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1
00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:24,280
Please hang up
and try your call again.
2
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:35,440
Are you the owner
of this establishment?
3
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,560
Do I look like
I run a bookshop?
4
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,600
Aziraphale, where the Heaven
are you, you idiot?
5
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,640
I can't find you!
6
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,480
Aziraphale, for God's--
7
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,800
For Satan's-- Ah!
8
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,120
For somebody's sake,
where are you?!
9
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,160
You've gone.
10
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,440
Somebody killed
my best friend!
11
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,640
Bastards!
12
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,200
All of you!
13
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,840
It's a bad world,
but we can fix it.
14
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,600
And it doesn't matter
that you three aren't
my friends anymore.
15
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,000
I've got better friends
than you'll ever be.
16
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,880
My new friends
will be together soon.
17
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:48,040
They're coming here, and then
we make everything better.
18
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:19,280
Crowley had lost Aziraphale,
19
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,320
and the world was ending
in a few hours.
20
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,760
He was in Hell's bad books.
21
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,080
Not that Hell
has any other kind.
22
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,760
I shouldn't litter,
should I?
23
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,280
I mean, I probably
should litter.
24
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,760
I'm a demon, after all.
25
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,040
But nobody's really
keeping score anymore.
26
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,680
Mr Shadwell?
27
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,160
Oh, what on earth happened?
28
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,200
What would you say
if I told you
29
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,600
that this hand had just
exorcised a demon
30
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,760
clean off the surface
of the earth?
31
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,440
I'd say somebody
needs to come inside
32
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:54,480
and have a nice cup of tea.
33
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,080
But young Newt,
he's still out there.
34
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:03,360
In thrall to heathen ways
and lubricious occult wiles.
35
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,000
There could be women there.
36
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,760
Oh, well...
37
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,240
now you can't be in here,
38
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,360
because Mrs Ormorod and such
will be arriving any minute.
39
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,000
Why don't you come in here
and have a nice lie down.
40
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:23,080
You're no use to young Newt
in this state.
41
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,040
Aye.
42
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,360
I'll have a bit
of a lie down.
43
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,280
Nobody's ever done
what I've done.
44
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,400
Not Hopkins, not Siftings,
45
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,040
not Dalrymple.
46
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,960
I'm the ultimate weapon.
47
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,960
I'm the doomsday option.
48
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,120
What kind of a place is this?
49
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,400
You! You're late.
50
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,240
Yes. Um...
51
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,120
Actually, I...
52
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,640
I-- I didn't mean
to be here...
53
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,400
um, yet.
54
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:41,400
Still sorting things out...
on Earth.
55
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:42,680
Aziraphale, isn't it?
56
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:45,560
Principality,
Angel of the Eastern Gate.
57
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,000
Your whole platoon
is waiting for you.
58
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,320
Aziraphale.
59
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,880
Aziraphale... Why is
that name so familiar?
60
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:55,600
Hang on.
61
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:56,840
Aziraphale.
62
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,280
You were issued with--
63
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,920
A flaming sword, I know.
It's not my fault.
64
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,360
She was having
a very bad day.
65
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:07,040
You were issued with a body.
Where is it?
66
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,920
I'm afraid I hadn't
actually prepared
67
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,480
to step into the transportation
portal, you see.
68
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,840
And the body... discorporated.
69
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,600
Discorporated?
70
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,880
It was 6,000 years old.
71
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,640
I count them all out,
72
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,040
and I count them all in again.
73
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,720
And then you turn up,
74
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,160
late for Armageddon,
75
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,640
no flaming sword,
76
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:38,760
not even a body, you pathetic
excuse for an angel!
77
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,120
Well, I suppose I am,
really.
78
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,560
I mean...
79
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,640
I have no intention
of fighting in any war.
80
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:51,360
Don't be a coward!
81
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,720
You get into position
right now,
82
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,000
and I won't
say anything more
83
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,880
about the body
you discorporated.
84
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,640
We can take the sword
out of your celestial wages.
85
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,440
I was in the middle
of something important.
86
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,280
I demand to be returned.
87
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,280
Without a body?
88
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,200
That's ridiculous.
89
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,080
-It is?
-Obviously.
90
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,800
What are you going to do?
You can't possess them.
91
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,960
Demons can.
92
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,600
You're not a demon.
You're an angel.
93
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:22,440
What are you--?
94
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,480
Where are you going?
95
00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:31,320
How does one navigate?
96
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,560
- Oh, well.
- Get away from that thing!
97
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,960
I'll figure it out...
98
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,160
as I go.
99
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,000
What are you lot
looking at?!
100
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,200
Don't you know
there's a war on?!
101
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,640
My friends are on their way,
102
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,440
and then there'll be a world
just for us.
103
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,360
We'll get rid of everything
stupid and start all over again.
104
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,000
Won't that be awesome?
105
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,480
Say something.
106
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,080
You have to say something.
107
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,440
I'm telling you
to say something!
108
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,480
Stop it. Stop crying.
This is fun.
109
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,720
We're having fun.
This is the best day of all.
110
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,520
You have to smile!
I can make it happen!
111
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,880
Smile! Smile!
112
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,840
That was...
113
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,880
I mean...
114
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,080
that was...
115
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,120
You know I've never actually...
116
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,600
That was my first time.
117
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,640
I'd never have known.
118
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,880
Well, seeing as
the world's ending,
119
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,440
can we do it again?
120
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,600
We don't have time.
121
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,000
And Agnes only said
we did it once.
122
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,000
She never.
123
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,600
She bloody--
She can't have predicted that.
124
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,880
"You go, boy.
May fortune be with you.
125
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,000
Anathema, my descendant,
126
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,240
I trust he will be
fine of feature
127
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:11,640
and mighty of..."
128
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,840
-Oh, my dear Lord.
-Get dressed.
129
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,600
So, we find this Adam,
and then we...
130
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,720
-stop him?
-Mmm...
131
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,600
I'm not sure anymore.
132
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,520
Agnes doesn't tell us to.
133
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,880
Because if there's a card
with instructions, I don't
know which one it is.
134
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,160
What do you mean,
"Agnes doesn't tell us to"?
135
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,960
Don't you ever just
do things for yourself?
136
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,760
See how they turn out?
137
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,480
No, not important things.
138
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,000
And we have maybe
an hour or so to go
139
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:45,760
until there's nothing
anybody can do.
140
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,200
I'm not going to waste
a second of it, so come on.
141
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,520
You can't let a 400-year-old
witch tell you what to do.
142
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,640
I've spent my whole life
trying to figure out
143
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,640
what Agnes wanted me to do.
144
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,880
And she's never failed me.
145
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,480
Sometimes I fail her.
146
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,680
Same again.
147
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,760
I never asked to be a demon.
148
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,880
I was just minding
my own business one day
149
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,320
and then...
oh, lookie here,
150
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,600
it's Lucifer and the guys.
151
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:26,160
Oh, hey, the food
hadn't been that good lately.
152
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,280
I didn't have anything on
for the rest of that afternoon.
153
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:32,400
Next thing, I'm doing
a million-light-year
154
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:36,320
freestyle dive into a pool
of boiling sulphur.
155
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,040
Aziraphale?
156
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,640
-Are you here?
-Good question.
157
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,680
Not certain.
Never done this before.
158
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,080
-Can you hear me?
-Of course I can hear you.
159
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,200
Afraid I've rather made
a mess of things.
160
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,800
Did you go
to Alpha Centauri?
161
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,920
Nah, I changed my mind.
162
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,560
Stuff happened.
163
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,240
I lost my best friend.
164
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,040
I'm so sorry to hear it.
165
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,600
Listen, back in my bookshop
166
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,760
there's a book
I need you to get.
167
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:14,600
Oh, look, your bookshop
isn't there anymore.
168
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:18,560
-Oh?
-I'm really sorry.
It burned down.
169
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,160
All of it?
170
00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:27,760
Yeah.
What-- what was the book?
171
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:31,000
The one the young lady
with the bicycle left behind.
172
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,880
-The Nice and Accurate
Prophecies of--
-Agnes Nutter!
173
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,720
-Yes, I took it!
-You have it?
174
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:38,800
-Look, souvenir!
-Look inside. I made notes.
175
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:42,000
It's all in there.
The boy's name, address.
176
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,400
Everything else.
I worked it all out.
177
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,120
Look, wherever you are,
I'll come to you. Where are you?
178
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,480
I-I-I'm not really
anywhere yet.
179
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,440
-I've been discorporated.
-Oh.
180
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,160
You need to get
to Tadfield Air Base.
181
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,960
Why?
182
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,920
World ending. That's where
it's all going to happen.
183
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,720
Quite soon now.
I'll head there too.
184
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,880
I just need to find
a receptive body.
185
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,520
-Harder than you'd think.
-I'm not going to go there.
186
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,680
I do need a body.
187
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,120
Pity I can't inhabit yours.
188
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,800
-Ooh.
-Angel, demon...
189
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,280
-probably explode.
-Blehh...
190
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,920
So I'll meet you at Tadfield.
191
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,600
But we're both gonna have
to get a bit of a wiggle-on.
192
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,520
-What?
-Tadfield Air Base.
193
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,400
I heard that.
It was the "wiggle-on".
194
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,440
Enter all seekers
after wisdom.
195
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:33,200
Only if you are prepared
to part the veil
196
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,840
and receive wisdom from those
who have gone before.
197
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:40,720
We are here to receive
your wisdom, Madame Tracy.
198
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,640
Oh!
199
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,800
Very good weather
for a séance.
200
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,760
Did you have them do it special,
the weather,
201
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,760
-with your psychicness?
-No, dear.
202
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,800
They're waiting for us.
203
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,000
Our Ron and the spirits,
they're waiting.
204
00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,560
And we are looking forward
205
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:03,120
to hearing what they are
going to say to us,
206
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,120
after we've made
our donations.
207
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,720
Aziraphale
had to find a host to inhabit.
208
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,480
And the Four Horsemen
needed to come together
for their final ride.
209
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,320
Purpose of your visit
to the U.K.?
210
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,520
I ride to where the end
of the world begins.
211
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,000
Sounds like fun.
212
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,520
Four cups of tea, please.
One of them black.
213
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,240
And a cheese sandwich.
214
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,320
You take a seat
and I'll bring it over for you.
215
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:44,840
Four of you, are there?
216
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,160
There will be.
217
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:47,800
I'm waiting for friends.
218
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,240
You're better off
waiting in here.
219
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,360
It's hell out there.
220
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,160
No. Not yet.
221
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,240
War.
222
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,360
It's been a long time.
223
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,120
Famine.
224
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,720
Feels funny, all of us getting
together like this.
225
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:17,840
Funny?
226
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,240
Hmm.
227
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:20,840
We've spent all these
thousands of years
228
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,120
waiting for the big day,
and finally it comes.
229
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,560
We'll have
a thunderstorm to ride in.
230
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,680
Any idea how far
we've got to ride?
231
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,600
-A hundred miles.
-I would have thought
it'd be farther, somehow.
232
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,800
It's not the travelling,
it's the arriving that matters.
233
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,160
Any sign of him yet?
234
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,720
When did you get here?
235
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,640
I never went away.
236
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,120
Your tea is getting cold, Lord.
237
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,880
It's been
a long time.
238
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,880
But now we ride.
239
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,400
Yes. Now we ride.
240
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,400
- Ooh. Pfft.
- She's going under.
241
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,840
Nothing to be
alarmed about.
242
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,720
She's just making herself
a bridge to the other side.
243
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,360
- Her spirit guide
will be along soon.
244
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,440
Are you there, my spirit guide?
245
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,520
Ah, begorrah...
246
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,200
'tis me.
247
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,000
Little Colleen O'Leary.
248
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:41,840
Colleen died in Dublin in 1746
when she was nine years old.
249
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,920
But she was very psychic.
250
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,680
Colleen. Hello, dear.
251
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,240
Is my Ron with you?
252
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,920
- I've got so much to tell him.
- Ooh!
253
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,200
Ah, Colleen wants to know
254
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:56,960
if there's anyone
named Mr Scroggie here?
255
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:58,880
Actually, that's my name.
256
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,200
Yes.
Well, Colleen wants to know
257
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:06,040
if you've ever known
anyone named...
258
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:09,000
-John.
-No.
259
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,440
-Or it could be Jim.
-No.
260
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,880
-Tom?
-No.
261
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,800
-Steve?
-No.
262
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,800
-Dave?
-I knew a Dave
from Hemel Hempstead.
263
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,720
Yes! So, you see,
that's what he's saying.
264
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,240
He's saying Hemel Hempstead.
He wants you to know
265
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,800
that he's doing very well
beyond the veil.
266
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,320
I saw him walking his dog
the other day and he looked
perfectly healthy.
267
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,880
People go very suddenly.
Like my mum.
268
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:36,080
Your mum can bloody well
wait her turn, Julia Petley.
269
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,560
I've been coming here for seven
years. I do have seniority.
270
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,800
Now, you tell my Ron--
271
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,800
Ooh!
272
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,320
-Is it our Ron?
-No, it's something real.
273
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,880
Sprechen sie Deutsch?
274
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,880
-Is that you, Ron?
-Ron?
275
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,000
Not Ron.
Definitely not.
276
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,080
Well, I want to speak
to Ron Ormorod.
277
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,520
He's rather short,
balding on top.
278
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,680
Can you put me through, please?
279
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:21,320
Ah, well,
there does appear to be a spirit
280
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,720
matching that description
281
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,440
trying to attract
our attention.
282
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,920
Very well.
283
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,400
I will hand you over,
but you must be very quick.
284
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,280
I am attempting
to avert the Apocalypse.
285
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,800
Right.
286
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,800
Hello, Brenda.
287
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,080
Ron?
288
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,200
What...
289
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,400
You sound like...
290
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,720
you.
291
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,800
I am me, Brenda.
292
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:00,720
It's c-cold here.
293
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:04,160
Right, so I went to our
Krystal's wedding last weekend.
294
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,760
That's our Tracy's eldest.
295
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,760
And they start serving
Korean food.
296
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,240
Well, I can take a joke
as well as the next woman.
297
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,800
-Brenda!
-I'm getting to the good bit.
298
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,760
So, I hold up the kimchi
and I say,
299
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,400
"What you expect me
to do with this, then?"
300
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,800
Whereupon, without even
301
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,000
the grace to look ashamed...
302
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,160
-Brenda!
-Yes, Ron?
303
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,960
Y-Y-You never
g-gave me a chance
304
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,920
to get a word in edgeways
when we were married.
305
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,280
And now I'm dead.
306
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,760
Oh! There's only one thing
I want to tell you.
307
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,440
You've never spoken to me
like this before.
308
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:45,040
Ron, remember your heart
condition.
309
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,080
I don't have a heart anymore!
310
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,680
-And Brenda?
-Yes, Ron?
311
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,440
Shut up!
312
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,080
Wasn't that touching?
313
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,640
Right, well, uh,
lovely to meet you all.
314
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,920
Out.
315
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,400
Show's over.
316
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,000
World to save.
Can't lollygag.
317
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,800
Well, that's very good value.
Very entertaining.
318
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,320
Glad you enjoyed it.
319
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,960
Crowley is currently
stuck in a traffic jam
320
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,560
as he tries to get out
of London to find Adam.
321
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,320
And it's official.
322
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,200
This is the biggest traffic jam
in England's history.
323
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,320
Why?
324
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,960
What you did to the M25
325
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,480
was a stroke of
demonic genius, darling.
326
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,280
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
327
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,760
The traffic jam is being
caused by problems on the M25,
328
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,320
the freeway
that circles London.
329
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,480
Crowley had a lot to do
with the design of the M25
330
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,320
back in the 1970s.
331
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:36,560
So, thanks
to three computer hacks,
332
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,520
selected bribery,
333
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,800
and me moving some markers
across a field one night,
334
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,400
the M25 London orbital motorway,
335
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,760
which was supposed
to look like this,
336
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:49,720
will, when it opens in 1986,
337
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,440
actually look like this,
338
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,080
and represent
the dread sigil Odegra
339
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,760
in the language of the dark
Priesthood of Ancient Mu.
340
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:01,640
"Odegra" means, "Hail the great
beast, devourer of worlds."
341
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,840
Can I hear a "wahoo"?
342
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,720
Once it's built,
the millions of motorists
343
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,320
who grumble their way
around it
344
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,880
are going to be like water
on a prayer wheel,
345
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:19,480
grinding out an endless fog
of low-grade evil
346
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,920
that will encircle
the whole of London.
347
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,280
Yes, Duke Hastur?
348
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,240
What's a computer?
349
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,760
So, what exactly
do you propose we do about this?
350
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,440
Given the circumstances,
351
00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:00,920
we're both going to have to be
extremely flexible.
352
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,000
Get your hands off her,
you...
353
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,320
-Where is he?
-Who?
354
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,520
Some southern pansy.
355
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,600
I heard him,
making lewd suggestions.
356
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:14,400
Not just
"a" southern pansy, Sergeant.
357
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,560
"The" southern pansy.
358
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,760
Demon!
359
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,120
You know what this is?
360
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,000
Four fingers, one thumb.
361
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:26,480
Now, you get out
of this good woman's head
362
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,560
before I blast you
to kingdom come.
363
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,040
That's the trouble, Mr Shadwell.
364
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:32,320
Kingdom come.
365
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,120
It's going to.
366
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:38,240
Mr Aziraphale has just
been explaining it.
367
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,080
You come and have
a nice cup of tea,
368
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,920
and listen to him.
369
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,760
As Adam came into his power,
370
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,040
the world welcomed him in ways
not even Crowley had expected.
371
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,240
I can't hold it in.
372
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,920
Well, what if the traffic
starts moving again?
373
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,800
It's the M25.
374
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,120
You can't just get out
and have a widdle
in the middle of the road.
375
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,760
I can, and I will.
376
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:05,720
Hail the Great Beast.
377
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,240
What'd you say, Horace?
378
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,320
Hail the Great Beast,
379
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:11,720
devourer of worlds.
380
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:16,960
Hail the Great Beast,
devourer of worlds.
381
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,200
Hail the Great Beast,
382
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,640
devourer of worlds.
383
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,960
Hail the Great Beast
384
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:25,400
devourer of worlds...
385
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,760
The M25 had become,
unexpectedly,
386
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:32,520
a burning magical ring of fire
that surrounded London.
387
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,920
Nobody was getting in or out.
388
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,520
Crowley had made it, now
Crowley was trapped inside it.
389
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:46,320
Right. The M25 is now
an impassable burning ring
of infernal fire,
390
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,000
and that's my fault.
391
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,640
Come on, Tadfield.
Tadfield. Tadfield.
392
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:59,880
Motorists are being advised
to avoid the M25 London
orbital motorway
393
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:03,160
because, in the words
of a Transportation
Department spokesman,
394
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,680
"It's on fire or something."
395
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,760
What does that even mean?
396
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,040
I know
where the Antichrist is.
397
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:15,600
I know where the Antichrist is.
I know where the Antichrist is.
398
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:20,840
- Mr Biggs...
- Yes?
399
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,560
I'm calling
about a car accident
400
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,280
that was not your fault
that you were involved in.
401
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,760
Bugger.
402
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,360
- Hello?
- Mrs Blore?
403
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:35,640
Wha' is it?
404
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:36,920
I'm calling about
a car accident
405
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,400
that you were
recently involved in.
406
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,160
You are eligible
for compensation.
407
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,240
Oh, for Heaven's sake.
408
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:58,880
Yes?
409
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,440
Hello, Mr Cowwley.
410
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,640
We're calling about
an accident you had.
411
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,760
It, eh, wasn't an accident, Lisa.
And this isn't Crowley.
412
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,360
Um, h-how do you know my name?
413
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,600
I know lots of things, Lisa.
414
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,200
I should be grateful to you
for setting me free,
shouldn't I?
415
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,480
I mean, I should
thank you personally
416
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,480
and meet your friends.
417
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,040
Uh...
418
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:22,640
I'm hanging up the phone now.
419
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,040
Too late.
420
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,360
I needed that.
421
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,480
Right.
422
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,000
So there really is
an Antichrist?
423
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,400
The Antichrist is alive
424
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:54,080
and on the Earth
at this moment, Sergeant.
425
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,640
He is bringing about
Armageddon.
426
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,040
I'm sure you can see
427
00:26:58,120 --> 00:26:59,920
that the imminent destruction
of the world
428
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,720
is not something that any
reasonable person would permit.
429
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,440
-No.
-Am I correct?
430
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,000
-Aye.
-The Antichrist...
431
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,840
must be killed,
Sergeant Shadwell.
432
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:13,280
And you...
are the man to do it.
433
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:16,760
Well, I don't know
about that.
434
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:20,080
Um, the Witchfinder Army,
we just kill witches.
435
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,080
I'm sure you've killed
lots of those.
436
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,160
Well, early days.
437
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:28,520
This Antichrist of yours,
how many nipples does he have?
438
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,240
Oh...uh...
oodles of them.
439
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:33,880
Pots of nipples.
440
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,760
Nipples everywhere.
Ha-ha-ha!
441
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,200
Then I'm your man.
442
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,520
Now, Sergeant,
what weapons do you have?
443
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,440
Oh. Here.
444
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:45,960
Yes, anything more
substantial?
445
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,360
Um, I've got pins...
446
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,840
and the Thunder Gun of
Witchfinder Colonel Dalrymple.
447
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:55,200
-It'll fire anything.
Silver bullets.
-That's werewolves.
448
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:56,720
-Ehh... Garlic?
-Vampires.
449
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,040
Hmm. Bricks?
450
00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:01,240
That should do nicely.
Ha!
451
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,840
Come on.
There must be a way across it.
452
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,720
Burning roads.
You predict this, Agnes?
453
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,560
Why isn't there an index?
454
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,720
You'll never escape London.
455
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,000
Nothing can.
456
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:58,520
Hastur. How was your time
in voicemail?
457
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,680
Funny, ha-ha.
Joke all you like, Crowley.
458
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:02,280
There's nowhere to run.
459
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,160
Aren't you to be lining up,
ready for battle around now?
460
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:05,520
Hell will not forget.
461
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,160
Hell will not forgive.
462
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,560
You know where the real
Antichrist is, don't you?
463
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,560
You'll never reach him.
464
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,360
You're done, Crowley.
465
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,280
Think you're going to get
across that?
466
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,440
There's nowhere to go.
467
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,920
Let's find out.
468
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,920
What-- what--
why are you driving?
469
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,400
That's-- what--
Stop this thing.
470
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,000
You know the thing
I like best about time,
471
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,600
is that every day it takes us
further away
472
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,400
from the 14th century.
473
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,800
I really didn't like
the 14th century.
474
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,440
-You'd have loved it, then.
-Yeah.
475
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,000
They didn't have any cars
back in the 14th century.
476
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,480
Lovely, clever human people
inventing cars,
477
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:50,080
and motorways,
and windscreen wipers.
478
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,480
-You got to hand it to them.
-Yeah. Aah!
479
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,920
Stop it. It's over.
480
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,080
You're doomed!
You hear me, Crowley?
481
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,920
You're doomed.
Whatever happens. Doomed!
482
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,600
See? This day's already
got better.
483
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,160
Stop this!
You'll discorporate us both!
484
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,240
-This is not funny!
-Come on!
485
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,160
If you've got to go,
then go with style!
486
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,640
I hate you!
487
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,040
You are my car.
488
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:34,560
I've had you from new.
You are not going to burn.
489
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,120
Don't even think of it.
490
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:44,840
Ha-ha!
491
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,120
Crowley has something
no other demons have,
492
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,040
an imagination.
493
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,080
Right now, he's imagining
that he is just fine,
494
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,600
and that a ton of burning
metal, rubber and leather
495
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,720
is a fully functioning car.
496
00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,440
He had started the journey
in his Bentley,
497
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,920
and he was damned if he wasn't
going to finish it
498
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:03,120
in the Bentley as well.
499
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,560
The boffins
are on their way.
500
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,760
In the meantime, nothing
is getting out of London.
501
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,760
You sure about that?
502
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,400
What was...?
503
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,680
Right now, that's
someone else's problem.
504
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,200
He was waving.
505
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:49,320
Listen, I'm sorry
I made you all shut up,
506
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,320
but I'm going to make it
so you can talk again,
507
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,920
and we'll all play a game.
508
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:54,960
We're all going to meet
my new friends.
509
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,440
You'll like them so much.
510
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,000
Come to me!
511
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,280
Come to me!
512
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,080
- Come on.
We can still be friends.
513
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:18,440
After all the people have gone,
514
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,320
you can rule the world
that's left.
515
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,000
Wensley, you can have America.
516
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,640
And Pepper,
you get Asia and Russia.
517
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:28,640
And Brian, you can have
Europe and Africa.
518
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,360
And Dog, you can have
Australia.
519
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,160
So we'd rule the world.
520
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,360
But what about you, Adam?
521
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,520
What?
522
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,040
What bit are you
going to have?
523
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,840
I'll be here,
same as always.
524
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,400
On your own?
525
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:46,920
I don't want to go
anywhere else.
526
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,800
And this is our
Hogback Wood too.
527
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,960
We don't want to go
to America or Asia.
528
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:52,560
You will do as I say.
529
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:54,160
Or what?
530
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,200
You've already taken our mouths
and frozen us here.
531
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:57,320
We can't get away.
532
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:58,880
Actually,
he could kill us.
533
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:02,120
Yes, you could do that.
534
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,080
You aren't frozen anymore.
535
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,280
You can go anywhere you want.
See? I don't care where you go.
536
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,040
- Goodbye, Adam.
- Goodbye, Adam.
537
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,000
Actually, yes.
Goodbye, Adam.
538
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,240
What do you mean "goodbye"?
539
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:20,640
Stop following us.
540
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,400
I'm not following you.
541
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,240
We aren't your friends anymore.
We don't like you.
542
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,680
I don't care.
543
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:32,080
Dog, come back.
544
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,400
Dog!
545
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:38,320
Let them go. You have the world.
546
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:43,040
You have the power.
You have the glory.
547
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,440
Let them go.
548
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,600
Give me back my dog!
549
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,200
He's not your dog.
He's his own dog.
550
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:01,000
I don't think
he likes you anymore.
551
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,360
You're really scary,
and you aren't our friend.
552
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,880
You aren't anybody's friend.
You're going to burn
all this away. Why?
553
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,480
Because some adults
mucked things up.
554
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,520
That's a reason to fix it,
not destroy it.
555
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,040
Come back. Please?
556
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:50,120
Come on, little one.
Hello, Adam.
557
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:15,920
I'm sorry.
558
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,440
I wasn't...
559
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,640
I don't think
I was thinking straight.
560
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,640
I am now.
561
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,760
Adam, what have you done?
562
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,640
I don't know.
563
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,680
But whatever I've started,
we've got to stop it.
564
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:43,840
We need our bicycles.
565
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,280
Meet back here
in five minutes.
566
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:47,480
Where are we going?
567
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:49,120
Adam.
568
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,640
Adam, after we get our bikes,
where are we going?
569
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,280
The end of the world.
It's not far.
570
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:58,400
-I've got it.
-Oh, yeah?
571
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,880
If Agnes tells you
what to do,
572
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,320
and we need to do this right,
573
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,800
then you just need to pick
a card, any card.
574
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:16,920
"When the skies
are crimson seen..."
575
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,280
Well, she got that bit right.
576
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:21,640
"...then ye both must stand
between the world of life
577
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:25,760
and the world of war, where
the iron bird lands no more."
578
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:28,800
See?
579
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,640
It could be
talking about us.
580
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:32,640
"Where the iron bird
lands no more."
581
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,920
Iron bird.
That could be a plane.
582
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,640
-Mm-hmm.
-Where don't they land?
583
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,480
There's an American
Air Force base outside of town.
584
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,000
They don't land planes there
anymore.
585
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:42,960
I met some of the guys who work
there at the village pub.
586
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:44,840
But why would we go there?
587
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:46,360
I mean, all they have
left in there
588
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:47,600
is communication technology.
589
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,640
Computers and stuff.
590
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,160
Nothing explosive at all.
591
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:58,960
Oh, my God.
592
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,400
Dear lady, it seems to me,
593
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,160
we could make better time
walking.
594
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,280
It'd be a miracle to get
past 10 miles an hour.
595
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,680
Miracles. Yes. Right.
596
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:16,440
Uh, hold on extremely tightly,
Sergeant Shadwell,
597
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,000
if you'd be so kind.
598
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:22,360
Whoa!
599
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,560
Don't look down,
Sergeant Shadwell!
600
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,320
And off we go then!
601
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:51,640
I'm afraid we're lost.
602
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,480
The signposts
must have blown down.
603
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,160
We're looking for the air base.
604
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:57,640
Well, it's second
on the right.
605
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,040
Well, it's not exactly
on the right.
606
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:00,640
You go to the left,
but you'll find
607
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:03,960
that it winds its way around
to the right eventually.
608
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,160
It's signposted "Porrit's Lane".
609
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,840
You'll come into the village,
you go up past
the Bull and Fiddle
610
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,560
and you can't miss it.
611
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:12,640
Not sure I got that.
612
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,640
I did. Let us go.
613
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,640
"Behind the eagle's nest
a great ash hath fallen."
614
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,080
That's it.
615
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,120
You know, most of my family
thought it was something
616
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:32,600
to do with
the Russian Revolution.
617
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,840
You know, these places have
some pretty serious people
618
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,640
with some extremely
big guns guarding them.
619
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:38,160
And if we don't get shot
trying to break in,
620
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:40,200
then we're going to spend
the last few minutes
621
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,600
before the world ends
in a little cell without
any windows in it--
622
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,160
Okay. I think you're getting
yourself a little overexcited.
623
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,600
I'm not. I'm getting myself
quite calmly worried
624
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,520
about being shot,
and then put in a cell,
625
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,160
and then waterboarded,
and then shot again.
626
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,480
Don't worry, Agnes would have
definitely told me
627
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,440
if someone was going
to shoot you.
628
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:39,400
This is the place.
629
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:44,160
Is this all there is? I thought
it'd be more impressive somehow.
630
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:45,920
All these thousands
of years waiting,
631
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:47,760
just for a ride
of a hundred miles.
632
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:51,960
If Armageddon is anywhere,
then it is everywhere.
633
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,480
Let's crash
through the barriers.
634
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:57,800
No. We go in,
we do the job, we go out.
635
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,600
The geography is immaterial.
636
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,640
Surprise inspection, officer.
637
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,600
I was not informated on
any surprise inspection, sir.
638
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,360
Well, if you had, it wouldn't be
a surprise, now would it?
639
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,440
Can I...
640
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,200
Can I see some kind
of identification, sir?
641
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:38,680
Very good, sir.
642
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:40,640
Don't tell them
we're coming, officer.
643
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:42,600
We want it to be
a surprise.
644
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,680
"Behind the eagle's nest,
a great ash hath fallen."
645
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:01,360
Well, she's on
the money there.
646
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:05,200
Nice going, Dick Turpin.
647
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,520
You really do call your car
"Dick Turpin".
648
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,640
Yes.
649
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,800
I bet you're hoping one day
someone's going to ask you why.
650
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,160
Maybe.
651
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,840
Right.
652
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,840
It can't be this easy.
It really can't.
653
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,800
There's going to be guards
and security cameras.
654
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,160
Where are we going?
655
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,480
There.
656
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:31,840
How do you know?
657
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:33,520
Because everything
in my life,
658
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,880
everything Agnes wrote down
on that book 400 years ago,
659
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,040
everything is all
leading me here.
660
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,640
Now. With you.
661
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,120
I know.
662
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,640
-How are we going
to stop them exactly?
-Come on.
663
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,160
It's stupid calling it
a military base.
664
00:41:58,280 --> 00:41:59,640
I went up there
on their open day,
665
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,440
and they didn't even
have guns and things.
666
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,880
Just lots of radios,
satellite dishes and stuff.
667
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:07,160
Yeah, it was all
knobs and dials.
668
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:08,600
Stupid.
669
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:10,360
What are your new friends
going to do here?
670
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,960
Well, I suppose they could patch
into the worldwide military net
671
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:14,600
and issue orders
to all computers
672
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:16,360
to activate all automated
systems and start fighting.
673
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,280
Actually, that would be
quite difficult.
674
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,080
Not really.
Not if you're them.
675
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,320
Oi, you! Stop!
676
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,040
I said stop!
677
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,960
Adam Young,
I thought it was you.
678
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,480
And the rest of you.
Do your parents know you're out?
679
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,680
Actually, it's not like there's
a law against being out.
680
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:29,920
I mean, you can't get sent
to prison for "being out".
681
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,440
Where are you four troublemakers
going this evening?
682
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,160
And don't stick your tongue out
at me, young lady,
683
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,360
or I'll have words
with your mother.
684
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,520
-We're going to the air base.
-If that's alright with you.
685
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,080
I mean, we wouldn't want
to go there if it wasn't
alright with you.
686
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:47,920
Adam Young, don't think I won't
talk to your father!
687
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,600
Can someone pass me
the screwdriver?
688
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:58,280
Who the hell are you?
689
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,880
I am neither
of Hell nor Heaven.
690
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,840
What's so special
about this place anyway?
691
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:07,040
This is a classified
communications hub.
692
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,880
Everything comes
through here.
693
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,040
See, they've made it
so they don't even
have to fight anymore.
694
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:14,600
- Machines will do it for them.
- Except the dying.
695
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:16,320
When it comes to some things,
696
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,560
machines will never
replace people.
697
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,160
I can feel it.
698
00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:21,520
Another five minutes,
699
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:23,280
and the whole world
will be at war.
700
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:24,800
And once the war begins,
701
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:26,760
the famine comes...
702
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,440
then the pollution.
703
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:35,360
We're in business.
704
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,840
They are taking charge
of the electricity, all of it.
705
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,720
And under their rule,
it is coming to life.
706
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:55,800
They're fusing relays.
They're closing switches.
707
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,560
They're turning off the lights.
708
00:44:57,640 --> 00:44:59,320
They are in control.
709
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:03,040
Let's get this show
off the road.
710
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,360
All warheads armed.
- What the heck?
711
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,040
Did you really just say
"what the heck"?
712
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,520
Get me STRATCOM Cyber Command.
Something's happening.
713
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:28,520
It has begun.
714
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,040
Nuclear codes delivered.
715
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:32,920
Everything is set in motion
for the final countdown.
716
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,280
The sword is raised,
717
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:36,200
ready to strike.
718
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,640
It's not just
nuclear destruction.
719
00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:04,560
It's chemical too.
720
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,960
And my favourite standbys
are all chemical.
721
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:08,520
Say what you like,
722
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:11,280
plutonium may give you grief
for thousands of years,
723
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,360
but arsenic is forever.
724
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:17,160
The war, the pollution
and then the winter.
725
00:46:17,240 --> 00:46:20,320
I like the winter.
So cold.
726
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:22,160
So clean. So hungry.
727
00:46:37,240 --> 00:46:39,200
Ah, excuse me.
Sorry to bother you.
728
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,840
I seem to have
got slightly lost.
729
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:43,680
Tadfield Air Base?
730
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,960
There are some things
it is very difficult to say.
731
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,760
What R.P. Tyler
truly wants to say is:
732
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,880
Your car is on fire.
733
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:56,600
But he can't. I mean,
the man must know, mustn't he?
734
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,360
Perhaps it's some kind
of practical joke?
735
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:00,560
So he says...
736
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:02,320
Might have taken the wrong turn.
737
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,280
Signpost blown down.
738
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:05,640
Easy mistake to make.
739
00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:07,480
So, second on the right.
740
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:09,520
When what he
wants to say is...
741
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:13,560
Young man, your car
is on fire, and you're
still sitting in it,
742
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:17,040
and frankly, it's in
no fit condition to drive.
743
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,440
Right. Got it.
Terrific.
744
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,240
-Young man?
-Yes?
745
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,240
Very unusual weather
for the time of year.
746
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:24,960
I'm afraid I hadn't noticed.
747
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:28,640
That's probably because
your stupid car is on fire!
748
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:15,840
You see this finger,
laddie?
749
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:18,240
This finger could send you
to your maker.
750
00:48:18,320 --> 00:48:20,600
It really is vitally important
751
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,120
that we speak to whoever
is in charge.
752
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:25,520
He's telling the truth.
I'd know if he wasn't.
753
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,200
Will you please stop
interrupting? I am trying--
754
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:30,240
I just thought
I'd put in a good word for--
755
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,240
Yeah, I understand,
but you must really--
756
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,640
Will you please be quiet?
Both of you.
757
00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:38,080
I mean, ma'am,
I must respectfully ask you to--
758
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,400
You wouldn't get that sort of
performance from a modern car.
759
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:58,800
- Crowley?
- Hey, Aziraphale!
I see you found a ride.
760
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,120
- Nice dress. Suits you.
- Ahh!
761
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:04,760
This young man
won't let us in.
762
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:07,320
Leave it to me.
763
00:49:08,240 --> 00:49:09,680
Army human,
764
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,840
my friend and I have come
a long way, and--
765
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:15,400
Which one of you did that?
766
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,560
Okay, those kids
are in big trouble.
767
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,040
And so are you people.
Don't move!
768
00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:28,400
All the chickens
are coming home to roost.
769
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:31,320
No more chickens.
770
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:33,480
Countdown
to activation initiated.
771
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:35,360
Our lord, our master.
772
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:39,240
Our friend. He's all
we've been waiting for.
773
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:40,960
When he joins us,
774
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,680
we will be complete.
775
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:52,800
Adam didn't know
what was going to happen next,
776
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:54,640
but he did know
what he had to do.
777
00:49:54,720 --> 00:49:56,320
So, what are these people like?
778
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:57,400
Don't know.
779
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:00,040
Are they grownups?
780
00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,840
-What the hell are
you kids doing here?
-It's alright.
781
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,640
Listen, kid,
you're on military property.
782
00:50:13,720 --> 00:50:15,560
I think you all need
to go to sleep now.
783
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:17,240
All you soldiers.
784
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,080
I'm here!
785
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:31,000
He is here.
786
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:32,920
Everything ends now.
787
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:35,160
Time is over.
56674