Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, looking for the silver spoon.

Open to find, we're two of a kind.

Making it go, making it grow. Together, we're going to find our

way.

Together,

taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't buy.

Two silver spoons together.

You and I together.

We're gonna find our way.

You and I together.

We're gonna find our way.

You and I together.

Why don't we just give the workers what they're asking for? Because Big Jake

Gagin and his union want too much.

Besides, it would take all the fun out of negotiating.

You call sitting in a smoke -filled room half the day and all night fun?

I live for it.

Hi, Katie.

As the executive assistant of Eddie Toys, I should have been there.

There was yelling, gesturing, utterly vile language. It was no place for a

woman.

Edward!

Do you agree with him?

Absolutely not, honey.

But, you know, there are some places where a woman wouldn't want to be.

I understand.

Do good.

Let's go get something to eat.

Why don't you eat your foot?

It's already in your mouth.

Hi, Dad.

How's the union negotiating going? Oh, terrible, son.

Negotiations are completely broken down.

Everywhere. So how's the school paper going?

We're in trouble, Dad. So far next week's lead story is freshman mascot has

puppies.

The Fuller Flash needs some pizzazz.

Pizzazz? I didn't know kids were still saying that.

They aren't.

You know, I'll never forget our school paper had an ugliest guy contest.

One of my best buddies, Louie Bender, won it.

He didn't even enter.

You know what, though, used to work for us well is beauty contests.

That's perfect.

I can see the headline now.

Who will be Miss Fuller Freshman?

I can see the contest now.

All those hot babes.

Hey, we can be the judges.

All you need is two eyes and some hormones.

to being a girl than just beauty.

You know what counts?

Qualities like personality, intelligence, talent, poise, the ability

communicate, sensitivity.

These are the things that should be appreciated in a woman.

You're absolutely right, Kate.

And we're going to judge them on all that stuff.

Now the question is, should we do it before or after the swimsuit

Dex, why don't we go make Kate's dinner?

Next time, I'll take a Dramamine.

Gentlemen, I hold in my hand the entries to the Miss Fuller Freshman Beauty

Contest.

Wow, look at all of them. Freshman girls are just as desperate for recognition

as we are.

I don't believe this.

Boy Alvin?

Excuse me.

You're not eligible.

bottom. She's looking this way.

So? So she's had a mad crush on me for years. She worships the ground I walk

I can't shake her.

Hi, Leslie.

Hello, Rick. Hello, Alfonso.

Hi, Freddy.

Me?

How'd you like to take me to the homecoming dance?

This is a joke, right?

I mean, nobody's ever wanted to go out with me.

You're so sweetly humble.

loves you so much, she even worships the guys who hang around.

Whack me, huh? Yeah.

Be careful, Freddie.

Leslie's entered in the contest. She can be a barracuda.

Hey, watch it.

You're talking about...

I can turn into Chop Suey.

Hi, Alfonso.

Uh, uh.

Angela. Rick.

Do you know, uh, uh.

Angela? No, I don't believe I've met.

Uh, uh.

Alfonso, I've just ordered this extra large pizza, and I couldn't possibly

finish it myself.

If you need pizza finished.

if I join you?

Sure.

Has anybody ever told you you

have fantastic biceps?

No, never.

You must work out a lot.

Well, now that you mention it, I have had

We've been negotiating for a week.

I said this time we go in there and give that union a take it or leave it offer.

Maybe you should try a trade -off like they did during the strike of the

coffee workers of 59.

In exchange for less money, they gave the coffee workers a longer tea break.

That way both sides won.

That's an interesting thought.

Do you have any more ideas?

Well, I jotted down a few thoughts last night.

Would you have time to give us the highlights?

I'd love to.

Please.

I'm open to suggestions, but Edward, I'm warning you, we can't afford to be

pushed around by the United Cuddly Toy Union.

Have a wonderful afternoon.

Goodbye, Rick.

Goodbye, Corliss.

Why don't you go on without me? I'll join you in a minute.

Yeah, the dog leg by the gnome cottage.

That's what she asked me to promise you in the Miss Fuller Freshman Beauty

Contest. Oh, well, naturally, you told her you couldn't promise her anything.

She made me do it, Dad. It was a love thing.

I believe temporary puberty.

have to tell the guys about this, and you're going to have to set Corliss

straight.

Alfonso and Freddy are going to be here any minute.

What am I going to tell them?

Guess you just have to face the music.

Warwick, this contest is making us the dudes of the hour. Yeah, people are

actually saying hello to me.

Listen, guys, I have something to tell you.

I kind of got carried away, and I sort of promised Corliss Kirchenbauer that

she'd kind of sort of win the Miss Fuller Freshman Beauty Pageant. Well, it

could happen to anybody.

Now, who's told the girls that the contest is going to be won on ability

I told Leslie.

Well, how'd she take it?

I'm not sure exactly. I use mental telepathy.

Well, I was getting around to it.

Listen, guys, the contest is going to start any minute.

We've got to tell our girls right now.

practicing acting surprised.

I might cry, but I don't know if I can do it.

Well, maybe this will help.

Listen, about the contest.

Isn't it wonderful how it's brought us together?

It's been the happiest week of my life.

Listen, about the contest. I've never won anything in my life until you came

along.

What was it you wanted to say about the contest?

Good luck.

If we don't work this out, we're going to lose our girlfriends.

Not to mention our reputations.

is that a good question?

Boy, you can feel the tension in the room.

Not to mention my entire body.

This contest is broken down into four categories.

Beauty, personality, talent, and long division.

Without further ado, let the parade of beauties begin.

First we have Homeroom 128, Angela Cavendish, 36, 22,

That's her locker combination.

We're supposed to.

Whoa, right off the top of her head, too.

Okay, this is our 40 -second ballot.

Corliss, one vote.

Angela, one vote.

is ridiculous.

We agreed we would vote for the girl we honestly felt should be Miss Fuller

Freshman. Yeah, look at this. Corliss has one vote. How do you explain that?

Easy. You voted for her.

Yes, I voted for her. I was being impartial.

You saw the talent competition.

Corliss' bird calls were so lifelike, people started throwing crumbs at her.

Look, guys, I want to make a personal appeal.

I want you to vote on Angela because I intend to make her my wife.

What is winning the have to do with that i don't want to marry some loser

forget it okay here's five dollars i'm sorry i can't

be bought corliss bought you it so happens i care about corliss and i care

angela too you guys only think of yourself what about you i think about

as little as possible guys this is gonna ruin our friendship

Someone nobody can disagree with. Not even the girls.

Who might this magical person be?

Miss Bushmill.

That's perfect.

Everybody loves her. She's retiring next year.

We have a winner.

And this person truly represents the qualities of beauty, talent,

and long division.

agreed to accept less pay in exchange for their own vegetable garden.

What ever possessed you?

Oh, it was very simple.

During a break, Big Jake Gagin started telling me about how, since he moved to

an apartment, he really missed his beloved cucumber patch.

Well, I just wish you'd been around a couple of years ago. You might have

prevented the strike of the preschool division.

How long were they out?

This many days.

Well, I have to be running.

I'm having dinner at the United Nations. We're roasting Gu Mu.

Ooh, that sounds delicious.

No, he's the State Council of China.

Bye. Bye -bye.

Want some more coffee?

Why, thank you.

Rick, why are you running?

Wouldn't you have an angry mob of freshmen with cheese in your thrown

Definitely.

Guess what the headline's going to be?

Freshman beauty pageant fixed.

Rick Stratton, scum.

Let me guess. You didn't tell Corliss the truth.

Dad, I tried to tell her 30 times that I shouldn't have promised her.

Why couldn't I do it?

Because if I told her, I knew she'd never talk to me again.

How do you know?

All she wanted me for was my vote.

She'll never speak to me again.

No girl will ever speak to me again.

I'm headed for monkhood.

Son, I think you're making an awful lot of assumptions about the opposite sex.

I did the same thing, I ought to know.

I assumed that Kate couldn't handle herself in those labor negotiations, and

was wrong.

We couldn't have gotten that contract without her.

He's right.

Well, it's safe to assume one thing.

Polis and I are history.

Corliss. I came to apologize.

Huh? I told my parents what happened, that I got you to promise me the Miss

Fuller freshman contest, and they told me how wrong I was and that I should

tell you.

So I'm sorry.

It's quite all right.

But they also said I can never see you again.

Oh? But I talked them out of it.

Want to go for a walk or something?

Sure.

You know, you really do have big biceps.

Stay with me.

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