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We now return to The Last Man on Earth
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Plus These Other 16 People with
More Showing Up Every Day.
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No way they'll pull this off.
5
00:00:41,147 --> 00:00:42,854
A show with just one character
6
00:00:42,856 --> 00:00:44,826
and an unlimited number
of other characters?
7
00:00:44,828 --> 00:00:47,564
Peter, you can't just sit
there and watch TV all day.
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- You have to mow the lawn.
- Aw, this sucks.
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00:00:49,867 --> 00:00:51,575
I was gonna go down
to the Guitar Center
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00:00:51,608 --> 00:00:52,715
and annoy people.
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FYI: My mom's not picking me
up for a long time, because...
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she's dead!
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00:01:11,921 --> 00:01:13,390
Hey, Brian, you want a beer?
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Peter, Lois is gonna be home soon.
15
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Shouldn't you be mowing the lawn?
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I am mowing the lawn.
17
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- Where'd you get these?
- Craigslist.
18
00:01:22,679 --> 00:01:25,182
Boy, that's got to be some long list.
19
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And pool tables and jukeboxes...
20
00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:29,887
Craig, are you getting all this down?
21
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,389
Yes. Is that it?
22
00:01:31,422 --> 00:01:35,426
No! Futons, everyone's
grandfather's golf clubs...
23
00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:36,560
I-Is that it?
24
00:01:36,594 --> 00:01:38,262
No! Gay sex...
25
00:01:38,295 --> 00:01:40,464
- What kind?
- All of it!
26
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,740
I have milked all the goats.
27
00:01:46,742 --> 00:01:48,745
Peter, all those goats are males.
28
00:01:48,747 --> 00:01:51,350
Well, the buckets are full
and the goats are happy.
29
00:01:51,382 --> 00:01:53,584
I just hope word doesn't get around.
30
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I like good times.
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We now return to Top Gun
32
00:02:02,526 --> 00:02:04,495
with only public domain music.
33
00:02:13,203 --> 00:02:16,674
Oh, my God, what the hell
did the goats do in here?
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This place is disgusting!
35
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:19,544
Where's your father?
36
00:02:19,577 --> 00:02:20,713
Peter!
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00:02:28,252 --> 00:02:30,321
Lois is maaaad.
38
00:02:30,354 --> 00:02:32,490
Go to the Claaaam.
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00:02:32,524 --> 00:02:35,894
Peter, I both saw you and
recognized my husband's voice.
40
00:02:35,926 --> 00:02:37,763
Go baaaack.
41
00:02:39,564 --> 00:02:41,365
Lois! I-I didn't know you were home.
42
00:02:41,399 --> 00:02:45,003
Well, I guess we can all agree
this was a great idea. The end.
43
00:02:47,104 --> 00:02:49,340
Enough! My parents will
be here any minute.
44
00:02:49,374 --> 00:02:51,342
You better get this house cleaned up.
45
00:02:51,376 --> 00:02:53,512
Don't worry, Lois. I have a Roomba.
46
00:02:56,981 --> 00:02:58,583
Okay, wait, wait, wait a minute.
47
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It'll... it'll figure it out.
48
00:03:00,618 --> 00:03:03,221
It's learning. That's-that's
part of what it does.
49
00:03:03,253 --> 00:03:05,122
I think it's getting it.
50
00:03:05,156 --> 00:03:07,057
Now she's cookin'.
51
00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:09,293
Hang on to your hat.
52
00:03:09,327 --> 00:03:11,797
Clean floor dead ahead.
53
00:03:11,829 --> 00:03:13,697
Good purchase.
54
00:03:13,731 --> 00:03:15,699
Behold the future.
55
00:03:15,733 --> 00:03:17,269
All right, here it goes.
56
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:19,870
And the battery's dead.
57
00:03:22,607 --> 00:03:24,776
Darling, so wonderful to be here.
58
00:03:24,809 --> 00:03:27,112
Yeah, right. The drive here is like
59
00:03:27,144 --> 00:03:29,780
a counterclockwise trip
around the Monopoly board.
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00:03:29,814 --> 00:03:32,316
He has no paaaants.
61
00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:34,186
Peter, get out of there.
62
00:03:35,953 --> 00:03:37,788
Lois, what's going on here?
63
00:03:37,822 --> 00:03:40,125
Well, I asked Peter to mow the lawn.
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00:03:40,157 --> 00:03:42,281
Will somebody turn off Top Gun?!
65
00:03:43,345 --> 00:03:44,896
So obviously he bought a herd of goats,
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00:03:44,929 --> 00:03:46,965
and now they've taken over the house.
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00:03:46,997 --> 00:03:49,567
Lois, I worry this is not
a healthy environment
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00:03:49,601 --> 00:03:51,470
- for the children.
- Mom, please.
69
00:03:51,502 --> 00:03:54,138
You know I would never put
my children in harm's way.
70
00:03:54,172 --> 00:03:55,639
Oh, boy. AMBER Alert.
71
00:03:55,673 --> 00:03:58,509
Stewie was last seen with a
goat in a '98 Toyota Tercel
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00:03:58,543 --> 00:03:59,911
heading north on I-95.
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00:03:59,943 --> 00:04:01,847
How do you turn those off, by the way?
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00:04:01,879 --> 00:04:03,481
Lois, I've seen enough.
75
00:04:03,515 --> 00:04:06,918
You're completely overwhelmed,
and you have four children.
76
00:04:06,951 --> 00:04:09,153
Four children.
77
00:04:09,186 --> 00:04:11,355
Four children.
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00:04:11,388 --> 00:04:13,455
Four children.
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00:04:13,488 --> 00:04:15,776
Four children.
80
00:04:15,809 --> 00:04:17,862
Four children.
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00:04:17,895 --> 00:04:19,263
Hey!
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00:04:19,297 --> 00:04:20,664
You need help, Lois.
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00:04:20,698 --> 00:04:22,667
And since I don't believe in psychiatry,
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00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:24,683
I'm getting you a nanny.
85
00:04:24,717 --> 00:04:26,371
Well, I guess it would be
good to have some help
86
00:04:26,403 --> 00:04:27,463
with Meg and Chris.
87
00:04:27,497 --> 00:04:29,541
And Stewie, if he's ever found.
88
00:04:32,176 --> 00:04:34,446
Honey, do you think
that's the goat and baby
89
00:04:34,479 --> 00:04:36,948
- from the AMBER alert?
- Uh, it's a Tercel,
90
00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:39,584
but I don't think it's the right year.
91
00:04:46,758 --> 00:04:48,493
That must be the new nanny.
92
00:04:48,525 --> 00:04:50,494
Is this the Griffin house?
93
00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:52,898
Welcome to this work environment.
94
00:04:52,931 --> 00:04:55,300
Oh. I'm not the nanny.
I'm her Uber driver.
95
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:56,868
Your nanny's still in the car.
96
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,669
She dozed off on the way here.
97
00:04:58,703 --> 00:05:00,672
I not doze off, Yoober.
98
00:05:00,705 --> 00:05:03,918
Was looking at crinkled
photos of dead relatives.
99
00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,509
Hello. I am Natalia.
100
00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:07,745
What is favorite breakfast fish?
101
00:05:07,778 --> 00:05:09,880
Well, if you must know...
102
00:05:09,914 --> 00:05:13,252
Welcome to this work environment.
103
00:05:19,792 --> 00:05:21,427
Okay, Natalia, level with me.
104
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:22,795
Why are you really here?
105
00:05:22,828 --> 00:05:25,865
I have been sent to neutralize
liberal Jewish dissident,
106
00:05:25,898 --> 00:05:27,768
Fievel Mousekewitz.
107
00:05:29,802 --> 00:05:31,939
Oh. Well, the only mouse
in this neighborhood is
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00:05:31,972 --> 00:05:33,974
our innocent neighbor, Frank Maxwell.
109
00:05:35,307 --> 00:05:37,139
Comrade Mousekewitz!
110
00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:39,312
Did you think you could run forever?
111
00:05:39,345 --> 00:05:42,148
I, uh, I think you've
got the wrong mouse.
112
00:05:42,182 --> 00:05:44,617
I'm just regular old Frank Maxwell,
113
00:05:44,650 --> 00:05:46,787
and I'm very late for work.
114
00:05:46,819 --> 00:05:48,321
Good day, ma'am.
115
00:05:50,523 --> 00:05:52,492
Whoa! You killed him?
116
00:05:52,525 --> 00:05:53,893
That was not me.
117
00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:55,796
Someone else got to him first.
118
00:05:56,795 --> 00:05:58,975
Tough break, Jew mouse. Ha-ha!
119
00:05:59,695 --> 00:06:00,967
Hi. I'm Peter Griffin.
120
00:06:01,001 --> 00:06:03,804
Under parody law, in order to
use someone else's character
121
00:06:03,836 --> 00:06:06,105
in an unlicensed fashion,
we have to provide
122
00:06:06,138 --> 00:06:07,674
something called "commentary."
123
00:06:07,706 --> 00:06:10,743
The commentary here is that
Mickey Mouse hates Jews.
124
00:06:10,776 --> 00:06:14,614
Now, let's see what else this
new nanny has up her sleeve.
125
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:21,955
Okay, Stewie, this is favorite
Belarusian children book
126
00:06:21,987 --> 00:06:25,291
called Goodnight Moon of Chernobyl.
127
00:06:25,324 --> 00:06:27,360
"Goodnight Chernobyl moon.
128
00:06:27,393 --> 00:06:30,017
Goodnight radiation house.
129
00:06:30,049 --> 00:06:32,165
Goodnight melted phone.
130
00:06:32,198 --> 00:06:34,434
Goodnight glowing milk.
131
00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:37,371
Goodnight bleeding grandpa's eyes.
132
00:06:37,403 --> 00:06:39,839
Goodnight two-headed cat.
133
00:06:39,872 --> 00:06:42,009
Goodnight nobody.
134
00:06:42,042 --> 00:06:45,946
Goodnight blocks and blocks
and blocks of nobody.
135
00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:47,780
The end."
136
00:06:47,814 --> 00:06:49,383
Next book.
137
00:06:49,415 --> 00:06:51,184
Everybody Poops...
138
00:06:51,218 --> 00:06:52,987
Blood.
139
00:06:56,789 --> 00:06:58,926
I'll get started on dinner.
140
00:07:01,093 --> 00:07:02,562
No need to start dinner.
141
00:07:02,595 --> 00:07:04,897
Homework is done. Kids are fed.
142
00:07:04,930 --> 00:07:07,423
You two should go out and
have lovely evening.
143
00:07:07,483 --> 00:07:10,620
- Together?
- Yes. Everything taken care of.
144
00:07:10,652 --> 00:07:13,250
Go out. Enjoy American freedom.
145
00:07:13,283 --> 00:07:14,563
What do you say, Peter?
146
00:07:14,596 --> 00:07:16,792
Eh, it could be fun. And
we haven't been on a date
147
00:07:16,825 --> 00:07:18,160
since I broke the Guinness record
148
00:07:18,193 --> 00:07:20,904
for longest nasal exhale
at that Tina Fey movie.
149
00:07:20,938 --> 00:07:23,967
You're the baby mama?
Well, that's no bueno.
150
00:07:39,015 --> 00:07:40,116
Hello. I'm Steve.
151
00:07:40,149 --> 00:07:41,651
I'll be your server this evening.
152
00:07:41,683 --> 00:07:43,323
May I start you off with a cocktail?
153
00:07:46,522 --> 00:07:47,923
You don't work here, do you?
154
00:07:47,957 --> 00:07:49,177
I do not.
155
00:07:49,858 --> 00:07:51,493
Oh, this is nice.
156
00:07:51,527 --> 00:07:53,163
So, how's work?
157
00:07:53,195 --> 00:07:54,664
Good.
158
00:07:56,366 --> 00:07:57,834
How, uh...
159
00:07:57,866 --> 00:08:00,102
how's the stuff you
do during your day?
160
00:08:00,135 --> 00:08:01,804
- Good.
- Good.
161
00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:04,673
So... is that it?
162
00:08:04,707 --> 00:08:07,344
Did we do a date? Phones back on?
163
00:08:07,377 --> 00:08:09,646
Peter, we finally have
a chance to reconnect.
164
00:08:09,678 --> 00:08:11,214
We've been given this opportunity.
165
00:08:11,246 --> 00:08:12,815
It's like before we had kids.
166
00:08:12,849 --> 00:08:14,718
We got to make the most of it.
167
00:08:14,751 --> 00:08:16,052
H-Hang on, hang on, Lois.
168
00:08:16,084 --> 00:08:18,455
Give me two of those round balls
of butter and a breadstick.
169
00:08:18,488 --> 00:08:19,888
You'll see where I'm
heading with this.
170
00:08:19,921 --> 00:08:23,026
Okay, look, look, look.
Here's what you want.
171
00:08:23,059 --> 00:08:25,028
Here's what you got.
172
00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:27,196
I'm very happy with what I got.
173
00:08:27,229 --> 00:08:31,091
Hmm. Well, maybe I can give
you half a breadstick later.
174
00:08:31,124 --> 00:08:34,304
As long as you don't mind a
little marinara dipping sauce.
175
00:08:34,336 --> 00:08:36,565
That's absolutely disgusting.
176
00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:37,873
And I love it.
177
00:08:37,906 --> 00:08:40,377
You know what? I like date night.
178
00:08:40,410 --> 00:08:42,546
To Natalia, for making it possible.
179
00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:45,682
Pretty sure that's Steve's pee.
180
00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:47,340
Enjoying your wine?
181
00:08:52,955 --> 00:08:55,227
Oh, what an amazing night.
182
00:08:55,259 --> 00:08:58,227
I told you we could have a fun
time, just the two of us.
183
00:08:58,261 --> 00:09:00,230
Fun's not over yet.
184
00:09:01,945 --> 00:09:03,432
Come on, let's get in the trunk.
185
00:09:03,465 --> 00:09:06,402
I filled it with water so
we can do it hippo-style.
186
00:09:06,435 --> 00:09:07,737
Weightlessly,
187
00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:10,406
with my feet lightly scraping
the bottom as we do it.
188
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,709
Okay. It's kind of sexy, I guess.
189
00:09:12,742 --> 00:09:14,577
And in the hippo tradition,
190
00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:16,912
first we must eat a
whole head of lettuce.
191
00:09:16,945 --> 00:09:20,783
- Now, do you have the lettuce?
- I-I didn't know we were doing this.
192
00:09:20,816 --> 00:09:22,418
Did you bring the lettuce?
193
00:09:22,451 --> 00:09:23,753
Oh, no, I forgot.
194
00:09:23,786 --> 00:09:25,921
Ronald, I asked you to do one thing.
195
00:09:25,955 --> 00:09:28,458
Honey, honey... I brought the lettuce.
196
00:09:33,662 --> 00:09:35,063
So thanks to Natalia,
197
00:09:35,097 --> 00:09:37,267
we've been spending so
much more time together.
198
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,736
Let me tell you, Joe, it's
really been a rediscovery.
199
00:09:39,768 --> 00:09:41,811
- Hmm.
- Joe, "we time"
200
00:09:41,845 --> 00:09:44,681
- is just as important as "me time."
- Okay.
201
00:09:44,775 --> 00:09:47,042
We've actually been watching
The Middle together.
202
00:09:47,075 --> 00:09:50,088
It's so funny! Isn't it funny, Peter?
203
00:09:50,121 --> 00:09:52,114
It is actually funny. At
least three times an episode
204
00:09:52,147 --> 00:09:54,117
we turn to each other and we say,
205
00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:55,819
"That's just like us!"
206
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,655
Why are you laughing?
207
00:09:58,687 --> 00:10:01,156
- It sounded funny.
- But you had to be there.
208
00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:03,493
Well, I was able to
imagine myself there,
209
00:10:03,526 --> 00:10:05,228
which is why I chuckled.
210
00:10:05,261 --> 00:10:07,564
Oh, and, Donna, have you
seen this Black-ish?
211
00:10:07,597 --> 00:10:09,632
- Why are you asking me that?
- I don't know.
212
00:10:09,665 --> 00:10:11,733
It seems like you might like it.
213
00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:15,011
Oh, and, waiter, have you
seen this Fresh Off the Boat?
214
00:10:15,044 --> 00:10:16,940
- Why are you asking me that?
- I don't know.
215
00:10:16,973 --> 00:10:18,641
It seems like you might like it.
216
00:10:18,674 --> 00:10:19,843
Oh, there's Mort. Mort!
217
00:10:19,876 --> 00:10:22,312
Have you seen this The Goldbergs?
218
00:10:22,344 --> 00:10:24,733
Yes! I like it 'cause I'm Jewish.
219
00:10:27,883 --> 00:10:30,905
Boy, our friends all seem
to be happily married.
220
00:10:31,854 --> 00:10:33,790
Yeah, right.
221
00:10:33,823 --> 00:10:35,458
You know, Donna told
me in the bathroom
222
00:10:35,490 --> 00:10:37,159
she and Cleveland haven't had sex
223
00:10:37,192 --> 00:10:38,327
in over three months.
224
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,528
I love that you share things
225
00:10:39,561 --> 00:10:41,263
that were told to you in confidence.
226
00:10:41,296 --> 00:10:43,766
- Oh, and the poor Swansons.
- I know.
227
00:10:43,799 --> 00:10:45,268
Joe's dead from the waist down,
228
00:10:45,301 --> 00:10:46,835
and Bonnie's dead from the waist up.
229
00:10:46,868 --> 00:10:48,204
They're perfect for each other.
230
00:10:48,237 --> 00:10:50,707
I know, I know.
231
00:10:50,739 --> 00:10:52,674
I got to say, Peter,
I really feel like
232
00:10:52,708 --> 00:10:54,511
Natalia has helped put the spark back
233
00:10:54,544 --> 00:10:55,979
in our relationship.
234
00:10:56,012 --> 00:10:58,387
Yeah, we even had
independent movie sex.
235
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:02,451
I want to lean over this
half-eaten blueberry pie
236
00:11:02,484 --> 00:11:04,686
and kiss you with black coffee breath.
237
00:11:04,719 --> 00:11:06,374
- Is that okay?
- Yes.
238
00:11:09,892 --> 00:11:12,295
Now, can I do you to a song you know,
239
00:11:12,328 --> 00:11:13,730
but sung in German?
240
00:11:28,076 --> 00:11:31,513
Hello? I see.
241
00:11:31,546 --> 00:11:32,796
What is it?
242
00:11:32,829 --> 00:11:34,610
I've been assassinated.
243
00:11:44,093 --> 00:11:46,029
Wow, what a night.
244
00:11:46,061 --> 00:11:49,331
I guess someone's sleep number is 69.
245
00:11:49,364 --> 00:11:52,734
Uh, yes. It was, apparently,
also number two.
246
00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:55,186
Would you maybe make some
coffee and give me a moment?
247
00:11:56,104 --> 00:11:58,340
Car is packed for weekend.
248
00:11:58,373 --> 00:11:59,676
- Weekend?
- Yes.
249
00:11:59,709 --> 00:12:01,344
You come in late last night drunk
250
00:12:01,377 --> 00:12:03,880
and tell me to pack car
for weekend getaway
251
00:12:03,912 --> 00:12:05,181
you book online.
252
00:12:05,214 --> 00:12:08,184
Then you make me watch
Diff'rent Strokes episode
253
00:12:08,216 --> 00:12:11,856
with substitute teacher played
by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
254
00:12:12,588 --> 00:12:14,457
You know, I forgot about
this weekend trip.
255
00:12:14,489 --> 00:12:16,426
I-Is that something
we still want to do?
256
00:12:16,459 --> 00:12:17,960
Well, I do if you do.
257
00:12:17,993 --> 00:12:20,195
Absolutely I do... I-I was
just seeing if you do.
258
00:12:20,229 --> 00:12:21,797
Of course I do.
259
00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:24,399
I mean, we've already had
six nights out together.
260
00:12:24,432 --> 00:12:26,397
It'd be great to have three more.
261
00:12:26,430 --> 00:12:27,436
That's what I'm saying.
262
00:12:27,469 --> 00:12:28,971
That-That's what any guy wants,
263
00:12:29,004 --> 00:12:31,740
the same gal again and again and again
264
00:12:31,773 --> 00:12:34,109
and again and again
and again and again
265
00:12:34,142 --> 00:12:36,613
and again and again
and again and again
266
00:12:36,646 --> 00:12:38,548
and again and again, and again.
267
00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:40,916
And every gal wants the
same guy who keeps
268
00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:43,585
getting fatter and fatter
and fatter and fatter...
269
00:12:43,618 --> 00:12:45,421
Stop it right there, Lois.
This is Family Guy.
270
00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:47,489
We only do the male side of the joke.
271
00:12:48,465 --> 00:12:51,227
You know what? I think
this weekend will be fun.
272
00:12:51,259 --> 00:12:52,594
Yeah. I mean, it's
not like we're gonna
273
00:12:52,628 --> 00:12:54,129
miss anything around here.
274
00:12:58,533 --> 00:13:00,068
Hey, Joe, what the
hell's going on here?
275
00:13:00,102 --> 00:13:02,271
Oh, you didn't hear?
Today is the opening
276
00:13:02,304 --> 00:13:05,440
of the first-ever Spooner
Street Farmers Market.
277
00:13:05,474 --> 00:13:08,110
Farmers...
278
00:13:08,143 --> 00:13:10,812
market?
279
00:13:10,845 --> 00:13:12,481
Yeah, it's really exciting.
280
00:13:12,514 --> 00:13:14,616
For 50 cents, you can
get your picture taken
281
00:13:14,650 --> 00:13:16,319
wearing a farmer's hat.
282
00:13:16,352 --> 00:13:19,322
Farmer's...
283
00:13:19,354 --> 00:13:21,690
hat?
284
00:13:21,724 --> 00:13:23,660
Hey, have a great weekend, you two.
285
00:13:23,692 --> 00:13:27,029
So glad you're finding
time for each other.
286
00:13:30,733 --> 00:13:32,001
Goat meat.
287
00:13:32,033 --> 00:13:33,669
Get your goat meat here.
288
00:13:33,703 --> 00:13:35,171
- Cleveland, are those...
- Yep.
289
00:13:35,204 --> 00:13:37,006
I have dibs on whatever silliness
290
00:13:37,038 --> 00:13:38,707
Peter loses interest in.
291
00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:39,875
Remember this?
292
00:13:39,908 --> 00:13:42,044
To the Cleveland copter!
293
00:13:44,012 --> 00:13:46,114
The moustache obscures my view!
294
00:13:55,532 --> 00:13:56,934
Oh, another hawk.
295
00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:58,303
Or maybe it's the same one.
296
00:13:58,336 --> 00:13:59,804
You think it could be the same one?
297
00:13:59,837 --> 00:14:00,892
Doubt it.
298
00:14:01,705 --> 00:14:02,973
Hey, do you have the address?
299
00:14:03,006 --> 00:14:04,809
I think it's in my
pocketbook somewhere.
300
00:14:04,842 --> 00:14:07,345
'Cause I got to know if
we should take 24 or 495.
301
00:14:07,377 --> 00:14:08,723
Hang on.
302
00:14:09,847 --> 00:14:11,876
- Anything?
- Hang on.
303
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:14,253
Exit's coming up.
304
00:14:15,386 --> 00:14:16,814
Half a mile.
305
00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:20,859
Quarter mile.
306
00:14:20,891 --> 00:14:22,160
You'd think I could find it.
307
00:14:22,193 --> 00:14:23,528
Yeah, yeah, I would.
308
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,296
I would. Okay, I'm taking 495.
309
00:14:26,329 --> 00:14:28,432
Okay, uh, here, let me see if it's...
310
00:14:28,466 --> 00:14:31,503
Oh, this is why I don't
like big purses.
311
00:14:31,535 --> 00:14:34,972
Here it is. It says take 24 to 128.
312
00:14:55,559 --> 00:14:56,895
Hey, look, cookies.
313
00:14:56,928 --> 00:14:58,697
- Chocolate chip?
- Oatmeal raisin.
314
00:15:00,363 --> 00:15:03,734
Ah, I guess they stopped
serving dinner at 9:30.
315
00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:06,336
Looks like that missed
exit had the last laugh.
316
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:07,639
Oh, look at this cute note.
317
00:15:07,671 --> 00:15:08,872
"In lieu of television,
318
00:15:08,905 --> 00:15:10,974
please tune in to each other."
319
00:15:11,007 --> 00:15:14,244
- Ha-ha.
- Ha-ha, indeed. And get this.
320
00:15:14,277 --> 00:15:16,380
"Sorry no Wi-Fi, but the good news is
321
00:15:16,414 --> 00:15:18,183
your marriage has four bars."
322
00:15:18,216 --> 00:15:20,584
- Terrific.
- Oh, here's another note.
323
00:15:20,617 --> 00:15:22,753
"How adorable were
those first two notes?
324
00:15:22,786 --> 00:15:24,488
I hope you read this one third."
325
00:15:24,521 --> 00:15:26,724
There's a used condom
in the fireplace.
326
00:15:26,757 --> 00:15:28,192
And the fireplace is decorative,
327
00:15:28,226 --> 00:15:29,394
so that's here to stay.
328
00:15:29,426 --> 00:15:30,894
So, do you think word just got out
329
00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:32,497
in the daddy longlegs community, like,
330
00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:33,898
"Hey, come to this hotel"?
331
00:15:33,930 --> 00:15:35,365
Peter, it's a little warm in here.
332
00:15:35,399 --> 00:15:37,702
Do you want to turn on
that overhead ceiling fan?
333
00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:38,870
Sure. Looks stable.
334
00:15:41,939 --> 00:15:43,742
- Can you notice that?
- Yeah.
335
00:15:43,775 --> 00:15:45,944
Can you notice anything in
the world other than that?
336
00:15:45,977 --> 00:15:49,213
Only that fist-sized moth in
the lampshade by the bed.
337
00:15:49,247 --> 00:15:52,284
I'm going to bed so that "go
home time" comes faster.
338
00:16:03,345 --> 00:16:05,416
I'll just sleep with the light on.
339
00:16:10,767 --> 00:16:13,271
Natalia, will you be
our nanny forever?
340
00:16:13,304 --> 00:16:15,472
Dah, unless Belarus security force
341
00:16:15,506 --> 00:16:17,608
- track me down.
- I'm sorry, what?
342
00:16:17,641 --> 00:16:19,444
Natalia make a few enemies
343
00:16:19,477 --> 00:16:21,747
before she leave Belarus.
344
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:32,156
Natalia save baby.
345
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,630
- Brian?
- Lock door.
346
00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:39,664
Why would I...
347
00:16:39,697 --> 00:16:40,999
Brian!
348
00:16:44,501 --> 00:16:46,004
No kissing. Under bed.
349
00:16:55,779 --> 00:16:59,016
Aah!
350
00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:04,823
Out.
351
00:17:07,557 --> 00:17:08,826
Boy, that was a close one.
352
00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:10,862
Ah, my son was in the backseat.
353
00:17:59,276 --> 00:18:00,578
Daddy?
354
00:18:09,887 --> 00:18:11,054
Where are we going?
355
00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:12,489
You're going home.
356
00:18:12,523 --> 00:18:14,393
Count to three and pull cord.
357
00:18:16,593 --> 00:18:19,698
I don't know my numbers!
358
00:18:26,984 --> 00:18:28,691
Again! Again!
359
00:18:37,281 --> 00:18:39,183
- Oh. This.
- What?
360
00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:40,718
That mealy-mouth thing you do.
361
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:41,852
Take a sip of water.
362
00:18:41,885 --> 00:18:43,520
I don't like water. I like pop.
363
00:18:43,554 --> 00:18:45,122
Hey, will you let me
know when you're done
364
00:18:45,156 --> 00:18:46,758
using the phone charger
that I brought?
365
00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:48,426
Oh, you mean the only
thing that you packed?
366
00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:50,093
Yeah, I just assumed if you pay,
367
00:18:50,127 --> 00:18:51,763
- you don't have to pack.
- Here we go.
368
00:18:51,795 --> 00:18:53,096
My husband, the Rockefeller,
369
00:18:53,130 --> 00:18:55,099
letting my parents pay for the nanny.
370
00:18:55,131 --> 00:18:56,601
Kids still lining up around the block
371
00:18:56,633 --> 00:18:57,901
for those piano lessons?
372
00:18:57,935 --> 00:18:59,437
I wonder which has more clutter on it,
373
00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:00,737
the piano or your treadmill.
374
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:02,139
You know what? I'm gonna
go with the treadmill.
375
00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:04,741
Really? Let's go knock on
the door of the next room
376
00:19:04,775 --> 00:19:06,576
and ask them which one of us is fat.
377
00:19:06,610 --> 00:19:08,913
Oh, I'm so sorry I'm
not Bradley Hooper.
378
00:19:08,946 --> 00:19:10,214
It's Cooper, not Hooper.
379
00:19:10,247 --> 00:19:12,382
You're thinking of Mr.
Hooper from Sesame Street,
380
00:19:12,416 --> 00:19:13,718
and I'd sooner bang him.
381
00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:16,153
He was a business owner.
He was a successful man.
382
00:19:16,187 --> 00:19:18,055
You think you're the only
one in this relationship
383
00:19:18,089 --> 00:19:19,657
who wants to be with a successful man?
384
00:19:19,689 --> 00:19:20,700
Get over yourself.
385
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,160
Oh, hey, do you want these
spit droplets back,
386
00:19:22,192 --> 00:19:23,460
Or are they for my arm to keep?
387
00:19:23,494 --> 00:19:25,763
Sorry, I was trying to scare
that fly on your hand.
388
00:19:25,795 --> 00:19:27,164
Oh, it's a liver spot. Never mind.
389
00:19:27,198 --> 00:19:29,683
I'm hoping it's cancer.
I want the ticket out.
390
00:19:29,716 --> 00:19:31,669
Oh, if you die, can I
have all of your nothing?
391
00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:33,136
What do you mean if I die?
392
00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:35,506
I've been dead since the
minute I said "I do"!
393
00:19:35,538 --> 00:19:36,974
Well, the minute you say "I don't,"
394
00:19:37,007 --> 00:19:38,241
I am out that door.
395
00:19:38,275 --> 00:19:40,844
- Oh, is that right?
- Yep.
396
00:19:40,878 --> 00:19:43,147
Well, what if I just said,
"The hell with it, go"?
397
00:19:43,179 --> 00:19:44,331
What if you did?
398
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:46,984
Go.
399
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:48,712
Fine!
400
00:20:43,073 --> 00:20:44,676
So, how was the trip?
402
00:20:53,083 --> 00:20:54,119
Just terrible.
28631
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