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1
00:00:41,149 --> 00:00:43,882
Michael, I have this fantasy.
2
00:00:43,883 --> 00:00:45,149
Uh-huh.
3
00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:46,481
It's Sunday morning,
4
00:00:46,482 --> 00:00:49,082
and I'm lying in bed.
5
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,449
And I hear the little thump
of the newspaper at the door,
6
00:00:51,450 --> 00:00:53,416
and the sun's just
coming through the window.
7
00:00:53,417 --> 00:00:55,250
- Yeah?
- And in the distance,
8
00:00:55,251 --> 00:00:58,517
I hear the sound of
someone singing very quietly
9
00:00:58,518 --> 00:01:00,283
because they don't want to wake me up.
10
00:01:00,284 --> 00:01:03,117
Well, that's considerate, I think.
11
00:01:03,118 --> 00:01:05,918
And, as I look across the room,
12
00:01:05,919 --> 00:01:09,018
I see, through the frosted
glass of the shower,
13
00:01:09,019 --> 00:01:10,885
the shape...
14
00:01:10,886 --> 00:01:14,118
Of the guy that I love.
15
00:01:14,119 --> 00:01:15,852
Am I conditioning my hair at the time?
16
00:01:15,853 --> 00:01:16,886
- I'm being serious, Michael.
- I know.
17
00:01:16,887 --> 00:01:17,919
I'm sorry. It sounds nice.
18
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:19,420
It is nice. It can be nice.
19
00:01:19,421 --> 00:01:21,987
It will be nice when
you move in with me.
20
00:01:21,988 --> 00:01:24,287
Hey, what do you know?
X-Men is out on DVD.
21
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,821
You haven't given me an answer yet.
22
00:01:29,822 --> 00:01:31,320
I've been thinking about it.
23
00:01:31,321 --> 00:01:34,054
- And?
- Well...
24
00:01:34,055 --> 00:01:35,022
It's a big step.
25
00:01:35,023 --> 00:01:36,855
- Watch out for the dog poop.
- Heh.
26
00:01:36,856 --> 00:01:38,455
Yes, it's a big step. Of
course it's a big step.
27
00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:40,022
And I don't want to put pressure on you,
28
00:01:40,023 --> 00:01:41,855
but I believe that when
somebody knows what they want,
29
00:01:41,856 --> 00:01:43,489
they've got to go after it.
30
00:01:43,490 --> 00:01:48,190
I want you to be coming
out of that shower,
31
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,224
and I want to know that
you're not going to run out.
32
00:01:53,525 --> 00:01:55,924
Wouldn't you like that too?
33
00:01:55,925 --> 00:01:57,258
Well, sure.
34
00:01:57,259 --> 00:01:59,124
So when do I get an answer?
35
00:01:59,125 --> 00:02:01,258
Soon.
36
00:02:01,259 --> 00:02:03,391
I promise.
37
00:02:03,392 --> 00:02:06,025
Are we still on for brunch tomorrow?
38
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,159
I can hardly wait.
39
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,027
Mm.
40
00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:14,993
- David?
- Yeah?
41
00:02:14,994 --> 00:02:18,127
Nobody's ever put me
in a fantasy before.
42
00:02:18,128 --> 00:02:19,995
That you know about.
43
00:02:22,929 --> 00:02:24,494
Bye.
44
00:02:24,495 --> 00:02:26,461
Don't they have the most beautiful baby?
45
00:02:26,462 --> 00:02:27,928
- Hi!
- Hi, Linz.
46
00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:30,328
- Hi.
- Second most beautiful.
47
00:02:30,329 --> 00:02:33,529
Mmm-mwah. Mmm...
48
00:02:33,530 --> 00:02:35,329
Did you know he's a stay-at-home dad?
49
00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:37,463
Really? So who pays for the pampers?
50
00:02:37,464 --> 00:02:38,863
She does.
51
00:02:38,864 --> 00:02:41,097
Something with stocks and the Internet.
52
00:02:41,098 --> 00:02:42,496
Come on, hurry up. We're going.
53
00:02:42,497 --> 00:02:45,863
Anyway, I was just thinking.
54
00:02:45,864 --> 00:02:47,297
I'd like to stay at home.
55
00:02:47,298 --> 00:02:48,265
Well, that sounds good.
56
00:02:48,266 --> 00:02:49,731
We can order in kung-pao chicken,
57
00:02:49,732 --> 00:02:50,964
rent Terms of Endearment.
58
00:02:50,965 --> 00:02:52,732
You know what I mean.
59
00:02:54,833 --> 00:02:57,232
What about your job?
60
00:02:57,233 --> 00:02:59,232
Do you think anyone ever
looked back on their life
61
00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:01,199
and said, "gee... I wish I hadn't
62
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,366
taken that year off
to be with the baby"?
63
00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:06,866
But I thought we had
a plan, a good plan.
64
00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:08,400
After your maternity leave is up
65
00:03:08,401 --> 00:03:11,734
- and we get a nanny...
- A nanny. I know, I know.
66
00:03:11,735 --> 00:03:14,867
But I didn't think I'd
be in love like this.
67
00:03:14,868 --> 00:03:18,002
Hmm.
68
00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:20,002
Look, I'm perfectly happy
69
00:03:20,003 --> 00:03:21,235
for you to stay at home,
70
00:03:21,236 --> 00:03:22,868
and I think it'd be wonderful for Gus
71
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,235
to have one of his mommies with him.
72
00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:28,103
- But we have to be practical.
- Money.
73
00:03:28,104 --> 00:03:31,203
Unless you have a solution.
74
00:03:31,204 --> 00:03:33,236
Brian?
75
00:03:33,237 --> 00:03:35,004
It was just a suggestion.
76
00:03:35,005 --> 00:03:37,337
After what he did?
77
00:03:37,338 --> 00:03:39,837
Just remember, we wouldn't
have Gus without him.
78
00:03:39,838 --> 00:03:44,738
And every time I look at
him, kiss him, hold him,
79
00:03:44,739 --> 00:03:47,305
I realize I have absolutely no rights.
80
00:03:47,306 --> 00:03:50,405
You're still his parent,
every bit as much as I am.
81
00:03:50,406 --> 00:03:54,106
Not every bit. Brian
took that away from me.
82
00:03:54,107 --> 00:03:55,807
I have no more claims to our son
83
00:03:55,808 --> 00:03:58,108
than if I were a total stranger.
84
00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:06,674
Oh, my God! He lives here?
85
00:04:06,675 --> 00:04:09,175
Now I do too. Isn't that cool?
86
00:04:09,176 --> 00:04:12,442
Check out the TV. And the DVDs.
87
00:04:12,443 --> 00:04:15,176
The furniture is all Italian.
88
00:04:15,177 --> 00:04:17,109
Milan.
89
00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:20,844
Ooh! Wait till you see the
painting of the naked guy.
90
00:04:23,144 --> 00:04:25,143
Ohh.
91
00:04:25,144 --> 00:04:27,244
Oh, my God.
92
00:04:28,244 --> 00:04:29,744
Justin, uh...
93
00:04:29,745 --> 00:04:31,112
A word.
94
00:04:34,913 --> 00:04:36,211
Hmm?
95
00:04:36,212 --> 00:04:37,678
What the fuck is going on out there?
96
00:04:37,679 --> 00:04:39,812
I was just giving my
friend Daphne a tour.
97
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,712
- This is not the White House!
- Ow.
98
00:04:41,713 --> 00:04:43,179
George Washington never slept here.
99
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,214
He's the only one who hasn't.
100
00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,747
Would you please just keep it down?
101
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,079
Do you have any idea what time it is?
102
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,014
It's noon.
103
00:04:53,015 --> 00:04:54,414
Oh, shit.
104
00:04:54,415 --> 00:04:56,915
I'm supposed to meet my
new trainer at 1:00. Fuck!
105
00:05:02,349 --> 00:05:05,348
You're just going to have
to be more considerate, Daph.
106
00:05:05,349 --> 00:05:07,049
Do either one of you know how to make
107
00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:09,016
a creatine and soy shake?
108
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,082
No.
109
00:05:11,083 --> 00:05:13,884
Would you please just
pour me some guava juice?
110
00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:23,217
- Hmm.
- Oh. Here it is.
111
00:05:23,218 --> 00:05:24,384
So are you going home today?
112
00:05:24,385 --> 00:05:25,851
What for?
113
00:05:25,852 --> 00:05:28,285
Well, I saw the balloons on the mailbox.
114
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,285
Oh, shit.
115
00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:32,685
Molly's birthday.
116
00:05:32,686 --> 00:05:34,985
Uh, yeah, but how can I go back now?
117
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:37,085
She's your little sister.
118
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:38,986
- I'm sure she misses you.
- Yeah.
119
00:05:38,987 --> 00:05:41,853
She's probably appropriated
all my coolest stuff.
120
00:05:41,854 --> 00:05:43,987
Here's your drink, Brian.
121
00:05:45,855 --> 00:05:47,754
You'll make an excellent wife.
122
00:05:47,755 --> 00:05:49,654
And then she can drop you.
123
00:05:49,655 --> 00:05:52,054
Please. I'm never getting married.
124
00:05:52,055 --> 00:05:53,621
I mean, why be tied down?
125
00:05:53,622 --> 00:05:58,088
I love this girl. So...
126
00:05:58,089 --> 00:06:01,355
I'm going. What are you doing?
127
00:06:01,356 --> 00:06:04,256
Mmm, gonna smoke some
weed, download porn.
128
00:06:04,257 --> 00:06:05,989
Mm-hmm. Well, if you go out,
129
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,858
be sure and set the alarm.
130
00:06:09,958 --> 00:06:11,925
Bye, darling.
131
00:06:15,692 --> 00:06:17,257
Oh, my God.
132
00:06:17,258 --> 00:06:20,126
He's to die for.
133
00:06:23,293 --> 00:06:25,258
Honey, I...
134
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:26,992
I'm so happy for you.
135
00:06:26,993 --> 00:06:30,059
- When... when did he ask?
- Last week.
136
00:06:30,060 --> 00:06:32,593
Last week? Last week?
137
00:06:32,594 --> 00:06:33,626
Why didn't you tell me?
138
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,593
I haven't told anyone.
139
00:06:35,594 --> 00:06:36,594
I haven't decided yet.
140
00:06:36,595 --> 00:06:38,260
Wha... what's to decide?
141
00:06:38,261 --> 00:06:39,627
The man of your dreams
142
00:06:39,628 --> 00:06:40,761
wants you to move in with him.
143
00:06:40,762 --> 00:06:41,828
Wha...
144
00:06:41,829 --> 00:06:44,228
I don't know if we're ready.
145
00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:46,628
We don't know each
other very well, and...
146
00:06:46,629 --> 00:06:47,795
Please. There's plenty of time for that
147
00:06:47,796 --> 00:06:49,562
once you're living together.
148
00:06:49,563 --> 00:06:52,196
What about my stuff? My comics and...
149
00:06:52,197 --> 00:06:55,262
And my robots and Captain Astro?
150
00:06:55,263 --> 00:06:56,629
Fuck Captain Astro.
151
00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:59,996
You've got Dr. David.
152
00:06:59,997 --> 00:07:01,730
This is still my home.
153
00:07:01,731 --> 00:07:03,897
This dump?
154
00:07:03,898 --> 00:07:07,698
Honey, you won't look back.
155
00:07:07,699 --> 00:07:09,765
Well, and what about you guys?
156
00:07:09,766 --> 00:07:13,199
If I'm living with someone,
I... I won't be able to see you.
157
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,200
Of course you will.
158
00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:16,998
I, for one, expect to be invited
159
00:07:16,999 --> 00:07:21,566
to fabulous dinner parties
at least once a week.
160
00:07:27,202 --> 00:07:29,234
This is about what a certain
someone is going to say,
161
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:31,668
isn't it?
162
00:07:31,669 --> 00:07:35,568
Well, I say that you
deserve to be loved.
163
00:07:35,569 --> 00:07:38,235
And don't let any man, queen,
164
00:07:38,236 --> 00:07:42,603
or Brian tell you otherwise.
165
00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:47,837
Thanks, Em.
166
00:07:47,838 --> 00:07:49,204
You're welcome.
167
00:07:53,871 --> 00:07:57,237
Now, there's just one other thing.
168
00:07:57,238 --> 00:07:58,671
What about me?
169
00:07:58,672 --> 00:08:00,804
How the hell am I supposed
to pay the rent on this place
170
00:08:00,805 --> 00:08:01,971
all by myself?
171
00:08:01,972 --> 00:08:04,071
- Rotten bastard.
- Whoa. Ohh!
172
00:08:06,739 --> 00:08:08,239
Okay, get ready for the count of three.
173
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,573
- One, two, three...
- Make a wish!
174
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:11,773
Make a wish!
175
00:08:16,074 --> 00:08:17,708
You're going to get your wish.
176
00:08:19,174 --> 00:08:20,741
Jennifer...
177
00:08:24,142 --> 00:08:27,141
Sweetheart.
178
00:08:27,142 --> 00:08:30,075
You came.
179
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:32,075
I couldn't miss Molly's birthday.
180
00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,709
Where's Dad?
181
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,509
Uh, he's upstairs watching the game.
182
00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:36,809
Kids' parties aren't exactly his thing.
183
00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:38,442
Molly.
184
00:08:38,443 --> 00:08:39,642
Justin!
185
00:08:39,643 --> 00:08:41,443
Happy Birthday, mollusk.
186
00:08:41,444 --> 00:08:42,844
What you gonna give me?
187
00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:44,944
Permission to live.
188
00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:46,478
Here.
189
00:08:53,545 --> 00:08:54,946
Justin, this is beautiful.
190
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,947
Hey? Okay, go get some cake.
191
00:09:00,513 --> 00:09:02,546
- She's thrilled you came.
- Yeah?
192
00:09:02,547 --> 00:09:04,413
How could you tell?
193
00:09:04,414 --> 00:09:06,746
Are you all right? Are you eating?
194
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:08,480
Does it look like I'm starving?
195
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:11,481
Well, you are staying for dinner?
196
00:09:11,482 --> 00:09:13,113
That depends if Dad wants to see me.
197
00:09:13,114 --> 00:09:15,781
Of course he wants to see you.
198
00:09:15,782 --> 00:09:17,848
He's as upset about this as you are.
199
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,114
Really?
200
00:09:19,115 --> 00:09:21,582
He wants you to come home,
201
00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:23,415
as you know I do.
202
00:09:23,416 --> 00:09:26,849
Well... I want to come home too.
203
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,983
God, Justin.
204
00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:34,916
I'm so glad to hear you say that.
205
00:09:34,917 --> 00:09:36,584
- Let's go tell him.
- Wait.
206
00:09:36,585 --> 00:09:39,917
What about the rules?
207
00:09:39,918 --> 00:09:41,951
Which rules?
208
00:09:41,952 --> 00:09:43,984
That I can't go out or see Brian,
209
00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:47,985
or talk about my "disgusting lifestyle."
210
00:09:47,986 --> 00:09:50,552
I don't... I don't think
he meant it quite that way.
211
00:09:50,553 --> 00:09:53,419
Well, what did he mean?
212
00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:57,953
I think he just wants
everything to be as it was.
213
00:09:58,754 --> 00:10:00,453
Well, it can't be the way it was.
214
00:10:00,454 --> 00:10:02,687
I'm not the way I was.
215
00:10:02,688 --> 00:10:04,120
And I... I don't want
you to be anything other
216
00:10:04,121 --> 00:10:07,055
than who you are, I just...
217
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:13,555
I have to consider the
needs of this whole family,
218
00:10:13,556 --> 00:10:15,857
not just your desires.
219
00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:22,356
You have to understand that.
220
00:10:22,357 --> 00:10:24,090
Mom.
221
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,824
Mom?
222
00:10:33,792 --> 00:10:35,391
Let's get that cake cut.
223
00:10:35,392 --> 00:10:36,824
I don't know.
224
00:10:36,825 --> 00:10:38,325
That's why I was asking.
225
00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,725
The first piece. You
like the flower, right?
226
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,559
Yeah.
227
00:10:46,727 --> 00:10:47,927
Yay!
228
00:11:04,762 --> 00:11:06,862
Oh, wow. Whew.
229
00:11:06,863 --> 00:11:08,362
And that was just the warm-up.
230
00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:09,429
Wow!
231
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:11,562
Now we do some serious pumping,
232
00:11:11,563 --> 00:11:14,729
focusing on each muscle group.
233
00:11:14,730 --> 00:11:16,897
And plenty of reps.
234
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,631
What the fuck?
235
00:11:23,632 --> 00:11:26,398
Jesus, I thought I told that kid...
236
00:11:29,699 --> 00:11:31,365
My fucking television's gone.
237
00:11:31,366 --> 00:11:33,432
And my computer.
238
00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:35,832
Oh, fuck! My files.
239
00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:37,966
They even stole my fucking clothes!
240
00:11:43,701 --> 00:11:47,601
At least the bed's still here.
241
00:11:47,602 --> 00:11:50,934
You had any strangers
in the house recently?
242
00:12:03,570 --> 00:12:05,569
Uh, no. Just, uh...
243
00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:07,569
Family and close friends.
244
00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:08,703
So you want me to pick you up
245
00:12:08,704 --> 00:12:09,970
or do you want to meet me at Woody's?
246
00:12:09,971 --> 00:12:11,303
Fuck Woody's.
247
00:12:11,304 --> 00:12:12,704
I've been robbed.
248
00:12:12,705 --> 00:12:14,838
Get your ass over here.
249
00:12:22,006 --> 00:12:23,973
Holy shit!
250
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,806
Forgot to set the alarm?
251
00:12:29,807 --> 00:12:32,973
I th... I thought I did.
252
00:12:32,974 --> 00:12:35,406
Thought you did? Well, you didn't.
253
00:12:35,407 --> 00:12:36,874
Where the fuck did you go?
254
00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:38,840
My sister's birthday party.
255
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,841
And then I kinda walked around.
256
00:12:41,842 --> 00:12:43,975
Well, while you were
"kinda" walking around
257
00:12:43,976 --> 00:12:46,541
- I got "kinda" robbed.
- Just take it easy.
258
00:12:46,542 --> 00:12:49,275
Well, that's... that's
all there's left to take.
259
00:12:49,276 --> 00:12:51,242
Look, I didn't mean to do it.
260
00:12:51,243 --> 00:12:53,909
I'm so sorry.
261
00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:56,309
I told you, when I said
you could stay here,
262
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:58,610
there are rules.
263
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:01,210
Now you've got five
minutes to pack your shit,
264
00:13:01,211 --> 00:13:03,677
none of which, of course, was stolen,
265
00:13:03,678 --> 00:13:08,445
and get the fuck out of here!
266
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,312
Brian got robbed.
267
00:13:19,313 --> 00:13:23,247
Well, Brian should move
to a safer neighborhood.
268
00:13:23,248 --> 00:13:25,447
Like this. I leave my door unlocked,
269
00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:27,313
nothing ever gets taken.
270
00:13:27,314 --> 00:13:29,780
Not many thieves are looking
for a velvet matador painting
271
00:13:29,781 --> 00:13:31,947
and a console TV set from 1968, Mom.
272
00:13:31,948 --> 00:13:33,714
Those things happen to be
273
00:13:33,715 --> 00:13:35,848
very collectable these days.
274
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,715
So do they have any idea who did it?
275
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:40,748
No, but Brian sure is pissed at Justin.
276
00:13:40,749 --> 00:13:42,549
Poor Sunshine.
277
00:13:42,550 --> 00:13:44,616
Here, have some pancakes.
278
00:13:44,617 --> 00:13:45,782
Can't. I have a brunch.
279
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,816
A brunch? My, aren't we fancy?
280
00:13:48,817 --> 00:13:51,483
It's the same thing as breakfast...
281
00:13:51,484 --> 00:13:53,316
Except with some kiwi fruit on the side.
282
00:13:53,317 --> 00:13:56,417
Are you going with David,
my chiropractor-in-law?
283
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:57,783
Don't you start too.
284
00:13:57,784 --> 00:13:59,684
Start what? All I did was ask.
285
00:13:59,685 --> 00:14:01,918
Next thing you know,
you'll be wanting to know
286
00:14:01,919 --> 00:14:03,818
if we're gonna move in together.
287
00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:06,918
Wait a minute. Back up.
288
00:14:06,919 --> 00:14:09,187
He asked you?
289
00:14:12,487 --> 00:14:15,286
Yes, he asked.
290
00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:17,319
Did you hear that?
291
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,853
He asked you?
292
00:14:19,854 --> 00:14:22,621
Oh, Michael! That's wonderful!
293
00:14:22,622 --> 00:14:24,254
Congratulations, Mikey.
294
00:14:24,255 --> 00:14:26,255
Oh! I've got some
beautiful heirloom pieces
295
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:27,621
that your grandmother gave me.
296
00:14:27,622 --> 00:14:29,188
I've been saving them up just for you.
297
00:14:29,189 --> 00:14:30,688
Don't drag out the candlesticks yet.
298
00:14:30,689 --> 00:14:33,222
I didn't say yes.
299
00:14:33,223 --> 00:14:34,855
Well, what did you say?
300
00:14:34,856 --> 00:14:36,788
Well, I said I'd think about it.
301
00:14:36,789 --> 00:14:38,723
What's to think about?
302
00:14:38,724 --> 00:14:40,389
Plenty.
303
00:14:40,390 --> 00:14:42,689
I remember it took
Roberto and me six months
304
00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:46,156
to finally decide to live together.
305
00:14:46,157 --> 00:14:47,524
And a week to break up.
306
00:14:47,525 --> 00:14:49,258
Well, how did you know
he was still seeing
307
00:14:49,259 --> 00:14:50,624
three of his ex-es?
308
00:14:50,625 --> 00:14:51,690
And why do you have
to fill the kid's head
309
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,525
with horror stories?
310
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:55,124
I'm just saying it's not so easy
311
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:56,424
for two men to be a couple.
312
00:14:56,425 --> 00:14:59,426
You think it's easy for anybody?
313
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:04,526
But if you love each other,
314
00:15:04,527 --> 00:15:08,394
you at least owe it
to yourselves to try.
315
00:15:13,661 --> 00:15:15,094
You didn't have to make brunch.
316
00:15:15,095 --> 00:15:17,127
Brunch is served.
317
00:15:17,128 --> 00:15:18,594
I brought brunch.
318
00:15:18,595 --> 00:15:22,195
12 Armani suits, 4 Gucci belts,
319
00:15:22,196 --> 00:15:25,396
and 6 pairs of Prada shoes, gone.
320
00:15:27,264 --> 00:15:29,563
You know I'm starting to
suspect gay-on-gay crime.
321
00:15:29,564 --> 00:15:31,129
Well, I wouldn't be surprised.
322
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,363
You have more visitors
than Disney World.
323
00:15:33,364 --> 00:15:35,496
I can't find a knife
for the cream cheese.
324
00:15:35,497 --> 00:15:37,531
Yeah? Well, they stole that too.
325
00:15:37,532 --> 00:15:39,297
They stole your cutlery?
326
00:15:39,298 --> 00:15:40,531
Even my juicer. I mean...
327
00:15:40,532 --> 00:15:43,064
Who the fuck steals a
Philippe Starck juicer?
328
00:15:43,065 --> 00:15:47,198
A thirsty thief with good taste?
329
00:15:47,199 --> 00:15:48,398
I didn't know you could cook.
330
00:15:48,399 --> 00:15:50,798
Mm. Someday I'm gonna
make some lucky man
331
00:15:50,799 --> 00:15:52,399
the perfect wife.
332
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,633
I used to say the same thing.
333
00:15:54,634 --> 00:15:57,733
Oh, but instead you've made
someone the perfect husband.
334
00:15:57,734 --> 00:15:59,166
Mmm!
335
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,766
These days you boys are so
careful about what you eat.
336
00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:05,333
All those egg whites and protein bars.
337
00:16:05,334 --> 00:16:07,167
I suspect it's less to do with health
338
00:16:07,168 --> 00:16:11,034
and more about keeping
those 29-inch waists.
339
00:16:11,035 --> 00:16:13,135
Oh, come on. You guys
are in great shape.
340
00:16:13,136 --> 00:16:16,135
Mm, we try to stay active.
341
00:16:16,136 --> 00:16:17,602
If you know what I mean.
342
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,236
Well, I hope they
find who's responsible.
343
00:16:21,237 --> 00:16:22,536
I know who's responsible.
344
00:16:22,537 --> 00:16:24,769
That little asshole who
forgot to set my alarm.
345
00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:26,637
Ohh, as if you never forgot anything.
346
00:16:26,638 --> 00:16:29,271
Nothing that important.
347
00:16:29,272 --> 00:16:31,404
You know, I just want
Lindsay to be happy.
348
00:16:31,405 --> 00:16:32,604
That's all I've ever wanted.
349
00:16:32,605 --> 00:16:34,271
I think it's great that
she wants to stay home
350
00:16:34,272 --> 00:16:35,671
with the baby, but...
351
00:16:35,672 --> 00:16:37,071
On your salary alone,
352
00:16:37,072 --> 00:16:39,238
I just don't see how
we can make it work.
353
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:42,672
Maybe if I took on a bigger case load.
354
00:16:42,673 --> 00:16:46,373
Or, um, what if we reduced our expenses?
355
00:16:46,374 --> 00:16:48,139
Mm. It's going to be kind of tough
356
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,706
with another mouth to feed.
357
00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,273
These two met in World War II.
358
00:16:52,274 --> 00:16:54,573
- We served on a warship.
- The "Yorktown."
359
00:16:54,574 --> 00:16:57,374
Talk about your gay cruise.
360
00:16:57,375 --> 00:16:59,440
There was this place behind the ammo bay
361
00:16:59,441 --> 00:17:01,241
where you could get a blow job
362
00:17:01,242 --> 00:17:03,208
any time, day or night.
363
00:17:05,276 --> 00:17:06,542
This was wartime.
364
00:17:06,543 --> 00:17:08,475
You could die at any moment.
365
00:17:08,476 --> 00:17:13,075
And sex was how you knew
you were still alive.
366
00:17:13,076 --> 00:17:15,010
I know you may not want to hear this,
367
00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:17,277
considering he wouldn't
give you parental rights,
368
00:17:17,278 --> 00:17:18,610
- but, uh...
- No, I told Lindsay,
369
00:17:18,611 --> 00:17:20,677
Brian is not the
solution to our problems.
370
00:17:20,678 --> 00:17:24,177
He's the cause. And he
can keep his goddamn money.
371
00:17:24,178 --> 00:17:28,112
Well, then there's only
one other possibility.
372
00:17:31,679 --> 00:17:33,178
So where is he?
373
00:17:33,179 --> 00:17:34,512
- Who?
- Justin.
374
00:17:34,513 --> 00:17:36,679
I don't know!
375
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,746
I told him to pack his
shit and get the hell out.
376
00:17:40,747 --> 00:17:43,713
You want me to use my
inheritance my father gave me?
377
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,413
Well, if it's that important to you
378
00:17:45,414 --> 00:17:49,648
to have Lindsay stay home with the baby.
379
00:17:49,649 --> 00:17:51,514
It's just that that...
380
00:17:51,515 --> 00:17:53,314
That's my nest-egg.
381
00:17:53,315 --> 00:17:55,648
It's all I have in case
something should happen.
382
00:17:55,649 --> 00:17:58,248
I know. It's a tough call.
383
00:17:58,249 --> 00:18:00,448
And, believe me, if
there was any other way,
384
00:18:00,449 --> 00:18:05,116
but I really don't see that
we have any other options.
385
00:18:05,117 --> 00:18:07,216
We just came back from Bora Bora.
386
00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:09,349
- Yeah?
- Went there on our 50th.
387
00:18:09,350 --> 00:18:11,384
50th?
388
00:18:11,385 --> 00:18:13,417
Anniversary.
389
00:18:13,418 --> 00:18:15,083
Holy shit!
390
00:18:15,084 --> 00:18:17,317
Yeah! It amazes me too!
391
00:18:25,386 --> 00:18:27,919
I can't believe they've
been together for so long.
392
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,019
Well, that's why I
wanted you to meet them,
393
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:31,419
to see it's possible for two men
394
00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:33,452
to share a life together.
395
00:18:33,453 --> 00:18:36,986
It's what I'd like for us.
396
00:18:36,987 --> 00:18:39,054
Are you two planning to live together?
397
00:18:39,055 --> 00:18:40,487
Michael hasn't decided yet.
398
00:18:40,488 --> 00:18:43,555
But I'm hoping.
399
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:44,588
What's stopping you?
400
00:18:44,589 --> 00:18:47,055
I get nervous on cruises.
401
00:18:47,056 --> 00:18:49,454
I get seasick crossing
the Susquehanna, so...
402
00:18:49,455 --> 00:18:51,455
Listen, young man,
403
00:18:51,456 --> 00:18:53,556
living together ain't for sissies.
404
00:18:53,557 --> 00:18:55,322
Neither is growing old.
405
00:18:55,323 --> 00:18:56,923
And no matter what the problems,
406
00:18:56,924 --> 00:18:58,456
the sacrifices, it's worth it.
407
00:18:58,457 --> 00:19:02,990
Having someone beside you
who shares your life...
408
00:19:03,991 --> 00:19:06,158
And you are there to share his.
409
00:19:09,292 --> 00:19:11,257
- You sent him away?
- Look, I did him a favor,
410
00:19:11,258 --> 00:19:12,658
and this is how he repays me.
411
00:19:12,659 --> 00:19:14,358
He didn't do it on purpose.
412
00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:17,058
Would you please stop
making excuses for him?
413
00:19:17,059 --> 00:19:18,292
Sorry.
414
00:19:18,293 --> 00:19:20,425
Must be a force of habit.
415
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,959
Come on, honey.
416
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,960
Hey, where are you going?
417
00:19:24,961 --> 00:19:26,359
It's time for Gus's brunch.
418
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,860
I thought you were going
to help me with this list.
419
00:19:28,861 --> 00:19:31,127
Oh, yeah. There's one
valuable item that's missing
420
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,327
that can't be replaced.
421
00:19:42,035 --> 00:19:43,620
_
422
00:19:44,230 --> 00:19:46,462
You're such a big, dramatic queen.
423
00:19:46,463 --> 00:19:47,863
It's "drama queen,"
424
00:19:47,864 --> 00:19:49,362
and do you have a better idea?
425
00:19:49,363 --> 00:19:50,596
You could stay at my house.
426
00:19:50,597 --> 00:19:53,996
Yeah, I'm sure your
parents would love that.
427
00:19:53,997 --> 00:19:56,330
Well, what are you gonna do in New York?
428
00:19:56,331 --> 00:19:58,330
- Model?
- You're skinny enough.
429
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:00,464
You have, like, the
world's most-perfect hair.
430
00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:02,364
Or I could be a go-go boy.
431
00:20:02,365 --> 00:20:03,898
I've seen 'em at Babylon.
432
00:20:03,899 --> 00:20:06,098
I could make, like, 100 bucks a night.
433
00:20:06,099 --> 00:20:07,499
Maybe I could come with you.
434
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,532
- I can shake it up too!
- That'd be great.
435
00:20:09,533 --> 00:20:11,532
You and me!
436
00:20:11,533 --> 00:20:13,199
Except...
437
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,933
I have to be home by 11:00.
438
00:20:15,934 --> 00:20:19,100
Well... I'm going.
439
00:20:21,834 --> 00:20:24,967
Look at this.
440
00:20:24,968 --> 00:20:28,135
It's a confirmation
number. I charged a ticket.
441
00:20:28,136 --> 00:20:29,568
Since when do you have a credit card?
442
00:20:29,569 --> 00:20:31,435
I took Brian's.
443
00:20:31,436 --> 00:20:33,535
That's like a major felony or something.
444
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,435
You could go to jail for that.
445
00:20:35,436 --> 00:20:38,102
Least I'd have a place to live.
446
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,103
Besides, I'm gonna pay him back
447
00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:41,403
as soon as I get a job.
448
00:20:41,404 --> 00:20:43,169
I just gotta get out of here.
449
00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:45,970
Now.
450
00:20:45,971 --> 00:20:47,803
50 years?
451
00:20:47,804 --> 00:20:50,304
Poor suckers.
452
00:20:50,305 --> 00:20:52,337
Do you think they still do it?
453
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,971
At their age, it's not about sex.
454
00:20:54,972 --> 00:20:57,405
Yeah, it's about life support.
455
00:20:57,406 --> 00:20:58,406
You know, it just so
happens a person can have
456
00:20:58,407 --> 00:21:00,405
an active sex life at any age.
457
00:21:00,406 --> 00:21:02,939
Well, that means there's
still hope for you.
458
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,272
So when are you and the doc
459
00:21:04,273 --> 00:21:06,139
going to start massaging
each other's prostates?
460
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,539
Would you give him a break?
461
00:21:07,540 --> 00:21:09,507
He's having enough trouble deciding.
462
00:21:09,508 --> 00:21:12,807
Then why not consult Mysterious Marilyn?
463
00:21:12,808 --> 00:21:14,107
What'll it be, boys?
464
00:21:14,108 --> 00:21:16,540
Palms? Tarot? Spin around the ouija?
465
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:17,974
Only 20 bucks.
466
00:21:22,043 --> 00:21:24,275
All right.
467
00:21:24,276 --> 00:21:26,908
10, and not a peso more.
468
00:21:26,909 --> 00:21:29,075
Mysterious Marilyn senses
you're an accountant.
469
00:21:29,076 --> 00:21:30,509
Oh, she's good.
470
00:21:30,510 --> 00:21:34,777
You, the one with the boyfriend, sit.
471
00:21:34,778 --> 00:21:36,877
Put your digits on
the ouija, sweetheart.
472
00:21:38,511 --> 00:21:41,878
Ouija, what is his true love's name?
473
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:46,411
"B"...
474
00:21:46,412 --> 00:21:48,245
"R"...
475
00:21:48,246 --> 00:21:50,211
- "I"...
- Oh, this is too weird.
476
00:21:50,212 --> 00:21:51,879
That is not my boyfriend's name.
477
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,312
That wasn't the question.
478
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,879
And, frankly, he's a bad bet.
479
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:59,246
Now let's ask about your boyfriend.
480
00:21:59,247 --> 00:22:01,013
Hey!
481
00:22:01,014 --> 00:22:02,281
Justin's run away.
482
00:22:03,814 --> 00:22:06,080
- What are you talking about?
- He went to New York!
483
00:22:06,081 --> 00:22:08,113
- With your credit card.
- What?
484
00:22:08,114 --> 00:22:10,981
Um... He took your credit card.
485
00:22:10,982 --> 00:22:12,214
That little fuck!
486
00:22:12,215 --> 00:22:15,014
He's going to become
a go-go boy in Chelsea.
487
00:22:15,015 --> 00:22:16,815
And he's going to be very successful.
488
00:22:16,816 --> 00:22:18,481
How do you know?
489
00:22:18,482 --> 00:22:19,915
God writes the script, sweetie,
490
00:22:19,916 --> 00:22:22,216
I just say the lines.
491
00:22:24,383 --> 00:22:27,050
You better find him and bring him back.
492
00:22:27,051 --> 00:22:29,083
I see you on the Pennsylvania turnpike.
493
00:22:29,084 --> 00:22:30,250
Yeah, the fuck you do.
494
00:22:30,251 --> 00:22:31,251
And before you leave,
495
00:22:31,252 --> 00:22:33,550
be sure to check the air in your tires.
496
00:22:34,601 --> 00:22:36,801
This is all your fault.
497
00:22:36,802 --> 00:22:37,736
Ow!
498
00:22:37,737 --> 00:22:40,601
This is all your fault!
499
00:22:42,803 --> 00:22:44,602
Since when is he my responsibility?
500
00:22:44,603 --> 00:22:46,569
Since you took him home and fucked him!
501
00:22:46,570 --> 00:22:48,602
- Ma, please.
- Well, that's the truth.
502
00:22:48,603 --> 00:22:50,669
I mean, you've gotten away with a lot,
503
00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:52,670
more than you should, but not this time.
504
00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:54,203
Now, you're going to New York.
505
00:22:54,204 --> 00:22:55,270
The fuck I am.
506
00:22:55,271 --> 00:22:56,570
And you're bringing Sunshine home
507
00:22:56,571 --> 00:22:58,703
in exactly the condition
which you found him.
508
00:22:58,704 --> 00:23:00,237
Otherwise it's not his
parents or the police
509
00:23:00,238 --> 00:23:01,571
you're gonna answer to, honey.
510
00:23:01,572 --> 00:23:02,704
You're gonna answer to me.
511
00:23:02,705 --> 00:23:04,105
Why do you care?
512
00:23:04,106 --> 00:23:05,305
'Cause I couldn't live with myself
513
00:23:05,306 --> 00:23:06,571
if something happened to that kid.
514
00:23:06,572 --> 00:23:08,172
I love him like my son.
515
00:23:08,173 --> 00:23:09,971
Hell, you're all my sons.
516
00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:13,239
Thank you, Arthur Miller.
517
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,705
Look, I mean New York's
a pretty big place.
518
00:23:15,706 --> 00:23:17,139
How are we supposed to find him?
519
00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:18,873
Daphne said he'd be in Chelsea.
520
00:23:18,874 --> 00:23:21,940
I'm not going to New York.
521
00:23:21,941 --> 00:23:23,840
Look, I'll go with you.
522
00:23:23,841 --> 00:23:25,507
What about your work?
523
00:23:25,508 --> 00:23:26,874
I can miss a day.
524
00:23:26,875 --> 00:23:29,208
See? You never have to
ask this kid for anything.
525
00:23:29,209 --> 00:23:31,175
Well, as long as the backseat's empty,
526
00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:32,842
I guess I might as well be in it.
527
00:23:32,843 --> 00:23:34,275
Yeah, yeah! Count me in.
528
00:23:34,276 --> 00:23:36,075
Why do you guys want to go?
529
00:23:36,076 --> 00:23:37,675
"Wh... why"?
530
00:23:37,676 --> 00:23:39,942
Why?
531
00:23:39,943 --> 00:23:42,142
How can you even ask that?
532
00:23:42,143 --> 00:23:43,876
Brian, you're one of
our closest friends.
533
00:23:43,877 --> 00:23:45,243
I can't let you go off
on this perilous journey
534
00:23:45,244 --> 00:23:46,244
all on your own!
535
00:23:46,245 --> 00:23:48,577
We are gonna be with you all the way.
536
00:23:48,578 --> 00:23:50,977
I'm really touched.
537
00:23:50,978 --> 00:23:53,912
What's the real reason?
538
00:23:55,078 --> 00:23:57,478
Road trip! Road trip!
539
00:23:57,479 --> 00:24:00,180
Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!
540
00:24:02,079 --> 00:24:04,946
Well, it's... it's going
to be a bumpy night,
541
00:24:04,947 --> 00:24:06,546
so let's do a "bump" and, uh, stay up.
542
00:24:06,547 --> 00:24:09,146
Put that shit away.
543
00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:11,814
Don't worry. I've got
Valium to come down.
544
00:24:11,815 --> 00:24:14,480
If you're not careful,
you're going to get addicted.
545
00:24:14,481 --> 00:24:16,580
Please! I've been doing this for years.
546
00:24:19,115 --> 00:24:21,115
I don't know what clothes to take.
547
00:24:21,116 --> 00:24:23,148
Just, um, pack your
basic little black dress.
548
00:24:23,149 --> 00:24:26,715
Works for all occasions.
549
00:24:26,716 --> 00:24:28,615
Damn it. Where is it?
550
00:24:28,616 --> 00:24:29,682
What?
551
00:24:29,683 --> 00:24:31,116
The Broadway Album.
552
00:24:31,117 --> 00:24:33,116
Can't go to the Big
Apple without Barbra.
553
00:24:34,551 --> 00:24:36,483
Road trip! Road trip!
554
00:24:36,484 --> 00:24:38,716
Road trip! Road...
555
00:24:38,717 --> 00:24:39,750
Trip.
556
00:24:39,751 --> 00:24:41,950
I got your message.
557
00:24:41,951 --> 00:24:43,951
Well, you didn't have to
come all the way over here.
558
00:24:43,952 --> 00:24:45,951
Oh, of course I did.
559
00:24:45,952 --> 00:24:47,851
Now, what is this about
a trip to New York?
560
00:24:47,852 --> 00:24:49,151
In case we go clubbing, should I bring
561
00:24:49,152 --> 00:24:51,084
the black leather or the orange leather?
562
00:24:51,085 --> 00:24:52,785
David! Hi!
563
00:24:52,786 --> 00:24:53,586
Hi, Emmett.
564
00:24:53,587 --> 00:24:55,085
Well, hi.
565
00:24:55,086 --> 00:24:56,952
Um, hey! You should come with us.
566
00:24:56,953 --> 00:24:58,886
Because after spending
all night in Brian's Jeep,
567
00:24:58,887 --> 00:25:00,953
boy, we are all going to need...
568
00:25:00,954 --> 00:25:03,654
Adjustments.
569
00:25:06,421 --> 00:25:08,754
Justin ran away, so...
570
00:25:08,755 --> 00:25:10,821
You've decided to form a search party?
571
00:25:10,822 --> 00:25:13,121
Mm-hm. Emmett and Ted and me.
572
00:25:13,122 --> 00:25:14,154
And Brian.
573
00:25:14,155 --> 00:25:16,555
"The boys"!
574
00:25:16,556 --> 00:25:18,955
Weren't we supposed to go
to Melanie and Lindsay's?
575
00:25:18,956 --> 00:25:21,656
Oh, shit. I'm... I'm sorry. I forgot.
576
00:25:21,657 --> 00:25:23,556
Ah, don't worry about it.
577
00:25:23,557 --> 00:25:25,057
You do what you have to do.
578
00:25:27,691 --> 00:25:29,957
Thanks.
579
00:25:29,958 --> 00:25:33,657
And, uh, I want you to know,
580
00:25:33,658 --> 00:25:36,758
I've been thinking seriously...
581
00:25:36,759 --> 00:25:39,658
Very seriously, about...
582
00:25:39,659 --> 00:25:42,791
You know.
583
00:25:42,792 --> 00:25:44,659
Living together.
584
00:25:44,660 --> 00:25:46,059
Right.
585
00:25:46,060 --> 00:25:47,126
You have a safe trip.
586
00:25:47,127 --> 00:25:48,927
- Wear your seat belt.
- Okay.
587
00:25:50,827 --> 00:25:52,860
Buh-bye, Emmett.
588
00:25:52,861 --> 00:25:57,161
I know, it's going to be a bumpy night.
589
00:26:13,630 --> 00:26:14,729
♪ dah-dip, yeah ♪
590
00:26:14,730 --> 00:26:17,396
Would you please shut the fuck up?
591
00:26:17,397 --> 00:26:18,363
No, not you, ma'am.
592
00:26:18,364 --> 00:26:20,464
Stop being such a party poop!
593
00:26:20,465 --> 00:26:21,763
This is not a party.
594
00:26:21,764 --> 00:26:23,363
Still, a song and a snack
595
00:26:23,364 --> 00:26:25,465
can turn any moment into an occasion.
596
00:26:28,399 --> 00:26:30,631
So there haven't been any
more charges on my Visa
597
00:26:30,632 --> 00:26:33,431
except for the flight to New York?
598
00:26:33,432 --> 00:26:37,699
And you'll let me know if there are?
599
00:26:37,700 --> 00:26:39,499
All right, let's sing some Barbra.
600
00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:40,899
No, I can't do Barbra
601
00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:42,933
unless you've got the
lyrics on the monitor.
602
00:26:43,701 --> 00:26:45,767
- Reow!
- Bitch...
603
00:26:45,768 --> 00:26:49,067
If one of you starts to sing People...
604
00:26:49,068 --> 00:26:50,900
I will leave you on the side of the road
605
00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:52,067
without stopping.
606
00:26:52,068 --> 00:26:53,668
He's not kidding.
607
00:26:53,669 --> 00:26:56,334
All right, well, we've already
told all our big dick stories.
608
00:26:56,335 --> 00:26:57,835
Discussed anti-gay legislation.
609
00:26:57,836 --> 00:26:59,668
What we think of Bette's new series.
610
00:26:59,669 --> 00:27:01,968
And let's see, we've been on the road...
611
00:27:01,969 --> 00:27:03,669
Oh, 27 minutes.
612
00:27:03,670 --> 00:27:04,969
Only five hours left to kill.
613
00:27:04,970 --> 00:27:07,836
And if anyone can kill them, you can.
614
00:27:07,837 --> 00:27:10,369
Ha ha ha.
615
00:27:10,370 --> 00:27:13,436
God, we must be out of our
fucking minds to do this.
616
00:27:13,437 --> 00:27:15,504
You wouldn't be saying
that if we were going after
617
00:27:15,505 --> 00:27:16,804
the hottest guy in the world.
618
00:27:16,805 --> 00:27:20,337
Yeah, that's because
he'd be going after me.
619
00:27:20,338 --> 00:27:23,338
All right, so how do
we find little boy lost?
620
00:27:23,339 --> 00:27:25,071
Mysterious Marilyn
said he'd be in Chelsea.
621
00:27:25,072 --> 00:27:28,538
You don't really believe that shit?
622
00:27:28,539 --> 00:27:31,406
You know, Brian, sometimes
you have to put your faith
623
00:27:31,407 --> 00:27:32,673
in a higher power
624
00:27:32,674 --> 00:27:35,073
and trust that everything's
going to work out.
625
00:27:36,007 --> 00:27:36,807
Jesus!
626
00:27:42,475 --> 00:27:44,507
Running off to New York.
627
00:27:44,508 --> 00:27:47,274
There's an original excuse
to cancel at the last minute.
628
00:27:47,275 --> 00:27:49,374
It's probably a good
thing Michael's along.
629
00:27:49,375 --> 00:27:51,808
Just to make sure Brian
doesn't get distracted.
630
00:27:51,809 --> 00:27:53,775
If... if you'd rather I not stay...
631
00:27:53,776 --> 00:27:56,409
Don't be silly! So it'll
be just the three of us.
632
00:27:56,410 --> 00:27:57,943
Not exactly what I had planned.
633
00:27:57,944 --> 00:27:59,442
And we all know who to thank
634
00:27:59,443 --> 00:28:01,643
for things not working
out the way we planned.
635
00:28:01,644 --> 00:28:03,443
- Hon, would you check...
- On Gus? Yeah.
636
00:28:03,444 --> 00:28:05,710
- And if you could on...
- Check on dinner? No problem.
637
00:28:05,711 --> 00:28:06,977
David, would you like some wine?
638
00:28:06,978 --> 00:28:08,311
- Merlot? Or some...
- Chardonnay?
639
00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:10,578
- Uh, chardonnay.
- Ooh, and be sure to use the...
640
00:28:10,579 --> 00:28:13,578
Wine goblets your aunt Esther gave us.
641
00:28:13,579 --> 00:28:14,611
You two are amazing.
642
00:28:14,612 --> 00:28:15,845
We are?
643
00:28:15,846 --> 00:28:17,744
You're like synchronized swimmers.
644
00:28:17,745 --> 00:28:19,779
The way you think
together, move together,
645
00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:20,979
you even finish each other's sentences.
646
00:28:20,980 --> 00:28:22,645
Well, I guess that's what
happens after six years.
647
00:28:22,646 --> 00:28:24,645
- You just...
- Become one.
648
00:28:25,813 --> 00:28:27,913
I'd like that for Michael and me.
649
00:28:27,914 --> 00:28:30,413
- It'll happen.
- Oh, you two are a perfect fit.
650
00:28:30,414 --> 00:28:32,280
I don't know.
651
00:28:32,281 --> 00:28:35,581
I might have pushed too hard.
652
00:28:35,582 --> 00:28:37,547
That might be why he ran away.
653
00:28:37,548 --> 00:28:38,948
- Ah, he'll be back.
- Oh, and believe me,
654
00:28:38,949 --> 00:28:41,948
after a night with
Emmett, Ted, and Brian,
655
00:28:41,949 --> 00:28:44,515
you'll be looking damn good.
656
00:28:45,983 --> 00:28:46,950
Cheers to that.
657
00:28:46,951 --> 00:28:48,316
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
658
00:28:48,317 --> 00:28:49,816
Fuck!
659
00:28:49,817 --> 00:28:53,283
Mysterious Marilyn was right.
660
00:28:53,284 --> 00:28:55,417
Hooray for her.
661
00:28:55,418 --> 00:28:58,217
- So now what do we do?
- Well, I...
662
00:28:58,218 --> 00:29:01,251
Could always display
a well-turned ankle.
663
00:29:01,252 --> 00:29:02,617
Yeah, a lot of good that'll do us.
664
00:29:02,618 --> 00:29:05,251
Or...
665
00:29:05,252 --> 00:29:06,518
I can change a tire.
666
00:29:08,385 --> 00:29:09,918
You cannot change a tire.
667
00:29:09,919 --> 00:29:11,751
I know you all just think of me
668
00:29:11,752 --> 00:29:13,486
as this Nelly retail-queen,
669
00:29:13,487 --> 00:29:15,486
but it just so happens,
I make it my business
670
00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:16,919
to know anything that has to do
671
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:17,854
with lug nuts.
672
00:29:17,855 --> 00:29:19,286
Of course.
673
00:29:19,287 --> 00:29:22,253
Now, like any good magician,
674
00:29:22,254 --> 00:29:24,386
I'll need an assistant
from the audience.
675
00:29:24,387 --> 00:29:27,788
You! The lovely brunette
in the front row.
676
00:29:27,789 --> 00:29:29,489
Come with me.
677
00:29:31,755 --> 00:29:33,255
This...
678
00:29:38,823 --> 00:29:40,389
I only have one,
679
00:29:40,390 --> 00:29:41,890
for you and me.
680
00:29:46,324 --> 00:29:47,890
Excuse me.
681
00:29:47,891 --> 00:29:49,390
Okay.
682
00:29:56,725 --> 00:29:57,925
It's strong.
683
00:30:03,393 --> 00:30:05,227
Told you.
684
00:30:08,460 --> 00:30:10,726
So here we are.
685
00:30:10,727 --> 00:30:12,793
Brian and Mikey's Excellent Adventure.
686
00:30:14,194 --> 00:30:16,393
Here we go.
687
00:30:16,394 --> 00:30:18,894
Ah this sure isn't how I was
planning to spend my evening.
688
00:30:18,895 --> 00:30:20,794
Yeah? How did you think
you'd be spending it?
689
00:30:20,795 --> 00:30:25,495
Going with David to dinner
at Lindsay and Melanie's.
690
00:30:25,896 --> 00:30:27,295
Aww.
691
00:30:27,296 --> 00:30:29,195
Dinner parties.
692
00:30:29,196 --> 00:30:30,462
Couples!
693
00:30:30,463 --> 00:30:31,796
Christ, Mikey.
694
00:30:31,797 --> 00:30:33,796
Is this the life I raised you to live?
695
00:30:33,797 --> 00:30:35,662
Whatever happened to your sense of fun
696
00:30:35,663 --> 00:30:37,463
and your thirst for adventure?
697
00:30:37,464 --> 00:30:39,730
I'm here with you, aren't I?
698
00:30:39,731 --> 00:30:43,263
Stranded on the turnpike.
699
00:30:44,764 --> 00:30:46,764
You know, that's what I'm
going to miss the most.
700
00:30:46,765 --> 00:30:50,132
Times like this, when
it's just you and me.
701
00:30:53,433 --> 00:30:55,900
But now you have the doc.
702
00:30:58,167 --> 00:31:00,266
So how big is his dick, anyway?
703
00:31:00,267 --> 00:31:02,533
I'm not going to tell you!
704
00:31:02,534 --> 00:31:05,300
When he comes, does he run
to the shower or does he...
705
00:31:05,301 --> 00:31:07,267
Lay there and hold you tight,
706
00:31:07,268 --> 00:31:09,367
all wet and sticky?
707
00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:11,234
He lays there and holds me,
708
00:31:11,235 --> 00:31:14,168
all wet and sticky.
709
00:31:14,169 --> 00:31:16,768
I guess he does love you.
710
00:31:16,769 --> 00:31:19,769
I don't know. I guess.
711
00:31:22,403 --> 00:31:24,870
I'm glad you came with me.
712
00:31:24,871 --> 00:31:26,703
We've always been there for each other.
713
00:31:26,704 --> 00:31:28,669
You more than me.
714
00:31:28,670 --> 00:31:29,769
That's not true.
715
00:31:29,770 --> 00:31:31,370
Yeah, it is.
716
00:31:31,371 --> 00:31:33,737
I know I can be shitty to you sometimes.
717
00:31:33,738 --> 00:31:36,404
I know that.
718
00:31:36,405 --> 00:31:38,605
But it's only because I know
that you'll always love me,
719
00:31:38,606 --> 00:31:42,238
no matter what.
720
00:31:42,239 --> 00:31:43,371
I do.
721
00:31:46,406 --> 00:31:48,639
I do too.
722
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,639
Always have.
723
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:54,740
I always will.
724
00:31:54,741 --> 00:31:57,374
I don't know how I could
have made it without you.
725
00:32:10,142 --> 00:32:11,675
All right, ladies.
726
00:32:11,676 --> 00:32:13,776
We're ready to roll.
727
00:32:17,210 --> 00:32:19,376
Now!
728
00:32:19,377 --> 00:32:21,643
David's great, isn't he?
729
00:32:21,644 --> 00:32:24,377
Oh, Michael's damn lucky!
730
00:32:24,378 --> 00:32:26,211
Let's just hope he doesn't blow it.
731
00:32:28,245 --> 00:32:30,512
What's this?
732
00:32:32,279 --> 00:32:36,812
"This card entitles the
bearer to one year off.
733
00:32:38,113 --> 00:32:42,579
To take care of the world's
most beautiful baby."
734
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,546
I crunched the numbers.
735
00:32:44,547 --> 00:32:45,646
But how?
736
00:32:45,647 --> 00:32:48,347
It doesn't matter how.
737
00:32:48,348 --> 00:32:50,681
- I made it work.
- Ohh...
738
00:32:53,781 --> 00:32:55,414
I don't know what to say!
739
00:32:55,415 --> 00:32:58,115
You don't have to say anything.
740
00:33:12,251 --> 00:33:14,084
Mm.
741
00:33:29,419 --> 00:33:30,685
I'm sorry, I...
742
00:33:30,686 --> 00:33:32,286
No, it's okay, it's okay.
743
00:33:32,287 --> 00:33:34,553
- I have to.
- I know.
744
00:33:34,554 --> 00:33:36,253
I know.
745
00:34:09,591 --> 00:34:10,724
Oh, my God, have you ever seen
746
00:34:10,725 --> 00:34:12,525
so many cute boys in your life?
747
00:34:12,526 --> 00:34:14,491
Jeez, it's like a porn-star convention.
748
00:34:14,492 --> 00:34:16,958
You're supposed to
be looking for Justin.
749
00:34:16,959 --> 00:34:18,292
No, Ma, we haven't found him yet.
750
00:34:18,293 --> 00:34:20,259
- We'll keep looking.
- Okay.
751
00:34:20,260 --> 00:34:21,392
Okay, yeah. I need a break.
752
00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:22,559
What say we hit a homo bar?
753
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,526
All right, uh, how about "The Lure"?
754
00:34:25,527 --> 00:34:27,393
"Leather, uniform, rubber"?
755
00:34:27,394 --> 00:34:29,260
Nah. No rubber. I have
a problem with rubber.
756
00:34:29,261 --> 00:34:32,426
- It accentuates my hips.
- Fan-fucking-tastic.
757
00:34:32,427 --> 00:34:33,927
Good news?
758
00:34:33,928 --> 00:34:37,261
Someone's been using my credit card.
759
00:34:38,362 --> 00:34:40,327
I'll meet you guys back here in an hour.
760
00:34:50,430 --> 00:34:52,129
Seems to me we're headed
the wrong direction.
761
00:34:52,130 --> 00:34:53,162
Yeah! Something...
762
00:34:53,163 --> 00:34:54,396
I think something's telling me
763
00:34:54,397 --> 00:34:56,696
that this thing's in this direction.
764
00:35:17,467 --> 00:35:18,933
You wanna come in?
765
00:35:18,934 --> 00:35:20,367
Ah, why not?
766
00:35:20,368 --> 00:35:21,468
Since I'm paying for it.
767
00:35:24,668 --> 00:35:26,433
New York's amazing.
768
00:35:26,434 --> 00:35:28,934
I went clubbing last night
till 6:00 in the morning.
769
00:35:28,935 --> 00:35:31,234
And the guys, whew! The guys are...
770
00:35:31,235 --> 00:35:33,668
Did you really think you were
going to get away with this?
771
00:35:33,669 --> 00:35:35,202
I figured, sooner or later,
772
00:35:35,203 --> 00:35:37,369
someone would come and arrest me.
773
00:35:37,370 --> 00:35:41,536
But I was hoping that
you would find me first.
774
00:35:41,537 --> 00:35:45,036
Well, congratulations.
775
00:35:45,037 --> 00:35:47,637
Now pack your shit,
because we're going back.
776
00:35:47,638 --> 00:35:50,204
Back?
777
00:35:50,205 --> 00:35:51,637
Back to what?
778
00:35:51,638 --> 00:35:53,970
My parents don't want me.
779
00:35:53,971 --> 00:35:55,871
You... Don't want me.
780
00:35:55,872 --> 00:35:58,071
My life's a fucking mess, Brian.
781
00:35:58,072 --> 00:36:00,106
Yeah, well, whose isn't?
782
00:36:02,006 --> 00:36:04,238
But we're going to straighten that out.
783
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:05,372
First thing when we get back,
784
00:36:05,373 --> 00:36:06,505
we're going to find you a place to live.
785
00:36:06,506 --> 00:36:07,473
Why can't I live with you?
786
00:36:07,474 --> 00:36:09,139
Because my place is only big enough
787
00:36:09,140 --> 00:36:11,874
for one person... That's me.
788
00:36:17,441 --> 00:36:19,841
Now listen up.
789
00:36:19,842 --> 00:36:23,841
We're going back to glorious Pittsburgh,
790
00:36:23,842 --> 00:36:25,542
you're going back to school.
791
00:36:25,543 --> 00:36:27,241
You're going to turn 18,
792
00:36:27,242 --> 00:36:29,209
and you're going to pay back every cent
793
00:36:29,210 --> 00:36:31,543
you charged on my credit card.
794
00:36:31,544 --> 00:36:33,509
By the way,
795
00:36:33,510 --> 00:36:36,376
I didn't go out clubbing.
796
00:36:36,377 --> 00:36:40,176
I didn't even leave the room.
797
00:36:40,177 --> 00:36:43,343
Well, don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
798
00:36:43,344 --> 00:36:44,810
You look like shit.
799
00:36:44,811 --> 00:36:46,311
You should go take a shower.
800
00:36:46,312 --> 00:36:47,545
Yeah, probably should.
801
00:36:47,546 --> 00:36:49,244
I must stink.
802
00:36:49,245 --> 00:36:51,879
Yeah.
803
00:36:54,046 --> 00:36:56,813
Sounds like you had a rough night.
804
00:37:02,314 --> 00:37:04,347
You need help?
805
00:38:27,392 --> 00:38:30,191
Mmm.
806
00:39:11,463 --> 00:39:13,729
What do you mean he's staying here?
807
00:39:13,730 --> 00:39:15,863
I talked to his mom. She's all for it.
808
00:39:15,864 --> 00:39:17,230
Well, I'm not!
809
00:39:17,231 --> 00:39:19,430
Well, what do you care?
You're moving in with David.
810
00:39:19,431 --> 00:39:20,830
It's still my room.
811
00:39:20,831 --> 00:39:22,797
It's still got some of my things in it.
812
00:39:22,798 --> 00:39:25,364
Well, maybe you'd like to
move some of your things out.
813
00:39:25,365 --> 00:39:29,065
Sunshine's gonna need the closet space.
814
00:39:29,066 --> 00:39:31,832
This is all your fault.
Thanks a fucking lot.
815
00:39:31,833 --> 00:39:32,899
Wait a minute.
816
00:39:32,900 --> 00:39:34,933
Brian finally did something right.
817
00:39:34,934 --> 00:39:36,666
Why, Deb,
818
00:39:36,667 --> 00:39:39,099
that's the sweetest thing
you've ever said to me.
819
00:39:39,100 --> 00:39:41,233
- Don't press your luck.
- Don't worry.
820
00:39:41,234 --> 00:39:43,366
I promise I'll take care of it.
821
00:39:43,367 --> 00:39:48,200
You better, 'cause I'm going
to be doing unscheduled checks.
822
00:39:48,201 --> 00:39:50,101
And if anything's missing...
823
00:39:50,102 --> 00:39:51,968
Or damaged...
824
00:39:51,969 --> 00:39:54,368
Why don't you two boys run along
825
00:39:54,369 --> 00:39:56,669
and let me explain
the rules of the house
826
00:39:56,670 --> 00:39:59,303
to the newest member of our family?
827
00:39:59,304 --> 00:40:01,237
More rules?
828
00:40:05,337 --> 00:40:06,770
Starting with:
829
00:40:06,771 --> 00:40:10,404
No bringing tricks home after midnight.
830
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:20,238
Hey! The traveler returns!
831
00:40:28,407 --> 00:40:30,106
So how was New York?
832
00:40:30,107 --> 00:40:32,240
I... I really didn't
get to see much of it.
833
00:40:32,241 --> 00:40:34,040
Well, in a way, I'm glad.
834
00:40:34,041 --> 00:40:37,373
Gives me the chance to show you myself.
835
00:40:37,374 --> 00:40:39,674
Oh, so, um...
836
00:40:39,675 --> 00:40:44,075
- Can I, uh...
- Get me something to eat?
837
00:40:44,076 --> 00:40:47,108
You just finished my sentence.
838
00:40:47,109 --> 00:40:50,709
- I'm sorry.
- No, no. That's nice.
839
00:40:50,710 --> 00:40:52,077
- Nice.
- Oh.
840
00:40:55,810 --> 00:40:57,143
Go.
841
00:40:57,144 --> 00:40:59,843
I've been thinking a lot about...
842
00:40:59,844 --> 00:41:02,244
Moving in. Mm-hm.
843
00:41:02,245 --> 00:41:05,044
I was thinking about it
practically the entire time.
844
00:41:06,178 --> 00:41:08,778
And?
845
00:41:08,779 --> 00:41:11,811
And...
846
00:41:11,812 --> 00:41:16,279
I love you.
847
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,213
I really do.
848
00:41:22,581 --> 00:41:23,714
But...
849
00:41:28,682 --> 00:41:31,647
The answer is no?
850
00:41:31,648 --> 00:41:34,981
I'm just not ready.
851
00:41:34,982 --> 00:41:37,315
Oh, I... I understand.
852
00:41:37,316 --> 00:41:40,915
You do?
853
00:41:40,916 --> 00:41:44,950
All the excitement
and the adventure of...
854
00:41:44,951 --> 00:41:46,749
Taking off in the middle of the night
855
00:41:46,750 --> 00:41:50,083
with your friends to New York.
856
00:41:50,084 --> 00:41:52,684
Being with Brian.
857
00:41:52,685 --> 00:41:54,951
The memories. The history.
858
00:41:54,952 --> 00:41:58,951
I can't compete with that.
859
00:41:58,952 --> 00:42:01,885
No, all I have to offer is me.
860
00:42:01,886 --> 00:42:04,052
Us.
861
00:42:04,053 --> 00:42:06,053
This home.
862
00:42:10,587 --> 00:42:15,186
Can't we still be boyfriends?
863
00:42:15,187 --> 00:42:17,720
We could be.
864
00:42:17,721 --> 00:42:19,188
We...
865
00:42:22,755 --> 00:42:27,555
But I... I don't want
a boyfriend, Michael.
866
00:42:27,556 --> 00:42:30,656
I want a partner.
867
00:43:07,961 --> 00:43:09,627
Morning, beautiful.
868
00:43:09,628 --> 00:43:14,061
I didn't want to wake you. Come on in.
869
00:43:15,162 --> 00:43:16,561
So what are we going to do
870
00:43:16,562 --> 00:43:18,995
on this beautiful Sunday morning?
871
00:43:18,996 --> 00:43:21,728
Well, thought we'd make breakfast,
872
00:43:21,729 --> 00:43:23,995
and then we'd read the paper,
873
00:43:23,996 --> 00:43:28,163
and then we'd spend the
rest of the day in bed.
874
00:43:28,164 --> 00:43:30,030
Ah.
875
00:43:37,664 --> 00:43:39,932
Just what I had in mind.
876
00:43:44,826 --> 00:43:49,826
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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