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Previously on Cuckoo...
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Would you do me the honour of
permitting me, Dale Ashbrick,
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00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:07,159
to propose to your daughter?
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Should your focus be wedding
rings when you haven't got a job?
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00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:14,359
You are looking at a 49% owner
of All Dale And Steve's Pals.
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Steve's already got the lease.
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Why do I feel scared?
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Rachel said she needed more space
to think about her path in life,
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so I found the place in England
with the most space there is!
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I needed time to think,
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not some kind of non-consensual
Duke of Edinburgh.
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A job's come up, a real one.
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Where is it?
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Erm, it's in Sierra Nevada... or Leone.
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The African one.
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Oh, wow.
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00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:53,119
Like, genuine question, you
built this? Just you and Steve?
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Well, it was mainly me.
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Steve preferred to supervise.
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He made me work with my top off a lot.
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Sometimes my pants too.
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All right.
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Ah...
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Wow.
25
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I actually meant shove
a coat of magnolia on it.
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Oh, I'm sorry. I can wash it off.
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No, no, no, no. No, leave it.
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It's beautiful.
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It's All Steve's Pals.
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I mean, look at this place, huh?
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And they said we'd never make it happen.
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- Who did?
- Ken, Lorna, Connie,
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the postman, my kids,
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BBC West Midlands, your girlfriend...
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Yeah, to be fair, I did say that.
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Still, we showed them.
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But the question is,
Dale, are you ready?
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I think so.
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How was that?
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Fucking hell.
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Hiya, love. Busy day?
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Ha! Yeah, right.
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Just plotting my return to
Herbert Radcliffe Solicitors
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as chief partner.
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Don't you think it's time that you
started looking for another job?
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Nah, Dad'll be fine, Mum.
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I mean, a vacancy for a giant dickhead
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is bound to come up somewhere soon.
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I don't need to look for a new job
because I'm getting my old one back.
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Oh, yeah? How are you
planning to do that?
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I know how you can
get your old job back.
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Oh, right. Come on, then.
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What's the big idea?
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Well, you take the other partners
for a nice, friendly curry,
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except for that Jane one.
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With her, you want to say
you're doing a charity skydive,
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and then, when you're up there, rip
the safety cord from her parachute,
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strangle her with it, and then
shove her out of the plane.
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00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,640
And say something really
cool like, "See you around."
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That might actually work! Ken!
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The curry bit, obviously,
not the horrifying murder.
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Although, if I was going to do that,
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I'd say something cooler
than, "See you around."
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"Is it a bird? Is it a Jane?"
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Yeah.
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"Auf Wieders-Jane."
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Yeah, or, erm...
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We could have, erm...
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- Erm...
- Oh...
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Yeah, murder her or don't murder her,
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cos I really don't give a shit.
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I'm starting to worry about Dylan.
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Yeah? What was the turning point?
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When he shat in his girlfriend's bath
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or, two years later,
when he shagged her mum?
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Good point.
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Anyway, this plan...
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Me and all the partners, out
for a curry tomorrow night.
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No Jane there to poison them against me.
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Classic divide and conquer.
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Jane - the hopeless Turks...
Me - Genghis Khan,
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literally currying
favour with her employees.
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It means I'll miss Dale's
opening night, but...
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Hello, I'd like to book a table
for six tomorrow night, please.
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The name?
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Genghis Ken.
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No, just Ken is fine.
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Oh, God...
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Not tonight, my love.
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Goodnight, Chief Ken. Goodnight, Lorna.
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_
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- Night, Dylan.
- Jesus, you bell-end!
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Oh, my bad, sorry!
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00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,159
Wow, Dylan sure does love to masturbate.
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Yeah.
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Wow. I don't know how I'm
going to be able to sleep.
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I'm so excited for the launch.
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- Dale...
- Mm-hmm?
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If I was to ask you to do
something that was bad for you,
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like, I don't know, eat
raw pork, would you do it?
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I'd say, "Hand me the sausage."
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You know I'd do anything for you, Rach.
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Yeah, I do.
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Goodnight.
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So, when do you want me to do it?
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Cos I'm going to be pretty
busy tomorrow with the launch,
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but I might be able to pop back
a few sausages in the morning.
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It was hypothetical.
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- That's a relief.
- Yeah.
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And hypothetical means... ?
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You don't have to eat the sausage.
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Oh! OK. Awesome.
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Night, Rach.
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It's only for six months, so
I'll be back before you know it.
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Sierra Leone?
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Wow. Oh, it's a
beautiful part of... Asia?
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It's Africa.
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- Yes, I knew that.
- Yeah.
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00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,760
Anyway, you two are going to
have a great time over there.
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I don't think I should bring Dale.
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Oh, Jesus. It's a biggie.
122
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Is this because he stranded
you on the Pennines?
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You can't stay angry at him forever.
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I'm not angry.
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Dale's happy here.
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He's put his life into his bar,
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and if I ask him to come, he'll come.
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And don't you want him to come?
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No, I want him to come but, deep down,
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even if he says he wants to
come, I know he wants to stay,
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and I have to go.
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I'm all over the shop here, Rach.
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What is it you're trying to say?
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00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:54,399
Dale would do anything for
me, and this wouldn't be fair.
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If I ask him to come, he'll say yes.
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He's like a big lovely...
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... Labrador.
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He even catches Frisbees in his mouth.
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Yeah, that's hard.
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Oh, that's terrible. She's crazy.
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I know.
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Hey, guys!
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Oh, hi, Ken. What are you
doing here? Aren't you... ?
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What, just because I've been fired
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means I can't come into
my own workplace any more?
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Erm... Yeah?
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I actually swung by to see
if you guys fancied going out
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for a big old curry tonight.
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My treat. You can
have a rice and a naan.
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Unlimited chutney.
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00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,879
I mean, up to a point, obviously,
don't take the piss, but...
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- Yeah, all right. Sounds good, yeah.
- Great.
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And, hey, probably best if
we don't invite Jane, eh?
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Might be a little bit more
fun if it's just us lads.
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Sure, yeah, probably
better without her anyway.
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The fun sponge.
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Oh, dear. Are things not
going great with Jane?
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She's cracking the whip, mate.
159
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,399
She doesn't even let us watch The
Good Wife in the office any more.
160
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,239
We're all out of sync. Noel
doesn't even know Will dies.
161
00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,759
- What?!
- That is a shame.
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An office needs fun, guys.
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But then, that is Jane, isn't it?
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Cruel, harsh, dour, joyless,
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really kills the mood
in any room, doesn't she?
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Yeah, like a fart in a lift.
167
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,559
But the Germans will keep
re-electing her, won't they?
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You've got to hand it
to the woman. She's...
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Hello, Jane.
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Ken, what are you doing here?
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I thought you'd be at home watching
daytime telly and payday loan ads?
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Ken's taking us for a curry tonight.
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Great. I'll stick it in the diary.
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Glad you can make it.
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00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,199
- I know what you're doing, Ken.
- Excuse me?
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If you think you can buy your
job back with a chicken korma,
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then you're even more
ridiculous than you look.
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See you tonight.
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00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:56,040
Of course you would order a korma.
180
00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:06,159
- Hey, Dale!
- Hey, Steve! What's in the box?
181
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:09,159
Our high-class, beach-side
tiki bar dress code.
182
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:13,119
Bikinis, budgie smugglers...
Perfect for that beach-side vibe.
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All free, lost property from
the local leisure centre.
184
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Ha! That's genius.
185
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,519
Yeah.
186
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,919
Oh, man, I can't believe
we're finally ready.
187
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,920
Ah, we're more than ready.
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Box of swimwear and the cheapest
strippers in the Midlands booked.
189
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,959
- Boom!
- Boom.
190
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,079
I just wish Chief Ken was
going to be here to see it.
191
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,839
Also, it's still no to the strippers.
192
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,239
What? Ken isn't coming? Is
it something I said? Ah...
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00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,439
I wasn't there enough for
him. That's it, isn't it?
194
00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:48,959
No, he's just made plans.
195
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,439
OK, I took my eye off the ball.
196
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,839
Connie was back.
197
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,239
We had a trial un-separation...
198
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:56,599
13 days in a Travelodge,
199
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,879
round-the-clock lovemaking
and rolling news.
200
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,159
Tell Ken I can change.
201
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,959
- Right, but it's not you.
- Huh?
202
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,519
He's just organized a curry for
a bunch of people at his office.
203
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,799
- Curry?
- Yeah.
204
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,559
Oh, sorry.
205
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,960
He needs to get his job back. I get it.
206
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,279
I just really wish he was going to
be here so I could propose to Rachel
207
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,959
and he could see that I'm
worthy of marrying his daughter.
208
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,319
You're marriage material.
209
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:19,880
I'd marry you in a shot.
210
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,280
Just say the word.
211
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,199
No.
212
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,599
Unless...
213
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,999
No. You're right. It would never work.
214
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,119
Hey, don't worry about Ken.
215
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,360
I'll sort it out.
216
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,599
Nina, it's Rachel. I'm...
217
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:38,679
Rachel, hi.
218
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,319
The Sierra Leone vacancy,
that's still open, right?
219
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,039
God, yeah. I cannot begin to tell
you how fucked it is over there.
220
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,399
Like, really fucked.
221
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:49,959
- I'd like to take it.
- Fab.
222
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,519
Can you get to the embassy in
London tomorrow morning for 9.00?
223
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,519
Only, otherwise I'll
have to find someone else.
224
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,559
- Tomorrow?
- It would mean going tonight.
225
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,679
Yeah. Yeah, I can.
226
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:04,279
Good because, and again I cannot
stress this enough, they are fucked.
227
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,080
- Bye.
- Yeah. Bye.
228
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:20,519
♪ If you like tikka masala ♪
229
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,480
♪ Being a twat to your friends ♪
230
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:28,319
♪ Garlic naan at midnight ♪
231
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,400
♪ La da di, la da di... ♪
232
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,159
There's no keyhole.
233
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:38,920
Oh, for fuck's sake...
234
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,560
Done and done.
235
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,360
Evening!
236
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,039
I could smell it, Lorn.
237
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,439
They hate Jane and
they want big Ken back.
238
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,399
It's going to be mutiny on the bhaji.
239
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,159
Come on, that was good.
240
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,559
You shouldn't have to do this.
241
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,359
You're better than them.
242
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,879
Where's that big sexy tree of a
man who wanted to change the world
243
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,679
through affordable tax and property law?
244
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:23,679
He's tired, Lorn.
245
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:24,719
So tired.
246
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,679
Come on, you don't need them.
247
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,799
You could work for yourself,
maybe even start your own firm.
248
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:35,479
What?! I can't just go around
setting up a new Lichfield law firm.
249
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,759
- Are you out of your mind?!
- I thought it'd be quite easy.
250
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,719
Don't you just register
it at Companies House?
251
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,279
No, you do not, Lorna!
252
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:44,200
There are forms to be
signed, signed in triplicate!
253
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,600
Ah, well. I tried.
254
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:54,880
Where is he?
255
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:01,999
Do you lot work with Ken?
256
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,559
Yes, why?
257
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,639
There's been a change of plan:
258
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,159
he wants you all to
meet him somewhere else.
259
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,839
Where?
260
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,239
It's a surprise. Come on.
261
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,759
Why has he sent you?
262
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,119
I'm your Uber.
263
00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:17,360
Chop chop!
264
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,599
Come on! Chop chop,
or you'll miss the fun.
265
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,960
Come on, Missy.
266
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,719
Shit it!
267
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,480
Unbelievable.
268
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,919
Oh. Oh, thank God.
269
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,399
Poppadoms, please.
270
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,480
All the dips.
271
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,519
It's amazing, really.
272
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,879
I mean, Lichfield is the
shittest place on earth
273
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,319
and they opened a bar in
the shittest part of it.
274
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,519
Oh, just be nice, Dylan.
275
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:11,719
Dale needs our support.
276
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,559
It's like shit squared,
and Rachel's leaving him.
277
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,519
She's not leaving him.
It's only for six months.
278
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:18,839
Hey, and we're not
supposed to say anything.
279
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,639
Rachel's going to talk
to him after the launch.
280
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,479
The launch of the world's shittest...
281
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,840
... bar.
282
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:38,600
Welcome to All Steve's Pals!
283
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,319
- Hey, guys!
- This is so amazing!
284
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,519
I knew you could do it, bro!
285
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,639
- It's really good, Dale.
- Thanks.
286
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:51,479
There is so much fanny in here.
I don't know how you do it!
287
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,239
Neither do I!
288
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,239
Where's Rachel?
289
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,879
She's not coming.
290
00:14:58,880 --> 00:14:59,959
Why?
291
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,680
Well, I can't tell you why, Dale.
292
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,599
Oh, OK, fine, but you
didn't hear it from me.
293
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,639
OK.
294
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,839
She's packing her bags and
leaving tomorrow morning...
295
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,679
she's going to Sierra Leone.
296
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:12,959
She's leaving?
297
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,439
She didn't want to tell you tonight,
298
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,599
because she didn't want
to ruin your launch.
299
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,839
Well, smart move. It totally has.
300
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,799
She's so perceptive.
301
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,999
But, wait, Rachel has to be here.
302
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,159
I mean, all of this is to
show her how committed I am.
303
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,439
- I'm only doing this for Rachel.
- Are you?!
304
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:30,639
Yes!
305
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,679
Well, then, in that case,
you have to tell her, now!
306
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,639
Go get her, Dale.
307
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:37,679
Go get her.
308
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:38,720
I will!
309
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,279
Thanks, Lorna.
310
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,239
Welcome to All Steve's Pals.
311
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,079
♪ Don't you forget about me... ♪
312
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,999
Help yourselves to
swimwear from the box.
313
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,119
Line them up!
314
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,039
♪ Don't, don't, don't, don't ♪
315
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:58,400
♪ Don't you forget about me... ♪
316
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,039
Ken, you have to get down
to All Steve's Pals now.
317
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,079
The partners are...
318
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,599
Lorn, I can't talk now. The
partners will be here any minute.
319
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:18,319
That's what I'm trying to tell
you. The partners are here.
320
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,719
What?!
321
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,760
Ken...
322
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,039
Excuse me!
323
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,760
♪ One, two, three, four... ♪
324
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,959
- Yeah!
- Oi!
325
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,879
Ken! You made it. What do you think?
326
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,759
What do I think?!
327
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,039
I think I'm going to kill you,
328
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,439
and not as in a figure of speech.
329
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,639
Like, actually kill you!
330
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,039
One of the most important
nights of my professional life,
331
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,639
and you have kidnapped my colleagues.
332
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,039
Kidnapped is a strong word...
333
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,600
You've kidnapped them and
you've brought them to this...
334
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:15,679
... quite nice bar.
335
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,280
Ken, take a deep breath and drink this.
336
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,359
Yeah, your colleagues are here.
Look, they're having a great time.
337
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,759
Look, Sandeep's got his tie on his head,
338
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,919
Adrian's vaping, and I'm pretty
sure Noel has done a pill.
339
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:30,919
They've had free drinks all night,
340
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,039
and I told them they
were courtesy of you.
341
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,399
Ken! Great night!
342
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,799
- I can't believe you arranged all of this!
- Well...
343
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,119
We miss you, big guy.
344
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:40,919
Come back to the firm!
345
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:44,599
This might be the cocktails
talking, but we need you back, Ken.
346
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,119
We need you back.
347
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:50,719
I haven't had an erection
in three years, Ken.
348
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,679
God, I love this song!
349
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,640
Come here, big guy.
350
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,119
Rachel!
351
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:49,079
Please don't go.
352
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,999
Oh. You found it?
353
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,440
- Is this... ?
- Yep.
354
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,119
Rachel Thompson, will you... ?
355
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,399
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
356
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,959
OK. Just FYI, I was going
to say, "... marry me?"
357
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,119
Yeah, I know you were. Dale,
I am not ready for marriage.
358
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:05,439
We are not ready.
359
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,599
OK, but that doesn't
mean you have to leave.
360
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,639
I have to.
361
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,319
I want you to be happy.
362
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:16,159
You've put everything into
your life here, the bar...
363
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,519
The bar? I was only doing that for you.
364
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,599
Why would I want a
beach bar in Lichfield?
365
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:22,759
Ken said.
366
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,279
He told me I should show
you that I can be a provider
367
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,799
and take care of you.
368
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,239
That's... that's terrible advice!
369
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,279
Yeah, I'm starting to see that now.
370
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:37,359
Rachel, my only dream is being with you,
371
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:40,599
and if that means moving
to Sierra Leone, then great.
372
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,719
- Really?
- Yes, really.
373
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,159
I'm coming with you, Rach,
374
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,320
if you want me to.
375
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,319
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
376
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,399
- Yeah!
- OK!
377
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,319
Let me pack.
378
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,800
Done!
379
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,999
Come on, let's get a
cocktail. I can pack later.
380
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,999
There's a new bar I want to check out.
381
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,679
Apparently some hot
American barman works there.
382
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,039
Yeah, probably not a
good idea for me to visit
383
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,199
a rival bar on opening night.
384
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,719
Oh, I got it, you're talking
about All Steve's Pals.
385
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,559
- I'm talking about All Steve's Pals.
- OK, yeah, let's go!
386
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,279
Woohoo!
387
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,120
OK, Lorna, here we go.
388
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,759
Having a good time, Jane?
389
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:33,839
I'm shitfaced.
390
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,039
Yay!
391
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:41,759
Listen, Ken, I've seen the way
the partners are with you...
392
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:44,599
it might be good if
you were to come back.
393
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,079
What?! Are you serious?!
394
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,159
But I need to know you'll be loyal.
395
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,519
You'll have to respect my authority,
396
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,879
and I can't have you
outside the tent pissing in.
397
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,719
I won't. I promise.
398
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,319
I promise I won't piss inside the tent.
399
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,439
I'll piss miles away from the tent.
400
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,759
You won't even notice my piss.
401
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,079
Stop saying piss, Ken.
402
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,519
There is one condition, though.
403
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:11,439
If I do let you back in, I'll look weak.
404
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:15,239
I need you to show you're
loyal in front of the others.
405
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,639
Right.
406
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,159
Bend the knee.
407
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,479
What?
408
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,079
It's not Game Of Thrones, mate.
409
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,959
Get on your knees, beg
for your old job back,
410
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:28,000
let the partners see, and
then we all get what we want.
411
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,119
No. No, no, no, no!
412
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,680
You are not begging to this...
413
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,679
Help me, Dylan, you're
good at horrible insults.
414
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,239
- Bitch?
- Yeah, this bitch!
415
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:46,159
No, I'm so sorry about my wife.
She appears to be hammered.
416
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:47,959
No, Ken. I've had enough of this...
417
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,039
Dog's dick?
418
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,559
... dog's dick treating you
like you're not good enough.
419
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,359
Now, you listen to me.
420
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,691
- My husband's a...
- Ten foot bell-end?
421
00:21:55,699 --> 00:21:56,720
- No.
- Do you want to... ?
422
00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:01,359
My husband's a great man,
and he doesn't need you, Jane,
423
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:04,399
and he doesn't need your
bloody twatty little firm!
424
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,999
- He needs...
- Statins?
425
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,640
He needs to chase his dreams.
426
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,920
He's starting his own firm.
427
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,679
Am I?
428
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,360
Yes. Yes, Ken.
429
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,079
Yes.
430
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,239
Yes, I am!
431
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,639
I'm not standing for this.
432
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,039
Auf Wieders-Jane.
433
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,399
- Yeah!
- Oi! That's MY one.
434
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,679
See you later, you Jane in the arse!
435
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,839
Yeah!
436
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,759
Yeah.
437
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,679
I am. I am starting my own firm!
438
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,599
- I love you, Ken.
- I am!
439
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,199
Right, drinks are on the house.
440
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:49,639
One round of the house special
cocktail, the Flaming Ken.
441
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:50,759
Ooh!
442
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,119
Flaming Ken?
443
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:55,519
It's tall. It's fiery. It's got balls.
444
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:56,799
- Cheers, mate.
- Big balls.
445
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,439
Balls you can hold in your hand.
446
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,399
Balls that get the job done.
447
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,439
The best damn balls in
the whole of Ballstown.
448
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,319
Fuck off.
449
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,519
Flame up!
450
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,919
Oh!
451
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,439
Yeah!
452
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,519
Is it a good idea to
have so many naked flames
453
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,680
in a largely bamboo bar, Steve?
454
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,639
That really spread.
455
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,160
That fire's fucking beautiful, man.
456
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,719
Oh, thank God. Get in there quick!
457
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,999
Oh, they're not real firemen,
Ken. They're strippers.
458
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,719
Thanks for coming
anyway, guys. Ah! Ooh-rah!
459
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,079
They do this amazing routine
with a hosepipe and a glove.
460
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,159
Never mind that, your bar's on fire!
461
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:46,479
You know, All Steve's Pals,
Ken, it was never going to work,
462
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,599
so I decided to "accidentally"
burn the place down.
463
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,599
The insurance pay-out on
this baby is going to be huge.
464
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,759
But you went to so much
effort to make the place work.
465
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,999
Deniability, Lorna, deniability.
466
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,239
I mean, what kind of nutbag
goes to all that effort
467
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,879
just to burn the place down on purpose?
468
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,719
My God, you're a psychopath.
469
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,639
Oh, thank you, Ken.
470
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,359
Coming from you, that means a lot.
471
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:09,440
Oh...
472
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,599
What happened?
473
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,839
Ask this bloody idiot
and his Flaming Kens!
474
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,959
I'm so sorry, Dale.
475
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:20,279
I'm OK. It's just weirdly
sad seeing months of hard work
476
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,880
literally go up in flames.
477
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,239
Oh, well.
478
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,239
Got to keep smiling, right?
479
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,479
Oh, Chief Ken, me and Rach,
we're going to Sierra Leone.
480
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,719
- What? You're going to Africa?
- Yeah.
481
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,079
And at what point did you think,
482
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,159
"Oh, I don't know, I
might tell my bloody dad"?!
483
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,199
It was very sudden.
484
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,119
Also, I took your advice and proposed,
485
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,319
- but we're not getting married.
- Yeah, thanks for that, Dad.
486
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,119
Life coaching definitely isn't
your forte. Don't quit the day job.
487
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:45,479
Funny you should say that, Rach.
488
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,679
He literally has just quit his day job!
489
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:48,759
- What?
- What?
490
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,999
Right. Well, a) I don't
know why YOU'RE laughing
491
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,759
because you were VERY
active in that decision, and,
492
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,919
b) my actual advice was to get
a job before you get married.
493
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,599
But instead you went into
business with a maniac,
494
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:04,079
you opened a cocktail bar, and
now your cocktail bar is on fire.
495
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,839
It's probably best that I'm not
part of the family quite yet.
496
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,080
Dale...
497
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,919
No, you are.
498
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:15,520
You ARE part of the family,
this weird, messed-up family.
499
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,679
Fucking hell.
500
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,399
You guys are still
getting paid. Come on!
501
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:24,719
Oh, no.
502
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,439
Aw... Our family together.
503
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,199
Mum. Dylan?
504
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,479
Oh.
505
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,639
Yep, everything's fine.
506
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,799
Come on, lads!
507
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,639
♪ I know when to go out ♪
508
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,559
♪ And when to stay in ♪
509
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:44,959
♪ Get things done... ♪
510
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,319
♪ I catch a paper boy ♪
511
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,079
♪ But things don't really change ♪
512
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,679
♪ I'm standing in the wind ♪
513
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,160
♪ But I never wave bye-bye ♪
514
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:05,719
♪ But I try ♪
515
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,280
♪ I try ♪
516
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,399
♪ There's no sign of life ♪
517
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,999
♪ It's just the power to charm ♪
518
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,719
♪ I'm lying in the rain ♪
519
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,040
♪ But I never wave bye-bye ♪
520
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,240
♪ But I try ♪
521
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,200
♪ I try ♪
522
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,999
♪ Never going to fall for ♪
♪ Modern love ♪
523
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,679
♪ Walks beside me ♪
♪ Modern love ♪
524
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,239
♪ Walks on by ♪
♪ Modern love ♪
525
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:46,119
♪ Gets me to the church on time ♪
526
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:47,599
♪ Church on time ♪
527
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,119
♪ Terrifies me ♪
♪ Church on time ♪
528
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,719
♪ Makes me party ♪
♪ Church on time ♪
529
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:56,759
♪ Puts my trust in God and man ♪
530
00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:01,760
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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