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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,164 --> 00:00:04,647 15 he's married. 2 00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:07,175 They captured Saddam Hussein on the day of our wedding. 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,380 One dictatorship ended, another one begun. (CHUCKLES) 4 00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:12,940 Of course, in this situation, I'm the... the dick. 5 00:00:12,965 --> 00:00:14,141 Where are you taking us? 6 00:00:14,166 --> 00:00:20,176 Well, all will be revealed, but I think that you are going to love it. 7 00:00:20,574 --> 00:00:22,716 OK, you finish packing, I'm going to get the kids sorted. 8 00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:24,485 OK, good idea. 9 00:00:36,220 --> 00:00:37,280 Ooh...! 10 00:00:41,398 --> 00:00:43,998 Greg is going to get lucky tonight. 11 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,180 (FARTS, SNORTS) 12 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,540 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION IN THE BACKGROUND) 13 00:01:01,340 --> 00:01:04,136 (SIGHS) Mum, I need my room back. 14 00:01:04,161 --> 00:01:06,223 Oh, Sophie, how many times have we had this... 15 00:01:06,248 --> 00:01:08,100 Chloe's night terrors are freaking me out. 16 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,731 They're not night terrors, I enjoy them. 17 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,068 You stood over my bed last night 18 00:01:12,093 --> 00:01:14,858 and sang, Ring A Ring A Rosie, with your eyes wide open. 19 00:01:14,883 --> 00:01:16,263 Cool. 20 00:01:16,295 --> 00:01:19,435 Look, Uncle Brad is... he's... 21 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,380 Is getting back on his feet and he's lonely. 22 00:01:23,405 --> 00:01:25,100 but once he meets someone, 23 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,527 then he'll find a place of his own. 24 00:01:26,551 --> 00:01:28,284 He's always going on dates with women. 25 00:01:28,309 --> 00:01:30,769 Why can't he just find one and move in with them? 26 00:01:30,794 --> 00:01:32,700 Because it's not that easy. 27 00:01:33,217 --> 00:01:34,517 For him. 28 00:01:34,542 --> 00:01:36,745 Adults always overcomplicate things. 29 00:01:36,770 --> 00:01:38,135 I'm sure it is that easy, 30 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,099 I just have to find him the right person, then he'll move. 31 00:01:41,124 --> 00:01:42,761 Well, if you can find him a girlfriend with a house 32 00:01:42,785 --> 00:01:43,980 and a pool, that would be awesome. 33 00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:44,753 - Hmm. - Let's go. 34 00:01:44,792 --> 00:01:47,376 - OK, be good, be good, OK. - See you, Chlo. 35 00:01:47,698 --> 00:01:49,362 Happy anniversary. 36 00:01:49,387 --> 00:01:51,604 You're so thoughtful. Thanks, darling. 37 00:01:53,729 --> 00:01:55,700 Do you have any idea where we're going yet? 38 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,940 Wouldn't have a clue and couldn't be happier. 39 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,898 Just happy to have a night without the kids. 40 00:01:59,923 --> 00:02:02,700 Yeah, I think that you're going to love it. 41 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,687 - Sure I will. - Mm-hm. 42 00:02:04,718 --> 00:02:07,020 Marlo sent us a text to say happy anniversary. 43 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,020 She and Terry were going to pop over last night, but they had a fight. 44 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,460 You know, sometimes, I think, that they invent fights 45 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,260 just to get to the make-up sex. 46 00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:15,448 - Really? - Yeah. 47 00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:18,940 I walked in on them last week because Terry didn't wipe the sink. 48 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,170 Who wipes the sink? 49 00:02:20,195 --> 00:02:22,394 Well, obviously not you. 50 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,829 Maybe we should try that. 51 00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:26,154 What? 52 00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:27,759 You know, make up a fight. 53 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,935 Oh, so that we can have make up sex? 54 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:31,905 Mmm. 55 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,900 It worked for Terry and Marlo, I'm sure we've got that in us. 56 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,420 - Oh, yeah. - Come on, Em, start a little argument. 57 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:38,740 But why do I have to start? 58 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,809 Because you're good at starting fights. 59 00:02:40,834 --> 00:02:42,650 It's one of your superpowers. 60 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:46,351 Yeah, OK, OK. 61 00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:47,700 (CLEARS THROAT) 62 00:02:48,275 --> 00:02:51,361 Gee, Greg, I've noticed that you've put on a bit of weight recently. 63 00:02:51,587 --> 00:02:53,160 Oh, piss off. 64 00:02:53,185 --> 00:02:55,365 I mean, that's... I'm sorry, that's a bit... 65 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,940 That's one of the no-go areas. 66 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,480 I didn't realise you were going to say that. I mean, that's... 67 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,860 OK, OK, well, then, you try starting a fake fight, 68 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,706 - it's... - OK. 69 00:03:04,731 --> 00:03:08,770 Um, Emily, I, I believe that perhaps, this morning, 70 00:03:08,795 --> 00:03:10,740 you've gone a little bit hard on the make-up. 71 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,255 Oh, oh, did I now? 72 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,692 Yeah, possibly. 73 00:03:14,717 --> 00:03:17,226 Looks a little bit sl... 74 00:03:18,925 --> 00:03:20,045 Oh, slutty? 75 00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:21,343 Your word, not mine. 76 00:03:21,585 --> 00:03:23,420 Greg, I have seen more convincing performances 77 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,343 in a Bunnings commercial. 78 00:03:25,368 --> 00:03:26,984 Oh, some of them are very good. 79 00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:29,660 Seriously, who wipes the sink? 80 00:03:30,813 --> 00:03:32,523 That's better. 81 00:03:32,548 --> 00:03:33,548 Bradley! 82 00:03:33,868 --> 00:03:39,304 4.7. Our perfect rating is now 4.7, out of five. 83 00:03:39,329 --> 00:03:40,489 Right? 84 00:03:40,855 --> 00:03:42,964 Our Uber rating has gone down. 85 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,729 Oh. 86 00:03:44,754 --> 00:03:45,788 What did you do? 87 00:03:45,813 --> 00:03:47,669 We were perfect passengers. 88 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,404 We asked her where she was from... 89 00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:50,740 - Germany. - Russia. 90 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,616 We asked her how long she'd been in Australia. 91 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,380 - 27 years. - It was 12 years, actually. 92 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,780 It was 12 years, but... She seemed lonely. 93 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,019 So, Terry even gave her a free life coaching voucher. 94 00:04:00,044 --> 00:04:02,256 Yeah, it was the least I could do, but, still, 4.7. 95 00:04:02,281 --> 00:04:03,461 - 4.7! - Aargh! 96 00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:04,656 - Aargh! - You right there, Tez? 97 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:05,940 Yeah. 98 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,386 We had make-up sex, cuddles last night in the laundry. 99 00:04:09,411 --> 00:04:11,152 Doing the old reverse tumble dryer. 100 00:04:11,177 --> 00:04:13,201 If our whitegoods could talk, I mean... 101 00:04:13,226 --> 00:04:15,224 And, so, can you fix this or what, Bradley? 102 00:04:15,249 --> 00:04:16,705 Well, only the driver can amend the rating. 103 00:04:16,729 --> 00:04:17,850 Could you put us in touch with her? 104 00:04:17,874 --> 00:04:21,154 Guys, there's no way. It's against the Uber code of ethics. 105 00:04:21,179 --> 00:04:22,897 I could get hauled in front of the Uber tribunal, 106 00:04:22,921 --> 00:04:24,076 just for talking to you about this. 107 00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:25,917 Do you know this woman? 108 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:27,876 Wow, she's beautiful. 109 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:30,478 Yeah, we need to talk some sense into her! 110 00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:32,110 I mean, this must be a mistake. 111 00:04:32,135 --> 00:04:34,243 4.7! 112 00:04:34,268 --> 00:04:37,705 She does have amazing eyes. So intense. 113 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,700 But, no, no, I can't. 114 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,640 OK, this is your problem. 115 00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:47,720 I have a lot of problems, Sophie, you'll have to be more specific. 116 00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:49,760 I know you're looking for love, Uncle Brad, OK? 117 00:04:49,860 --> 00:04:51,720 But you're not going to find it on Tinder. 118 00:04:51,780 --> 00:04:52,586 What? 119 00:04:52,611 --> 00:04:55,271 You have to take the real-life opportunities. 120 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,600 And this woman looks really nice. 121 00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:03,779 And she's a little bit older, which might be a good thing. 122 00:05:04,802 --> 00:05:06,480 And she's lonely. 123 00:05:13,128 --> 00:05:14,488 (SIGHS) 124 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,760 I might be able to make some calls. 125 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,508 - Yes! - Great, Bradley. 126 00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:23,649 - (GRUNTS) - Ah, careful. 127 00:05:23,674 --> 00:05:25,344 So, do you recognize it? 128 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:26,719 It's... 129 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,180 a roadside motel. 130 00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:30,680 It's OUR motel, Greg. 131 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,736 In... in, what sense? 132 00:05:32,761 --> 00:05:34,908 Well, don't you remember, we'd just started dating, 133 00:05:34,933 --> 00:05:36,480 and we got drunk at the Loaded Toad. 134 00:05:36,505 --> 00:05:37,308 Yeah. 135 00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:40,060 And then you lost your wallet, with your house keys, down the drain. 136 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,482 Sounds like something I would do. 137 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:42,922 And then we got kicked out of the cab, 138 00:05:42,946 --> 00:05:46,927 because you said to the cabbie, "Wank you very much," 139 00:05:46,952 --> 00:05:48,420 which you could never get away with. 140 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,801 - You always could. - Yes, wank you very much. 141 00:05:50,826 --> 00:05:51,590 OK then. 142 00:05:51,615 --> 00:05:53,975 And then we came here, and we got a hotel room. 143 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,565 Good, good one. 144 00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:57,555 - Funny. Funny. - Yeah. 145 00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:59,310 Wait, wait. We're not actually staying here, are we? 146 00:05:59,334 --> 00:06:00,434 Yeah, well, I... 147 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,260 I thought that it would be romantic. 148 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,540 Did you at least check with the Trivago girls? 149 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,262 - She's... - We're doing this, Greg. 150 00:06:07,980 --> 00:06:08,980 Good. 151 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,194 Greg. 152 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,778 Here's your chance. 153 00:06:17,803 --> 00:06:19,103 Chance for what? 154 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:20,748 Wank you very much. 155 00:06:20,773 --> 00:06:22,780 I couldn't get away with it, with a cab driver, 156 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,856 let alone a police officer. 157 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,540 Oh, go on. 158 00:06:25,867 --> 00:06:27,860 Em, she's an officer of the law. 159 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,400 I'm pretty sure... 160 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,860 - that's illegal. - Fine, I'll do it. 161 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,500 No, no, no. No, hang on, just... 162 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,525 I'm still good for it! 163 00:06:35,550 --> 00:06:38,290 No, no. Jeez, take a joke, why don't you? 164 00:06:38,695 --> 00:06:39,695 I mean... 165 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,856 your sense of humour called and they want to know where you are. 166 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,780 - (CHUCKLES) - What? 167 00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:51,654 Excuse me, officer. 168 00:06:54,199 --> 00:06:55,699 (CLEARS THROAT) Officer? 169 00:06:55,724 --> 00:06:58,129 Oh, yes? 170 00:06:58,154 --> 00:07:01,059 Ah, ah, do you have the time? 171 00:07:01,084 --> 00:07:03,226 Ah, yes, it's just past five. 172 00:07:03,251 --> 00:07:05,311 Oh, wank you very much. 173 00:07:05,785 --> 00:07:07,045 Sorry, what was that? 174 00:07:07,909 --> 00:07:11,249 I was just... saying, "Wank you very much." 175 00:07:11,337 --> 00:07:13,446 Did you just say, "Wank you very much?" 176 00:07:14,258 --> 00:07:16,060 Do you think because of what I choose to do for a living, 177 00:07:16,084 --> 00:07:18,815 you can say "Wank you very much" to me? 178 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,552 Why would I say that, you're a police officer. 179 00:07:20,576 --> 00:07:21,998 It makes no sense that I would say that. 180 00:07:22,022 --> 00:07:24,396 - That's right. Yeah, I'm a police officer. - Yes. 181 00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:25,302 Right! 182 00:07:25,327 --> 00:07:26,641 So I'm going to ask you again. 183 00:07:26,666 --> 00:07:27,521 And before you answer, 184 00:07:27,546 --> 00:07:30,372 know that I have a body camera on me at all times, recording everything. 185 00:07:30,396 --> 00:07:33,960 Did you just say, "Wank you very much?" 186 00:07:35,460 --> 00:07:37,794 - She made me do it. - What? 187 00:07:37,819 --> 00:07:38,833 Is this true, ma'am? 188 00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:42,180 Well, oh, I'm sorry, but no. 189 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:43,776 I don't even know what that word means. 190 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,249 You know what it means. 191 00:07:45,274 --> 00:07:48,620 You know, this job, it comes with a lot of pressure, 192 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,060 you know, these days, with terrorism, now. 193 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,820 - Mmm. - Yeah. 194 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,860 - Crime. - Mmm. 195 00:07:55,885 --> 00:07:58,055 We would appreciate it if members of the public 196 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:01,471 didn't come up to us and say, "Wank you very much." 197 00:08:01,496 --> 00:08:02,620 Understood? 198 00:08:02,645 --> 00:08:06,764 Yes, I'm sorry. We... we're both sorry. 199 00:08:06,789 --> 00:08:07,729 Right. 200 00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:09,450 - First and last warning. - Yeah. 201 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,255 - 10-four. - Yep. 202 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,540 - Over and out. - Yeah. Yeah. 203 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:13,980 Sorry, OK. 204 00:08:15,359 --> 00:08:16,205 Happy? 205 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,340 Oh, I can't believe you ratted on me. 206 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,382 (CHUCKLES) 207 00:08:19,407 --> 00:08:22,310 OK, Beryl Deep, the director's ready for you. 208 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,140 Did you just hear those two idiots, totally thought I was a real cop. 209 00:08:25,595 --> 00:08:26,735 Congratulations. 210 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,627 - Thank you. - Let's go shoot a porno. 211 00:08:28,652 --> 00:08:31,486 Roger that. 10-4. Over and out. 212 00:08:32,408 --> 00:08:33,752 (SIGHS) 213 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,300 (SUSPENSEFUL WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS) 214 00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:49,074 - She's here. - Are you nervous? 215 00:08:49,099 --> 00:08:50,420 Of course I'm nervous. 216 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,543 Uber's number-one selling point is the fact that they can track us. 217 00:08:53,568 --> 00:08:55,108 And the mints. 218 00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:57,364 OK. Well, forget Uber and just focus on... 219 00:08:57,389 --> 00:09:01,008 Nadia - 52, five foot nine, Russian. 220 00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:04,420 Eyes like Gold Coast wave pools during school holidays. 221 00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:06,699 You're more focused than I realised. 222 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,104 I don't even know if she's single. 223 00:09:10,143 --> 00:09:12,620 - Well, just find out. - Well, how do I do that? 224 00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:14,380 I don't know. just be subtle. 225 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,470 You know, look for a wedding ring. Just be cool. 226 00:09:17,495 --> 00:09:20,115 Yeah, just be cool, Uncle Brad. 227 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:25,940 - Go! - Oh. 228 00:09:26,117 --> 00:09:27,237 Jeez. 229 00:09:51,809 --> 00:09:53,580 (THINKS) "Look for a wedding ring." 230 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,700 Are you single? 231 00:10:13,299 --> 00:10:15,900 - MARLO: Brad's made contact. - TERRY: I'm ready to go in. 232 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,840 Did you bring any protection, Tez? 233 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,420 Probably not the right time, darl. 234 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,100 No, I meant a weapon. 235 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,380 What if this Russian goes all KGB on us? 236 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:27,140 Well, we'll just go all KGB all over her. 237 00:10:27,165 --> 00:10:29,599 Failing that, you brought the peace offering? 238 00:10:30,442 --> 00:10:31,550 Freshly baked. 239 00:10:31,575 --> 00:10:32,348 (TIN RATTLES) 240 00:10:32,373 --> 00:10:34,036 Let's do this. 241 00:10:37,797 --> 00:10:39,698 GREG: Oh, I mean, it's certainly... 242 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:41,103 Don't. 243 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:45,250 Sorry, you're right, it's going to be great. 244 00:10:45,726 --> 00:10:49,060 And it's time for your anniversary gift. 245 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,700 - Close your eyes. - Oh, OK! 246 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,635 - (SIGHS) - (CHUCKLES) 247 00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,060 Greg. 248 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:03,965 Why does the room all of a sudden smell like a urine-soaked nappy? 249 00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:07,466 Well, in fairness, the room smelt like that before we got here. 250 00:11:07,491 --> 00:11:11,521 Oh, Greg, did you pack beer in the case? 251 00:11:11,753 --> 00:11:13,685 It's your anniversary gift. 252 00:11:16,521 --> 00:11:18,742 Grim Lager? 253 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,275 Yeah, it's a... it's a home-brew, um, our own special drop, 254 00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:24,774 established 2003. 255 00:11:25,165 --> 00:11:26,718 You made me home brew? 256 00:11:26,743 --> 00:11:28,656 There's still one intact, we should... we should taste it. 257 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:29,776 - Oh, no, no, no. - No. We should. 258 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,097 - It's OK. - (BEER FIZZES) 259 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,140 Sorry. 260 00:11:40,676 --> 00:11:41,676 Speak. 261 00:11:41,777 --> 00:11:43,595 I've made you a peace offering. 262 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,792 Nadia? 263 00:11:44,817 --> 00:11:46,572 It's Anzac bickies in there. 264 00:11:46,597 --> 00:11:49,783 And they're infused with Turkish delight. 265 00:11:49,808 --> 00:11:53,436 Consider it a... a peace treaty. 266 00:11:53,461 --> 00:11:55,975 A sweetie treaty, peace treat. 267 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,420 They may declare war on your waistline, Nadia, 268 00:11:58,445 --> 00:12:00,758 but they're bloody delicious. 269 00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:03,328 - You can keep the tin. - I don't want tin. 270 00:12:03,353 --> 00:12:04,533 OK. 271 00:12:05,229 --> 00:12:07,249 Mmm. I like. 272 00:12:07,274 --> 00:12:09,742 BRAD: Oh, well, another strike. 273 00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:12,070 Oh, Brad, you can't give up just like that. 274 00:12:12,095 --> 00:12:13,701 I'm not good at this stuff, Soph. 275 00:12:13,726 --> 00:12:15,406 And there's nothing you can do to fix that. 276 00:12:16,165 --> 00:12:18,270 And, don't worry, you can have your room back. 277 00:12:18,295 --> 00:12:20,175 I know that's the only reason you're helping me. 278 00:12:21,196 --> 00:12:22,475 I can be your wing girl. 279 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,977 I want to be a wing girl too! 280 00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:28,085 I just never know what to say. 281 00:12:28,110 --> 00:12:29,932 Maybe just don't say anything then. 282 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:32,320 You know, let your actions do the talking. 283 00:12:32,380 --> 00:12:34,000 Actions. 284 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,158 Like... dancing? 285 00:12:36,183 --> 00:12:38,360 No, not dancing. 286 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,769 What do you mean, then? 287 00:12:43,503 --> 00:12:45,243 I don't know yet. 288 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,118 Greg, why would you think I would like that? 289 00:12:52,142 --> 00:12:53,962 I don't even drink beer. 290 00:12:54,124 --> 00:12:56,851 - You used to drink beer. - Oh, yeah, before we were married! 291 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:57,876 Like, seriously, Greg, 292 00:12:57,940 --> 00:13:00,880 it would be like me buying you the box set of Sex and the City. 293 00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:02,537 I used to watch that show with you! 294 00:13:02,562 --> 00:13:04,140 Yeah. But you only pretended to like it. 295 00:13:04,164 --> 00:13:05,600 At least I care enough to pretend. 296 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,300 Yeah? Well, you could have fooled me! 297 00:13:07,340 --> 00:13:08,640 What's that supposed to mean? 298 00:13:08,665 --> 00:13:10,836 Oh, why don't you ask the Trivago girl? 299 00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:13,300 Oh, seriously, this is the last time... 300 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,576 - (PHONE RINGS) - that I organise anything romantic for us. 301 00:13:16,845 --> 00:13:17,925 Oh! 302 00:13:18,996 --> 00:13:20,775 Hello, Emily Butler speaking. 303 00:13:21,253 --> 00:13:22,573 Oh, hi, Carol! 304 00:13:23,008 --> 00:13:24,008 Yeah! 305 00:13:25,048 --> 00:13:26,068 Yeah? 306 00:13:26,923 --> 00:13:28,160 - Yeah? - (SIGHS) 307 00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:29,520 Oh, yeah, of course. 308 00:13:29,545 --> 00:13:31,235 I can change that around. That's fine. 309 00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:32,980 (LAUGHS) Isn't that the truth? 310 00:13:33,005 --> 00:13:34,205 Alright. Bye, Carol. 311 00:13:38,966 --> 00:13:41,240 How is it OK that I get the worst version of you? 312 00:13:41,340 --> 00:13:44,739 Oh, and this version of you is a fucking masterpiece? 313 00:13:44,764 --> 00:13:48,138 There you go again, using your super power. 314 00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:49,146 Oh! 315 00:13:49,171 --> 00:13:50,772 I'm going to the bar, if this place even has one. 316 00:13:50,796 --> 00:13:52,516 Oh, well, tell them if they've run out of beer, 317 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:55,750 that they can come and wring out my lingerie! 318 00:13:58,220 --> 00:14:02,320 Your two star review brought us down to a 4.7. 319 00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:06,806 In Russia, every driver give under two stars. 320 00:14:06,831 --> 00:14:10,334 There is only one man with three stars, and he is national hero. 321 00:14:10,797 --> 00:14:12,117 Wow. 322 00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:14,121 Was it Marlo's perfume? 323 00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:16,442 Yeah, it's that new Britney Spears. 324 00:14:16,467 --> 00:14:17,467 No. 325 00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:21,094 Did you... did you think that Terry picked his nose, because... 326 00:14:21,119 --> 00:14:22,396 I saw you looking at me in the mirror. 327 00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:23,420 No. 328 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:25,842 You really want to know? 329 00:14:25,867 --> 00:14:26,867 - Yes. - Yeah. 330 00:14:27,548 --> 00:14:29,181 It was voucher. 331 00:14:29,220 --> 00:14:30,360 The what? 332 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:33,117 The life doctor voucher. 333 00:14:33,142 --> 00:14:35,894 You think I look like a person who has life problem? 334 00:14:35,919 --> 00:14:37,195 - (SIGHS) - I want to say yes. 335 00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:38,600 - No. - No. 336 00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:42,183 And even if I did, what makes you think I cannot solve them myself? 337 00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:43,668 Is it because I'm Russian? 338 00:14:43,693 --> 00:14:44,920 - No. - No! 339 00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:46,699 Terry loves Russia. 340 00:14:46,724 --> 00:14:51,018 His favourite Rocky is the one where he beats the shit of the Russian. 341 00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:54,634 Every problem I have, I can solve by myself, and... 342 00:14:54,659 --> 00:14:55,719 Ooh! 343 00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:57,720 Oh! 344 00:14:57,745 --> 00:14:59,173 Ooh! You right? 345 00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:00,280 (GROANS) 346 00:15:00,305 --> 00:15:02,022 Nadia! You OK? 347 00:15:02,047 --> 00:15:03,608 What is in biscuit?! 348 00:15:03,633 --> 00:15:06,475 - (GASPS FOR BREATH) - Are you allergic to pistachios? 349 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:10,632 OH! Was pistachio in Anzac biscuit! 350 00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,160 It was... it was a peace biscuit. 351 00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,040 I mean, the Turks love pistachio. 352 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:15,200 She needs a doctor! 353 00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:16,866 She said she didn't want my help, Marlo. 354 00:15:16,890 --> 00:15:19,233 She needs a real doctor, Terry! 355 00:15:20,852 --> 00:15:22,032 Get her out. 356 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,005 - Come on. - What's happening? 357 00:15:25,030 --> 00:15:26,720 She's gone into anaphylactic shock! 358 00:15:26,780 --> 00:15:27,916 SOPHIE: She must have an Epipen. 359 00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:30,040 - (CHOKES AND GROANS) - Check the glove box. 360 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,006 - That's it. - I've got it, I've got it. 361 00:15:33,031 --> 00:15:34,160 (GROANS) 362 00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:37,344 Uncle Brad... it's time to dance. 363 00:15:41,301 --> 00:15:42,501 May I? 364 00:15:43,362 --> 00:15:44,702 - Nadia... - (GROANS) 365 00:15:44,727 --> 00:15:46,451 look into my eyes. 366 00:15:48,283 --> 00:15:50,463 (YELLS) (SCREAMS) 367 00:15:51,540 --> 00:15:53,640 (GROANS) 368 00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:58,200 (ANGELIC MUSIC) 369 00:15:59,852 --> 00:16:01,472 Boring! 370 00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:10,440 (RACECALLER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ON TV) 371 00:16:10,702 --> 00:16:11,822 Thanks. 372 00:16:13,762 --> 00:16:15,496 15 years on, eh? 373 00:16:16,232 --> 00:16:18,032 Are they any better or worse off? 374 00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:21,040 Yeah. 375 00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:25,604 You know, I can remember exactly where I was 15 years ago 376 00:16:25,629 --> 00:16:27,162 when they caught him. 377 00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:29,393 So can I, funnily enough. 378 00:16:29,932 --> 00:16:31,375 I was in a threesome. 379 00:16:31,743 --> 00:16:32,903 What were you doing? 380 00:16:33,755 --> 00:16:34,995 I was in a church. 381 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:36,628 Oh. 382 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,376 What are the odds of that? 383 00:16:38,852 --> 00:16:40,562 My threesome was in a church. 384 00:16:41,963 --> 00:16:43,531 Michael Fassmember. 385 00:16:44,541 --> 00:16:45,975 Like the actor? 386 00:16:46,660 --> 00:16:47,940 Yeah, obviously. 387 00:16:50,811 --> 00:16:52,211 (SIGHS) 388 00:16:55,958 --> 00:16:57,259 MAN: (THROUGH WALL) Am I under arrest? 389 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,583 WOMAN: Take that. You're under arrest. 390 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,040 Have you been a very naughty criminal? 391 00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:06,255 Yes, I am a very naughty criminal. 392 00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:08,107 - Wow. - Oh... 393 00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:09,595 (CHUCKLES) 394 00:17:10,087 --> 00:17:11,667 - Yeah. - Yeah. 395 00:17:12,763 --> 00:17:14,880 Oh, yeah. that's it. 396 00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:16,911 REPORTER: Fall of Saddam Hussein... 397 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,309 - That's right. - Yeah... 398 00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:21,034 - Right there. Yep. - (REPORT CONTINUES ON TV) 399 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:22,800 - (MOANS) - Oh, God. 400 00:17:23,071 --> 00:17:24,291 More. 401 00:17:24,316 --> 00:17:25,316 More... 402 00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,000 - More! Yes! - (MOANS) 403 00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:29,080 Yes! Oh! 404 00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:30,840 (INCREASINGLY HIGH-PITCHED) Yes! Oh! 405 00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:32,684 - Yeah... - Harder! 406 00:17:32,709 --> 00:17:34,160 Exactly. 407 00:17:34,260 --> 00:17:36,122 I mean, did you think to yourself 15 years ago, 408 00:17:36,147 --> 00:17:40,189 that, you know, you'd be in some shitty motel, 409 00:17:40,214 --> 00:17:43,357 doing the same old things to the same old people? 410 00:17:43,592 --> 00:17:45,800 Just fluffing your way through life. 411 00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:47,040 (PHONE RINGS) 412 00:17:48,138 --> 00:17:51,155 Ah... I should get this. 413 00:17:51,420 --> 00:17:54,443 I accidentally soaked my wife's lingerie in the old home-brew. 414 00:17:54,498 --> 00:17:55,720 (CHUCKLES) 415 00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:58,640 Course you did, dirty old dog, eh? 416 00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:00,240 - Eh? - Yeah. 417 00:18:00,542 --> 00:18:01,802 (SIGHS) 418 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,741 (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) 419 00:18:05,105 --> 00:18:06,804 Hey! Emma, wait up. 420 00:18:07,367 --> 00:18:08,755 Emma Bone, we up next or what? 421 00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:10,196 - Hey. - SOPHIE: Hey, listen to this. 422 00:18:10,220 --> 00:18:11,640 - WOMAN: Oh, yes! - MAN: Oh! 423 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,062 (RHYTHMIC THUDDING) 424 00:18:13,087 --> 00:18:14,287 Is that on the TV? 425 00:18:14,312 --> 00:18:16,076 (LAUGHS) No, it's in the room next door. 426 00:18:16,101 --> 00:18:17,200 (MOANING CONTINUES) 427 00:18:17,260 --> 00:18:18,360 That can't be real. 428 00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:21,804 (CHUCKLES) You reckon that's what we sounded like last time we were here? 429 00:18:21,829 --> 00:18:23,634 - (CHUCKLES) - (MAN MOANS LOUDLY) 430 00:18:23,659 --> 00:18:26,351 I'm not sure if I've ever quite hit that pitch. 431 00:18:26,376 --> 00:18:27,835 (LAUGHS) 432 00:18:27,860 --> 00:18:29,493 (THUDDING CONTINUES) 433 00:18:29,816 --> 00:18:32,423 - 15 years is a long time, Em. - Yep. 434 00:18:34,803 --> 00:18:36,400 It's been a good 15 years, though. 435 00:18:36,425 --> 00:18:37,611 Yeah. 436 00:18:37,636 --> 00:18:39,692 I mean, I think we've changed, Greg. 437 00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:42,010 - I, um... - (MOANS) 438 00:18:42,035 --> 00:18:47,952 I guess, kids and mortgages and smartphones will do that. 439 00:18:48,741 --> 00:18:53,411 But whenever something exciting, or funny, or... fun happens... 440 00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:54,800 (THUDDING AND MOANING CONTINUES) 441 00:18:55,055 --> 00:18:57,889 you're always the first person that I want to share it with. 442 00:18:58,915 --> 00:19:00,155 (SIGHS) 443 00:19:00,343 --> 00:19:03,391 Why don't you... come to the bar and have a drink with me? 444 00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:07,007 Yeah, I could come to the bar and have a make-up drink, 445 00:19:07,032 --> 00:19:11,183 or... you could come to our room and have make-up... 446 00:19:11,208 --> 00:19:12,348 On my way! 447 00:19:17,004 --> 00:19:18,400 (INSISTENT KNOCKING) 448 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,129 Oh, that was quick. 449 00:19:20,154 --> 00:19:22,014 OK, it's open! 450 00:19:22,564 --> 00:19:24,294 Right. Police, don't move! 451 00:19:26,736 --> 00:19:30,449 Um... yeah... Uh... Oh! You're under arrest. 452 00:19:30,474 --> 00:19:32,885 But you might want to just... 453 00:19:36,862 --> 00:19:38,102 Oh... 454 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,198 You must experience it yourself... 455 00:19:45,223 --> 00:19:47,177 - Apologies for the mix-up. - (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 456 00:19:47,201 --> 00:19:51,417 Once again, Officer, I'm... so sorry you saw my... 457 00:19:51,442 --> 00:19:54,159 Shooting high-end pornography, that's one thing. 458 00:19:54,184 --> 00:19:55,856 Shooting without a permit... 459 00:19:55,881 --> 00:19:59,199 These lowlifes are defrauding the Australian Taxation Office, 460 00:19:59,550 --> 00:20:03,277 which I personally find grotesque. 461 00:20:03,605 --> 00:20:04,449 Yep. 462 00:20:04,474 --> 00:20:06,956 Wouldn't hang around this dive if I were you. 463 00:20:07,735 --> 00:20:09,386 Wank you very much, officer. 464 00:20:11,434 --> 00:20:12,848 Nighty-night. 465 00:20:14,118 --> 00:20:15,658 (BOTH LAUGH) 466 00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,465 (QUIETLY) I did it. I did it! 467 00:20:18,490 --> 00:20:19,675 I said, "Wank you very much." 468 00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:21,035 (LAUGHS) 469 00:20:23,989 --> 00:20:25,629 Do you wanna get out of here? 470 00:20:26,195 --> 00:20:30,555 Maybe come back to my place? My parents are away this weekend. 471 00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:33,160 Oh, so we could do it in a double bed? 472 00:20:33,185 --> 00:20:35,115 - We could totally do that. - Mmm... 473 00:20:35,175 --> 00:20:36,271 Oh, or you could come back to mine 474 00:20:36,295 --> 00:20:38,235 'cause my folks are away for the weekend too. 475 00:20:38,295 --> 00:20:39,355 Sounds perfect. 476 00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:43,434 Oh, but I should warn you that I have two daughters... 477 00:20:43,489 --> 00:20:45,675 well, two beautiful daughters 478 00:20:45,775 --> 00:20:50,768 who are getting taller and smarter and cheekier by the day. 479 00:20:50,793 --> 00:20:52,157 I know what you mean. 480 00:20:52,515 --> 00:20:53,675 And I have these neighbours 481 00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:56,580 who are these loud, in-your-face, brash lunatics, 482 00:20:56,735 --> 00:20:58,151 who just happen to have the biggest hearts, 483 00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,313 and libidos to match, 484 00:20:59,338 --> 00:21:01,898 and they live across the road, but they're big part of our house. 485 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,150 Now that we're being honest, 486 00:21:03,175 --> 00:21:05,655 I may as well tell you that if you come back to my place, 487 00:21:05,695 --> 00:21:06,715 you will find my brother, 488 00:21:06,775 --> 00:21:08,755 who is living with me. 489 00:21:08,780 --> 00:21:10,395 He's been knocked around a bit recently, 490 00:21:10,495 --> 00:21:12,675 but he just keeps getting back on the horse, 491 00:21:12,775 --> 00:21:16,435 and I really hope that he can find what he's looking for. 492 00:21:16,495 --> 00:21:18,068 What's he looking for? 493 00:21:19,173 --> 00:21:20,313 This. 494 00:21:32,495 --> 00:21:33,755 - Hey! - Hey! 495 00:21:34,435 --> 00:21:35,395 Mwah! 496 00:21:35,455 --> 00:21:36,835 Oh, hello! 497 00:21:36,935 --> 00:21:38,235 - Ooh! - Guys... 498 00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:41,290 Uh, this is Nadia. 499 00:21:41,315 --> 00:21:42,395 Hello. 500 00:21:42,455 --> 00:21:44,275 Em and Greg, my brother. 501 00:21:44,375 --> 00:21:45,775 - Ah, your brother? - Brother, yeah. 502 00:21:45,855 --> 00:21:46,991 - How nice. - MARLO: Been a big day. 503 00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:48,015 Good stuff. 504 00:21:48,055 --> 00:21:49,235 TERRY: We almost killed her. 505 00:21:49,335 --> 00:21:51,475 - (LAUGHS) - Not intentionally. 506 00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:53,791 - But she gave us our five stars back. - Who's for some fish and chips? 507 00:21:53,815 --> 00:21:54,815 - Yeah! - Yeah! 508 00:21:55,174 --> 00:21:56,794 Who wants a Grim Lager? 509 00:21:57,435 --> 00:21:58,555 Mmm! 510 00:21:59,075 --> 00:22:01,270 (GAGS) Ooh, bloody hell, Greg! 511 00:22:01,715 --> 00:22:03,475 It tastes like cat's piss. 512 00:22:03,575 --> 00:22:05,226 Oh, well, that's put a dampener on it. 513 00:22:05,251 --> 00:22:06,191 Cheers, everyone! 514 00:22:06,216 --> 00:22:08,726 Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! 515 00:22:09,139 --> 00:22:11,179 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 516 00:22:11,229 --> 00:22:15,779 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36454

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