Original subtitles

Mum, don't be shocked.

Don't cry and stay calm.

Right, I'm off for a trip.

I'm not just running away.

I want to walk around the island of Shikoku, just like a pilgrim.

Yes, I should have left you a letter that morning.

I just didn't bother that time.

Maybe you would have set off to come running after me.

I knew what was going on.

I knew that you went to a man's place that morning.

Don't be angry.

I'm not trying to be funny.

I do love you, mum.

You know what?

It feels great sleeping on the earth instead of a futon.

I always knew that a candle's flame is pretty.

But now I've learnt about the wonderful smell when putting it out.

Good night, mum.

I'll write again soon.

JOURNEY INTO SOLITUDE (Tabi No Omosa)

I have lived my life until today

Sometimes relying on the help of others

Sometimes clinging on to somebody else

I have lived my life until today

And this is what I came to think

That I will continue to live on like this from tomorrow

I have lived my life until today

Sometimes laughing at somebody

Sometimes getting threatened by somebody

I have lived my life until today

And this is what I came to think

That I will continue to live on like this from tomorrow

I have lived my life until today

Sometimes getting betrayed by somebody

Sometimes taking somebody's hand

I have lived my life until today

And this is what I came to think

That I will continue to live on like this from tomorrow

Mum, to be honest:

Even now, the only thing I can think of is you.

I'm 16 already! Why am I such a mama's girl?

Just as if I were possessed by your ghost!

You always say to me:

"My life could be so much easier if you would just die."

Now I am thinking...

... it would be better for me if you could just die.

Poor mum!

Excuse me!

Sorry to cause so many worries.

There was bereavement at my husband's family.

She's there on behalf of our family.

I see.

When she's back, please inform us at the school.

Sorry you came all the way...

Thinking of it, we are an interesting family, aren't we?

Just like allies or foes.

Or like lovers or friends.

But mum!

What if I never returned to you?

It's possible.

For now I just keep on walking.

Remember the poem I wrote?

One day I met my own skeleton.

The skeleton kept quiet

and with its eye holes dark like a cave

it just smiled at me.

The white bone-joints cracked

as it stroked me.

I took off for this trip to set myself free from such haunting illusions.

Refreshing air, uncharted lands.

I felt all would turn out fine if I just went on my trip.

Excuse me, would you give me some shelter while it's raining?

Even once the rain is over...

... you won't find your way once it's getting dark.

You can stay here if you don't mind sleeping on the floor.

Right, grandma?

Sorry, there are only cold leftovers...

That's fine.

Thank you for letting me stay.

Hope you like it.

Please have some.

I'm sure I will. Thank you so much!

Just leave the bowl here then.

Thanks.

Bon app�tit.

Hush, little baby. Don't cry.

Let's have some milk.

Your own shoes won't be dry by tomorrow morning.

Oh.

Thank you!

The red strap is really beautiful.

So, are you from around her?

Mmh?

I beg your pardon?

I'm asking if you are coming from around her.

Me?

I am ...

... on my pilgrimage.

So you are a pilgrim?

And how old are you?

I'd say still younger than 20 ...?

No...

I've just turned 20.

Has anyone around you died?

No...

Well then...

Any health problems then?

Yes...

At your young age!

But with your effort to prove your piety ...

... I am sure there will be a good effect.

And are both of your parents in good heatlth?

She fell asleep already?

Excuse me, may I join you?

Delicious!

Yes.

How brave you are, going on pilgrimage all by yourself.

Well...

You said you were 20...?

Yes...

What a tough girl you are.

Where are you from?

Nihama.

From Shikoku island then.

I'm from Hiroshima.

Oh yes...

It all happened when I was about your age.

The a-bomb ...

I had already been a dead body back then.

I was in the house when it happened.

When they pulled me out of the collapsed house ...

... I had lost consciousness and it was as if I was dead.

Thanks to that my skin didn't get burnt though.

But inside I was a total wreck.

To protect me from light and sun.

Being in a group of three is so much better than only two.

Three?

It says "always the two of us" here, right?

It means Master Kukai is always with you.

- Of course you knew that. - No.

Why not?

So you don't know much about pilgrimage?

Do you know why Kukai created the 88 pilgrim spots here on Shikoku?

No.

You don't know aynthing about Shikoku, your home island!

I hear that this god

promises most graciously to

guard the secret teaching which is

spread abroad in three lands

of India, China and Japan

Praised be the Bodhisattva Kannon

I hear that this god

promises most graciously to

guard the secret teaching which is

spread abroad in three lands ...

Mum.

I feel like melting into sun, earth and water little by little.

And I can feel how I become strong and mature.

Hey!

Stop it!

You should treat me to lunch.

So you are a school teacher?

No ...?

A habitual criminal then.

How about a drink? Coke or juice?

Some beer!

Miss! - Just kidding!

Thank you!

It was delicious. Good bye.

You!

Mum!

I am of the same age as these girls?

I just can't believe it.

I'm wondering why I suddenly feel so grown up.

Is it because I am traveling on my own?

Did it fill me with such self-confidence?

Mum...

It also scares me to see me changing so much.

Hello!

Stop!

Bastard!

Hello!

Thank you!

How many days haven't you had a bath?

You stink. Not that it matters ...

In spite of your pretty looks.

I was looking forward to have a fun drive with you until Kochi.

I stink so badly?

It's really bad.

It's a tough business being a beggar-pilgrim.

So without any bath ...

... how far will you get by foot?

Not that I'd care...

Mum, once people go on a trip they feel extremely lonely ...

... or they become stubborn.

They say traveling is about encounters.

But with encounters like this I just get angry and depressed.

That's what we both have to keep up with.

The night costs 300 Yen.

Can I take a bath?

That would be 30 Yen extra though ...

And then ...

Here.

I don't want trouble with the police, so think about what you write.

Fine.

Kator (= incense)

Makiko Katori

Mum, the Sea of Tosa!

I've always wanted to see it.

Finally I am here.

Here we are, for the first time in this region!

The Kunitaro-Matsuda- Theater-Troupe!

Here we are with all of our members.

To send you our never ending greetings.

On the stage:

Two of the stars of our troupe,

and me, the modest Ryunosuke Onoue,

in the famous Tosa-version of "The Wife-Love-Mountain-Pass"!

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Well, although we are here for the very first time ...

... we are so happy that so many of you have come.

I would like to thank you in the name of the whole troupe.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Well ...

Our play for the first day of our visit.

Our troupe's main star

Ryunosuke Onoue plays

"Tosa Shigure wa Tsuma Koi Dochu".

A scene from "Tosa Shigure Tsuma koi Dochu".

- You playboy! - Fantastic!

Followed by

the actress, who has been on top of the Daikyo Eiga Troupe,

Masako Ichimonji presents a new dance show.

Accompanied by Rumiko Koyanagi's famous

"My Castle Town".

You all know it: "My Castle Town"!

I love you, woman!

Slippig through the grille door

Looking up to the sky with the sun going down

Someone is singing a lullaby

My Castle Town

You are putting up a show here, Genjiro!

This girl does cost you 20 Ryo.

You won't get away from here without paying.

Come on!

Don't stand there watching. Come on and help me.

Fine then, just a moment.

I am going to finish him off.

Hey, you! Get ready to die!

I am happy to be your opponent.

- Let's fight! - Shut up!

If you have to kill, then kill me!

Well, nothing I can do.

We'll fight to the end the next time we meet.

But this is not how we intended it!

Genjiro, your friend will be here soon, right?

So you better stay here and wait.

It's so hot tonight.

So now it's time to part.

You do know that he has another girl friend?

Her name is Oryu.

So what am I, Okinu, supposed to do now?

Hang in there, girl!

I am here.

Oryu, it's me!

Genjiro!

Genjiro!

Traveler!

No peeping into the dressing room!

You look like you had a hard time, Oryu.

Oryu, rest in peace!

Thank you very much for your generous gifts.

Oryu, rest in peace!

In peeeeeeace!

Bravo!

Mum,

... for me, meeting this troupe is as if on my long and dreary path ...

... is suddenly lined by beautifully blooming flowers.

It's so impressive to see how much energy they put in everything they do.

I start feeling ashamed of being so absorbed in thoughts.

I can't cope anymore.

Jizo-Bosatsu, the protector of children appears

"Listen to me, crying and grieving child!"

Just stop it.

Sounds like a barker's song.

Look at this giant hole.

Hello.

The traveling girl from yesterday evening?

Yes.

Just by yourself ...?

Where you heading?

I thought I should see another show of yours.

A young girl like you likes our show?

It was really interesting.

There are just 5 of you, but it seemed like so many people.

And also ...

Also?

I like theater like this.

Watch out, it's a real sword!

I am kidding.

It's bamboo.

You are a pilgrim?

Or a hitch-hiker?

Or maybe you have other reasons to be on the road?

You sound just like your stage character.

When you do this for 40 years, it just becomes your nature.

40 years already?

Yeah ...

I've been on stage since I was 12.

Time to buy some fodder for our dinner.

Listen, I can do that for you.

I'm hitch-hiking.

I'm good at getting stuff for cheap.

Well then ...

That would be nice.

Good.

Why have I felt like joining these people?

You have an idea, mum?

Well, no matter how long I keep traveling by myself.

Or how much I act like a vagabond.

Compared to them I am still a child.

Just eating and sleeping.

Or making love. That's all they think about.

It's the noble type of vagabond life.

I've just poked my nose into their lives.

I feel depressed and full of doubts.

I can't understand people or the truth.

That's why I feel envious of their lives.

You!

Haven't your spent your own money on that?

No?

It's impossible to get that much for just 400 Yen!

You spent your own money to make sure we like you?

There's no need for that. Better take care of your money.

You will still need it.

Help! Someone stop them!

Help!

It's terrible!

Come! Hurry!

Boss, you are a crook!

Keeping the money for yourself!

Left in the lurch by his wife but playing the fat cat!

You are talking nonsense again!

Ouch! Ouuuuuch!

Leave him! Stop it!

You think I am stupid?

Enough is enough!

How dare you treat your boss like this!

You want to be a boss? Old fool!

Ungrateful wretches!

It't too much to take.

Why the fight?

- It's about the money. - The money?

What we got from the customers. Ryu's cut was too small.

As if that would matter.

Good morning.

Hi.

- Does it hurt? - No ...

But my limbs hurt. Not sure why ...

And these scrapes here ...

So you can't remember last night at all?

Last night?

What I did last night?

I was too drunk ... but considering the pain here ...

Guess we had a fight?

It's itchy.

Have you never seen a tattoo before?

Yes ...

- It's not the first time? - No.

But the first time I saw one point-blank.

I got it when I was young and wild. Back then I had good skin too.

Even five years ago my skin was all tight and smooth.

I was so proud of my tattoo.

But it's great.

My skin turned flabby.

And my tattoo died.

Sister!

I am ready!

Ready for a sumo-fight!

Heave ho!

Heave ho!

It's so stupid ...

You have a mother?

I don't know what ideas you have about traveling actors.

It's no fun at all.

There must be a lot of other jobs suitable for you.

Once your hitchhiking is over ...

... you should think it all over thoroughly.

I have never begged you to let me enter your troupe.

I have seen many girls following us actors around.

But all of them ...

But I never said that you were like them.

Sometimes you should listen to what an older man is telling you.

Right?

But well ...

You are a big help with your shopping skills.

You!

You don't love theater but our leader, don't you?

But no ...

That's not true.

Sorry.

I just remembered myself when I was younger.

I was 16. So It's quite a long time ago.

But you are still young.

When you are in this business ...

... you grow older 3 or 4 years every year.

You know, I ...

I fell in love with an actor when I was 16 and ran away.

I just had to go after him.

I was only a 16 year old girl from the countryside.

Are you talking about the leader?

No.

I just spent three years with that actor.

I'm a bit weird today, right?

Hey, how about a swim?

But.

Don't worry. We need no bathing suits!

Come here!

Hmm? Have you said anything?

You are like a mermaid.

What's your real age?

Your body is younger than 20!

I can see through you.

Shut up!

How good this feels.

What are you staring at?

Is my body that battered?

So many men were on top of this body.

They just flew past it, just like the breeze.

Without leaving a single memory.

You are from Iyo, aren't you?

What ...?

Well, you clearly speak Iyo-dialect.

Is it that clear? I've been around so many places.

It's a hodgepodge.

Hey!

What are you brooding over? Your home?

Not good for a traveling actress.

- Let's dance! - I can't dance.

At your age the heat shouldn't matter. I'll teach you.

Come on, let's dance!

This is a waltz piece.

1... 2... 3...

2... 2.. 3...

3... 2... 3...

4... 2... 3...

5... 2... 3...

6... 2... 3...

You are getting good.

Don't look at your feet but at me.

Slow ...

That's right.

Perfect.

Yes.

No!

No!

I was just lousing you.

Hey, Mitsuko!

Come here!

- What are you doing? - I'm just lousing her.

- Leave her! - Shut up, you ....!

At first

at the palace of Enma, the king of hell

a dead man, fallen there from this world,

goes down on his knees in front of King Enma

"Please, King Enma, please let me pass"

But Enma does not grant him his wish

Not to a man who lived the life of a thief

A double mirror reflects the sight of hell

The sun carriage arrives to carry him away

And now the story of the children in limbo

One or two or three or four

But fewer than ten little children

Come together in the limbo's river bed

Gathering stones up to ten in number

One stone, longing for mother

Two stones, longing for father

Longing, longing while collecting stones

Playing together as good friends during the day

But turning into ashes with the sunset

An evil devil comes for them

Trampling on the collected stones, shattering them into pieces

Jizo-Bosatsu, the protector of children appears

"Listen to me, crying and grieving child!"

"Your father and your mother are still alive in this world."

"I will be your parent instead of them."

The children heard him and were full of happiness

I had no idea.

I am sorry.

Why do you worry so much?

I wanted to say goodbye ...

Goodbye?

I'd feel relieved if you just hit me.

Please, hit me.

Well ...

Think it over again.

Why not work with us here in this village?

We found a job. At the dam's building site.

The men at the building site.

The women in the barracks' kitchen.

And we perform in the evenings.

We'll make money.

And there is so much I still want to talk to you about.

Don't cry.

You make me sad too.

You lonely traveler, no wonder you feel lost.

Cry.

Cry it all out.

I love you.

Leave it out.

Cry.

Cry as hard as you can.

Mum, it's finally time for me to leave this place

I am sure this girl and I will leave a big impression on each other.

Will this make a crystal, beautiful like a pearl grow inside of me?

What's wrong, mum?

You poor thing.

Mum ...

I got exhausted from the traveling.

Day and night.

Paths and fields.

Sea and mountains.

I am fed up from walking around in this low speed.

Maybe I am getting sick?

I guess these words will worry you.

You'll probably order me to come home.

But I won't come home.

Because ... if I go home now ...

I would always suffer from my trip being a big failure.

Grannie ...

I am not ...

... dead yet.

Mum ...

I am really ill now.

The trainers I was wearing when I left home ...

... the soles are totally worn down now.

It feels like something terribly heavy is pushing me down.

It's so heavy.

So heavy ...

This is ...

Yes ...

The weight of traveling ...

The weight of traveling.

But ...

I don't hate this weight.

If I'd stop feeling it, it would be the end ...

But ...

It's heavy ...

It's tough ...

Mum ...

Is this the end of my trip?

If I have to die, I want to be with you.

I would want you to touch my fragile dead body.

I want you to touch my ears with your cold hands.

You woke up?

That's good.

Where am I?

In my house.

After three days in bed your fever went down.

You have a cold.

Thank you.

I thought you were dead when I first saw you.

Just don't worry and become healthy soon.

You can eat?

You should eat anyway.

Your rough lips are a sign of poor nutrition.

Here.

Thank you.

I am selling fish.

I am going around the villages so it will be late when I come home.

You can eat by yourself?

Thank you.

Thanking me once is enough.

Take a rest and eat. You will be better soon.

Mum, there are all kinds of people in this world.

Living here a poor and quiet life like this.

That's the kind of house I want to live in with you one day.

But please stop insisting on having sashimi for dinner every day then.

One sardine for you and one for me, that's good enough.

Fried with ginger and soy sauce they'll be fantastic.

So we can avoid wasting money and you can paint your pictures.

Morning!

Morning!

This one?

- That one? - This?

That's a big one.

And octopus?

Two?

- This one. - Sure.

One more.

Hello.

I was expecting this.

Stay here until you have recovered.

Look at yourself in a mirror: like a dead body!

What's wrong?

How can you say such things like God or Buddha?

Something must be wrong with your head from the fever.

Hello.

Please!

Tell me if there is any work I can do.

Thanks to you I feel much better.

I want to pay you back before I leave.

Don't worry about that.

- Just go. - No way!

Maybe you are happy when you can help somebody.

But I can't just thank you and leave.

But you have a goal, don't you?

Just go there.

I can help with your business or anything else.

Just give me orders.

My business isn't something for a young girl.

And it only pays when I have many fish like today.

You aren't here because you ran away form home, mmh?

If you have parents, you should go back to them.

I have nobody.

But you wrote letters.

For whom?

I eat outside.

And there isn't much to clean here.

I have nothing to do for you.

Well ...

Just go back to the person you wrote letters to.

Who wants vegetables?

Who wants vegetables?

Who wants vegetables?

Who wants vegetables?

You fanned the whole time?

How much was it?

It's okay. I'll cook dinner tonight.

I'll rub you dry.

Sit down.

Here.

How is it?

Feels good.

What's up?

You can't sleep?

Well ...

Can I come over?

I never knew my dad.

You don't have to tell me about such things.

Asleep already?

It felt like the man sleeping in front of me ...

... was the uncle I had really liked the whole time

It felt like he was on my side even before I was born.

Thinking like this, I felt peaceful for the first time during this trip.

Hello.

Ah, hello.

Waiting for Mr. Kimura?

Yes.

Guess he's on the boat.

The boat?

He doesn't talk much, does he?

A boat? Did he go far away?

He sometimes joins the fishermen when they need help.

I see.

But he should stay at home while his niece is here.

You like reading novels?

I wanted this book, so I bought it second hand from my salary.

Really?

I just like reading, that's all.

- You like novels too? - Yes.

The stuff written in the novel feels so much realer than this.

But ...

The more I read, the more I get scared of myself.

Kayo, what are you doing?

Coming!

- Let's chat about novels next time. - Yes.

Mum, he hasn't come home for three days already.

I don't know if he is out there helping the fishermen.

Or maybe he is even somewhere injured.

But, my biggest worry ...

... is that he doesn't come home because he does not like me.

So Kimura is with the police?

He might get released after two or three days.

They won't keep him that long for a bit of gambling.

Kimura, I can't believe it. He is not really a gangster.

What an idiot, getting arrested for gambling.

Welcome home.

Here.

Look here, uncle!

See?

Well?

Can you do that?

I'll teach you then. It's a piece of cake.

Come.

Push yourself up with your toes like this.

Okay? Try it.

No!

Take a swing like this.

Okay?

And then up ... up ...

Forget it. I am no good at this.

Wait!

Mum, it is always, always the same with me.

Why can't I have someone to open up our hearts to each other?

No, it's not only me.

It's the same with you and me. Always.

Nobody understands us.

Nobody wants to welcome us with open arms.

No matter how hard we try.

The harder we try, the more do people get away from us.

Why did she commit suicide?

I somehow feel that I can understand it.

If I hadn't left home to go on this trip ...

... the same might have happened to me.

Mum, I'm including 1000 yen.

You can get yourself a nice meal.

Or buy yourself a tube of paint if you need one.

Use it freely please.

Mum, I am working now.

What kind of job do you think it is?

A sales girl.

No idea how long I will stay like a wife with him.

I never said that I wanted to marry him.

Or that we should have been good friends.

Nevertheless, we somehow turned into a nice married couple.

Mum, don't get angry.

I want you to leave me alone for a while.

So I won't tell you my address.

Until now I always kept up with your selfishness.

Now it's your turn to keep up.

Just a little, mum.

Then we'll finally be even.

I have lived my life until today

Sometimes relying on the help of others

Sometimes clinging on to somebody else

I have lived my life until today

And this is what I came to think

That I will continue to live on like this from tomorrow

I have lived my life until today

Sometimes laughing at somebody ...

Based on the novel by Kukiko Moto

Written by Shiro Ishimori

Produced by Tsutomu Kamimura

Camera Noritaka Sakamoto

Music Takuro Yoshita

"I have lived my life until today" Lyrics/Music by Takuro Yoshida

Cast

The girl: Yoko Takahashi

Momo: Kyoko Kishida

Hideo Sunazuka Eri Yokoyama

Kana Nakayama Yukihiko Yamamoto

Kimura: Etsushi Takahashi

Kunitaro: Rentaro Mikuni

Directed by Koichi Saito

Subtitles by Totorochi

THE END