Original subtitles

They have no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that's your love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there's no place like home.

Times are changing every day.

We won't get by with no flame away.

No, no. Pulling together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends, I know we can fly. But there's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam. Cause there ain't no place

like home. There ain't no place like home.

There's no place like home.

I mean, no place, child.

Rinaldo, stop it.

Rinaldo.

Baby, just one kiss goodnight.

How did that light get on? I want to see what you're doing.

I thought you said you liked me.

I do like you, but what happened to that sweet, shy man I met at the church

social?

That sure was a terrible movie. Oh, you just mad because they tried to sell you

a senior citizen's ticket.

Hey, what's he doing?

Graffiti. And on my building.

Hey, you.

Stop that. Stop it.

You heard her. Stop that. Let go of me. Nobody does that to my building. What's

going on out here? We got this no good spray and paint on the building. Shame

you. Oh, mind your own business, old lady. Don't you call me old.

At least let's try to talk to Picasso here. Talk to him? Mary, you're wasting

your time trying to talk to kids these days. Hey, I'm getting out of here. No,

you're not. No, you don't. I want to talk to you. About what?

Do you know what happens every time you write on a building? Sure, my friend.

See my tag.

You want to see my tag?

Your tag is ugly.

Ugly? Yes, ugly. It runs the neighborhood down. It also spins your

insurance up and their property values down.

Nobody wants to buy in a neighborhood where they see all those stupid tags.

You kids are turning the community into a trash museum.

That's right. And I work hard to keep my building nice, and I'm not going to let

punks like you come along and mess it up. Oh, you're just wasting your breath.

Why don't you call the police?

And while we wait, I'll whip his butt.

if you hadn't butted in. Butted in? Butted in? Watch my lips. Butted in.

Hey, there's a man trying to sleep in here.

How can you sleep at a time like this? The fact that it's midnight may have

something to do with it.

Lester, we just caught a kid spraying paint on the building and Mary let him

away. You caught him doing it? Darn right, and I bopped him in the head for

I wish you'd been there, Lester. Yeah, at least he wouldn't have gotten away.

Are you saying you could have handled it better?

Now, baby, come on. Even if I thought that.

I wouldn't say it in front of you.

Well, I'll say it. One more minute, Mary would have bought him a suit, kissed

him on the cheek, and sent him off to college.

Well, at least I tried to talk to him. Oh, girl, he wouldn't listen to a thing

you said. He was, too. I could tell by his eyes. He'll probably tell his

friends, and maybe they'll listen to him. Oh, goodbye, Mary Jenkins. Hello,

Poppins.

Mary, graffiti is everywhere. We're starting a new building, and we got kids

standing in line with spray cans before we can get a wall up. I still say we

ought to call the police.

And what are the police going to do, Pearl?

Run a make on the graffiti?

Well, at least they can do something if we can identify him. He was tall.

He was short.

Well, what I saw was the top of his head, and that was flat after I bopped

I'm going to bed.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

I'm not going to let this drop.

They attack.

you. Yeah, they hurt my neck. They claim I rode on that building.

Well, did you? Of course not. They're the ones who rode on me.

Well, what building was it?

227. Well, I'll tell you one thing. I'm not gonna let this drop.

Looks like a R.

No, that's a P.

P -L -U -D.

Must be one of them gang names like the Knights.

Or the Pluds.

Hi, everybody.

Hi. Hi, babe.

Calvin, what does that say?

That says plod, Grandma.

What's a plod?

Beats me.

Maybe I ought to find this guy and have a talk with him. How big was it?

Not too big.

Then I'll definitely have a talk with him.

Why do kids always get blamed for everything?

Look what's happening in Brazil.

The lumber companies are cutting down all the trees.

And once the rainforest is gone, our oxygen is gone.

And once the oxygen is gone, we're...

She'll be all right. She had an ecology class today.

Why would anybody want to do something like this?

Well, maybe it's a cry for help.

Well, if I ever catch him, he'll cry for help all right.

Hey, Grandma, some kids have heavy problems at home. Well, why don't he

paint on his own house?

Come on, Brent. I'll treat you to a root beer. All right.

Do you have any money?

That's real romantic, Al.

Well, I'd like to find the jerk that ruined my building. It looks so awful.

Sure does.

You ought to lower my rent.

You know, Pearl, I don't remember kids ever having as many problems as they do

today.

Good afternoon, lovely ladies.

What's so good about it? You see what some rotten kid did?

What'd you expect?

That's what you get for hiring non -union painters.

Frank, do you have some mail for us? I've all the mail you ever need, Mama.

I'm not talking about junk mail.

All right, all right, but I've got something for you.

Something very official, something very important, and something very

interesting.

They'll never move you to express mail.

One for you, and one for you, my little darling.

If you're waiting for a tip, Frank, I got a tip for you. Don't wait.

Don't worry, Mama.

I'm going to leave you now. I want to see your face after you open that

All the nerves. What?

Listen to this.

That poor, misguided young man you tried to reach out to is suing us for

assault. This is a summons to appear in court. Why, that lousy... What are you

looking at, nosy?

He can't sue us.

We were just trying to protect our property. That's right.

Well, you better have a witness.

Witness?

You were there. You could tell him what happened last night.

Between me and Ronaldo?

That's personal, Mary.

It was also nothing.

I'm not talking about your tater -tate in the Toyota.

I'm talking about the graffiti on the building.

Sandra, tell Frank what you saw.

Yeah, tell him how that kid bad -mouthed. I didn't see that.

Well, tell him how he spray -painted the building.

I didn't see that.

Then what did you see?

I saw you grab him, I saw you hit him on the head, and I saw you spray paint all

over his chest.

Did I say something wrong?

I can't believe this.

We are decent, law -abiding citizens, and he is suing us.

Yeah, it's like a dog suing the fire department for using on the hydrant.

That's what we do. He's in the wrong. We're in the right.

Absolutely. Amen to that.

We're going to jail.

Well, I'm too old to go to jail.

Well, I'm too young.

I suppose I'm just right.

Mary, we've been accused of assault. People go to jail for that.

Oh, Rose, people do not go to jail in small claims court. The most they can

you pay is $2 ,000.

$2 ,000?

Because Judge Wagner said so on people's court.

$2 ,000?

That's my entire savings.

Well, they can't get it from me because I don't have $2 ,000.

You got to build it.

Hey, babe.

What's happening, ladies?

Boy, this has been some kind of day. Everything has gone just perfectly.

Up until now.

Why all the sour faces?

We're all going to the house of many slammers.

What's she talking about?

The kid who sprayed paint on the building is suing us. You're kidding.

Do I look like I'm kidding?

Okay, okay.

What's he charging you with?

A sock with a deadly pillow.

Well, it's obvious he's just trying to get some money out of us.

Well, I'm going to fight this thing if I have to take it all the way to the

Supreme Court.

Well, I know one thing, ladies.

I've been reading this law book.

And we have nothing to worry about, not a thing.

Probably not. It's his word against yours. I'm going to take a shower.

Mary! How nice you look. But you always look nice.

Why does that bother me?

Can't a friend drop by and say hello?

Uh -oh. A friend who's been forced... into an unforeseen circumstance.

Here it comes.

All I ask is a little compassion and understanding.

Awake me when she gets to the point.

I'm going to be a witness at your trial.

Ooh, we got him now.

For the other side.

What? The other side?

I've been subpoenaed, too.

You're gonna rat on your friend?

Girl, you think I like testifying against you?

they find out about you anyway? Frank, the mailman.

You give him a cookie, he'll tell you anything.

One of these days, I'm gonna run that man's lips through my meat grinder.

Sandra, you just can't testify against us.

But what else can I do? They're gonna make me swear to tell the truth.

Sandra, perhaps we should review the truth.

Perhaps I should review your leaf.

know what I saw. Now, the can was in Rosa's hands, the pillow was in Pearl's

hands, and the kid was in your hands.

But you didn't see what happened before that.

He painted the building.

I didn't see that.

Wait, wait, wait. Ladies, let me handle this.

Now, Sandra, is it or is it not true that the car you were sitting in had

windows?

Yeah.

And is it or is it not true that on that same night in question, there was no

moon?

Well... And as near as you can calculate, how close were you to the

was sitting right next to me. Right next to me! Why don't you yell at me, Naomi?

The truth is, you didn't see anything because you were too busy tangling in

Toyota.

I came down here for a little understanding not to be yelled at.

Well, I'm going to court and tell it like I saw it. But don't you worry, I'll

visit you every visitor's day. Good afternoon, ladies.

And Mary.

We're going to jail.

I wish we had a lawyer.

Oh, don't be so negative, Rose.

You know what my horoscope said today?

What? I'm entering into a period of good fortune and happiness.

That's a wonderful horoscope.

It's never been right yet.

Mary, this is all your fault. You're the one that grabbed him and shook him. My

fault? You sprayed him with the paint.

You want a microphone and a national hookup?

Uh -oh, here he comes.

That's not him. Yes, it is.

What's he doing all dressed up? Trying to influence the judge, just like you

are.

I knew I should have worn my new eyelashes.

Maybe we really did hurt him, Mary.

Oh, he's faking, Rose.

Maybe not.

Do me a favor.

Don't testify.

Don't worry about it, baby. Everything's going to be all right.

Thank you, dear.

I love you. Always remember that.

This is not goodbye, you know.

It is for me. I've got to get to work.

You're leaving me now?

Somebody's got to earn that $2 ,000.

All rise.

Court is now in session.

The Honorable Wilson J. Hollingsworth presiding.

First case.

JoJo Herman versus Mary Jenkins, Rose Holloway, and Pearl Shea.

Will the parties involved please approach the bench?

All right,

let me hear what this is all about.

Mr. Herman.

Mr. Herman.

That's you.

Oh, yeah, that's me.

Your Honor, these women wantonly attacked my son.

Your Honor, we didn't wantonly attack anybody.

You'll get your turn.

Now... Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry I'm late, Your Honor. I hope you won't hold me in contempt.

Ooh.

Not that I mind being held.

Who are you?

I'm Sandra Clark.

I have a brunch.

How nice.

But you have to stay.

Do I really have to? I mean, Your Honor, now I can't testify against these

ladies. These are my best friends.

Two of them, anyway.

Did you witness the incident?

Well, a little bit.

Then why don't you hang around a little bit?

Now, Mr.

Herman. Yes, sir.

Tell us your side.

Well, you see, Your Honor, I was walking along minding my own business, and

these three women attacked me.

That's not true, Your Honor. We caught him spraying paint on the building. I

not. They're just trying to blame it on him. Was there graffiti on the building?

Yes, sir, Your Honor, and we saw him put it there. Oh, hey, lady, come on.

Then what were you doing with the spray can in your hand? I didn't have a spray

can in my hand. She did.

Oh, oh.

I'd advise you to tell the truth, young man.

Look at this, Your Honor.

JoJo's shirt.

Now, he wouldn't spray paint himself.

Where were you?

In the car trying to control Ronaldo.

Ronaldo. And you?

Rose and I were coming home from the movies, Your Honor.

And you?

I was in Baltimore visiting my sister.

She was in the window. She's the one who hit me on my head.

Do you know the penalty for perjury?

Could you harm a few bars?

These three women attacked my son, causing him physical and mental

which he should be compensated. She grabbed me and gave me whiplash.

If he got whiplash, Your Honor, it was from looking over his shoulder for the

police. We were just defending our property. How can people lie like this?

weren't defending their property. They were beating up on my kid. We were

defending our property. Beating up on my kid. Defending our property. Beating

up. Quiet.

Quiet. Quiet.

property is a legitimate action if, and I repeat, if it happens while the

graffiti in this case was being applied to the wall, but not after that. It was

while, Your Honor. It was after. While. After. While. It was after. While.

While.

Seems you're the only impartial witness

here. What do you have to say?

Can I go to the bathroom?

If I can't, you can.

Do I have to tell the truth? Yes.

Tell us everything.

Well, Ronaldo was trying to kiss my ear and I was trying to stop him. The last

time a man kissed my ear, it swallowed my pearl ear. Well, maybe not

Just tell us what you thought.

Well, I saw Mary grab him and shake him. I saw Pearl hit him on the head with a

pillow. And I saw Rose spray paint all over his chest. I'm sorry, y 'all.

Aha!

She had the paint can in her hand so JoJo couldn't have been spraying the

Objection, Your Honor.

May I approach the bench?

This is the bench.

Oh.

Excuse me.

Your Honor, I will now prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that this witness is

reliable. I object.

Objection overruled.

It was dark, Your Honor. It was a moon. A full moon.

Which led to a moment of passion.

Is it or is it not true that during the time in question, you were locked in an

embrace with Rinaldo?

Yes.

And is it or is it not true that the windows of the alleged car you were

in were steamed up?

Yes.

Then how could you possibly have seen anything?

Well, I rolled down the window.

She makes me sick.

Meet another lawyer.

He did it, and that's the truth.

That's right, and I walked him for it because he deserved it. What are you

talking about?

It's a crummy building, and any paint will help it.

Crummy? Do I look like the kind of person that would live in a crummy

That happens to be where we live with our families, young man. And what gives

you the right to violate it with your stupid scribbling?

Scribbling? Hey, that's my tag, my mark.

You did the graffiti?

Well... You lied to me.

Mom, I was just expressing myself.

Well, how about expressing yourself in school?

Yeah, where you can learn how to spell what you wrote on our building.

Yeah, what is plug?

Wait a minute.

Your plug?

I've seen that everywhere.

On buses, telephone poles, storefronts. Well, now he's working the residential

district. You ought to walk him some more. Order in the court. This trial is

over. My judgment is in favor of the plaintiff. That's you.

All right.

How can you do this? If you let this kid get away with this, he'll never stop.

Mrs. Jenkins, based on the evidence presented, this court has no alternative

to conclude that you ladies did assault the plaintiff after he sprayed the

building. And damages must be paid.

Do you like graffiti?

What? Have you seen the front of the courthouse lately?

Well, Butt -Cut Bob's got a tag all over it, along with a little comment that

says, Justice is your mama.

Mrs. Jenkins, would you let me finish?

Go ahead.

Thank you.

Damages have to be paid.

The court orders the defendant to pay the sum of ten cents each.

Ten cents!

Mom, did you hear that?

I sure did, JoJo.

I also heard the judge said that you're going to go down there tomorrow morning

and scrub that stupid tag off the wall.

The judge didn't say that. Yes, it did, because I heard it.

Me, too.

Me, too. Me, too.

Do I have to do that? I'll loan you my toothbrush.

He'll be there if he's anywhere on Earth.

Jojo, your daddy and I work hard to get us a home in that neighborhood, and we

don't want you ruining it. You hear me?

Yes, ma 'am. If I'd have known you was... we could have stayed in the old

neighborhood.

Do you know what that does to a neighborhood?

Yes. It turns it into a... a trash museum.

If you're smart, you'll never let me see you in this courtroom again.

Next case.

Don't you have something to say?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, ladies.

We understand.

Yeah, child.

These kids today will pluck your nerves.

See there?

I told you I could get through to that kid. Oh, really?

Well, me and the judge and his mama.

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