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1
00:00:00,558 --> 00:00:01,675
Thanks for seeing me.
2
00:00:01,783 --> 00:00:03,875
- I'm just such a mess right now.
- Of course.
3
00:00:03,910 --> 00:00:06,444
Is that Edie? Let me
guess, she's a mess, right?
4
00:00:06,479 --> 00:00:08,413
Craig has been gone
for almost two days.
5
00:00:08,448 --> 00:00:10,448
He won't answer his phone.
I don't know what to tell Alan.
6
00:00:10,483 --> 00:00:11,983
Plus, our wedding caterer
keeps calling
7
00:00:12,018 --> 00:00:13,618
about the appetizers...
I panicked.
8
00:00:13,653 --> 00:00:14,886
I told her just double them.
9
00:00:14,921 --> 00:00:17,955
Shh. Take the wine.
Yeah, be less crazy.
10
00:00:17,991 --> 00:00:20,992
Or drink a whole lot of wine
and get real crazy!
11
00:00:21,027 --> 00:00:23,928
Linda, you want to get crazy?
I'll get crazy!
12
00:00:23,963 --> 00:00:25,530
Again I am so sorry
about this Zorn thing.
13
00:00:25,565 --> 00:00:27,432
Honestly, it's fine.
14
00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:29,701
I have no feelings for Zorn,
which is why
15
00:00:29,736 --> 00:00:31,436
this whole Craig thing
is so crazy.
16
00:00:31,471 --> 00:00:33,504
"Zorn and I were meant
to be together"?
17
00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:35,206
If that were true,
we'd still be married,
18
00:00:35,241 --> 00:00:37,341
and I wouldn't owe him
ten chickens a month.
19
00:00:37,377 --> 00:00:40,679
- Zephyrian alimony is so weird.
- I just don't know what to do.
20
00:00:40,714 --> 00:00:41,779
I'll tell you what you're gonna do.
21
00:00:41,815 --> 00:00:44,749
You're gonna come with me, and
we're gonna go find your fiancé
22
00:00:44,784 --> 00:00:47,018
together, if that's what you
really definitely want to do.
23
00:00:47,053 --> 00:00:48,553
Like, 100% for sure.
24
00:00:48,588 --> 00:00:50,455
- How are you going to do that?
- Edie, sweetie,
25
00:00:50,490 --> 00:00:51,956
I'm a world-class hunter, all right.
26
00:00:51,991 --> 00:00:53,758
Now, of course, I've never
taken my prey alive,
27
00:00:53,793 --> 00:00:56,558
- but how different can it be, right?
- Hey, I'll come, too.
28
00:00:56,593 --> 00:00:57,528
- Oh, hell yeah.
- Um...
29
00:00:57,564 --> 00:00:59,130
Chasing a guy who doesn't
want to be found
30
00:00:59,165 --> 00:01:01,099
is not my ideal way to
get out of town, but hey,
31
00:01:01,134 --> 00:01:04,836
- a vacation's a vacation. I'll drive.
- Oh, yeah!
32
00:01:04,871 --> 00:01:07,171
- All right. I guess I need all the help I can get.
- Hey, Linda, babe,
33
00:01:07,207 --> 00:01:09,440
you think my centaur sex suit
will fit in your car?
34
00:01:09,476 --> 00:01:11,409
It took me, like, 45 minutes
to squeeze into, so...
35
00:01:11,444 --> 00:01:13,611
Oh, absolutely not.
36
00:01:13,646 --> 00:01:15,046
- Not in my car.
- Okay, fine. No big deal.
37
00:01:16,483 --> 00:01:18,249
Yeah.
38
00:01:18,284 --> 00:01:19,350
The zipper...
39
00:01:26,191 --> 00:01:27,191
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
40
00:01:32,799 --> 00:01:35,833
Come on, Alan. If you can
show me, you can show them.
41
00:01:35,869 --> 00:01:37,735
I didn't think you were
really gonna make me do this.
42
00:01:37,771 --> 00:01:40,805
I only agreed 'cause... I thought
we could make out some more.
43
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:42,306
Can I tell you a secret?
44
00:01:42,342 --> 00:01:45,042
I would have made out
with you anyway. Come on.
45
00:01:45,078 --> 00:01:46,511
- Come on!
- Fine.
46
00:01:54,454 --> 00:01:57,121
♪ I see you walking ♪
47
00:01:57,157 --> 00:01:59,056
- # Walking down the street #
- Hey...
48
00:01:59,092 --> 00:02:00,391
Alan's got Zephyrian legs!
49
00:02:00,426 --> 00:02:02,794
- Oh, my God, they're into it?
- I told you.
50
00:02:02,829 --> 00:02:04,162
People love it when
you're different.
51
00:02:04,197 --> 00:02:07,098
Let your freak flag fly,
Son of Zorn.
52
00:02:10,904 --> 00:02:13,404
Ah, well, I've called everyone
53
00:02:13,439 --> 00:02:15,339
who would know where Craig is,
and no one does.
54
00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:18,209
Wow, you are much less freaked
out after a little wine.
55
00:02:18,244 --> 00:02:21,445
Hey, we should take you
to a vineyard if Craig turns up dead.
56
00:02:21,481 --> 00:02:23,681
Anyway, want to hand me
that sweater?
57
00:02:23,716 --> 00:02:26,417
I'm in hunter mode now,
so I apologize in advance
58
00:02:26,452 --> 00:02:27,752
if it's turning you both on sexually.
59
00:02:27,787 --> 00:02:30,221
Uh, turn left up here.
60
00:02:30,256 --> 00:02:31,556
So just by smelling
Craig's sweater,
61
00:02:31,591 --> 00:02:33,391
Zorn can catch his scent
and track him?
62
00:02:33,426 --> 00:02:35,359
Zorn's nose is incredibly powerful.
63
00:02:35,395 --> 00:02:37,094
Ooh, ooh, is that Craig?
64
00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:39,564
No, no, that's a baby crawling
in a field of jasmine.
65
00:02:39,599 --> 00:02:42,066
Okay, turn right now.
Turn right! Turn right!
66
00:02:42,101 --> 00:02:43,434
- Turn right, Linda!
- What? Warn me.
67
00:02:43,469 --> 00:02:44,836
I'm in the left lane.
68
00:02:44,871 --> 00:02:46,938
Remember when you tracked Skunkman?
69
00:02:46,973 --> 00:02:49,941
Oh, Skunkman, that's right!
No, he got cold feet at his wedding,
70
00:02:49,976 --> 00:02:52,510
and we tracked him down
at that rent-a-chapel, right?
71
00:02:52,545 --> 00:02:53,911
Yeah, and he was so hammered
72
00:02:53,947 --> 00:02:55,780
he got married to
the wrong woman by accident.
73
00:02:55,815 --> 00:02:57,748
And that marriage lasted 21 years.
74
00:02:57,784 --> 00:02:59,550
Could have gone longer
if he hadn't had
75
00:02:59,586 --> 00:03:01,052
his tiny rodent skull crushed.
76
00:03:01,087 --> 00:03:03,087
His wife ended up getting it
stuffed and mounted.
77
00:03:03,122 --> 00:03:06,224
So those little glass eyes
stare at her now as she sleeps.
78
00:03:06,259 --> 00:03:11,128
Love is just a beautiful,
strange, weird sexy thing.
79
00:03:11,164 --> 00:03:13,631
So... do I need to turn
anytime soon or...
80
00:03:13,666 --> 00:03:16,484
Linda, we're reminiscing
and honoring the memory
81
00:03:16,485 --> 00:03:19,971
of my dear friend Skunkman.
Please be respectful.
82
00:03:20,006 --> 00:03:21,906
Oh, you should have
turned back there.
83
00:03:21,941 --> 00:03:24,408
Hey, guys, thank you so
much for letting me stay here.
84
00:03:24,444 --> 00:03:27,178
Of course!
Anything for my little bro.
85
00:03:27,213 --> 00:03:28,980
Or for an investor
in my new business.
86
00:03:29,015 --> 00:03:32,984
Luckily, while you're here,
you can be both.
87
00:03:33,019 --> 00:03:34,886
Oh, what happened to the DJ
classes that I paid for?
88
00:03:34,921 --> 00:03:37,088
I finished them,
but all the DJ jobs
89
00:03:37,123 --> 00:03:39,757
want you to work at night,
and that's when I go clubbing.
90
00:03:39,792 --> 00:03:41,125
Look, I talked to Edie.
91
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,361
She's looking for you.
What is going on?
92
00:03:43,396 --> 00:03:44,795
Oh. Everything is fine.
93
00:03:44,831 --> 00:03:46,530
Edie just has some stuff
she needs to work out
94
00:03:46,566 --> 00:03:48,132
with her ex-husband, Zorn.
95
00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:50,968
But I think those two are gonna
be real happy together.
96
00:03:51,004 --> 00:03:53,638
Those two go together like
peanut butter and steak.
97
00:03:53,673 --> 00:03:58,776
Ah, my food truck. I still don't
know why that didn't work out.
98
00:03:58,811 --> 00:04:00,411
Because people are idiots, Robert.
99
00:04:00,446 --> 00:04:02,213
Well, everything happens
for a reason.
100
00:04:02,248 --> 00:04:04,148
My failed dog-walking business,
101
00:04:04,183 --> 00:04:06,851
face grease for people
who can't sweat.
102
00:04:06,886 --> 00:04:12,023
Those were steps down a path to
bring me to my true calling...
103
00:04:12,058 --> 00:04:15,793
Rob Ross's Artisanal
Blackberry Moonshine.
104
00:04:15,828 --> 00:04:17,094
Hmm.
105
00:04:17,130 --> 00:04:20,331
I'm gonna open a distillery.
Go ahead take a sip.
106
00:04:21,734 --> 00:04:24,335
- Mm. Mm.
- What do you think?
107
00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:27,438
I brewed it up in your old fish tank.
108
00:04:27,473 --> 00:04:30,808
Ooh, look what I got, Edie.
It's our old road-trip mix.
109
00:04:30,843 --> 00:04:34,345
It's all Zephyrian minstrel
ballads written about me.
110
00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:37,148
♪ Fairies, queens and maidens ♪
111
00:04:37,183 --> 00:04:40,885
♪ There's no girl he couldn't bed ♪
112
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,021
♪ Nor a soul ♪
113
00:04:44,057 --> 00:04:46,691
♪ He couldn't save... ♪
114
00:04:48,795 --> 00:04:50,761
♪ Zorn, Zorn... ♪
115
00:04:50,797 --> 00:04:53,214
Aw, crap, its the po-po.
This is what happens
116
00:04:53,215 --> 00:04:55,533
when you blast Zephyrian
folk music in the burbs.
117
00:04:55,568 --> 00:04:57,802
They're pulling me over
for a rolling stop?
118
00:04:57,837 --> 00:05:00,671
What is this, traffic school?
119
00:05:00,707 --> 00:05:02,239
Hey, don't worry.
Edie and I got this.
120
00:05:02,275 --> 00:05:04,909
- Edes, Jewel of Mumbasca?
- Just like old times.
121
00:05:04,944 --> 00:05:06,510
Here we go.
122
00:05:06,546 --> 00:05:08,412
Sorry, Officer,
we were in a rush.
123
00:05:08,448 --> 00:05:10,781
We have to get this
rare jewel to a museum.
124
00:05:10,817 --> 00:05:13,284
Maybe he could take this
priceless, untraceable jewel
125
00:05:13,319 --> 00:05:15,820
on his police motorcycle.
Are you sure, Edie?
126
00:05:15,855 --> 00:05:17,288
I mean, the Jewel of Mumbasca,
127
00:05:17,323 --> 00:05:19,190
which could quickly be
unloaded at any pawnshop,
128
00:05:19,225 --> 00:05:22,860
is worth, oh, I'd say,
hundreds of thousands of dollars.
129
00:05:22,895 --> 00:05:25,696
Are you seriously trying
to bribe a police officer?
130
00:05:25,732 --> 00:05:28,833
Frankly, I am offended
you would even think such a thing!
131
00:05:28,868 --> 00:05:31,135
Why don't you look
directly into this jewel,
132
00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:34,638
clear your mind, and then
tell me if you really think
133
00:05:34,674 --> 00:05:38,075
we're trying to bribe you.
134
00:05:38,111 --> 00:05:40,077
- And there he goes.
- Come on, come on.
135
00:05:40,113 --> 00:05:41,145
Let's go.
Let's get out of here!
136
00:05:42,548 --> 00:05:45,616
We used to use that trick
all the time in Zephyria.
137
00:05:45,651 --> 00:05:46,817
It's gotten us out
of six speeding tickets,
138
00:05:46,853 --> 00:05:49,053
and a ton of public
nudity charges.
139
00:05:49,088 --> 00:05:50,788
Yeah, nobody ran faster naked
than Edie.
140
00:05:50,823 --> 00:05:53,824
If the cops showed up,
she was just a blur of peach.
141
00:05:53,860 --> 00:05:55,726
Yeah. That's true.
142
00:05:55,762 --> 00:05:58,062
I used to pull some scams, too.
143
00:05:58,097 --> 00:05:59,930
- Oh, really? Like what?
- Oh, yeah.
144
00:05:59,966 --> 00:06:01,999
- My sisters and I would unscrew arcade games...
- Hey, Edes,
145
00:06:02,035 --> 00:06:03,701
check out this naked blast
from the past.
146
00:06:03,736 --> 00:06:06,237
We were swimming in teddy bears.
147
00:06:06,272 --> 00:06:07,371
Yeah, no, I got an app that
lets me swap people's faces,
148
00:06:07,407 --> 00:06:09,473
but I did it with our genitals.
149
00:06:09,509 --> 00:06:11,275
I didn't even know
that was possible.
150
00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:12,910
Hey, if you like that one,
you should see the one I did
151
00:06:12,945 --> 00:06:15,212
with LeBron James
and Shailene Woodley.
152
00:06:15,248 --> 00:06:17,248
Just disturbing.
153
00:06:17,283 --> 00:06:20,418
Son of Zorn! Son of Zorn!
Son of Zorn!
154
00:06:20,453 --> 00:06:21,886
Son of Zorn...
155
00:06:23,656 --> 00:06:26,290
Yeah!
156
00:06:26,325 --> 00:06:27,958
Oh, that was a good one.
157
00:06:27,994 --> 00:06:30,227
Alan, what are you doing?
Wasn't that your backpack?
158
00:06:30,263 --> 00:06:32,163
Oh, no, that's someone else's
backpack... I kicked mine,
159
00:06:32,198 --> 00:06:35,132
- like, five backpacks ago.
- Son of Zorn, that was incredible.
160
00:06:35,168 --> 00:06:38,035
Think you can kick something
a little bigger?
161
00:06:43,042 --> 00:06:45,342
♪ Ride on my roller coaster
all day... ♪
162
00:06:47,747 --> 00:06:50,414
My apartment!
163
00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:53,117
I mean... my car.
Who did this?
164
00:06:53,152 --> 00:06:57,254
- Hi, Coach...
- Son of Zorn, my office, now!
165
00:06:59,725 --> 00:07:01,725
♪ I am Zorn ♪
166
00:07:01,761 --> 00:07:04,462
So how long is this
Zorn mix tape?
167
00:07:04,497 --> 00:07:07,832
Oh, yeah, no, it's really long.
This, right here.
168
00:07:07,867 --> 00:07:09,533
This, this is where Craig's trail stops.
169
00:07:09,569 --> 00:07:11,769
- # I am Zorn #
- He's inside.
170
00:07:11,804 --> 00:07:15,039
- Very impressive, Zorn.
- Ha! That's nothing.
171
00:07:15,074 --> 00:07:18,509
I once tracked down Needle Man
in the Mountains of Haystack.
172
00:07:19,879 --> 00:07:22,646
Craig, it's Edie!
I love you!
173
00:07:22,682 --> 00:07:25,049
And I only want to be with you!
174
00:07:26,152 --> 00:07:28,119
- Oh...
- Oh, my God.
175
00:07:28,154 --> 00:07:30,588
PartyGirl82. You came.
176
00:07:30,623 --> 00:07:33,424
I was starting to believe all my
friends, who said you weren't real.
177
00:07:34,827 --> 00:07:36,994
Um, there must be some mistake.
178
00:07:37,029 --> 00:07:39,864
Wait, a minute.
That's Craig's sweater.
179
00:07:39,899 --> 00:07:43,067
Hey, hey, hey, I'd know that
lame-ass sweater anywhere.
180
00:07:43,102 --> 00:07:45,336
Where'd you dump
Craig's body, you psycho?!
181
00:07:45,371 --> 00:07:48,139
Did you keep that horrible cardigan
as some sort of sick trophy?
182
00:07:48,174 --> 00:07:51,108
I bought it at the Goodwill
in Fullerton Hills.
183
00:07:51,144 --> 00:07:55,846
That's all I can afford after sending
all my money to PartyGirl here.
184
00:07:55,882 --> 00:07:58,782
All right, this one's on Craig
for being so dang charitable.
185
00:07:58,818 --> 00:08:00,484
I'm so sorry, I thought
you were my fiancé.
186
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:04,519
- I am, according to your letters.
- Okay, Edie,
187
00:08:04,554 --> 00:08:08,683
let's get out of here before
this guy turns you into a suit.
188
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,940
- Oh, God, what are we gonna do?
- Just calm down, Edie.
189
00:08:12,976 --> 00:08:14,909
I made a mistake, but I can fix it.
190
00:08:14,944 --> 00:08:17,345
It's not like we have to do
anything crazy, okay?
191
00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:19,313
Oh, I know, I'll summon a hawk.
192
00:08:19,349 --> 00:08:21,582
No, Zorn.
That's too dangerous.
193
00:08:21,618 --> 00:08:23,284
- No, come on, it'll be fun. No, it'll be good.
- Zorn!
194
00:08:23,319 --> 00:08:24,852
So he's just gonna
ask the hawk
195
00:08:24,888 --> 00:08:26,621
- where Craig is?
- That's insane.
196
00:08:26,656 --> 00:08:28,956
He's just gonna swap minds
with a hawk.
197
00:08:28,992 --> 00:08:30,858
Hawk-I-saw, Hawk-I-see!
198
00:08:30,894 --> 00:08:33,394
By the power of Zorn,
I summon thee!
199
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,269
♪ On the wings of love ♪
200
00:08:41,304 --> 00:08:43,371
♪ Up and above the clouds ♪
201
00:08:43,406 --> 00:08:45,139
♪ The only way to fly... ♪
202
00:08:45,175 --> 00:08:49,544
Man, it's nice up here.
Nothing in my way but open sky.
203
00:08:49,579 --> 00:08:51,546
♪ On the wings of love... ♪
204
00:08:51,581 --> 00:08:53,147
What's so dangerous about this?
205
00:08:53,183 --> 00:08:57,018
Well, the hawks' minds aren't good
at adjusting to human bodies.
206
00:08:57,053 --> 00:09:01,122
♪ On the wings of love
up and above the... ♪
207
00:09:02,325 --> 00:09:04,092
And it makes him think he can fly.
208
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,060
I am one loss away from being
209
00:09:06,096 --> 00:09:09,831
the losingest coach in all of
California state history.
210
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:13,167
And my kicker just got deported.
I need your leg.
211
00:09:13,203 --> 00:09:16,070
What? My leg?
No, I... I'm not an athlete.
212
00:09:16,106 --> 00:09:17,505
Have you seen me?
213
00:09:17,540 --> 00:09:20,274
I look like a walking bag
of wet sand, so...
214
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,744
You felt real cool today,
didn't you?
215
00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:25,279
Probably for the first time
in your life. Look...
216
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:27,866
I've got a jersey, size
boys medium, in this drawer
217
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:30,618
- with your name on it.
- Really?
218
00:09:32,388 --> 00:09:34,956
Wow! My son, an athlete.
219
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,358
This coach has seen your wet
sandbag of a body, right?
220
00:09:37,393 --> 00:09:38,893
Yeah.
Hey, so you guys are coming
221
00:09:38,928 --> 00:09:41,429
- to the game Friday, right?
- Of course we will.
222
00:09:41,464 --> 00:09:43,264
My son is playing in
his first-ever football game.
223
00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:45,066
You bet your ass
I'll probably be there.
224
00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:46,934
Hey, and good luck with, uh,
whatever you guys are doing.
225
00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:48,469
Finding your stepfather.
226
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:51,706
- Oh, yeah, right. Okay.
- Son of Zorn, get over here!
227
00:09:51,741 --> 00:09:53,775
McMurphey's about to
jump off your roof!
228
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:56,852
Hey, well, have fun with that.
Talk to you guys later.
229
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,714
- We really raised a great son.
- Hey, that was mostly you.
230
00:09:59,749 --> 00:10:01,749
I mean, I married you because
you had a smoking-hot ass.
231
00:10:01,785 --> 00:10:03,584
I didn't know you'd also have
smoking-hot parenting skills.
232
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,987
Well, you're not
so bad yourself, Zorn.
233
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:09,090
- Linda is a lucky girl to have you.
- Well, we're both lucky.
234
00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:10,458
I mean, Linda's beautiful and fun,
235
00:10:10,493 --> 00:10:12,460
and now she can sit
in the back of a car
236
00:10:12,495 --> 00:10:14,629
without making a sound for
what feels like an hour, right?
237
00:10:17,066 --> 00:10:18,299
She's not back there, is she?
238
00:10:18,334 --> 00:10:20,468
♪ Whiskey and Zorn. ♪
239
00:10:20,503 --> 00:10:23,471
- Just sign right there.
- All right.
240
00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:26,541
Congratulations, Craig,
you're a millionaire.
241
00:10:26,576 --> 00:10:28,976
That's what people are
gonna say in a few years
242
00:10:29,012 --> 00:10:31,345
- when your shares in the company have value.
- Mm.
243
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,981
- Today you owe me $10,000.
- Okay.
244
00:10:34,017 --> 00:10:37,084
- Ross Brothers Moonshine.
- No, no, no, no.
245
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,688
- I didn't agree to that.
- Okay, that's fair.
246
00:10:42,959 --> 00:10:45,660
Hey, look, I'm gonna get out
of here and go cash this check.
247
00:10:45,695 --> 00:10:50,198
- Okay.
- Same old Craig.
248
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,334
- Good old Craig.
- I didn't mean it in a good way.
249
00:10:53,369 --> 00:10:55,203
Have you not seen the pattern?
250
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,470
You left Edie
because you thought
251
00:10:56,506 --> 00:10:58,306
she'd be happier
with someone else.
252
00:10:58,341 --> 00:11:00,842
You're constantly funding
Robert's businesses,
253
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:03,244
even though they have
no hope of working out.
254
00:11:03,279 --> 00:11:05,613
Well, "no hope" is a little strong.
255
00:11:05,648 --> 00:11:08,816
Craig, you and I went to the
Dartmouth formal together,
256
00:11:08,852 --> 00:11:10,818
and when your brother
asked me to dance,
257
00:11:10,854 --> 00:11:14,889
you left without saying good-bye
and transferred to Chico State.
258
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,225
And look how well
that turned out.
259
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,193
I get that you like
making other people happy,
260
00:11:19,229 --> 00:11:22,429
but you can't sacrifice
your own happiness to do it.
261
00:11:23,132 --> 00:11:25,700
Hmm.
You know, you're right.
262
00:11:25,735 --> 00:11:29,570
I should've never given away
the woman that I love.
263
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:33,274
I have waited so long
to hear you say that.
264
00:11:33,309 --> 00:11:35,612
I'm coming, Edie!
265
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,980
Okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, wait.
I thought, um, maybe
266
00:11:39,015 --> 00:11:41,582
there was something
still between you and me.
267
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:46,220
I'm sorry. I am done
making other people happy.
268
00:11:46,256 --> 00:11:48,289
Okay.
269
00:11:49,826 --> 00:11:52,526
- So, kicker, huh?
- Mm.
270
00:11:52,562 --> 00:11:54,562
Thanks for pushing me
to show my legs.
271
00:11:54,597 --> 00:11:56,264
Oh! Oh, you're welcome.
272
00:11:56,699 --> 00:11:58,733
Son of Zorn!
273
00:11:58,768 --> 00:12:00,902
I promised you a jersey
with your name on it,
274
00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,871
I delivered a jersey
with your name on it.
275
00:12:03,907 --> 00:12:05,899
- Whoa!
- We're gonna go drink beers
276
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,642
and lock up some nerds
in the janitor's closet.
277
00:12:07,677 --> 00:12:09,076
- Yeah!
- Oh, yeah!
278
00:12:09,112 --> 00:12:10,411
Yeah, that sounds awesome!
279
00:12:11,681 --> 00:12:14,882
Alan, I-I thought we were
hanging out after school.
280
00:12:14,918 --> 00:12:16,417
Oh!
281
00:12:16,452 --> 00:12:18,252
Maybe we need to give
these two a second.
282
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,089
I'm sorry.
283
00:12:22,125 --> 00:12:25,326
No, I just did that
because I'm so lonely.
284
00:12:25,361 --> 00:12:27,461
That's on me.
285
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,398
- Just, please...
- Son of Zorn! Yeah!
286
00:12:30,433 --> 00:12:32,715
Dude's legs rule!
287
00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:35,169
Yeah. That's so cool...
288
00:12:35,204 --> 00:12:37,240
Layla. Whoa.
289
00:12:37,275 --> 00:12:38,806
Hey, aren't you happy
for me? What's the deal?
290
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,909
Alan, I thought we were going
to your mom's house to hang out.
291
00:12:41,945 --> 00:12:45,446
- Do you not want to hang out?
- I do. Okay? I really do.
292
00:12:45,481 --> 00:12:48,883
It's just, these are, like, the guys!
I finally have "guys."
293
00:12:48,918 --> 00:12:52,019
This is starting to
feel like the real me.
294
00:12:52,055 --> 00:12:54,755
Great. Well, if this
is the real you,
295
00:12:54,791 --> 00:12:57,692
- maybe I'm not into the real you.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wha...
296
00:12:57,727 --> 00:13:00,227
Layla. Oh, come on.
297
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:06,701
♪ Zorn is at the party... ♪
298
00:13:08,738 --> 00:13:11,272
Well, we're never gonna
make it to Sacramento tonight,
299
00:13:11,307 --> 00:13:13,474
so, uh... Well, this will
cheer you up, Linda.
300
00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:15,943
A night at a motel
with me and my ex-wife.
301
00:13:15,979 --> 00:13:18,479
It's too far and we're too tired.
302
00:13:18,514 --> 00:13:20,147
Oh, you know, I could've
scored us some crystal meth
303
00:13:20,183 --> 00:13:23,150
back at that truck stop
you left me at for three hours.
304
00:13:23,186 --> 00:13:24,885
Linda! We apologized, okay?
305
00:13:24,921 --> 00:13:27,660
And we bought you some Combos
and the Best of Toto
306
00:13:27,695 --> 00:13:29,991
- on cassette tape.
- Not good enough!
307
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:34,362
Oh, perfect.
Dibs on the bathtub.
308
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:37,213
Oh, come on, Linda.
What's the problem?
309
00:13:37,248 --> 00:13:40,568
Edie and I have shared a bed
with another human before.
310
00:13:40,603 --> 00:13:44,271
Actually, humans.
With an "S." Plural.
311
00:13:44,307 --> 00:13:46,574
O-Okay.
It was a pile of humans.
312
00:13:46,609 --> 00:13:48,209
15, 16 humans.
313
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,444
Completely lost track
of Edie at one point.
314
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:54,791
Oh, and full disclosure.
The beings... weren't all human.
315
00:13:54,826 --> 00:13:56,884
Well.
It's not like it sounds.
316
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,319
We were in a refugee camp.
317
00:13:58,354 --> 00:13:59,887
The orgies there
were real downers.
318
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,957
Uh, but you know what, Linda?
You should take the bed.
319
00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:05,726
You guys can even share it
together. I don't care.
320
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,361
What, and make you sleep
on the floor? Oh, come on.
321
00:14:07,397 --> 00:14:08,796
What is this,
our home in Zephyria?
322
00:14:08,831 --> 00:14:11,132
Yeah. I did have to
sleep on the floor.
323
00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:12,767
Hey. I'll tell you what.
I'll go get a roll-away,
324
00:14:12,802 --> 00:14:14,735
you two have the bed.
325
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:17,038
Okay, I want you
to be honest with me.
326
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:20,307
- Okay.
- Do you still have feelings for Zorn?
327
00:14:25,248 --> 00:14:29,550
I think that pause tells me
everything I need to know.
328
00:14:29,585 --> 00:14:32,586
Linda!
329
00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:39,560
So, I was on my way
330
00:14:39,595 --> 00:14:41,495
to go get a bed, when I
found this treasure trove.
331
00:14:41,531 --> 00:14:44,732
Look at that. Half a turkey club
and an open can of diet soda.
332
00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:47,258
Spoils go to the victor!
333
00:14:47,293 --> 00:14:50,414
No, that's dip spit.
That's what that is.
334
00:14:50,629 --> 00:14:52,508
Wait, she just left?
No, no, no, come on.
335
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,885
People don't just suddenly
get up and leave their partners.
336
00:14:54,955 --> 00:14:57,090
I mean, have you ever in your
life heard of that happening?
337
00:14:57,162 --> 00:14:59,210
- I have.
- I just don't get it.
338
00:14:59,245 --> 00:15:02,334
She thinks... I still
want to be with you.
339
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,749
Wait, hold on. What?
Why would she think that?
340
00:15:04,784 --> 00:15:06,684
Craig's letter put the idea
in my head, and then when Linda
341
00:15:06,719 --> 00:15:08,352
asked if we still had
feelings for each other,
342
00:15:08,547 --> 00:15:10,648
I don't know, I guess I just
hesitated a little too long.
343
00:15:10,683 --> 00:15:12,049
Well, yeah. No.
344
00:15:12,084 --> 00:15:13,751
Of course you hesitated,
because you can't handle
345
00:15:13,786 --> 00:15:15,819
that I've have moved on.
What it comes down to
346
00:15:15,855 --> 00:15:19,156
is that you just don't want
anyone else to have me.
347
00:15:19,191 --> 00:15:21,125
Have this, and these.
348
00:15:22,918 --> 00:15:25,719
I paused for a second!
That's it.
349
00:15:25,754 --> 00:15:27,654
Maybe the real
reason she's leaving you
350
00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:30,357
is because of
your insane narcissism.
351
00:15:30,392 --> 00:15:31,658
Narcissism?
Hey, you know what?
352
00:15:31,694 --> 00:15:33,393
I am taking the bed.
353
00:15:33,429 --> 00:15:36,196
And just so
it's crystal freaking clear,
354
00:15:36,231 --> 00:15:39,199
I'm willing to let you
have sex with me one time,
355
00:15:39,234 --> 00:15:41,001
because I'm sad about
Linda leaving me. Hey!
356
00:15:41,036 --> 00:15:43,136
Don't you walk out of here.
I'm pretty sure
357
00:15:43,172 --> 00:15:45,605
I'm right in this argument,
and that does not happen a lot!
358
00:15:45,641 --> 00:15:49,176
So you get back here
and apologize to me!
359
00:15:49,211 --> 00:15:50,977
All right, fine!
360
00:15:59,121 --> 00:16:01,088
♪ Just smile for me ♪
361
00:16:01,123 --> 00:16:04,858
♪ And let the day begin ♪
362
00:16:04,893 --> 00:16:07,928
♪ You are the sunshine ♪
363
00:16:07,963 --> 00:16:12,799
♪ That lights my heart within ♪
364
00:16:12,835 --> 00:16:19,005
♪ And I'm sure that you're
an angel in disguise ♪
365
00:16:19,041 --> 00:16:21,341
♪ Come take my hand ♪
366
00:16:21,377 --> 00:16:27,247
♪ And together we will rise ♪
367
00:16:27,282 --> 00:16:29,616
♪ On the wings of love ♪
368
00:16:29,651 --> 00:16:32,052
♪ Up and above the clouds ♪
369
00:16:32,087 --> 00:16:36,247
♪ The only way to fly... ♪
370
00:16:37,226 --> 00:16:39,559
Oh, oh. Edie!
Uh, hi.
371
00:16:39,595 --> 00:16:42,429
Look, I messed up,
and I'm sorry.
372
00:16:42,464 --> 00:16:45,065
The truth is,
I really like you with Linda.
373
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,300
Thanks, Edes.
Hey, how about a friendship hug?
374
00:16:47,336 --> 00:16:50,137
A small one. No hip contact.
375
00:16:50,906 --> 00:16:54,508
- Get away from my fiancé.
- Craig!
376
00:16:54,543 --> 00:16:56,843
What? No! Easy there.
It's not what it looks like.
377
00:16:56,879 --> 00:16:57,911
I'm so glad you're here.
378
00:16:57,946 --> 00:17:00,447
I don't care what you're glad about.
379
00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:02,883
Well, I do, but now I also care
what I'm glad about.
380
00:17:02,918 --> 00:17:04,384
Oh, man, it's good to see you.
381
00:17:04,420 --> 00:17:08,255
I tell you, you are
engaged to one crazy B.
382
00:17:08,290 --> 00:17:10,357
I mean, we had
some good times, yes,
383
00:17:10,392 --> 00:17:12,659
but you are doing me a huge
favor taking her off my hands.
384
00:17:12,694 --> 00:17:15,629
- Well, how did you find us?
- Our joint credit card.
385
00:17:15,664 --> 00:17:18,098
Oh, yeah, that would have been
a really good way to find you.
386
00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:19,199
But, you know,
this way let me
387
00:17:19,234 --> 00:17:21,001
use my Starwood points,
so we both win, huh?
388
00:17:21,036 --> 00:17:23,204
I don't care what
pleasures of the flesh
389
00:17:23,205 --> 00:17:25,372
has happened in this bawdy motel room.
390
00:17:25,407 --> 00:17:27,674
- Absolutely none.
- Eh, not "none."
391
00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:29,276
But it ends here.
392
00:17:29,311 --> 00:17:32,045
If Edie will have me back,
I want to be back.
393
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,713
Forever.
394
00:17:33,749 --> 00:17:35,515
And I don't care if it makes
anyone else unhappy.
395
00:17:35,551 --> 00:17:38,318
Craig!
I've waited years to hear you say
396
00:17:38,353 --> 00:17:41,588
something that selfish.
Oh, I'm so glad you're back.
397
00:17:41,623 --> 00:17:44,825
- Ooh, my Cwaigy!
- Oh, Edie!
398
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:47,928
You changed the "R" to a "W"
and it sounded like a kid said it.
399
00:17:47,963 --> 00:17:49,563
You know, now that
I think about it,
400
00:17:49,598 --> 00:17:51,498
I really should've just mind
swapped with Craig right away,
401
00:17:51,533 --> 00:17:54,100
and we would have known
exactly where to find him.
402
00:17:54,136 --> 00:17:56,136
That's such a handy trick
to have. I wonder why I don't
403
00:17:56,171 --> 00:17:57,838
use it more often, you know?
404
00:17:57,873 --> 00:18:01,572
Oh, that's right.
'Cause I start lactating blood.
405
00:18:03,675 --> 00:18:05,883
Hut! Hut!
406
00:18:07,368 --> 00:18:09,396
Hey, Linda!
We're over here!
407
00:18:09,432 --> 00:18:12,600
What? Linda came?
Uh, quick, guys,
408
00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:15,035
think of a good reason I can
whip out my two penises.
409
00:18:15,071 --> 00:18:16,537
That's usually
a top shelf icebreaker.
410
00:18:16,572 --> 00:18:18,339
Well, I invited her.
411
00:18:18,374 --> 00:18:20,908
I told her all the confusion
on the trip was my fault.
412
00:18:20,943 --> 00:18:22,910
Hey, Linda, uh,
I'm glad you could come.
413
00:18:22,945 --> 00:18:24,879
Edie told you
it was all her fault, right?
414
00:18:24,914 --> 00:18:27,314
She did, but I'm still
a little mad at you.
415
00:18:27,350 --> 00:18:29,083
I am so, so sorry Linda.
416
00:18:29,118 --> 00:18:31,886
That's not how I wanted
our first road trip to go.
417
00:18:31,921 --> 00:18:34,054
I wanted it to be
sweet and special,
418
00:18:34,090 --> 00:18:35,423
and to include sex in at least
419
00:18:35,424 --> 00:18:38,192
six different rest areas
and/or jetted tubs.
420
00:18:38,227 --> 00:18:42,263
I-I promise you that I won't
ever take you for granted again.
421
00:18:42,298 --> 00:18:45,099
And as a symbol of that promise,
well, here, I got you these.
422
00:18:45,134 --> 00:18:49,703
Oh, Zorn.
Oh, they're beautiful!
423
00:18:49,739 --> 00:18:50,971
Thank you.
424
00:18:51,007 --> 00:18:53,974
All right, I forgive you.
425
00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:55,409
Plus, my apartment's
being fumigated,
426
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:57,378
so I need a place
to stay tonight.
427
00:18:57,413 --> 00:18:59,146
Zorn, aren't those the cursed
428
00:18:59,182 --> 00:19:00,800
Crystals of Cuwathahara?
429
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:04,518
- Yes. But her parents are already dead.
- Oh.
430
00:19:04,554 --> 00:19:06,420
Oh! Come on, Whitaker!
431
00:19:06,455 --> 00:19:08,355
- Son of Zorn!
- Hey.
432
00:19:08,391 --> 00:19:10,357
- Come here!
- Oh!
433
00:19:10,393 --> 00:19:11,525
Hey, coach, what do you need?
434
00:19:11,561 --> 00:19:13,093
- What do I need?
- Yeah.
435
00:19:13,129 --> 00:19:14,728
Maybe a little validation
in my life,
436
00:19:14,764 --> 00:19:16,397
considering the Booster Club
didn't even tell anybody
437
00:19:16,432 --> 00:19:17,598
that we were having a game!
438
00:19:17,633 --> 00:19:20,034
But I'll take
a field goal and a win.
439
00:19:20,069 --> 00:19:22,369
- I can... You want me to kick the field goal?
- Yeah!
440
00:19:22,405 --> 00:19:23,504
- Right now?
- Right now!
441
00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:25,339
- Okay.
- Oh, I'm so proud of you!
442
00:19:25,374 --> 00:19:27,908
Here we go!
This is so exciting!
443
00:19:27,944 --> 00:19:30,110
Let's go, Alan!
That's our boy!
444
00:19:30,146 --> 00:19:31,512
Fire it up!
445
00:19:31,547 --> 00:19:33,614
Take control!
446
00:19:33,649 --> 00:19:35,516
Domination!
447
00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:39,344
Grind the bones of your enemies
to dust and ravage their elders!
448
00:19:40,189 --> 00:19:42,122
Break!
449
00:19:42,158 --> 00:19:44,124
Son of Zorn!
Son of Zorn!
450
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,194
Son of Zorn!
Come on, baby!
451
00:19:51,033 --> 00:19:51,999
Hut!
452
00:19:55,972 --> 00:19:58,372
- Ooh!
- Oh!
453
00:19:59,642 --> 00:20:01,041
Need a medic!
454
00:20:01,077 --> 00:20:02,409
Woo-hoo!
455
00:20:02,445 --> 00:20:04,712
Way to go, Son of Zorn!
456
00:20:04,747 --> 00:20:07,314
Oh, man, you totally
killed that kid!
457
00:20:07,350 --> 00:20:09,416
I heard so many bones break!
458
00:20:09,452 --> 00:20:11,418
Wha... I...
459
00:20:11,454 --> 00:20:14,051
I don't think I understand
the rules of this game.
460
00:20:14,724 --> 00:20:17,925
- Hey...
- Aw, look at my handsome little failure.
461
00:20:19,161 --> 00:20:24,164
I lost the game, lost my new
friends and Layla, so I'm the worst.
462
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,666
Hey, I don't know you that well,
463
00:20:25,701 --> 00:20:27,768
but I'm pretty sure
you're not the worst.
464
00:20:27,803 --> 00:20:29,803
But like I said, I don't
know you that well.
465
00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:32,807
Well, you know what? I do know
you, and I think you're great.
466
00:20:32,808 --> 00:20:33,974
And don't you forget that.
467
00:20:34,010 --> 00:20:35,876
No matter what I say
in civil court
468
00:20:35,912 --> 00:20:38,646
when that poor paralyzed boy's
family decides to sue us.
469
00:20:38,681 --> 00:20:40,848
Ugh, he will never
be the same, that kid.
470
00:20:40,883 --> 00:20:42,483
You know, I never seen
a live femur before.
471
00:20:42,518 --> 00:20:44,586
Don't worry, Alangulon.
The image of that boy's
472
00:20:44,587 --> 00:20:46,654
broken body will eventually
fade from your memory.
473
00:20:46,689 --> 00:20:49,690
Now, the sound
of that boy's body breaking?
474
00:20:49,725 --> 00:20:52,524
That's probably gonna haunt you
for the rest of your life.
475
00:20:54,531 --> 00:21:00,134
♪ Whiskey and Zorn,
whiskey and Zorn ♪
476
00:21:00,169 --> 00:21:03,437
♪ Sounding his horn ♪
477
00:21:03,472 --> 00:21:07,641
♪ Hope is reborn ♪
478
00:21:07,677 --> 00:21:10,311
♪ This amber defender ♪
479
00:21:10,346 --> 00:21:13,647
♪ Will cease my surrender ♪
480
00:21:13,683 --> 00:21:18,018
♪ With wheat rye
and sweet barleycorn ♪
481
00:21:18,054 --> 00:21:21,455
- # Whiskey and Zorn... #
- I know what you're thinking.
482
00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:25,278
How did this only make it to 38
on the Zephyrian Top 40, right?
483
00:21:26,062 --> 00:21:29,546
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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