Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there's no place like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with the same old ways.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

No place like home With your family around you You're never alone When you

know that you love You don't need to roam Cause there ain't no place like

ain't no place like There ain't no place

like There's no place like home I mean no place like

Hey, baby.

Well, hi, honey. What are you doing home so early?

Are we alone?

Lester, you romantic devil.

Mary, I'm not here for romance.

This is important.

You're going to think romance is important when you don't get any for the

six months.

Listen, I've got somebody outside, somebody you're going to be very excited

meet. A divorce lawyer?

Look, we're going to have a house guest for the next two days, and it happens to

be somebody who's very, very famous.

The most famous person you know is Charlie the Tuna.

This is the partner in the new shopping center I'm going to build, and if word

gets out that a big name is involved, I'll send the price of the land right up

through the roof, and the deal will be off.

That big a name? One of the biggest of superstars. Now, it's a top secret, and

you cannot tell a soul.

Well, for heaven's sakes, who is it? Just wait a minute.

Mister!

A big superstar.

I'm going to tell Rose.

He said not to tell anybody.

Couldn't admit Rose.

Especially Rose.

A big superstar.

Who could it be?

A big superstar.

Come on, come on, come on.

I want you to meet my wife, Mary.

Hello. I'm very honored to meet you, Miss, uh...

Uh, would you excuse us?

Who is it, Miss America of 1890?

It's a disguise, baby.

A disguise?

Well, what in the world does she need with a disguise? Who's going to

her?

Right here.

Very neat. Marvelous Marvin Hagler.

I never shake hands until I hear bells.

I'm only kidding.

Oh, this is such a thrill.

Charlie, let's get up. You could get some good senior citizen discounts.

Why do you think I thought of it?

Come on, champ. Let me show you to your room.

Right this way.

And remember, it's a secret. Oh, Lester.

Hi, child.

Guess who's in my house?

Marvelous Marvin Hagler.

He is.

I'm not lying.

Lester just took him back to the room.

Can you feel it?

Marvelous Marvin Hagler in my house, child.

All right.

Give me.

Listen, now whoever this is... I had

to tell somebody.

Here you go, chap.

More whipped cream.

More coffee, Marvin? No, thank you. Yeah, more dessert? Here, take mine.

Everything's fine.

I'm sorry I took your girls' rooms.

Oh, no, we want you to have our room.

Child, you don't know how happy they are you were in their room.

And I've always been one of your biggest fans, Marvin.

You mean I can have your room, too?

Your boxing record is remarkable.

67 fights, 62 wins, 52 knockouts.

Are you a boxing fan, Alexandria?

No, I just looked it up in the encyclopedia. Actually, I've never heard

Alexandria.

You'll have to forgive our resident genius.

Well, it's not my fault the Wall Street Journal doesn't cover sports.

Just what the doctor ordered.

And you should be in training. Let me have your dessert.

Alexandria, in a minute I'm going to give you something and it's not going to

dessert. I'm sorry.

You know, you learned a lot about sports considering the short time you've lived

with us.

Yeah, pretty soon she'll know more than Howard Cosell. Who doesn't?

Now, I want you girls to remember that it's very important that no one knows

Hagler is here.

Yeah, and one more thing. This man is here on business, so let's not be

pestering him with a whole lot of questions, okay?

And what about that time in Las Vegas when you fought Thomas Hitman Hearns?

Could the brother punch or what?

Man, he hit me with the hardest punch I ever felt. You're jiving.

Let's put it this way. Before he hit me, I had hair.

Would you come to bed and let the poor man get some sleep?

In a minute, Mary. That's what you said two hours ago. And you're keeping the

kids up, too.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

52 knockouts.

Knockout Mr.

Jenkins so we can sleep.

Good morning, Mary.

Good morning.

Well, what would you like for breakfast? Oh, I'll just have whatever everybody

else had.

Well, now, Lester had eggs, Brenda had pancakes, Alexandria had oatmeal, and I

had a waffle.

Okay, that sounds fine.

What are you doing? Trying to become a heavyweight? Yeah, maybe I get to fight

Mike Tyson.

I wonder who that is.

Well, pour yourself a gallon of orange juice. I'll be right back.

Mary came by a little early in case you needed help setting up.

Setting up? What are you talking about? The meeting. What else?

Oh, my God. The women's auxiliary meeting. And all the excitement I

forgot. Excitement? What excitement?

Did I say excitement? Yes.

Oh, I'm that same old doll life.

Doll, doll, doll.

That's probably why I forgot. Everything is so boring.

Mary, are you all right?

Of course I'm all right. Do me a favor.

Go downstairs and wait for the ladies. You know, see that they get up here

Oh, Mary, they've been here a thousand times. That's no reason to get confused.

If you don't mind, I think I'll shower before I have breakfast.

Oh, good idea.

And take your time.

Was it okay if I get a cup of coffee? I really need it.

Rough morning?

Rough night.

I forgot my paper.

Mary, I found the ladies. They were all downstairs waiting.

Sit down, Rose.

Sit down, ladies.

Come here, everybody.

Sit, sit, sit, sit.

Meeting will now come to order. Is there any old business, any new business? The

chair will now entertain a motion to adjourn.

Slow down.

I have a point of order.

What is it, Pearl?

Well, now, this is supposed to be a breakfast meeting, right?

Well, where's the breakfast?

Pearl, that is not a point of order. Oh, yes, it is.

I want to know at what point...

Mary, you did say breakfast.

Breakfast? Okay, you want breakfast?

Mary,

what is this?

It's French toast rose.

It's just plain bread.

Well, eat it and I'll do the can -can.

Well, do you have any coffee?

At least give us some coffee.

Hey, coffee.

Rose, would you go in the kitchen and make some coffee?

Instant coffee.

Well, do I have time to add water? You want us to just suck on the bread?

Excuse me, just where are you going?

Well, if you must know, I'm going to the powder room. You can't go in there.

Mary, I gotta.

Just had to have a cup of coffee, didn't you?

Can we get on with the meeting?

Right. Do I hear a motion to adjourn?

Adjourn? I second the motion.

Mary, we haven't even had the old business yet.

I got some old business. How about it, Mary?

You can't go in there.

Why not?

Because, um, um, uh, Lester is taking a shower.

I'll just go home.

Well, I think we should all go home. Suddenly I don't feel so welcome around

here. I hate to eat and run.

Anybody got any meat to go with this bread?

Pearl.

I'm sorry, Pearl. I'll fix you a big breakfast next meeting, okay?

Uh -huh.

Don't bother, Mary. We'll be too busy electing a new president.

Bye,

ladies. See you later.

Bye, y 'all.

I can't believe how Mary was acting at that meeting.

You know, she acted like she was hiding something.

She is hiding something, all right.

And I know what it is.

Yes, the food.

Lester isn't taking a shower. I saw Lester leave for work this morning.

Well, I don't get it. I mean, if Lester went... Sandra, what are you saying?

Somebody else is in that show.

Mary got a man in there.

I don't believe it.

Rose, if Leonard Bernstein tells you something about music, you can believe

that. If Albert Einstein tells you something about physics, you can believe

that. Well, if Sandra Clark tells you something about a man in an apartment,

can believe that.

What in the world is going on?

Well, Mary, it's obvious from the way you were acting at the meeting that you

aren't feeling well.

So we thought we'd come over and clean your apartment for you. That's right,

we're not going to stop until we clean up the dirt.

Rose, this is not necessary.

Pearl, you take the kitchen. I'll start out here. All righty.

Rose.

Now, what's going on?

Well, I don't know what you mean.

I think you and Pearl are spying on me.

Mary,

that's a terrible thing to say, and I'm crushed.

Well, lover boy wasn't in the kitchen.

Whoa. But there's enough food in there to choke a mule.

And whoever it is, that man sure is eating food.

Mary.

Well, that's for me. I just felt like a big breakfast.

Mary. think we came from? The International House of Stupidity?

Mary?

Well, can you keep a big secret? Cross my heart, Lester will never hear it from

me. Oh, Lester already knows.

Did you hear that?

Yeah, she said Lester already knows.

So you pay attention.

No, it's not that. Lester has a business associate staying with us, and he's a

big celebrity, and we just don't want the word to leak out.

Who is it?

I can't tell you. I took a solemn oath.

Oh, Mary, can't you give us a hint?

Rose, I cannot in good conscience give you a hint. I know you want to argue

about that, but I am not going to haggle with you because I am not a haggler.

Oh, well, guess I know where I stand.

Come along, Pearl. Did you hear me, Rose? I said I am not going to spar with

because I'm in your corner.

You're the champ. I heard you, Mary, and I can't take a hint. Now we're leaving.

Frost, pay attention.

I am not going to haggle with you because I am not a haggler. Mayor, you

ticking me off.

And pretending you're crazy is not going to make me change my mind. Come on,

Pearl, we're leaving. Frost, Frost.

Check out the footwork.

She's not pretending, Rose.

The child is really flipping out.

You're just...

Too marvelous, too marvelous for words.

Hey, they're playing my song.

Hey, ladies.

It's Marvin Hagler!

Now, remember, ladies, this is our secret.

If Marvin's fans finds out he's here, they'll be all over the place, and

Lester's big deal will fall through. Oh, Mary, you can count on us.

Well, guess I better get upstairs and fry this chicken.

See you, Pearl. Okay.

Yeah, I'm going up, too.

And watch out for Sandra, because she got more tricks than Halloween.

She ain't going to get nothing out of me.

Hi, pal.

What do you mean by that?

Well, I didn't mean anything. I just said hi.

Oh. By the way, did you and Rose ever find out what Mary's big secret is?

Well, I know one thing. She ain't got no big boxing shabbing up there with her.

Well, if she did have a big boxing champion stand with her, who would it

I haven't the slightest idea.

But I bet you it wouldn't be Marvis Marvin Hagler.

Can you think of anything else you want from the store?

No.

Um, just those things on this list should do it. Okay.

I should be back in about an hour.

Make that a week.

I thought she'd never leave.

and meet your new sparring partner.

Well, hello there.

Hi, I'm Marvelous Marvin Hagler. Yeah, the prize fighter.

That's right.

Who are you?

I'm the prize.

Sensational 500 o 'clock. That's me.

Is that the name you fight under?

No, that's the name I date under.

I see you brought your boxing gloves.

Mm -hmm.

I don't go anywhere without them. I just love the sport.

Have you ever done any boxing yourself?

I've done a lot more wrestling.

But that's similar.

Oh, no, not entirely.

Now, when you won your big bout, they gave you a belt.

When I lost my big bout, I got a diamond necklace.

I had to get my belt back.

Oh, well, don't feel bad, sugar.

Do me a favor.

Don't call me sugar.

Oh, well, I'll just call you Chad.

Yeah, I appreciate it.

Okay. But that's just until our first date.

Then what happens?

You'll be calling me Chad.

Mom, it just so happens I got Saturday night free.

Sandra, I'd love to take you out, but I don't think I could swing it.

I'll tell you what, I'll box you for it.

You won't box me for it? A date?

Mm -hmm.

Well, we could wrestle for it, but...

Then you wouldn't stand a chance.

Now go to your corner.

Now, here are the rules.

You can't hit, you can only block. If I land one punch, I win.

Okay, you're on.

Sandra,

I'm a pro, and you wouldn't be able to touch me.

If we don't go out on the dates, you wouldn't be able to touch me.

You're hitting me.

Oh,

thank you, Betty.

And I figure a completion date is sometime next summer.

So how's the geometry homework coming?

Like the construction business.

What do you mean? I figure a completion date sometime around next summer.

Would you like for me to help you, Brenda? I can feed it into my computer.

Would you really do that for me? Of course I would, for $5.

$5?

You're lucky it's not calculus. It would be 15.

Alexandria!

Hey, I'm giving you the student rate.

Never mind, I'll do it myself, you little shrimp.

Well, if you need me, I'll be in my office.

Oh, where's Alexandria?

In Egypt, I hope.

Brenda.

You guys still talking business?

We're just wrapping it up.

We just closed the deal on this land.

I'm sorry we let your little secret out.

We let your little secret out.

It's all right.

You did better than most people.

But once my fans find out I'm here, this place is really going to be jumping.

I bet that can be pretty hectic.

Hello?

Yeah?

You're kidding!

Just a minute, I'll ask him. You want to be on the Geraldo show?

I'm sorry, he said no thank you.

Just a moment. Does anybody want to be on the Geraldo show?

Well, I guess we told all our secrets.

Hope you don't mind us dropping in, but we baked a cake in honor of Mr. Hagler's

last night.

Come on, I got chocolate.

Hello.

Washington Post.

No, he's not here. And while I got you on the phone, why was my paper so late

today?

Hi, this is my date for Saturday night. He's agreed to break it if he can meet

Marvelous Marvin.

Ah, somebody call a plumber?

I know. You have the wrong apartment. Well, as long as I'm here, I might as

check out the champ.

I mean, the joint.

No, he's not here, and neither are we.

You get it.

Hi, Mrs. Jenkins. Is my grandmother here? Yes, she is, Calvin, and we have

company. Hi, Mary.

I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by.

With your camera around your neck?

Well, you never know when you might run into a photo opportunity.

I know what you two are up to, and no, you can't come in.

Please, Mrs. Jenkins, it's important that I see Grandma.

I want to see Grandma, too.

You know, I was there when Grandma beat Roberto Duran.

No kidding?

At the program right here.

Hey, maybe I'll get it assigned for you.

Oh, that's what I was hoping.

No. Oh, come on, Mary.

We want to see Grandma.

You just couldn't keep the secret, could you?

I wonder which house it is.

It's this one. Thanks, mister.

Well, how do you like having a celebrity for a house guest now?

To tell you the truth, I'm glad it's out in the open.

The pressure was beginning to get to me.

I almost lost all my friends.

Well, you got a whole house full of new ones in there now.

Excuse me, folks.

Marvin.

Marvin.

Yeah, it's me.

All the confusion in there. I didn't think nobody would miss me. So you're

leaving.

Yeah. Thanks for putting me up.

Anytime. Uh, sometime.

Where's Marvin?

Has anybody seen Marvin?

Excuse me, ladies.

a bald -headed man running around... Ooh, Marvin, what happened to you?

I gotta get out of town.

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to break our date for Saturday night.

Oh, okay, I understand.

Well, come on, I'll take you to the airport.

Oh, no, that's all right, Lester, I'll take him. It's about an hour from here,

so that'll give me time to straighten him out.

Where's Marvin?

There it goes.

Mom! Hey, Mom! Mom!

Mom!