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Oh, hello.
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Glad you could drop by.
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00:00:05,001 --> 00:00:08,319
You know, so many things happened on the
Drew Carey show last week that I
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thought I'd catch you up a little bit.
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You see, the trouble all started when
Winford Louder wanted to build a mall in
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Drew's neighborhood.
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Well, here, look. Okay.
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This is Drew.
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And this is Mrs. Louder.
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Sell the house, Carey!
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No, I don't want to. I grew up in it.
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Ah, quit your crying, you big baby.
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That's why you're a beer and I'm a
bottle of fine wine made by monks.
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And then Mimi dropped by.
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Pig!
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And then she left.
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Then they started talking about cutting
Drew's house in half and I started
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thinking about this crack he made about
me having a...
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Low attention span.
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Does this look infected to you?
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Well, eventually the talk went to houses
on a lake and lawsuits, and quite
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frankly, none of it really mattered.
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I mean, we're all going to lose
everything in our checking accounts come
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millennium.
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That's right.
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Y2K, baby, huh?
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It's all a big plot. And you know who's
behind it?
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They don't want me to tell you. Oh, no.
No, but they can't stop me, you see.
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Because I'm their worst nightmare. A
drunk guy with TV time.
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The people behind this thing, behind
this whole conspiracy, is the American
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Broadcasting.
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All this energy calling me.
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Back where it comes from.
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It's such a crude attitude.
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It's back where it... We belong.
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Our little chicks with the crimson lips
go Cleveland rock, Cleveland rock.
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Living in sin with safety net, go
Cleveland.
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I had some storm last night, huh,
Speedy?
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Hey, sorry about all that stuff about
cutting you open and crawling inside.
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Cold plays with a man's mind.
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I hope that's somebody with religious
pamphlets I can burn for heat.
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Celia, you're back early.
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Hi, Drew.
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Why the beard?
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And why does the neighborhood look
abandoned?
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Oh, my God.
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Oh, that.
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Tell me about your trip.
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I have a feeling your story is more
interesting.
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Oh, not really.
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Winford Lauder wants to build a mall, so
they bought everybody out. Then they
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tricked me and took half my house.
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Now I'm not leaving until they bring it
back or they find me a frozen corpse
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picked apart by squirrels and birds.
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So what do you want for dinner?
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Hey, time to hit the slopes.
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Hey,
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you shoveled. the steps.
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I don't believe this. You're the only
one left in the neighborhood and you're
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living here like an animal. It's not so
bad.
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Hey, Drew, mind if I use your bathroom?
Yeah, sure. Go ahead.
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There's a magazine by the tree. Thanks.
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00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:42,039
Have you guys been staying here with
Drew? Yeah, for ten whole days now. It's
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been man against nature. Drew taught us
how to make a pizza with nothing but a
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cellular phone and a credit card.
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Can't you wage this battle from a nice,
warm hotel room?
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No, no, no, no. The minute I leave this
place, they're going to take it. I can't
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let that happen.
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Winford Lauder has demoted me. They've
humiliated me. They've denied me
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promotions. No, it's fine with that.
We've got a nice little thing going. But
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this is where I make my stand.
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Boy, when you put it that way, it sounds
so noble.
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Do not go outside.
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If your friends are in for the siege, I
guess I can be, too. Oh, I knew I could
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count on you. It's not so bad. We have a
lot of fun. We make campfires, tell
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ghost stories. What other fun things do
we do, guys? Wait till you fall asleep
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and then leave.
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A pig.
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Hey, Lewis, you didn't bury it deep
enough.
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Shut up.
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She's steaming.
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What are you doing here, Mimi?
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I'm here to read a prepared statement by
the board of directors of Winford
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Louder. Dear Pig.
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The board wrote that, huh?
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Oh, yeah.
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This is your last chance to vacate the
premises. Should you refuse, Mimi Bobeck
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has been authorized to drive you out by
any means necessary.
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Necessary.
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Seat signed by Mrs. Louder.
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00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:15,400
They hired you? Why would they hire you?
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00:05:15,401 --> 00:05:18,379
Well, they needed somebody to torture
you, and apparently they're fans of my
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work.
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00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:22,200
I am not leaving, Mimi. You can huff.
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You can puff.
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Oh, my God, I'm making a pig joke on
myself.
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Get out!
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Well, I warned you.
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Where's that opening?
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Oh, well.
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Quick, Drew, if we get a blurry picture
of her walking through the snow, we can
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make a fortune.
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00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,420
Drew, what makes that woman so angry?
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Deep down inside of her is a scared
little girl. I think it's giving her
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indigestion.
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00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:25,640
that chopping sound?
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I don't know. Why don't we ask her to
play it again?
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Boy, earplugs. That was a good idea.
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Hey, where are you going?
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It's probably Mimi. I don't know what
I'm going to do.
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Hit her over the head, but I'm afraid
she'd fall face down and ruin my carpet.
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Larry, Chuck, what are you doing here?
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Actually, everybody missed you at work.
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I'm kidding.
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Nobody did.
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We just stopped by to ask Mimi to shut
off the lights and music.
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Well, hey, you're here to back me up?
You're on my side?
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What side?
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There are no sides.
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You won.
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They're not going to build them all.
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I won?
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Oh, my God, I won.
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Congratulations, Drew.
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Well, that sounds funny together,
doesn't it?
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Wait a minute. You're not just finding
out about this now, are you? I mean,
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went down like three days ago.
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Wait a second. If this whole thing's
over, why are you guys hanging around my
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house? We're not. We're hanging around
our houses.
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Winford Louder's stuck with all these
houses. And they're renting them out to
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all their employees.
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Cheap. I'm on the right.
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Larry's on the left.
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Or as I like to think of it, upwind and
downwind.
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It's going to be great living next to
you, buddy.
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And the best news is, old lady Louder's
paying the rent.
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I made it. I'm a cat man.
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Hey, stop by anytime.
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But if I'm wearing leather hot pants,
I'm on the clock.
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If I'm wearing leather hot pants, It's
laundry day.
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Well, I can hardly bear to leave this
house, but let's give it a try.
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Thanks for sticking it out with me,
guys.
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00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:06,839
Glad to help, Drew. You won this one for
every little guy who was offered too
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much money for his house and refused to
sell for whatever stupid reason.
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I won.
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We're finally alone.
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How about a cold one?
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Okay. Can I get a beer to put me in the
mood?
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We can't catch the guy who did That's
All Your Dresses, but I'm sure by now
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in Panama!
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Mr. Wick, I'm sorry about my dress.
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Oh, and you should be sorry.
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00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:04,259
Of course, it's, uh... Two dresses
don't... Into one, of course! Yes,
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00:10:04,260 --> 00:10:05,310
than usual.
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00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:09,640
Welcome back, Carrie.
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I missed the beard. Glad you kept the
nose hair.
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00:10:16,431 --> 00:10:18,339
Thank you, sir.
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Hope there's no hard feelings about
losing them all.
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00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:24,159
Oh, you mean the fact that you held out
so long that the investors pulled out
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and I lost my bonus?
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00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:27,620
No, Gary, it's just business.
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00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:32,339
Look in the telephone book and you'll
find a hundred pages of people who are
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worse off than I am.
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Type up those pages, Gary, and have them
on my desk by five o 'clock.
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Not only that, but I'll do it on the
exact same paper with the exact same
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typeface.
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00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,660
This better not be a trick, Gary.
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00:10:46,301 --> 00:10:49,459
Couldn't wait for tonight, huh?
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00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:52,890
Drew, I swear to God, you'd forget your
head if it wasn't fastened on.
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00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:55,940
Oh, my lunch. Wow, fluffernutter
sandwich.
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Are there nanners in it?
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Oh, really take care of me. I never had
anyone take care of me the way you take
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care of me.
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00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:06,820
Just returning the favor, if you know
what I mean.
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00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:13,120
Well, I never had any complaints, at
least not filed through official
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Hey, uh, you know what you ought to do?
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You gotta move in with me.
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What?
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Slow down, Drew. It's been a long time
since I've lived with anyone.
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00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,409
Well, come on. We're perfect for each
other.
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You're old -fashioned. I look old
-fashioned.
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00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,070
I can eat no fat. I can eat no lean.
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00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,690
Well, I can't argue with that.
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All right.
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00:11:37,590 --> 00:11:38,640
I'm gonna do it.
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00:11:38,690 --> 00:11:40,370
I'll move my stuff in this weekend.
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00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:43,270
Can I install handrails in the shower?
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00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,130
Just kidding, Drew.
189
00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:46,470
No, I already got them.
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00:11:49,891 --> 00:11:54,359
The construction workers are gone.
They're done.
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00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,540
Got my kitchen back.
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00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:57,720
Hey, doormat.
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00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:00,000
Ain't doormat's girlfriend.
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00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,900
I mean, what do you mean?
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00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,550
You're tracking dirt all over your
floor.
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00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:06,520
Tracking dirt on our floor, honey.
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00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,380
Tracking dirt all over our floor.
198
00:12:08,381 --> 00:12:12,619
Oh, Drew, the construction guys broke
your smoke detector, but they replaced
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00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:13,670
with a flammable rag.
200
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,420
So, how was your day?
201
00:12:17,421 --> 00:12:19,299
Oh, I made you a little something at
work.
202
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:22,290
Oh, you made... me a heart with your
computer.
203
00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:25,800
I'm gonna put it right up here next to
your cholesterol test.
204
00:12:27,530 --> 00:12:28,890
Big day for the beef, huh?
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00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:33,800
Hey, uh, so when's dinner, man? I'm
starving.
206
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:36,890
Honey, don't spoil the dinner. I'm
making your favorite.
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00:12:37,510 --> 00:12:39,770
Oh, look out. You got some crumbs.
208
00:12:43,870 --> 00:12:46,460
My mom used to do that for me, but it
wasn't foreplay.
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00:12:50,121 --> 00:12:53,459
This is looking out great, isn't it?
210
00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:56,830
Well, if by great you mean weird and
sort of creepy, then you betcha.
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00:12:56,831 --> 00:13:00,739
What are you talking about? I thought
you guys were over that age thing.
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00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:01,790
Age thing?
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00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:05,150
I'd give anything for the carefree
willies of the age thing again.
214
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:08,979
Drew, you ever talk to your mom about
the birds and the bees?
215
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:10,780
Yeah. Did it make you hot?
216
00:13:12,411 --> 00:13:19,319
Drew, we've been watching this
relationship with you and Celia, and I
217
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,259
it's kind of like you're dating your
mom.
218
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:25,059
There's nothing to discuss. I do not
love Celia in a motherly way. Well, I'm
219
00:13:25,060 --> 00:13:27,530
going to go call my mom, you know, just
as a friend.
220
00:13:27,531 --> 00:13:34,839
Hey, what do you say we celebrate the
house being back together with a little
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00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:35,890
champagne? Okay.
222
00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:38,950
Once I'm liquored up, I don't take no
for an answer.
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00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:42,879
Hey, can you get me those glasses over
here? What, are your legs broken?
224
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,740
Funny, that's what my mom... Excuse me?
225
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,310
Nothing. Let's drink to our house and
our new life together.
226
00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:55,260
Sorry, I seem to spill.
227
00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:07,220
So, I hear your kitchen leans to one
side.
228
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:11,140
That matches your bed, your block, your
car, Cleveland.
229
00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:15,190
You know, Mimi, you can catch more
flies.
230
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,550
Actually, you couldn't possibly catch
more flies.
231
00:14:18,551 --> 00:14:23,959
Looking over these estimates for the
repairs in your house, we seem to have a
232
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,280
bit of a disagreement here.
233
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:28,719
You think because our workers put your
kitchen back together wrong, we should
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00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,770
cover the expenses.
235
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,980
We, on the other hand, feel screw you.
236
00:14:31,981 --> 00:14:36,399
You mean after all this, you're still
going to try to rip me off?
237
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,319
Yes, that's right. We're going to rip
you off because we're bullies. What are
238
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:40,760
you going to do about it? Cry?
239
00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:42,300
What are you going to do? Cry?
240
00:14:42,301 --> 00:14:43,359
Stop it.
241
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,659
Stop it. You have to do something about
this. My whole house leans to the right.
242
00:14:46,660 --> 00:14:49,910
You should get out of breath just
walking from the kitchen to the
243
00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:55,490
Yeah, we were just playing.
244
00:14:56,890 --> 00:14:58,570
Ah, you must be the new girlfriend.
245
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:01,170
So you got yourself a vintage model, eh?
246
00:15:01,270 --> 00:15:04,160
A little more upbeat, but there are lots
more fun to drive.
247
00:15:05,370 --> 00:15:08,560
You ought to get a car yourself, sir.
Save money on those rentals.
248
00:15:08,561 --> 00:15:15,409
Look, Gary, I'm sorry about your house,
but we're not going to pay for any more
249
00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:19,320
repairs. And if you don't like it, well,
you can always cry on Mummy's shoulder.
250
00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:23,720
I'm not his mother and about you paying
for the house. Celia, please.
251
00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:26,940
Drew, shush. You don't interrupt people
when they're talking.
252
00:15:26,941 --> 00:15:31,969
This isn't over, Rick. I'm not paying
for this. You are.
253
00:15:31,970 --> 00:15:35,700
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to
use my lunch break to talk to a lawyer.
254
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:18,570
Set. Sleep.
255
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:30,980
What a day.
256
00:16:30,981 --> 00:16:34,779
Spent all afternoon getting Winford
Lauder to pay for the repairs of my
257
00:16:34,780 --> 00:16:36,460
I got problems with my girlfriend.
258
00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:41,539
And then it took forever for my friend
to get the hint that I wanted him out of
259
00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:44,130
here. All right, okay, we can take a
hint, all right?
260
00:16:44,131 --> 00:16:46,979
You know what would be really cool in
here?
261
00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:48,120
Let's go get our bikes!
262
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:01,450
Hi,
263
00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:02,590
Drew. Hi.
264
00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:05,099
I think we need to talk.
265
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,450
Yeah.
266
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:10,200
I'm really sorry about what happened at
your office.
267
00:17:10,599 --> 00:17:11,649
Oh, shush.
268
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:12,820
Forgotten all about it.
269
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:15,820
it's happening, don't you?
270
00:17:16,180 --> 00:17:17,920
I'm starting to act like your mom.
271
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,080
And today wasn't the first time.
272
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:24,019
The other night when we were kissing
against the wall, I marked your height
273
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,070
a pencil.
274
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,300
And we learned something.
275
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:29,799
When you kiss me, I get taller.
276
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:37,659
Look, every relationship is different.
If ours has a little mother -son thing
277
00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:39,679
going on, it doesn't bother us. Why
should we care?
278
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,480
So you're perfectly fine with this?
279
00:17:41,481 --> 00:17:45,359
Well... don't want you shushing me
anymore, and I should probably quit
280
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,680
take my favorite cartoons.
281
00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:49,100
But I enjoy doing that.
282
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,640
Fine. There you go.
283
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:56,580
Now, what do you say we go discuss this
over, uh, you?
284
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:58,530
Oh, dear.
285
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,300
Where the hell did we talk about it?
286
00:18:01,420 --> 00:18:04,720
So, you actually saw her face, no? Yeah.
287
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:09,620
Come and sleep on the couch.
288
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:13,249
Fine. I'll make some pancakes in the
morning and I'm getting the hell out.
289
00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:14,300
Appreciate it.
290
00:18:14,430 --> 00:18:15,480
Night. Night.
291
00:18:20,610 --> 00:18:21,660
Tommy!
292
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,020
Tommy!
293
00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:33,430
You gotta find me, man.
294
00:18:34,150 --> 00:18:35,450
These pants work too well.
295
00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:37,710
I've never seen Mrs. Lowder like this.
296
00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:42,990
And I've never seen you like that,
Larry.
297
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:45,800
You let your dog on the furniture?
298
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:47,670
Freak.
299
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,050
Hey, Drew.
300
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,010
It's laundry day. Can I borrow some
bleach?
301
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,400
And so the village people were born.
302
00:19:03,450 --> 00:19:08,000
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