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1
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You got a first -class bunco scam going
here. What I deal in is fame.
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It's a disgusting way to make a dollar.
You got a problem with Catholics?
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Friends should never discuss religion.
Unless you can prove that there's no
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afterlife, I haven't broken any law. The
woman's a screwball.
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I want her head on a platter with an
apple in her mouth. Maybe one of us
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die, and then if there's no afterlife,
the other one could go arrest her.
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Anybody who is sane knows she's guilty,
but there's not a damn thing that we can
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do about it.
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00:02:02,251 --> 00:02:08,418
I was thinking about going as a
stockbroker, but if someone asked me
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bonds, I'd be sunk. Or I could go as a
doctor, assuming no one asks advice.
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00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:14,920
Or you could go as a cop. You might be
able to pull that off. Or a
12
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I work with a lunatic fringe.
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Sergeant, don't you think you're going a
little overboard here? Come on, when I
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go back to my high school reunion, I
have certain expectations to meet.
15
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I tell Peppermint it's going to be
there. Oh, that makes a big difference.
16
00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:28,419
Come on, she was the prettiest
cheerleader at Teaneck High.
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Aha.
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00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,850
Is that who you're hiding your badge
from? I am not hiding anything.
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I think I could go as a dentist.
20
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Times have changed, Mary Beth. You don't
have to break out a ball gown to go to
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the theater anymore.
22
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Dressing down is the sign of an
individual.
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At least I could get a new pair of
pantyhose.
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00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,280
I can make Macy's before they close.
25
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,800
Excuse me, Detective Lacey.
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I've got a customer for you.
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Moffat. Nathan Moffat. How do you do?
I'm Sergeant Cagney.
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It's my wife, Shirley.
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She's emptying our joint account.
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The barrel's a wedlock, Mr. Moffitt. If
it's her to withdraw illegally, sir, we
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can't stop her.
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But you've got to.
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00:03:09,771 --> 00:03:12,819
Somebody's got to. At the rate she's
paying that con woman, we're going to
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up broke.
35
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,479
How much money's involved, Mr. Moffitt?
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$1 ,250 already and no end in sight.
37
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I mean, how many messages can she send?
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I don't know, sir.
39
00:03:23,860 --> 00:03:26,750
Why don't you sit down and we'll start
from the beginning.
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What kind of messages?
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To her brother, Ira.
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Alive and with a pain in the neck.
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Six feet under and still causing him
grief.
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Mr. Moffat, your wife is paying money to
have messages sent to her dead brother?
45
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Yeah. Divine courier. That's what she
calls her service.
46
00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:52,460
A three -ball whipple. That's what I
call it.
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I mean, some people, they got no heart.
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You know what I mean?
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Well, Detective Lacey will take your
information.
50
00:04:01,370 --> 00:04:02,420
Mr. Muggan?
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00:04:04,270 --> 00:04:08,149
It's the American way. Find a need and
fill it. It's a disgusting way to make a
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00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:10,170
dollar. Most people won't buy anything.
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They think they need it, they'll sell it
to themselves.
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00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:15,789
My neighbor Tony, he went to a palm
reader. He swears that every one of her
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predictions came true.
56
00:04:17,370 --> 00:04:19,230
She was wrong and he got his money back.
57
00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:23,749
Not easily. She's serving time on a
credit card fraud. But he said that she
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tremendous insight.
59
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:26,870
Do you believe any of that stuff?
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No. It depends on the stuff.
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Very bad.
62
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What are you doing? Are you crazy?
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Hey, don't worry.
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00:04:36,050 --> 00:04:37,100
Huh.
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I'm not.
66
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Why tempt the faith?
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I'm a legitimate businesswoman.
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Those business happens to be sending
messages to dead people.
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00:04:51,410 --> 00:04:53,270
I think 50 words or less.
70
00:04:53,770 --> 00:04:55,570
It's original. I'll give you that.
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00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:02,660
The way I see it, the real tragedy of
death is the sense of things left
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Things we neglect to say to our loved
ones before it's too late.
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What I offer is a second chance.
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I can't begin to express the
satisfaction it brings me. At $250 a
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must be pretty satisfying.
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00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:22,139
Look, lady, we both know you're running
this game here, so why don't you just
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00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:24,910
give Mrs. Moffat back her money? Oh,
that's impossible.
78
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:29,079
She has five messages posted, and I
already have the couriers assigned and
79
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:30,880
for. What'd you do, hire some angels?
80
00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:32,270
No.
81
00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:33,710
Terminal patients.
82
00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:40,560
Let me understand this. You hire people
who are dying to deliver these messages?
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That's right.
84
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,000
Well, you can check it out.
85
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And they're paid $50 for each one they
deliver. Do they call you from the great
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beyond to verify delivery?
87
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,360
Ladies, ladies.
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What I deal in is faith.
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Faith that our couriers will get the
message across.
90
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,060
That there isn't a cross to get to.
91
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:11,780
Well, if you don't believe that, if you
have no faith,
92
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:17,140
well, I feel sorry for you.
93
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:22,610
Mr. Moramitz.
94
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:26,330
How did this woman contact you to make
these deliveries?
95
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:32,319
Word gets around. My friend Berkovitz,
he told me about this Meshuggah woman
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00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,820
that's offering money to people about to
check out.
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I may be a Marxist, but a buck is a
buck.
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00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:45,339
With due respect, sir, you don't seem
very confident about getting these
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messages delivered.
100
00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:49,040
Well, let's put it this way.
101
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:54,970
When I go... I don't expect Gabriel to
come greet me with a slide trombone.
102
00:06:56,110 --> 00:07:02,070
If she's willing to pay for my Smirnoff
and cigars, who am I to refuse?
103
00:07:02,810 --> 00:07:04,730
She pay you by check or by cash?
104
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:08,170
Do I look like a greenhorn?
105
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Strictly cash.
106
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:13,010
Any receipts to show payment, sir?
107
00:07:13,590 --> 00:07:15,230
Receipts? What for?
108
00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:19,290
It's not like I'm going to be around
next year to pay taxes.
109
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:22,960
Do you think I'm kidding here?
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00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:26,900
Sir, for all we know, you and Miss Dewey
could be in cahoots. Cahoots?
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00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,520
I'd rather test ice picks for Trotsky.
112
00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:33,800
The woman's a screwball.
113
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You realize that she makes me memorize
all these messages and then comes around
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later and has me recite them? On the
other hand, it's a good way to make her
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services look legit.
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In a capitalist society,
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Anything is possible.
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Nothing is legit.
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Nothing, Kate.
120
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:01,339
She's a small -time grifter. That's not
what I call it. You heard more of it.
121
00:08:01,340 --> 00:08:03,200
She's laughing all the way to the bank.
122
00:08:03,260 --> 00:08:06,990
Uh -huh. We cannot prove that her
clients aren't getting what they're paid
123
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:08,490
You said it yourself.
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00:08:08,491 --> 00:08:12,299
People get manipulated because they want
to be. Nobody puts a gun to their head.
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They all have a choice.
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Don't tell me about choice. When my
mother was dying, they came crawling out
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00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:19,819
the woodwork. This one and that one all
trying to sell some religious bill of
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goods.
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Bunch of scavengers.
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00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,250
Here, Peggy.
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Are you there now?
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Okay, Kenny, listen, do me a favor and
hold until I can get there.
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We'll try, all right?
134
00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:41,609
I'm on my way.
135
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,880
Charlie? On the floor at Flannery's.
136
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You finish my files for me?
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Sure.
138
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,070
Hell with her.
139
00:09:11,071 --> 00:09:15,029
I mean, not wanting to marry me is one
thing. There you go. She's refusing to
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see me.
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00:09:16,081 --> 00:09:19,189
She thinks I'm going to come groveling.
She's got another thing coming. Close
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00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:21,649
the cup, Pop. Please, it's the last
thing you need. A woman walks out and a
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ain't worth nothing, no how, no way.
144
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Right. Down the hatch.
145
00:09:25,010 --> 00:09:26,060
It's hot.
146
00:09:26,101 --> 00:09:28,169
Sip it, Charlie.
147
00:09:28,170 --> 00:09:29,220
All right, sip it.
148
00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:31,710
Oh, Chrissy, what am I going to do?
149
00:09:32,270 --> 00:09:33,650
I don't want to lose her.
150
00:09:33,651 --> 00:09:38,609
Give it some time, Pop. Maybe Donna will
change her mind. I told you it's all
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00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:40,230
over. She said she had enough of me.
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00:09:40,950 --> 00:09:43,110
She didn't want to be dragged down with
me.
153
00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:46,550
I won't drag her down any place. I just
want to be with her.
154
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,910
So why don't you call her up? Tell her
how you feel. What good would it do?
155
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:53,580
She won't listen to me.
156
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:56,940
She doesn't believe in me anymore.
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00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:00,470
I do, Rob.
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00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:07,920
Hey, wait a minute.
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00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:09,630
Wait a minute.
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00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,660
She might listen to somebody else.
161
00:10:12,270 --> 00:10:16,060
Uh -uh, Charlie. No, I mean somebody who
cares enough to try and convince her.
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00:10:16,061 --> 00:10:19,749
No way. Forget it. But, honey, why not?
I mean, you're my daughter. If anybody
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00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:20,910
could do it, you could.
164
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:23,849
Charlie, don't drag me into this. It's
not fair. Please.
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00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:24,900
Fair?
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00:10:25,190 --> 00:10:27,130
Who the hell do you know about fair?
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00:10:27,131 --> 00:10:32,589
You never even wanted this relationship
to work. You never liked Donna from the
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first place.
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00:10:33,641 --> 00:10:36,829
She didn't mind what was best for you.
You never gave her a chance. You always
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thought you were better than she is.
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Get out.
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You know what you are.
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You know what you are?
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You're a snob.
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Just like your mother.
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I don't give a damn what you say. I'm
not going to have you blackmail me into
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fixing your life. Yeah, sure.
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00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:58,220
Don't do your poor old daddy favors.
179
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,920
See, the show should let out about 10.
180
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:15,760
We should be home 10 .30, 10 .40 tops,
huh?
181
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,360
Unless we stop at some cozy little
bistro for coffee after.
182
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:25,220
If we don't waste any time, we should
have Mom home 11, 11 .15 tops.
183
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,120
Harvey, I'm talking romance here.
184
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:32,079
You're going to miss a couple of minutes
of Joan Rivers. It's not a big deal.
185
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,400
Maybe Mom feels different.
186
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,570
What do you mean?
187
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:40,299
I hope those seats are on the aisle.
What would Muriel feel different about?
188
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,890
Did I tell you that Artie and Franny
love this show?
189
00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:44,390
Of course.
190
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,960
She wants some time off to herself.
191
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,000
How much time are we talking?
192
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:52,660
Three days a week.
193
00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:55,320
For how long? For good.
194
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:02,930
Thank you.
195
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,300
Harvey. Thank you, pal. I work. You
work.
196
00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:18,800
Who's gonna look after the baby?
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00:12:19,140 --> 00:12:21,190
I don't know. We'll figure something
out.
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00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,300
Boys can't give it a rest, can they?
199
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,950
They're always at each other's throat.
Honey, it is not the kids.
200
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,200
It's the schlep on the subway.
201
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,140
I could hire one of those cab services.
202
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:33,459
The fare from her apartment couldn't be
that terrible.
203
00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:36,659
For God's sakes, Mary Beth, she needs
some time to herself. She's not just a
204
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,720
babysitter. She has a life of her own.
205
00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:42,900
I'll talk to her. I already did. That's
enough.
206
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,120
It's enough waiting, don't you think?
207
00:12:46,121 --> 00:12:49,839
It's hard enough for her to bring this
up in the first place. We'll just have
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00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,040
deal with it, that's all.
209
00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:53,639
Probably we're being jerks here. What?
210
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,110
The people with tickets are walking
straight in.
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00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,480
Oh. Go ahead.
212
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:04,430
Very sporty.
213
00:13:04,980 --> 00:13:06,540
Makes you look 20 years younger.
214
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:08,220
25 if you're sucking your gut.
215
00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:11,220
You don't think the hair is too much?
216
00:13:16,899 --> 00:13:20,680
Zero misdemeanor. Here we go. The piece
de resistance.
217
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:24,100
And in 1998, a variant of steel.
218
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:26,310
A girdle.
219
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:28,120
It's not a girdle, Becky.
220
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:29,370
It's a tummy tuck.
221
00:13:29,371 --> 00:13:32,859
Guaranteed to make his high school
cronies think he's an Adonis. Okay, so
222
00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:33,859
it feel?
223
00:13:33,860 --> 00:13:35,479
Terrific, if you don't have to breathe.
224
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,710
You breathe when the cheerleader goes
home.
225
00:13:38,171 --> 00:13:42,559
Claudia thought it was one of the better
ones.
226
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:46,519
They've got educational toys and outdoor
playgrounds. And they don't even serve
227
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:47,559
hot meals.
228
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,239
You better brace yourself, Mary Beth.
There's not a lot out there to choose
229
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:54,439
from. But the staff, they like their
job. They enjoy being with the kids.
230
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,319
see what you think yourself. Give the
director a call.
231
00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:57,370
Thank you.
232
00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,400
No, Mark, I'm fine, really.
233
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:05,699
Just something came up and I'm... Yes, I
know that Bill Collins doesn't come
234
00:14:05,700 --> 00:14:06,750
here very often.
235
00:14:06,751 --> 00:14:12,219
Look, I wish I could get out of it. I
just can't. It's a family thing, and you
236
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:13,079
know how that is.
237
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:14,880
Yeah, I'll take a rain check, though.
238
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:16,820
I'll talk to you later, then.
239
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,150
Thanks, Mark.
240
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:19,290
Bye.
241
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:20,910
What family thing?
242
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,580
Gerald wants to see me for dinner
tonight.
243
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,980
You're a good daughter, Christine.
244
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,600
And I can see his hands on the dribble.
245
00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:36,810
Danny, what's the status on that fraud
investigation?
246
00:14:38,949 --> 00:14:40,149
Peggy, you with us here?
247
00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:43,030
Hmm. All right, Lieutenant.
248
00:14:43,031 --> 00:14:46,109
The delivery service to the dead, your
job, one of the cases you're supposed to
249
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:49,240
be working on? The fake Dewey case, sir.
We're doing what we can.
250
00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:53,369
Considering we can't find a crime yet,
we're going to check with special fraud,
251
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,360
sir. Good. I want that swindler shut
down.
252
00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:56,889
You're not the only one, sir.
253
00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:59,960
You're right on that. I'm getting a lot
of calls from downtown.
254
00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:04,970
Something we can do for you, Miss Becky?
255
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:07,510
No, I was just passing by.
256
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,770
Throw some guilt at her. She'll come
around.
257
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:26,059
No, she won't. She'll suck her son on
me. Believe me, in the right hand, guilt
258
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:28,100
and obligation are very powerful tools.
259
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:30,960
He broke a date with him. Big deal.
260
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:32,920
Who is this Mark person, anyway?
261
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:39,339
Another lawyer. A personal injury
lawyer, no less. What attractive, huh?
262
00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:40,390
-huh.
263
00:15:42,380 --> 00:15:45,990
Okay, so he makes Paul Newman look like
a troll. But I can see him any time,
264
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:49,819
right? Not with Phil Collins there in
there, if I'm happy out of way. Well,
265
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:51,939
again, Charlie's the only family that's
happy.
266
00:15:51,940 --> 00:15:52,990
Right.
267
00:15:52,991 --> 00:15:58,099
You know, if you hang family distress in
front of Muriel, maybe she'll talk some
268
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:00,999
of her friends at you. They'd be
thrilled if you asked. Old people really
269
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:01,799
that stuff.
270
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,099
I bet if you saw Charlie early enough,
you could get to the closet by
271
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:07,839
intermission, and I'm sure that Mark
would be very happy to meet you there.
272
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:08,890
Yeah, maybe.
273
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,210
Only Charlie may want to come over after
dinner and talk a little.
274
00:16:12,211 --> 00:16:15,519
You know, maybe if you tell Muriel that
the kids need her guidance.
275
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,570
For special touch.
276
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,380
Maybe you can put Charlie in a cab.
277
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:20,690
Maybe.
278
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:22,950
Bad chance.
279
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:24,370
You got it.
280
00:16:24,371 --> 00:16:27,479
Catches up a busy little bee here.
281
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,840
This divine courier's been winning fans
all over town.
282
00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:35,330
I take it we're not alone in this
investigation?
283
00:16:35,331 --> 00:16:39,399
You take it right. I've had six teams of
detectives in here already. Each one
284
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,900
more frustrated than the last.
285
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,880
I even had a call from Inspector Nelman.
286
00:16:42,881 --> 00:16:46,529
Well, there's no yellow sheet on him. We
ran it through the computer. Name an M
287
00:16:46,530 --> 00:16:52,169
.O. What an M .O.? I mean, it isn't
enough that she advertises in the
288
00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:53,220
section.
289
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:56,809
One complainant even claims that she
approached him while he was in the
290
00:16:56,810 --> 00:16:58,670
laying flowers on his mother's grave.
291
00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:03,430
Another time, she interrupted the
cottage service to hand out business
292
00:17:07,849 --> 00:17:09,709
Gotta give her points for initiative.
293
00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:12,820
Some initiative's taking more than it's
to the cleaners.
294
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:15,130
Oh, detective.
295
00:17:15,131 --> 00:17:18,959
Believe me, I got a whole list of
grifters that I'd like to nail. Some of
296
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,010
are on TV.
297
00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:21,860
Some are in political office.
298
00:17:23,819 --> 00:17:25,440
My hands are tied on this one.
299
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,250
So are yours.
300
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,080
I understand, Mrs.
301
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,570
Goldschlager. Do you have any other
friends?
302
00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:38,460
I already tried her neighbor.
303
00:17:38,461 --> 00:17:43,179
Well, to tell the truth, we're coming up
a little empty on the Dewey case.
304
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:44,920
Thought maybe you guys could help?
305
00:17:45,180 --> 00:17:46,230
Uh -huh.
306
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,450
I understand.
307
00:17:47,451 --> 00:17:50,979
You too? I thought you Brooklyn Bumper
Busters were such hot shots.
308
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:54,279
What about that friend you and Muriel
went to Atlantic City with?
309
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,330
Uh -huh.
310
00:17:55,331 --> 00:17:56,239
Aerobics, huh?
311
00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:57,290
Yeah.
312
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:58,610
Three times a day?
313
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,900
Yes. Invigorating.
314
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:06,099
Yes. Well, if you hear of anybody that
you think might be interested, I... Uh
315
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:08,240
-huh. Thank you, Mrs. Goldschweiger.
316
00:18:09,290 --> 00:18:10,340
Goodbye.
317
00:18:10,970 --> 00:18:13,810
I know my ship is bound to come in,
Grady.
318
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:16,840
I'm getting a little cold and damp
waiting at the dock.
319
00:18:18,790 --> 00:18:19,840
Lizzie?
320
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,650
Got a call you might be interested in.
321
00:18:22,651 --> 00:18:26,329
There's turbans peep over the St.
Beatrice Hospice involving your fraud
322
00:18:26,330 --> 00:18:27,380
Faith, do we?
323
00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:28,800
For one and only.
324
00:18:29,710 --> 00:18:30,760
Thank you.
325
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:32,460
Yeah.
326
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:36,320
I'll get back to you, Grady. Just got a
call from the harbor man.
327
00:18:36,321 --> 00:18:42,199
I'm sorry to bother you like this, but
it's my first experience with a hostage
328
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:45,560
situation. When did it start, Ms.
Benito? About a half an hour ago.
329
00:18:45,561 --> 00:18:48,859
Things like this shouldn't be allowed to
happen here. Dying patients have a
330
00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:51,459
right to their tranquility. If they'd
want to fight, they could go to the
331
00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:52,510
garden.
332
00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:13,429
I want you to arrest that lunatic for
assault and battery. Can you stay away
333
00:19:13,430 --> 00:19:15,389
from my mother? You hear me, parasites?
334
00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:18,910
That, my friend, is entirely up to your
mother.
335
00:19:19,170 --> 00:19:22,390
Come on, you're the rest here. That's
what you are. Come on.
336
00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:24,810
Calm down and keep your hands to
yourself.
337
00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:26,710
What is going on here? You first.
338
00:19:27,010 --> 00:19:31,309
This vulture's been hanging around,
bloodsucking my mother and arresting
339
00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:32,360
fossils.
340
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:36,050
Bloodsucking. I am offering these people
gang...
341
00:19:53,511 --> 00:19:59,319
But if it makes you feel better, we
currently have Faith Dewey under
342
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,580
investigation for fraud.
343
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:04,299
I should have done more to her. I should
have belted her right in her
344
00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:08,319
sanctimonious smile. Well, you're lucky
that you didn't, because all you got
345
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:12,239
right now is disorderly conduct. If Miss
Dewey decides to pursue this matter
346
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,960
further. I'm too busy for this.
347
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:19,880
I've got over a hundred messages and
only six couriers to do the delivering.
348
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,440
Fifteen messages apiece.
349
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:25,610
That's a heavy load to haul into
paradise.
350
00:20:25,611 --> 00:20:29,649
You really think I'm a fraud, don't you,
Sergeant?
351
00:20:29,650 --> 00:20:34,109
Oh, come on, Dewey. Show a little pride,
will you? You got a first -class bunco
352
00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:35,160
scam going here.
353
00:20:35,410 --> 00:20:37,640
It's probably one of the best I've ever
seen.
354
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:44,769
You know, maybe if you were less cynical
and more spiritual, you'd realize
355
00:20:44,770 --> 00:20:45,820
what I offer.
356
00:20:45,890 --> 00:20:47,730
But she's killing my mother.
357
00:20:47,731 --> 00:20:51,269
Mrs. Gorlick, attempted murder is going
to be quite... She's beating her
358
00:20:51,270 --> 00:20:54,100
chocolate when she's supposed to be on a
bland diet. Then...
359
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:06,009
talking about real faith the kind people
think and never find i'm not in
360
00:21:06,010 --> 00:21:10,669
all their churches not from their priest
their pope their baby you leave the
361
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:16,369
pope out of it okay don't tell me you
were raised by nuns sergeant
362
00:21:16,370 --> 00:21:22,929
you got a problem with catholics people
need more than a man in a white robe
363
00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:27,710
waving at his flock from a limousine
they need a reason to believe
364
00:21:29,450 --> 00:21:36,190
And that's just what I provide with the
help of my wonderful dying friends.
365
00:21:38,690 --> 00:21:42,689
That would be up to the district
attorney, but chances are you're going
366
00:21:42,690 --> 00:21:44,370
to settle for harassment charges.
367
00:21:45,490 --> 00:21:46,540
Harassment?
368
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:50,810
Well, that evil woman sucks the life
from my mother.
369
00:21:53,890 --> 00:21:57,450
Can you imagine all the questions
they'll have for me?
370
00:21:57,770 --> 00:21:58,820
White guy.
371
00:21:59,180 --> 00:22:01,520
Did my grandson get into law school?
372
00:22:02,740 --> 00:22:04,600
Has my partner lost the business?
373
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,880
Is Sophie still sleeping with the
Iceman?
374
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,220
Believe me, I'm earning every cent I
make.
375
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:17,760
Your daughter seems to think that Miss
Dewey is causing you some harm, Mrs.
376
00:22:17,860 --> 00:22:19,960
Osterman. Causing me harm?
377
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:22,540
At least she visits me.
378
00:22:23,060 --> 00:22:27,060
She pays more attention to me than my
own flesh and blood.
379
00:22:27,061 --> 00:22:30,299
So you don't feel harassed or taken
advantage of?
380
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:36,380
Oh, let me tell you something, young
lady. When I found out I was going to
381
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,760
I felt scared and empty.
382
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,880
And the Lord gave this woman like an
answer to a prayer.
383
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,720
She gave me more than just a job.
384
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:51,960
She gives us a purpose, something to die
for.
385
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:58,960
There he is, there he is, the new kid
I... the block. That's me, Charlie.
386
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,850
Esposito, Esposito. And you got any
relatives in County Cork?
387
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,640
Oh, about as many as you have in San
Juan.
388
00:23:06,180 --> 00:23:07,230
Hey,
389
00:23:07,231 --> 00:23:12,779
you're a funny kid. You know, back in
the old days, the only Puerto Ricans
390
00:23:12,780 --> 00:23:17,500
see in here being handcuffs. But now,
Ricans, Jews, Blacks, what is this
391
00:23:17,580 --> 00:23:18,630
the United Nations?
392
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:22,159
I remember the Irish used to run the
police force. Now the only Irish you got
393
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:23,299
around here are a couple of women.
394
00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:24,620
Nothing personal, family.
395
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,170
Here's the printout.
396
00:23:26,260 --> 00:23:27,820
Thanks. Spread those computers.
397
00:23:27,821 --> 00:23:31,109
There's another beauty for you. I used
to know cops that would get bunions the
398
00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:32,790
size of edgels chasing down leads.
399
00:23:33,090 --> 00:23:37,089
All you guys do now is push a button,
tear off a piece of paper, and bingo!
400
00:23:37,090 --> 00:23:38,290
your work is done for you.
401
00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:40,869
That's another way of getting
information, Charlie.
402
00:23:40,870 --> 00:23:44,849
Like a rubber hose, only not as messy.
Hey, don't knock the rubber hose, pal.
403
00:23:44,850 --> 00:23:48,049
my day, that thing got me more
convictions than all your floppy disks
404
00:23:48,050 --> 00:23:49,770
together. Hey, Ralphie!
405
00:23:50,710 --> 00:23:51,760
How are you?
406
00:23:53,790 --> 00:23:57,439
So I got to think, what if the stealth
tech... and drags me aside and wants me
407
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,910
to check her molars. The heck with being
a dentist.
408
00:23:59,911 --> 00:24:03,479
I'll be an optometrist. With all the
glasses I've had, I can fake my way
409
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:08,800
that. Oh, enough of crying out loud. It
is just a reunion. Have a little faith.
410
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:09,930
Be yourself.
411
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,200
I'm gonna be myself.
412
00:24:11,980 --> 00:24:14,150
I'm just gonna pretend I'm an
optometrist.
413
00:24:14,151 --> 00:24:17,479
Look, you don't understand my graduating
class. With all the doctors and lawyers
414
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,510
and professional types, they think that
being a cop is close to hauling garbage.
415
00:24:37,510 --> 00:24:39,389
What are
416
00:24:39,390 --> 00:24:52,249
they
417
00:24:52,250 --> 00:24:54,470
getting? Ripped off.
418
00:24:55,220 --> 00:24:58,480
Hi, it's about time you showed up. Hi,
Mary Beth. Hiya, Charlie.
419
00:24:58,481 --> 00:25:01,979
Hiya, Pop. What are you doing here?
Checking up on you, Sergeant, daughter.
420
00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:05,710
You know, you guys got a bunch of old
cases working here you ought to wrap up.
421
00:25:05,711 --> 00:25:07,659
You want to switch positions with me?
422
00:25:07,660 --> 00:25:08,710
Oh, yeah, sure.
423
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,300
Oh, I'm sorry to see you.
424
00:25:10,540 --> 00:25:11,590
Charlie. It's okay.
425
00:25:11,740 --> 00:25:15,480
Now, you sit down. I came by to take my
little girl to lunch. You weren't here,
426
00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:16,880
so I decided to wait.
427
00:25:16,881 --> 00:25:20,359
Well, I have a lot of work I have to
wrap up here, Charlie. Why don't I meet
428
00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:21,919
at the restaurant in a couple of hours?
429
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,360
Oh, hey, terrific, terrific.
430
00:25:26,890 --> 00:25:28,330
Have you talked to Donna yet?
431
00:25:28,490 --> 00:25:32,160
I haven't. I've been busy. Well, you've
still got her number, haven't you?
432
00:25:32,310 --> 00:25:34,350
5554. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm
done.
433
00:25:34,550 --> 00:25:37,450
Madam Ching, 6 o 'clock, right? Be there
or be square.
434
00:25:37,451 --> 00:25:40,349
Hate to run, but I've got to get to a U
.N. meeting.
435
00:25:40,350 --> 00:25:41,400
See you, Mary Beth.
436
00:25:46,050 --> 00:25:47,290
Ah, Sergeant.
437
00:25:48,210 --> 00:25:51,070
Ah, an act of conscience bring you here?
438
00:25:52,130 --> 00:25:54,250
No, Sergeant Cagney, a cab did.
439
00:25:55,050 --> 00:25:56,690
I have been barred from St.
440
00:25:57,010 --> 00:25:58,090
Beatrice's Hospital.
441
00:25:58,410 --> 00:26:00,090
That wasn't their rights, was it?
442
00:26:00,130 --> 00:26:04,690
Oh, I've been through this before. It's
harassment, pure and simple.
443
00:26:05,050 --> 00:26:07,340
Well, maybe who you want to talk to is a
lawyer.
444
00:26:07,970 --> 00:26:09,270
I already have.
445
00:26:09,550 --> 00:26:11,470
I am not guilty of anything.
446
00:26:12,290 --> 00:26:16,010
And you owe me the courtesy of
enlightening my accusers.
447
00:26:17,670 --> 00:26:21,629
Look, lady, I think you have us confused
with somebody who gives a damn about
448
00:26:21,630 --> 00:26:22,680
what it is you want.
449
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,950
Look, if I'd been doing anything wrong,
you would have arrested me, right?
450
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:32,020
Even if I admitted it's all a scam, what
could you do?
451
00:26:32,780 --> 00:26:36,160
Are you making a confession? Because I'd
be happy to take it down.
452
00:26:36,580 --> 00:26:38,340
Allow me to be candid.
453
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:44,400
Unless you can prove that there's no
afterlife, I haven't broken any law.
454
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:49,440
Irritating as that might be, detectives,
I suggest you keep it in mind.
455
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:56,799
Now, Unless you'd like to hear from my
lawyers, I expect you to make those
456
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:57,850
calls.
457
00:26:58,820 --> 00:26:59,870
Goodbye. Goodbye.
458
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:07,780
No doubt about it, we are definitely
persecuting that poor woman.
459
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,040
You know she's guilty.
460
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,580
I know she's guilty.
461
00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:21,259
Anybody who is sane knows she's guilty,
but there's not a damn thing that we can
462
00:27:21,260 --> 00:27:22,169
do about it.
463
00:27:22,170 --> 00:27:25,729
Maybe one of us could die, and then if
there's no afterlife, the other one
464
00:27:25,730 --> 00:27:26,780
go and arrest us.
465
00:27:33,410 --> 00:27:34,730
Did you ever find a sitter?
466
00:27:34,770 --> 00:27:35,820
No, not yet.
467
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:39,509
Petrie's daycare is all filled up, and
all of Muriel's friends are either busy
468
00:27:39,510 --> 00:27:40,560
or deceased.
469
00:27:40,610 --> 00:27:43,020
Oh, well, maybe we can send one of them
a message.
470
00:27:43,021 --> 00:27:47,069
People want to believe in something,
Christine. That's how come a con like
471
00:27:47,070 --> 00:27:48,069
has customers.
472
00:27:48,070 --> 00:27:49,570
Hey, I keep voting Republican.
473
00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:54,040
Let's not get into politics, okay?
474
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:56,800
I believe in me, Mary Beth.
475
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:04,560
Who do you believe in?
476
00:28:05,660 --> 00:28:06,710
My family.
477
00:28:07,340 --> 00:28:08,780
Do Genuflect or Harvey?
478
00:28:12,860 --> 00:28:16,160
I was speaking about our kids, the party
that keeps on going.
479
00:28:16,161 --> 00:28:21,449
So if you don't have any kids, you don't
have anything to believe in?
480
00:28:21,450 --> 00:28:24,110
No, I didn't say that. Well, what?
481
00:28:25,270 --> 00:28:28,330
I believe in the good part of people.
482
00:28:28,810 --> 00:28:33,910
The part... That's the best part that we
are able to be.
483
00:28:34,530 --> 00:28:35,580
The gospel.
484
00:28:36,850 --> 00:28:38,130
According to Walt Disney.
485
00:28:41,030 --> 00:28:46,370
Christine, there are reasons why friends
should never discuss religion.
486
00:29:11,630 --> 00:29:15,590
Mary Beth, pushing our problem back on
mom will not solve it.
487
00:29:15,591 --> 00:29:18,809
Did you like those places we looked at
tonight?
488
00:29:18,810 --> 00:29:19,860
They weren't so bad.
489
00:29:20,610 --> 00:29:24,789
You want to sell for not so bad? Maybe
we could work it up to so -so if your
490
00:29:24,790 --> 00:29:26,110
mother'd give us some time.
491
00:29:26,470 --> 00:29:28,630
She's already given us 16 years, babe.
492
00:29:30,870 --> 00:29:35,649
How am I supposed to send my baby away
from our home and stick it with a bunch
493
00:29:35,650 --> 00:29:37,570
of people she doesn't know? Your baby?
494
00:29:38,190 --> 00:29:39,570
What are you talking about?
495
00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:43,409
You think I don't love our baby? You
think I don't want a home with us all
496
00:29:43,410 --> 00:29:47,729
time? I do, as much as you do. But we
are not millionaires. We are regular
497
00:29:47,730 --> 00:29:51,230
people with a fat mortgage. We both have
to work for a living.
498
00:29:51,650 --> 00:29:56,389
So we send our kid to strangers during
the day. So does everybody else. That is
499
00:29:56,390 --> 00:30:00,409
life in the big city. So you can go
ahead. You can blame Muriel. You can
500
00:30:00,410 --> 00:30:04,270
me. You could blame the ceiling if you
want to. But it doesn't change anything.
501
00:30:06,550 --> 00:30:09,030
I'm sorry, Harvey. I'm not blaming you
or Muriel.
502
00:30:11,340 --> 00:30:14,650
Marybeth, I'm sorry, too. I don't even
know what I'm yelling at you.
503
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:18,690
Not only Alan.
504
00:30:18,691 --> 00:30:21,639
Who's going to be home for the boys when
school is out?
505
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:22,860
Harvey. He's old enough.
506
00:30:22,861 --> 00:30:26,179
You really think he's going to come
rushing home to take care of his little
507
00:30:26,180 --> 00:30:27,230
brother? Yeah.
508
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:31,999
Some days it'll be his job. Other days,
Michael will go to the boys' club or the
509
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:32,979
Y.
510
00:30:32,980 --> 00:30:34,240
We'll work out a schedule.
511
00:30:35,660 --> 00:30:36,710
Yeah.
512
00:30:37,460 --> 00:30:38,640
It'll be fine, babe.
513
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,210
Honest. Yeah.
514
00:30:57,740 --> 00:31:01,360
I sat on that stool for three hours
because my new key didn't fit the lock.
515
00:31:02,180 --> 00:31:03,230
When?
516
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,660
What are you talking about?
517
00:31:07,020 --> 00:31:11,139
I was 11 years old, and I figured that
the guy in the dive store didn't file it
518
00:31:11,140 --> 00:31:14,800
down enough, so I kept rubbing it on the
sidewalk and trying it again.
519
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:19,970
And I swore up and down, when I have a
kid, I'm never going to leave the house.
520
00:31:23,820 --> 00:31:24,870
But, hey.
521
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:27,620
Everybody grows up, right?
522
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:31,920
Life gets complicated.
523
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,080
Yeah, that's me all right.
524
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,520
Before I lost the war with gravity.
525
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:54,980
Charlie, can you hear?
526
00:31:56,470 --> 00:31:58,030
No, it was my idea.
527
00:31:59,230 --> 00:32:00,280
I'll bet.
528
00:32:03,110 --> 00:32:04,230
How is he, anyhow?
529
00:32:06,410 --> 00:32:07,460
Thank you.
530
00:32:09,370 --> 00:32:11,850
Another hard night on the old barstool,
huh?
531
00:32:14,110 --> 00:32:15,850
Matter of fact, I just put him to bed.
532
00:32:17,750 --> 00:32:19,860
Look, this wasn't easy for me to come
here.
533
00:32:21,850 --> 00:32:23,070
But Charlie needs you.
534
00:32:24,290 --> 00:32:25,340
Though he says.
535
00:32:32,580 --> 00:32:34,420
Chris, your dad is an alcoholic.
536
00:32:34,900 --> 00:32:37,140
He drags the people closest to him down.
537
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,940
Well, I'm a survivor, honey.
538
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,160
I don't drown that easy.
539
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:45,460
Well, you don't want to help him, I'll
help him myself.
540
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,460
Oh, so what are you going to do?
541
00:32:47,820 --> 00:32:49,660
Keep searching for bottles?
542
00:32:50,180 --> 00:32:52,600
Keep scraping him up off the sawdust?
543
00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:54,880
He is working you.
544
00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:57,740
Just like he worked me. That's not true.
Oh, no?
545
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,500
Then why isn't he here?
546
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:05,600
A man pushing 70, sending his little
girl to do his job.
547
00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:10,980
Baby, you are not helping Charlie by
trying to rescue him.
548
00:33:11,220 --> 00:33:14,340
Nobody can help him unless he decides to
help himself.
549
00:33:16,100 --> 00:33:17,150
Chris.
550
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:22,200
The apple doesn't fall far from the
tree.
551
00:33:23,380 --> 00:33:25,610
What's that, one of your Al -Anon
homilies?
552
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:26,930
Look.
553
00:33:29,420 --> 00:33:30,960
We both love Charlie.
554
00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:37,600
But unless he faces his problems,
there's nothing you can do.
555
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,060
The hell there isn't.
556
00:33:51,940 --> 00:33:53,620
Any luck finding Quisper, Alice?
557
00:33:53,820 --> 00:33:56,770
Still looking. The place you told us
about was all filled up.
558
00:33:56,860 --> 00:33:59,000
Well, I know they have waiting lists.
559
00:33:59,001 --> 00:34:00,409
The better ones, anyway.
560
00:34:00,410 --> 00:34:02,430
Yeah, even the ones that are only okay.
561
00:34:02,431 --> 00:34:06,049
To say the truth, Marcus, I was not
impressed with any of the places we saw.
562
00:34:06,050 --> 00:34:08,880
All these kids crying, walking around
with wet diapers.
563
00:34:09,130 --> 00:34:10,210
Sound like home, huh?
564
00:34:10,310 --> 00:34:11,449
I hated the whole idea.
565
00:34:12,330 --> 00:34:15,700
You know, the first time I dropped
Lauren off, she didn't want to go.
566
00:34:15,710 --> 00:34:16,760
She started crying.
567
00:34:16,761 --> 00:34:21,129
I sat in the car watching Claudia drag
her inside, feeling like the worst
568
00:34:21,130 --> 00:34:22,180
in the world.
569
00:34:22,230 --> 00:34:23,889
Then, the weekend came.
570
00:34:24,469 --> 00:34:27,479
Lauren started crying because she
couldn't go on Saturday.
571
00:34:28,049 --> 00:34:29,489
Children are very resilient.
572
00:34:29,650 --> 00:34:30,700
More than parents.
573
00:34:32,530 --> 00:34:33,790
Good morning, Christine.
574
00:34:33,810 --> 00:34:36,790
We are up against a big, fat stone wall,
Mary Beth.
575
00:34:37,170 --> 00:34:39,030
Hi, good morning to you too, Mary Beth.
576
00:34:39,031 --> 00:34:42,229
I was just about to say that. I think we
should take a different tack on this
577
00:34:42,230 --> 00:34:46,349
Dewey business. Let's pay the DA a call.
Mary Beth, he cannot feel the case out
578
00:34:46,350 --> 00:34:48,809
of nothing. What I'm saying is we go
pick his brains.
579
00:34:48,810 --> 00:34:50,860
The silver, that ought to take all but
26.
580
00:34:51,550 --> 00:34:52,600
Got a better idea?
581
00:34:56,170 --> 00:34:59,720
Maybe he'll come up with something on
your blue log with your name on it.
582
00:35:00,150 --> 00:35:02,410
Like, smoky in front of a nun.
583
00:35:03,550 --> 00:35:06,080
Or two and a half in front of St.
Patrick's on Sunday.
584
00:35:06,510 --> 00:35:07,560
Whatever works.
585
00:35:10,130 --> 00:35:12,660
Patty, your father's on the phone. I'm
out the door.
586
00:35:17,610 --> 00:35:19,410
You have to tell him sometime, Chris.
587
00:35:21,090 --> 00:35:23,320
I'll tell him after the Knicks game
tonight.
588
00:35:23,820 --> 00:35:26,720
I break his heart now when I can break
it later, right?
589
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,400
Donna's not going to come back to him.
590
00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:36,940
Let him go, she tells me.
591
00:35:38,260 --> 00:35:41,150
Charlie is not my date. I just don't
break up with my father.
592
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,470
Nobody takes care of family like family,
right?
593
00:35:47,860 --> 00:35:48,940
Thank you, Christine.
594
00:35:51,210 --> 00:35:53,010
I didn't mean that the way it sounded.
595
00:35:53,011 --> 00:35:56,809
Maybe we could get an idea from one of
those Al -Anon meetings.
596
00:35:56,810 --> 00:35:58,070
Or you could go to Bermuda.
597
00:35:59,110 --> 00:36:00,160
What?
598
00:36:00,230 --> 00:36:01,280
Yeah, why not?
599
00:36:01,390 --> 00:36:04,849
Better yet, we could go to the
Caribbean. I hear it's very nice there
600
00:36:04,850 --> 00:36:05,900
of year.
601
00:36:06,510 --> 00:36:07,560
We?
602
00:36:08,110 --> 00:36:10,700
Well, I couldn't let you go by yourself,
Christine.
603
00:36:10,970 --> 00:36:12,650
Face it, you need me for your alibi.
604
00:36:15,630 --> 00:36:17,740
If you think undercover, let us buy a
week.
605
00:36:17,741 --> 00:36:21,749
We could go to one of those little
islands where nobody speaks English.
606
00:36:21,750 --> 00:36:23,970
Where nobody wears any clothes.
607
00:36:25,690 --> 00:36:28,280
We have to be walking in the direction
of LaGuardia.
608
00:36:28,910 --> 00:36:30,210
30 minutes, top.
609
00:36:30,810 --> 00:36:32,490
Plane probably leaves every hour.
610
00:36:33,570 --> 00:36:34,620
Sunsets, huh?
611
00:36:35,130 --> 00:36:37,390
Long, white, sandy beaches.
612
00:36:38,290 --> 00:36:40,550
Coconut drinks with little umbrellas.
613
00:36:41,070 --> 00:36:42,950
Swimming from lagoon to lagoon.
614
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,920
And the only exercise I'd get is
fluffing my towel to the side.
615
00:36:46,921 --> 00:36:50,259
Unless, of course, there was some
terribly handsome man lying next to me
616
00:36:50,260 --> 00:36:52,370
needed suntan lotion applied to his
back.
617
00:36:52,380 --> 00:36:54,120
I'd be more than happy to lend a hand.
618
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,750
By the time we get home, Harley will
have already found daycare.
619
00:36:57,760 --> 00:36:59,440
And Charlie will know about Donna.
620
00:37:01,860 --> 00:37:03,000
It's going to be so hurt.
621
00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:06,350
I don't think it's going to be very
strange.
622
00:37:07,220 --> 00:37:08,270
Maury.
623
00:37:08,271 --> 00:37:09,599
Maury, he's the one, right?
624
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,500
Who? Maury Stenbacher. He put you up to
this, right?
625
00:37:12,910 --> 00:37:14,190
Give us a break, Feldberg.
626
00:37:14,191 --> 00:37:17,309
It's just like that little prankster. I
mean, he's always hocking me for a cheap
627
00:37:17,310 --> 00:37:18,990
laugh. Hey, you can tell me, though.
628
00:37:19,310 --> 00:37:20,360
Where's the camera?
629
00:37:20,750 --> 00:37:22,490
You want to cut the vaudeville act?
630
00:37:22,590 --> 00:37:23,670
Hey, I will if you will.
631
00:37:24,130 --> 00:37:28,249
But look, I do want to thank you ladies
for transforming an otherwise boring day
632
00:37:28,250 --> 00:37:31,509
into one that borders on the ludicrous.
Mr. Feldberg, we're looking for some
633
00:37:31,510 --> 00:37:34,369
assistance here. Some direction you
think we might take?
634
00:37:34,370 --> 00:37:35,510
How about out the door?
635
00:37:35,910 --> 00:37:37,110
Oh, he's a professional.
636
00:37:37,570 --> 00:37:38,620
Look, look, look.
637
00:37:38,940 --> 00:37:44,139
I do want to help you nail, if you'll
excuse the pun, this little shepherd of
638
00:37:44,140 --> 00:37:47,980
our nearly departed to her holy pew, if
we have a case.
639
00:37:48,660 --> 00:37:53,239
I, however, do not operate the local
storefront for wayward detectives
640
00:37:53,240 --> 00:37:54,560
quick game of 20 questions.
641
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,860
And, ladies, you are supposedly officers
of the law.
642
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:00,660
It's not as slow as I thought.
643
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:03,300
Now, the key word here is law.
644
00:38:03,890 --> 00:38:08,769
Agni, now surely you have some vague
understanding, some inkling of the
645
00:38:08,770 --> 00:38:13,009
of jurisprudence. He's going to do this
anyway, isn't he? Some knowledge of the
646
00:38:13,010 --> 00:38:14,810
concept. We get the point.
647
00:38:14,811 --> 00:38:19,309
Look, you don't like the fact that she's
taking advantage of all these little
648
00:38:19,310 --> 00:38:20,590
old ladies. Neither do I.
649
00:38:21,310 --> 00:38:26,469
Unless it's my ex -mother -in -law, then
open season. I knew we could count on
650
00:38:26,470 --> 00:38:27,509
that.
651
00:38:27,510 --> 00:38:29,830
Look, look, this is not Dodge City.
652
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,890
And you can't lynch someone just because
you don't like their morality.
653
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:35,890
Case closed.
654
00:38:43,460 --> 00:38:49,820
I talked to her.
655
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:55,930
And?
656
00:38:57,540 --> 00:38:58,590
I won't come back.
657
00:38:59,821 --> 00:39:06,849
Come on, we'll try again in a couple of
days. Don will come around, you see.
658
00:39:06,850 --> 00:39:07,990
Not me.
659
00:39:07,991 --> 00:39:12,369
Hey, come on, Chrissy. Don't tell me
you're giving up that easy. I mean, what
660
00:39:12,370 --> 00:39:14,290
about all the things I've done for you?
661
00:39:14,710 --> 00:39:16,230
That isn't the point, Charlie.
662
00:39:16,231 --> 00:39:19,029
Please, one more try for your old dad,
huh?
663
00:39:19,030 --> 00:39:22,529
I mean, make her understand how
miserable I am, how broken up I am of
664
00:39:22,530 --> 00:39:25,789
leaving. I can't live without her. Stop
it. I shouldn't have talked to her in
665
00:39:25,790 --> 00:39:29,040
the first place, and you shouldn't have
asked me, and you know it.
666
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:47,170
A few joys in life.
667
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:49,910
Nipping at the brandy jar is one of
them.
668
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,180
You're my father. You're okay by me.
669
00:39:55,860 --> 00:39:56,910
Even when I screw up?
670
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,970
Especially when you screw up. Or else
I'm going to know it's you.
671
00:40:07,101 --> 00:40:13,969
You sure know how to take care of your
old man, don't you? I mean, you are
672
00:40:13,970 --> 00:40:16,590
when I need you. Always pick me up when
I'm down.
673
00:40:17,950 --> 00:40:19,000
Listen.
674
00:40:19,090 --> 00:40:20,140
Okay.
675
00:40:21,110 --> 00:40:22,370
You don't owe me anything.
676
00:40:24,230 --> 00:40:26,030
But you better remember this, kiddo.
677
00:40:26,750 --> 00:40:29,040
Nobody is ever going to love you as much
as I do.
678
00:40:34,310 --> 00:40:36,790
Now you have to see it to believe it.
679
00:40:36,791 --> 00:40:41,359
There she was, a stale peppermint, this
year's never, and she's fawning all over
680
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,059
me like I'm dirty Harry or something.
681
00:40:43,060 --> 00:40:43,919
You're kidding.
682
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:45,240
No, I am not kidding, Becky.
683
00:40:45,540 --> 00:40:49,539
She couldn't believe how exciting my
life must be. She says she admires a man
684
00:40:49,540 --> 00:40:52,430
who lives on the edge. The edge of what?
Your book and desk?
685
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,020
That's just to show you, to thine own
self be true.
686
00:40:55,620 --> 00:40:57,520
Did you let her touch your gun?
687
00:40:57,740 --> 00:41:00,560
Oh, Esposito. My wife was there.
688
00:41:01,300 --> 00:41:03,880
How do things go with Alice Christine?
689
00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:05,770
We found a place.
690
00:41:06,509 --> 00:41:08,249
Great. Something you're okay with?
691
00:41:08,910 --> 00:41:10,960
Harvey has a lot of faith in these
people.
692
00:41:10,990 --> 00:41:12,040
Yeah? Thanks.
693
00:41:12,170 --> 00:41:13,430
How about you? You happy?
694
00:41:14,370 --> 00:41:16,230
No, happy is not a word I would use.
695
00:41:16,231 --> 00:41:19,449
I'd rather wait till she's 16 to send
her out into the world.
696
00:41:19,450 --> 00:41:21,800
Best I can hope for is that she'll get
used to it.
697
00:41:21,890 --> 00:41:24,540
And maybe Petrie's right. Maybe she'll
get to like it.
698
00:41:24,570 --> 00:41:25,690
I don't know if I will.
699
00:41:27,090 --> 00:41:28,140
You're a good mother.
700
00:41:29,450 --> 00:41:30,970
Ask Alice when she's 11.
701
00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:33,290
You've got a customer.
702
00:41:33,291 --> 00:41:37,619
I don't want Millie to think that I
stopped caring, but there just isn't any
703
00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:38,670
more money.
704
00:41:38,860 --> 00:41:43,939
Every month I deposit my check, I never
realized how much I was giving Miss
705
00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:44,990
Dewey.
706
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,300
She encouraged you to spend more money?
707
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:51,590
Well, she'd ask if I had anything more
to say, and of course I always did.
708
00:41:52,540 --> 00:41:57,140
How I owe for the rent, the lights, the
gas, everything.
709
00:41:58,240 --> 00:42:02,079
Well, we would like to help you, Mr.
Hanson, but you did give her your money
710
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:03,130
voluntarily.
711
00:42:03,550 --> 00:42:06,430
In other words, I've been an old fool.
712
00:42:08,370 --> 00:42:10,430
Well, thanks for nothing.
713
00:42:15,690 --> 00:42:19,030
What if you have something on her and
don't even know it?
714
00:42:22,150 --> 00:42:25,470
I tell Cagney this, and she will never
let it go.
715
00:42:25,730 --> 00:42:26,890
You don't have a choice.
716
00:42:27,450 --> 00:42:29,680
How's he going to make it through the
month?
717
00:42:29,681 --> 00:42:32,059
Until he stole the bread right out of
his mouth.
718
00:42:32,060 --> 00:42:34,770
I hate it when a con thinks they're
smarter than we are.
719
00:42:37,340 --> 00:42:39,870
Victor has some information that might
be of help.
720
00:42:39,940 --> 00:42:41,930
Yeah, well... It's a little
embarrassing.
721
00:42:42,180 --> 00:42:44,710
Come on, Victor, it's not that big a
deal. It is to me.
722
00:42:44,740 --> 00:42:45,790
What is it, Victor?
723
00:42:46,700 --> 00:42:47,750
Tell him.
724
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:50,780
I sent a message to my mother.
725
00:42:52,060 --> 00:42:53,110
You what?
726
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,000
Oh, gee, Victor.
727
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,140
Okay, I know I was hustling.
728
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:01,690
Big for Seth.
729
00:43:01,691 --> 00:43:05,459
If she can actually send a courier to
get a message to my mom... Victor, the
730
00:43:05,460 --> 00:43:06,540
woman is a scam artist.
731
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:08,250
And a good one.
732
00:43:13,780 --> 00:43:14,830
All right.
733
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,320
I guess I am a chump. Yeah, Victor, you
certainly are.
734
00:43:18,321 --> 00:43:22,979
This is the last straw from that Dewey.
I want her head on a platter with an
735
00:43:22,980 --> 00:43:24,030
apple in her mouth.
736
00:43:24,031 --> 00:43:25,819
Dagny, Lacey, you take her down.
737
00:43:25,820 --> 00:43:26,870
Somehow.
738
00:43:27,860 --> 00:43:28,910
Matter of honor now.
739
00:43:29,150 --> 00:43:30,470
She attacked one of our own.
740
00:43:32,990 --> 00:43:35,250
First they persecuted Jesus.
741
00:43:35,850 --> 00:43:36,900
Now me.
742
00:43:37,330 --> 00:43:38,890
So who's next on the list?
743
00:43:39,650 --> 00:43:40,990
Faith healers?
744
00:43:41,690 --> 00:43:42,740
Astrologers?
745
00:43:43,010 --> 00:43:44,060
Oral robbers?
746
00:43:44,190 --> 00:43:48,789
Oh, give it a rest, Dewey. I mean, you
try to offer succor and comfort, and all
747
00:43:48,790 --> 00:43:50,370
you get is intolerance.
748
00:43:52,430 --> 00:43:56,430
Well, this time I intend to fight it.
749
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:00,800
Victor Isbecky be a client of yours?
750
00:44:02,820 --> 00:44:03,870
Victor?
751
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:05,680
Yes, of course.
752
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:10,140
A sincere, open -minded young man.
753
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:12,200
Isn't that a coincidence?
754
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,300
Victor's one of our favorites, too.
755
00:44:14,301 --> 00:44:18,239
Yes, not only a close personal friend,
he's also a professional colleague.
756
00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:20,520
Detective Victor Isbecky of the NYPD.
757
00:44:20,521 --> 00:44:24,399
One of the most respected men on the
force. What'd you say, Sergeant Cagney?
758
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:28,180
Oh, respect is not a word that does
Detective Isbecky justice.
759
00:44:28,780 --> 00:44:33,800
True, this is a man loved and admired by
everybody, rookie and veteran alike.
760
00:44:34,540 --> 00:44:36,760
One of a kind, no doubt about that.
761
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:38,680
And you ripped him off, Miss Dewey.
762
00:44:38,681 --> 00:44:42,299
Now, Detective, Miss Becky has friends
who will stand behind him. You get my
763
00:44:42,300 --> 00:44:45,520
drift? A cop on every corner, and they
all know your name?
764
00:44:45,521 --> 00:44:49,219
You think you know about harassment,
lady? You don't have an inkling. You
765
00:44:49,220 --> 00:44:52,319
down Fifth Avenue with your shoelace
untied. We'll slap a ticket on you for
766
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:53,459
infusing the exposure.
767
00:44:53,460 --> 00:44:56,159
Read twice, and the wrong side of the
street will pull you in for
768
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,100
pollution. And the legal system.
769
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:02,499
so busy. Can you believe it sometimes
takes months for even the simplest cases
770
00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:06,290
to get to court? Innocent people have
been known to stay locked up for years.
771
00:45:07,940 --> 00:45:14,000
You know, it just so happens I was
considering heading further north.
772
00:45:15,300 --> 00:45:16,350
Canada, maybe.
773
00:45:17,700 --> 00:45:19,440
My flock is everywhere.
774
00:45:21,420 --> 00:45:25,360
Well, Dewey, I'd say it's time to get
the flock out of here.
775
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:32,999
Thank you, Victor. Faith Dewey, during
reprisals from your many fans, has
776
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:33,839
out of town.
777
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,400
Good. Glad I could be of some help.
778
00:45:35,540 --> 00:45:39,360
You were, Victor. You saved a lot of
grieving people out there from being
779
00:45:39,860 --> 00:45:40,910
That's great.
780
00:45:41,300 --> 00:45:42,350
Thank you, Victor.
781
00:45:42,700 --> 00:45:43,750
Sure.
782
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,050
Detective Becky?
783
00:46:00,720 --> 00:46:02,460
Is there something I can do for you?
784
00:46:02,900 --> 00:46:06,150
I just thought it might be helpful to
get a look at you, that's all.
785
00:46:06,620 --> 00:46:08,300
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
786
00:46:09,620 --> 00:46:12,510
I figured your mother ought to know how
you're holding up.
787
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:18,139
I want you to know that even though I'm
delivering other messages, your words
788
00:46:18,140 --> 00:46:19,380
are committed to memory.
789
00:46:20,100 --> 00:46:22,560
Victor, I'm going to find your mom.
790
00:46:23,260 --> 00:46:24,360
Tell her how you felt.
791
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,720
How you always loved her.
792
00:46:27,980 --> 00:46:29,340
I will find her.
793
00:46:31,260 --> 00:46:33,480
I truly believe I will.
794
00:46:33,900 --> 00:46:35,220
I have to believe.
795
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,180
We all have to.
796
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,180
They say he moves in strange ways.
797
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:55,960
It's mysterious, Brandon.
798
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:58,890
And it's a she.
799
00:46:58,930 --> 00:47:03,480
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