Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there's no place like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with those same old ways.

Pulling together.

We'll make it right, with help from our friends, I know we can fly, cause

there's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone, we know that love, you

need to roam, cause there ain't no place like home.

I mean, no place, child.

Last time on 227.

Hi, Mary.

Mary, Lester said you knew where the sweet and low was.

I'm over here.

Did you always want to become a teacher? You know, I think if I hadn't become a

teacher, I'd probably be stopping people on the street correcting their long

divisions. I love it.

You have an amazing way of putting things.

And you have the most adorable smile.

And you have the most essential with eyes.

This could go on all night.

With any luck, it might.

Starting next week, I'm no longer going to be a teacher. I'm going to be an

executive at McGrath Computer Company. You're taking the job.

Congratulations, you old money bag.

I'm tired of losing out on things because I'm living on a teacher's

I want to enjoy my life, and I want you to enjoy it with me.

So, how was everything?

Wonderful.

We're getting married.

And now, part two.

Just think, in two weeks, you two will be an old married couple.

So where are you going on your honeymoon?

Oh, we're thinking of Norway, where the nights are six months long.

Where are you going on your honeymoon?

We went to Niagara Falls.

Oh, I hear the falls are beautiful.

Yeah, we're going to go back one day so we can see what they look like.

We couldn't afford Norway.

Boy, that cheese was good.

Oh, let me get you some more.

Yeah, let me check on the champagne, see if it's chilled.

Oh, I

thought they'd never leave.

I think I kept eating that cheese.

You know, this thing's only been two weeks since Mary said, Sandra Clark,

Mitchell Evans.

I know, two weeks of knowing the most fascinating, desirable woman in the

Ooh, you keep that up, we might have to send for that Reverend Federal Express.

Baby, where do you want to live? What kind of house do you want?

Oh, you know, just an ordinary castle with a big drawbridge, a big moat.

A big mortgage?

Oh, no, honey, in fairy tales, there are no mortgages, Mitchell.

Here comes the bubbly.

And here comes the reason you used to get rid of us.

Let me be the first to propose a toast to Mitchell and Sandra.

Long life, good fortune, and may your marriage be happier than ours.

What do you mean, happier than ours?

What do you mean, what do I mean?

I mean, what do you mean? Aren't you happy?

Mary, if I was any happier, I would cry.

Well, I propose that Fonda and I be as happy as Lester and Mary. Here, here.

Now that we've got that straightened out, we appreciate it, but we can't let

throw us this wedding. Hey, it's all taken care of, and it's not just us.

everybody in 227.

They'll do anything to get rid of me.

We tried everything else.

I just wish my mother could have flown in for the wedding.

Baby, I told you we could wait till she recovers from operation.

That's what I said, but her exact words were, get married immediately.

Yeah, that's how Mary was. She was just dying to marry me.

You were the one who was desperate.

I just married you to save that poor shrimp boat captain.

What shrimp boat captain?

The one you would have landed on jumping off the bridge if I said no.

Get the door, woman.

Hi. Hi, everybody.

We brought this over for the shower tomorrow.

Oh, that's so nice of you. Rose and Pearl are having a shower for me.

are so much fun.

Yes, fun.

Seems lately I've been going to one every month. Every time I turn around,

somebody else is getting married, but I couldn't be happier seeing all those

beautiful faces filled with joy as I stand there helping them rip the

paper off their gifts.

She's so happy for you.

Oh, Mary, it's not fair.

Why her and not me?

Oh, Rose.

All those guys she dated, she could have married any one of them and I wouldn't

have cared. But no!

Who did she wind up with? A teacher with brains. A cute teacher with brains.

I mean, does she talk better than me? No.

Is she better educated?

No. Does she walk better than me?

Mary, I'm scared.

I'm beginning to think...

never going to meet the right man again.

Oh, Rose Holloway, you listen to me.

You're a wonderful woman, and you're beautiful. And when the right time

the right man will walk through the door.

Not that door.

Oh!

That nice special, uh -huh.

Model 424 by DeGrasse, paid 19 at the very nice catalog.

Son, you don't already have one, do you? Oh, no, no. The one I have, they can't

even show in the catalog.

Oh,

thank you, Rose.

That was so thoughtful of you.

Well, I bought one for myself.

Of course, I don't know when I'll get to use it. Oh.

Open my gift.

Oh, his and hers tower.

Just hers.

Thank you, Pearl. If it lasts, then I'll give you his.

Thank you, Pearl.

Here, Sandra.

Open this big box. It's for Mary.

For Mary?

Don't worry. It's not ticking.

Oh!

Pop! Pam!

I'll show you how to use them later.

I won't need that.

I should have got you a mirror so you could sit in the corner and watch

turn.

I don't need that either. We're eating out every night.

Can you believe it, me getting married? You know what we did this morning?

We tried our wedding bands. He was so cute. You know what he did?

Every time he put a different ring on my finger, he proposed all over again.

I think I'm going to be ill.

My fourth husband gave me his mother's wedding band.

Oh, Pearl, how sentimental.

Sentimental? He practically broke her finger taking it out.

I still cannot believe she's getting married.

You know, I still can't believe Mr. Evans is getting married. Yeah, I hate

see him go. He's a great teacher.

Man, if he was such a great teacher, he wouldn't be going.

Manny, you just said he was the best teacher you ever had.

Hey, they're all the same.

They're just looking out for themselves.

Hey, so he wants to leave school and make a few extra bucks. Good luck to

I'm thinking of doing the same thing myself.

Hi, Mr. Evans. Hi, Verna. Where's Sandra? She's in the kitchen with my

Okay. Hey, guys. What's going on? We were just talking about how much we're

going to miss you at school.

Yeah, I'm going to miss everyone, too.

Fact is, I started to miss Manny already.

Why'd you cut my class today?

Uh -oh.

I think we're going to take these plates into the kitchen.

Oh, I think Manny should take them.

Well, how about it, Manny? Why weren't you in my class?

Yeah, well, I figured it didn't matter too much.

Shoes, it's not next week. You're going to be cutting class for good.

It's not the same thing.

You know, maybe I'll get a job and make a few bucks, and someday some pretty

chick will come along and like me, too.

You quit school now. Chances are that's all you'll make is a few bucks.

Yeah, well, you're dropping out. I got a college degree and 12 years of training

behind me. I got a right to make that decision.

Manny, look, sometimes you got to make difficult decisions.

And the things you have to do aren't always what you'd really like to do.

Yeah, well, I just wish you were sticking around some more, you know?

See you later, Mr. Evans.

Mitchell, you're here.

Oh, hi, baby.

Hi. I got something for you.

Oh, yeah?

Mm -hmm.

Mm. Mm, I like that.

Wait, there's more.

Mitchell. What? We got to talk.

Now? Yeah.

Honey, I'm starting to have second thoughts.

Are you trying to tell me that you don't love me no more?

No, I think I'm trying to tell you that I love you more than ever.

But I realize now that I'm not the only one who loves you.

You found out about me and Pearl.

Mitchell, I'm serious.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I don't want you to quit teaching.

Now, I saw you talking to that boy, and I realize now how much those kids need

you. But don't you need me?

Sure I do.

But I saw something else, too, honey.

What's that?

You need them.

Now, I met me a teacher. I fell in love with a teacher, and I want to marry one,

too. Baby, I'll have to give up a $50 ,000 -a -year job. We'll have to live on

teacher's salary.

We'll manage. I'm ready to give up a life of luxury and live just like any

average, gorgeous couple.

Are you sure?

Uh -huh, sure.

Oh, baby, you made me the happiest man in the world.

Mitchell.

What? You know how to cook?

I think we're in trouble.

Sandra, come on. It's time for your cooking lesson.

I'm ready.

Sandra, what is that getter? When you cook, you gotta wear cooking clothes.

You look like you ought to be on a can of spaghetti.

Okay, let's start the lesson.

This is the kitchen.

Mary, I know this.

This is the pot and this is the pan.

No, Sandra, this is the pan and this is the pot.

Well, I took a chance.

I think we're all taking a chance.

Okay.

Now, to start your lesson, we are going to cook a turkey.

This. I gotta see.

Okay, now first we're going to stuff the turkey.

Are you ready?

This is the stuffing.

Take the stuffing and put it in there.

I'm not putting my hand in there.

Oh, come on, Sandra's not going to bite you.

Especially not that end.

This is your cooking lesson.

You stuff the turkey. I don't even know this turkey, Mary.

Stuff it.

All right, all right.

I know why people eat out so much.

Now, was that so bad?

I don't know. Is that a male turkey or a lady turkey?

We couldn't tell. They cut everything off.

You three ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Okay.

Now you take the oil and you rub it over his belly.

Harold used to like me to do this.

With suntan lotion.

I just wish his skin was as smooth as his turkeys.

Okay, now let's season it.

Now get some salt and pepper and a little oregano.

Oregano? All you need is some onion powder and garlic.

Pearl, what are you talking about? No, that's going to be too strong.

Are you crazy? You need to use a little sage and some basil.

Are you crazy? How are you going to get the flavor?

You have to have some chili or some mustard seeds. Oh, Pearl, who's going to

that mash? You might as well just pour hot sauce all over it.

Oh, doesn't it look pretty?

You think Mitchell will like it?

Child, you feed him that and he'll be hot to trot.

All right, everyone.

Time for rehearsal.

Let's take our places.

Lester, you and the groom here.

Mary, you're right here.

Sandra, you come down the aisle.

Honey.

Isn't this fun? Yeah.

How'd you like to get married again?

Well, there's this fine chick I just hired to work in my office.

They've got funerals here, too, you know.

Helen, could we have the music?

I apologize for any terrible thing I might have ever said to you.

I accept your apology. Now I wish it was from me.

I wish you'd have told me that before I kissed you.

Beats me as sugar -hard as couldn't in here sound.

Sandra,

I miss you.

Farewell, Freddie.

A coat like that would set me back a year's salary.

Yeah, me too.

Um, uh, Ray, please return it.

Are you sure?

Are you crazy?

I'm sure.

If you want it, you can keep it. No, no, no, honey, no.

I don't want it.

Goodbye.

Goodbye. I was talking to the coat.

Oh, honey, look.

A shooting star.

Did you make a wish?

Yeah. Me too.

Mine came true.

What'd you wish?

Depends on whether you're planning on sharing that candy bar.

Let's sit outside for a while.

I can go for that.

Sondra was sure nervous at the wedding rehearsal, wasn't she?

She's a bride. It's her job to be nervous.

You know what I remember most about our wedding? The night before.

I was so nervous.

What do you remember most?

That gorgeous woman that jumped out of the cake at my steak party.

You know what else I remember?

What? The advice my mother and father gave me at our wedding rehearsal.

And did you listen to them?

Obviously not. I married you, didn't I?

We sure had a lot of great ideas, didn't we? The two of us gonna conquer the

world. Yeah.

Well, we did.

We're still together.

I love you.

And I love you, too.

Oh,

that's beautiful.

Pearl, how long have you been in that window?

Since 1949.

Oh, so long for this night.

what's in you

Andre, you look positively beautiful.

Oh, thank you, Mary.

You know, Mary, I gotta admit, you have been really helpful to me this last

week. I really appreciate it.

Child, this is a historical event.

I mean, you getting married is like Custer's last dance.

I gotta ask you to do me one more favor, okay? What?

Get me out of this.

Master, you like bowling?

Yeah, I like bowling. Good, let's go bowl a few games.

Richard, you got a wedding going on here, remember?

When you got married... Were you able to get Mary everything she needed?

I practically guaranteed her two meals a day.

I'm going to need more than that.

Did you see the look in her eyes when she saw that fur coat? Look, it's tough

when you start out, but you're a team. You'll get through it.

Yeah, she is a terrific lady.

Yeah. What am I worrying about?

Right.

I'm so confused.

What do you think?

I think we should send for your sick mama.

Mary, I'll never be any good at being a teacher's wife.

I can't talk to other teachers' wives. I can't sit at home every night. I'm not

domestic. Only thing I know how to cook is a very spicy turkey.

So you cook TV dinners. They're nutritious.

Oh, then you'll have many romantic nights, alone together, marking papers.

He'll take you on all the educational conventions.

He'll take you to the... You're not painting a very pretty picture, ma 'am.

Okay, so you're not Sammy Davidson out to be.

But what I'm trying to say is if you love him, everything will fall in place.

I sure do love him.

Well, then pull yourself together. You got a walk to take, remember?

Okay.

Thank you, Mary.

She loves you and you love her. That's what all marriages are based on.

Yeah, you're right.

But then how come 50 % end up in divorce?

Look, will you forget your math? It's going to be all right. You've just got

keep the last minute generous. That's all.

You think so?

Positive. Now, come on.

Do you know Sondra is driving me crazy?

When it's Brenda's turn, I hope she elopes.

Today is not just a wedding.

It is a birth.

Two spirits become one.

It is no longer what I want.

It is what we want.

You have given up your separate lives to share the journey through good times

and struggling times.

Now, before we join this couple in holy matrimony,

Is there anyone here who objects?

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

They never covered this at the seminar.

Sandra.

I won't be right for you.

I won't be right for you.

Well, what do you think we should do?

Wait a while.

Talk some more? The church has to close at 7 o 'clock.

Reverend, I don't think we're ready to get married.

Do you, Mitchell?

No. All right.

What are we going to do now?

Mary?

Leave it to me.

Excuse me, everyone.

I have an announcement to make.

Hey, it's party time.

I'm going to eat, do some dancing, and then we'll have a wedding.

In a year or two.

Maybe.

I knew it.

She can't live without me.

Do you think I'll get my tiles back?

You know, I finally accept Thunder getting married, and she pulls this on

That has got to be the shortest marriage on the record. I thought he was at

least waiting till after the honeymoon.

Sort of makes you think.

Yeah, I'm glad that didn't happen to us. Me too.

Hey, baby, have you always been happy with everything I've given you? Oh,

of course I have.

Good. Now I did see this cute little fur coat.

And that's all you're going to do is see it.

Well?

You took the words right out of my mouth.

You think we made a mistake?

No.

Me neither.

Maybe we should join our friends. Are you hungry?

No.

Me neither.

Say.

I know this great piano bar where the guy plays all the Duke Ellington songs

they stay up and late on wedding night since this was going to be our wedding

night.

I'd love to.

I'm nuts about Duke Ellington.