All language subtitles for Tacoma.FD.S01E07.Old.Flame.720p.HDTV.x264-CRiMSON[eztv]

♪

Coffee, gum...

tampons?

Seriously?
Tampons.

Wow.
Brave new world, fellas.

Did she say
what kind she wants?

No, no details.
But you know what?

I know a little about tampons
'cause I have a sister.

-I have a mother.
-I've got an ex-wife.

We got this.

So the question is do we get
the pink box or the purple one?

Desert Mist.
[ Chuckles ]

What kind of flavor
is that?

It's a scent of mist
in the desert.

Okay, man.
I don't know.

Do you think she wants
a nighttime tampon?

There's a difference
between nighttime and daytime?

Yeah, yeah, like that one's got
the moon and stars on it.

But so does Lucky Charms,
and they're for the morning.

Huh?
Those are pads.

And there's no such thing
as nighttime tampons.

Are to.
My wife used to send me on runs

for nighttime tampons
all the time.

Well, she hated you.

Trudy: Eddie Spaghetti?

Oh! That is you.
Eddie Penisi.

Uh...
Trudy Towers.

Do you remember me?

Oh, my God,
Trudy Towers.

Of course
I remember you.

You look good.
All grown up.
[ Chuckles ]

Look at you.
You're a firefighter.

Captain, no less.
[ Laughs ]

Gosh.
Yeah, well.

Actually,
I could use your help

with this new carbon
monoxide detector.

I don't know
how to install it.

[ Chuckles ]
It's easy.

You just plug it in.

Plug it in to what?

Into an outlet.

Then what would I do
with my air freshener?

Dispatch: Rescue 42,
65-year-old male

reported chest pains.

Requested EMS response.

24, responding.
I'm so sorry.

I got to go save somebody.

Call me at the station.

I'll help you out
with everything.

All right. Okay, okay.

Okay, Eddie Spaghetti,
what was all that about?

Granny: How do you know her?
She took my virginity.

[ Foreigner's
"Hot Blooded" plays ]

♪♪

♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪

♪ Check it and see ♪

♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪

♪ I'm hot blooded ♪

It was the summer of '92
when a recently divorced

48-year-old former center-fold
became the neighbor

of a horny AF
16-year-old boy.

[ Groans ]

She was 48
and you were 16.

Yep.
She was a center-fold?

Big time.
Really just honed in
on different things there.

Center-fold -- July 1972.

And when I met her,
she was still super fit

from doing those Paula Abdul
workout videos.

To this day, I still get turned
on by leggings with stirrups.

To this day.
Who's Paul Abdul?

He sounds hot.

Sorry, Cap, keep going.
Oh, man.

I would mow her lawn.

And she stepped outside with
a fresh pitcher of lemonade.

I knew it was time
to go back inside.

Hey. [ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ] I can still smell
the scent

of fresh cut grass
mingled with her perfume.

[ Inhales deeply ]

[ Sighs ]

Infatu-oso.

And she taught me everything.

We even did missionary
fifth base.

Sounds like a jazz band.

Wait, what's missionary
fifth base?

Mm. Mm-mm.

Missionary, though?

It's tough,
but you do it.
[ Laughs ]

So, Miss July, you gonna give
her a little summer loving?

Oh, that's not even funny,
dude.

You saw her shuffle around
back there

with the prunes
in her cart.

I mean, one good thrust,
and she'd turn to powder.

They say you always have a
soft spot for your first one.

Yeah, I lost my virginity
to Emily Bernard.

And I wish I had another crack
at it, you know?

She worked at the zoo.

And there was this mob
of baby meerkats

that would watch us
get it on.

Man, it was beautiful.

They would just pop up
and be like, "Mee, mee, mee."

And I'd be like,
"Yeah, yeah."

And they'd be like,
"Mee, mee, mee."

I felt like Matt Damon
in "We Bought a Zoo."

[ Laughs ]

CJ Thomas at the Dairy King
snack shack.

We did it on
this ice cream case.

So now whenever I have sex,
I have this thing...

Oh, come on.
I don't want to hear this.

Na-na-na-na-na-na!

Mine was Mandy Carvallo,
senior year.

High school?
No, college.

Wait, you waited until you were
a senior in college.

No, bro.
She was a senior in college.

I was 27.

[ Laughs ]

Right.
I was a full 10 years
younger than you

when I lost my virginity.

You were seven?

Come on!
You're her uncle!

And you keep popping out
of nowhere.

Talk about sports.

Okay.
Okay, Granny, you go.

Erica Kools.

She was the football
coach's daughter.

-Oh.
-Ooh.

Nice.
You know what?

That's why I have the hots
for the new dispatcher.

She sounds
just like Erica did.

Mm-hmm.

Ah, she, the new
dispatcher is a dude.

No, she isn't.
I've been flirting with her.

She isn't.
No big deal,

but you've definitely
been flirting with a man.

Can I come back in?
Are you guys done now?

Andy: That's your fourth cookie,
rabbit.

You're gonna get diarrhea
from all that chocolate.

[ Laughs ]

Eddie: Hey, Chiefy.

What,
is it mac and cheese day?

Yeah, Pasta Penisi.
Go help yourself.

Leave some
for the rest of us.

[ Chuckles ]

Come on chief, we're at
a perfectly delightful lunch

until you came in here, started
scratching your scaly arms.

Oh, get over, huh?
It's that time of the year.

I get extra dry.

Yeah, it's that time
of the year for me too, chief --

allergy season.
And all the dust

in the station
is from your skin.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.
You need to moisturize.

Nobody needs to moisturize,
okay?

It's a fad.
It's for girls.

Don't point at me.

There's a lot of guys
that moisturize.

I bet these guys moisturize.
Yeah.

I wear night cream
during the daytime

'cause I'm a bad boy.

How come
you don't like it?

I don't know.
It's gross.

Makes my arm hair wet.

I can't feel my fingerprints,
like the loops

and the swirls
get filled up with cream.

Disgusting.
Feel your fingerprints?

That makes no sense.

It literally looks like
you're grating cheese.

Yeah, the whole idea
of moisturizing cream

is to moisturize it
so it doesn't flake like that.

It's a gross word -- moist.
Eddie: Look at his elbow.

It's like a White Walker.
-Oh, God.

-Come on.
-It looks like a root vegetable.

I hope
that's not genetic.

You're like a snake
shedding skin.

All right. Enough, enough
with the lotion talk.

Okay, listen.
Just hear me out.

How about this, okay?
You try moisturizing.

Just try it for one day.

And we'll all shut up about it.
Right, guys?

Yes.
Yes.
Absolutely.

One day?
It's one day.

One day?
One day.

-Yeah.
-Okay, fine.

I will try it just to make you
cry babies shut up.

Great.
Granny: What are we trying?

Quinoa, pilates?

No, it's a...

Dispatch:
Station 24, rescue 42.

See?
See, sounds like a girl.

Wait, it's totally a dude.
You crazy.

No, you're crazy.
You're crazy.

No, it's a...

Sounds like Erica.
It's a dude.

It's a dude.
Sounds like Erica.

Hey!
You two, pinch it off.

Let's go.
Erica had a nut sack...

No, no, no.

♪♪

[ Sultry music plays ]

Thank you for coming,
Eddie.

My pleasure.

♪♪

Stick it here,
in the lower socket.

See.
Lower socket?

Yeah. Easy as pie.
[ Laughs ]

Sticking an inanimate object
into a tight hole,

just like old times,
huh?

[ Laughs ] Yeah.

[ Sighs ] Would you help me
with one more thing?

Yeah, anything.

I have to change the bulb
in this fixture.

And I'm really nervous about
getting up on the step stool.

Say no more.
I'm a firefighter.

I get up on ladders
all the time.

All right.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Laughs ]
All right.

And we meet again.

[ Laughs ]

There we go.

All right.
[ Chuckles ] Anyway.

I should probably
be going.

Feels like
I've done a lot.

You look terrific.
I mean.

I know you're really busy,

but I have one last favor
to ask of you.

Yeah, Trudy, anything.

Will you take me up
to my bedroom

and plug your air freshener
into my lower socket?

[ Chuckles ]

I'm dying.

I've only got two months
to live.

Trudy, that's terrible.

And I want to make love
to you one last time.

So, like, you were my first
and I'd be your last.

If you're dying, I'd be a real
shitty person to say no.

Yeah.

♪♪

[ Laughter ]

Granny: Hey.

How'd it go
with Centrum Silver?

Yeah, did you do
a little coo-coo-ca-choo

with Mrs. Robinson?

[ Laughter ]

Did she complain
about mobile banking?

My grandma always complains
about it.

It's pretty tricky.
Eddie: You guys are sick.

Why don't you hyenas
get your mind out of the gutter.

Hey, oh.
Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning.
Hey.

Hey.
Hey. How's it going, Chief?

Well,
you're in a good mood.

That's because I'm a new man --
a new smoother man.

Oh. Yeah, who do I have
to thank for this?

I mean, look.

I have asked this man
to moisturize for how long.

And these are the hands
that I married.

Look at them.
So soft.

Yeah, you know what we did with
these soft hands last night?

Are you familiar with
the Kamasutra position

called
"The Crunchy Fry"?

Hey, I don't want
to hear that.

Seriously.

They usually smell like
corn ships and foot powder,

but now...
Ugh.

Lotion!
Yeah.

What do you got there?
It's a beautifying lotion.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Is it good?
I love it.

It's got cocoa butter
in it and stuff.

I use it
for my whole body.

It's mine now.

What?
This is the Chief's lotion.

What are you
mugging the guy?
I got a lady to impress.

Aw, come here.
Come here, come here.

Mm. Mwah.
Mwah. Mmm.

Look how moist my lips are.
My lips are moist.

Oh, come on, guys.

Grow up.
I love this Chief.

Yeah, grow up.
It's natural.

How do you think
you got here?

You keep turning back the clock
on those paws.

I will.
Eddie: Get a room, you guys.

Lucy: I'm gonna have
another sibling.
Whoo!

That is some stink
from you.

What is that?
Oh, man.

That's
that Infatu-oso smell.

You remember that smell
of that old lady?

Across the street?

Nude-y Trudy Towers --
it was her perfume.

It was gross.

Yeah, you know, I helped her out
around the house yesterday.

So probably some of it
rubbed off on me.

Oh, my God.

Eddie, are you sleeping
with Trudy Towers again?

Oh...

What?
What is wrong with you people?

It's like you all ate
asshole biscuits

this morning
for breakfast.

Eddie,
you are such a pervert!

How old is she now?

How should I know?
73.

In other words, too old
for me to have sex with.

Oh, yeah.
Right.

If Diane Sawyer walked in here
right now,

you'd make some news
with her, huh?

She's 73.
That's unfair.

You know I have a soft spot
for anchorwomen.

It's okay to admit it,
Captain.

Gladys Knight
is 74 years old,

and I'd ride
her "Midnight Train"

all the way to Georgia
and back.

Joe Biden is 75,

and I'd be on his
foreign-relations committee

any day of the week!

No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

Baby, please.
You, stop banging an old lady.

That is disgusting.

Hey, hey, hey,
for the last time,

I would never have sex
with a 73-year-old.

Everybody got that?
Okay.

We're just razzing ya.
Hey, how old do you go?

I'd go grandma
from "Moana."

Oh, really?
Yeah.

And then I'd let her turn
into a stingray,

and then I'd do it again.

She's animated, though.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why?
What about you?

I always had a thing
for that lady

from the "Blade Runner"
with the snake.

Oh.
Always found her hot.

Hey, you.
Thanks for calling back.

Trudy: I'm sorry
I missed your call.

I fell down three times
getting the phone.

[ Laughs ]
That's what I get

for having
my legs up over my --

[ Loud beep ]

Did you hear that?
What was that?

Yeah. I think that was you
pressing the buttons.

No. No.
It was different.

That's all right.
Phones can be tricky.

It's a 22-year-old
I met at a rave last night.

So dumb, she can't
even use the phone.

Mm.
A rave, huh?

That's how I roll.

Mm.
Congrats.

Oh, my God. I cannot stop
thinking about you.

When can I see you again?
Trudy: How about tomorrow?

Let's meet at the soup station
at 11:30.

Make sure that we get one
of the booths in the middle.

Otherwise, you can't get
the waitress's attention

when you want a refill
of --
[ Loud beep ]

Aah. Okay. Okay.
Yeah. Soup station at 11:30.

I'll see -- It's this waitress
I'm dating.

She, uh, is working her way
through college

'cause that's what
young people do.

Trudy, the thing you did with
my tingle button last night

was, like, unbelievable.
[ Loud beep ]

Granny: Paramedic Smith from
Station 24 to Dispatch.

Dispatch:
Dispatch to Station 24.

Hey!

Um, I was working
on the paperwork

on that cardiac you
sent us out on yesterday,

and I don't have
the proper address.

Could you give that
to me?

3843 Sammish Avenue.

I'm writing it down
right now.

Right now, as we speak.

I don't know what I'd do
without you.

Oh, don't mention it.

Is there a science lab
around here?

'Cause I'm sensing
some chemistry.

What's your name?

I'm Taylor.

Anything else
I can help you with?

Oh, no.

You've answered all
of my questions, Taylor.

♪ Taylor ♪

Ike: Are we really doing this?
We're gonna prank the chief?

Of course we are.
He's a lotion bully,

and that's the worst kind
of bully.

He's gonna kill us --
you know that, right?

No, no.

He's gonna realize that
it's mayonnaise right away,

and then, once he does,
we'll all laugh about it.

He'll be like, "Man..."

He'll be like, "Ha!
You guys are my favorite."

Be like, "Ah, man,
we have fun here."

[ Laughs ]

Mm. Here.
Okay.

What?
What do I do with it?

Well, just put it down.
Yeah.

Yeah, just put it there,
yeah, so he can see.

Ooh! This must be
what cocaine feels like.

I know.
Granny: Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh!
Wee-ooh!

Hey, come check this out.

Gather around, everybody.

Look at this.

Boom.
Andy: Damn!

Aha!

Wow.
That's that lady?

Dynamite.
Trudy Towers was hot, dude.

Whew!
Hey.

What are you guys looking at?
What's this?

Oh, a Q&A
with Richard Nixon.

I wonder
what he's been up to.

This is a 1972
"Playpen" magazine,

and that is the old lady
we've been talking about.

Whoa!

You are having sex with her,
aren't you?

All right, enough.
Enough.

The day I bang a modern-day
Trudy Towers is the day

I eat a burrito made out of
Granny's cheetah-skin underwear.

Oh!

Okay.
They're leopard skin.

Okay.
But I'll take it, anyway.

Whatever.
That's a good bet.

[ Laughs ]
Oh, yeah, um...

What's that?
What?

That's just, um --
That's just some lotion.

Some new lotion?
New lotion, yeah.

It's very
super hydrating.

Yeah.
Just regular, plain.

The best kind.
The best kind.

Yeah.
Go ahead, please.

Try it out.
Just use a bit.

Ooh, yeah.
Whoa.

Yeah, you're really
putting it on there.

That's great.
Yeah.

Smells good?

Wow.
It smells...

Like?
...familiar.

Uh-huh.
It smells familiar.

Uh-huh.
Do you like it?

Well, like, it says Alpine,
but it's not Alpine.

It's like...
Yeah.

Smells like a --
like a picnic.

Yeah!
Yeah.

Like a fancy picnic,
you know?

We're sorry.
Okay.

With the good condiments.
Yeah, yeah.

Right?
It's not ketchup.

It's not, you know,
mustard.

Like a brown mustard
with the seeds in it.

Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we didn't know.

We were just like,
"Ah, let's do it."

Yeah.
You know what it's like?

It's like mine.
[ Laughs ]

I'm taking this with me.

This is now my lotion,
guys.

Thank you very much.
Oh, yeah, but --

Appreciate it.
Sorry, Chief --

Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Nah, nah, no.

It's mine.
My lotion.

What just happened?

H-He didn't know
that was mayonnaise.

Ohh!

Ohh!
Oho, oh!

Good one, Chief.

Mm.

Lucy: So, I was just filling out
my paperwork

for the MVA from yesterday,

and I realized
that I don't have the address.

Could you get it for me?

Taylor:
1216 East McKinley.

Thank you so much.

I mean, I have just been slammed
with paperwork.

You sound tall.

How tall are you?
5'10".

Has anyone ever told you
that you sound like Joe Biden?

Is that a good thing?

Oh, it's a great thing --
I mean, definitely, in my book.

Uh, thanks. Gotta go.
Out.

Aha!

You were on with Dispatch,
weren't you?

No, I was just --
I just had a paperwork question.

In the bunk room.
Please.

You were flirting.
Okay, fine.

Maybe I was.

But so what?
Who cares?

I'm cool with it,
as long as you know

you were flirting with my
future girlfriend named Taylor.

Actually, I was talking
to my future boyfriend,

who happens to be 5'10".

Just like the other 8%
of women in Tacoma, you mean?

Where do you get
these statistics from?

Oh, is that Joe Biden?
You -- Get out of here, man!

Stop flirting
with my girl.

Taylor's mine.

She's mine!

Terry: Oh.
Oho, oh.

Oh, you thirsty, boys?

Oh, drink that in.

So wet.

Wet and juicy.

I got juicy knees.

Hey...
I got juicy knees.

Goodbye, scaly skin.

Creamy McConky.

Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup!

Where have you been all my life?

Thanks, Swisshelm!

♪♪

♪♪

Whoa, see, I told you
that was a bad idea.

Shh!
Where is it?

Do you think
he locks this?

Here, here, here, here.
I got it.

I got it.
Let's go.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh.
Hey.

What are you guys doing
in here?

We're --
We're looking for you.

You know, see how, uh, the,
uh, Swisshelm was...

How's it...
...working out.

You could have just
asked me.

Yeah.
Oh, how's it...

How's it working?
Wait a minute.

You guys were trying
to steal it, weren't you?

No way.
You were doing something
to it.

Why would we replace it
with anything or do anything?

You were pranking
the chief's lotion.

I never did that
in my day.
Oh!

That's some big balls
you guys got.

Yeah.
You guys got big balls.

[ Laughs ]
You guys are flying

a little too
close to the sun, huh?

Yeah.
Okay.

You got us.
All right.

I tell you what --
you got to wake up pretty early

in the morning to put one over
on old Creamy McConky.

Oh.

Hey, Chief, I don't know
if you -- you...

Dismissed!
Okay, thanks.

Station 24 to Dispatch.

This is Lucy and Granny.

We were wondering if we could
get an address

on that busted power line
from earlier today.

Taylor: Checking.

One moment, please.

And how's your week been?

Oh, you know how it is when
it's that time of the month.

Payday!

So...

what are your co-workers
like?

Oh!
Darn it!

I just sat on my nuts!

Come on. I was saving
those almonds for later.

That doesn't help us
at all.

I've got an idea.

Start the car.

Terry: All righty.

[ Laughs ]

Think you're gonna
prank the chief, huh?

I'll show you how
to prank somebody.

You guys are amateurs.

You don't prank the chief.

Nobody pranks the chief, okay?

[ Laughs ]

Hey, guys, guys!
Come here!

Come here!

What's up?
I was making some sandwiches,

and I made a few extra.

Don't you hate
when that happens?

And, uh, I was thinking
maybe you guys

might like to eat them,
hmm?

Hmm?
Yeah, they're great.

They're really delicious.

Seriously,
sit down right now.

I could eat.
Take a bite.

Take a bite.
They're really good.

Delicious sandwiches
right there.

Hey.
Bite them at the same time.

That's always fun.

You want us to bite them
at the same time?

Like friends.
[ Laughs ]

Yeah.

Ah! [ Laughs ]
I got you guys!

That's not mayo.
What?

It's lotion!

Ohh!
Ohh!

I put the Swisshelm cream
on there!

That's a horrible prank!

Oh, man!
It tastes like...

Oh, yeah.

...lotiony in my mouth.

Oh, man.

Oh, you guys are idiots!
Come on!

Ohh!
Man!

Ohh!
Egh!

Hey, that's why you don't
prank the chief.

'Cause the chief gonna prank you
10 times harder.

Man, you got us, Chief.
Oh, man.

Idiots.
Yeah.

Oh, I'm gonna feel sick
for a while.

Gross!
Ohh.

Pretty good sandwich,
though.

Yeah, it's not bad,
actually.

Mm.

Mmm.

♪♪

Guess my brother isn't
the deviant scumbag

I thought he was.

Hmm.

♪♪

What do you think,
lawn boy?

You thirsty?

Parched.
Ohh.

You got something?

I'd like you to mow me.

♪♪

[ Exhales sharply ]

Oh!

[ Laughs ]

Take me.
Take me!

I'm taking you.

[ Laughs ]

[ Radio chatter ]

He has got to be
in here.

Granny: I'm sure she is.

Dispatch to Engine 3.
Commercial fire alarm at...

2-7-1 -- 84th and Mastery.

It's her?
Engine 8, Engine 14,
switch to channel 3.

We have a gas leak
at an apartment complex at 2381

Wilson Avenue.
It's him?

Vehicle accident,
multiple cars...

...westbound
on West Valley Highway.

How do they all sound
like Taylor?

Excuse me.

Is there a Taylor
who works here?

Oh, you must mean
the TAYLOR --

Tacoma Automated
Linguistic Optimization Robot.

What?
All the dispatchers' voices

are run through
that synthesizer.

They found that firefighters'
response times are shorter

when we're unidentifiable.

We've actually been having
a pretty good time

with the anonymity.

Damn it.
I just sat on my nuts.

I was saving those almonds
for later.

[ Laughs ]

These boobs
are killing me.

I work
with a bunch of morons.

Ooh, Ken,
this is Paramedic Smith!

[ Laughter ]

Oh, welcome to the science lab,
lover boy.

McConky, which one of us
sounds like Joe Biden now, huh?

[ Laughs ]

Hey, McConky,
don't forget to vote.

[ Laughter ]

Station 24, medical emergency --
broken hip.

21219 Proctor Avenue.

Come on, man.
That's us.

Hey, just so you guys know,
it's not cool to mess

with people's feelings.

[ Laughter ]

It's totally cool.

Totally cool.

♪♪

Why was she naked?
I don't know.

I was out here
mowing the lawn.

It's not against the law
for a senior citizen

to walk around naked
in her own home.

You know that, right?

Cap, I know that, yeah.

How'd she break her hip?
I don't know.

I-I was out here, okay,
remember?

And I heard what sounded like
somebody stepping on a twig,

and then I turned around,

and there she was
with a broken hip.

Ohhh.

[ Chuckles ]
Chunky.

♪♪

Ahh.

Look at how shiny he is.

Andy: Is he sweating?
Ohh.

Hey, Chief,
what are you doing here?

I think the question is,
what's Eddie doing here?

Yeah.
I mean, how can you hear

the sound of a twig snap
while she's inside?

I'm -- I'm the one
that's traumatized here, okay?

Like...

Hey.
What the hell is wrong with you?

Having sex
with a 73-year-old woman?

-Ohh!
-Ohh!

Whoa!

Is that what happened?

-No.
-She's got osteoporosis.

Why would you put her
in that kind of a position?

Oh, what position?
Missionary fifth base?

Nice.

I was just doing
what she wanted.

She's dying, okay?

Actually, I'm not.

I just say that
to all my naive boy toys.

Oh!
Hey-o!

Hey, EMT man,
I like your tight pants.

They look good.

-Wow.
-Get it, girl.

She don't stop.
Oh.

Chief does not
look good.

Oh, man.
We got to say something.

You got to say something.

Hey, Chief.

-Whoa!
-Dad!
-Chief!

Oh, my God!
No, no, no.

We're taking this one
to the grave.

Chief?
Did you trip or something?

♪♪

[ Coughing ]

That's a virulent strain
of salmonella.

I bet I got lotion
on that sandwich.

Mnh, no, honey.

You can't get salmonella
from lotion.

Yes, you can.

I used that lotion
all day long,

and then I was fainting,
and I was puking.

And the last time I fainted,
I had a vision --

I was visited by this guy --
St. Ives,

the patron saint
of dry skin.

And he said I dishonored him,
so that's got to mean something.

All right, we're gonna head out,
Chief.

All right, see you, pal.
Wait, guys.

Just hold on.

[ Coughing ]

I just want to say I-I'm feeling
an enormous amount of remorse

for what I did to you guys.
What?

No, don't worry about it,
Chief, please.

I fed you guys
a lotion sandwich.

Oh, yeah, right.
One sandwich.

I mean, I've eaten weirder
sandwiches than that.

We all do that.
That's...

I mean, you could be
laying here right now.

[ Coughing ]

Ohh.
God. Yeah.

You should rest.
[ Farts loudly ]

Ohh.

And I shouldn't have done it,
and I'm sorry about that.

We're over it.
We're fine.

[ Coughs ]
Can you forgive me?

We forgive you, Chief,
all right?

Just get better.

Let's go.
It was Andy's idea.

He switched your lotion
for mayo.

I didn't want to do it,
but he wanted to do it.

I'm so sorry!

I thought we were going
to the grave with that.

No, you said that.
You said that.

I did for both of us.
Mayo?

I mean, how do we know
it's the mayo?

Of course
it was the mayo.

There's eggs in mayo.

We didn't know that
there was eggs in mayo.

No, there's not eggs
in mayo.

You gave your chief
salmonella?
Not on purpose.

-We didn't try to.
-Okay.

Your blood pressure's
gonna rise.

Let's calm down.
Get me out of this bed.

No. No, no.
You shouldn't get up.

I'm gonna get some bacteria
on you guys.

[ Beeping ]

Ohh.

He's gone.

It smells funny.
Is he dead?

You guys, get the hell out of
here before he wakes up, please.

Yeah, okay, for sure.

Granny: ♪ Underwear ♪

♪ You'll eat my underwear ♪

♪ You're eating
my underwear ♪

♪ Oh, yeah,
eating my underwear ♪

[ Crying ]
♪ Yeah ♪

By the way, you owe me $14
for that.
[ Gags ]