Original subtitles

We won't get by with old flame away.

Pulling together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends, I know we can try. Cause there's no place like

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

No place, child.

What is she doing in there? She's been in the bedroom for over an hour and she

won't let me in.

You better be glad she ain't in the bathroom.

It's not every day your best friend, who's also famous, comes down.

Well, how do I look?

I'm not too casual.

Too casual? Why don't you just rent a tiara and an ermine cape?

Honey, do you think there's time?

Just think, Thelma, a renowned... psychologist who's written a bestseller.

will you relax? It's not like the president is coming.

Yeah, she's only been on the cover of People magazine twice this year. And

did a whole hour on her.

Rose, you're never going to believe this, but in high school, she used to

to me for advice.

She came to you?

Yeah. And I used to say, Thelma, Thelma, Thelma. You just take the good with the

bad, roll it up, put it in the oven, and it comes out cupcakes.

And she had to become a psychologist to figure out what that meant.

Oh, there she is. Now, just act normal, but friendly. Okay.

Darling!

for Mary Jenkins. Is she here?

Sandra. What do you want? I'm expecting company.

I know, Dr. Thelma Butler. That's why I'm here. I want to talk to her about my

inhibitions.

Sandra, you don't have any inhibitions.

I know. That's what I want to talk to her about.

Oh, I bet that's her.

Clifford, you arrived years ago.

Oh, it is so good to see you. Doctor, doctor, doctor.

Hi. I'm Sergeant Gluck.

I'm okay. You're okay?

Oh, yes.

Mary wrote me about you in her letters.

Oh, yeah? What did she say?

Never mind all that. What's Oprah really like?

Oh, the doctor's a busy woman. That's why I want to keep my questions short.

know any guys?

Oh, no.

These are my friends. You already met Sandra Clark. This is Rose Holloway, and

that's Pearl Shea.

Thelma!

Oh, Lester.

Oh, my.

All right, ladies, this is a private visit, not group therapy. Bye.

Bye.

Nice to meet you.

Bye -bye, Daphne. Bye. Goodbye, sweetie.

Oh, still coming to the refuge, huh, Lester? Thelma, you look wonderful. Of

course, you always did.

Thelma!

who this is. Brenda!

You haven't seen her since she was six.

But I see you all the time on TV, and you're so much prettier in person, Dr.

Butler. Oh, isn't that sweet?

I like this kid.

You are so smart. You always have the answers.

Forget like. I love this kid.

Yeah, we do, too. Come on, Brenda. Let's go in the kitchen and let these two old

classmates talk about old times and me.

Well, sit down, sit down. Oh, I just want to look at you.

Can I get you something?

Don't you think that it's been ten years since we've last seen each other? Oh,

but I've seen you, honey. I mean, on your own show, on the Today Show, the

Tonight Show, 2020.

Don't forget 60 Minutes.

Go on, girl.

But enough about me. I want to talk about you.

Oh, Mary, you're doing great.

Nice husband, nice daughter, nice friend.

Nice apartment?

Why does nice sound like tapioca?

I believe Dr.

Butler is here.

Why, yes. Yes, she is. Oh, Lee.

Mary, this is my assistant, Lee Wilson. Hello.

Delighted.

Now, doctor, we're due at the reception at the mayor's house. Mayor?

Oh, this is Brenda, Mary's daughter.

Then we'll be doing your television show from your hotel suite. I can go over

your notes with you in the limo.

Limo? Oh, I'm sorry, Brenda Mary. Looks like I've got to run.

Oh, listen, I understand.

I mean, I have a busy schedule, too. I have to clean a chicken.

Oh, I've got a better idea. Why don't the two of you come with me? Oh, great,

Mom. I'm afraid that this meal I'm cooking for you is not going to take

itself.

Oh, what if I get to Brenda?

Could I please?

Okay, but stay out of the way.

We've got to move. We've already missed the press conference and the book

signing. Oh, Lee, please.

How many times have I told you? You've got to take the good with the bad, roll

it up, put it in the oven, and it all comes out cupcakes.

Oh, we'll be back in time for that dinner.

Bye, Mom.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I autographed a copy of my book for you. Oh.

Now, if I read this, am I going to be rich and famous, too?

Doctor. Oh, come along, Brenda.

Bye. Have a good time.

From her penthouse apartment on Fifth Avenue, Dr.

Thelma Butler touches the hearts of millions through her nationally

television show.

One minute's air time, Doctor.

In a moment, Lee.

Just let me finish with this patient.

Now listen, my dear.

Someday he'll come along, the man you love.

And when he does, don't worry about sex.

Believe me, it doesn't matter if you're short.

You're welcome, Dr. Rue.

Bye -bye.

Ten seconds to air. Let's take our places.

Welcome to the Emmy Award -winning Dr.

Mary Hurley Show.

And now here's your host, Dr.

Mary Hurley. Thank you, Lee.

Now, before we begin our question, I'd like to tell you about my new book,

Aspects of Endocrine Imbalance on the Psyche. Or as it's known in paperback,

your lights are out, change the bulb.

Doctor, here's a letter I think you might want to share with your fans.

Thank you, Lee.

Dear Dr.

Mary, I want to thank you for your wonderful advice when you told me to

doctor. It changed my life.

Love, Bill Cosby.

You're welcome, Bill.

And now, Doctor, let's get right to our first question.

This card comes from a Mrs. W .P. from upstate New York.

Dr. Mary, every weekend my husband likes to dress up in my clothes and parade

around the house in high heels.

What should I do?

Shocked in Syracuse.

Thank you, Lee.

Dear Shocked in Syracuse, look at it this way.

If it's Ladies' Day at the ballpark, you both get in free.

What? Dr. Mary, exciting news. We've just received word from Stockholm you've

won the Nobel Prize for Medicine.

Again?

Thank you, Lee.

Thank you. Thank you. Mary.

Mary.

Mary. Put the Nobel Prize in the cabinet with the others.

What?

Oh, I must have been daydreaming.

What do you want?

I want you to sew this button on my shirt.

Button?

Button? Yeah.

Do you know what your problem is?

Yeah, this button.

No. You have an emotional dependency that's manifesting itself in your

need for attention.

Do you understand what I mean?

Yeah. You're not going to throw the button on my shirt.

So, I'm at this cocktail party with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Henry

And they turn to me and say, We don't have an accent. You do.

Well, here they are.

Dr. Butler, tell them how many books you autographed today.

And they're piping hot.

Oh, maybe two or three hundred. And maybe a couple of Diane Carrolls by

Here you go, Pearl. You love these.

Shh. The doctor's talking.

Oh, Mary, what do you have there?

Oh, just my sour cream brownies.

Do you want some?

No.

May I?

Mom,

Dr. Butler told me all about when you two were in school together.

Yes, we were practically inseparable. We used to do our homework together.

No wonder you got such good grades.

I'll get it.

Hi, everybody. Sorry we're late.

But Jordan didn't come for me till 7 .30.

It's after 9 now.

Well, it took us a while to say hello.

Doctor, this is my friend Jordan Gilbert.

Doctor, you changed my life. You know, I was always uncomfortable around girls.

Until I read your book, I didn't know how to act.

Yeah, but now he wins an Academy Award every night.

Thank you.

Meeting someone that I've helped is what really makes my job worthwhile.

You did pay full price for the book.

Oh, come on now, Jordan. With any luck, you'll win another Oscar tonight.

Oh.

Goodbye.

Thelma, it's wonderful.

You shouldn't have let yourself drift apart. You too could have met Arnold

Schwarzenegger. I could listen to her all day.

Brenda, would you help me in the kitchen?

Now? Yes, now.

Mom, she is so smart.

She's not so smart. She's got a C in physics.

Pick up the tray.

I'll pour the coffee and you get some cream. Okay.

Ah, you know something?

I just love this silver service.

You hardly ever use it.

That's because I save it for special occasions.

You know, my mother had this when she got married, and when I got married, she

gave it to me.

And when you get married, I'm going to give it to you. You know, Mom, I've been

thinking. I don't know about getting married.

Well, what brought that on?

Nothing. I just want to be like Dr. Butler. She's not married and bogged

with a lot of silverware.

Brenda, it's not silverware. It's a family heirloom.

Well, I can always come back and get it someday, Mom. It'll always be here with

you. You're not going anywhere.

Oh, Rose, I don't know what's wrong with me. I do. It's Thelma.

Thelma, Thelma, Thelma. I mean, can anybody talk about anything else besides

Thelma? Okay, I'm sorry. So what is it?

It's Thelma.

Oh, Rose.

I mean, next to her, I feel like such a failure.

Oh, Mary, you're not thinking straight.

See? I can't even do that.

Mary, you are a very valuable person, and a lot of people depend on you,

including me, okay?

Now, where would Brenda and Lester be without you?

Oh, they don't need me. I mean, Lester could hire somebody to do what I do.

Mary, listen to me.

Your family counts on you.

And they are what they are because of you.

Okay?

Okay.

Oh, gotta get back down to the laundry room, get my clothes out of the dryer.

All righty. You think about what I said, okay?

Where would Brenda and Lester be without you?

Well, what in the world happened here?

Hey, Brand, what's up? What a girl.

Lester, what are you wearing?

Lester? Lester, do you hear me?

Brand, what's the hold up?

Lester?

Lester?

That must be invisible.

What's up, pops?

Brenda, I'll catch you. Your father's going to kill you.

I see you into your orange thing today.

You just now getting home?

Oh, yeah. I've been out all night partying. Check it out, my chaps.

Hey, sir.

Me too.

Hey,

thing. Ain't it about time for you to be breaking on down to that schoolhouse?

I went yesterday.

Yesterday? And you're going again today, tomorrow, and the next day?

Are you staying in your room for a month? Do you hear? And besides, Calvin

are getting married today.

Married?

Be cool.

Now, you ain't hooking up with nobody just yet, so you just get yourself in

there, put on your shark rags, and break on down to their schoolhouse.

What's up, Pops? You tripping, man.

You gotta get with the 80s.

Look, don't press me, Bram. Tell her, Lester.

Please, Pops. Oh, all right. What time is this wedding?

This can't get much worse.

That must be your girlfriend.

just chill because you ain't even invited to the wedding.

Listen, remember to change the locks after she's gone. Hi, baby.

How do you imagine you look so good so early in the morning?

Oh, I'm a natural beauty.

Yeah, with four pounds of makeup.

Did you get another job?

Hey, big baby, I'm already holding down three gigs.

Three gigs?

What happened to the construction company?

Say, you know, I've been thinking.

Selling that construction company wasn't too cool a move.

Well, I think it was a fair trade.

After all, we got this diamond necklace.

What did I get?

The bill.

Hey, that's it. That's it.

I'm walking around here busting my butt night and day. You're spending money

like I got a printing press. I should have never left that other babe I was

with. She was so intelligent, warm, giving, gorgeous.

Go on. Go on.

I wish she was here now.

Mary. Oh.

Oh, Lester. Oh, you've come back.

What are you talking about? I come home every day about this time.

Oh, Lester. You know what I think?

I think I'm beginning to envy Thelma.

I mean, her fame, her importance, her whole way of life.

Her whole way of life? All that running out of hotels?

Uh -uh, Mary.

I don't know. A couple of times I looked at Thelma, I sort of got the impression

she was envying you.

Oh, honey, that's crazy.

Hey, you've read enough stories about celebrities to know that a glamorous

doesn't always mean someone is happy.

That's true.

You mean Velma might actually be envying me?

That's the way it looked to me.

Velma! Hi, Mary. I just wanted to say goodbye before I left.

Oh, I'm so glad you did.

You poor thing.

Sit down.

Can I get you something? Coffee? Tea?

A home -cooked meal?

No, I'm fine.

I'm on my way to San Francisco to kick off another book tour.

Listen, Thelma, you don't have to pretend with me.

You could always read me like a book.

Actually, I'm on my way to London.

Charles and Di are fighting again.

Thelma! I mean, this is me.

Remember? We used to confide in each other.

Look, I know how empty hotel rooms can be.

How empty your life is.

I mean, how painful it must be to have to put on that false smile day after

False smile?

Mary, I've never been happier in my life.

I mean, would you come off of it? Let it out.

Mary, I have the most fulfilling, exciting...

Wonderful life I could ever imagine.

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dr. Butler.

Look at the new skirt I just got.

Where's the rest of it?

It's a mini skirt.

Brenda, I certainly hope you saved the receipt because it's going right back to

the store.

But, Mom, all the kids are wearing them.

Except you.

There is no way I'm going to let you wear this skirt, Brenda. Now, Mary,

be so old -fashioned.

Brenda is simply expressing herself with a contemporary look.

Brenda, go out and play.

Play?

Don't worry, honey.

Run along.

I'll square things with your mom.

Thanks, Dr. Butler. You're wonderful.

Well,

you've got a lot of nerve.

I mean, Brenda is my daughter.

And don't think I don't know what you're trying to do.

You're trying to show me up because you're jealous.

Jealous? Me jealous?

Yes, because I have a daughter and you don't. And don't deny it. I can see it

your eyes.

What you see in my eyes is astonishment.

My dear, my life is full.

On the other hand, look at you.

You're stuck with a husband, a kid, and an apartment without room service.

Will you stop that dusting?

And you were voted most likely to succeed.

Ha!

Oh, you never did get over that, did you?

No, but obviously you did.

I mean, just what have you accomplished?

Plenty. I mean, Brenda didn't become a great child just by luck, you know. It

takes a lot of hard work to raise a child, run a household, and still find

to volunteer at school and church.

I mean, I may not have a lot of TV cameras following me around, but my life

just as busy, rewarding, and fulfilling as yours. Anything else?

Yes! I have been married to the same great man for 20 years. How's your love

life?

My love life is none of your business! Oh, but you don't mind discussing

everybody else's love life on TV, do you?

Look, Mary, I perform a valuable service for people.

If you read my book, you would understand that.

You do read, don't you? Oh, yes.

Yes, I read.

And as for your book, I practically wrote it.

What are you talking about?

Oh, you take the good with the bad, roll it out, put it in the oven, and it

comes out cupcakes?

That's my line.

Your line? Yes.

Well, I wish I had a dollar for every time you cried on my shoulder when I had

to tell you that line.

You've got the wrong shoulder, sister.

I didn't have to cry in high school because I had dates. I was popular.

Hmm. Well, you didn't feel so popular when Lester was dating little Jeannie.

Oh, you little twit!

And you weren't so successful when Carl stood you up at the senior prom and you

had to go with your little brother.

Why, you traitor!

You little nitwit!

Nitwit!

You cross -eyed cow!

Cross -eyed cow?

Yes!

Cross -eyed cow?

Yes!

Well, you know the real reason why you do not want Brenda to wear this skirt?

That's because you could never fit into anything this small, even when you were

in grammar school.

I guess little Brenda won't be wearing this.

This is just

like old times.

We used to argue over everything.

But Mary, cross -eyed cow.

That's because I haven't said it since high school.

You know something, Mary? You may be right.

There are times when I do wish that I had gotten married.

Oh, no, no.

Because there are plenty of times when I wish I had pursued a career.

But you know something?

We are both doing what we were meant to do.

Yeah. I guess the grass is always greener. Yeah.

Or as one of us said in high school, you take the good with the bad, roll it up,

put it in the oven, and it all comes out cupcakes.