All language subtitles for Rich Boy Rich Girl

(somber music)

(somber music)

(upbeat music)

¶ Ash and burn ¶

¶ Wouldn't you say that's
the only way we learn ¶

¶ We don't need nobody ¶

¶ We don't need nobody ¶

¶ We don't need nobody ¶

¶ We don't need nobody ¶

¶ When the red light and the
brake lights hit your face ¶

¶ And you take me on a joy
ride back to your place ¶

¶ We don't need nobody, no ¶

¶ We don't need nobody ¶

¶ Take me home tonight ¶

¶ Don't ¶

¶ Deny ¶

¶ It's not fair that I'm too
scared, I don't know why ¶

¶ They can't tell
us what to do ¶

¶ They don't even
know the truth ¶

(cell phone ringing)

¶ I can't help ¶

¶ Falling for you,
it's chemical ¶

¶ And I don't need to hear it ¶

¶ When the red light and the
brake lights hit your face ¶

¶ And you take me on a joy
ride back to your place ¶

¶ I don't need nobody ¶

¶ I don't need nobody ¶

- [Jessica] Every
day when you wake up,

before you even put
your feet on the ground,

you tell yourself it's
gonna be a great day.

¶ Take me home tonight ¶

- Gonna be a great day.

¶ Take me away to
a different place ¶

(phone ringing)

¶ I can't keep
myself off of you ¶

¶ Drag me down, drop
me off onto town ¶

¶ And I will follow you ¶

¶ When the red and the
brake lights hit your face ¶

¶ And you take me on a joy
ride back to your place ¶

¶ We don't need nobody ¶

¶ We don't need nobody ¶

- [Jessica] You can't greet
each day with negative energy

and expect positive
results, so start positive

and stay positive.

It's gonna be a great
day, say it, and mean it.

- Today's gonna be a great day.

(vomiting)

- [Jessica] It's been
clinically proven that exercise

increases energy and
libido, improves health

and enhances self-esteem.

Look good, feel good.

- Wow, so you asked
me to take you to work

and you're doing Jane Fonda.

No no no, not this, we're
gonna be late, let's go.

(sighs)

Really?

- What time is it?

Oh crap.

- What happened to pushups?

- [Jessica] No
excuses, no exceptions.

Stop being a spectator
and get into the game.

Want to attract
high-calibur mates?

You'll need low body
fat and high endurance,

both in and out of the bedroom.

Winners look good.

- Oh, sod off.

Taxi!

- [Jessica] Chapter two,
dressing for success.

If you want to attract
successful people

you need to dress the part.

Dress like you're as successful

as you one day hope to become.

Sloppy slouches never end
up as super models, do they?

- To differ, Jessica,
what about Jonah Hill

and Donald Trump?

- Wait a second, who
are you calling Jessica?

Don't tell me you're still
reading that girly crap.

- No, no, I'm just
thinking out loud.

- Oh god, what is that?

Oh, ew, ew, god.

- [Andy] It's Confidence.

- Confidence?

You need a lot of confidence
to wear that cat piss.

Where'd you get it,
at the dollar store?

- I can't do it this morning,
I can't take the knocking--

- You need to do a little
spring cleaning around here,

I mean seriously,
what the hell is that?

- No, what are you doing?

My grandma gives
me one every year!

- You don't wanna hurt
Grandma's feelings,

but you should shove
that into a drawer, fast.

- Thank you.

Look, are you taking
me, or am I Ubering?

Like what am I doing?

- Excuse me, I got lost in
your little piggy collection.

Let's go, let's go!

- Bangs this morning, oh.

- Sasha?

- [Sasha] Hmm?

- Can I raid your closet again?

- Again?

- Please.

- My Chanel is your Chanel.

Especially if you don't
throw Elvis out the window.

- Did he poop on
the futon again?

- In your suitcase,
but you know what,

it's only because he trusts you,

because he doesn't just
poop anywhere, do you?

No you don't.

Oh my baby.

- Oh, I really need
to get my own place.

- Why?

Devin's hardly around, and
I like having you here.

- So does Elvis, apparently.

- Now that you are broken
up, I want you to focus

on your goals, your
dreams, and achieve them.

- Right now all I
want to do is achieve

looking as good as you in
one your Chanel dresses.

- Hmm, good luck with that.

(laughs)

- [Jessica] Wanna marry up?

Don't dress down.

Wanna climb the corporate
ladder all the way to the top?

Then dress like
you're already there.

You are the master
of your own fate,

so be punctual, be
diligent, be efficient,

and you will accomplish
all of your goals.

- Hello Linda, how's the desk?

- [Linda] Hello Andy.

- You're late.

Again.

You know, it is
the 21st century,

there's some
exciting new products

called razors and
ironing boards.

You should give them a try.

- Good one, boss.

I mean, I sacrificed
underwear today, you know?

In an effort not to be late.

I'm going commando. (laughs)

- You're disgusting.

TMI.

- You're right,
it's clearly TMI.

- The toilet in the executive
wash room is clogged.

I'd like you to take care
of that after you clock in.

(laughs)

- Kev, buddy.

That's not in my
job description.

Can't maintenance do it?

- Oh, they can.

But you will.

Call it your penance for your
allergy to being punctual.

You see, one of
the perks of having

a high level job like
mine is it gives me

the right to be capricious.

I'm sorry, Andy.

That may be a big word for you.

You know what that means?

- It's 8:02 in
the morning, okay?

I'm not gonna let
you ruin my day.

You think that I'm gonna
capriciously clean that toilet?

- So sad.

Yes, I do.

And if you have a
problem with that,

why don't you take it up
with our boss Mr. Warren?

We all know the reason why he
feels he has to tolerate you.

So go ahead, and take
care of that dump, Andy.

Ooh, ooh.

Dumpty.

That will be your new nickname.

It's perfect 'cause it's
dumb and D, I squeeze it,

I wasn't finished with you.

Welcome to the Ravel.

- [Jessica] Not
everyone will like you.

Not everyone will
want you to succeed.

Life doesn't always
give you what you want,

but it does equip you with
what you need to learn.

(sighs)

- Okay.

(water gurgling)

(coughs)

(typing)

(splashes)

(flushing)

What!

- [Jessica] Wanna
take over the world?

You better own it first.

The world is yours.

Say it loud.

- The world is mine.

The world is mine.

The world is mine.

- Really, is it?

Could've fooled me.

- [Jessica] You're on your way.

You're on the path.

You're getting closer every day.

- Have to believe you
can get what you want.

The world is mine.

(sighs)

You sure you don't want
a copy of this book?

- Mm-hmm.

- I'm telling you, you
wanna work here forever?

This book will impact your life.

- Right now I'm hoping that a
margarita will impact my life.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

- Night mama.

- Night baby.

(giggles)

- In a rat race like
this, you have to be

the strongest and
the fastest rat

if you wanna get the
cheese that's waiting

on the other side
of that finish line.

And that is why we are all
here, to do the best we can,

to make the most of who
we are, to win the race

and to win the game.

Thank you.

(applauding)

Hello.

- Hi.

- [Jessica] Hi.

- Wow.

You're so much
prettier in person.

Well, that's a little
bit absurd, actually.

(laughing)

- Thank you, you
have great taste.

And I love your accent,
what's your name?

- Hayley, H-A-Y-L-E-Y.

- Mm-hmm.

- I'm actually thinking
about writing a book myself.

- Oh, awesome.

What about?

- Oh, I dunno, I dunno
what my story is yet.

- Why don't you get
out there and find out,

and when you have
a book signing,

I'll be front and center, deal?

- Deal, yes, can I shake--

- Yes.

Nice to meet you.

- Lovely to meet you, thank you.

- Good luck to you.
- Thanks.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Wow, you are
prettier in person.

- Ah, you can tell with
those shades on, huh?

- Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

(Jessica laughs)

- Oh, you have beautiful
eyes, you should use them.

And stitch up that shirt,
you're better than that.

- Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you.
- Thank you.

Want more and you'll get more.

Ask for more and
you'll receive more.

You wanna be rich, be rich.

You wanna be successful,
be successful.

You are made of
unrealized greatness.

Believe it.

- Can I ask you to fix my shirt?

Stupid...

(gasps)

(speaks foreign language)

- You're dreaming.

- I'm not, why,
why am I dreaming?

- Okay.

Rich.

- Yeah.

- Handsome.

Funny.

Under 35, with an IQ over 125?

I mean, that's like an anomaly.

That sounds like place in Italy.

- Oh it does, yeah. (laughs)

- I love the pizza in Anomaly.

(laughing)

That's not found in nature.

Okay, that's like a
nudist that you really

want to see naked.

- [Hayley] Wait.

- Any man like that is
going to stray or he's gay.

That rhymes.

- Oh, it does.

Well done.

- Exhibit A, Joey.

- Hey!.

What have we spoken about?

We do not say his
name aloud, do we?

- Sorry, please
don't get violent.

Exhibit A, he whose name
we do not say out loud.

- [Hayley] Thank you.

- He was cute.
- Yeah.

- He had a nice butt.
- he did have a nice butt.

He had a really nice butt.

- He was successful.
- Yeah.

- What did he do?

Sleep with a Hooters waitress.

- Okay, first off, Hooters
has lovely chicken wings.

Second of all, maybe he did
not mean to sleep with her.

- Sure, honey.

And listen, I
don't like cocaine,

I just like the way it smells.

- Look, I don't wanna settle.

- Everyone settles.

To varying degrees.

People, actual living,
breathing, human people,

will never live
up to the fantasy.

Never.

Like Taylor Swift,
never, ever, never.

Okay.

Thank you for doing
my nails, though.

They look pretty.

I wanna look really
good for when I drop off

Mia's financials, although
she's doing my head in.

She's driving me crazy.

- You need to slap that bitch.

- I do.

I do need to smack her.

Like a huge one.

- All five fingers.

- Mm.

- Thumb.

(laughing)

(light music)

- Oh!

- Watch where you're going.

- You serious?

Wow.

- Welcome to the
Ravel of New York.

- Hi.

I'm looking for my colleague?

- Okay.

Well, we have a bulletin over
there with today's posts,

do you have a meeting room?

- I don't know where.

- Do you know your
colleague's name?

- Cruella Deville.

- Are you British?

- You're a smart one.

- Let me guess, Kate or Diana.

- [Hayley] Pardon?

Oh, my name?

- [Andy] Yeah.

- No, why.

- You look like royalty,
or a beautiful princess.

(laughing)

- I'm Hayley.

- So Princess Hayley.

I'm Andy.

- Oh, I've gotta go.

- Wait, you're leaving?

I don't think I can face
the world without you.

- Oh, I think you
underestimate yourself.

- No, really, I'd
love to see you again.

- Well find me and
you never know.

- You're late.

What happened?

- I know, I'm so sorry, the
bloody traffic was awful,

I nearly broke my
heel, I tore my brief,

it's just a bad morning.

- Are you okay?

- Thank you for asking that.

If I'm honest, I'm
really missing my ex.

I stupidly went onto Instagram

and I saw him with
his new girlfriend,

and that was just really--

- Yeah, I don't actually care.

- Oh.

- I have no time now
to go over these.

- Oh, I'm so sorry--

- Make sure this never
happens again, you got it?

- I'm sorry, I did ask
them though to get--

- No, don't ask, you
demand what you need

and you make them
give it to you.

And by the way, you
represent my spa,

and I looked better
during my first labor

than you look right now.

Go fix your face.

- You should be nicer
as a mother now.

(groans)

- Sleeves rolled
up, still unshaven,

and what were you doing
flirting with a guest?

- I wasn't flirting with a,
and she wasn't even a guest,

she was looking for--

- Everyone who walks through
that door is a guest.

Listen here, Dumpty.

Did you enjoy cleaning
the toilets the other day?

(sighs)

'Cause I've got a lot more jobs

just like that waiting for you.

Do you got it?

- Got it.

- Good.

- Not gonna ruin my day.

(singing indistinctly)

Mr. Warren.

- Pretty laying with
Kevin's computer again, hmm?

(laughs)

- It's a beautiful
day out, isn't it?

- You know your father hired
me when I was 20 years old,

right when I got here
from Denmark, right?

- Yeah.

I've heard the
story a few times.

You had no shoes, you used
to put your used gum in a wad

and then take it out
when you wanna chew it.

I mean, such as, such as.

- Your father was
like a brother to me.

If it wasn't for him I
wouldn't have been able

to move up from the mail
room to be the eventual CEO

of the Imperial Hotel Group.

When he passed,
he made me promise

to look after the hotels
and look after you.

Only you and I know
of this promise.

- And I think you've done
pretty well on both of 'em.

- Wrong.

I've done tremendously
well at running this hotel.

We've turned a profit every
year I've been at the helm.

Went from having 21
hotels in 12 countries

to having 49 hotels
in 37 countries.

- It's amazing.

And Mr. Warren, I have an idea--

- But I've failed at you.

I see a lot of potential in you,

but you get in your own way.

You lack discipline, you
lack focus, motivation.

The list goes on.

- Look, that's not
entirely true--

- These are facts,
not open for debate.

- I'm bored.

I need more to do, I
need more responsibility,

and I'm very capable
of having it.

- I agree, so I'm gonna
try to motivate you.

- What exactly does that mean?

- I'm going away for
four weeks to Sri Lanka

with my wife on a yoga retreat.

She thinks I work too
hard, and so she's worried.

Ever since I had that
heartburn last year

she thought was a heart attack,

she hasn't been able to move on,

so we will go to a
spiritual retreat,

vegan, possibly
nudist, and I just hope

I still have the tree
hugging days in me.

- I'm there.

I would love to
go with you guys.

- I want you to be in charge
of this office while I'm gone.

You're a free spirit,
I'm a free spirit,

and I think you can handle it.

Plus I don't really trust Kevin.

- Wait, so you're asking
me to run this hotel.

(phone beeps)

- Would you send
Kevin in, please?

- Sir, I...

- Don't speak.

- Yes sir.

- While I'm gone, Mr. Palazzo
will be my personal bridge

between Sri Lanka and New York.

- Mr. Warren, Dumpty
is not qualified--

- That's Mr. Palazzo to you.

- Mr. Warren, Mr.
Palazzo is not qualified

to run a mile around
the high school track.

He's not qualified
to run a taco stand,

to run a fever, to
run amok, no offense.

- I am not interested in
your perspective in this,

Mr. Hartwell.

For the next month, Mr. Palazzo

will no longer be
working for you.

You two will work together.

- Mr. Warren.

- [Mr. Warren] Is
that understood?

- Mr. Warren, I cannot
stress what a bad idea--

- Is that understood?

- Yes sir.

- You will have access
to the corporate account,

which you will only use
for corporate affairs,

is that understood?

You will have access
to the company car,

which you will only use
for company matters,

is that understood?

- Yes.

- You will work
out of my office,

but you will not be making
any decisions, major or minor.

Is that understood?

- Yes.

- This is your
opportunity to show

I should take you
seriously, Andy.

Is that understood?

- Yes.

- Mr. Hartwell, Mr.
Palazzo, make it work.

Namaste to you both.

- Namaste.

- Mr. Warren.

Look, before you go.

I just wanna say thank you.

And I know if my
dad were here too,

he'd say thank you as well.

- You're welcome, Andy.

- I'm not gonna let you down.

- I am counting on that.

(light music)

- I'm so sorry, I--

- Don't be, it happens.

I'm sorry I have to do
this, it's just our policy.

You know, actually, we're
having a recession special.

One free drink for every
declined credit card.

- Thank you.

It's actually my reversary.

- I thought I've heard it
all, but what's a reversary?

- It should've been my
anniversary, but it's not,

because my ex decided
to go to Hooters,

get a plate of hot wings and
a slutty waitress on the side.

- I'm sorry, hon.

- I'm just gonna down this,
please don't judge me.

It's a British thing.

- Okay.

(gulping)

Here, just have one more.

- That would be great,
that would be great.

Sasha, I'm contemplating
bankruptcy.

Seriously, all my
cards are maxed out.

- Oh, well, let's see what Miss
Jessica Banadetto has to say

about filing chapter
11, shall we?

- Okay.

- Okay.

Let's see here.

Never date down, blah blah
blah, in any capacity,

if you do, he or she
will bring you down.

Down to their financial class,

down to their stage of
emotional development,

down to their lack
of confidence.

Wow, Jesus, what is her
next book gonna say,

men are like coffee
and chocolate

and they taste better rich?

I mean, what's the plan
here, you're gonna like find

some sugar daddy who has an
abundance of self-confidence

and amazing emotional
development?

- Yeah, why not?

- [Sasha] Oh, 'cause I
don't know, what about like,

chemistry and passion and love?

- Ugh, stop it.

- [Sasha] Oh,
sorry, Miss Shallow.

Yeah, I forgot, what
was the plan again?

Climbing social status,
seven figure bank account,

house in the Hamptons
and then, wait,

what's the other
thing I'm forgetting?

- Private jet.

- Oh, yes, the very, very
important private jet.

(sighs)

- I've always wanted
a private jet.

Is that too much to ask?

- Why don't you start
with something smaller,

like stop spending
and start thinking,

stop washing hair and
put that MBA to use.

Do a project that you
love, like write that book

you're always talking about.

And you wanna find
your own place,

and you want your
career to take off,

and despite what Rich
Boy, Rich Girl says,

you, my dear, want
to fall in love.

(laughs)

- Yeah.

- I cannot believe nobody ever
taught you how to tie a tie.

- I feel like Cinderfella.

Just--
- Relax, okay?

I'm not trying to bone you.

(laughs)

Whoa.

What the heck is that?

- That is--
- is that what I think it is?

Do you know how many times
I've applied for one of those?

Even I don't make
enough money for that.

- You're like a millionaire.

- Yeah, but apparently
not millionaire enough.

What the hell are
you doing with it?

- Company card, use it
for company expenses.

- That's very admirable of you.

Don't Andy it up.

What the hell is this?

I thought I was the only one
man enough to get a mani-pedi.

- Why are you always
just grabbing stuff?

- It's just what I do.

- It's something that my future
wife dropped at the hotel.

- Your future wife?

Really?

Have you even taken her out?

- Not yet.

- Uh-huh, so you're
stalking her.

- No, I'm wooing her.

- By stalking her.

- No, by politely courting her.

- How does one politely
court another exactly?

- Flowers.

(laughing)

- Flowers.

This isn't the
'80s, kid, come on.

These days we need a
little more than flowers.

Like a limousine or a
nice dinner, maybe a show.

- Really?

- Really.

- I can't.

- You can.

- I shouldn't.

- But you will.

(bell ringing)

(gasps)
(broom clatters)

- No no no no no no.

- Hayley.
- Shh, shh.

Not here.

- You're right
there, I can see you.

- [Hayley] No no, no I'm not.

Shh, he's looking for
me, he's looking for me.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Maybe you could help me
out, I'm looking for Hayley.

Is she here?

(typing)

- Excuse me.

- Oh, no, do your thing.

- Hayley's in her office.
- Okay.

(typing)

- You can take a seat,
she'll be with you shortly.

- Oh, okay.

Thank you.

- She loves you.

- What!

- Excuse me?

- Sorry, nothing.

You can just, you
can go have a seat.

This is stupid.

- I'm sorry, what was that?

- Nothing, I'm talking
on the phone, sorry.

- Oh.

(phone beeping)

- What the heck are you doing?

- I can't let him know
that I sweep hair.

Is he sitting now?

- No, he's breakdancing.

- [Hayley] What?

- Yes, he is sitting down.

- That was a mean thing to do.

I have a favor to ask
you, just a teeny tiny,

could you, what size
dress do you wear?

- Absolutely not.

- Take this off, take it off.

- No, I don't...

- Okay, so I can't do two,
can we move it to three?

- Mm-hmm.

Also, Mr. Johnson
wants to invest

in one of your new
business ventures.

- Oh, fine, but if
he wants a meeting,

you must tell him that
it's a minimum investment

of 100K to get me out to lunch.

I'm just not doing it anymore.

Do we have any messages?

- No, your highness.

- Delia, what are you wearing?

We have a dress code
here, please observe it.

- There's something a gentleman.

- [Hayley] Hi.

- Hi.

- You found me.

- Oh, I'm very resourceful.

- Delia, can you
grab me a latte?

- [Delia] Yeah.

- Please, thank you.

Remind me of your name again?

- Andy.

And these are for you.

- Oh, what are these?

- Flowers.

(laughing)

- Flowers?
- Yeah.

- [Hayley] I've heard of those.

- So, I hope you don't mind me

coming to see you
at work like this.

- No.

- What exactly do
you do around here?

- Just some consulting
here and there

at the other midtown affiliates,

you know, amongst other things.

You?

- Oh, (scoffs) I have a
job that's got way too many

titles and hyphens to fit
on a business card, so.

- Ah.

- Are you impressed?

(laughing)

- [Hayley] Maybe.

- [Jessica] When asking
someone out to dinner.

- So you feeling spontaneous?

- [Jessica] Confidence is key.

- Maybe.

- [Jessica] Dictate the
situation and don't hesitate.

- I want you to meet me.

6:00 for a gorgeous
sunset and you know,

never-ending laughter
and maybe some dinner.

- [Jessica] You are in control.

You are in demand.

- I'm not sure if I can do
that, let me just check my,

(bell rings)
mm, yeah, I can, good.

- Did you even check?

- Yeah, yeah, weird
that you didn't see it.

No, we're fine.

So good, see you
later, see you later.

You are late, someone
needs their hair washing.

Bye!

- What the hell is going on?

- I think the coffee is ready.

- Okay, go ahead.

- So, what does he do?

- I think he's some
sort of hotel executive.

- Oh, well that sounds
too good to be true.

- Oh, so are his eyes.

When you see them,
oh, just want to--

- Easy, tigress.

- Sorry.

(chuckles)

There may also be like one
tiny, tiny other problem.

He might have a slightly
skewed perception

of what I actually
do for a living.

- You have got to own it.

Own your status.

- No, I know, but Jessica
says to get success

you have to exude success.

(groans)

You hate the book, don't you?

(sighs)

- We're not gonna talk
about that, are we?

No we're not, we're not
gonna talk about that at all,

because we don't care if
Jessica says that (babbling).

- That's looking pretty good.

- Yeah.

- Maybe just a little bit
mess on the top right there.

- Can you--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that.

That's perfect.

Okay, so where were we?

She's beautiful,
she's successful.

(groans)

- She's incredible.

And her accent, so adorable.

She says tomorrow
instead of tomorrow,

and she's cute and
she's got beautiful--

- Yeah, I think we covered
the beautiful thing.

Listen, this is
starting to sound

a little too good to be true,
so cool your jets there, okay?

(spraying)
(coughs)

There's a little
Confidence for ya.

(light music)

- Use good wine terminology
to handle conversations.

Oaky, creamy, and buttery
shows that you know your wines.

- It's hard.
(Hayley giggles)

Love it.

It's round.

Velvety textured.

- [Waiter] Courtesy of the chef.

Enjoy.
- Ah, thank you.

Wow, look at that.

- Ooh!

I don't think you eat those.

- Yeah, they're edible.

- No, I don't think they are.

- Wow, look at that bar.

(spits)

- You know, I'm really
happy that you found me

as fast as you did.

- Yeah.

I can be tenacious.

- Hmm.

I do have one thing, though.

It's kind of a
little rule of mine.

I don't like to mix work
with my personal life.

I like to keep work as
work and my personal life

as my personal life.

- Yeah, I know,
I'm the same way.

- [Hayley] Oh really?

- Yeah, I mean, running
a hotel is tough.

- [Hayley] Yeah, I bet.

- So let's do that,
let's make a deal.

No shop talk while
we're together.

- That is quite a
commitment after knowing me

for hardly any time at all.

- Yeah, well.

Like I said, I can be--

- Tenacious.

Yeah, I got it.

(Andy chuckles)

- Have I told you
how pretty you look?

I mean, If I say
your body's amazing,

would you hold it against me?

(laughing)

That's good--
- That was smooth.

- Snuck it right in there.

- Did you research that?

Did you google it?

- I did.

Yeah, I went cube,
functional, pickup--

- That's what you typed in?

- Yeah.

- Can I tell you what
I'm thinking about?

A little bit closer than that.

The maitre d' is
really freaking me out.

- Shoo shoo.

(laughing)

¶ It's not hard to fall ¶

¶ It's too easy to break ¶

¶ So I'll keep on pretending ¶

¶ That you're not
perfect for me ¶

¶ As long as it takes ¶

¶ It's not all my fault ¶

¶ I know you feel the same ¶

¶ But we can't be
the just friends ¶

¶ We've just been trying to be ¶

¶ I know it's too late ¶

- Thanks.

¶ But I'm just
trying not to fall ¶

¶ In love with you ¶

I would invite you up, but...

- But?

- I gave up being
a slut for Lent.

(laughing)

- Ah, so.

You're not a slut
and you honor Lent?

- Yeah.

- I think you're a
waste of my time.

Have a good night.

(laughing)

- No, you know I
would, I just have

an early meeting tomorrow.

- It's fine.

No, me too, I gotta
go straight back

to the office to
handle a few things.

- So, until next time?

- Yes.

Till the next time.

¶ Back in each other's arms ¶

- Good night.

- Good night, Princess.

¶ I hold you, you
hold me, we hold on ¶

¶ And let go of the walls ¶

- Good night, flower eater.

¶ We built around our hearts ¶

¶ Broken fences mend ¶

¶ Second chances start ¶

¶ A new life ¶

- [Andy] Huh?

- You see, that's what I'm
talking about, that looks sharp.

- [Andy] Yeah.

I don't know how I'm
gonna explain the charges

as a hotel expense, but--

- Are you kidding me?

These are clothes for meetings.

And as Mr. Warren's
personal liaison,

it is important for
you to look good.

- [Andy] You're right.

- I mean, you like
this girl, don't ya?

- Yeah.

She's incredible.

Oh, and I have an amazing
idea for the second date,

by the way.

- Excellent.

(exhales)

- I'm like a
high-class criminal.

(laughing)

Not exactly the look
I was going for,

but hell, I will take it.

Oh, I set up the meeting
at the bank to air my idea.

- Get out of here.

Come on, come on, give me a hug.

- All right, all right.

(light music)

- [Andy] You're outta your mind.

- No, Keith Rune is
better than John Bonham.

- John Bonham was incredible,
are you kidding me?

When you see him live,
you just feel it.

- This is so beautiful.

Thank you for
bringing me out here.

- I have a surprise for you.

- I've already had a
surprise, the yacht.

- Close your eyes.

(Hayley giggles)

Close them.

- Okay.

Can I open them?

(acoustic guitar music)

¶ Simple but it's complicated ¶

¶ Conversation underrated ¶

¶ I could be your open
book when you close ¶

¶ Tell me is it too impulsive ¶

¶ Asking you to
stay till morning ¶

¶ It's a familiar
feeling we all know ¶

¶ Now let's roll on out ¶

¶ And stay up talking
shit all night ¶

¶ And climb the roof ¶

¶ And watch the world
be set on fire ¶

¶ Break the rules ¶

¶ And look for things
we shouldn't find ¶

¶ Inside ¶

¶ 'Cause lately ¶

¶ I been going crazy ¶

¶ I think this
might've saved me ¶

¶ Exactly what I needed ¶
(laughing)

¶ I need it tonight, night ¶

¶ Tonight, night ¶

¶ I need tonight, night ¶

¶ Exactly what I needed ¶

¶ I need it tonight ¶

I didn't know you could do that.

(gulls cawing)

That was amazing.

- Aww.

I wrote it for you.

- Did you really?

(laughing)

Thank you.

(light music)

(sighs)

- I'm not using him.

- No.

Not for the nine course
meals, the limo, yacht.

(laughs)

- All right, well when
you put it like that,

you have a fair point, but
Sash, I really like him.

- You do, don't you?

(laughing)

- That's why I can't
tell him the truth, yet.

I can't tell him the truth yet.

- Well, it's not real until
you do, you know that, right?

- Oh my god, what happened
to the Hayley I know, huh?

The one who's a force of nature,

who's tough and
strong and confident.

Student body president
and never earned

less than a B in her life, huh?

Where'd she go?

'Cause the Hayley I know would
never lie about who she is.

About her status or how hard
she works for her dreams.

Baby girl, you have got
too much going on inside.

You're better than this.

- I just don't know anymore.

- Oh my god, so you got a
little banged up and bruised,

we all do.

(panting)

- Yeah.

I haven't gotten laid in months.

- Well there is that.

- I'm gonna keep going.

- Yeah, I'm not.

- Okay.

- Okay.
- Fair enough.

- Yeah, good luck with that.

- [Hayley] Thanks.

(groaning)

(phone ringing)

- So, that's basically it.

All I need is the
startup capital.

- To cover what exactly?

- Well, I need an
architect, for one.

- But you don't have the
money to build the hotel.

- Well no.
(laughs)

I mean I need to
build the model first.

- And you would
use the model to?

- Show the investors what
the hotel might look like,

you know, so they'll
invest in the build.

- A bigger model?

- Exactly, you know?

And I need money
for market analysis,

and to put the prospectus
together, and I mean--

- Couldn't you sorta
do all this yourself?

- No, well, I mean, maybe
if I had a computer.

- A computer.

- You know, and then in theory,

I can do some of those things.

Actually, heck, I could
do all of those things.

This is true.

- Honestly.

Who doesn't have a computer?

Your main problem,
Mr. Palazzo, is--

- Oh, oh, you can call me Andy.

I mean, we're past
that point, right?

I can call you Tom.

- No.

Your main problem, Andy, is
that you don't have assets.

Liability and collateral,
and it would be impossible

for us to give you a loan.

Find someone to bankroll
your startup capital

and get you going.

Thanks for coming in.

- When you say impossible, mm?

- Impossible.

Thanks for coming in.

- [Andy] Great, thank you.

I'm gonna go ahead
and take a pen.

- Look, the answer is no, okay?

- Why not?

- Because I don't invest
in friends' businesses.

I mean, eventually the
friendship will suffer.

The business will fail.

- My business is not gonna fail.

- Why don't you ask Mr. Warner?

- It's Mr. Warren, and
no, he's already done

way too much for me already.

- You got nothing to lose.

Besides, he might like it,
I mean it's a good idea.

Just all about the presentation.

I tell you what I will do.

I've got the
complete Adobe suite.

Photoshop, Illustrator,
everything you need

to make a kickass presentation.

I'll help you with that,
you can use my computer.

- Computer, I want you
to invest in the company,

I want your money.

- It's not gonna happen, okay?

You can have my
computer or nothing.

Oh, how's Holly doing?

- It's Hayley.

She's good.

- You guys done the Macarena?

- [Andy] No.

- Really?

That must be some
kinda record for you.

(laughs)

- No, it's just, it's
different with this one, man.

And it's a mutual thing,
just there's no rush.

- You must really
like this girl.

- Yeah.

Really, it's killing me.

I'm dying. (laughs)

- Hey, you got
plans for Saturday?

- No.

- I got a couple tickets for
the opera, you can have them.

- [Andy] The opera?

- Yeah, the opera.

Trust me, one night at the
Met and you'll get laid.

- The opera.

- What?

All right, forget it.

- No, I'll take it.

- I'm gonna give 'em to
someone else, forget it.

- I trust you, I
just, the opera?

That's what's gonna turn her on?

- That will close the deal.

- Yes, I'm heading to
the caterer right now.

I'm taking the corporate limo!

But nothing, I will
talk to you later.

(light music)

Dumpty.

Dumpty!

Janine!

Janine!

(light music)

- [Jessica] The opera
is a cultural benchmark.

A sophisticated
and elegant affair,

and although it can be
emotionally overwhelming,

unlike a wide receiver
in the end zone,

try and pretend like
you've been there before.

(classical music)

(camera clicking)

(singing in foreign language)

(camera clicks)

- You wanna see it?

It's kinda cute.

- It's cute.

(laughs)

(speaking foreign language)

- Well, listen.

$40 million, that's
a lot of renmimbes,

so let's just not screw this up.

(laughing)

(speaking foreign language)

Okay.

All right.

Okay, sorry.

Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi.

You must be Andy.

- Hi, yeah.

How are you?

- Hi.

- I know we just met, and
it's not my place to criticize,

but your Cantonese is bad.

- Mm, well then it
was a good thing

I was speaking
Mandarin, isn't it?

(laughing)

(mumbling)

(laughing)

- So, how was the opera
for the first time?

This season.
- Great.

- The first season.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

It was fun, brilliant,
if anything.

Not as good as the
Zepheretti we saw last year.

- The Zepheretti, right.

- Yeah, I love
Zepheretti, he's amazing.

- Really?
- You too.

Yeah, especially
La Bohama, right?

- La Bohama is just--
- It's stunning.

Absolutely.
- Maybe.

- Yeah.

- So, we didn't
mean to disturb you,

but you had a business
call, what do you do?

- Oh, a hedge fund manager.

- Oh, so you handle like,
investments with you know,

with other people's money
in different fields.

- Yes.

Yes, I do.

Primarily high
risk VCs, you know,

thinking outside
the box type stuff,

a lot of it very cutting edge.

It's not safe, so that
is what makes it fun.

- [Andy] I've heard.

- She's important.

- Yeah.

(clears throat)

- And you, Andy, what
exactly do you do?

- Oh, I'm hotel business,
it's, I don't, it's a lot.

I mean, maybe if we,
you know, talk later

I can give you more details.

But it's just, yeah,
hotel business.

- Okay, well I'm bushed,
so we'll talk later

about that hotel business,
and you guys just

enjoy yourselves, 'cause I'm
gonna sleep in your bedroom,

if that's okay.

- That's fine,
anything that you need

is more than okay with me.

I just want you to
get back on your feet.

- Yes, okay, got it,
yes, uh-huh, thank you.

And yeah, you kids
need anything,

just help yourselves.

- Did she just say
that we could have

whatever we want in your house?

- Did she?

No.

Really?

(laughs)

Her sense of humor's
really really strange,

but I find it funny.

Okay.

(sighs)

- I gotta come clean.

- Okay.

(sighs)

- I've never been to the opera.

(laughing)

- Oh my god.

That's not what I thought
you were gonna say.

- [Andy] Whew, okay.

- Okay, but I actually
do have something serious

to tell you, though.

I feel like I've
been a little bit

misleading about something.

I don't know who Zepheretti is

and I've never heard of him...

What?

- No, I just told you that, no.

- Is the La Bohama thing, shh,
is La Bohama a real thing?

- I don't know.

- I thought you
knew what that was.

- It probably is.

Where's your bathroom?

(laughing)

- It's down there, to the right.

Okay.

Yeah, good.

(light music)

(sighs)

- I like this girl.

(sighs)

I really like this girl.

Don't let me down.

Sorry.

- Hey.

I was gonna go get us a drink.

(R&B music)

¶ Having shots, saying
is that deep enough ¶

- I don't care.

(laughs)

¶ Seven minutes more
gonna be seven too much ¶

¶ Dirty minds think alike,
you ain't gotta say nothing ¶

¶ We made it to the floor,
now we can't get up ¶

¶ Just move with me,
get loose with me ¶

¶ Show me what you're gonna do ¶

¶ Come through it,
pass through it ¶

¶ You some got facts,
I got 'em too ¶

¶ You got me like
oh, oh, oh, oh ¶

(moans)

(yawns)

- Good morning.

- Sorry, did I wake you?

- No.

- How come Sasha's
in all these photos

and you're in none of 'em?

- Oh, that's just,
it's a weird thing,

I just don't like posing
for photos, like at all.

So she just stands in for me.

- [Andy] So these
are your parents?

- [Hayley] Yep, yeah.

- You don't look
anything like them.

(laughing)

- That's just, I
think I look like

my grandfather George,
god rest his soul.

- So this must be your husband.

- No, no.

That's Devon.

He's away on business,
so, but you'll meet him.

- Oh.

So that means you're planning on

keeping me around for a while?

- I don't know, maybe.

Yeah.

(phone ringing)

- It's a call from the
company, I gotta take this.

- [Hayley] Okay.

- [Andy] I'll be right back.

(exhales)

- Mr. Warren.

How are you sir?

- Are you in a bathroom?

- Look, I'm at the gym.

On the way to work.

- I don't really care
where you are, I'm worried.

I've been doing the
downward dog all morning,

and all I can think about is you

and why I haven't heard
from you in two days.

Anything I should know about?

- No.

No, sir, everything
is, it feels great.

(sighs)

- Have you heard from Roman
about the acquisitions?

- No, sir.

But I've reached
out multiple times.

(moaning)

- Well light some fire
under their asses,

get this thing--
(loud moaning)

- Sir...

- Is everything okay?

(Andy sighs)

- Yeah.

Everything's good.

I just had a few wrinkles
on a hotel acquisition.

- Oh, acquire a hotel?

- I have this idea.
- Mm-hmm.

- Where I wanna create hotels
that are more like apartments.

Instead of hotel rooms
where the interior

the decor is casual,
instead of room service

you're having a
fridge in your place

with beer and hot
pockets. (laughs)

Stuff like that.

And the staff, they're
all your friends

and they're dressed
in street clothes

instead of bell hop uniforms,
and it's just a cool,

casual place that
feels like home,

but it just happens
to be a hotel.

Yeah, I'm gonna
call it Crash Pad.

It's a bad idea.

- No.

Actually reminds me a
little bit of something

that I'm working on.

- [Andy] Really?

- I want to open up a
full service bar salon

that's more social.

- When you say full service.

(laughing)

- Shut up!

Seriously, like, when you
go to get your hair done

or whatever at a salon,
everyone's chatting,

they're gossiping,
it's like communal,

but when you go to a spa, it's,

like to get a body
scrub or a massage,

you're just so isolated.

So I wanna combine them both.

I wanna have like
a bar and a buffet,

and just make it like a more
social experience, I guess.

Kind of like Cheers
but for women.

- So what are you gonna call it?

- Community Zen.

- Ah.

- Oh no, do you think I'm crazy?

- No.

I think you're zensational.

(laughing)

You see what I did there?

- Yeah.

Yeah, that's very clever.

(sighs)

I'm afraid of you.

- Good.

'Cause if you're
falling for me half

as hard as I'm falling for
you, then we're in big trouble.

(gentle music)

I wanna stay, trust
me, I wanna stay.

- Okay.

Go acquire a hotel.

(laughs)

- Do you have any
plans tomorrow?

- Did you have
something in mind?

- Maybe.

I wanna take you somewhere.

And it requires skill.

- Okay.

- [Andy] We'll see
if you're up to par.

- Oh.

(giggles)

- Oh, good morning, Princess.

(laughing)

Details, details,
details, 'cause like,

Grandpa George, really?

- What was I supposed to do?

I'm not in any of the photos.

- And whose fault is that?

- Well we did not
think that through.

I did not think that through.

(laughing)

- So did we give the
American a good wank?

- [Hayley] Stop.

- Did we?

Come on, spill it.

- It was great.

It was amazing, it was amazing.

We were amazing, I
mean, the whole thing

was just really amazing.

In like a lot of ways.

- Was it amazing?

- [Hayley] It was amazing.

- Yeah, I'm getting that.

- Yeah, you know last
night with the opera talk?

Yeah, it was his first
time at the opera.

- Oh, really?
(laughing)

La Bohama my ass.

You're smitten.

- I am.

- Mm, that initial little
pitter patter of feelings

that if we could just
bottle up and sell,

we would be millionaires.

(laughing)

- Oh, I'm pathetic
though, aren't?

- No, not exactly pathetic.

You're at the intersection
of pathetic and cute.

(laughing)

And I'm happy for
you, but you do know

that he thinks he's
dating the owner and boss

of a series of spas.

- I know.

What am I gonna do?

- You gotta tell him.

- I can't!

- You gotta just spit it out.

Every pun intended.

(laughing)

- Oh my god.

- Oh, you ridiculous
petulant little child.

God, whatever.

It's your life.

I'm gonna make us some tea.

- Okay.

- And you're gonna
wash the sheets.

- Oh.

- [Sasha] No, seriously,
wash the sheets.

- I'll wash the sheets.

- [Sasha] Yeah.

(light music)

- Here it comes, you ready?

Okay, you gotta keep
your eye on the ball,

that's all I know
what to tell ya.

- Okay.

- Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't you guys
come and hang with us

at the beach house this weekend?

- Really?

- Yes.

Check in with Hayley, see
if she's down with it.

- Yeah, but what about Ava?

I mean, does she
know what's going on?

'Cause if we go, then I mean,
you both are gonna have to--

- Lie about your
professional life?

Look, I don't think
she's gonna do that,

but I'll make sure she
keeps her mouth shut.

- Okay.

Thanks, man.
- Yeah.

Oh.

You're not so great at this.

- [Andy] Maybe one more.

- Yeah, let's go do a
little putt putt golf.

Come on, Babe Ruth.

- I hate you.

(birds chirping)

(laughing)

- Real skill, huh?

- Hell yes.

(giggles)

- [Clerk] Hi, two for mini golf?

- Yes, please.

(camera clicks)

Learn to golf, and to golf well.

- Wait, did you just quote--

- Huh?

- Nevermind.

- Here's your score card.

- [Hayley] Thank you.

- You guys are so cute.

- Aww, appreciate that.

- You're cute.

- You're cute.
(laughs)

- Yes, Mr. Dumpty.

(camera clicking)
(laughing)

- Okay.

So, you can take it.

- Okay.

- So what you're gonna do

is you are going
to move your arms.

- Uh-huh.

- And your shoulders.

- Right.

- Together, like
a pendulum, okay?

- Okay.

- Gorgeous velvet pendulum.

- Okay, okay.

- Okay, you got it.

- Just watch and learn.

- Okay.

- Yeah, I learnt
how to play golf

before you discovered
pocket pool.

Just be grateful we're
not on a real golf course

'cause I mean really
embarrass you.

- Noted.

- Yeah, you'll be fine.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

(camera clicking)

- Here you go.

- Thank you.

There's no way this is right.

- Well, with the nine
mulligans I gave you

and the penalty strikes
that I did not add,

because you thought that
getting your ball lost

in the windmill
was penalty enough.

All of that is correct.

- Okay.

That it is.

- Traumatized?

- No.

Yes.

(laughing)

I just don't think I've
ever been so thoroughly

emasculated in my entire life.

- I'm sorry.

- You're not sorry.

- No.

- Mm-mm.
- Mm-mm.

- What are you doing tomorrow?

- Nothing I can't move around.

Why?

- 'Cause maybe I wanna see you.

- Yeah?

- Take you somewhere.

- Where?

- Definitely not mini golf.

(laughing)

- Yeah, we won't do
mini golf anymore.

- Never again.

- No, it didn't
make you look good.

- No.

It's messed up.

- Yeah.

(knocking)

- [Peter] Yeah.

- Peter.

How we doing?

- Fine, what do you have?

- This just came up from legal,

they said everything
is copacetic,

but Mr. Warren would
feel better if--

- Yeah, yeah.

I'll take a look, thank you.

Anything else?

(laughs)

- I wanna talk to
you about an idea

that I've been working on.

- An idea?

- It's a new hotel chain.

- Do you know how
much effort it takes

to make a proposal
for a new hotel chain?

To even build one?

- I do.

But this is great.

- Look, everyone knows Mr.
Warren sees something in you

that no one else sees.

But that'll take you so far.

It you got in this conversation.

But all due diligence,
you gotta start hustling,

or this is how far
you're gonna get.

(sighs)

Goodbye Andy.

- Mia?

- What?

- I was just wondering if you
could give me some advice?

- On?

- I have this idea about
starting up a spa, like yours.

- Well this should be
interesting, go on.

- No, not, I mean, vastly
different to yours,

like considerably
different to yours,

but I was just, how did
you start this place up?

Like did you get an
LLC, where did you get

the startup funds for it?

- You do realize you're
asking your current boss

how to start a
business that will

directly compete with hers?

- Oh no no.

Oh no, it's just a
hypothetical, it's not--

- Should I start looking
for your replacement?

- No.

No, definitely not.

'Cause I'm asking for the
future, like a galaxy far away.

Not now is what I'm saying,
like not now at all.

So, I really
appreciate the advice.

Have a lovely weekend.

Just not now, is, yeah.

(laughing)

- I hope you guys are ready
for an amazing weekend

at the beach.

Andy, thanks for the limo.

- No no, it's the
least that we can do.

- Honey, did I tell you?

Andy's company's picking
up the limo ride for us.

- Isn't that a personal
expense, though?

Are your shareholders
okay with that?

- How many shareholders
is it that you have?

I forget.

- Honey, we don't wanna
talk about this boring stuff

when there's a lot of expensive
champagne to be drinking.

- No champagne, no
champagne, no shop talk,

let's just sit back
and enjoy the ride.

- Okay, okay.

(light music)

- Come on in, make
yourselves at home.

- Wow, this is your house?

- [Blake] No, technically
it's our house.

- (Woman speaking foreign
language)

Something what do
you guys wanna do?

- I wanna get some sun.

- Oh yeah, you could
us a little sun

on that pasty white
butt of yours.

(laughing)

- [Hayley] Wow, that
pool is amazing.

- Listen, why don't you guys
just chill out a little bit

and we'll go and have
some dinner, okay?

- And I have an idea for
tomorrow, so let's talk.

(light music)

- This guy, right?

(laughs)

- What?

- What, what?

What, you know what.

- You're smitten over her.

Not that I blame
you, she's adorable.

- You're falling for this girl.

- Fallen, this is past tense.

- Really?

- Yeah, that was fast.

- I know, I'm sold.

- Good for you.

- Somebody's a little P-whipped.

Right, Mr. P. Whipped over here.

(Andy laughs)

We got Mr. P. Whip--

- It's the accent,
it's priceless.

- No, it's just, she's
everything I wanna be.

- What, like a fraud and a liar?

- Wow.

- Come on, I'm just
saying, when you gonna

tell her the truth?

- I don't know.

I mean, maybe when I feel
like I'm not gonna lose her

when she finds out.

- You'll never know until
you tell her the truth.

You're not the first guy
to do something stupid

because you wanna
impress a girl.

- What are you talking about?

(laughing)

Was she looking at me?

Huh?

(groans)

- Jeez.

(birds chirping)

Andy, what is going on?

I have left you
over 20 messages.

Call me immediately.

(sighs)

(upbeat music)

¶ Deep down in the jungle ¶

¶ Where the wild
grass grows high ¶

¶ Where life is a miracle ¶

¶ And they never
really ask why ¶

¶ Can I get a ride down there ¶

¶ Need a bit of action, I know ¶

¶ Take me to the danger ¶

¶ Show me how the party goes ¶

¶ Oh ¶

¶ You have come too
far away from home ¶

- I cannot believe
me talked him into

taking dance lessons right now.

- You've had a few drinks,
we're gonna have a good time.

- Thank god we've had drinks.

(laughing)

- You're okay with this?

- Are you kidding?

This is awesome.

Come on, let's go.

Let's go.

Come on!

¶ Shake it up into the night ¶

¶ Shake it up into the night ¶

¶ Time to dance my life away ¶

¶ Shake it up into the night ¶

¶ Remember the days I
prayed for what I have now ¶

¶ Ivy league law friends,
dreams and cocktails ¶

¶ Sharing the mussels, the
good times and the best times ¶

¶ What's in us is stronger than
what's there to defeat us ¶

¶ And oh-ey-oh ¶

¶ We only get one chance
at this single life ¶

¶ Oh-ey-oh ¶

¶ Chase out there your
dreams till you feel alive ¶

(sighs)

- Hey.

- Hmm?

- We're home.

Hey.

We're gonna step out,
guys, this is us.

- Okay.

- I had a great time,
had a great time.

Have fun.

- Thanks for everything, buddy.

- Thank you again.

- [Ava] Good night.

- Good night.

(yawns)

(engine starts)

(light music)

- I don't want this
weekend to end.

- Yeah.

It doesn't have to.

- Really?

- Have you ever had
a Neapolitan orgasm?

- It's always been
on my to do list.

(laughing)

- Well, some would
call it Italian food.

- Yeah, I'd like to do that.

- Gary.

Take us Patsy's.

(acoustic guitar music)

¶ I miss you ¶

¶ More and more ¶

(clapping)

- Wow.

Italian orgasm of
the soul indeed.

- Oh, but it's
not Italian, it's,

Tony, will you remind
her what this is?

- It's Neapolitan.

Chef Boyardee in a
can is Italian food.

Sal isn't with us this evening.

However, I would like
to present to you both

a copy of his latest book.

May our recipes become
your family dinners.

- So nice of you, thank you.

(speaks foreign language)

(laughing)

- Get it?

I crack myself up.

- It's our first
communal property.

(laughs)

Come here.

Thank you.

For dinner, and
for this weekend.

Okay, I'm gonna go use the
lady's, I'll be right back.

- Tony, can I get
the check, please?

Here you go, my friend.
- Ah.

(suspenseful music)

- I am sorry, but...

- I'm assuming this
meal has nothing to do

with official hotel business.

Am I wrong in that assumption?

- What are you doing here?

- Just making sure
Mr. Warren knows

that you are not to be trusted.

Oh, you would never use the
company credit card, would you?

- Oh.

I'm so sorry, that
was a mistake.

I'm gonna go ahead and
leave cash, thanks.

- Give my regards
to your girlfriend.

And I hope you
brought enough cash.

(chuckles)

I can't wait for Mr.
Warren to come home.

Limos, yachts,
expensive dinners?

Dumpty Dumpty.

The point is, you're
in a lot of trouble!

- Hey.

- [Andy] Hey.

- You okay?

- Yeah, everything's--

- Are we good, are we set?

- Yeah, I just, why don't
you meet me in the limo?

And yeah, I wanna
do one more thing.

- Okay.

Don't forget that.

- I'm not going to.

(laughs)

(light music)

- Hi.

- Oh, hi.

- Gary, take us home.

(sighs)

- Thank you for dinner.

- You're welcome.

I'm sorry, come here.

Kevin.

Good morning.

We should talk.

- Not a good day
for you, Dumpty.

I just got off a Skype
call with Mr. Warren.

And Gina, up in accounting,
all those expenses

that you've rung up?

(exhaling)

- What are you doing?

- [Kevin] I'm trying to whistle.

- That's not a whistle.

- That's not the point.

The card, please?

Thank you.

Mr. Warren would
like you to go home,

and he will deal with
you when he returns.

- Kevin, you're not--

- I don't wanna hear it.

- You can't fire me.

- That's correct.

But I can suspend you, and
that's what I'm doing right now.

- Just because I--

- Just because!

Corporate fraud is
not a just because.

You have always been
a world class slacker,

but congratulations.

You have just graduated to an
epic screw-up, and a criminal.

If it was up to me I would
send you to jail today,

but Mr. Warren insisted that
he takes care of it himself.

But don't fret, Dumpty.

We'll survive just fine
without the lackluster services

of our hotel greeter.

- A hotel greeter?

- Oh yes.

And a bad one at that.

- Ooh, what's he
talking about, Andy?

- [Andy] Nothing, he's just--

- You told you were the manager.

(laughs)

- He did?

Oh, that's funny.

(laughing)

That's funny.

Because I'm the manager.

- Is that true?

(sighs)

- Yes.

- You lied to me?

(crying)

(solemn music)

- Hayley, wait.

- Don't touch me!

- Okay.

I'm sorry, but, you
gotta let me explain.

- Explain what?

Explain what, Andy?

Every single moment that you
and I have spent together

has been a lie.

- I wanted to tell
you the truth, but--

- [Hayley] But?

- But I thought you
would leave me, okay?

I thought that--

- [Hayley] You thought
that what, Andy?

- That you're this
insanely beautiful,

successful businesswoman
and I'm a loser.

Okay, tell me you didn't fall
in love with my Am Ex card.

Tell me that you fell
in love with the schmuck

who cries like a
infant at the opera

and accidentally eats flowers.

Tell me you don't care that
I'm a flat broke greeter

who lives in a 200
square foot apartment.

I know you would never
lie, and I would never

stoop this low,
but I didn't think

that you would fall for me if I,

if I wasn't as
successful as you were.

And that was wrong.

But I am in love with you.

- I don't know you.

- Hayley, come on.

(solemn music)

(crying)

- Dress to impress.

Bollocks!

(sobbing)

- It's gonna be a great day.

A great day.

(light music)

¶ Thinking tomorrow that
I'll see your face ¶

¶ So sorry that I let you go ¶

¶ And the memory of your kiss
still haunts me at night ¶

¶ But I'm not with you babe ¶

¶ Lost is what I feel ¶

¶ When you take
me to your house ¶

(water running)

¶ And words cannot describe as ¶

¶ I kiss your lips goodbye ¶

¶ Lost is what I feel ¶

(alarm buzzing)

¶ When you take
me to your house ¶

¶ And words cannot describe as ¶

¶ I kiss your lips goodnight ¶

¶ When I kiss your
lips goodbye ¶

¶ Goodbye ¶

¶ Oh, oh ¶

(knocking)

(laughing)

- Hey, what's going on?

- Who are you?

(laughing)

- I'm the guy whose
door you knocked on.

- I'm Andy.

I'm looking for
Hayley, she lives here.

- Yeah, I guess
you could say that.

But she went out with Sasha,
she's not here right now.

(laughing)

- I'm sorry, I recognize you.

You're that guy from the
pictures in her room.

- I'm Devon.

Oh, I know exactly,
all right, cool.

I know who you are.

She's gonna be back in a
little bit, you wanna come in?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Come on in.

- Okay.

(sighs)

- So, it's poker night.

Make yourself
comfortable, have a seat.

- Oh, I don't wanna...

- This is Doc, Dopito,
Bashful, and Grumpy.

- Why do I gotta be Dopito?

- Because you look
like a Mexican.

- That's a little racist.

- This is Hayley's friend.

- Andy.
- Andy.

- Nice shirt, man.

Who's Hayley?

- Freeloader who lives
in Sasha's closet.

- Let's be nice, all right.

Helping out a friend, thank you.

- Sure.

Why did he just say that?

- He's a little banged
up, who knows what he says

half the time, don't
worry about it.

- All right.

Can we?

- Can we smoke in here?

- No.

I told you that like
a couple minutes ago.

You want Sasha to freak?

- Well how am I
supposed to play poker

and drink without smoking?

- My apartment, my rules.

(laughing)

- Hey, what do you mean--

- So with Hayley,
I think that maybe

if you just give her
a little bit of time--

- Honestly, I mean, it sucks.

Next time we're not
gonna play at your place.

This is like a nunnery.

(laughing)

- Feels like you keep
saying your place.

- [Dopito] It's a place
where nuns are made.

- Don't worry about it.

First of all, it's also where
his ex-wife buys his weed,

so there we go, right?

(laughing)

- I'm gonna throw up.

- Oh, dude, dude, dude,
right through the hallway,

first door on the right.

- See, it wasn't so bad.

- I mean, the drinks
were really good.

- Hey babe.

- [Devon] Hey honey,
we have a guest.

- So, what exactly did you mean

when you said that
this is your house?

- Andy?

(scoffs)

- [Andy] Hi.

What do you mean you live here?

- Okay, this is when
you spit it out.

- It's theirs, okay?

I haven't been entirely
honest with you either.

(solemn music)

- Why would you tell
me this was your place?

- It means I don't exactly
have my own place right now.

- And?

(sighs)

- And I'm not a consultant.

I'm a shampoo girl.

And a failure, and now
a fraud, apparently.

So that's good.

(vomiting)
(shouting)

- [Sasha] Poker game over.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- [Hayley] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- [Sasha] No worries, no
worries, you'll clean it up.

- [Andy] I'm sorry.

- [Devon] I think it
might be time to leave.

- [Andy] Yeah, I'm sorry.

We were just lying
to each other.

You know what?

(solemn music)

I wanted to love you.

I still wanna love you.

Maybe one day we can, but

not until we find the courage
to love ourselves as we are.

Just not someone else.

This is embarrassing.

I'm gonna go.

- Okay.

- Look, it's not the
end of the world, right?

- Oh. (laughs)

Probably gonna get
fired from my job

and I just lost a
girl that I thought

I was gonna spend the
rest of my life with,

but it doesn't feel like it.

- Well, my point is, she's
never gonna see you again.

- Wait, that's my point.

- No, I'm agreeing
with your point,

I'm just saying, she's
not gonna see you again

because you lied to her.

- So?

- So you don't need
to be embarrassed

that you threw up at
her friend's house,

that's not the reason
it didn't work out.

- You are just a huge help.

- Look, do you ever wanna
see this chick again?

You don't even know her.

- I just really
thought I loved her.

- You thought you loved her
or you loved the idea of her?

- I don't know, whatever
it is, I miss it.

Just wish I would have
never read that damn book.

- What book?

- Sasha, I think there
was something real there.

Under the lies and
all that deception

and everything we both
did, I think it was real.

Oh god, I must be crazy.

- Yes, you are.

(laughing)

But so was he, and maybe
you both being crazy

is why you're perfect
for each other.

- If we were perfect
for each other

we wouldn't have lied, though.

- Well, I wouldn't be
too hard on yourself.

You were just (clears throat)
following instructions.

- Jessica.

- Yes.

- You know, I think
my copy was broken.

- Is there security?

- No no, no.

Don't worry.

Don't worry, I'm leaving.

But thank you for nothing.

- I'm so sorry.

That may have been my fault.

You don't know me,
I'm Hayley, hi.

I met you at a book
signing a few months ago,

and yeah, I'm pretty
sure that was me.

Sorry.

- Do you know him?

- I do.

He's my ex.

- Oh, well your ex didn't
like my book very much,

he burned it, dumped
it on my desk,

and told me it was broken.

- Your book.

- [Jessica] Was.

- I see that.

Sorry again.

We've both been reading your
book and following your advice.

We did do that.

Where we sort of
projected to be successful

like we're wanting to be,
but we're not really, and--

- Yes, you read it wrong.

- What?

- It's project success
in business not in love.

(light music)

- Is there any way you
wanna go get a drink?

I'd love to just talk to you
and maybe get some advice.

- You know what, I
could use a drink.

- Really?

- Yes.

- Well.

- Yes, and the
first one's on me.

- Thank you, 'cause I'm broke.

- I don't care that
you spent $20,000

of the company's money.

I don't care that you committed

what amounts to corporate fraud.

What I do care about
is that I gave you

an opportunity and
you squandered it.

What I do care about is
that I saw potential in you

that was never really there.

What I care about is that
I wasted 15 years on you.

Now you have to find a
way to help yourself.

Help yourself grow, I
can no longer help you.

You're fired.

See yourself out.

- Sir, I understand.

I would fire me too.

(solemn music)

But I am incredibly grateful for

everything that
you've done for me.

And, well, there's nothing
I can say to let you know

how sorry I am that I've let
you down, and let myself down.

- I got work to do.

(dialing phone)

- I'm coming back.

But I'm not coming
back as your clerk.

I'm gonna come back
as your partner.

And I'm gonna show you.

(hangs up phone)

Grandma, you are a life saver.

(light music)

- Hi.

I'm Hayley, nice
to meet you both.

Okay, so my idea is to
combine a spa and a salon.

¶ Conversation, said
I'm lost in a mood ¶

¶ I didn't drink, I
think I'm wasted on you ¶

¶ I'll never last, never
feel like I can run, hey ¶

¶ We light the fire then
we pull out the plug ¶

¶ There's no incandescent ¶

¶ Inside the tattoo's
permanent, here to stay ¶

¶ There's no incandescent ¶

¶ Inside the tattoo as we
feel, I'm here to stay ¶

¶ Even if I meet you tomorrow ¶

¶ I'll be here to wake
you up in the morning ¶

¶ And dance with you
until nightfall ¶

¶ It's today and the day
and the day after that ¶

¶ I'll stay with you tomorrow ¶

¶ Good night into good morning ¶

¶ We pick up our love
as we trust fall ¶

¶ It's today and the day
and the day after that ¶

¶ I'll stay with you ¶

¶ The king of hearts is
being dealt on my sleeve ¶

¶ It is no card with
the hand of its queen ¶

¶ If you're afraid to jump
then how will you ever fall ¶

¶ There's no shame in
loving this deeply ¶

¶ There's no incandescent ¶

¶ Inside the tattoo as we feel ¶

¶ I'm here to stay ¶

¶ Even if I meet you tomorrow ¶

¶ I'll be here to wake
you up in the morning ¶

¶ And dance with you
until nightfall ¶

¶ It's today and the day
and the day after that ¶

¶ I'll stay with you tomorrow ¶

- Man, I've been working on
that thing for eight months.

- Listen, Crash Pad
is a great idea.

- Yeah.

Now that's out of my hands
all I can think about is her.

- Well.

It's been inspiring watching
you work on something so hard.

And listen, good things
happen to good people, right?

You keep your heart
in the right place

you're gonna get everything.

You get the girl and the job.

You deserve it.

- [Andy] Thanks man.

(insects chirping)

(bangs)

(knocking)

- What are you doing here, Andy?

- I would love to
see Mr. Warren.

- Come in.

Make yourself comfortable,
and I'll go grab him.

Listen, don't tell him
that I'm telling you this,

but he really wanted you to
come visit for Christmas,

we both did.

(sighs)

- Yeah.

I'm sorry I missed it.

- Go ahead, go sit down.

(exhales)

(exhaling)

- What's that?

- How are you, sir?

That.

- Spit it out, Andy.

- Yes sir.

It's your 50th hotel.

And it's my first.

Of many.

- I have no time
for games, Andy.

- I understand.

I'm not here to play games.

- Sit down.

- Mr. Warren, I
need to apologize.

- I know that
you're sorry, Andy,

you don't need to apologize.

- Dude.

I mean, you've been incredibly
gracious to my family and I.

You've been like
a second father.

You deserve more respect
and more gratitude

than I obviously
can give to you.

Now I'm just--

- I appreciate that,
Andy, thank you.

Now shut the hell up and
show me what's in this case.

(laughs)

- I'd like to present to you

Crash Pad Incorporated,

by Andrew Palazzo. (laughs)

And look, I mean,
the projected revenue

from the first quarter
is there, and you know,

if you flip here,
actually, sorry.

But wait.

There's more.

I'd like you to take a
stroll through the hotel.

I've created an idea to
make a hotel feel like home.

Like an apartment.

The interior, it's
casual, it's friendly,

it's affordable, I
mean, we have a staff

that dresses in street clothes

rather than bell hop uniforms,

and the refrigerators
are filled with beer

and hot pockets, if they want,

and I want a home
away from home.

That's the Crash Pad.

I put my heart into
this, Mr. Warren,

and I feel like it can work.

And I mean, I--

- Scotch?

- No, I'm...

I'm off booze.

Yeah.

A home away from home.

- It's very very risky.

- No, Mr. Warren, I--

- Stop.

It's also brilliant.

(laughs)

The hotel VCs are tight asses.

They don't like to stray too
far off the comfort zone,

so if this is gonna happen,
it has to be outside the box.

Investors with balls.

- Mr. Warren--

- Sebastian.

Sebastian.

If we're gonna be
business partners,

it's gotta be on a
first name basis.

- Sir.

Thank you.

(laughs)

- Here we are.

To the first step.

(glasses clink)

- To the first step.

(giggles)

Remind me again what
the next step is?

(laughing)

- We find a company
to partner with.

- Mm-hmm.

- Someone who will be the
perfect fit for the spa.

Well aren't you happy?

- Oh, I am.

I just miss him.

- So call him.

- No, I can't.

I have to drag myself out first.

If it's meant to be we'll
find each other again,

but this takes priority.

- Good girl.

(glasses clink)

- Nice suit.

Shiny.

- Thank you.

- Dude, you fart?

- That was me.

I'm sorry.

Not on purpose.

(light music)
(birds chirping)

(typing)

(phone ringing)

- Hey babe.

Nothing.

I'm stocking conditioner.

Yes, it's riveting.

What?

(screaming)

We did it!

They said yes, they said yes!

They said yes!

They said yes!

- What is going on
with the screaming?

What is happening?

- They said yes!

- I don't care.

Who said yes to what?

Your behavior is
completely unacceptable.

- You know what Mia?

Blow it out of your ass.

Shove it in your face.

I'm out, bitches!

They said yes!

(light music)

(power tools whirring)

So construction starts when?

- A few months from now.

Tonight is just a
groundbreaking party,

you know, a chance for
everyone to meet each other.

- [Hayley] I cannot believe
that this is happening.

- Well, I can.

Because you deserve it.

(chuckling)

- Thank you.

- My pleasure.

- [Hayley] I can't see.

- I know, good good
good, right here.

And

right here.

- It's beautiful.

- [Sasha] That's
because it's yours.

- Thank you.

(sighs)

Sasha.

- Hmm?

- What's this hotel called?

- What is this hotel
called, you know,

that is a really good question.

- [Andy] You know, I
thought I said that.

- You know what, you did.

I'm gonna go find
some more liquid food.

- Thanks Sasha.

- [Sasha] You're welcome.

- What, you don't
remember the name?

- [Hayley] Crash Pad?

- Yeah.

- [Hayley] How did you do this?

- With a lot of help.

Some good advice, and some bad.

And Mr. Warren.

- We like Mr. Warren.

- We like Mr. Warren.

(laughing)

When I found out we were gonna
have the space for a spa,

I knew a little someone that
had some wonderful ideas,

just hadn't got the
opportunities yet.

It was true.

Us.

When you said that everything
we ever had together

was a lie, that wasn't
true either, because

the moment you came
through those doors,

I fell in love with you.

(light music)

And I know I did some--

- Shut up and kiss me.

Show me Crash Pad.

- [Andy] Okay.
(Hayley laughs)

¶ Simple but it's complicated ¶

¶ Conversation underrated ¶

¶ I could be your open
book when you're closed ¶

¶ Tell me is it too impulsive ¶

¶ Asking you to
stay till morning ¶

¶ It's a familiar
feeling we all know ¶

¶ Let's roll on out ¶

¶ We'll stay up talking
shit all night ¶

¶ And climb the roof and watch
the world be set on fire ¶

¶ Break the rules and look
for things we shouldn't find ¶

¶ Tonight ¶

¶ 'Cause lately ¶

¶ I been going crazy ¶

¶ I think this
might've saved me ¶

¶ Exactly what I needed ¶

¶ I need it tonight ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ I need it tonight ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ Spend a little
time that's wasted ¶

¶ We can jump into the
pool we can get naked ¶

¶ You wanna take it too
far, that's where we'll go ¶

¶ Let's roll on out ¶

¶ We'll stay up talking
shit all night ¶

¶ And climb the roof and watch
the world be set on fire ¶

¶ Break the rules and look
for things we shouldn't find ¶

¶ Tonight ¶

¶ 'Cause lately ¶

¶ I been going crazy ¶

¶ I think this
might've saved me ¶

¶ Exactly what I needed ¶

¶ I need it tonight ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ I need it tonight ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ I need it tonight ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ 'Cause lately ¶

¶ I been going crazy ¶

¶ I think this
might've saved me ¶

¶ Exactly what I needed ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ I need it tonight ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ I need it tonight ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ I need it tonight ¶

¶ Yeah ¶

¶ I need it tonight ¶