Original subtitles

Do help yourself, Aunt Sally.

Oh, I will, Your Honor. And thanks ever so much for inviting me to tea.

Pleasure. Of course, I did have a number of engagements, but then my social

secretary will have cancelled them by now, so I have to stop until I've had

sufficient.

Now, that, I'm afraid, is not for you, Aunt Sally.

The butterfly bun and the cream gateaux and jam tarts, by all means, but that

happens to be Wurzel's birthday cake.

Oh.

Now, there is birthday, isn't it?

I wish I'd had a note in my diary and I'd have sent him half a brick gift

even though he didn't invite me to his birthday party. I have not brought you

here to talk about birthday parties, Aunt Sally, or simply to feed your face.

Wurzel Gummidge is in danger.

Oh, yes. Could you pass three or four of them jam tarts, please? You don't seem

to understand, Aunt Sally. If Wurzel isn't rescued, he may well end his days

one of the travelling scarecrow makers' slave scarecrows. As your honour says,

but what's it got to do with me? Because you, Aunt Sally, are the one who's

going to rescue him.

Me? Go to the travelling scarecrow man's house? He tried to chop me up. like a

bundle of firewood.

It excuses me for being so bold, but your honour must be of his honour truly.

It is a brave thing I ask of you, Aunt Sally, but it is the only way.

Begging your pardon, your honour, but you're a scarecrow. I know that.

But without my crystal ball, my powers are weak.

If I set foot in that house of evil, I shall be destroyed and all my scarecrows

with me. And that is why I need your help. But Wazzle means nothing to me,

honour. But you're his intended. He loves you.

More fooling. You care about him not even one little bit.

Wouldn't do for him to get big -headed, would it? I'm appealing to you, Aunt

Sally, not for my sake, but for Wurzel's. What about pretty me?

It saw me head off as soon as it looked at me. I've thought of that, and that is

why you must go in disguise.

He'll never know who you are.

Well, I could go as the Queen of Bohemia, as the Grand Duchess. No, you

as one of the common people.

Oh, well, I must say that's absolutely impossible.

You see, Johanna, I'm not in any way as what could be described of as common.

I couldn't really go as a common people, could I?

Yes, but my point is, Aunt Sally, you must be inconspicuous.

Inconspicuous? Yes, well, never mind. Of course, I have been thinking that

whoever it is that rescues Wergel will, of course, be deserving of a reward.

Reward? Did you say reward?

Well, something of the sort.

As you know, I'm quite intimate friends with the King of Bulgaria, and I hear

that His Royal Highness is looking for a bride.

He must be one of the handsomest men alive, needless to say, one of the

Oh, just the mimics of his name, if my heart go flitter.

And are you also aware, Aunt Sally, that the crown princes also are married?

Princes?

Well, that would do, I suppose.

But finding his queen is the most pressing matter. And bringing Wurzel

I'm on my way.

Door number 13.

Oh, you're so slow. I'll go myself.

Excuse me for interrupting you at your tea time, but I've come to cut off your

gas. I don't have gas.

Oh, well, that would explain why you haven't paid your gas bill.

I could put some gas in for you.

Very reasonable. I don't need any gas.

My brazier is good enough, eh? Perhaps I could fetch a sample of gas for you, if

you'd like to try it. I mean, it gets much hotter than cold, you know.

Go away.

It's no use, Mr. Croman, sir.

I'm frightened to go back there anymore.

But anyway, what's the point? He won't let me into his hovel.

And even if he did, he'd probably thaw me head off.

So, now, how about the crown prince?

All in good time, Aunt Sally.

You made a brave attempt.

But if Worshal is to be saved, then we must persevere.

Persevere?

Look, I'll tell you one thing, Mr. Croman, sir. I'm not about to be a

people anymore.

I absolutely add being coarse and common. I mean...

Someone who's been brunged up proper to put up with.

Though, if I do go back to that horrible oval again, I go with what I normally

eat. And what's that?

A lady, of course. One who has a sort of regal bearing, who loses high -class

refinement if one gets one's drift.

I think, Aunt Sally, one does.

Blessed children, how can a body concentrate?

What's that, Aunt Sally?

Sorry, Mr. Croman, sir. I was just swallowing a gem tart.

Yes, well, get on with your changing. We've no time to lose.

It's got to work this time.

It must have sun.

Hurry up. Let's have a look at you.

I'm not exactly sure, Mr. Croman, sir, whether this is entirely upper -class

garb. Perfect, Aunt Sally.

You're the Queen of the Romanies, remember? And that is exactly in keeping

what the Queen of the Romanies would wear.

Oh, well, if you say so, Mr. Croman, sir.

Queen of the Romanies, eh?

I rather think the title suits me somewhat.

It suits you admirably, Aunt Sally.

You look most convincing. You should have been an actress.

Oh, I was.

I was in that well -known opera, Romeo and Hamlet. Have you heard of it?

It seems you've slipped my mind at the moment.

Come along. All we have left to do is to make up your pretty little face.

I'd rather think as queen of the Romanes I should have more cholera in my

cheeks, so as to show off to the full advantage my queenly complexion. Quite

right.

And could you make sure that my air frames my pretty little face like a

just so?

I've been told it's one of my best features.

Your eyelashes, Aunt Sally, is to make your lovely long eyelashes look as fine

as silk.

Well, if you think you can improve on something what's already perfect, I

object.

I think you'll find it quite an odd job.

There, I think that does it.

And I can honestly say, Aunt Sally, I've never seen you look worse.

Hello. Good day to you. Allow me to introduce myself.

I am Lulito de la Rada, Queen of the Romanes.

Could I interest you in some fine quality herbs?

I don't want herb.

How about some sweet smelling lavender?

Don't like lavender?

Perhaps some nice fresh eggs is what you're liking.

Yes, eggs.

pity self again

it's

just part of the disguise aunt sally don't fret yourself it'll soon disappear

you said i was going as a lady of quality not a cheap washer woman no

let me have it in the moose

agro -man, not as a common people, a cheap pheasant.

Let me go dressed to the very top in my lovely self, and then I can humble him

and get the smelly hay bag back here.

What about the king of Bulgaria?

All in good time, Aunt Sally, all in good time. First we must dress you to

nines, even the tens.

The tens?

Over there.

Come along, let's have a look at you.

I reckon I'm now quite irrestible.

Yes, very nice, Aunt Sally.

That should do the trick.

That's right, madam.

I am the bouncer.

What are you talking like that for? Never you mind, madam.

What can I do for you?

Is your master at home?

Yes, he is.

And he said for you to come in.

A madam, oh, madam.

Good afternoon, madam.

Welcome to my humble abode.

What can I do for you?

Are you the travelling scarecrow, Vic? For my sins, madam.

For my sins.

I'm the horrible lady parking from Wicky Wacky.

And I was wondering if you could make me a scarecrow.

I do make scarecrows, as you can see, madam.

Poor things. What's my name?

Atreus.

Madam, you say to tea?

Yes, we do.

While we talk business, I have, um, one of those, two of those, and three of

those.

My, my, my. You have got it well trained, haven't you, Mr. Scarecrow

All my staff are well trained.

The better to serve our guests.

Now, as to Madam's needs, you are troubled by the birds, yes?

Oh, something chronic.

After I've made you a scarecrow, Madam, you will be troubled no more.

And you'll find my charges reasonable.

Oh, well, me being of aristocratic blood and absolutely busting with money the

prices of new importance.

I think this will be about an hundred. That would be about right, madam.

Now, what kind of a scarecrow would madam like?

Look around you. See samples of my work.

Ugly head. They scare me half to death. Never mind the birds.

However, this one ain't half bad.

Oh, mother... Silence!

Regrettably, madam, this one is my servant.

As you can see, he walks and talks.

Oh, that don't matter.

I mean, if you just wrap him up in a piece of brown paper, I'll just polish

lot off and then I'll be on my way. But I couldn't allow it, madam.

Not until I've made you a scarecrow.

But I don't need one, Macy. Look, I've already told you, I'll take the ready

-made one. But the one I make for you will be a very special scarecrow.

Arms and legs of the finest Beechwood.

A white soul.

Wouldn't you like that?

I'm sorry.

How many times have I told you wretched children about playing with that

wretched... Well, bless my soul.

Please don't hurt me, Mr. Charlie. Bring me the door number

13.

Why don't you listen to him?

Are you going to help me?

I thought I was your sweetheart.

Shall I thaw her head off first?

Oh, why, no, you wouldn't.

No, you wouldn't.

Why shouldn't he, my pretty one? Because he loves...

You like my pretty doll, Aunt Sally?

Then you...

Hello,

Aunt Sally.

What are you doing here?

I've come to take you home, Wazzle.

So now we stop behaving funny. It's two against one.

So if you give me my little dolly, I'll be off.

No, don't take it, Aunt Sally.

Do you like your little doll, Slave Scarecrow number 14?

Oh, yes, I must.

Thank you, I must.

Aunt Sally, please, don't be Slave Scarecrow number 14.

Let me be your Slave Scarecrow number from before.

And let me take you away from all this.

Your turnip head talks too much.

What shall we do with him, number 14?

Chuck him on the bum.

Oh, no, please, Aunt Sally, don't chug me on the crackly thing.

Please, Aunt Sally, please, please.

Worse than I thought. I must leave right away.

I never thought you'd do this to poor old Wurzel.

Not in a thousand trilly billion years.

That will do Scarecrow number 14.

Now, Scarecrow number 13, have you a last request?

Yes.

Aunt Sally, will you marry me? Not to her nincompoop. To me.

What is your last request?

My last request is that you can do what you like with me, but let my Aunt Sally

go.

And let her meet a nice handsome prince, Elsa Duke, and live in a castle and

marry him and have servants and have all the cups of tea and slices of cake she

can swallow.

And live happily, happily after.

Last request denied.

Goodbye.

All in good time, number 14.

Shall we say 6 o 'clock?

What's that funny smell?

Just a drop of petrol.

We want you to be nice and warm.

You finish it.

Almost time, number 14.

Ready or not, sir?

Roger!

Mr. Crowman!

Oh, Mr.

Cromancer, thank goodness you've come. I know you would.

Don't worry about me. You're all in this. He's got my Aunt Sally there. One

thing at a time, Wurzel.

Ah, that'll do.

Give me a hand, Wurzel. Yes, Mr.

Cromancer. On the fire.

On the fire, yes, sir.

Get the rope. The rope? Yes, sir.

Number 14.

We must nourish the fire for Kekro number 13.

That's that. That, Wurzel. That hat.

Oh, yes.

Follow me, Wurzel. Follow me. Mr. Furner, what about my Aunt Sally?

Follow me.

Number 14.

Light the fire, Graham.

What about my Aunt Sally?

I'll hear you.

God, I jibber in a whisper, Your Holiness.

Light the bonfire.

Yes, we shall need a bonfire. You, seize them. Just a moment.

By all the elements, let this be a cleansing fire, not a fire of

destruction.

I command you, march into the flames.

There will be more.

More slave scarecrows. More evil. But I shall never stop fighting it or you. You

shall never usurp my power.

Why is he so evil? Why am I so evil?

Why am I so evil?

I'll show you why!

He's just an ornery scarecrow.

The scarecrow without a name.

It is you.

I always wondered what became of my unfinished scarecrow.

The one you wouldn't finish.

Because it was evil.

I felt the evil even as I was carving you.

This is how you take your revenge. You may destroy my slaves, but you have no

powers over me.

Live another day, master.

You and your scarecrow and your doll.

But never fear.

I haven't finished with you yet.

It taught me a lesson.

Never make a scarecrow out of a blighted turnip.

I'm convinced that's where the evil came from.

Yes, but what I don't understand is, begging your honest pardon, is why you

didn't chuck him on the bonfire with the rest of them.

Well, as he said, Aunt Sally, I have no power over him.

You see, he is the source of evil that we're fighting.

And no matter how much evil we stamp out, we can never quench its source.

Well, I've had enough of fighting evilly for one day, Mr. Cromwell, sir. So,

could I have another bun?

Else, does I have to eat some bread and butter first?

Oh, I think we can do better than buns, Wurzel. Have you forgotten? It's your

head's birthday.

I had forgotten, Mr. Cromer, your expressions, and that was that. Well,

time for your cake, Wurzel. Aunt Sally?

Aunt Sally?

Oh, Aunt Sally.

You've eaten Wurzel's birthday cake.

Never mind your old inept. I forget that.

It's very generous of you, Wurzel. Aunt Sally?

Aunt Sally, give me that.

Seeing as how you've scoffed me birthday cake. What about giving old Wurzel a

little birthday kiss?

Kiss you, Wurzel? I'd rather kiss a ferret.

Oh, come on, Aunt Sally. It's not too much to ask.

I can't figure out your birthday.

Aunt Sally.

What? Come on, me kiss. Me birthday kiss.

giving you one.

Ah! Ah!