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Current theories on
the creation of the universe state
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00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,280
that if it were created
at all and didn't just start,
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00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,880
as it were, unofficially,
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00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,440
it came into being about
14 billion years ago.
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00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,040
The Earth is generally
supposed to be
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00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,560
about 4 1/2 billion
years old.
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00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,840
These dates are incorrect.
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00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:34,000
Some medieval scholars put the
date of the creation at 3760 BC.
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00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,360
Others put creation
as far back as 5508 BC.
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00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,520
Also, incorrect.
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00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,080
Archbishop James Ussher
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00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,960
claimed that the Heaven
and the Earth
13
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,720
were created on Sunday,
the 21st of October, 4004 BC,
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00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,920
at 9:00 a.m.
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00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,600
This too was incorrect,
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00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,440
by almost a quarter
of an hour.
17
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,280
It was created at 9:13
in the morning.
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00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,440
Which was correct.
19
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,840
The whole business with the
fossilised dinosaur skeletons
20
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,160
was a joke the palaeontologists
haven't seen yet.
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00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,040
This proves two things.
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00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,120
Firstly, that God does not
play dice with the universe.
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00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,920
I play an ineffable game
of my own devising.
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00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,200
For everyone else,
it's like playing poker
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00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,360
in a pitch-dark room,
for infinite stakes,
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00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,520
with a dealer who won't
tell you the rules,
27
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,120
and who smiles all the time.
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00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:28,040
Secondly,
the Earth is a Libra.
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00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:33,120
The entry for Libra
in The Tadfield Advertiser
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00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,440
on the night our history
begins reads as follows:
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00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:37,760
"You may be feeling rundown
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00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,720
and always
in the same daily round.
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00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,680
A friend is important to you.
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00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,440
You may be vulnerable
to a stomach upset today,
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00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,840
so avoid salads.
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00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,240
Help could come from
an unexpected quarter."
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00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,560
This was perfectly correct
on every count,
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00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,640
except for the bit
about the salads.
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00:01:57,920 --> 00:01:59,600
To understand the true
significance
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00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:00,960
of what that means,
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00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,760
we need to begin earlier.
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00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,160
A little more than 6,000 years
earlier, to be precise.
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00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,320
Just after the beginning.
44
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,440
It starts, as it will end,
with a garden.
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00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,760
In this case,
the Garden of Eden.
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00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,880
And with an apple.
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00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,320
Go on.
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00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,400
This apple will give you...
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00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,440
It was a nice day.
50
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,320
All the days had been nice.
51
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,800
There had been rather
more than seven of them so far,
52
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,680
and rain hadn't
been invented yet.
53
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,680
But the storm clouds
gathering east of Eden
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00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,280
suggested that the first
thunderstorm was on its way.
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00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,080
And it was going
to be a big one.
56
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,280
Well, that went down
like a lead balloon.
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00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,040
Sorry, what was that?
58
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,280
I said, "Well, that went down
like a lead balloon."
59
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:43,400
Yes, yes, it did, rather.
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00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,120
Bit of an overreaction,
if you ask me.
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00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:47,680
First offence
and everything.
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00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,480
I can't see what's so bad
63
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,160
about knowing the difference
between good and evil anyway.
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00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,720
Well, it must be bad...
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00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:00,760
- Crawley.
- ...Crawley.
66
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,320
Otherwise...
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00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,680
you wouldn't have
tempted them into it.
68
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,040
Oh, they just said, "Get up
there and make some trouble."
69
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,760
Well, obviously.
You're a demon.
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00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,360
It's what you do.
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00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,320
Not very subtle
of the Almighty, though.
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00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,776
Fruit tree in the middle
of a garden
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00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,480
with a "Don't Touch" sign.
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00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,800
I mean, why not put it
on the top of a high mountain?
75
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,640
Or on the moon?
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00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,200
Makes you wonder
what God's really planning.
77
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:27,680
Best not to speculate.
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00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,920
It's all part
of the Great Plan.
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00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,360
It's not for us
to understand.
80
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,800
It's ineffable.
81
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,920
The Great Plan's ineffable?
82
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,240
Exactly.
83
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,240
It is beyond understanding
84
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,360
and incapable of being put
into words.
85
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,440
Didn't you have
a flaming sword?
86
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,680
- Uh...
- You did. It was flaming like anything.
87
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,080
What happened to it?
88
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,800
Uh...
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00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,040
Lost it already, have you?
90
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,880
- Gave it away.
- You what?
91
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:58,640
I gave it away.
92
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,560
There are vicious animals.
93
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,560
It's going to be cold out there.
And she's expecting already.
94
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,920
And I said, "Here you go.
Flaming sword. Don't thank me.
95
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,680
And don't let the sun
go down on you here."
96
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,560
I do hope I didn't do
the wrong thing.
97
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,200
Oh, you're an angel.
98
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,480
I don't think you can
do the wrong thing.
99
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,360
Oh, oh, thank...
100
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,000
Oh, thank you.
101
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,520
It's been bothering me.
102
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,120
I've been worrying, too.
103
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,680
What if I did
the right thing
104
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,520
with the whole
"eat the apple" business?
105
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:31,696
A demon can get
into a lot of trouble
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00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,320
for doing the right thing.
107
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,416
It'd be funny if we both
got it wrong, eh?
108
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,960
If I did the good thing
and you did the bad one.
109
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,000
No.
110
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,000
It wouldn't
be funny at all.
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00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,760
Well...
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00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:55,160
Good Omens, being
a narrative of certain events
113
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,760
occurring in the last 11 years
of human history,
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00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,080
in strict accordance,
as shall be shown,
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00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,560
with The Nice
and Accurate Prophecies
116
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,200
of Agnes Nutter, Witch.
117
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,920
It wasn't a dark
and stormy night.
118
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,880
But, don't let the weather
fool you.
119
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,720
Just because it's a mild night
120
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,160
doesn't mean that the forces
of evil aren't abroad.
121
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:43,280
They are.
122
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,440
They are everywhere.
123
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,280
Two demons lurk
at the edge of the graveyard.
124
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,200
They are pacing themselves,
125
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,880
and can lurk for the rest
of the night, if necessary.
126
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,120
With still enough
sullen menace left
127
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,520
for a final burst
of lurking around dawn.
128
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,120
Bugger this for a lark.
129
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,360
He should have been
waiting for us.
130
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,600
Do you trust him?
131
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,760
- Nope.
- Good.
132
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,080
It'd be a funny old world
if demons went around
133
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,600
trusting each other.
134
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:38,520
What's he calling himself
up here these days?
135
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:40,880
Crowley.
136
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,360
Here he comes now,
the flash bastard.
137
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,520
If you ask me,
he's been up here too long.
138
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:59,200
Gone native.
Enjoying himself too much.
139
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,000
Wearing sunglasses,
even when he doesn't need them.
140
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,640
- All hail Satan.
- All hail Satan.
141
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,840
Uh, hi, guys.
Sorry I'm late,
142
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,760
but you know how it
is on the A40 at Denham.
143
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,600
I tried to cut up
towards Chorleywood...
144
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:13,760
Now that we art all here, let us
recount the deeds of the day.
145
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,320
Of course.
146
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,720
Deeds, yeah.
147
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,280
I have tempted a priest.
148
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,720
As he walked down the street,
149
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,440
he saw all the pretty girls
in the sun.
150
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,280
I put doubt into his mind.
151
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,760
He would have been
a saint.
152
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,360
Now, within a decade,
we shall have him.
153
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,520
Yeah, nice one.
154
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,720
I have corrupted a politician.
155
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:37,040
Let him think that a tiny bribe
wouldn't hurt.
156
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:40,120
Within a year,
we shall have him.
157
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,960
Right, you'll like this.
158
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:46,520
I brought down every London area
mobile phone network tonight.
159
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,880
- Yeah?
- Yeah. It wasn't easy...
160
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,640
And what exactly has that done
to secure souls for our master?
161
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,000
Oh, come on,
think about it.
162
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,520
Fifteen million
pissed-off people
163
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,880
who take it out
on each other.
164
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,600
It's not exactly...
craftsmanship.
165
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,440
Well, head office
don't seem to mind.
166
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,400
They love me down there, guys.
167
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,520
Times are changing. So...
168
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,200
...what's up?
169
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,120
This is.
170
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,000
No.
171
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,960
Yes.
172
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,120
Already?
173
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,720
Yes.
174
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,280
And it's up to me to...?
175
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,440
Yes.
176
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,600
You know, listen, it...
177
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,160
...really isn't my scene.
178
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,400
Your scene.
179
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,440
Your starring role.
180
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:45,720
Take it.
181
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,600
Like you said,
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00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,400
times are changing.
183
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,640
They come to an end,
for a start.
184
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,000
Why me?
185
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,960
Well, they love you
down there.
186
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,600
And what an opportunity.
187
00:10:56,640 --> 00:11:00,320
Ligur here would give
his right arm to be you tonight.
188
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,360
Or someone's right arm, anyway.
189
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:04,800
Sign here.
190
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,400
Now what?
191
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,120
You will receive
your instructions.
192
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,920
And why so glum?
193
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,560
The moment we have been
working for all these centuries
194
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:22,800
is at hand.
195
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,240
Centuries?
196
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,200
Our moment of
eternal triumph awaits.
197
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,800
Triumph.
198
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:32,480
And you will be a tool
of that glorious destiny.
199
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,880
Glorious tool. Yeah.
200
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,080
OK.
201
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,800
I'll, um, be off then.
202
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,400
Get it over with.
203
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,056
No, I want to get it over with,
obviously, but,
204
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:44,800
I'll be popping along.
205
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,800
Great. Fine. Yeah.
206
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,240
Ciao!
207
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,640
What's that mean?
208
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:58,560
"Ciao", it's Italian.
209
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,320
It means "food".
210
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:06,720
Crowley was all in favour
of Armageddon in general terms.
211
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,960
But it was one thing to work
to bring it about,
212
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,920
and quite another
for it to actually happen.
213
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,376
- Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit! Shit!
- When Queen
214
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,616
released "Bohemian Rhapsody"...
215
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,000
Shit, shit, shit! Why me?
216
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,920
...in 1975, it was because...
217
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,640
You
earned it, Crowley, didn't you?
218
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:25,160
What you did to the M25 was a
stroke of demonic genius, darling.
219
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,240
The M25? Yeah, well...
220
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,200
Yeah, I'm glad it went down
so well.
221
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,680
Here are your instructions.
222
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,960
This is the big one, Crowley.
223
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,840
Mmm.
224
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:12,280
- Mind if I join you?
- Gabriel?
225
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,640
What an unexpected
pleasure.
226
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:15,880
It's been...
227
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,040
Quite a while, yes.
228
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,040
Why do you
consume that?
229
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:23,720
You're an angel.
230
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,280
It's sushi.
231
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,560
It's nice.
232
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,800
You dip it in soy sauce.
233
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,440
It's what humans do.
234
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,840
And if I am going to be
living here among them,
235
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,000
ahem, well, keeping up
appearances.
236
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,120
- Tea?
- I do not sully the temple
237
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:41,120
of my celestial body
with gross matter.
238
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,920
Obviously not.
239
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,400
- Nice suit.
- Yes, I like the clothes.
240
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,240
Pity they won't be around
much longer.
241
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:49,680
They won't?
242
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,880
We have reliable information
243
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,560
that things... are afoot.
244
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,040
- They are?
- Yes.
245
00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,120
My informant suggests
that the demon... Crowley
246
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,200
may be involved.
247
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,080
You need to keep him
under observation
248
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,640
without, of course, letting him
know that's what you're doing.
249
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,080
I do know, yes.
I've been on Earth doing this
250
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,120
- since the beginning.
- So has Crowley.
251
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,120
It's a miracle
he hasn't spotted you yet.
252
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,400
Yes, I know.
253
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,560
Miracles are what we do.
254
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,320
Meet Deirdre and Arthur Young.
255
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,560
They live in the Oxfordshire
village of Tadfield.
256
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,000
Are we there yet,
Arthur?
257
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,200
I'm four minutes apart.
258
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,960
It's definitely
this way.
259
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,040
It's just the roads
look all different in the dark.
260
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:39,560
The nuns
said to come in
261
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,520
when they were four to five
minutes apart.
262
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,080
It's just an...
263
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,480
Oh, do we have
any egg and cress sandwiches?
264
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:46,640
Oh.
265
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,560
Oh!
266
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,200
Meet Harriet Dowling
267
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,080
and her husband, American
diplomat Thaddeus Dowling.
268
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,520
Breathe, honey. Just breathe.
269
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,400
I am breathing,
goddamn it, Tad!
270
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,360
- Why aren't you here?
- Honey, I'm with you.
271
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,360
I'm with you. I'm just also
here with the President.
272
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,520
Hey, Harriet, sorry
we had to borrow your husband.
273
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,720
Birth is the single
most joyous
274
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,680
co-experience that two human
beings can share,
275
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,480
and I'm not going to miss
a second of it.
276
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,576
Tad, if we could get
back to the matter at hand.
277
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,280
I'll get back to you, honey.
278
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,760
You're meant to be with me,
you useless son of a bi...
279
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,000
At some point
this evening,
280
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,440
Mrs Dowling will arrive.
281
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:37,160
She will undoubtedly have
Secret Service agents with her.
282
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:41,880
You are all to ensure that
they see nothing untoward.
283
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,960
Sister Theresa and I will
deliver the Dowlings' child
284
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,920
in room four.
285
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,480
Once he has been born,
286
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:52,040
we will remove the baby boy
from the mother...
287
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:56,880
and give her back
our master's child.
288
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,520
Everything is ready.
289
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,520
Tonight, it begins.
290
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,800
Sister Mary Loquacious?
291
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,640
Yes, excuse me,
Mother Superior,
292
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,560
I was wondering where the other
baby was going to come from?
293
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,680
Not the American baby.
I mean, that's obvious.
294
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,080
It's just the birds
and the bees.
295
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,040
But, you know, the, um...
296
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,200
Master Crowley
is on his way
297
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,440
with our dark lord-to-be,
Sister Mary.
298
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,680
We do not need
to know more than that.
299
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,640
We are Satanic nuns
300
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,000
of the Chattering Order
of St Beryl.
301
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:37,720
And tonight is what our order
was created for.
302
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,360
Sister Grace,
303
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:41,320
you are on duty reception.
304
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,320
Sisters Maria Verbose
and Katherine Prolix,
305
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:48,400
you will assist
Sister Theresa.
306
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,600
The rest of you
know your duties.
307
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,840
Oh, it's an ambulance!
308
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,440
Places.
309
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,560
Excuse me,
Mother Superior.
310
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,280
I didn't get a job.
Probably an oversight.
311
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:03,160
Yes, of course.
312
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,960
You could make sure
there are biscuits.
313
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,600
The kind with pink icing.
314
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,000
I think we had a tin
in the convent larder.
315
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,400
Clear.
316
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,640
- Breathe, dear, breathe.
- I am breathing. Oh, God!
317
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,280
Excuse me.
Deirdre Young.
318
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,960
Contractions are now four...
four minutes apart!
319
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,440
Oh!
320
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,160
Welcome to St Beryl's,
Mrs Young.
321
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:49,776
We weren't expecting you
till next week.
322
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:53,480
Now, Arthur will be with me
while I'm in labour.
323
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,560
I'm afraid not.
324
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,480
We believe that
fathers just, uh,
325
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,480
complicate the process
for everybody.
326
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,320
We'll let him know
when to come up.
327
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,080
Well, I'm not going
to argue with nuns.
328
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,760
Nurses know what they're doing,
Deirdre.
329
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,520
I'll see you when it's...
330
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,960
She'll be in room three.
331
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,160
Right.
332
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,280
Good... Good luck.
333
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,560
It may help
to understand human affairs
334
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,800
to know that most of the great
triumphs and tragedies of history
335
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,040
are caused not by people being
fundamentally good
336
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,680
or fundamentally bad,
337
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,280
but by people being
fundamentally people.
338
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,800
You've left your lights on.
339
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,520
Oh.
340
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:34,880
Well, that's clever.
341
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,800
- It is infrared?
- Has it started yet?
342
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,040
- Um... they made me go out.
- Any idea how long we've got?
343
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,400
I think we were
getting on with it, doctor.
344
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:45,960
Got it. What room is she in?
345
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,640
- We're in room three.
- Room three, got it.
346
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,160
There's a trick they do
with three playing cards
347
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,800
which is very hard to follow.
348
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,720
And something like it,
for greater stakes
349
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,320
than a handful of loose change,
is about to take place.
350
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,200
Deirdre Young is
in delivery room three.
351
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,560
She has just given birth
to a golden-haired male baby
352
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,400
we will call "Baby A".
353
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:16,280
Harriet Dowling is giving birth
in delivery room four.
354
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,240
She is having
a golden-haired male baby
355
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,400
we will call "Baby B".
356
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,560
Psst.
357
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,800
Sister Mary Loquacious
is about to be handed
358
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,560
a golden-haired male baby
we will call "The Adversary,
359
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:37,400
Destroyer of Kings,
Angel of the Bottomless Pit,
360
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:41,000
Prince of This World
and Lord of Darkness."
361
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,880
- Is that him?
- Yup.
362
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,800
Only I'd expected
funny eyes,
363
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:55,040
or teensy-weensy
little hoofikins.
364
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,280
Or a wittle tail.
365
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,640
It's definitely him.
366
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,520
Fancy me holding
the Antichrist.
367
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,760
Counting his little
toesie-woesies.
368
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:04,920
Do you look like your daddy?
369
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,200
I bet he does.
370
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,920
Do you look like
your daddy-waddykins?
371
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,800
He doesn't.
Take him up to room three.
372
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,880
Room three. Do you think he'll
remember me when he grows up?
373
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,880
Pray that he doesn't.
374
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,920
Three babies.
375
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,720
Watch carefully.
376
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,080
Round and round they go.
377
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,760
Sister Mary,
what are you doing here?
378
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,656
Shouldn't you be taking
biscuits to the refectory?
379
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:32,480
Master Crowley said
to take the baby to room three.
380
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:50,240
Well, get on with it, then.
381
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,240
Has it happened yet?
382
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,040
I'm the father.
The husband. Both.
383
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,320
Oh, yes. Congratulations.
384
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,280
Your lady wife's asleep,
poor pet.
385
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,080
Twins? What?
386
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,240
Nobody said anything
about twins.
387
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,160
Oh, no, no.
This one's yours.
388
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,000
That one's... someone else's.
389
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,800
Just looking after him.
390
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:35,400
No, no, this one is definitely
yours, your ambassadorship,
391
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,840
from the top of his head to
the tips of his hoofy-woofies...
392
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,200
- which he hasn't got.
- Oh.
393
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,080
All, uh, ahem,
present and correct, is he?
394
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:47,240
Oh, yes. He's normal.
Very, very normal.
395
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:50,800
A boy!
396
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,640
Mr President.
397
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,840
I have the honour, sir,
to report myself the father
398
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,680
of a regular
Y-chromosomed son.
399
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,000
Now, we just have to take him
away for a minute to weigh him
400
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,640
and the usual.
401
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,400
This father-of-a-male-boy-son
402
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,280
is all yours,
Mr President.
403
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:10,760
Harriet. Yes!
404
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,440
Where's the baby?
405
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,120
Satan, give me strength.
406
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,960
Do you know where
our master's child is?
407
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:31,920
Sister Mary Loquacious has him
in room three.
408
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,640
Now, we call these biscuits.
409
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,240
But you'll be looking at them
and going, "Oh, cookies."
410
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,120
I call them biscuits.
411
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,840
As methods
of human communication go,
412
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,800
the human wink
is quite versatile.
413
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,120
For example,
Sister Theresa's meant...
414
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:52,720
Where the hell
have you been?
415
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,480
We're ready
to make the switch,
416
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,176
and here's you in the wrong room
with the Adversary,
417
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,480
Destroyer of Kings,
Angel of the Bottomless Pit,
418
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,720
Prince of This World,
Lord of Darkness, drinking tea.
419
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,320
And as far
as she was concerned,
420
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:06,160
Sister Mary's answering wink
meant...
421
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:07,800
This child is the Adversary,
422
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,800
Destroyer of Kings,
Angel of the Bottomless Pit,
423
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,040
Prince of This World
and Lord of Darkness.
424
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:14,520
But I can't talk now, because
there's this outsider here.
425
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,520
Sister Mary,
on the other hand,
426
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,040
had thought that
Sister Theresa's wink
427
00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:20,520
was more on the lines of...
428
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,200
Well done, that,
Sister Mary.
429
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,080
Switched over the babies
all by herself.
430
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,560
Now, indicate to me
the superfluous child,
431
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,880
and I shall remove it
and let you get on with your tea
432
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:32,520
with His Royal Excellency,
the American ambassador.
433
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,800
Extra baby removal.
434
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,320
But I'm wittering on.
435
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,200
Where were you before
you took up this appointment?
436
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,520
Swindon.
437
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,200
Ohh!
438
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:55,600
Here's your little man back,
all cleaned up and weighed.
439
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,640
Look, honey. Our son.
440
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,000
He's beautiful, hon.
441
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:02,880
What a little tyke, huh?
442
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,040
Oh...
443
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:07,880
Seeing him makes me
understand
444
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,920
what's important in life.
445
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,560
It's not work.
446
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,560
I'm going to teach him
to play baseball.
447
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,400
And on Sundays,
we'll go fishing.
448
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,600
Tad!
449
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,720
Sorry, honey,
we'll call you back.
450
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,680
You must name the child.
451
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,000
Well, we were going
to name him Thaddeus,
452
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,000
after his dad
and his dad's dad.
453
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,640
Damien's an excellent name.
454
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,040
Damien Dowling?
455
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:34,880
Too alliterative.
456
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:36,840
Warlock, then.
457
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,680
It's an old English name.
458
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,480
A good name.
459
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,000
Hello, Warlock.
460
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,000
Damien?
461
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,720
No. I'd always fancied
something more,
462
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,680
well, traditional.
463
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,680
We've always gone in for good,
simple names
464
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:02,600
in our family.
465
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:03,880
Cain.
466
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,840
Very modern sound,
Cain, really.
467
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,320
Well, there's always...
468
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,800
I mean, there's always Adam.
469
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:15,840
Adam?
470
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:18,760
Hmm.
471
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:20,800
Adam.
472
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:23,960
Oh!
473
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:25,680
Ooh.
474
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,640
Come on, little one.
475
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:32,160
Do you know,
Deirdre, um...
476
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,560
I think he looks
like an Adam.
477
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,120
Oh.
478
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,080
Hello, Adam.
479
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,816
It would be nice
to think that the nuns
480
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,400
had the surplus baby
discreetly adopted.
481
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,760
That he grew to be
a happy, normal child,
482
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,400
and then grew further
to become a normal,
483
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,360
fairly contented adult.
484
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,560
And, perhaps, that is
what happened.
485
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:57,080
He probably wins prizes
for his tropical fish.
486
00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:03,480
Call Aziraphale.
487
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,280
Calling Aziraphale.
488
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,376
Sorry,
all lines to London
489
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,680
are currently busy.
490
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:28,000
I'm afraid we're quite
definitely closed.
491
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,080
Aziraphale, it's me.
492
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,080
- We need to talk.
- Yes.
493
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:34,480
Yes, I rather think we do.
494
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,120
I assume this is about...
495
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,840
Armageddon. Yes.
496
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:43,760
Everyone knows
the best place
497
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,920
for a clandestine meeting
in London
498
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,440
is, and always has been,
St James's Park.
499
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,400
They say the ducks are so used
to being fed by secret agents
500
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:56,160
that they've developed
Pavlovian reactions to them.
501
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,520
The Russian cultural attaché's
black bread
502
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,840
is particularly sought after
by the more discerning duck.
503
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,496
Crowley and Aziraphale
have been meeting here
504
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,520
for quite some time.
505
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,680
You're sure it was
the Antichrist?
506
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,080
I should know.
I delivered the baby.
507
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,400
Well, not "delivered" delivered,
you know?
508
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,040
Handed it over.
509
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,240
An American diplomat.
510
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,720
Really?
511
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,040
As if Armageddon
were a cinematographic show
512
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:24,840
you wished to sell in
as many countries as possible.
513
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,320
The Earth and all
the kingdoms thereof.
514
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,440
We will win, of course.
515
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:31,680
You really believe that?
516
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,160
Obviously.
517
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:36,960
Heaven will finally
triumph over Hell.
518
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:38,680
It's all going to be
rather lovely.
519
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,520
Out of interest,
520
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,440
how many first-class composers
do your lot have in Heaven?
521
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:44,880
Because Mozart's
one of ours.
522
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:46,880
Beethoven.
523
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,200
Schubert.
524
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:49,640
Uh, all of the Bachs.
525
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,760
They have already written
their music.
526
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,120
And you'll never
hear it again.
527
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,760
No more Albert Hall.
No more Glyndebourne.
528
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,040
Just celestial harmonies.
529
00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:01,560
- Well...
- And that's just the start
530
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,280
of what you'll lose
if you win.
531
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:07,440
No more fascinating little
restaurants where they know you.
532
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:10,080
No gravlax
in dill sauce.
533
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:13,680
No more old bookshops.
534
00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:19,760
We've only got 11 years,
and then it's all over.
535
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:21,560
We have to work together.
536
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:23,560
No.
537
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,440
It's the end of the world
we're talking about.
538
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,376
It's not some little temptation
I've asked you to cover for me
539
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,640
while you're up in Edinburgh
for the festival.
540
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,000
- You can't say no.
- No.
541
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:32,840
We can do something.
I have an idea.
542
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,480
No! I am not interested.
543
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,520
Well, let's have lunch, hmm?
544
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:40,880
I still owe you one from...
545
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,720
Paris.
546
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,000
1793.
547
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:50,440
Yes. The Reign of Terror.
548
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,600
Was that one of ours
or one of yours?
549
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,280
Can't recall.
550
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,840
We had crepes.
551
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,920
Mm.
552
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,440
That was scrumptious.
553
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,680
So, what are you
in the mood for now?
554
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,000
Alcohol.
555
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,160
Quite extraordinary
amounts of alcohol.
556
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,000
I have several very nice bottles
557
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,280
of Châteauneuf-du-Pape
in the back.
558
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,480
I picked up a dozen cases
in 1921,
559
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,440
and there's still some left
for special occasions.
560
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,600
Not very big on wine in Heaven,
are they, though?
561
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,280
Not going to get any more nice
little Châteauneuf-du-Papes
562
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:39,520
in Heaven,
or single malt scotch,
563
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,680
or little... little froufrou
cocktails with umbrellas.
564
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,640
Crowley, I've told you,
I'm not helping you.
565
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:49,320
I'm not interested.
This is purely social.
566
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,400
I am an angel.
You are a demon.
567
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,920
We're hereditary enemies.
568
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,600
Get thee behind me,
foul fiend.
569
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,600
After you.
570
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,640
That night,
Arthur and Deirdre Young
571
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:04,280
proudly took the baby
they believed was theirs
572
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,440
home to the quiet English
village of Tadfield.
573
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,840
The Antichrist had been
on Earth for 24 hours.
574
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,040
While in London's Soho,
an angel and a demon
575
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,480
had been drinking solidly
for the last six of them.
576
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,520
So, what...
what exactly is your point?
577
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:28,800
My point is...
578
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,520
My point is, dolphins.
579
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,640
That's my point.
580
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,960
Big brains, the size of...
581
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:39,560
damn big brains.
582
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,440
Not to mention the whales.
Brain city, whales.
583
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:44,560
Kraken.
584
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:49,000
Ooh, great, big bugger.
585
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,440
Supposed to rise up
to the surface.
586
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,360
Right... right up
at the end,
587
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,000
when the sea boils.
588
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:58,000
Well, that's my point.
589
00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:59,320
Whole sea bubbling.
590
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:00,720
The dolphins, the whales.
591
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,080
Everything turning
into bouillab...
592
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,360
Bouill-bouillab...
593
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,320
Bouillab...
594
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,160
Fish stew.
Anyway, it's not their fault.
595
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,720
And that's the same
with gorillas.
596
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,880
They say, like, "Whoop".
They say a lot of...
597
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,520
Sky's gone red.
There's...
598
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,120
stars crashing down.
599
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,480
And what are they putting
in bananas these days?
600
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,760
They're All creatures,
great and small.
601
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,320
And you know
what's worse?
602
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:28,680
When it's all over,
603
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:34,200
you've got to deal
with eternity!
604
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,720
Eternity?
605
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,400
Yeah,
it won't be so bad at first.
606
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,840
Although no Stephen Sondheim
607
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:42,240
first nights in eternity,
I'm afraid.
608
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,400
Although, I have heard rumours
that your boss
609
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:49,040
really loves
The Sound of Music.
610
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,840
You fancy spending eternity
watching that?
611
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:53,800
You could literally
climb every mountain
612
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,560
over and over and over and over
and over and over and over.
613
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,400
I don't like it
any more than you do,
614
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:03,720
but I told you, I can't diso...
not do what I'm told.
615
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,640
I'm an angel. I...
616
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,040
Oh, God, I...
617
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,640
I can't cope with this
while I'm drunk.
618
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,160
I'm going to sober up.
619
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,560
Yeah, me too.
620
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,200
Harriet Dowling took
baby Warlock to his new home,
621
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,480
an official London residence.
622
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,480
Our mission
is done, Lord Hastur.
623
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:44,840
The baby is in place,
624
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,520
and his parents
are none the wiser.
625
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,536
Well, no need for the convent
any longer, then, is there?
626
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,280
- I'm afraid I...
- Dissolve.
627
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,520
- What?
- Your order is dissolved.
628
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,600
- We're what?
- Now hang on a moment.
629
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:57,320
We did everything
that was asked of us.
630
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:58,560
What about our reward?
631
00:32:58,640 --> 00:32:59,760
So irritating.
632
00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:01,280
You never shut up, do you?
633
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:02,640
We are a chattering order.
634
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,000
We say what is on
our minds.
635
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:05,320
And right now,
what's on my mind
636
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,920
is that you can't
treat us like...
637
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:09,616
Would you like to tell them
638
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,200
that the order
is dissolved?
639
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,840
Or would you rather that
they all perish in the fire?
640
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,040
What fire?
641
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,920
Even if I wanted to help,
I couldn't.
642
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,160
I can't interfere
with the Divine Plan.
643
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:43,080
Well, what about
diabolical plans?
644
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:44,680
You can't be certain
that thwarting me
645
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,360
isn't part
of the Divine Plan, too.
646
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:50,200
I mean, you're supposed
to thwart the wiles
647
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,360
of the Evil One
at every turn, aren't you?
648
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:53,880
Well...
649
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:57,080
See a wile, ya' thwart.
Am I right?
650
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,960
I... Broadly.
651
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,200
Actually, I encourage humans
to do the actual...
652
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,560
But the Antichrist
has been born.
653
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,840
But it's the upbringing that's
important, the influences.
654
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,960
The evil influences,
655
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,120
that's all
going to be me.
656
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,920
It'd be too bad if someone
made sure that I failed.
657
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,000
If you put it that way...
658
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:29,840
Heaven couldn't actually object
if I was thwarting you.
659
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,880
No. Be a real feather
in your wing.
660
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,280
We'd be godfathers,
sort of,
661
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,520
overseeing
his upbringing.
662
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,880
We do it right,
he won't be evil.
663
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,880
Or good.
He'll just be normal.
664
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:54,760
It might work.
665
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,640
Godfathers.
666
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:00,680
Well, I'll be damned.
667
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,680
It's not that bad
when you get used to it.
668
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,360
I understand you need a nanny.
669
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,880
They do say as
you might be looking for a gardener.
670
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:33,320
Oh! Young master Warlock!
671
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,160
You're growing fast.
672
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:37,920
You must be all of, um...
673
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,440
Five. I'm five.
674
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:43,200
What's that?
675
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,160
Oh, that's Brother Pigeon.
676
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:49,400
And Brother Snail.
677
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,600
Oh, and Sister Slug.
678
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:58,000
Now, you remember,
young Warlock,
679
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,120
as you grow,
680
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:03,840
to have love and reverence
681
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,320
for all living things.
682
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,200
Nanny says living things
683
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:12,160
are only fit to be ground
under my heels, Brother Francis.
684
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,480
Well, don't you listen to her.
685
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,680
You listen to me.
686
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,080
Will you sing me
a lullaby, nanny?
687
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:29,920
Of course, dear.
688
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:05,880
The gardener says that I must be
kind and nice to everybody.
689
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,640
Even Sister Slug.
690
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,360
And not ever
destroy the Earth.
691
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:14,360
Don't listen to him.
692
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,760
Listen to me.
693
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:20,200
There are many doors that
will take you to Heaven or to Hell.
694
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,520
But when Crowley and Aziraphale
report in an official capacity
695
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,560
to their respective
head offices,
696
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:27,760
they take the main entrance.
697
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:38,080
Tell us about the boy, Warlock.
698
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,360
He's a remarkable child,
Lord Beelzebub.
699
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,920
- But is he evil?
- Fantastically evil.
700
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,280
Killed anyone yet?
701
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:47,880
Uh... not yet,
702
00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,080
but there's more to evil
than just killing people, eh?
703
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,080
I suppose.
704
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:53,600
But it's fun.
705
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,160
Have you encountered
any problems from the...
706
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,160
...opposition?
707
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,640
They don't suspect a thing.
708
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,600
I am proud to say
709
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,800
that on a very real level,
710
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,280
the Antichrist child
711
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:12,560
is now being influenced
towards the light.
712
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,160
Very commendable,
Aziraphale.
713
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,760
- Excellent work, as usual.
- Yes.
714
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,400
But, Aziraphale,
we will be most understanding
715
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,520
when you fail.
716
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,920
After all, wars are to be won.
717
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,160
Not avoided.
718
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:27,920
But I won't fail.
719
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,640
I mean, that would be bad.
720
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:33,280
Aziraphale, what you're doing
is praiseworthy,
721
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,960
but obviously doomed
to failure.
722
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:41,800
Still, as the Almighty
likes to say,
723
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:43,400
"Climb every mountain."
724
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,760
"Ford every stream."
725
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,560
The boy's too normal.
726
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,560
Excellent.
It's working.
727
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:08,480
The heavenly influences
are balancing out the hellish.
728
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:09,680
A no-score draw.
729
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:11,400
I hope you're right.
730
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,120
Only six years left to go.
731
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:14,840
- Crowley.
- Yeah?
732
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:19,480
I mean, if he comes
into his full power,
733
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:21,840
how do we stop him then?
734
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,880
I'm sure it won't
come to that.
735
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,640
- He's big.
- He's the biggest we've got.
736
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,640
Only the best for our young
master-to-be.
737
00:39:57,680 --> 00:39:59,360
Do you think he's hungry?
738
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,040
Only one way to find out.
739
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:04,560
You. Get in there.
740
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,680
- Me?
- Yes, yes, you.
741
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:12,880
Watch out for his teeth.
742
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,520
Ooh.
743
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,280
It's not like you didn't tell
him to look out for the teeth.
744
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:24,520
I think he was hungry.
745
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:26,560
Warlock, are you
listening to me, honey?
746
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,640
Look what they used to think
dinosaurs looked like.
747
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,120
- Whatever.
- They're old and educational.
748
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:32,640
- It's dumb.
- It's not dumb, sweetie.
749
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:35,400
- It's a dinosaur.
- Dumbasaur, more like.
750
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:37,960
Can we talk about
my birthday party?
751
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,400
Why can't we have my party
in an escape room?
752
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:42,960
Honey, for the last time,
753
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:44,120
we've already hired a...
754
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:45,800
But, Mom...
755
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,880
Well, we've
done everything we can.
756
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:52,000
All we can do now
is wait for his birthday.
757
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:53,680
The Hell Hound
will be the key.
758
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,120
Shows up at 3:00
on Wednesday.
759
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,120
Right.
760
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,760
You've never actually
mentioned a Hell Hound before.
761
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:02,560
Oh, yeah.
762
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,160
Yeah, they're sending him
a Hell Hound
763
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,640
to pad by his side
and guard him from all harm.
764
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,840
- Oh.
- Biggest one they've got.
765
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:11,640
Won't people remark
on the sudden appearance
766
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,160
of a huge black dog?
767
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:14,960
His parents,
for a start?
768
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:19,280
No one will notice anything.
It's reality, angel.
769
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,560
And young Warlock can do
what he likes with that,
770
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,880
whether he knows it or not.
771
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,400
It's the start of it all.
The boy's meant to name it.
772
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,880
Um... Stalks by Night,
Throat-Ripper, something like that.
773
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:34,080
But if you and I
have done our job properly,
774
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,440
then he'll send it away
unnamed.
775
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,280
What if he does name it?
776
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,016
Then you and I have lost,
he'll have all his powers,
777
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,600
and Armageddon
will be days away.
778
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,360
There must be some way
of stopping it.
779
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:50,160
If there was no boy...
780
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:51,800
then the process would stop.
781
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,480
Yes, but there is a boy.
He's over there,
782
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,440
writing a rude word
on a description of a dinosaur.
783
00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:58,880
Well, there is a boy now.
784
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,080
That could change.
785
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:06,000
Something could happen to him.
786
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:09,520
I'm saying
you could kill him.
787
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:17,800
I've never actually...
killed anything.
788
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,200
I don't think I could.
789
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:28,080
Not even to save
everything?
790
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:31,400
One life...
791
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:33,640
against the universe.
792
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,280
Then, this Hell Hound,
793
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:42,880
it'll show up
at his birthday party?
794
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,760
- Yeah.
- Well, then we should be there.
795
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:49,640
Maybe I can stop the dog.
In fact, I could entertain.
796
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:51,080
No, no, no.
Please, no. No.
797
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:52,536
I just need to get back
into practice.
798
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:54,600
Oh, no, no.
Don't do your magic act.
799
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,080
Please. Please! I'm actually begging you.
800
00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:00,080
You have no idea how
demeaning that is. Please.
801
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:03,936
- In your finger.
- No, it was in your ear.
802
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,840
- It was in your pocket.
- It was close to your ear.
803
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,640
Never anywhere
near my ear.
804
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:09,760
You're no fun.
805
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:11,160
- Fun?
- Yes.
806
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:13,160
It's humiliating.
807
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:14,400
You can do proper magic.
808
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:15,840
You can make things
disappear.
809
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:17,040
But it's not as fun.
810
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,520
Make you disappear.
811
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:21,200
Where has he got to?
812
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:24,160
Is he in here... somewhere?
813
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,800
There he is! Ha! This...
814
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:29,336
We'll come back to that one.
815
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,040
You see, it's me old top hat.
816
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:32,640
But, wait.
817
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,280
What's this?
818
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:39,800
Could it be
819
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,760
our old furry friend,
820
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,680
Harry the Rabbit?
821
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,360
It was in the table.
822
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,320
You said there was gonna be
a celebrity magician.
823
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:53,800
I had Penn and Teller at my
party, and I had a silent disco,
824
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:55,760
- and I got a...
- You're rubbish.
825
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,240
Excuse me, excuse me.
826
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,880
He's right, you know.
You are actually rubbish.
827
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:05,000
Five, four,
828
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,760
three, two, one.
829
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:11,560
The time is upon us.
830
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:13,720
As soon as the boy
names the Hound,
831
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,080
Armageddon will begin.
832
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:21,640
Go. Find your master.
833
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,320
He's not back yet?
834
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:30,560
He's down in Hogback Wood,
playing with his friends.
835
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,440
I've told him to be home
by teatime.
836
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:35,040
Right, well, give me a shout
when he gets back,
837
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:38,240
then we can
light the candles.
838
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:55,320
That was the best
11th birthday ever.
839
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,200
It was all a bit of a disaster,
I'm afraid.
840
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:59,600
Nonsense. You gave them all
a party to remember.
841
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,440
Last one any of them
will ever have, mind.
842
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:03,840
It's late.
843
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:05,600
Comes of putting it
up your sleeve.
844
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:07,880
No.
845
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,840
The Hell Hound.
846
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:12,760
It's late.
847
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,976
...Isle of
Skye, and your time starts...
848
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,480
- Hello, Crowley.
- Uh, hi. Who's this?
849
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:21,800
Dagon, Lord of the Files,
850
00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:23,520
Master of Torments.
851
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,880
Yeah, just checking in
about the Hell Hound.
852
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,440
He should be with you by now.
853
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:30,640
Why? Has something
gone wrong, Crowley?
854
00:45:30,720 --> 00:45:33,280
Wrong? No, no. Nothing's wrong.
What could be wrong?
855
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,000
Oh, no, I see him now, yes.
856
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,600
What a lovely,
big helly Hell Hound.
857
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:39,960
Yes, OK,
great talking to you.
858
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:42,760
No dog.
859
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:45,600
No dog.
860
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,880
Wrong boy.
861
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:52,240
Wrong boy.
862
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,480
The right boy was playing
in the woods with his friends.
863
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:57,720
After all,
it was his birthday.
864
00:45:57,800 --> 00:45:59,600
Hogback Wood
was their Eden,
865
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,360
where they could play
unbothered by adults.
866
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:05,120
The children called themselves
the "Them".
867
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,880
Pepper and Brian,
Wensleydale,
868
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:12,560
and the birthday boy, their
leader, who found their den
869
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:16,560
and invented the best games
of all... Adam.
870
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,800
It's my birthday.
Of course, I'm gonna get a dog.
871
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:30,216
You never get what you want.
872
00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:33,240
I wanted a bike,
and I asked for it.
873
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,440
And I told them I wanted
a razor blade saddle,
874
00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:37,680
and 12 gears and everything.
875
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:38,936
And do you know
what they got me?
876
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,440
A girl's bike.
With a basket.
877
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:43,720
But you are actually
a girl, Pepper.
878
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:45,120
That's just sexist.
879
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,080
I want a dog.
880
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:48,960
Oh, right. And your mum and dad
881
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:51,216
are just going to get you a big
old Rotten-weiler, then, Adam?
882
00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:52,240
I don't want a big dog.
883
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:57,680
I want the kind of dog you can
have fun with. A little dog.
884
00:46:57,760 --> 00:46:59,600
I want a dog that's brilliantly
intelligent,
885
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,480
and can go down rabbit holes,
and I can teach tricks.
886
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,640
And I'll call him...
887
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:07,480
And this is the moment.
The naming.
888
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:10,760
This will give it its purpose,
its function, its identity.
889
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:15,000
This is the moment that sets
Armageddon into motion.
890
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,920
The Hell Hound growls a low,
rumbling snarl
891
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,280
of spring-coiled menace.
892
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,376
The sort of growl that starts
in the back of one throat
893
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:26,040
and ends up deep
in someone else's.
894
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:27,360
I think I'll call him "Dog".
895
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:33,440
Saves a lot of trouble,
a name like that.
896
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:35,120
And, what, this dog's
just gonna turn up?
897
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:36,600
Maybe.
898
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:43,240
Here, boy. Come on.
899
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:03,600
Armageddon is days away,
900
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:05,760
and we've lost the Antichrist.
901
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:09,920
Why did the powers of Hell have
to drag me into this anyway?
902
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,920
Well, don't quote me on this,
but I'm pretty sure
903
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:13,856
it's because of all those memos
you kept sending them,
904
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:16,160
saying how amazingly well
you were doing.
905
00:48:16,240 --> 00:48:17,840
Is it my fault
they never check-up?
906
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,960
I'm to blame
they never check-up?
907
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,960
Everyone stretches the truth
a bit in memos to head office.
908
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:25,456
- You know that.
- Yes, but you told them
909
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:27,240
you invented
the Spanish Inquisition
910
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:29,480
and started
the Second World War.
911
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,080
So the humans beat me to it.
That's not my fault.
912
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:36,040
Something's changed.
913
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:37,776
Oh, it's a new cologne.
My barber suggested it.
914
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,960
Not you.
I know what you smell like.
915
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,800
The Hell Hound
has found its master.
916
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,040
Are you sure?
917
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:49,440
I felt it.
Would I lie to you?
918
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:51,376
Well, obviously. You're a demon.
That's what you do.
919
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,000
No, I'm not lying.
The boy, wherever he is,
920
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:56,320
has the dog.
921
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,240
He's named it.
It's done.
922
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:00,160
He's coming into his power.
923
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:02,760
We're doomed.
924
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:04,960
Well, then...
925
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,320
welcome to the end times.
66195
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