Original subtitles

>> Dicky: FROM HOLLYWOOD, IT'S "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE"! TONIGHT ‐‐

TARON EGERTON, SENATOR AMY KLOBUCHAR,

AND MUSIC FROM THE SPECIALS. AND NOW, SUDDENLY,

JIMMY KIMMEL!

♪

>> Jimmy: WELCOME, THANK YOU. HI, I'M JIMMY.

I'M THE MOST OF THE SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING, THANK

YOU FOR COMING. SIT, PLEASE. I APPRECIATE THAT.

WE ARE BACK TO WORK AFTER WE HAD AN EXTRA DAY OFF OF WORK FOR

MEMORIAL DAY. THIS IS A BIG TRAVEL WEEKEND,

AND YOU CAN REALLY SEE WHY WHEN YOU TRAVEL.

THERE'S NO BETTER WAY TO KICK OFF SUMMER THAN BY LISTENING TO

YOUR KIDS FIGHTING OVER AN iPAD IN THE BACK SEAT IN A CAR THAT

SMELLS LIKE GOGURT.

THE PRESIDENT IS BACK FROM JAPAN.

A FEW YEARS BACK WHEN HE WAS NOT PRESIDENT, HE TWEETED, DOES

PRESIDENT OBAMA EVER DISCUSS THE SNEAK ATTACK ON PEARL HARBOR

WHILE HE'S IN JAPAN? THOUSANDS OF AMERICAN LIVES LOST.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, TRUMP OPTED NOT TO BRING IT UP EITHER WHILE HE

WAS THERE. INSTEAD, HE WENT TO SEE OBESE

MEN FIGHT IN DIAPERS. THE PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY

WENT TO A SUMO WRESTLING EVENT AT THE INVITATION OF THE

JAPANESE PRIME MINISTER. AS YOU CAN SEE IN THE

BACKGROUND, THEY HAD THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES.

THEY REALLY ATE IT UP. TRUMP LOVED, HE LOVED THE SUMO

SO MUCH HE'S PLANNING TO MAKE CHRIS CHRISTIE AND BILL BARR

ROLL AROUND IN THE OVAL OFFICE IN UNDERPANTS BACK HOME.

AT THE END OF THE MATCH, TRUMP ENTERED THE DOHYO WHERE HE

PRESENTED THE WINNER WITH THIS UNDERSTATED, ELEGANT TROPHY.

HE CALLS THIS THE UNITED STATES PRESIDENT'S CUP.

THIS IS A TROPHY HE CAME UP WITH, AND HE POINTED OUT, HE

PAID FOR HIMSELF. THEN THE TRUMPS HAD DINNER WITH

PRIME MINISTER ABE AND HIS WIFE AT AN ROBATIAKI RESTAURANT, THEY

COOK THE MEAT OVER A LITTLE FIRE IN FRONT OF YOUR TABLE.

>> I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU. THAT WAS AN INCREDIBLE EVENING

AT SUMO, SUMO WRESTLING, A VERY ANSHENS SPORT.

SO IT WAS REALLY GREAT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING

HERE.

>> Jimmy: IT'S A DANGEROUS MOVE FOR SOMEONE WHO USES THAT MUCH

HAIR SPRAY. ABE TOOK TRUMP TO PLAY GOLF.

THEY HAD CHEESEBURGERS TOGETHER. IT WAS LIKE A DIVORCED DAD

SPENDING THE WEEKEND WITH HIS TEENAGED SON.

MEANWHILE, KIM JONG UN DID HIS BEST TO SPOIL THE VISIT BY

TESTING BALLISTIC MISSILES EARLIER THIS MONTH OVER THE SEA

OF JAPAN. AND THE NORTH KOREANS ARE ALSO

LASHING OUT ADD JOE BIDEN. THEY CALLED HIM A FOOL OF LOW IQ.

AND OF COURSE OUR PRESIDENT WAS OFFENDED BY ‐‐ OH, NO, HE ATE IT

UP LIKE A BUCKET OF EXTRA CRISPY CHICKEN.

HE TWEETED, NORTH KOREA FIRED UP SOME SMALL WEAPONS WHICH

DISTURBED SOME OF MY PEOPLE AND OTHERS, BUT NOT ME.

I HAVE CONFIDENCE HE WILL KEEP HIS PROMISE TO ME, AND ALSO

SMILED WHEN HE CALLED JOE BIDEN LOW IQ.

THE SIGNAL IS HE KNOWS HOW TO SPELL BIDEN, AND YOU DON'T.

SO THEN ‐‐

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

KEEP IN MIND HE'S IN JAPAN. EVERYONE WENT NUTS OVER THE FACT

THAT HE WOULD SIDE WITH A MURDEROUS DICTATOR OVER A FORMER

AMERICAN VICE PRESIDENT. HE DEFENDED HIMSELF, SAYING I

WAS STICKING UP FOR SLEEPY JOE BIDEN WHILE ON FOREIGN SOIL.

KIM JONG UN CALLED HIM A LOW IQ

IDIOT AND MANY OTHER THINGS

WHILE I CALLED HIM A LOW IQ INDIVIDUAL.

WHO COULD BE UPSET WITH THAT? IT'S COMPLETELY INSANE.

MEANWHILE, WE HAVE MORE SHENANIGANS WHEN IT COMES TO

CLIMATE CHANGE. THE WHITE HOUSE WANTS TO LIMIT

STUDIES EVEN GLOBAL WARMING BEYOND 20 YEARS.

SO THEY WOULD ONLY BE ALLOWED TO MAKE PROJECTIONS UP TO 2040 AND

NOT BEYOND. BASICALLY, TRUMP'S THE EXECUTIVE

AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERY JURASSIC PARK MOVIE.

I THINK HIS ATTITUDE IS I'M NOT GOING TO BE HERE IN 21 YEARS,

THAT'S DON JR. AND ERIC'S PROBLEM.

IT'S ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS, IT'S OUR CHILDREN'S PROBLEM.

AND IF THE WORLD BECOMES A HELLISH NIGHTMARE 20 YEARS FROM

NOW, I WON'T EVER BE ABLE TO REALIZE MY DREAM OF BECOMING A

SEMI‐RETIRED PRODUCT ENDORSER LIKE THIS.

>> THE FOLLOWING MESSAGES IS ADVERTISING TARGETED AT OLD

PEOPLE.

>> Jimmy: AT MY AGE, TAKING A PATH CAN BE A DANGEROUS GAME.

THE SLIPPING, SLIDING. WHO NEEDS IT.

WHY RISK YOUR VERY FRAGILE BODY GETTING IN THE TUB WHEN THE TUB

CAN COME TO YOU. BATHTUB PANTS. PANTS THAT ARE A BATHTUB.

MADE WITH 100% RUBBER. THE SAME MATERIAL USED TO MAKE

YOGA BALLS. SOUND TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?

JUST LISTEN TO THESE SATISFIED BATHERS.

>> I CAN TAKE A BUBBLE BATH AND GOLF AT THE SAME TIME.

THANKS TO MY BATHTUB PANTS, I

CAN TAKE A BATH AND PLAY WITH MY

GRANDKIDS AT THE SAME TIME.

>> YUCK!

>> I WEAR BATHTUB PANTS, BECAUSE THERE'S NO SAFER BATH THAN THE

ONE IN YOUR PANTS.

>> CALL 1‐ 800‐PANTS BATH TO

ORDER NOW.

>> Jimmy: WE HAVE A SPECIAL SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

LITERALLY, WE HAVE MUSIC TONIGHT

FROM THE SPECIALS.

TARON EGERTON. HE PLAYS ELTON JOHN.

AND FROM THE STATE OF MINNESOTA, ONE OF THE MANY PEOPLE RUNNING

FOR PRESIDENT, SENATOR AMY KLOBUCHAR.

THERE ARE A LOT OF DEMOCRATS IN THE RACE RIGHT NOW.

AND WE'LL HEAR MORE ABOUT THEM OVER THE COMING YEAR, SO WE'VE

COME UP WITH A SONG TO HELP YOU REMEMBER THEIR NAMES.

CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME MUSIC PLEASE?

♪ BOOKER SANDERS WARREN GABBARD

DELANEY OR KLOBUCHAR BIDEN ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NOW THAT YOU KNOW THE WORDS, SING ALONG WITH ME. HERE WE GO

♪ BOOKER SANDERS WARREN HARRIS

NAS AM BENNETT ENSLY.

HICKENLOOPER GABBARD CASTRO GILLIBRAND DE BLASIO SWALWELL

MOULTON GRAVEL ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE REHEARSED THAT, BUT YOU KNOW.

THIS IS THE KIND OF FIGHTER THE DEMOCRATS COULD REALLY USE IN

THIS RACE. IT'S A FEISTY METEOROLOGIST WHO

WORKS AT OUR LOCAL ABC AFFILIATE IN DAYTON, OHIO.

LAST NIGHT THERE WAS A VERY SERIOUS TORNADO WARNING IN

DAYTON, OHIO. I THINK THE TORNADO'S LIKE TEN

MILES TALL. NATURALLY, THEY BROKE IN LIVE TO

WARN THEIR VIEWERS. UNFORTUNATELY, THEY BROKE IN

DURING THE BACHELORETTE, WHICH RESULTED IN SOME ANGRY FEEDBACK

FROM FANS OF HANNAH B, WHO

TORNADO OR NOT, DID NOT WANT HER INTERRUPTED.

>> WE HAVE VIEWERS COMPLAINING ALREADY.

JUST GO BACK TO THE SHOW. NO, WE'RE NOT GOING BACK TO THE

SHOW, FOLKS, THIS IS A DANGEROUS SITUATION.

THINK ABOUT THIS IF THIS WAS YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS.

OUR JOB HERE IS TO KEEP PEOPLE SAFE.

THAT IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO. SOME OF YOU COMPLAIN THIS IS ALL

ABOUT MY EGO. STOP, JUST STOP RIGHT NOW.

IT'S NOT. I'M DONE WITH YOU PEOPLE, I

REALLY AM. THIS IS PATHETIC.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jimmy: HE'S THERE FOR THE RIGHT REASON.

THE WEATHERMAN BECOMES THE STORM!

THERE'S ANOTHER THING WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT.

THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION HAS ADDED A NEW DISEASE TO THEIR

LONG LIST OF THEM CALLED GAMING DISORDER.

IT'S AN ADDICTION TO VIDEO GAMES. ACCORDING TO THE W. H. O., IT'S

MARKED BY A PATTERN OF

PERSISTENT REPEATED GAMING BEHAVIOR.

AND CONTINUATION OR ESCALATION OF GAMING DESPITE THE OCCURRENCE

OF NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES.

THAT'S GAMING DISORDER, A‐

A‐K‐A GDVD. IN MY DAY, PLAYING VIDEO GAMES

FOR 20 HOURS STRAIGHT WASN'T A DISORDER. IT WAS CALLED COLLEGE.

IT WAS WHAT SEPARATED THE PAC BOYS FROM THE PAC MEN.

NOW I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE TO START KNOCK LATING CHILDREN

AGAINST FORTNIGHT. WHEN I WAS A KID YOU LEARN IN

SCHOOL HOW TO TELL TIME. THEY'D HAVE THE THING WITH ALL

THE CLOCKS AND YOU HAD TO WRITE IN THE TIME.

NOW WE ALL HAVE PHONES AND WE LOOK AT IT AND KNOW.

AND IT MADE ME WONDER IF YOUNG PEOPLE EVEN KNOW HOW TO READ AN

OLD‐TIME CLOCK ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, THE ROUND THINGS WITH

THE HANDS? SO ANYWAY, WE WENT OUT ON THE

STREET AND ASKED PEOPLE TO TELL US WHAT TIME IT IS, USING AN

ANALOG CLOCK, AND IT'S TIME TO FIND OUT HOW THEY DID IN

TONIGHT'S EDITION OF "CAN YOU DO IT."

>> CAN YOU DO IT!

>> I GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU.

>> SURE.

>> CAN YOU LOOK AT THIS AND TELL ME WHAT TIME IT IS?

>> OH, NO. NO.

I CAN'T.

>> IT IS FOUR, LIKE 37.

>> IT'S TWO ‐‐ I WANT TO SAY, NO, NOT 45.

>> CHRIS, LET ME ASK YOU THIS. WHERE DO YOU GO TO COLLEGE?

>> UC ARLINGTON.

>> YOU WANT TO SAY ANYTHING TO YOUR TEACHERS IN COLLEGE?

>> NO. BECAUSE THEY WILL BE DISAPPOINTED THAT I HAVE NOT

READ A CLOCK LIKE THIS SINCE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

>> OH, MAN, IT IS 8:10? 8:17. NO?

>> A. M. OR P. M.?

>> LAST WE CHECKED, HE'S STILL OUT THERE.

WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW, MUSIC FROM THE SPECIALS.

SENATOR AMY KLOBUCHAR. AND WE'LL BE BACK

♪

>> Jimmy: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW.

TONIGHT, SHE IS A SENATOR FROM

MINNESOTA, AND SHE'S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT TOO.

SENATOR AMY KLOBUCHAR IS HERE. THEN THEIR LATEST ALBUM IS

CALLED "ENCORE." THE SPECIALS FROM THE

MERCEDES‐BENZ OUTDOOR STAGE. YOU CAN SEE THE SPECIALS LIVE

SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE NOVO THEATER.

AND TOMORROW IS THE SPECIALS DAY HERE IN LOS ANGELES.

BY ORDER OF THE CITY COUNCIL. THEY HAVE A DAY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S A SPECIAL DAY. DICKEY, DO THE MIGHTY, MIGHTY

BOSS TONES HAVE A DAY?

>> Dicky: IN BOSTON THEY DO. JUST IN BOSTON.

>> Jimmy: JUST IN BOSTON.

>> Dicky: DOWNTOWN BOSTON, ON ONE STREET.

>> Jimmy: LATER THIS WEEK, WE HAVE NEW SHOWS WITH

ZACH GALIFIANAKIS, SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE NANCY PELOSI, MUSIC

FROM ALESSIA CARA. AND ON THURSDAY NIGHT WE ARE IN

PRIMETIME FOR GAME 1 OF THE NBA FINALS WITH JENNIFER ANISTON AND

ADAM SANDLER AND AN ALL‐NBA EDITION OF "MEAN TWEETS."

THAT'S THURSDAY AT 8/7 CENTRAL AND AFTER THE GAME ON THE WEST

COAST, HERE ON ABC. NOT SINCE A YOUNG

DANIEL RADCLIFFE IN "HARRY POTTER" HAS A BRITISH ACTOR HAD

SUCH A BIG PAIR OF EYEGLASSES AS TO FILL AS OUR FIRST GUEST DOES.

STARTING FRIDAY, YOU CAN SEE AND HEAR HIM AS THE GREAT ELTON JOHN

IN "ROCKETMAN." PLEASE SAY HELLO TO

TARON EGERTON.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪

>> Jimmy: HOW ARE YOU?

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jimmy: WERE YOU BALD LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE.

>> LAST TIME I WAS BALD, NOW I'M NOT. THAT WAS JUST AFTER WE'D

FINISHED FILMING "ROCKETMAN." AND WE DYED IT ORANGE, THINNED

MY HAIRLINE OUT AND IT GREW BACK.

>> Jimmy: WERE YOU EVER WORRIED IT MIGHT NOT GROW BACK?

>> EVERY SINGLE DAY.

>> Jimmy: I WORRY ABOUT THAT SOMETIMES.

IF I SHAVE MY HEAD, MAYBE IT WON'T COME BACK AND THAT WOULD

BE IT.

>> THE ANXIETY IS MASSIVE.

>> Jimmy: I THOUGHT YOU WERE TERRIFIC IN THE MOVIE.

>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jimmy: I WAS WONDERING AFTER PRESIDENT TRUMP CALLED KIM JONG

UN ROCKET MAN.

>> YEAH.

>> Jimmy: DID ANYBODY SAY HEY, DO WE NEED TO RETHINK THE TITLE?

>> NO. IT CROSSED MY MIND.

>> Jimmy: IT DID?

>> THE ONLY OTHER THING I THOUGHT IT COULD HAVE BEEN WAS

"I'M STILL STANDING."

>> Jimmy: YEAH, OR "TINY DANCER."

>> ANY OF THE ABOVE.

>> Jimmy: YOU WERE RUNNING OVER ALTERNATE TITLES, BUT NOBODY

ELSE WAS.

>> YEAH.

>> Jimmy: DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS ANOTHER MOVIE CALLED "ROCKET

MAN"?

>> REALLY?

>> Jimmy: THIS IS A REAL MOVIE FROM 1997, STARRING HARLAN

WILLIAMS.

>> THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I LOOK IN ROCKET MAN.

>> Jimmy: IN THIS ONE, I DID NOT SEE THIS FILM, BUT IT WOULD SEEM

THAT HE DIED IN SPACE.

>> YEAH.

>> Jimmy: NOT QUITE THE FUN OF THE MOVIE THAT YOU MADE.

>> NO.

>> Jimmy: THERE YOU GO. YOU SAW THE PREMIERE WITH ELTON

JOHN.

>> I DID, YEAH.

>> Jimmy: WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?

>> WE HAD THIS INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE.

WE PREMIERED THE MOVIE AT CANNES. AND I'D NEVER BEEN TO CANNES.

>> Jimmy: NONE OF US HAVE.

>> GOOD. WE'VE GOT SOMETHING IN COMMON

ALREADY. THIS IS GOING TO GO VERY WELL.

BUT APPARENTLY, I'VE BEEN LED TO BELIEVE THEY CAN BE A LITTLE

COLD IF THEY DON'T APPROVE. AND I'VE EVEN HEARD RUMORS THAT

THEY CAN BOO.

>> Jimmy: YEAH, THEY DO BOO SOMETIMES.

>> SO I WAS UNDERSTANDABLY QUITE NERVOUS GOING IN, AND I FOUND

OUT, I WASN'T SITTING NEXT TO ELTON.

AND THEN THE LOVELY PEOPLE FROM THE MARKETING DEPARTMENT SAID

WELL, HE'S GOING TO SIT BETWEEN HIS FRIEND OF 50 YEARS AND HIS

HUSBAND, AND I WAS LIKE, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

>> Jimmy: YOU'RE HIM. YOU'RE EVEN CLOSER TO HIM THAN

THEM.

>> SO I SAT HERE, ELTON JOHN, DAVID FURNISH.

AND WE WATCH THE WHOLE MOVIE, THIS KIND OF ANGLE, YOU KNOW, TO

TRY AND ASCERTAIN IF THEY APPROVED.

>> Jimmy: HAD HE NOT SEEN ANYTHING BEFORE?

>> HE'D SEEN BITS, RUSHES, DAILY, AND THE TRAILER, SEVERAL

MILLION TIMES.

>> Jimmy: NOT THE WHOLE MOVIE.

>> NOT THE WHOLE MOVIE. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I'D SEEP

IT WITH ALL THE FINISHED EFFECTS AND EVERYTHING.

AND TO SEE THEM WATCH THE SCENE IN WHICH THEY MEET IN 1968 OR

WHATEVER AND BE GRABBING EACH OTHER.

>> Jimmy: BERNIE?

>> BERNIE AND ELTON. AND AT THE END OF THE MOVIE,

ELTON, ABOUT 50 MINUTES BEFORE THE END, ELTON ABSOLUTELY BROKE

DOWN. HE WAS BLUBBERING. SO THE LIGHTS COME UP.

AND I'M VERY MOVED BECAUSE ELTON IS MOVED.

BUT ELTON, BECAUSE HE'S AN OLD PRO HAS MANAGED TO GET HIMSELF

LOOKING IMMACULATE AGAIN, WHEREAS I'M JUST MELTING WITH

ALL THESE CAMERAS ON ME. BUT IT WAS AMAZING.

I WAS VISUALIZING SCENARIOS IN WHICH WE'D GET BOOED.

AND WE RECEIVED A FOUR‐MINUTE STANDING OVATION.

>> Jimmy: YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jimmy: AND THE REVIEWS HAVE BEEN GREAT, TOO.

DO YOU LOOK AT THAT STORTS OF THING?

>> I TRY TO AVOID REVIEWS, BUT ELTON SENDS ME THEM EVERY DAY.

>> Jimmy: HE DOES?

>> HE'S SORT OF VETTING MY REVIEWS.

I'M SURE THERE ARE BAD ONES HE'S NOT SENDING.

>> Jimmy: HE E‐MAILS YOU?

>> HE E‐MAILS ME AND WITH THE SAME TITLE EVERY TIME.

"AND ANOTHER ONE".

>> Jimmy: IS THERE A WORD FROM ONE OF HIS SONGS?

>> NO.

>> Jimmy: IS IT ANYTHING FUN?

>> NO, IT'S QUITE PEDESTRIAN. LIKE I'M TREADING IN DANGEROUS.

>> Jimmy: PEOPLE WIPEND UP GETTG INTO HIS BANK ACCOUNT AND YOU'RE

IN TROUBLE. IT'S AN AUTO BIOGRAPHY OR A

BIOGRAPHY OF ELTON. OF COURSE BECAUSE IT IS, THERE

ARE A LOT SEX AND DRUGS.

>> THERE'S A BIT OF THAT, YEAH. THERE'S A BIT OF THAT.

>> Jimmy: IS THAT COOL WITH LIKE YOUR FAMILY?

IS THERE ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY THAT'S ‐‐

>> YEAH, ACTUALLY, MY UNCLE.

>> Jimmy: IT'S ALWAYS AN UNCLE.

>> ISN'T IT ALWAYS AN UNCLE OF WEDDINGS AND THINGS?

HE'S AN OLDER WELSH GENTLEMAN, QUITE TRADITIONAL.

IN NO WAY PREJUDICED BUT QUITE TRADITIONAL. CAN I SWEAR?

>> Jimmy: WE'D LOVE IT IF YOU DID.

>> VERY SILENT DURING MINE AND RICHARD MADDEN'S LOVE SCENE,

APART FROM [ BLEEP ] REALLY LOUDLY. WHICH I RATHER ENJOYED. .

>> Jimmy: YOUR OTHER RELATIVES REPORTED THIS TO YOU?

>> YEAH, THEY DID, MY AUNT DID. SHE TEXTED ME IMMEDIATELY.

>> Jimmy: ONE QUESTION THE MOVIE DOES NOT ANSWER, WHAT THE HELL

DOES "BENNY AND THE JETS" MEAN? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?

>> I HAVE NO IDEA, AND I NEVER ASKED BERNIE.

WE TAKE THE SONGS AND USE THEM TO TELL THE STORY.

"BENNY AND THE JETS" IS ALL ABOUT EXCESS AND DARKNESS AND

SORT OF ANGER AND FRUSTRATION.

>> Jimmy: WHEN WE COME BACK WE'RE GOING TO SEE A CLIP FROM

THE MOVIE. WHEN YOU SEE IT, TARON IS

ACTUALLY SINGING. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Dicky: PORTIONS OF JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE ARE BROUGHT TO YOU

BY APPLEBEE'S NEW LOADED FAJITAS.

♪

♪ AND I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE A

LONG LONG TIME ♪

♪ TOUCHDOWN BRINGS ME AROUND TO

FIND ♪

♪ I'M NOT THE MAN YOU THINK I AM

AT HOME ♪

♪ OH, NO, NO, NO, NO

♪ I'M A ROCKET MAN

♪ ROCKET MAN

♪

♪ AND I THINK IT'S GOING TO BE A

LONG LONG TIME ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jimmy: THAT IS TARON EGERTON IN "ROCKET MAN".

I REMEMBER THAT SO WELL WHEN ELTON JOHN SANG AT DODGER

STADIUM. I DON'T KNOW THAT ANYBODY HAD

DONE THAT BEFORE. NICE HIT BY THE WAY.

>> ME HITTING THE BASEBALL. I SAID TO THE DIRECTOR, LET'S

JUST DO IT BECAUSE I'M GOING TO MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF.

I HIT THAT THING EVERY TIME.

>> Jimmy: REALLY?

>> EVERY TIME.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jimmy: HAD YOU EVER PLAYED BASEBALL BEFORE?

>> NEVER PLAYED BASEBALL BEFORE. AND I TRIED TO DO IT AGAIN

AFTERWARDS, AND I MISSED IT EVERY TIME.

I MUST HAVE JUST BEEN CHANNELING THE BIG MAN.

>> Jimmy: YOU'RE THINKING THE SINGING IS WHAT I HAVE TO NAIL

AND SOMEBODY GIVES YOU A BASEBALL.

>> SOMEBODY GIVES ME A BASEBALL BAT.

>> Jimmy: HOW ABOUT THE SINGING? YOU DID ALL YOUR OWN SINGING.

>> I DID.

>> Jimmy: YOU DID A GREAT JOB WITH THAT.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jimmy: WHAT IS THE HARDEST ELTON JOHN SONG TO SING?

>> I DON'T KNOW. ELTON SAID AT THE START OF THE

PROCESS, YOU'RE BALLAD SINGER, YOU CAN HOLD THE TUNE.

THE FASTER SONGS WILL BE THE CHALLENGE. I WAS DREADFUL AT IT.

ONE OF THE LAST THINGS WE RECORDED, ABOUT FOUR OR FIVE

MONTHS INTO THE PROCESS WAS "PINBALL WIZARD", AND I E‐MAILED

HIM A ROUGH MIX AFTER A FEW DRINKS TO SEE WHAT HE THOUGHT.

AND I JUST WROTE BACK YOU'VE GOT IT NOW.

AND THAT WAS VERY LOVELY.

>> Jimmy: WHEN YOU SAY YOU WERE DREADFUL, DID OTHERS AGREE YOU

WERE DREADFUL?

>> NO, BUT YOU KNOW EVERYONE'S BEING NICE AND YOU CAN TELL.

>> Jimmy: CAN YOU TELL WHEN THEY'RE BEING NICE.

ELTON INCLUDED?

>> HE'S VERY SUPPORTIVE. HE'S NOT ALWAYS NICE, BUT HE'S

VERY SUPPORTIVE. HE'S THE BEST.

>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU BECOME LIKE, YOU THINK YOU WILL HAVE A

LIFE‐LONG FRIENDSHIP WITH ELTON JOHN NOW?

>> OH, IT SOUNDS SO WEIRD TO SAY, I LOVE HIM.

AND HE, YOU KNOW, HE WROTE ME A VERY BEAUTIFUL NOTE ON THE DAY

OF THE CANNES PREMIERE. AND HE SAID WE'RE CUT FROM THE

SAME CLOTH, AND I HOPE I'M HERE FOR MANY YEARS TO COME TO BE

YOUR TOUCHSTONE.

>> Jimmy: THAT'S VERY SWEET. DO YOU, HAVE YOU BEEN TO HIS

HOUSE?

>> I HAVE.

>> Jimmy: YOU HAVE.

>> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

>> Jimmy: WHAT'S HIS HOUSE LIKE?

>> IT'S BIG.

>> Jimmy: MORE THAN THREE BEDROOMS?

>> I THINK SO, YES.

>> Jimmy: I IMAGINED IT, YEAH.

>> THE GUEST ROOM I STAYED IN IS KNOWN AS THE CAT ROOM.

AND IT'S FULL OF ORNAMENTAL CATS.

>> Jimmy: ORNAMENTAL.

>> WHICH FOR SOME PEOPLE IS VERY NICE.

FOR SOME PEOPLE IT WOULDN'T BE WHAT YOU WOULD WANT.

IT SMELLS FANTASTIC.

>> Jimmy: IT DOES NOT SMELL LIKE CATS?

>> IT DOES NOT SMELL LIKE CATS. THAT'S THE PUTY BEAUTY OF THE

ORNAMENTAL ONES.

>> Jimmy: IS THERE A HUGE PIANO?

>> THERE'S A HUGE PIANO BUT YOU CAN'T PLAY IT BECAUSE IT'S

COVERED IN THINGS LIKE ORNAMENTAL CATS.

>> Jimmy: WHAT?

>> I THINK HE PLAYS SO MUCH ON THE ROAD THAT WHEN HE'S HOME HE

WANTS TO BE DAD. AND DO THE FAMILY THING.

>> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK HE'S TAKEN THAT MUCH OF A SHINE TO

YOU THAT HE'S PUT YOU IN THE WILL, GIVEN YOU A FEW ORNAMENTAL

CATS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> I MIGHT GET A DOORMAT OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> Jimmy: I WOULD HOPE SO. GREAT JOB IN THE MOVIE.

IT'S CALLED "ROCKET MAN." IT OPENS IN THEATERS FRIDAY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SENATOR KLOBUCHAR.

♪

>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. WELCOME BACK.

THE SPECIALS ARE ON THE WAY. OUR NEXT GUEST IS A

UNITED STATES SENATOR FROM MINNESOTA WHO IS SEEKING THE

DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION FOR PRESIDENT.

PLEASE WELCOME SENATOR

AMY KLOBUCHAR.

♪

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> Jimmy: THANKS FOR COMING ALL THE WAY OUT HERE.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jimmy: WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT?

I MEAN, THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

IS IT ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE YOU LOOK AT DONALD TRUMP AND YOU

GO, I COULD CERTAINLY DO THAT? DID HE INSPIRE YOU IN A WAY?

>> OF COURSE HE DID. FIRST OF ALL, IT'S GOOD TO SIT

DOWN WITH SOMEONE WHO'S NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.

>> Jimmy: GIVE ME SOME TIME.

>> OH, I SEE.

>> Jimmy: NO, THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

>> FIRST OF ALL, WHAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT, ONE, I'M A WOMAN.

THERE'S NOT THAT MANY OF US.

>> Jimmy: I WAS GOING TO MENTION THAT.

>> AND I SAY MAY THE BEST WOMAN WIN.

SECONDLY, I AM FROM THE MIDWEST. AND, AS YOU KNOW IN 2016 WE HAD

SOME TROUBLE WINNING THE MIDWEST, AND I HAVE WON ALL

THESE RURAL COUNTIES. EVERY CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT

THAT'S RED IN MY DISTRICT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

I AM SOMEONE WHO GETS THINGS DONE. AND LAST TIME I CHECKED THE

AMERICAN PEOPLE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THAT.

AND FINALLY, I AM THE ONLY CANDIDATE OF ALL OF THEM THAT

ANNOUNCED MY CANDIDACY IN A GIGANTIC SNOW GLOBE AND HAD

EIGHT INCHES OF SNOW ON MY HEAD.

>> Jimmy: YOU DID DO THAT.

>> SHOWING THAT I HAVE THE GRIT TO BEAT THIS GUY.

>> Jimmy: OR JUST A BAD TRAVEL AGENT.

SO YOU, IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS WEEKEND, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jimmy: YOU SPENT IT AT A RALLY.

>> WITH MY HUSBAND. IT WAS VERY ROMANTIC.

THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE FROM IOWA AND SOME COWS. THAT WAS IT.

IT WAS VERY GOOD.

>> Jimmy: DID YOU HAVE A PARTY OF ANY KIND WHILE YOU WERE IN

IOWA?

>> I DID. I HAD A BIG BIRTHDAY CAKE MANY

TIMES AND HE GAVE ME A REALLY COOL GIFT FOR DRIVING AROUND

IOWA, AUTO BINGO.

>> Jimmy: BINGO YOU PLAY IN THE CAR?

>> YEAH.

>> Jimmy: HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN PLAY?

>> FOUR.

>> Jimmy: SO YOU'RE GUARANTEED TO WIN A LOT.

>> OF COURSE, THAT WAS MY POINT.

>> Jimmy: NOW YOU TOLD A STORY AT ONE OF THESE RALLIES THIS

WEEKEND THAT I FOUND SO INTERESTING ABOUT THE LATE

SENATOR JOHN McCAIN. YOU AND, CORRECT ME IF I HAVE

ANY OF THE DETAILS WRONG, BUT IT WAS YOU, SENATOR SANDERS, AT

TRUMP'S INAUGURATION AND HE BEGAN RECITING THE NAMES OF

DICTATORS DURING TRUMP'S SPEECH, IS THAT CORRECT?

>> HE WAS MENTIONING PART OF THE SPEECH AND MENTIONING DICTATOR

SPEECHES.

>> Jimmy: WAS HE DOING IT TO MAKE YOU GUYS LAUGH?

>> NO.

>> Jimmy: HE WAS NOT.

>> HE WAS DOING IT BECAUSE OF HIS CONCERN ABOUT WHAT THIS

MEANT WITH THIS PRESIDENT.

>> Jimmy: WAS HITLER IN THERE?

>> NO.

>> Jimmy: WELL, TRUMP'S GOT TO BE FLATTERED ABOUT THAT.

WHAT ABOUT STALIN.

>> NO, HE WAS NOT. I THINK THE POINT OF THE STORY

WAS THAT JOHN McCAIN WAS A STUDENT OF HISTORY.

AND SO HE KNEW WHAT WAS COMING. HE KNEW THESE CRIES FOR

ISOLATIONISM, WHAT THAT MEANT IF WE DON'T STAND WITH OUR ALLIES,

WHAT THAT MEANT FOR AMERICA'S STANDING IN THE WORLD.

AND THAT'S WHAT HE WAS DOING. HE SAID THINGS SIMILAR TO THIS

PUBLICLY AS WELL.

>> Jimmy: WHY DON'T, AND I KNOW THERE ARE A COUPLE WHO DO, BUT

WHY DON'T MANY OF HIS REPUBLICAN COLLEAGUES AGREE WITH THAT

SENTIMENT? ARE THEY SCARED BECAUSE TRUMP IS

SO POPULAR TO STAND UP TO HIM?

>> I THINK THEY DO GET SCARED. I THINK THEY'RE SCARED OF

GETTING A PRIMARY AGAINST SOMEONE WHO IS MORE RIGHT WING,

MORE EXTREME, AND IT'S JUST ANOTHER REASON WHY I WANT TO

BECOME THE PRESIDENT. I THINK WE NEED SOMEONE THAT'S

GOING TO BE ABLE TO WORK WITH THEM, TO STAND UP TO THIS, TO

FIND COMMON GROUND WHERE WE CAN, TO GET THINGS DONE.

RESPONDING TO CLIMATE CHANGE. THE GUY'S MOVED US BACKWARDS.

BRINGING DOWN THE COST OF PRESCRIPTION DRUGS.

WASHINGTON HAS DONE NOTHING. AND HE MADE SO MANY PROMISES SO

THE PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY WHEN HE RAN FOR ELECTION, AND HE

HASN'T COME THROUGH.

>> Jimmy: SOME OF THE PROMISES THAT HE MADE WE HOPE HE DOESN'T

COME THROUGH ON.

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> Jimmy: I THINK WE SHOULD MAYBE NOT PUSH THAT ONE.

YOU WERE A PROSECUTING ATTORNEY IN MINNESOTA AND DECIDED TO RUN

FOR, IN, FOR POLITICAL OFFICE PAUS

BECAUSE YOUR DAUGHTER HAD HEALTH ISSUES.

>> RIGHT. I ACTUALLY HADN'T HELD ANY

OFFICE BEFORE. AND WHEN SHE WAS BORN, SIMILAR

TO THE STORY OF YOUR SON, WE THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS FINE, AND

AN ALL OF A SUDDEN A FEW HOURS LATER THE NURSE COMES RUNNING IN

AND SAYS SHE CAN'T SWALLOW, SHE CAN'T SWALLOW. WE GOT UP.

WE HAD ALL THIS LITTLE BABY, X RAY AFTER X RAY AFTER X RAY.

THEY THOUGHT SHE HAD A TUMOR. SHE WAS IN INTENSIVE CARE.

AND IT TOOK ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF BEFORE SHE STARTED EATING

ON HER OWN WITHOUT BEING FED THROUGH A TUBE.

AND THAT REALLY TAUGHT ME A FEW THINGS, AS IT DID YOU, ONE, TO

MAKE SURE EVERYONE GOT THAT KIND OF HEALTH CARE LIKE WE GOT.

TWO, UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE WITH KIDS WITH DISABILITIES GO

THROUGH, EVEN THOUGH THAT DIDN'T TURN OUT WHAT WAS WRONG WITH

HER, BUT IT'S MADE ME A LIFETIME ADVOCATE FOR THAT.

AND BACK THEN I WAS KICKED OUT OF THE HOSPITAL IN 24 HOURS EVEN

THOUGH I'D BEEN UP ALL NIGHT. WE DIDN'T KNOW IF SHE WAS GOING

TO SURVIVE. THAT WAS THE RULE BACK THEN.

THEN I WENT TO THE LEGISLATURE, NEVER HOLDING OFFICE, WORKED

WITH PEOPLE AND GOT ONE OF THE FIRST LAWS IN THE NATION PASSED,

GUARANTEED MOMS OF A NEW BABY A 48 HOUR HOSPITAL STAY.

THE INSURANCE LOBBYISTS WERE TRYING TO DELAY IT SO IT WOULD

TAKE EFFECT LATER.

>> Jimmy: OH.

>> AND THEY DIDN'T WANT TO TELL ANYONE. SO I BROUGHT SIX PREGNANT

FRIENDS TO THE CONFERENCE COMMITTEE.

THEY OUTNUMBERED THEM TWO TO ONE. AND WHEN THE LEGISLATE YOU ARES

SAID WHEN SHOULD THIS TAKE EFFECT?

THEY ALL RAISED THEIR HAND AND SAID NOW.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.

>> Jimmy: NOW IT'S BECOME A FEDERAL.

>> YEAH. NOW IT'S A FEDERAL LAW.

>> Jimmy: YOU PUT AN INITIATIVE FORWARD TO SUPPORT PEOPLE WHO

HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AND TO FIGHT ADDICTION, SUBSTANCE

ADDICTION. AND IT'S INSPIRED, IN A WAY, BY

YOUR FATHER.

>> YEAH.

>> Jimmy: WHO WAS A LOCAL PERSONALITY IN YOUR TOWN.

>> YES, MY DAD HAD A NUMBER OF DWIs, STRUGGLED WITH ALCOHOLISM.

WHEN HE GOT TO HIS THIRD, RIGHT BEFORE I WAS GOING TO GET

MARRIED HE HAD TO FACE JAIL OR TREATMENT.

AND HE PICKED TREATMENT. AND IN HIS WORDS HE WAS PURSUED

BY GRACE. AND I TRULY BELIEVE EVERYONE IN

AMERICA, WHETHER THEY ARE DEALING WITH MENTAL HEALTH OR

ADDICTION TO OPIOIDS OR ALCOHOL OR METH, THEY HAVE THAT SAME

RIGHT. AND I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY

PEOPLE COME UP TO ME AND SAY I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO FOR HELP.

THERE AREN'T ENOUGH BEDS IN MY STATE FOR MY SON WHO HAS A

MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEM. WE ARE, MY KIDS IN THE COURT

SYSTEM NOW, AND THEY JUST NEED A DRUG COURT SO THEY CAN HELP

THEM. SO I JUST BELIEVE WE SHOULD BE

ABLE TO DO THIS IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY.

>> Jimmy: OF COURSE.

>> ALL WE HEAR IS TALK. THERE'S ACTUALLY A WAY TO PAY

FOR IT. PART OF IT IS HOLDING THOSE

RESPONSIBLE WHO GOT PEOPLE ADDICTED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

THAT'S PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES. WE CAN GET THIS DONE.

>> Jimmy: WILL THIS MENTAL HEALTH ASSISTANCE BE AVAILABLE

TO OUR COMMANDER IN CHIEF AS WELL?

DO YOU THINK THE PRESIDENT IS CRAZY?

>> I THINK THAT THE PRESIDENT IS NOT DOING HIS JOB FOR THIS

COUNTRY. I THINK THAT HE IS INCONSISTENT.

HE'S GOVERNING BY CHAOS. HE IS SOMEONE THAT DIVIDES

PEOPLE EVERY SINGLE MORNING. HE SENDS OUT A TWEET, THAT, TO

ME, AS A LEADER, YOU BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER.

SURE, THEY HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWS THAN YOU DO.

BUT YOUR JOB IS TO BRING THEM TOGETHER.

INSTEAD, HE LIKES TO CREATE THESE WEDGES TO KEEP HIS BASE

HAPPY, GOING AFTER IMMIGRANTS, GOING AFTER PEOPLE OF COLOR,

GOING AFTER JOHN McCAIN, GOING AFTER, YOU KNOW, SENDING OUT A

DOCTORED VIDEO OF NANCY PELOSI. THESE ARE NOT THINGS THAT ARE

GOOD, STRONG LEADER DOES.

>> Jimmy: SO YEAH, HE'S CRAZY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, SO I WANT TO OFFER YOU A LITTLE BIT OF

CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.

>> OH, YEAH, PLEASE. NO ONE'S WATCHING.

SO JUST TELL ME. YEAH.

>> Jimmy: THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THIS RACE.

AND YOU HAVE TO SET YOURSELF APART.

I KNOW YOUR SLOGAN IS AMY FOR AMERICA.

AND I MEAN, IT'S FINE FOR STUDENT COUNCIL.

BUT FOR PRESIDENCY, YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING REALLY GOOD, ALL

RIGHT?

>> YOU GOT SOMETHING FOR ME?

>> Jimmy: WE'LL SEE WHAT YOU THINK.

>> OKAY.

>> Jimmy: SO THIS ONE, A PLAY ON YOUR LAST NAME.

KLO WITH THE FLOW.

>> OKAY. THAT IS ALMOST AS GOOD AS MY

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CAMPAIGN, WHICH WAS ALL THE WAY WITH AMY K.

>> Jimmy: EVEN THAT'S BETTER THAN AMY FOR AMERICA.

IT DOES HAVE A SEXUAL CONNOTATION, YES.

HERE'S A RED HAT.

WHEN THEY GO KLO, WE GO BUCHAR.

>> THOSE ARE REALLY HELPFUL.

>> Jimmy: HERE WE GO.

IT'S KLOBERING TIME.

>> THESE ARE SO GREAT. WE DON'T HAVE QUITE AS MUCH MUCH

AS SOME OF THE OTHER CANDIDATES, AND YOU'VE REALLY PROVIDED ME

WITH MILLIONS OF CONSULTANT HELP RIGHT HERE.

>> Jimmy: HERE YOU GO. SENATOR KLOBUCHAR, EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE SPECIALS.

♪

>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS

PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.

>> Dicky: THE "JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE" CONCERT SERIES IS

PRESENTED BY MERCEDES‐BENZ. THE BEST OR NOTHING.

>> Jimmy: I WANT TO THANK TARON EGERTON AND

SENATOR KLOBUCHAR. APOLOGIES TO MATT DAMON.

"NIGHTLINE" IS NEXT BUT FIRST, THIS IS THEIR ALBUM "ENCORE"

HERE WITH THE SONG "VOTE FOR

ME," THE SPECIALS!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪

♪ IF WE VOTE FOR YOU

DO YOU PROMISE TO BE UPRIGHT DECENT AND HONEST ♪

♪ TO HAVE OUR BEST

INTEREST AT HEART YOU UNDERSTAND WHY

WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU ♪

♪ YOU'RE WAY TOO EASY

TO SEE THROUGH NOT THE BEST PLACES TO START ♪

♪ THERE ARE NO ROCKS

AT ROCKAWAY BEACH AND ALL THAT GLITTERS

ISN'T GOLD ♪

♪

♪ YOU'RE ALL SO DRUNK

ON MONEY AND POWER INSIDE YOUR IVORY TOWER ♪

♪ TEACHING US NOT

TO BE SMART MAKING LAWS THAT SERVE

TO PROTECT YOU ♪

♪ BUT WE WILL NEVER

FORGET THAT YOU TORE OUR FAMILIES APART ♪

♪ THERE ARE NO ROCKS

AT ROCKAWAY BEACH AND ALL THAT GLITTERS

ISN'T GOLD ♪

♪

♪

♪

♪ SO IF WE VOTE FOR YOU

DO YOU PROMISE TO BE UPRIGHT DECENT AND HONEST ♪

♪ AND TAKE AWAY

ALL OF THE FEAR YOU SIT AND WAIT FOR US TO ELECT YOU ♪

♪ BUT ALL WE WILL DO

IS REJECT YOU YOUR POLITICS

BROUGHT US TO TEARS ♪

♪ THERE ARE NO ROCKS

AT ROCKAWAY BEACH AND ALL THAT GLITTERS

ISN'T GOLD ♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]