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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:08,225 Happily on previous... 2 00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:09,444 (REVERSED AUDIO) 3 00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:11,489 (SHRIEKING) 4 00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,317 (ALL SHRIEKING) 5 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,903 I wanna know about the big announcement 6 00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:17,060 that your show is being cancelled. 7 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,453 This is not an end! 8 00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:22,500 The show will go on! 9 00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,849 (VIDEO REWINDING) 10 00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:26,069 - (GROANS) - Bingo! 11 00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:29,116 I really wish things were the way they used to be. 12 00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:31,118 Yeah, I'm back. 13 00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,903 (SCREAMING) 14 00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:36,427 Where's our fucking daughter? 15 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:37,646 Penis. 16 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,822 BOTH: ♪ Put on a happy, happy, happy ♪ 17 00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,911 (CHILDREN CHEERING) Sonny! 18 00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,217 (HOLLERING) 19 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:44,609 What do I know? 20 00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:47,656 Except exactly where Hailey is. 21 00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,788 (GRUNTS) - (GROANS) 22 00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,703 Here's daddy destruction. 23 00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:53,836 (YELLING) 24 00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:57,753 You can never get back what was stolen from you, 25 00:00:57,796 --> 00:01:01,844 but you can make the world more correct. 26 00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:04,325 - (MOANING) - Later, sucker. 27 00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:05,674 (SLOW-MOTION YELLING) 28 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,371 You want me to inject him? 29 00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:09,634 In the buttocks, please. 30 00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:12,594 The world is not correct. 31 00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,770 (GROOVY MUSIC) 32 00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,511 (MOANING) 33 00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:20,254 We both know this doesn't end until one of us is dead. 34 00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:22,604 Absolutely. 35 00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:25,824 But there are much worse things than dead. 36 00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:31,526 ♪ I'll have a blue 37 00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:33,876 ♪ Christmas 38 00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:38,489 ♪ Without you 39 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:43,190 ♪ I'll be so blue 40 00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:48,891 ♪ Just thinking about you 41 00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:51,894 Buy you another? 42 00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:53,852 Your glory hole is somewhere else, pal. 43 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,289 I don't swallow. 44 00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:56,638 Oh. 45 00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,466 I'm sorry, you're clearly not the Nick Sax 46 00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:01,643 that I've heard of, then. 47 00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:04,472 Blue Scaramu... I know who you are. 48 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,300 ♪ 49 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,258 I just don't want what you're selling. 50 00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:10,782 Wise not to trust anyone. 51 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:14,438 Oh, they set you up good, Sax. 52 00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:18,834 Cops going cannibal on cops. 53 00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:21,663 Ain't that a sorry state of internal affairs? 54 00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:23,317 One for my friend. 55 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,014 Double, please. 56 00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:28,409 Tell my new friend I don't have any friends. 57 00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,933 Just pour his into mine. 58 00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:32,674 Oh... 59 00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:35,981 you know what, give me a little glass of, um... 60 00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:38,506 maraschino cherries. 61 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:41,770 ♪ 62 00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:43,641 "New York's Finest." 63 00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:47,602 Christ, look what they did to you. 64 00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,473 You're like a... 65 00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:52,346 lonely pube... 66 00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:55,566 on the rim of a urinal. 67 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:59,527 Cast off, forgotten. 68 00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,355 Clinging for dear life. 69 00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:02,897 You know, you put those words to music, 70 00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:04,488 you could have yourself a hit there. 71 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:07,317 Now, as pertaining to my prior employment, 72 00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,928 they didn't do anything to me that I hadn't already earned 73 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:11,408 twenty times over. 74 00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:14,846 And now they're gonna plant blow? 75 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:17,240 Good on them. 76 00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:24,291 ♪ 77 00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:28,556 (SIGHS) 78 00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:29,905 Okay. 79 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:32,299 Fedore Pavlov, "The Dog Whisperer." 80 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,431 Yeah, so, besides a double-digit body count, 81 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:37,391 what did he do, steal your tricycle? 82 00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:39,741 That's one sour cherry. 83 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:41,569 Well, he's a slippery motherfucker. 84 00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:43,266 We tried to put him away for years. 85 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,920 There's your mistake. 86 00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:49,403 Man like this, one does not put him away. 87 00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:52,493 One puts him in the ground. 88 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,799 (TCHAIKOVSKY'S "DANCE OF THE SUGAR PLUM FAIRY") 89 00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:58,586 And who better than Nick Sax to do so? 90 00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:01,545 You played by their rules long enough. 91 00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:03,591 Now, look. 92 00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:06,289 Look what it's gotten you. 93 00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:13,340 ♪ 94 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:18,606 Work for me. 95 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:21,826 Embrace your manifest destiny 96 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:25,003 as judge, jury... 97 00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:26,788 ♪ 98 00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:30,618 And executioner. 99 00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,968 And maybe even have a little fun 100 00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:35,623 while you're at it. 101 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,929 ♪ 102 00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:40,062 (OMINOUS OVERTONE) 103 00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:41,803 Nick. 104 00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,370 Nick. 105 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,807 - Nick! - Wake up, Nick! 106 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:50,028 I'm okay, I'm... I'm just a little... 107 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:52,335 (GRUNTS) 108 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,337 (SINISTER MUSIC) 109 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:57,384 - Real talk. - Hmm? 110 00:04:57,427 --> 00:05:00,648 That's some good shit, Smoothie. 111 00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:03,694 ♪ 112 00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:05,348 I wouldn't, if I were you. 113 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,481 I need him alive. 114 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,352 Not you. 115 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:13,791 ♪ 116 00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:16,011 Let's go. (GROANS) 117 00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:20,450 ♪ Ooh-ooh, Sonny 118 00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:24,498 ♪ Ooh, Sonny Shine 119 00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:27,501 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 120 00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:30,504 (CHILDREN CHATTERING) 121 00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:34,638 ♪ 122 00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:36,074 (SCANNER BEEPING) 123 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:38,425 (WAND WARBLING) 124 00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:45,475 ♪ 125 00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:57,531 This way to your seat, Ms. Hansen. 126 00:05:57,574 --> 00:06:00,534 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 127 00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:07,584 ♪ 128 00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:21,903 (ALL LAUGHING) 129 00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:24,949 (OVERLAPPING CHATTER, LAUGHTER) 130 00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:32,479 Ah! (GROANS) 131 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,263 Hey, cool it with the rough stuff. 132 00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:36,265 Hey! 133 00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,180 No! 134 00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:40,574 (LOCK CLICKING) 135 00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,967 (PANTING) 136 00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,970 (FOREBODING MUSIC) 137 00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:49,278 ♪ 138 00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,585 (GASPS) 139 00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:57,112 ♪ 140 00:06:57,155 --> 00:07:00,115 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 141 00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:07,165 ♪ 142 00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:11,779 What kind... 143 00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:17,785 ♪ 144 00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:20,004 What kind of evil... 145 00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:27,055 ♪ 146 00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:45,334 Feels great. 147 00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,292 A teeny bit tight, is all. 148 00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:49,643 I guess the costume was made for a little guy. 149 00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:51,645 Mm, don't worry about that. 150 00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:53,690 You've studied the script? Yes, sir. 151 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,171 Me good, you evil. 152 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:58,173 Blah, blah, blah. And then you kick my ass. 153 00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,131 Then I kick your ass, correct. 154 00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,612 Right, about that part. 155 00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:04,788 We ain't really ever gone over that. 156 00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,181 Improv. 157 00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:08,531 I make my entrance, you follow my lead. 158 00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,709 I defeat you, I save Easter. 159 00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,145 Where is the disconnect? 160 00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:15,886 Uh, the other part. 161 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,540 The part where I got to, you know. 162 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,977 We've been over this a bazillion times. 163 00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:22,023 I know, but shouldn't there be some kind of way 164 00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:23,372 we can fake it? 165 00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:25,026 The blood and guts and all? 166 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:27,681 You know, like some kind of Hollywood magic? 167 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,857 No. 168 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,903 You cornfed... 169 00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:34,296 cornhole. 170 00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:35,863 (TENSE MUSIC) 171 00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,255 It has to be real. 172 00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:39,693 That's what people want now. Reality. 173 00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:42,260 But I ain't even skinned a possum before, Mr. Shine. 174 00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:48,397 You said you would do anything to succeed. 175 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,225 Right? 176 00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:54,359 A... and then... 177 00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,579 the other part, where it says 178 00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:59,408 "the evil dies tonight," 179 00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,889 guess that means I ain't coming back. 180 00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:04,413 That's the best part. 181 00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:06,676 Yeah, Evil Bunny... Evil Bunny makes 182 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,070 a death-defying escape only to fight another day 183 00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:11,986 as Sonny Shine's very big, very bad, 184 00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,901 ultra-arch "villy." 185 00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,772 - A recurring role! - (GROWLS) 186 00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:16,947 (DOOR ALARM CHIRPING) 187 00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:20,037 Uh, give... give me a second! 188 00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:23,040 Okay, get out. 189 00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:26,653 Remember, this is our secret. 190 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:31,005 Our own J.J. Abrams super plot twist. 191 00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:33,137 J.J. Abrams. 192 00:09:33,181 --> 00:09:35,966 (DOOR ALARM CHIRPS) 193 00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:41,058 Sonny. 194 00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:44,366 I'd like you to meet a very special little girl. 195 00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:47,369 (SINISTER MUSIC) 196 00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:54,419 ♪ 197 00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:06,780 Best seats in the house. 198 00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:10,131 Oh, oh. 199 00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:11,741 Look. 200 00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:15,484 For a special occasion. 201 00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:18,748 Oh, oh, oops! (LAUGHING) 202 00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,794 Maybe I'm getting a little too excited. 203 00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,143 - Oh, you thirsty? - Yes. 204 00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:23,666 Yes, thirsty. 205 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,799 Here we go. Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty? 206 00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,191 No, no, no, oh. 207 00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:29,759 Oh, no, you don't. 208 00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:32,719 No, because the alcohol, 209 00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:35,983 it will dilute the drug running through your system 210 00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:39,116 and we can't have that. 211 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,205 No. (GASPS) 212 00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:43,468 Oops, oh. Oh, boy. 213 00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:44,948 Big bottle. 214 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,384 Yes. (GASPS) 215 00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:47,908 (SPLUTTERS) 216 00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:50,475 Look at you. 217 00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:54,828 Every fiber of that adorable little face 218 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:58,048 screaming for murder. 219 00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,920 Sonny. 220 00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:03,053 This is your new soloist, Hailey Hansen. 221 00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:04,359 New soloist? 222 00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:07,014 What happened to Tatiana? 223 00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:09,843 She was deported back to Uzbekistan, 224 00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,888 but didn't you hear me? 225 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,498 Hailey Hansen. 226 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:17,241 Survivor of the terrible mass kidnappings last Christmas. 227 00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:18,895 ♪ 228 00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:21,463 I see. 229 00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:24,727 Will you excuse us for a moment? 230 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:31,821 Isn't she the kid of you-know-who? 231 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,736 Mm. (SNIFFS) 232 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,173 You could look at it that way. 233 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:40,264 Or, she's a celebrity victim. 234 00:11:42,092 --> 00:11:45,182 Put her on a pedestal. 235 00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:48,533 Give her a magical moment. 236 00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:53,408 People love a good resurrection story. 237 00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:56,909 Does she know the words to the music? 238 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,327 Oh, every octave. 239 00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:03,113 (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY) 240 00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,289 - (CHUCKLES) - Yes, yes, yes. 241 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:08,249 (CLICKS TONGUE) Let's see. 242 00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:11,426 ♪ 243 00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,907 Of all the little double-x chromosomes 244 00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:16,300 in all the land, 245 00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:19,434 why do you think you deserve to be onstage with me? 246 00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:22,567 ♪ 247 00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:24,352 If she's gonna freeze up now, 248 00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:27,007 she's gonna piss ice cubes on that stage. 249 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:29,531 ♪ 250 00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:32,229 It's okay, Hailey. 251 00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,970 Now, you tell Sonny Shine 252 00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:36,190 why you're saving the real fireworks 253 00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:38,148 for the show tonight. 254 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,455 The big event. 255 00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:46,809 ♪ 256 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,376 Mr. Shine? 257 00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:51,901 I've dreamed of this moment since I was little. 258 00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:54,034 Honestly, this has been the worst year 259 00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,557 of my entire life. 260 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,647 Christmas was ruined forever. 261 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:02,303 But you know who got me through it all? 262 00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:03,565 You. 263 00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:06,263 I made one wish and it came true. 264 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:08,918 I'm with you, my hero. 265 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:10,615 Sonny Shine. 266 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:13,140 Any kid would kill to be where I am. 267 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,316 (GENTLE MUSIC) 268 00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:18,014 I want you... 269 00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:21,322 to say all of that... 270 00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:23,150 tonight... 271 00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:26,327 on camera... 272 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:27,676 to the world. 273 00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,286 Okay? 274 00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:32,072 Absolutely, Mr. Shine. 275 00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:35,336 Paint my pickle. 276 00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:39,035 Hailey Hansen. (SPITS) 277 00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:41,342 Welcome aboard. 278 00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:44,084 ♪ 279 00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:49,959 (SINISTER MUSIC) 280 00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:52,962 (MUFFLED CHATTERING) 281 00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:56,531 ♪ 282 00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:58,881 (LIGHTS CLICK) (CHILDREN SCREAMING) 283 00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:01,492 Coming to living rooms and home theaters 284 00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:04,495 of nearly 100 million sundrops around the world, 285 00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:07,759 broadcast in 147 different countries, 286 00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:10,850 in 25 languages, including six dialects of Arabic, 287 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:13,940 the moment you've been waiting for all year, 288 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:17,595 it's Sonny Shine's Easter Eggtacular! 289 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:18,988 Yay! ALL: Sonny! Sonny! 290 00:14:19,032 --> 00:14:21,861 Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 291 00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:24,951 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 292 00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:32,001 ♪ 293 00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:36,876 Are we making Easter great again? 294 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:37,877 (ALL CHEERING) 295 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,183 Yeah! (LAUGHING) 296 00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:42,882 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 297 00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,927 Sundrops! 298 00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,538 ♪ Sundrops 299 00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:50,193 I love you all. I love you, Sonny! 300 00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:53,457 And why wouldn't you? 301 00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,198 Why wouldn't you? 302 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:59,028 You know, I had planned a big bump and grind number 303 00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:01,683 for the opening of tonight's show. 304 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:04,077 Something strange 305 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,557 and darkly sexy. 306 00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:10,779 With my wonderful Wishees, of course. 307 00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,782 But then I thought, 308 00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:16,567 this moment's not about me. 309 00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:20,006 This moment is about you! 310 00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,572 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 311 00:15:21,616 --> 00:15:25,750 Your voice, not mine! 312 00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:28,710 Is there some... 313 00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:32,583 special someone out there... 314 00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:34,934 who will give me their voice? 315 00:15:34,977 --> 00:15:37,501 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 316 00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:38,981 Yes! 317 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,157 My, my, my, yes! 318 00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:42,854 Is it you? 319 00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:44,813 No, it's not you. 320 00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:46,858 Up there in the cheapies? 321 00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:49,078 No. 322 00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:51,951 Absolutely not you. 323 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,474 Me, Sonny! Me! 324 00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:55,606 (OVERLAPPING SHOUTING) 325 00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:58,653 Oh. 326 00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:00,089 You. 327 00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:03,005 You! 328 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:06,182 Would you like to give me your voice, 329 00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:08,228 Hailey Hansen? 330 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,491 (SILENCE) 331 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,716 Yes! 332 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,806 Come on up! Come on up! 333 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,809 You've probably read about her on your phones. 334 00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,724 Hailey was the little girl 335 00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:29,771 that was kidnapped last Christmas. 336 00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:34,994 She survived unspeakable terrors. 337 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,039 Hailey! 338 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:40,564 And maybe part of her died a little. 339 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,044 Can you blame her? 340 00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:45,004 Maybe you're starting to get it, but let me help you. 341 00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:49,051 Inside that Easter basket is a 9-milimeter handgun. 342 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,966 She smuggled it into the show tonight. 343 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,272 - No. - Yes. 344 00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,795 No. 345 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:57,233 But now she's back. 346 00:16:57,277 --> 00:16:59,757 Resurrected. 347 00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:02,760 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 348 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:05,763 (RADIOHEAD'S "BULLET PROOF... I WISH I WAS" OVER SPEAKERS) 349 00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:12,814 ♪ 350 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:19,081 ♪ Limb by limb and tooth by tooth ♪ 351 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:25,218 ♪ Tearing up inside of me 352 00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:31,050 ♪ Every day, every hour 353 00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:35,054 ♪ Wish that I 354 00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:38,274 ♪ 355 00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:42,191 ♪ Was bulletproof 356 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:44,367 (SCREAMING) 357 00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:46,065 Hailey! 358 00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:47,327 I got to find Nick, Amanda. 359 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:50,721 Nick will know what to do, he always does! 360 00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:57,772 ♪ 361 00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:07,086 ♪ Wax me 362 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,827 I think you know what she's gonna do with that gun. 363 00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:11,133 No. 364 00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:13,831 She's gonna use it for what guns are used for. 365 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:16,182 Like father, like daughter. 366 00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:21,752 ♪ You have turned me into this ♪ 367 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:22,971 ♪ Just wish that 368 00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:25,104 Don't you see, Sax? 369 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:27,323 This is how I destroy you. 370 00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:29,934 This is how I undo you. 371 00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:35,984 ♪ Was bulletproof 372 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,160 No, no, please. 373 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,945 ♪ 374 00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:42,991 Why not have a child? 375 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:46,125 What's the worst thing that could happen? 376 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,039 Winds up like me? 377 00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:49,258 Please. 378 00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:52,087 Oh, the begging and the pleading. 379 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,872 - No. - It's like music to my ears. 380 00:18:54,916 --> 00:19:01,444 ♪ So pay me money and take a shot ♪ 381 00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:07,450 ♪ Lead fill the hole in me 382 00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:12,890 ♪ I could burst a million bubbles ♪ 383 00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:16,155 ♪ All surrogate 384 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:20,289 ♪ 385 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:27,296 ♪ And bulletproof 386 00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:31,822 ♪ 387 00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:35,261 ♪ And bulletproof 388 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,176 (LIGHTS CLICK) (MUSIC STOPS) 389 00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:40,309 (CONFUSED CHATTER) 390 00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:41,789 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 391 00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:44,835 (DISTORTED VOICE) I warned you there would be 392 00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:47,229 no Easter fun this year. 393 00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:50,450 (CHILDREN SCREAMING) 394 00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:53,453 No gaiety, no revelry. 395 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:57,761 No pastel, pagan Bacchanalia. 396 00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,937 But you didn't listen! 397 00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:02,288 (CHILDREN SCREAMING) 398 00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:04,942 "Easter Strong," you said. 399 00:20:04,986 --> 00:20:07,336 Well, we'll see! 400 00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:10,731 We'll see! 401 00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:12,950 Sonny, you moron, what the hell? 402 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,909 - Nick! - (GROANS) 403 00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:17,128 - Happy. - I found you. 404 00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:20,262 (LAUGHS) Just like our first time. 405 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,003 What can I do, Nick? 406 00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:23,831 Sure could use a drink. 407 00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:25,441 ♪ 408 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,226 No, no, no. 409 00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:30,751 Not that. 410 00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:32,492 Nick, I've been thinking. 411 00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:34,885 You can touch me. No one else can. 412 00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:36,409 (HAPPY SQUEAKS) 413 00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:37,888 (EXPLOSION) 414 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,977 - But why? - Uh... 415 00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:44,243 I think... I think it's because you believe in me. 416 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,201 - Fascinating. - Uh-huh. 417 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:50,118 Now, believe in this. 418 00:20:50,161 --> 00:20:52,294 (GASPS, LAUGHS) 419 00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,340 Oh, sweet Jesus. 420 00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:56,037 Bottom's up, buddy. 421 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,387 (CAN POPS) (BEER GURGLING) 422 00:20:58,431 --> 00:21:00,781 ♪ 423 00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:03,262 (GRUNTS, SNIFFS) 424 00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:05,089 (GROWLING) 425 00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:07,440 ♪ 426 00:21:07,483 --> 00:21:10,443 Not so fast, you cotton-tailed terrorist! 427 00:21:10,486 --> 00:21:12,314 (GLASS SHATTERING) 428 00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:14,360 Over here, rodent! 429 00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:16,013 (CHUCKLING) 430 00:21:18,538 --> 00:21:19,930 (GLASS SHATTERS) 431 00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:21,454 (LIGHTS CLICK) 432 00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:25,414 Your hippity-hoppity reign of destruction ends tonight. 433 00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:27,198 (DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC) 434 00:21:27,242 --> 00:21:30,158 ♪ Mega 435 00:21:30,201 --> 00:21:32,291 (CHILDREN CHEERING) 436 00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:39,298 ♪ 437 00:21:44,085 --> 00:21:46,827 (CHEERING) 438 00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:51,135 ♪ 439 00:21:51,179 --> 00:21:53,921 (CHUCKLES) Oh, no, no, no. 440 00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:55,444 You're not going anywhere, daddy. 441 00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:58,055 I filled that syringe with a dosage 442 00:21:58,099 --> 00:22:00,231 that would paralyze a silverback gorilla, 443 00:22:00,275 --> 00:22:03,278 and then doubled it. 444 00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:06,629 Should have tripled it. 445 00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,327 (YELLS, GRUNTS) 446 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:10,938 That was close. (GRUNTS) 447 00:22:10,981 --> 00:22:14,985 ♪ 448 00:22:15,029 --> 00:22:17,248 (YELLS) 449 00:22:17,292 --> 00:22:18,965 She's outside. She's gonna meet us outside. 450 00:22:18,989 --> 00:22:20,600 ALL: Sonny! Sonny! 451 00:22:20,643 --> 00:22:22,645 Whoo-hoo! (LAUGHS) 452 00:22:22,689 --> 00:22:25,169 ALL: Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 453 00:22:25,213 --> 00:22:27,868 Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 454 00:22:27,911 --> 00:22:34,918 ♪ 455 00:22:36,659 --> 00:22:39,009 (CHOKING) 456 00:22:39,053 --> 00:22:41,577 (GRUNTS) 457 00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:44,580 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 458 00:22:44,624 --> 00:22:50,325 ♪ 459 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,240 I... ugh. 460 00:22:52,283 --> 00:22:55,025 (BOTH GRUNTING) 461 00:22:55,069 --> 00:22:58,594 ♪ 462 00:22:58,638 --> 00:23:00,291 (GROANS) 463 00:23:00,335 --> 00:23:02,642 ALL: Sonny! Sonny! - No one gets out of here! 464 00:23:02,685 --> 00:23:05,427 (MUFFLED SCREAMING) 465 00:23:05,471 --> 00:23:07,690 Come on, come on, come on! Let's get out of here now! 466 00:23:07,734 --> 00:23:14,915 ♪ 467 00:23:24,098 --> 00:23:25,186 (BONES CRUNCHING) 468 00:23:25,229 --> 00:23:26,970 (GRUNTS) 469 00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:32,541 ♪ 470 00:23:32,585 --> 00:23:35,718 (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC) 471 00:23:35,762 --> 00:23:40,244 ♪ 472 00:23:40,288 --> 00:23:42,203 (GRUNTS) 473 00:23:42,246 --> 00:23:44,161 ♪ 474 00:23:44,205 --> 00:23:47,164 (STRAINING) 475 00:23:47,208 --> 00:23:50,733 ♪ 476 00:23:50,777 --> 00:23:52,169 (GROANING) 477 00:23:52,213 --> 00:23:53,562 Don't panic, everyone! 478 00:23:53,606 --> 00:23:57,131 I got this! 479 00:23:57,174 --> 00:23:59,568 No, no! Cut, cut, cut! 480 00:23:59,612 --> 00:24:02,571 (CHEERING) 481 00:24:02,615 --> 00:24:03,616 ♪ 482 00:24:03,659 --> 00:24:06,009 Whoo! (LAUGHS) 483 00:24:06,053 --> 00:24:08,272 ALL: Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 484 00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:11,580 Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 485 00:24:11,624 --> 00:24:15,236 Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 486 00:24:15,279 --> 00:24:18,282 Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 487 00:24:18,326 --> 00:24:19,675 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 488 00:24:19,719 --> 00:24:23,331 Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 489 00:24:23,374 --> 00:24:25,289 (CHILDREN CHEERING) 490 00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:28,075 Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 491 00:24:28,118 --> 00:24:30,294 ♪ 492 00:24:30,338 --> 00:24:32,601 Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 493 00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:35,996 Sonny! Sonny! Sonny! 494 00:24:36,039 --> 00:24:38,346 Hailey! 495 00:24:38,389 --> 00:24:43,743 ♪ 496 00:24:43,786 --> 00:24:47,137 Hailey, don't do it... (GROANS) 497 00:24:47,181 --> 00:24:48,748 Stop! 498 00:24:48,791 --> 00:24:51,228 Hailey... 499 00:24:51,272 --> 00:24:54,144 ♪ 500 00:24:54,188 --> 00:24:55,711 This is what Smoothie wants. 501 00:24:55,755 --> 00:24:58,192 (PANTING) 502 00:24:58,235 --> 00:25:01,369 This is what he's wanted from the beginning. 503 00:25:01,412 --> 00:25:08,376 ♪ 504 00:25:08,419 --> 00:25:10,160 I'm not doing this for him, Dad. 505 00:25:10,204 --> 00:25:13,120 ♪ 506 00:25:13,163 --> 00:25:16,602 I'm doing it for me. 507 00:25:16,645 --> 00:25:19,648 (WHOOSHING) 508 00:25:25,698 --> 00:25:26,742 (GRUNTS) 509 00:25:26,786 --> 00:25:28,048 (CROWD SCREAMING) 510 00:25:28,091 --> 00:25:29,571 Nick! 511 00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:36,447 ♪ 512 00:25:36,491 --> 00:25:39,450 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 513 00:25:39,494 --> 00:25:46,501 ♪ 514 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:52,551 (GUNSHOT) 515 00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:53,595 (AUDIENCE SCREAMING) 516 00:25:53,639 --> 00:25:55,684 (GUNSHOT) 517 00:25:55,728 --> 00:25:59,427 (SCREAMING, CHATTER) 518 00:25:59,470 --> 00:26:02,343 ♪ When Sonny gets blue 519 00:26:02,386 --> 00:26:04,563 ♪ Hey eyes get 520 00:26:04,606 --> 00:26:08,218 (GUNSHOT) 521 00:26:08,262 --> 00:26:11,134 ♪ Then the rain begins 522 00:26:11,178 --> 00:26:14,573 ♪ To fall 523 00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:16,487 (AUDIENCE GASPING) 524 00:26:16,531 --> 00:26:19,360 ♪ Pitter, patter, pitter, patter ♪ 525 00:26:19,403 --> 00:26:20,666 Sonny, Sonny! 526 00:26:20,709 --> 00:26:25,409 ♪ Love is gone so what can matter ♪ 527 00:26:25,453 --> 00:26:26,410 ♪ No sweet lovin' man 528 00:26:26,454 --> 00:26:27,586 Sundrops. 529 00:26:27,629 --> 00:26:29,631 ♪ Comes to call 530 00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:31,328 All my little sundrops. 531 00:26:31,372 --> 00:26:33,896 Oh... (LAUGHS, COUGHS) 532 00:26:33,940 --> 00:26:36,377 (SNIFFS, GROANS) 533 00:26:36,420 --> 00:26:41,382 ♪ She breathes a sigh of sadness ♪ 534 00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:44,254 ♪ Like the wind that stirs 535 00:26:44,298 --> 00:26:46,517 Boop. (COUGHS) 536 00:26:46,561 --> 00:26:48,650 (SNIFFS) You're not... 537 00:26:48,694 --> 00:26:51,740 You're not the fu... You're not the future. 538 00:26:51,784 --> 00:26:53,394 No. 539 00:26:53,437 --> 00:26:54,676 You're not... Can I get a selfie? 540 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:56,702 You're not the future. 541 00:26:56,745 --> 00:26:58,747 ♪ 542 00:26:58,791 --> 00:27:01,750 I'm the... I'm the... 543 00:27:01,794 --> 00:27:03,622 I'm the fu... 544 00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:05,624 I'm the future. 545 00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:06,668 I... 546 00:27:06,712 --> 00:27:08,801 ♪ People used to love 547 00:27:08,844 --> 00:27:12,413 ♪ Hear her laugh, see her smile ♪ 548 00:27:12,456 --> 00:27:14,284 (SOMBER CHATTER) 549 00:27:14,328 --> 00:27:17,331 ♪ That's how she got her name ♪ 550 00:27:17,374 --> 00:27:20,334 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 551 00:27:20,377 --> 00:27:23,250 ♪ 552 00:27:23,293 --> 00:27:27,689 This is the NYPD! This is an active crime scene! 553 00:27:27,733 --> 00:27:30,649 If you remain in this area, you are in danger. 554 00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:33,347 - Evacuate immediately. - Huh. 555 00:27:33,390 --> 00:27:35,610 Move calmly and swiftly to the nearest exit. 556 00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:37,264 Repeat, you are... 557 00:27:37,307 --> 00:27:38,482 - Dad, Dad, Dad. - Shh. 558 00:27:38,526 --> 00:27:39,875 Dad, I'm... I'm sorry. 559 00:27:39,919 --> 00:27:41,790 Shh, no, no, no. 560 00:27:41,834 --> 00:27:43,550 Calmly and swiftly to the nearest exit. 561 00:27:43,574 --> 00:27:45,794 It's not your fault. I did this. 562 00:27:45,838 --> 00:27:47,970 I'm sorry I said I wanted things to go back 563 00:27:48,014 --> 00:27:49,798 to the way the used to be. 564 00:27:49,842 --> 00:27:51,844 I didn't mean it, I didn't. 565 00:27:51,887 --> 00:27:53,497 I know. 566 00:27:53,541 --> 00:27:56,718 It's okay. 567 00:27:56,762 --> 00:27:59,503 You never needed a fake dad anyway. 568 00:27:59,547 --> 00:28:01,810 You're not a fake dad. 569 00:28:01,854 --> 00:28:03,594 ♪ 570 00:28:03,638 --> 00:28:05,814 You're real... 571 00:28:05,858 --> 00:28:09,209 and I don't want you to go. 572 00:28:09,252 --> 00:28:11,733 (SOMBER MUSIC) 573 00:28:11,777 --> 00:28:14,736 (LABORED BREATHING) 574 00:28:14,780 --> 00:28:16,303 ♪ 575 00:28:16,346 --> 00:28:20,002 Move calmly and swiftly to the nearest exit. 576 00:28:20,046 --> 00:28:24,485 ♪ 577 00:28:24,528 --> 00:28:27,706 Drop the weapon! Drop the weapon! 578 00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:30,491 - Any other active shooter? - Ma'am, drop the weapon. 579 00:28:30,534 --> 00:28:32,754 Hands where I can see them. Cover the corners! 580 00:28:35,757 --> 00:28:37,585 Sonny's show was the highest-rated. 581 00:28:37,628 --> 00:28:39,021 Easter Sunday broadcast ever. 582 00:28:39,065 --> 00:28:40,216 By the time he ate the bullet, 583 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,068 he was doing Super Bowl numbers. 584 00:28:42,111 --> 00:28:43,983 He was right, the show was a hit. 585 00:28:44,026 --> 00:28:45,419 It's ironic. 586 00:28:45,462 --> 00:28:47,334 Poor guy never lived to see the overnights. 587 00:28:47,377 --> 00:28:49,989 - I always knew it would work. - What about Brooks? 588 00:28:54,254 --> 00:28:55,385 Replaceable. 589 00:28:55,429 --> 00:28:57,779 No, I mean, shouldn't we say something? 590 00:28:57,823 --> 00:29:00,173 Tell someone? I mean, his family? 591 00:29:00,216 --> 00:29:02,088 Why ruin a great feel-good story? 592 00:29:02,131 --> 00:29:03,891 We should get something going with the guy. 593 00:29:03,916 --> 00:29:05,178 The one who killed Santa Claus. 594 00:29:05,221 --> 00:29:06,527 Now we're talking. 595 00:29:06,570 --> 00:29:08,181 He's like a real-life John McClane. 596 00:29:08,224 --> 00:29:09,835 Exclusive with Fareed Zakaria. 597 00:29:09,878 --> 00:29:12,794 Screw that. Why not his own show? 598 00:29:12,838 --> 00:29:14,380 Wait, wait, let's don't get ahead of ourselves. 599 00:29:14,404 --> 00:29:16,232 Didn't he die? 600 00:29:16,276 --> 00:29:18,800 Get him over. Clear. 601 00:29:18,844 --> 00:29:20,759 (ELECTRICITY ZAPPING) 602 00:29:20,802 --> 00:29:22,456 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 603 00:29:23,413 --> 00:29:24,458 Somebody check that. 604 00:29:24,501 --> 00:29:26,503 (MONITOR FLAT-LINING) 605 00:29:28,854 --> 00:29:30,769 Nick. Wake up, Nick. 606 00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:33,859 - Call it. - Time of death, 9:53 p.m. 607 00:29:33,902 --> 00:29:35,817 All right, that's a wrap. 608 00:29:35,861 --> 00:29:37,819 You wanna grab margaritas at Chili's? 609 00:29:37,863 --> 00:29:39,952 (SIGHS) Nah, "The Voice" is on tonight. 610 00:29:39,995 --> 00:29:43,129 No, you can't just... This is somebody's father! 611 00:29:43,172 --> 00:29:44,826 Somebody's son! 612 00:29:44,870 --> 00:29:46,828 Somebody's best friend! 613 00:29:46,872 --> 00:29:48,177 Wake him up, Doc! 614 00:29:48,221 --> 00:29:50,223 Use the zappers, come on! 615 00:29:50,266 --> 00:29:52,268 Wait. 616 00:29:53,574 --> 00:29:55,881 Do you feel that? 617 00:29:55,924 --> 00:29:57,447 - That breeze? - No, uh-uh. 618 00:29:57,491 --> 00:29:59,972 No, no, no, don't start that shit, Doc. 619 00:30:00,015 --> 00:30:01,887 That "you can feel the spirit leaving them" 620 00:30:01,930 --> 00:30:04,237 as they slough off the motherfucking mortal coil." 621 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:05,455 I'm not having that shit. 622 00:30:05,499 --> 00:30:07,414 I will walk the fuck right out of here 623 00:30:07,457 --> 00:30:09,808 and you will not see my black ass ever again. 624 00:30:09,851 --> 00:30:11,418 Try me. 625 00:30:11,461 --> 00:30:14,029 Oh, there are millions of "IFs" out there 626 00:30:14,073 --> 00:30:15,422 just like you, Happy. 627 00:30:15,465 --> 00:30:17,554 Waiting for the moment our young friends 628 00:30:17,598 --> 00:30:20,035 stop believing completely... 629 00:30:20,079 --> 00:30:22,908 And we blink out of existence. 630 00:30:22,951 --> 00:30:25,345 When your friend stops believing, you disappear. 631 00:30:25,388 --> 00:30:26,912 I die... 632 00:30:26,955 --> 00:30:29,915 if she dies. 633 00:30:29,958 --> 00:30:33,092 Well, I guess this is it, then. 634 00:30:33,135 --> 00:30:35,355 I've lived, I've loved. 635 00:30:35,398 --> 00:30:38,140 I've done things no other imaginary friend has ever done. 636 00:30:38,184 --> 00:30:40,490 Now it's time for me to go. 637 00:30:40,534 --> 00:30:42,449 The great pineapple pasture in the sky 638 00:30:42,492 --> 00:30:46,279 where IFs frolic forever under clown-colored clouds. 639 00:30:46,322 --> 00:30:48,411 Goodbye, sweet world. 640 00:30:48,455 --> 00:30:51,937 Goodbye, Hailey, wherever you are. 641 00:30:51,980 --> 00:30:54,330 Goodbye, partner. 642 00:31:02,512 --> 00:31:04,863 I'm... 643 00:31:04,906 --> 00:31:06,995 not dead. 644 00:31:09,171 --> 00:31:11,260 Why the heck ain't I dead? 645 00:31:14,263 --> 00:31:17,136 (ANGELIC CLASSICAL MUSIC) 646 00:31:17,179 --> 00:31:24,186 ♪ 647 00:31:33,369 --> 00:31:35,502 Welcome, Nick. 648 00:31:35,545 --> 00:31:38,940 Size doesn't matter here. 649 00:31:38,984 --> 00:31:40,942 ♪ 650 00:31:40,986 --> 00:31:42,944 My breasts are filled 651 00:31:42,988 --> 00:31:46,513 with the finest bourbons. 652 00:31:46,556 --> 00:31:50,691 Suckle them for eternity. 653 00:31:50,734 --> 00:31:56,610 ♪ 654 00:32:07,229 --> 00:32:09,275 Hello, Nick. 655 00:32:11,668 --> 00:32:13,279 Motherfucker. 656 00:32:13,322 --> 00:32:15,126 If you're gonna cock-block me for all eternity, 657 00:32:15,150 --> 00:32:16,325 we're gonna have a problem. 658 00:32:16,369 --> 00:32:18,501 No, no, Nick, I just come here sometimes. 659 00:32:18,545 --> 00:32:21,069 You know, pop into the party. 660 00:32:21,113 --> 00:32:25,291 Which is absolutely fucking bestial. 661 00:32:25,334 --> 00:32:27,597 (LAUGHS) No, but I wanted 662 00:32:27,641 --> 00:32:30,383 to tell you, Nick, it doesn't have to be this way. 663 00:32:30,426 --> 00:32:32,385 You can turn back. 664 00:32:32,428 --> 00:32:35,040 I don't think you got the memo, asshole. 665 00:32:35,083 --> 00:32:36,519 I flat-lined. Bellied up. 666 00:32:36,563 --> 00:32:38,478 Bagged and tagged. 667 00:32:38,521 --> 00:32:40,349 Man, is it hot in here. 668 00:32:40,393 --> 00:32:41,568 I can still bring you back. 669 00:32:41,611 --> 00:32:43,265 What the fuck would I want that for? 670 00:32:43,309 --> 00:32:46,138 I been dreaming of this moment my entire life. 671 00:32:46,181 --> 00:32:47,966 (TENSE MUSIC) 672 00:32:48,009 --> 00:32:50,229 What about your little girl? 673 00:32:50,272 --> 00:32:51,708 ♪ 674 00:32:51,752 --> 00:32:53,406 Let's face facts. 675 00:32:53,449 --> 00:32:56,148 I think there's one thing we've all learned here. 676 00:32:56,191 --> 00:32:57,976 ♪ 677 00:32:58,019 --> 00:33:00,674 That she's better off without me. 678 00:33:00,717 --> 00:33:04,634 Hmm, difficult point to argue. 679 00:33:04,678 --> 00:33:08,247 Oh, then there is the small matter of revenge. 680 00:33:08,290 --> 00:33:11,728 ♪ 681 00:33:11,772 --> 00:33:13,992 "Revenge"? 682 00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:15,447 I don't have a vengeful bone in my body. 683 00:33:15,471 --> 00:33:18,431 Oh, Nick, don't be tedious. Of course you do. 684 00:33:18,474 --> 00:33:21,608 Everybody loves revenge. 685 00:33:21,651 --> 00:33:25,090 I mean, can you really shuffle off to the great beyond 686 00:33:25,133 --> 00:33:27,657 knowing that the man who bested you 687 00:33:27,701 --> 00:33:29,050 is still out there somewhere? 688 00:33:29,094 --> 00:33:30,486 Can you? 689 00:33:30,530 --> 00:33:32,793 You know who I'm talking about. 690 00:33:32,836 --> 00:33:34,490 Tick, tock, time to rock. 691 00:33:34,534 --> 00:33:37,406 I'm going to show you why they call me... 692 00:33:37,450 --> 00:33:38,538 Smoothie. 693 00:33:38,581 --> 00:33:40,453 Yes. 694 00:33:40,496 --> 00:33:43,717 ♪ 695 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,589 But there's the finest bourbon. 696 00:33:46,633 --> 00:33:51,116 ♪ 697 00:33:51,159 --> 00:33:52,421 (CHUCKLES) 698 00:33:52,465 --> 00:33:54,728 Why is it so hot in here? 699 00:33:54,771 --> 00:33:56,121 (GAS HISSING) 700 00:33:56,164 --> 00:33:59,472 Death drums his fingers and waits for us all, 701 00:33:59,515 --> 00:34:01,648 even me. 702 00:34:01,691 --> 00:34:03,606 I think he can wait a little longer. 703 00:34:03,650 --> 00:34:05,304 Don't you? 704 00:34:05,347 --> 00:34:10,265 ♪ 705 00:34:10,309 --> 00:34:12,093 Well, maybe just a little bit longer. 706 00:34:12,137 --> 00:34:14,313 Splendid! (LAUGHING) 707 00:34:14,356 --> 00:34:16,402 - Ooh, one small thing. - Yeah? 708 00:34:16,445 --> 00:34:18,708 If I bring you back, you belong to me for all time. 709 00:34:18,752 --> 00:34:20,275 - Okay? - What? 710 00:34:20,319 --> 00:34:23,278 (GAS HISSING) 711 00:34:23,322 --> 00:34:29,719 ♪ 712 00:34:29,763 --> 00:34:32,722 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 713 00:34:32,766 --> 00:34:39,773 ♪ 714 00:34:43,472 --> 00:34:46,432 (FLAMES ROARING) 715 00:34:46,475 --> 00:34:49,435 (TENSE MUSIC) 716 00:34:49,478 --> 00:34:52,699 ♪ 717 00:34:54,309 --> 00:34:56,311 I've woken up worse. 718 00:35:00,228 --> 00:35:02,012 Okay, Hansen. 719 00:35:02,056 --> 00:35:04,102 Your ride's here. 720 00:35:04,145 --> 00:35:05,668 Is it grandma? 721 00:35:05,712 --> 00:35:08,062 No, honey, it's your aunt. 722 00:35:08,106 --> 00:35:10,064 I have an aunt? 723 00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:13,067 (CURIOUS MUSIC) 724 00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:16,157 Nice jacket. 725 00:35:16,201 --> 00:35:18,681 It's supposed to make me look more normal. 726 00:35:18,725 --> 00:35:20,727 I'm sure you can relate. 727 00:35:20,770 --> 00:35:22,685 It's not working. 728 00:35:22,729 --> 00:35:25,035 ♪ 729 00:35:25,079 --> 00:35:27,777 I don't understand. 730 00:35:27,821 --> 00:35:31,694 Well, your mom and dad listed me as your next of kin. 731 00:35:31,738 --> 00:35:35,133 So, looks like I got a roommate for a while. 732 00:35:35,176 --> 00:35:37,047 ♪ 733 00:35:37,091 --> 00:35:39,180 Why would she put me with you? 734 00:35:39,224 --> 00:35:40,834 Maybe she thought you could use 735 00:35:40,877 --> 00:35:43,141 a good female role model. 736 00:35:51,236 --> 00:35:53,890 What happened to your hand? 737 00:35:53,934 --> 00:35:57,024 Story for another day. 738 00:35:57,067 --> 00:35:59,983 Feet off the dash. 739 00:36:00,027 --> 00:36:01,811 (MR. MISTER'S "BOOK OF LOVE") 740 00:36:01,855 --> 00:36:03,726 (BARKS, GROWLS) 741 00:36:03,770 --> 00:36:06,207 ♪ 742 00:36:06,251 --> 00:36:08,078 Where is everyone? 743 00:36:08,122 --> 00:36:10,994 You live under a mushroom or something? 744 00:36:11,038 --> 00:36:13,954 Not you. 745 00:36:13,997 --> 00:36:16,870 - I don't understand. - Oh, sorry. 746 00:36:16,913 --> 00:36:21,091 I guess you missed the IF mass genocide on Sunday. 747 00:36:21,135 --> 00:36:23,355 That Bob's Big Boy-looking perv all the kids love 748 00:36:23,398 --> 00:36:25,095 got murdered on national television. 749 00:36:25,139 --> 00:36:27,228 No big deal. I'm sure you can DVR it. 750 00:36:27,272 --> 00:36:29,926 Oh, that. 751 00:36:29,970 --> 00:36:31,624 I was there. 752 00:36:31,667 --> 00:36:33,016 Dude. 753 00:36:33,060 --> 00:36:34,104 I'm sorry. 754 00:36:34,148 --> 00:36:35,932 Oh, forget it. 755 00:36:35,976 --> 00:36:37,934 The usual? On the house, man. 756 00:36:37,978 --> 00:36:39,893 No, thanks. 757 00:36:39,936 --> 00:36:42,025 Hey, you haven't seen Peep around, have you? 758 00:36:42,069 --> 00:36:44,376 Peep? Yeah, she's here. 759 00:36:44,419 --> 00:36:46,378 I let her use the back room. 760 00:36:46,421 --> 00:36:50,425 Hey, wait, you probably don't want to go back there. 761 00:36:50,469 --> 00:36:52,122 Suit yourself, buddy. 762 00:36:52,166 --> 00:36:55,125 (BOTH MOANING) 763 00:36:55,169 --> 00:36:56,779 Oh, yes, sir! 764 00:36:56,823 --> 00:36:58,128 Yes, sir! 765 00:36:58,172 --> 00:36:59,782 Three bags full! 766 00:36:59,826 --> 00:37:01,741 Bo? (BOTH GASP) 767 00:37:01,784 --> 00:37:04,831 - Ah, crap. - Oh, uh, hey, Happy. 768 00:37:06,136 --> 00:37:09,139 What's good, man? 769 00:37:09,183 --> 00:37:10,271 (CHATTERING) 770 00:37:10,315 --> 00:37:11,838 ♪ The voices sing 771 00:37:11,881 --> 00:37:14,275 ♪ The book of love will open up ♪ 772 00:37:14,319 --> 00:37:16,146 I was, uh... 773 00:37:16,190 --> 00:37:17,800 distraught? 774 00:37:17,844 --> 00:37:20,977 ♪ Take these broken wings 775 00:37:21,021 --> 00:37:23,197 ♪ You've got to learn to fly 776 00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:26,026 ♪ Learn to live, love so free ♪ 777 00:37:26,069 --> 00:37:28,333 ♪ And when we hear 778 00:37:28,376 --> 00:37:31,727 You'll be all right there for a while. 779 00:37:31,771 --> 00:37:34,948 Merry lost her father, too, you know. 780 00:37:35,992 --> 00:37:37,211 I just want you to know 781 00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:39,996 that none of this is your fault. 782 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,695 We all just did what we had to do. 783 00:37:42,738 --> 00:37:44,262 That's all. 784 00:37:44,305 --> 00:37:47,265 (DARK MUSIC) 785 00:37:47,308 --> 00:37:50,006 ♪ 786 00:37:50,050 --> 00:37:52,270 I'm coming for you. 787 00:37:52,313 --> 00:37:54,010 You stay strong, Hailey. 788 00:37:54,054 --> 00:37:55,925 I promise, no matter what it takes, 789 00:37:55,969 --> 00:38:00,016 I will come for you. 790 00:38:00,060 --> 00:38:03,019 No, Mom. 791 00:38:03,063 --> 00:38:05,761 I'll come for you. 792 00:38:05,805 --> 00:38:08,764 (DARK ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 793 00:38:08,808 --> 00:38:12,768 ♪ 794 00:38:12,812 --> 00:38:15,771 (CARS HONKING) 795 00:38:15,815 --> 00:38:22,822 ♪ 796 00:38:39,404 --> 00:38:40,405 (DOG BARKING) 797 00:38:40,448 --> 00:38:41,841 Hey, hey, hey! 798 00:38:41,884 --> 00:38:44,060 Da-da-da-da, yeah, you. 799 00:38:44,104 --> 00:38:51,111 ♪ 800 00:38:53,809 --> 00:38:55,245 Don't look at that! 801 00:38:55,289 --> 00:38:57,291 Look at this! 802 00:38:57,335 --> 00:39:04,342 ♪ 803 00:39:10,435 --> 00:39:13,394 (CARS HONKING) 804 00:39:13,438 --> 00:39:15,831 ♪ 805 00:39:15,875 --> 00:39:19,444 (GRUMBLES) 806 00:39:19,487 --> 00:39:21,881 (GROANING) 807 00:39:21,924 --> 00:39:23,839 (WHOOSHING) 808 00:39:23,883 --> 00:39:27,800 (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC) 809 00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:31,238 (LABORED BREATHING) 810 00:39:31,281 --> 00:39:34,154 I always thought I knew what my purpose was, 811 00:39:34,197 --> 00:39:36,591 but that's all gone now. 812 00:39:36,635 --> 00:39:38,332 I don't even know what I am anymore. 813 00:39:38,376 --> 00:39:40,856 What the heck am I? 814 00:39:40,900 --> 00:39:42,292 That's a very good question. 815 00:39:42,336 --> 00:39:44,425 That's a very good question. 816 00:39:44,469 --> 00:39:47,123 You seem to be, like, a kind of a mash-up 817 00:39:47,167 --> 00:39:50,431 of random images from a child's brain 818 00:39:50,475 --> 00:39:54,566 that's, uh, obtained some kind of autonomy. 819 00:39:54,609 --> 00:39:56,350 Isn't that wild? 820 00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:57,960 God? 821 00:39:58,004 --> 00:40:01,442 Let's call me, uh, an imaginary friend. 822 00:40:01,486 --> 00:40:05,925 Only, my friend, uh, happens to be, you know, 823 00:40:05,968 --> 00:40:07,448 a whole civilization. 824 00:40:07,492 --> 00:40:09,189 At this point, thankfully, 825 00:40:09,232 --> 00:40:13,019 an ever-dwindling portion of civilization. 826 00:40:13,062 --> 00:40:14,629 That's a funny name for it, isn't it? 827 00:40:14,673 --> 00:40:16,283 "Civilization." 828 00:40:16,326 --> 00:40:18,328 Geez, insects are more civilized. 829 00:40:18,372 --> 00:40:20,635 You, an... an imaginary friend? 830 00:40:20,679 --> 00:40:23,856 That's silly, everyone believes in you. 831 00:40:23,899 --> 00:40:25,466 They do? 832 00:40:25,510 --> 00:40:27,512 Really? (SCOFFS) 833 00:40:27,555 --> 00:40:28,600 To tell you the truth, 834 00:40:28,643 --> 00:40:30,253 I got days when I feel just like you. 835 00:40:30,297 --> 00:40:32,473 Like, "What the hell am I even doing up here?" 836 00:40:32,517 --> 00:40:34,040 I mean, yes, you're right. 837 00:40:34,083 --> 00:40:36,869 People... people talk about me, 838 00:40:36,912 --> 00:40:39,915 but they don't really believe. 839 00:40:39,959 --> 00:40:42,396 I mean, they pretend to. 840 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,442 But look at them. 841 00:40:44,485 --> 00:40:46,095 Geez. 842 00:40:46,139 --> 00:40:47,967 But, you know, that's exactly my point. 843 00:40:48,010 --> 00:40:50,883 Every day, I hear these sanctimonious assholes saying, 844 00:40:50,926 --> 00:40:53,494 "God told me this," and "God spoke to me that." 845 00:40:53,538 --> 00:40:56,018 Um, n-no. 846 00:40:56,062 --> 00:40:58,107 No, I did... did not. 847 00:40:58,151 --> 00:41:00,675 I dunno what voice you're hearing, 848 00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,199 but, uh, it's not mine. 849 00:41:03,243 --> 00:41:04,374 Not mine. 850 00:41:04,418 --> 00:41:05,941 But what about prayers? 851 00:41:05,985 --> 00:41:08,509 Prayers? That's... that's for them. 852 00:41:08,553 --> 00:41:11,512 That's not for me, not for us. 853 00:41:11,556 --> 00:41:13,514 Uh, hey, if I played favorites 854 00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:17,039 based on who, uh, stroked my ego more, 855 00:41:17,083 --> 00:41:18,214 you know, what kind of... 856 00:41:18,258 --> 00:41:19,564 What kind of jagoff would I be? 857 00:41:19,607 --> 00:41:21,609 No, prayers, mm, 858 00:41:21,653 --> 00:41:24,046 are like those buttons at the crosswalk. 859 00:41:24,090 --> 00:41:26,571 You press them to make you feel better, 860 00:41:26,614 --> 00:41:28,398 but you're not gonna change the traffic 861 00:41:28,442 --> 00:41:29,922 by hitting a button. 862 00:41:29,965 --> 00:41:31,576 If I were you, here's what I'd do: 863 00:41:31,619 --> 00:41:33,578 I'd focus on doing what I do best. 864 00:41:33,621 --> 00:41:35,057 Being a friend. 865 00:41:35,101 --> 00:41:37,059 Forget the "imaginary" part. 866 00:41:37,103 --> 00:41:38,539 The... the nice lady is rotting away 867 00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:40,585 in the stoney lonesome for manslaughter. 868 00:41:40,628 --> 00:41:42,325 The little girl is about to turn into 869 00:41:42,369 --> 00:41:44,545 some kind of witch assassin 870 00:41:44,589 --> 00:41:48,157 on the trail of an evil, secret society. 871 00:41:48,201 --> 00:41:50,420 It's very dangerous, man. 872 00:41:50,464 --> 00:41:53,423 And, you know, Sax, the idiot? 873 00:41:53,467 --> 00:41:55,208 You know, he's a half-zombie 874 00:41:55,251 --> 00:41:59,255 in the service of some kind of schizophrenic demi-god. 875 00:41:59,299 --> 00:42:02,128 But Nick's dead. 876 00:42:02,171 --> 00:42:04,652 Um, yeah, well, you might wanna... 877 00:42:04,696 --> 00:42:06,567 You might wanna check on that. 878 00:42:06,611 --> 00:42:08,656 Good talk, good talk. 879 00:42:08,700 --> 00:42:10,092 I got to ghost, man. 880 00:42:10,136 --> 00:42:12,094 You know, this ain't my only gig. 881 00:42:12,138 --> 00:42:15,010 Huh, maybe my time here is... 882 00:42:15,054 --> 00:42:16,446 Is coming to an end. 883 00:42:16,490 --> 00:42:18,361 Huh. 884 00:42:18,405 --> 00:42:20,538 (THUNDER RUMBLES) 885 00:42:20,581 --> 00:42:23,018 Anyway, ball up. 886 00:42:23,062 --> 00:42:25,717 Ball up, little... little horsey. 887 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:27,370 Drop those tiny blue testicles, 888 00:42:27,414 --> 00:42:31,418 'cause this shit's about to get, uh, dark. 889 00:42:31,461 --> 00:42:34,595 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 890 00:42:36,641 --> 00:42:39,600 (GENTLE MUSIC) 891 00:42:39,644 --> 00:42:46,041 ♪ 892 00:42:47,477 --> 00:42:49,349 Hey, uh, this came for you today. 893 00:42:49,392 --> 00:42:52,134 It's from Europe. 894 00:42:52,178 --> 00:42:54,572 Thank you. I've been waiting for this. 895 00:42:54,615 --> 00:42:57,575 (TENSE MUSIC) 896 00:42:57,618 --> 00:43:01,579 ♪ 897 00:43:36,788 --> 00:43:39,747 (NEW ORDER'S "BLUE MONDAY" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 898 00:43:39,791 --> 00:43:44,665 ♪ 899 00:43:44,709 --> 00:43:46,667 (SIGHS) 900 00:43:46,711 --> 00:43:52,368 ♪ 901 00:43:52,412 --> 00:43:54,196 (GRUNTS) 902 00:43:54,240 --> 00:44:01,247 ♪ 903 00:44:07,862 --> 00:44:10,343 (SIGHS) 904 00:44:10,386 --> 00:44:12,084 How? 905 00:44:12,127 --> 00:44:15,609 ♪ 906 00:44:15,653 --> 00:44:17,698 (GRUNTS) 907 00:44:17,742 --> 00:44:23,661 ♪ 908 00:44:23,704 --> 00:44:26,185 (BOTH GRUNT) 909 00:44:26,228 --> 00:44:29,449 I am so happy right now. 910 00:44:29,492 --> 00:44:30,842 - Me, too. - I thought you were... 911 00:44:30,885 --> 00:44:32,582 Dead. I know, right? 912 00:44:32,626 --> 00:44:33,864 Bullet to the chest from your daughter, 913 00:44:33,888 --> 00:44:35,498 autopsy, incinerator. 914 00:44:35,542 --> 00:44:36,848 Mere trifles. 915 00:44:36,891 --> 00:44:38,564 And then you wouldn't have been able to... 916 00:44:38,588 --> 00:44:41,156 - Kill you myself. - Exactly. 917 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:42,636 ♪ 918 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,117 You know, for people like us, 919 00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:49,164 it's never easy to find a worthy adversary. 920 00:44:49,208 --> 00:44:51,732 A truly meaningful death. 921 00:44:51,776 --> 00:44:54,517 I know exactly what you mean. 922 00:44:54,561 --> 00:44:57,738 ♪ 923 00:44:57,782 --> 00:44:59,435 Enough with the chitchat. 924 00:44:59,479 --> 00:45:01,786 Ah, I want you to know... 925 00:45:01,829 --> 00:45:04,136 that I have enjoyed our tango. 926 00:45:04,179 --> 00:45:06,878 (SIGHS) 927 00:45:06,921 --> 00:45:09,750 - Goodbye, Smoothie. - See ya. 928 00:45:09,794 --> 00:45:13,754 ♪ Tell me how do I feel 929 00:45:13,798 --> 00:45:17,845 ♪ Tell me now how do I feel ♪ 930 00:45:19,673 --> 00:45:21,283 So... (SNIFFS) 931 00:45:21,327 --> 00:45:23,721 What do you want to be for Halloween this year? 932 00:45:23,764 --> 00:45:25,723 Hmm. 933 00:45:25,766 --> 00:45:28,726 (SINISTER MUSIC) 934 00:45:28,769 --> 00:45:35,733 ♪ 935 00:45:37,822 --> 00:45:39,301 I know! 936 00:45:39,345 --> 00:45:41,782 How about psycho Santa Claus? 937 00:45:41,826 --> 00:45:43,305 ♪ 938 00:45:43,349 --> 00:45:44,567 No? 939 00:45:44,611 --> 00:45:46,787 All right, honey, you okay? 940 00:45:46,831 --> 00:45:53,794 ♪ 58811

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