All language subtitles for Boon s03e01 Charity Begins At Home 1

Harry, sit down.

There's a gunman holding Ken and Harry
upstairs.

For the past three years, I've been in
and out of the house on the hill.

House on the hill?

I had a breakdown.

Oh, yeah, the marksman are here.

He's gonna be busy, busy, busy.

Tie him up. Terry, we know you're in
there.

We know you have a gun.

And we know you have two male hostages.

Now, don't do anything silly. There's a
good boy.

Come on, Terry. Everybody has bad times.

We just have to learn to take the
knocks.

Are you saying I can't take the knocks?

Ken? Margaret.

Ken's been shot.

I think he's dead.

There's nothing like a reliable
dispatcher.

What the hell's all this about, Terry?

Revenge, Ken.

Revenge.

For what?

That's for me to know and you to die
wondering.

Right, let's see.

I think the girlfriend...

Debbie, she's gone. She's got married.

Debbie? Yeah, Debbie.

Thank God for that.

Oh, there.

What do you reckon?

Well, it's all right, I suppose.

Progress, that's what it is, Ken,
progress.

Maybe for you.

I thought you was happy in Smethwick.
I'm very happy in Smethwick.

Nice yard for the boys.

Yeah.

I still think you made a mistake selling
the coaching inn. Oh, that's because I

put you out a bit, that's all. No, it's
not. I just think you've taken on more

than you bargained for.

Why do you think it was so cheap?

Because it needs a facelift.

It's doing no business.

Oh, but it will, Ken, it will.

Because it's multi -purpose.

That's the beauty of it.

That was what was wrong with the
coaching inn. It wasn't.

What? Multi -purpose.

Because it was a hotel.

Exactly. Hotels are for sleeping.

The plaza switch for everything.

Except sleeping.

Exactly. That's because it's not a
hotel, is it?

Hello, Glynis.

Hello, Mr Boone. Are you feeling better?

Yeah, all right.

Like the barn here? Thank you.

How's it going?

I don't know.

Every relevant piece of information is
stored in here, Ken.

Bookings, inquiries, confirmations,
income, expenditure, you name it, it

at the touch of a button. A bloody
wonderful arm, the Glynis. You want to

yourself one?

What, a computer or a Glynis? A
computer.

You'll get Debbie to work it.

It's a bit difficult.

Well, if Glynnis could work it, anybody
can. No, she's done a Lord Lucan.

A what?

Well, you know, a runner.

Ronnie Biggs?

Well, she's gone to Brazil.

No, you cloth.

She got shacked up with some geezer.
Moved on.

I thought she liked Smeddick.

She did like Smeddick.

I always thought there was something
unstable about that girl.

Hello, Ken. Nice to see you again.
You're feeling better? Yeah, fine,

Didn't recognise you.

That's a new image.

Actually, I had an anti -convoluted in
Bournemouth. But it was really nice.

Quiet, but nice.

It was only a varicose vein of mine.
It's not like she'd been shot or

Bournemouth was nice. Linda. Isn't that
lovely Miss Daly? Do you still see her?

Linda. Yes, Mr Crawford?

You asked for me to tell me, didn't you?

Oh, there's a Mr Richard J.

Coming to see you in 15 minutes.

He wants to book the ballroom.

There you are, Ken. Started already.

Nice to see you, Ken.

You've not been in touch with Margaret,
then?

I'll leave you to it, Harry.

You see, Jimmy, can you spare the price
of a company?

What? Tea.

I could do with a cup of tea, Jimmy.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I said I can't. I'm not a bloody devil.

Okay, bye. Just the one, is it? Just the
one. The address is on it. This is to

go to. Same place.

What, separate invoices?

No, put it on with that one. Are you
sure?

Sure, I'm sure. You just ride the bikes,
all right?

Pascal and Papa's promotion's going to
help you.

Listen, uh, tomorrow you're coming in at
12.

Good.

Yes.

This is just what I want.

Well, hey, Mr. J. Let me get you a
booking form and I'll list the current

charges. No need. No trouble.

Well, actually, you see, I don't want to
have to pay.

Oh, no, go on, follow.

I organise charity nights, and I was
wondering if you might consider me using

this rather splendid ballroom free of
charge.

Well, yes, I'm furious for a very worthy
cause.

You see, you never can do enough.

But the fact is, Mr J... Oh, Richard,
please, call me Richard.

Oh, Richard, the fact is that at this
moment in time, I can't afford to take

something for nothing.

Who's asking you to?

Well, I thought you said you wanted me
to let you have the plaza suite for

nothing. I did.

At the same time, you'll make a nice
tidy profit and enough publicity to put

firmly on the map.

Hey.

Have you got a calculator?

Well, no. We've got a computer, always.

Even better. Show me the keyboard. I'll
explain all.

The information was only known to four
people. Myself and three of my senior

management team.

I see.

I've had victim friends for years. I
can't believe they're the source of the

leak.

What are you doing with that?

Checking your security.

That's what I'm being paid for.

And you personally passed the
information on to the other three here

room? I did.

It's become a little habit of mine
working out while I have me... Very

You've had the equipment long?

Three or four years.

And nothing's been added to it?

It was all installed at the same time.

All except this, that is.

Gives my pulse rate.

Mine's very low.

How long have you had that?

Ever since I took up meditation.

I meant the apparatus.

A couple of weeks.

It was given to me.

Oh? By an instruments company.

They want me to buy something naturally.

Time was when they gave you a crate of
scotch at Christmas.

Now it's all health and fitness.

Much better for you, of course. They're
not so much fun.

I hope you know what you're doing.

So do I.

Do you know what this is, Mr. Hillary?

Well, it was part of my pulse tester,
wasn't it?

It's a transmitter.

The source of your leak.

Oh, by the way, I had a word with
Matthew Kelly.

Said he'd be more than happy to host the
gala.

Oh, good.

Right, right.

You've been on telly, I think. It's
never off.

Mega is Matthew.

Mega. Yeah, but what'll he charge?
Nothing, Harry. It's a charity do. We'll

it for nothing.

Oh, I don't know.

Well, I'm not going to say any more,
Harry, because if you don't fancy it, I

know a lot of places that do.

So why come to me, anyway?

Size, Harry.

Simple fact of size.

You see, most places are small club
-type venues. The Plaza Suite is size.

We're talking big money here.

Oh.

See that, Harry?

Income, 32 and a half grand.

But this is the bit that counts, Harry.

10 % of 15 grand for a night's work. Not
bad in anybody's book.

And that's only the beginning, Harry.

So, um, this Jay Blake, he works for
charity, doesn't he? No, no, no, no, no,

no.

How much is he getting out of it?

Not a lot.

Well, what's not a lot? Well, his
overheads.

Ten percent of the profits.

So for every hundred quid he gets a
tenner?

Why don't we get five quid each?

That's very reasonable.

Well, of course, there's added little
bonuses.

What such as?

The food, the wine, the cabaret.

I don't follow.

Well, they all go into the budget at a
certain price, but they don't really

as much as we say they do.

That is the lousiest thing I've ever
heard.

A normal commercial profit.

It's cheating.

Oh, come on, Ken. I mean, I'm not
charging for this place.

The heating, the lighting, the stuff.
Cheating homeless people.

It's perfectly legal.

Dishonest. Oh, come on, Ken.

I mean, the charity stands to make about
14 ,000 pounds out of this.

And how much are you and Jay making out
of it?

Well, I can't say for Richard, but I
might make about eight grand.

8 ,000 quid.

Not including a raffle?

It's bloody disgusting.

Oh, come on, Ken.

I mean, the charity's going to make a
lot of money.

The punters are getting a great night
out and being seen doing the right

It's 50 quid well spent. That's not the
point.

Of course it's the point!

You are thieving money off people who've
given money for homeless people.

Thieving.

Thieving, now be careful.

I'm off.

On your condition, I'll get a taxi.

Look, Ken, about this girl, it's a
charity girl. Listen, it's so not fair.

Yeah, all right. Go on, it'll all seem
different in the morning when you're

sober.

Well, Mr Hillary, Jonathan, that's very
kind of you, but it's not entirely

necessary. No, it's all part of the
service.

Excuse me, are you all right? You sound
very odd.

I'm fine.

I just thought it'd be a nice way of
showing my appreciation.

It's a charity gala, you see.

You never know, you might meet someone
glamorous and exciting.

Oh, really? And what about you?

I'm going with someone glamorous and
exciting.

Well, I don't know what to say, except
thank you very much. I'll be delighted

accept.

Mum, did you get that message from...
Sorry, where?

Oh, the plaza suite. Oh, that's funny. I
know the new owner there. Yeah.

Well, I look forward to it very much.

Thank you. Bye, Jonathan.

Jo, how many times have I told you I'm
using this as an office during office

hours? Please don't come barging in
here.

Sorry. I just didn't think you got that
message.

What message?

From Ken Boone. He rang when you were
out.

He wanted to know if you could meet him
for lunch. What?

It's there, look.

You said no, I hope.

Yes. Good. But then he was so insistent,
so I said yes.

What?

You hear what I'm saying? Spare. I'm
saying it's not our fault.

Yeah, well, whose fault is it? You tell
me that, eh? Whose fault is it? Not

ours. Tamara, whose fault is it? Whose
fault is it that our main competitive

have ripped off the entire promotion
right down to the sodding slogan, if

was human, this one would wear my ring?
Whose fault, eh?

Scary.

Laces.

Six months of hard work, leaked epoxy
laces.

Well, we might as well kiss goodbye to
the client.

Spoken to them. Well, of course I've
spoken to them.

Texas Rangers?

Hang on.

All right.

There you are.

If you could just put your mark down
there.

Lacey's, of course! Who do you think?

They've even got our free recoker.

Oh, it's great, that recoker, you know.
Brill.

Hello.

Who's that?

It's a dispatch firm. We always use
them.

What? On this account?

It's Mr Paschal.

What, the artwork, everything?

We always do.

Are you telling me that all the stuff
we've worked on for the last six months,

in secret, is then handed over to
complete strangers?

You could put it that way, I suppose,
yeah.

Christ. Oh, come on, Jenny, the bike
firm. Be sensible.

What do you think?

I can vouch for everyone here. Can you
vouch for them?

I think you're overreacting here. Oh, do
you?

How did they get out of the re -corker,
then?

All right, all right.

We'll use someone else. It's easy.

Oh, just sack them.

That was £200 ,000 worth of time and
effort, and I'll tell you what, if I

out they're responsible for this, I
shall feed them their bikes, bit by

bit.

Yeah, I'll have that one, look.

Expensive but special.

Hello. Long time.

No see.

Is this all right for you, or would you
prefer something else?

No, no.

Fine. Thank you.

Well... Cheers.

Cheers.

So, are we a keeping spectre yet?

Didn't you know?

No. Thanks.

I quit.

Why?

I was facing disciplinary action.

You? What have you done?

Well, I went barging into the coaching
inn when you were shot.

So?

That's endangering your life, my life,
and the lives of the public and my

colleagues. Well, you only did it
because you were... Ken, if it hadn't

that, it would have been something else.
It just wasn't working out.

No, I'm a security consultant now.

It's my own business.

So I'm talking to a successful
businesswoman, eh?

Well, I've made a start.

At least I'm my own boss.

And you, are you all right?

Yeah.

I get the odd dream.

I phoned you, you know, when I came out
of hospital.

I thought you might. No reply.

I'd gone away.

I left messages.

I know.

And I wrote.

I'm sorry.

Twice.

Ken.

I just wanted to see you.

I didn't think it was a good idea.

Shall we order?

No, not yet.

I thought I saw you the other day going
into an office block.

Might have been.

It's nice to see you.

It's good to see you too.

Why didn't you visit me in hospital?

I did.

Three times.

When I was conscious.

I think we should order.

So, we'll see you Monday night then,
Matt.

Like a car to pick you up.

No, no, I'll drive myself. About seven o
'clock, all right? Oh, perfect.

Mega, Richard, mega.

Mega, Richard, mega.

Drive safely, Matt. Yeah, bye.

Cheers.

I knew he'd do the business.

Put bums on seats, as we say.

Bloody mega is Matt.

Bloody mega.

We've only got a hundred or so left to
fill.

Full house coming up.

I have a feeling this could be the start
of something very special, Harry. Oh,

it's going to be a good night, isn't it?

Now, on a broad -gauge basis.

What?

Now, bye -bye.

Bye.

We can make it a regular feature of the
Plaza Suite.

Once a month is charity night.

We'll even run a little bit in the
papers. The public gets to vote for

charity's going to benefit.

You've got the venues, I've got the
contacts.

It's sure fire.

Yeah? Think of the publicity it'll give
this place.

Charity for all occasions.

Do you know, Harry?

I've waited ten years to meet someone
like you.

Now I have.

The sky's the limit.

I was wondering, do you know we budgeted
for £4 a head?

Well, I can do it for two.

Is there a problem?

No, not really.

I've got to check it out because they're
all in the same ring, mate.

Right. It's OK, though.

I can do you a very tasty chicken
chasseur for under a pound a portion.

Harry, let's do this thing properly.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Everything. Bacon, button mushrooms...
Give them smoked salmon.

What? And beef wellington.

Have you any idea how much... Be
generous, Harry, and so will they. Oh,

know, but beef wellington... It's for
charity, Harry.

That's what counts.

All right, Jimmy, you all right?

Yeah, all right.

That's good, Jimmy.

That's good.

Bet you want a cup of tea, eh?

That's bloody amazing.

Read minds, do you?

Cos that is what I was thinking. That is
just what I was thinking.

Here, don't spend it all at once.

I'll do my best.

You're a good man, Jimmy.

Ken. Aye, aye, Ken, you're a good man.
No, that's my name, Ken.

That's nice, that, Ken.

That's a nice name. I won't forget your
name in a hurry, Jimmy.

Package room, focus.

Just this one.

Yeah, and there's this for you.

For delivery?

No, for you. We're going to be using
another firm from now on. What?

Yeah, that portion of yours will be
anything.

I want to be drinking new by about 12 o
'clock. Hey, excuse me.

Yes. Do you know anything about this?

Texas Rangers.

That's right.

Then I do.

What's it all about? We've always given
you good service, haven't we? I don't

have to give you a reason. I know you
don't. I'd like one. It's my company.

All right.

Certain documents which your company has
been handling have fallen into the

wrong hands.

Are you saying we've let other people
have our butchers at your stuff? I'm not

saying anything.

What I'm saying is that from now on we
should be using a different dispatch

company. So will lots of other people
when this gets around. Tell me.

Wait a minute.

If you start... Not if.

When? Sorry, mate. Hard world is
advertising.

for you.

Take this ranger.

Okay, two to go and one to pick up. And
Mr.

Langford would like to see you. Just
wait there.

Who's he?

A managing director.

Oh.

Oh.

I've got a proposition for you.
Something a bit special.

A Beaujolais nouveau run.

Oh, well, we ought to do England -like
on account of the fact that Kenneth

hasn't got a passport.

Sorry.

No, no, you don't understand.

We've got a race on with another
advertising agency.

And I want you to pick up a bottle from
an airfield and take it to a restaurant.

On your bike.

Oh, well, I don't know about that.

Why not?

Well, see, Ken doesn't encourage racing.

Then don't tell him.

Take them all in off.

Call in sick.

Well, I'd have to think about it. Do,
do. And while you're thinking, think

an extra 50 quid in it for you.

And another 200 if we win.

Charity for all.

is the name we'd like to trade under.
But it's not going to be a registered

charity? Not at the moment.

It's a business.

Oh. We'll make money for people who need
it. It's worthwhile, certainly. But it

is a business.

Exactly.

Well, you're an established client, Mr
Crawford.

The bank will be happy to facilitate
your partnership.

Just like I said, Hal.

So, what are we talking about here?

I mean, how much each do you reckon we
ought to put in?

Well, I put in 5 ,000.

Five? You don't put in anything.

Don't I?

The Plaza Suite can hardly run away, can
it?

That's your contribution.

Oh, yes, but 5 ,000.

Think big, Hal.

But what do we need it for?

I've a feeling, Harry, that this
partnership is going to be the start of

something very special.

Together, you, me and the Plaza Suite
are going to make a lot of money for Mr

Cunningham's bank here.

And for the charities.

Definitely the charities.

Miss Daly, what is the price?

We were only talking about you the other
day. Hello, Linda.

Mr Crawford's out, I'm afraid.

It doesn't matter. I've only come to
collect some tickets.

Linux is in the office.

What's

up

with you?

Pascal and Piper have given us the boot.

What for?

They reckon we're giving away their
precious advertising secrets to another

company. But we don't do that sort of
thing. Of course we don't. Hey, Kenneth,

if this gets out, no -one will employ
us.

Gladys, make sure the reserve notices go
on the right table.

There are certain people I want keeping
away from the rip -off. Yes, Mr

Crawford. You remember the table, Mr
Crawford. Make sure Miss Daly gets a

one. Well, is Margaret coming?

Everything going according to plan,
Harry?

Like clockwork.

Dances look good. Yeah, not at all. I
popped in at the bank the other way.

got the agreement form we need to sign.

I still don't know why we need your
part, though.

Well, contingency, Harry. Listen.

Let's just put our crosses where they
count and sit back and sip the

I'll get this back to the bank straight
away.

The sooner the better, Harry.

Glynis? Cupid?

Get Ken on that telephone, will you? Ask
him if he'd like a couple of tickets

for the gala tonight.

Ken Burns?

Well, I don't know any other Ken.

But I thought you and... Don't worry
about that, Glennis. When he knows who's

going to be here, he'll come straight
away. You mark my words.

Oh.

Hey, Rock.

Guess who that was?

Go on.

Glennis. Huh?

What's he want?

Well, it's Harry.

He's invited you and me down to this
charity gala at the Plaza Suite.

As his guests.

I thought you said that guy was a cheat.

I did.

I thought you said that you weren't
going to have anything to do with it. I

But I thought you reckoned... Rocky,
shut up.

Follow me.

Other side.

Look.

My wife.

It's a great pleasure. Hope you have a
wonderful evening.

Call for charity.

Bloody

hell.

Hello, Harry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Good luck, girls.

Thank you.

No

question,

they are the same person.

Al Pacino, Robert De Niro and Dustin
Hoffman are one and the same.

Have you ever seen them in the same
photograph?

No. Or the same film?

Yes.

Godfather Part II, Pacino and De Niro.

Flashbacks. Never in the same scene.
Damn clever, you know. Three times the

income, one tax return.

Now, that's what you should be
investigating, not taking apart old

you're right.

Maybe. I want to thank you for what
you've done for my business.

I was only doing what I was paid to.

Are you married?

Yes.

And no.

My wife and I have an arrangement.

We've nothing in common.

She's well provided for, and I run my
affairs as I see fit.

I see.

Do you?

I'm beginning to.

Ah, how's it going, Mac?

Fine, fine.

Did you run in order, Scorch? Yeah, I
think so. Is somebody going to excuse

Hmm, Harry.

Me? Well, that's the law. Yeah, just a
straight intro, do I?

Yes, just a straight intro.

Right.

Just a straight one.

Just get out of my house, will you? Get
out.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

It's a great thrill for me, Harry
Crawford, to see you all here tonight.

I can assure you we have a wonderful
evening's entertainment lined up for

But enough from me.

It's my great pleasure to introduce to
you tonight's host, Mr. Matthew

Kelly.

He's on the telly. I'll send you in
front of him. Thank you. Thank you.

And thank you, Harry, for that
marvellously spontaneous introduction.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first act you
saw tonight were the delightful calendar

girl dancers. But how can we possibly
follow that? I hear you cry. Well,

and gentlemen, tonight we have a treat
in store for you. We have a singer who I

know you all love.

It is, of course, the one and only Cliff
Ryan.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is a little number that's been good
to me.

I'm sure you're going to recognise it.

Thank you, boys.

I'm coming home, I've done my time.

There's no going for a leak.

Oi, will you ask Gary if he's got any
white snake?

He's got some wine here. No, no, white
snake.

Hello, Ken.

Hi. Harry told me you were here.

Well, it wasn't a secret.

Jonathan Hillary.

Jonathan Ken Boone.

Oh, Boone?

Hello, Hillary.

Good evening.

You didn't tell me you were coming.

I wasn't aware I had to.

Perhaps we'll have a drink later, eh?

Yeah, yeah, fine.

If you'll excuse me.

Going well, isn't it?

You all right, Ken?

Yeah, I'm all right.

You glad you came?

Did you know she was bringing somebody?

Well, no, I knew she was coming, that's
all. I mean, I didn't know she'd have

some bloke in tow.

No point in asking me, was there? Well,
I didn't know what I asked you, did I?

Anyway, is it time we stopped all this?

All what?

Well, you don't call her and then you
get upset when she sees somebody else.

You're being a bit childish, aren't we,
Kenny? I don't think so.

You're too proud, mate, that's your
trouble.

I have seen her, actually. I took her
out to lunch for your information.

Oh.

I told her, now you're cheating this
charity out of God knows what.

You know what you'll get with anyone,
Marty? All of us.

Harry? Why do you sound like a wicker?
Yeah, you sound like a money game, so

you've turned out to be. Oh, is that so?

Yes, that is so.

Well, what do you think they're eating
out there, eh? Scotch mist?

That's smoked salmon and birth bleed in
Wellington, that is, mate. It's not the

food, Harry.

You've pulled some strokes in your time,
but this takes the biscuit. Oh, bloody

hell, Peter, bloody perfect.

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a
song and I'll try not to sing

out of fear.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my
friends.

Yeah, I get high with a little help from
my friends.

Oh, I'm gonna cry with a little help
from my friends.

So how are things at Pascal and Piper's?

Panicky, to say the least.

Got over losing their best client?

They haven't lost them yet.

Jerry's hanging on for grim death.

He's even taken them to the restaurant
this lunchtime.

Some people never learn.

He's hoping they'll be impressed if he
wins the Beaujolais Nouveau race.

Strange animals, the clients.

They won't win, though.

John's Porsche is a bit tasty.

So am I.

They don't suspect you, do they? Of
course they don't. They think it's the

dispatch company.

Oh, yes, that reminds me.

I really must give them the old heave
-ho.

What for?

Well, the word's gone around, hasn't it?

They're unreliable and dishonest.

So?

Give me the Texas Rangers, will you?

We agencies really must stick together.

Well, that's about it. Maybe a few quid
outstanding, that's all.

A good night's work.

Yeah. Looks to be an enterprise
businessman of the year, eh?

Look, I'd better start paying some of
these bills. Get it all in the computer.

Then we'll know exactly what we're
worth.

Electrician's not finished yet. Nearly
there, Mr Crawford. Nearly there.

Right, come on, Harry.

I sometimes wonder if these blokes
really know what they're doing.

There goes another contract.

Oh, what?

Who's it this time?

Lacey's, the other advertising company.

Hey, I'm meant to be... What?

Oh, nothing.

Well, I don't see what we can do about
it. These advertising agencies are hand

in glove.

If only we could find out who is ripping
them off.

Oh, I don't see how we can do that.

I mean, the best thing, really, is to
show them that we're the business. You

know, number one dispatch riders in
Birmingham.

I don't see how we're going to do that
since they all sacked us.

Oh, I don't know, Ken.

Fate's a funny thing.

I mean, it deals with the cards, and
when you think you've got a bad hand,

of a sudden you've got a handful of
trumps.

You've been drinking?

Hello, Ken.

Oh, great.

Right, um, I'll be off then.

You what?

Well, you said I could have the morning
off.

My gran's funeral.

We're going dressed like that?

Yeah. To a funeral?

Oh, she was a keen biker, my gran.

Have a nice day.

Where are you going, Rob?

Um, I'm going to, uh...

I don't know. I don't know. And you've
got to be there in half an hour.

Thought I'd come and see the new office.

Well, it's hardly new.

We've been here quite a while.

Don't start, Ken.

I'm not starting anything.

I kept away because I needed some time
for myself.

Leaving the force, starting the
business.

There wasn't really enough to go around.

I see.

I am sorry.

Yeah, so am I.

About the other night.

He's a client.

Who is?

The man I was with at the gala. I look
after his security.

He was taking me out as a thank you.

Is that all?

Oh, I'm sorry. I know it's none of my
business.

How about me inviting you out for lunch
sometime?

By way of a thank you.

Maybe you say yes.

Thank you for what?

I don't know.

I'd think of something.

How are you fixed today?

Difficult.

Never mind.

Why don't you give me a ring later in
the week?

Yeah.

Yeah, all right, I will.

I thought you were a thriving concern.

Well, we were, until some firm decided
we were selling their precious ideas to

the competition.

Sounds like the sort of thing I'd get
involved with.

We got the elbow from another company
this morning.

No reason whatsoever.

I thought you were big enough to sort
those sort of problems out yourself.

Well... Well, if I remember rightly, you
were a dab hand at it when you were at

the coaching inn.

I'm getting old, love.

No, you're getting indulgent.

Yeah. I suppose I ought to sort it out
with them.

Hmm.

Is this the best you can do?

Our top men came up with that. It's
great.

It's insipid.

Look, I'll see you in the restaurant at
lunchtime, all right?

Yeah, all right.

Hey, you're getting them for nothing.

No, I'm not.

I'm giving you a partnership in a new
advertising agency.

Oh, yeah, and I'm bloody worth it.

Come in.

What do you want? The address.

No -one give me the address. I don't
know where the airfield is.

You what?

Dixie!

Dixie!

Dixie!

Oh, Dixie's not here this morning, Mr
Langford. I'm standing in for her. Where

the hell is she?

She's gone to the airfield. Oh, that's
where I'm meant to be.

Give him the address.

Don't worry, Mr Langford, Texas Rangers
won't let you down, mate, I promise.

Right, well...

Did he recognize you?

You what?

I thought you weren't going to make it.
No, I just didn't have the address.

You know which restaurant to go to,
don't you? Oh, yeah, that's all in here

well. What's he doing here?

Well, he's our messenger.

We'll all be competing again.

That ain't fair. He's got a motorbike.

He could always trade in a Porsche.

Texas Rangers.

You're on history, mate.

History. Oi.

That's not very nice, is it?

Yeah, well, here's the competition from
Pascal and Piper.

Whatever you do, you've got to beat him.

Hey, listen, if we do win, do you think
Lices will use Texas Rangers again?

Oh, if you win, you can have anything.

Anything?

Yeah, well, win first.

And don't worry.

You'll have a head start on him.

Oh?

Oh, you'll see.

Texas Rangers?

Yes, you've just missed him.

Have I?

Yeah. He's gone to pick up the
Beaujolais Nouveau from the airfield.

Who was?

Your rider.

Tall, long black hair.

Bit dishy.

Rocky. Oh, no.

Rather fine features.

I reckon he'll be at the restaurant in
about half an hour. What restaurant?

Uh, Arthur's Bar.

Wish I could go see a wincery.

They're all there except for me.

Yeah, okay. Thanks, Bob. Thanks.

Granny's bloody funeral.

Damn.

I think that's the competition then.
Yeah.

Well, where's our plane?

Doesn't matter.

Landing. What's this?

Beaujolais Nouveau.

Our plane hasn't even landed.

So, this year, Le Nouveau is arrivé
bitterly.

What do you mean?

Old wine, new label. Now go.

Hey, that's cheating, isn't it? No, it's
not.

Now go.

You seen Richard anywhere?

No, Mr Crawford. He left a little while
ago.

You say where he was going? The bank.
Pay those checks in. Right.

Mr Crawford? I don't know. I thought we
paid your electrician. Mr Crawford, my

name is Jeremy Martin and I'm from
Martin at Large. What? And I'd like to

you a few questions about the charity...
I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know what you're talking about.
And the thousands of pounds you cheated

from the Birmingham homeless.

You're telling me that all the profits
from the charity night actually went to

the homeless?

Do you see, Harry? Do you mind turning
that thing off, please? What about your

own accounts, Mr Crawford? What do you
mean, my accounts?

Your own accounts printed from your
computer.

Hey, where did you get that from? It's
private property, that is. They say that

£8 ,000 was to be paid to your cabaret
performers.

We spoke to the singer Cliff Ryan. He
got £300.

The dancer's £200, cash in hand.

So where's the other £7 ,500?

I don't know. That's nothing to do with
me. Then how about the way you and Mr J

split the profit for that evening?

10 % went to the homeless and 90 % went
to yourselves.

No, no, it was the other way around.

We were the ones to get the £1 ,500.
Then why has the charity received a

only for £1 ,520?

I swear I know nothing about this. I
don't believe you, Mr Crawford. Well, I

don't care whether you believe me or
not. As far as I'm concerned, the money

used to be paid to the homeless in
Birmingham. But where's the money now?

In the bank!

Vinnie!

Get me Mr Cunningham on the phone.

He'll tell you the money's still intact.

And bring me the checkbook. I'll sign a
check here and now.

I bet you won't show this bit on your
telly. No.

No.

I am talking to you.

Look, not now, right? I don't like my
riders being used in hooray Henry races.

Tomorrow. Come and see me tomorrow.

Excuse me.

What? What's the matter?

It's for them over there.

For laces?

Exactly. Yeah, well, your laces.

At least you were this morning, eh?

No, I wasn't.

Oh, yes, you were. With him.

Tommy, do you mind explaining? I don't
know what he's talking about.

I think I do.

Oh, uh,

hello, Ken.

Don't give me that hello, Ken.

Tommy.

What are you talking about? There's got
to be more than £48 in the account.

Yes, £48 and 7p.

Yes, all right, £48 and 7p.

There should be at least £30 ,000 in
there.

He's cleared the account, Mr Crawford.

What?

He's cleared the account.

It's a joint account. He is allowed to.

Tommy, what were you doing in Lacey's
this morning?

I want an explanation.

It wasn't us that was flogging your
precious ideas. It was one of your own

wasn't it?

Don't look at me.

I don't know anything about that sort of
thing.

It's against the law.

You what?

I didn't know the ideas you were giving
us belonged to the company.

I thought you were trying to do a bit of
freelancing on the side.

You bastard.

He was paying me to rip you off.

He was?

Well, Peter, how do you want to settle?

In or out of court?

In. And the 5 ,000 you just lost on the
nouveau race will pay for it.

Thank you very much. Um, it's not
Beaujolais Nouveau.

Just think of the money, son.

No, you see, because they swapped the
labels.

I mean, I was well away before the plane
even touched down.

Can I get you anything, Mr Crawford?

Yes, Glynis, get me Ken.

And Margaret, quickly.

Right.

I wasn't going to do it, Ken, but when
we lost the account, I just thought it'd

be a way of winning it back.

I don't want it back.

You'd better pay me a compensation.

I'll see you in... Ken?

Are you there, Ken?

Mr. Ken? Can you hear me, Ken?

Hello, Ken, the place.

Hello, Mum.

Any chance of coming to eat, eh?

Eat? Oh, you aren't.

Terrible? Where have you been?

Trainsing off round the country and
that's only a week on the road. Work,

work. You know what it's like. Yeah,
work.

Go on, pull the other one.

All right, then. I shan't say any more.
Now, close your eyes.

Do what? Go on, close your eyes.

Don't say I don't ever do anything for
you. Now, come around here. I've got

something to show you.

Not bad, eh?

It's yours, Mum.

Oh, God.

Oh, where did you get me?

Good odds, Mum. Good odds.

I wish your dad had been half as lucky
as you, son. I really do.

Well, you need a system. One that works.

Listen, I want to borrow it for a couple
of days. When I get back, it's all

yours. Okay.

Bye, Mum.

I'd just like to say that it's never
been my intention to deceive anybody.

But what are you going to do about it?

Well, I'll make sure that... Well,
whatever happens, the homeless will get

money that was raised for them on the
gardenite. How?

Oh... Yes?

I'll pay it myself if I have to.

He's my friend.

He's my friend. He's my buddy till the
end. Truth again says...

We'll see you next

time.