Original subtitles

There's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there's no place like home.

Time goes changing every day.

We won't get by with those flame away.

No, no. Pulling together, we'll make it right.

With help from our friends, I know we can fly. But there's no place like home.

With your family around you, you're never alone.

When you know that you love, you don't need to roam.

Cause there ain't no place like. Better believe it. There ain't no place like.

There's no place like home.

I mean, no place, child.

Hi, Mary. Oh, hi. Hi, Mary.

These came for you while you were in the laundry.

Oh, they're beautiful.

I tipped the boy a quarter.

Thanks, Pearl.

I tipped the boy a quarter.

Here. Oh. If you insist.

Thank you.

Oh, Mary, read the card.

Oh, look.

To the most wonderful wife in the world, looking forward to tonight. I love you,

Lester. What's tonight?

Mom, I'll see you tomorrow. I'm going down to Tiffany's tonight.

Tonight? Well, Lester asked if Brenda could stay with us tonight.

I think Daddy's trying to get rid of me tonight.

Well, Father knows best.

See you guys tomorrow.

Okay, bye -bye.

Flowers, bring her away for the night.

I'll bet Lester don't have gin rummy on his mind.

Well, he's going out of town in a couple of days, and he's been spending a lot

of hours at work. Probably thinks I need some attention.

Oh, I love a man who feels guilty.

Why don't you wait till summer when we need fanning?

I'm just exercising. My ring finger gets tired.

Oh, my goodness. Look at this diamond.

Oh, it's bigger than my gallstone.

Hey, let me see that.

Topaz, sapphire, diamonds.

I bet this ring costs a fortune.

Justin gave it to me. He's crazy about me.

Oh, let me see, child.

How long have you known this man?

Oh, a lifetime.

Three days.

Three days?

That's not even the lifetime for a fly.

It was so romantic when we met. I was admiring this ring in the Regal Jewelers

store, you know? So was Justin.

Took me to dinner that night and surprised me with this ring.

I'm gonna stand in front of the butcher shop. I need some lamb chops.

Wait a minute.

Did you say topaz and sapphire?

Uh -huh.

be in your eyes. I love it.

Justin and I have so much in common. We both love music and dancing.

And topaz and sapphires and diamonds.

Uh -oh.

Sandra, I think you better read this. What?

Regal Jewelry Store was robbed yesterday.

The thief broke a window and ran off with a collection featuring topaz,

sapphires, and diamonds.

What are you trying to say?

I think Justin stole more than your heart.

Are you crazy?

My Justin a thief?

No way.

In what jewelry store did you say you saw that in?

Regal Jewelers. But it's just a coincidence.

I got a cousin, Sing Sing, who had the same coincidence.

You could be accused of being a fence for stolen jewelry. We better call the

police. Well, can't I call them later?

How much later?

Well, after Justin takes me to dinner dancing and, you know.

All right.

But if Justin is innocent, you're going to owe him an apology.

And if he's guilty, tell him to tell my cousin hello.

This is one of them.

Are you sure?

There's no doubt.

I want a second opinion.

I'm afraid your friend is a thief. We've been looking for him for a while.

Does this mean I have to give my ring back?

Well, there's a way you could keep it a little longer.

How? Well, Detective Molina and I need evidence.

Well, what about the ring? I didn't get it out of a Cracker Jack box.

It's not enough. He could deny knowing anything about it.

That's where you come in, Miss Clark.

We need you to help us catch him in the act.

I'm not that kind of girl.

All you have to do is get him to show you some stolen jewelry, and then we can

nab him. Well, he's coming by about 7 tonight. He said he's going to bring me

surprise. Another piece of jewelry.

Oh, yeah. I could use a new bracelet.

How about two bracelets with a chain in between?

I promise you you'll be safe. We'll wire you with a mic so that we can hear

everything that happens.

Everything?

As a citizen, it's your civic duty, ma 'am. Well, can't I just give some blood

or pick up some aluminum cans or something?

Oh, come on. I just can't do it.

Well, there is a substantial reward.

I'll give it a shot.

Hey, baby, your man is here.

Hi, honey.

For you.

Yeah, I've been thinking about you all day. Now, who you been thinking about?

Sandra. What?

She got herself tangled up with some jewel thief.

What'd she do, break up with the dentist?

Evidently, diamonds won out over gold fillings.

Well, forget Sandra.

Tonight, it's just gonna be you and me.

Oh, honey, I forgot.

I told the detectives they could set up down here tonight and catch the jewel

thief.

Ooh,

isn't that something?

They make a microphone small enough to put in the earring.

Okay.

I'm going to test it now.

Testing.

Testing. One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

All right, that's enough.

We hear you loud and clear.

Don't worry, now. If anything goes wrong, I'll be back up here in a split

second. Why don't you just hide in my coat closet?

How could a man my size fit in a coat closet? Well, they usually stand

Don't worry, Miss Clark. We have everything under control.

Call me Signed.

Okay.

Signed.

No, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You promise?

I promise.

I couldn't let anything happen to that beautiful face or that gorgeous body or

creamy skin or those magnificent...

I'd better get out of here.

These are Div Fredrickson and Melina. These are my neighbors. This is Pearl

and Rose Holloway. Hello.

Hi.

Want to frisk me?

No, ma 'am, that's all right. You have an honest face.

Just can't trust my body, huh?

Pearl. Now, is that any way to talk in front of your younger, widowed friend?

Ladies, this is not the dating game.

This is serious police business.

They got a microphone on Sondra, and they're waiting for Justin to show up.

is it all right if we stay and listen?

Cost you $2 .50.

He down there.

He should be here any minute now.

I want you to know that if anything happens, I want Rose to have my clothes.

I want Pearl to have my living room set.

And me and me, you can have my Hello Detroit ashtray.

Kiss Detroit goodbye, baby.

That should be him now.

Hi, Justin.

Hi, baby. How you doing?

Huh? Mm.

Ooh, Justin.

Mm. Ooh!

That earring alone could electrocute him.

Sorry I was late.

But I had to pick up a new car.

Really? What kind?

Um, I think it was a 1987 Ferrari.

Blue. Or was it green?

I'm blue.

Maybe I just got to tell you something.

These last couple days have been good. Great.

Especially last night when we, uh... I've lost contact.

Oh, right at the good part.

Why are you sitting there? She could be in trouble.

Maybe I should get up.

I got it back. I got it back.

Justin, let's not talk about last night anymore.

Okay. You're right.

Why talk about it when we can... Huh.

We live it.

Justin, you're so impetuous.

Come on, let's sit down.

Let's talk.

Talk? Talk about what?

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

This is my good side.

Baby, you don't have a bad side.

But, Justin, I hardly know anything about you.

Well, you don't want to hear about me.

Yes, I do, and speak clearly. I don't want to miss a word.

Well, uh...

I went to college for a while, and I was on the track team.

I was very good and very fast.

Nobody could ever catch me, so I figured running was my future.

And you've been running ever since?

No.

I've been a few places and spent some time.

Three years here, a year and a day there.

What are you doing?

Doing? Well, uh -uh. I think he's wise to her.

I'm on to you.

I know what you're up to.

Now, that's it.

You want your surprise?

What surprise?

The one I promised you.

You promised little old me a surprise?

Oh, no. I'm probably talking about some other one. No, it's me.

Okay, baby.

I think this is it.

I couldn't make up my mind what to get you, so I brought a little collection.

What happens, I want you to know, I think I love you.

Pretty, aren't they?

Got me at a good price.

Picked them up almost next to nothing.

Ooh, diamonds, rubies.

A piece of glass from a broken window.

Baby, you can have anything that you want.

Please, hold it. Get your hands up. You're going to do this hair, Sandra.

Not her, you, crumb bag.

Me. Hey, the lady was trying to sell me some jewels.

Hey, they're all nice, baby, but no thanks. You're not going anywhere.

We got the whole thing on tape.

You're all right, Sandra.

Sandra? You set me up. Come on. So help me.

I'm going to get you.

Sandra, are you all right?

Get out of the way.

You got a frog in the back.

Sandra, are you all right?

Don't worry. They'll catch him.

Oh, they'll never catch him. Running is his specialty.

Sandra, you'll be all right. No, I won't. And it's all your fault.

Oh, honey, I feel so guilty.

This whole mess with Sondra was my fault.

Oh, don't blame yourself.

All you did was make her call the police.

Yeah, you're right.

And then all of you helped Justin escape when you got in the way of the cops.

You know, Lester, comfort is not your strong point.

Let's forget about the whole thing. All I want is a special night with my wife.

Yeah, tonight is our night. Yeah.

Oh,

don't worry, honey. I'll get rid of him.

If you don't, I will.

Mary. Mary.

There's a man standing across the street looking at my apartment. Go look.

Sandra, that is the doorman to the condo.

Are you sure?

Crooks do not stand on the corner with big red jackets with gold braids on

shoulders.

How do you know it's the real doorman?

Maybe he's tied up somewhere in an alley, tossed in a trash can with a

it, and a big ugly cat sitting on it.

Did you get a hold of yourself?

Oh, Mary, I'm sorry. You know, I can't even think. I can't eat.

I haven't eaten anything all day.

All day and night.

Sergeant, the two of us are having an intimate, romantic evening. These two.

Oh, no.

I can be your technical advisor.

Sandra. Sandra, it's getting late.

Oh, this tea is so delicious.

It's been a joy having you.

Good night.

But I haven't finished with my tea yet.

Take it with you.

Oh, come on, y 'all. Let's stay up and talk. You know, the older you get, the

less sleep you need.

Speak for yourself.

Good night.

Okay.

You got any satin sheets?

You are not sleeping on the couch.

Well, Mary, I couldn't take your bedroom.

You got that right.

That's him. That's him. Call the police.

Sandra, if it was him, would he bother to knock?

The Boston Strangler did.

Maybe you better get him.

Mary, it's Pearl.

Oh, wait, Alexa.

Pearl, how old are you?

41. That's Pearl.

Oh, there you are, Sandra. I went up to check on you and you weren't there, and

I was worried. Oh, thanks, Pearl.

Pearl, how about letting me stay with you? You crazy?

He might aim at you and hit me.

Oh, Mary.

Mary, you're my last hope. Even the cops have deserted me. They said they'd keep

an eye on me, but a cup of coffee and a donut and you'd never see them again.

Why don't you call one of your big, strong boyfriends to come and protect

I don't get an answer.

Justin's probably knocking them off one by one.

You're safe.

That's a cast of thousands.

Mary, please, I'm begging you. Don't let me go up to that apartment where I'll

be alone. Let me stay down here with you and that's all, please.

Well, our bedroom is still private.

Oh, all right. Take Brenda's room. No, I'll stay right here on the couch.

There's more places to run.

I'll just go get my nightie. I'll be right back.

Don't get anything that lights up.

Did you lock the door?

I sure did.

You know, we haven't locked that door since Brenda was five.

And used to come in every two minutes.

Sandra.

Act like she's not here.

Mary, I can't be romantic when it sounds like halftime at the Rose Bowl.

Okay, I'll be right back.

Sandra. Oh, hi, Mary. I hope your evening was fun.

I'm watching the Marine Market Band.

Not in my living room, you're not.

It is time to go to sleep.

Oh, come on, Mary. A good movie's coming on. I miss all the love and romance.

If you don't go to sleep, I'll miss all the love and romance.

You know, Mary, I really am afraid. I really am.

Okay, I'm going in the kitchen and make you some tea. Then perhaps... You'll

calm down and go to sleep.

Thank you.

You ruined my booby trap.

You are a booby trap.

Good night.

Oh, Mary, don't go now. I could be dead before you come out. You could be dead

before I leave.

having a Tupperware party?

Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Sandra is driving me crazy.

Where were we?

You don't remember where we were?

Right about here.

I sure am glad you got Sandra calmed down.

Yeah. You know, she's petrified.

Thinks Justin's gonna sneak in and get her.

Well, you never know. There are a lot of nuts running around loose out there.

Oh, honey, do you really think?

Now, you got Sandra relaxed. Am I gonna have to get you relaxed?

Yeah.

Here.

What happened to the bubbles?

They went home at midnight.

Okay, okay.

No more Sandra, no more police, no more justice.

Just you and me.

What was that?

What?

Somebody's in the living room.

Sandra is in the living room.

Somebody else is in there. Honey, go see.

I might as well. Nothing's happening in here.

If you're not back in two minutes, I'm calling the lawyer.

This is just Sandra talking in her sleep.

Sounds like she's making a deal with some millionaire.

Ma,

are you asleep?

Ma.

I must really love you, woman.

Sandra, we've been sitting here for three hours. We gotta leave. No, no. No,

no. It's all Mary's fault. She kicked me out.

Come on, one more song.

Summertime.

Y 'all know this one?

Sandra, the Supremes broke up and we are next. Bye.

Come on. We haven't even played dominoes yet.

You don't have any dominoes. We make them out of single cubes.

Sandra, open the door. I can't. I lost the key.

You're lying, Sandra.

Okay. I swallowed it.

It's in your purse.

Oh, no.

Give me.

I'll get it. Don't answer it.

It's Mary. I want to see if you're all right.

Mary, how old are you?

Open the darn door.

Mary.

Are you okay?

Hi, Mary.

How is it on the outside?

Now, that is ridiculous.

Everything is fine. Open the door.

Why not just put me in front of a firing squad?

Don't tempt me.

Now, go ahead. Prove it to yourself.

Open the door.

Come on, come on. You can do it. You can do it.

Hey,

Sandra. Oh, hi, honey.

Mary, I thought you'd be here.

Oh, honey, I'll be right down.

Last chance.

I leave tomorrow.

Dead flowers and jelly beans?

The romance is fading.

Sandra, I don't want you anywhere near my apartment ever again. Okay, okay. I

suppose you're right. Oh, Justin's probably a thousand miles away by now.

Two thousand.

I guess I have been acting like a child, huh?

Right. Well, I want to thank you all for your patience and your understanding

with me.

Sandra, behind you. Oh, Mary, come on. Y 'all don't have to test me. I'm okay.

Look, Justin's probably shaking under some rock in Mexico somewhere, that

Who you calling a creep?

Mary, how'd you do that?

I told you I was coming back, Sandra.

Hello. My name is Mary.

Sandra told us so much about you. You know, my husband's looking for a watch.

Could you recommend something cheap?

Shut up and get out of my way, woman.

Okay.

If you want to get to Sandra, you got to come to Mary and Rose first.

My name is Gloria.

Have it your way.

I'll hold it right there.

Watch him. You were under surveillance all along, Miss Clark.

You don't have any trouble from him again.

You're not getting away this time.

Get him. Mary, is everybody all right? Oh.

You okay?

Now that you're here.

Oh, Mary Rose Pearl, I'll tell you, I'm so glad you were here. It is nice to

have somebody you can count on.

Look, just do me one favor. Oh, anything.

Next time you date somebody, fingerprint them first.