All language subtitles for The.Goldbergs.2013.S10E16.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

Back in the '80s,

my Pop-Pop wasn't exactly
a ray of sunshine.

I'll call a moron a moron
when he's a moron.

And when he lived with us after
his place had a small fire,

his grouchy demeanor
got even worse.

Hey, boys,
turn down the TV.

I can't hear
the screechy neighbor gal

shuffling
the stupid tiles.

Ben, shame on you.

I will not allow you to insult
my Mahjong tiles.

Thanks, Bev.

What are you watching anyway
that's so important?

Little House
on the Prairie.

It's just like the video game
Oregon Trail,

but with Michael Landon.

I would've dominated
in olden times.

I'd tame a buffalo
and make fire from dirt.

Please, you'd be lucky
if mountain fever took you.

- Most likely, you'd be kicked
in the head by your own horse.
- Nah.

I'd befriend a coyote and ride
it to the nearest gold mine.

And Mahjong!
Ha-ha.

In your face,
family and beloved friend.

I am a gorgeous
and humble winner.

Impossible.
You had to be cheating.

There's
no other explanation.

Why would you say
such a thing?

'Cause I was cheating.

Whoa. Domino's is hiring
classier drivers.

Oh, I have something
much better
to deliver than a pizza.

- Is Benjamin Goldberg here?
- Who's asking?

I'm from
Dopplin Insurance.

I'm happy to tell you
your apartment
has been fully repaired.

And I have a check to cover
your moving costs.

What kind of scam
you running here, fella?

No scam.

I should say most people
are typically happy

when I show up
with this news.

Don't tell me how to feel,
sport coat.

- Oh.
- Pop-Pop,
this is great--

I mean, not being hateful
to a stranger--

but now you can finally
move out of our basement.

Yes!
We can use the hot tub again.

And now
I can play Mario Bros.

without a stream
of derogatory comments
about Italian plumbers.

"Gelato lover"
isn't the slam you think it is.

Italian ice cream
in hot water.

Ginzy, make that
happen for me--

I'm gonna go get my trunks.

Wait. What?

Well, Bar in a bathing suit--
that's my cue.

Pbht.

Aw, we're gonna
miss you, Ben.

But I'm not gonna miss having
my washing machine held hostage

by your Velcro shoes.

Best of all, now I can get
my morning paper

without hearing,
"Hey, Robe Lady,
I took your sports page."

It's a happy day
for everybody.

Couldn't find a bathing suit,
so I'm dippin' in the buff.

Hot tub, here I come.

Oh, no, my robe!

♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪

♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪

♪ I don't know the future ♪

♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪

It was March 8,
1980-something.

Me and my girlfriend, Carmen,
were getting serious,

which meant the time
had come to meet my family.

- I am so nervous.
- Don't be.

Just follow my carefully
crafted instructions,

and they'll love you
as much as I...l-like you.

With affection, I'm careful
not to prematurely label.

Do you really think
that I need these notecards?

I'm pretty good
with new people.

For sure,
but they're not.

And thanks to my tutoring
and her natural charm,

I was hoping she'd be a hit.

First up was Barry.

Um, I love how jacked and
Chuck Norris-like your body is.

What a wonderful
and accurate hello.

Adam, don't let this one
get away.

After that success, she took
a swing at my grouchy grandpa.

Mr. Goldberg, this bag of
russet potatoes is for you.

The whole gunnysack?

Eh, look at you.

Not a complete
waste of space.

Whoa.
Pop-Pop's highest compliment.

Then came the final gauntlet,
my famously hard-to-please mom.

I hope you like it.

I only used 14 cheeses
and every meat available
at the butcher.

Hmm.

I love how impossibly full
I feel after just one bite!

- Mm!
- Success.

Carmen had done what few before
her had dared to even try.

See?
They all adore you.

And now the final part
of my plan--

we leave before they change
their crazy, fickle minds.

But, wait, what about
your sister?

You don't have to worry
about her.

Trust me, let's go now
and leave
the rest of these lunatics

wanting more.

Okey-dokey, I guess.

Guess who has two thumbs
and ate
all of her strained peas?

This gal!

That is adorable.
You must be Erica.

I'm Carmen.

Oh.

Hello.

Um, I was
just heading out,

but I wanted to say
how super impressed I am

by your ability
to balance motherhood

and applying
to law school.

Right back 'atcha.

That doesn't apply to me.

I-- T-Thank you.

Your skin is super dewy.

I'm gonna go.

It turned out not everyone
was a Carmen fan.

What the hell, lady?

What's with
the hateful reaction
to meeting the woman I...

have
intense affection for?

Oh, I've met Carmen before.

I've met her but good.

I was 8 years old.

And we were auditioning
for the role of Annie

in the Jenkintown Children's
Theater production

of the beloved musical.

And you shared a fun
and healthy love of the stage
without issue?

She stole my part!

I was
a shoo-in for Annie.

No one could sing, dance,
or violently scrub a floor
like me.

You do carry the anger
of a child

whose parents
have abandoned her.

She scratched my name off
the audition list for Annie

and instead put me up
for Daddy Warbucks.

The old bald millionaire?

The old bald billionaire.

This image is haunting,

especially what appears
to be a real, lit cigar.

The rest of my career
in children's theater,

I was typecast
as bald man after bald man.

The King and I,

Uncle Fester,

Kojak, and the list
goes on and on.

I can't imagine Carmen
being capable of sabotage.

Oh, she is a monster,

and I never want to see her
in this house again.

I'm concerned I don't look
that different.

While my sister
was still stuck in the past,

Pop-Pop was looking toward
a future in his old apartment.

Is this the right place?

Everything is sorta yellow
and sad.

The bums patched the hole
in my floor.

And the fridge is working.

- Isn't that a good thing?
- Feh!

My old place
was distinctive.

How am I supposed to think
if nothing's dripping on me?

Well, if it makes you
feel better,

this place still makes me
bummed out

that this is how
we treat our elderly.

You call those insurance
asswipes and tell them

they can stick
that check up their keisters.

I'm not falling
for their con.

- Con? Now, what's
really going on here?
- Fine.

You want to know what's going
on, friend of my granddaughter?

Husband. But, yeah.

It's too quiet.

There's nobody here,
and it's just gonna be me

and the sound
of my own horrible thoughts.

Are you saying
that you're gonna miss
living at the Goldbergs'?

Way to go, Dick Tracy.
You solved it.

Well, why don't you just tell
Beverly that you want to stay?

Please,
they almost threw a parade

when they heard
I was leaving.

I'm sure if you
just explain--

Explain nothing.

I don't want to grovel
like a yutz.

I want to feel wanted.

- H-How do you do it?
- What do you mean?

I mean, you're just
as unnecessary as I am,

but no one seems
to want you gone.

Again, I'm Erica's husband
and the father

- to Beverly's only grandchild.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't need the complete works
of Josh Schwab.

That's not my name,

but close enough for me
to appreciate the effort.

Come on, spill it.

How come
they're not high-fiving
over the idea of you leaving?

I guess it's because
I'm kind and respectful

and super helpful
around the house.

Josh, you're a genius.

I am neither
of those things.

You're gonna teach me to be
a helpful schmuck like you

so I can fool those idiots
into letting me stay.

Josh Schwab,

what have you
gotten yourself into?

While Pop-Pop had a plan
to keep living at our house,

I didn't know
how to tell Carmen

she wasn't allowed in mine.

Wow, that was the most hop
you've ever had in your sock.

Well, I guess I am
just fueled by happiness.

Bonding with your family
was so amazing.

I'm still buzzing.

Yep. Bonded.

Just like the Krazy Glue guy
and his construction hat.

No one's doubting it.

I am jazzed to get to know
your sister better.

I feel like Erica and I
could be friends.

- Don't you think?
- Yeah, maybe.

May... be.

Why are you being
weird-weird instead

of your usual cute-weird?

Gah, fine.

You and Erica
have met before.

And she has this nutso idea
in her head

that when you two
were in Annie
as little girls,

you sabotaged her.

W-What?

I would never do anything
like that.

I don't even remember her
being in Annie.

She was Daddy Warbucks.

No, that was
a large bald boy.

No, that was
my insane sister.

And now she holds
a crazy grudge against you.

Okay.

I will smooth this over

and apologize
for the misunderstanding.

You're amazing.

This is why I lo--
like you so much.

And so, Carmen went
to apologize.

I am so, so sorry
if you're still hurt

by something you think
I did all those years ago.

Something
I think you did?

Okay, but I have
no recollection
of what you're describing,

and I would love
to just move on
and be friends.

There's no way
you don't remember.

The important thing to note
is that she's apologizing.

Let's not get lost
in the blurry specifics.

I don't accept her
empty apology.

She's speaking
in a psychotic whisper,

- but I think I heard the words,
"I accept her apology."
- You did not.

Maybe this was
a bad time.

I don't want to disturb
the baby, who is beautiful.

By the way,
she looks just like you.

Why,
because she's bald?

While Erica had rejected
Carmen's apology,

Geoff accepted
the task of teaching Pop-Pop

how to help around the house.

Let's get this thing going
before my fiber drink kicks in.

Let's start with the basics.

You've got to be warm.

Ask people how their day was,
and listen with a smile.

I don't think my face
can do that.

Wow. Your grinning muscles do
appear to have withered away,

but with practice
we can build them up.

Fine.
I'll muster a smirk.

Now, what's next
on your stupid list?

Assist around the house.
Like with laundry and such.

I'd rather live alone
than touch the older boy's
under-drawers.

Now get to
the next one already.

"N,"
as in never in the way.

Like the waiter who slides
in to clean the table

while you're
in the men's room.

You don't know he's there,
but you're happy

he's scraping away
your crumbs.

So, that's where
my table crumbs go?

Some bastard's
pocketing them?

Uh, moving on
to compliments--

this family thrives
on positive attention.

Blech. Needy bastards.
Isn't it enough to be alive?

Guess how many dead people
I know.

In short, you need to show
this family how you WANC.

Oh, no.

My acronym is
accidentally filthy.

No.
Don't beat yourself up.

I'm ready to do your thing
and WANC this family,

and WANC it but good.

In the hopes of continuing
living in our house,

my Pop-Pop was finally ready

to be a helpful member
of the family.

What is this, Ben?
Did you wash my wool sweaters?

Yeah, you're welcome.

Kinda a tight fit, but I guess
you're not married anymore.

Wow, okay,
it'll be fine.

I guess Muriel will just

out-glitter everyone
in her baby group.

Oh.

And by the by,
that golden mane of yours,

pickin' up
the light and stuff.

Yeah,
real yellow and bright.

It was incredibly hard to tell,
but was that a compliment?

All the nice words and you look
upon me favorably now.

And after that
awkward exchange,

Pop-Pop kept doing everything
Geoff taught him--

in his own way.

Oh, hello, Ben.

I'm just returning
Beverly's casserole dish,

if you wouldn't mind
giving it to her.

Sure. In fact,
I got something for you, too.

Oh.
My missing paper.

I already read it
cover to cover on the crapper,

so now
it's yours again.

- Oh [laughs] and, look,
now it's touching my hands.
- Mm-hmm.

Made you
a little study snack.

Whoa.

Thanks, Pop-Pop.

Is that a peeled lemon?

Oh, you betcha.
This is brain food.

And is that just
a tub of margarine?

Oh, look who's too good to put
a butter substitute on a lemon.

Now who's
your number-one grandad?

Why do you keep doing that
with your face?

As crazy as it was,

Geoff's advice
seemed to be working.

I have to say, Bevy,
I saw Ben earlier
and he wasn't a total crumb.

He's been making
a very confusing effort

around here, too.

This morning, he held the door
open for me. Hmm.

- I didn't want to go anywhere,
but it was a nice gesture.
- Hmm.

Well, he even yelled at me
from across the street

that my body looked shapely
enough to take a run at.

Um, you know, I was with
my husband and kids
at the time,

but in a way
it was nice.

Oh, my God.
Ginzy, that makes no sense.

Well, you know,
I've been playing tennis

and I drink lots of Tab.

No, not about your aging torso.
It's Ben.

You don't just suddenly become
a nice person in your late 80s.

The man's clearing
losing his faculties.

Oh, no. Well, you need to
get him to see a doctor.

I don't have to go anywhere

because I have the world's
best doctor right here.

- Barry!
- I was thinking more
of a specialist

or someone who hasn't
recently destroyed my lawn

with a pogo stick.

This better be good.

I was watching Manimal,
and he was a dolphin.

Barry, we have
reason to believe

that Pop-Pop is
in mental decline.

For sure. You know, the man
actually tried to hug me.

I was so confused
I almost round-housed him.

My GP could recommend someone.

Barry, what do we do?

Everything I say.

See, it is my duty as chief
medical officer of this house

to diagnose, treat, and cure,
whether they want it or not--

anyone who crosses
our threshold.

That's way wrong.
And probably illegal, just...

My perfect doctor boy
is gonna fix everything.

There is a world-renowned
medical center

like three miles from here,
and you're both walking away.

With that, Barry would help
my mom figure out Pop-Pop.

And my sister had figured
out a way to end her feud

with Carmen.

What's this?

You wanted to fix
our little feud.

Well, I found a way.

You decided to see a therapist
about your rage issues

and this is
your giant prescription?

This is for an open audition
for Annie at a small theater.

We're both gonna audition
and everyone's
gonna finally see

who deserves that part.

Erica, stop.
You're a mother now.

And I'm gonna teach my daughter
how to right a wrong.

It's fine.

Maybe it's time
to remind you

why you didn't get
that part then-- or now.

- Great.
- It is great.

- The greatest.
- Maybe something
even greater than that.

What could be greater
than the greatest?

- I'm glad you asked.
It's me.
- Damn it, that was good.

Good enough that you don't want
to do this anymore?

Oh, no.
In two days, we'll see
how good you really are

on that stage outside
of Smyrna, Delaware.

And it specifically says,
don't park at the church

- across the street,
so don't.
- I won't.

Well, you're not
getting my spot.

Because besides
the part of Annie,

I'm getting that, too.

Hoo,
that escalated quickly.

Yeah. You're really
getting to know my family.

So, Carmen had no choice
but to suck it up and audition.

Meanwhile, Pop-Pop
was still trying to be nice,

even though he didn't know
how the vacuum worked.

- What's he doing?
- I think he thinks
he's vacuuming.

But he doesn't realize
he has to turn it on.

This looks bad.

With that, Dr. Barry
was reporting to the den.

Hey, respected elder.

Do you know where you
are right now?

Of course I do.
A hell of my own making.

And how many fingers
am I holding up?

I'll hold up one if you don't
get out of my face.

Interesting answer.

Final question--
what day is it?

How the hell
would I know that?

Monday, Thursday-- they're
all exactly the same to me.

It's worse
than I thought.

Take off those shirt and pants.
I'll wash 'em in the sink.

Generous offer, I'm just gonna
run over here real quick, okay?

Well, I'll wash your pants
or anyone else's.

So?

Your instincts
were right.

His brain is mush.

Oh, God. We can't
let him move out now.

Save your strength.

You'll need it to
bathe and carry Pop-Pop.

I'm sorry.

Your wild swings
from terrible to vaguely kind

have them convinced
you're totally nuts.

What are you
jabbering about?

They think you're gonna need
to be watched

like a hawk
for the rest of your life.

So, they're gonna move
some German lady in with me

to spoon-feed me applesauce
and wash my bits?

- Not at all.
- Damn cheapos.

Won't spring
for a sturdy nurse.

It's all very surprising
but turns out

they actually
want you here.

You've got to come clean and
tell them what you been up to.

Or I let 'em
keep thinking

I'm a walking thumb
and I get it all.

As Pop-Pop figured out a way
to avoid being nice,

there was no avoiding
the showdown

at the big Annie audition.

Erica Goldberg.

That will be the last time
you say that name

without deep reverence
and awe.

- And you're
auditioning for...
- Annie.

Right.

But which role?

Annie.

Okay then.

I got a Game Boy, so do
whatever you're gonna do.

With that, my sister
pulled out all the stops.

She danced with a mop,
twirled with a mop,

did whatever this was
with a mop--

Sandy.

She even got our dog involved.

Good girl, Sandy.

I work well with animals.

And finally... she sang.

♪ Tomorrow ♪

♪ I love ya tomorrow ♪

♪ You're only
a day awaaaaay ♪

Yep. No one could deny
that Erica crushed it.

Break a leg.
And I mean literally.

You're better off
going to the hospital
than on that stage.

I, too, will be auditioning
for the role of Annie.

Oh, goody.
Another full-grown lady.

So, my sister
had a good voice.

But so did Carmen.

She could go toe-to-toe
with Erica in anything.

There was no way
she couldn't do this.

Okay.
I can't do this.

It's true, Erica.
I did steal your part
when we were kids.

I knew it!
Vindicated!

You were the better Annie.

Oh, damn right, son!

That. Is.
How. You. Do. It.

Back then, we were poor
and my voice

was the only thing I owned.

Oh, no.

And you had something
that I could never buy.

I mean, true talent.

So I-- I panicked,
and I did the worst thing

I've ever done, and I regret it
every single day.

And I'm so, so sorry.

Oof, you're making it real hard
to dance in the end zone here.

What's worse is I--
I tried to cover it up and...

lied to the guy I love,

and I...

It is dawning on me now
how weird it was for me
to force

another adult to compete
for a child's part.

Who cares about
your pointless break-through?

Carmen just
said she loves me.

Thinking that
being off his rocker

would keep him living
at our house for good,

my Pop-Pop took a wild swing.

Ben, dinner!
It's everyone's favorite!

Chili cheese dog cacciatore.

Ah, hey.

Sorry I'm late.

I was getting dressed.

When will my wife
be joining us?

Oh, no.
He doesn't know where
or when he is

and he's wearing his underwear
like a hat.

Is that bad?
I think it's bad.

All right.
Pop-Pop, listen to me.

Your wife hated you
and left you years ago.

Oh, nonsense,
I'll call her.

Operator, get me
the prettiest gal in town.

Okay. Pop-Pop,
this has gone too far.

Geoffrey Goldberg Schwartz,
where is your compassion?

Okay, goodbye,
Harry Truman.

- Oh.
- Stop eating your
presidential corn phone

and just tell them
the truth.

The truth?
What's he talking about?

All right, fine.

I'm not crazy.

I was just acting
like that because...

I don't want to go back
to my apartment.

But you endlessly complain
about this place.

You call it
a noisy craphole.

Yeah, well, I kinda like
this noisy craphole.

And the people in it?

A couple of you are okay.

Why didn't you
just say something?

I don't know.

I do.

He was afraid
you didn't want him here.

You know, 'cause you guys
kinda celebrated

when he was
out the door.

Well, then let's celebrate
his return.

Because pain in the ass
or not,

you're family
and we love you.

I don't hear that
a lot.

Well, now that you're living
here again, get used to it.

While Pop-Pop was feeling
right at home,

I was off to set things right
with Carmen.

Adam, I don't even know
where to begin.

You don't have to.
I know what's in your heart.

You do?

Yeah. Love.

For me apparently.

- I did say it, didn't I?
- And you meant it?

I really did.

I love you, Adam.

Well-- Well, that's good
because I--

Oh, God.

You can't say it,
can you?

I just wanted it
to be special,

but I just realized
that every moment

with you
has been special.

So...

...I love you.

I love you, I love you,
I love you.

Guess you can say it.

That's the thing about life.

One day, we can be so afraid
to say what we're thinking.

♪ Waiting for a star to fall ♪

The next day,
we find we have the courage

to admit our deepest wants
and needs.

The truth is, whether it's
our love, our vulnerability,

or even our most embarrassing
secrets from yesterday...

...there will always be
a better tomorrow...

♪ Waiting for a star to fall ♪

...when you're surrounded
by the people you love.

♪ And carry your heart
into my arms ♪

- Wasn't Erica amazing?
- Totally,
that's why we're here.

To support her
and for no other reason.

Geoff, I told you
not to bring them here.

But your performance was so... hairless.

Fearless!
He said fearless.

- Yep, it was truly bald.
- Bold!
He meant to say bold.

Like your silly head.

I really shouldn't have
brought you here.

You blew it again, Geoff.