Original subtitles

Right, he's all yours then.

And a Happy New Year, Jock.

I escort you to your New Year's Eve.

And a Happy New Year to you, Fletcher.

Oh, yes, very witty, very true, yes.

Norman Stanley Fletcher, you have pleaded guilty to the charges brought by

court, and it is now my duty to pass sentence.

You are an habitual criminal who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard and

presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner.

We therefore feel constrained to commit you to the maximum term allowed for

these offences. You will go to prison for five years.

You wish to address the court?

Cobblers.

What? What Brian Clough says about London Clough. Look at that. That is my

paper.

Can I have a look at your dirty book, then?

Get your own.

How can I get my own? We're in motion, aren't we? You should have thought that

before you left the station. Look, when we left the station, I wasn't even

allowed a Jimmy Riddle, was I? Shut your mouth!

You can have a look at my angling times, if you like. I can't.

God almighty, Molly Codden already.

People seem to forget what prison is for.

He's paying a debt to society, not having an all -expenses -paid holiday

privileges and magazines.

You're going to prison to be punished.

I spy with my little eye something beginning with C.

Now you watch it, sonny, watch it.

Constable.

Look, don't you come up with me now. No, I wouldn't, Mr. Mackay, I wouldn't,

would I?

Otherwise, you'll wait till the train gets a bit of speed up outside MLM City

and chuck me out the window, wouldn't you?

Put it down on the official report as attempted escape.

He wouldn't do that.

No, I suppose not.

He couldn't spell MLM City. Wait till we got to rugby.

I'm a reasonable one, but one more allegation of brutality and I'm going to

you have it. We've got a long journey in front of us. Now, we don't want to

conduct it in an atmosphere of hostility and aggression, do we? Now, why don't

we all have a nice cup of tea? Both take milk and sugar.

Oh, no, you sit still.

I'll get them. Oh, well, I'll pay then. Is there anything you want? Tea with two

sugars. I want one of them individual proof.

He's a giggle, isn't he?

Well, perhaps it's because we're being Scots, you know, and missing Hogman

there. Well, they take it very seriously, these Scots. Oh, yeah.

Well, they take any excuse for drinking seriously, don't they, eh? I mean,

there's nothing social about their drinking, is there? I mean, it's not a

question of just having a few friends around and mellowing over a glass of

is it? No.

They just drink to get drunk, don't they, eh?

Cool, look at her.

There's only one thing worse than a drunk Scotsman, you know, and that's a

one.

I'm Scots on my mother's side.

Are you? Oh, that's different, isn't it? I mean, that's second generation, isn't

it? It's a different thing, isn't it?

Yeah, well, I'm a bit of a mixture, really. I'm Scots and English and Irish

Polish. Oh, your mum got a bad bit, didn't she?

No, I didn't mean that. I'm pure London myself, you know. Yeah, matter of fact,

I'm pure North London.

You go to Marswell Hill, you'll find a graveyard full of Fletchers there. Shall

I tell you something?

There's been a Fletcher around our way ever since, uh, cool, going right back

to, um, Henry IV Part I.

Oh, I've no heritage, Mr. Alf. I mean, I know I had a granddad who was an

ironmonger in Accrington. Oh, now, my great -granddad was William Wellington

Fletcher. Now, he was the last man in England to be hung for sheep -stealing.

Get away. Yeah. And there was Matthew Jarvis Fletcher. Of course, he was a

nigger with Jack Shepard. That's well known, that is.

Oh, so it runs in the family like this crime.

Yeah, yeah, probably, yeah.

I know there's a load of Fletchers in Australia.

Come from a rough neighbourhood?

No, no, no, no. I told you, Muswell Hill. It's very respectable, Muswell

Suburban, you know.

Broken home?

No, no, they just celebrated their diamond wedding.

I was just wondering why.

Well, when I left school, I went round the labour, you know, to appraise the

professional opportunities open to me, you know what I mean?

And, of course, due to my lack of scholastic achievement, I was unable to

the professions that I wanted to, like stop brokering or teaching tennis in a

girls' school.

As I didn't fancy much working in a cardboard box factory, I robbed his sub

-post office off an old circler.

And you've never looked back since, so to speak? No, nor have I ever been short

for empty stamps.

What are you being sent down for this time?

Oh, don't ask.

It'd be a farce if it weren't such a tragedy. I should have stuck to what I

best, you see, housebreaking, but I didn't. I lifted this lorry, didn't I,

know? Impulse steel, know what I mean? Impulse steel. I thought it was going to

be a doddle, didn't I?

I gather it wasn't. No, you know, why don't you?

Flaming brakes failed on me. Oh, no. It's criminal the way they let the

on the roads in that condition, you know?

And he was overloaded and all. So there I was with five tonne at me back,

roaring down Flaming Archway.

It's a wonder you weren't killed.

I damn nearly was. I went through three back gardens, crashed right through a

brick wall, finished up with someone's tool shed.

Did they get you for willful destruction of property?

No. Well, you know, knocking that wall down, I mean.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I asked for six other fences to be taken into consideration.

Get it?

Get it?

Pardon?

Never mind.

Oh, yeah, I'll tell you what. Hang on.

Would you like a bit of this? Oh, no,

you've only got a couple of bits left, haven't you? Oh, yeah.

What made you take up this lot, then?

Prison service.

Yeah, what made you fancy it like?

Oh, well, I always wanted some vacation that would enable me to satisfy my

desire to do work of public usefulness and get a free house and a uniform.

What's your notice, Nick?

Oh, it's very good. Well, it's modern, you see.

It's experimental. We've got a cricket pitch and a psychiatrist.

Still bird's bird, don't it? Oh, not in this place, no.

Now, if you were to take advantage of our courses, of our many occupational

or recreational activities, well, you know, if you put your mind to it, you

could come out an intermediate welder or an accomplished oboe player.

Oh, yeah.

You know, it's a pity you're not in longer. You could take up civil

Oh, yeah, a pity. Oh, that is a pity, yeah, yeah.

I'm not doing a ten stretch, innit?

Otherwise I'm going to take my world in finals and become a doctor of philosophy

and all.

You know, I'm an amateur botanist myself.

Sometimes I take some of the prisoners out on the fells and we explore the

natural phenomena of the countryside.

Oh, out on the fells, is it? Aye, it's lovely views.

Yeah, yeah.

I might put down for that, you know. Yeah, that might interest me, that,

Yeah, the natural phenomenon of our countryside.

How far's the nearest railway station?

Well, that's the beauty of it, you see. We're miles from anywhere.

Ah, aren't we?

You know, we've got an arts and crafts centre and you could learn woodwork.

Listen, listen, Squire. I don't want no reconditioning, no resettlement courses.

All I want to do is just mind my own business, do me porridge and count the

I get out, right? You'll change, you know. You what? Oh, yeah.

Oh, even some of the most cynical and ardent criminals have changed at this

place. Well, you see...

They respond to our methods, you see, which are not based on correction and

punishment, but on sympathy and understanding.

Ah, thank you. I forget whether you take sugar or not, but it makes no

difference because I spilt the most of yours on the way back.

But what are you going to do about it, eh?

Where's all his sympathy and understanding in, eh? What's he doing

this nick, eh?

He'd bring back the birch at the drop of a helmet, he would. What's the... Mr

Mackay runs several of our group activities.

Ah, yeah? Like a rock -breaking and compulsory pothole, you know.

How soon have you unshaped plates, sir?

How soon have you a shadow of your former self?

I bet he's the Secretary of the Lord Chief Justice Goddard Appreciation

isn't he?

You keep your nose clean, lad. Just show me some respect, keep your nose clean,

you'll be all right.

I'm hard, but fair. Yeah, like Leeds United.

If you like.

You play ball with me, I'll play ball with you, and you'll find I'm a

man. Oh, yeah.

Can I have a look at your dirty booking on it? You get to hell.

You have to admire consistency, don't you?

Try page 24.

Oh, dear.

How far have we got to go, then? About an hour and a half across the fells. Can

I have a Jimmy Riddle, then?

I did think of it before.

There's been nothing else on my mind for ages.

Why are you so reluctant to let me go to the lavatory?

I don't see what you mean.

Well, you'd better let him go. We can't stop in transit.

All right, then.

Run to back.

Thanks, Mr. McGuire.

I'm no mechanic.

Plugs in it.

Ignition.

Put the bracelets on him.

And don't you be thinking fate has given you a last chance of freedom.

Don't believe in fate.

Sounds like the carburetor.

Have to get a bus then, won't we? What bus?

Well, it's a lift then.

Who? Who drives round here on New Year's Eve?

Who drives round here any time?

It's a bit parky, isn't it?

It'll be dark soon.

God almighty!

Don't you know how to fix it, then?

Hasn't one of your many instructional courses taught you how to cope with

mechanical failure?

It's survival we'll want out here.

It'll be dark soon.

And they forecast snow.

Pull yourself together, Mr.

Barraclough. There's no need to take it out on him, is there? Look, there's one

thing for it. I am going on.

I'm going on to the prison. Now, listen to me.

You do not move. You do not move from here, and you do not take the bracelets

off of him.

Right? Right, Mr. McKay.

And you, behave yourself.

Right, Mr. McKay.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

God,

by the time they get to us, we shall be dead from exposure.

Like Robert Taylor in that picture.

What picture? Oh, it was a western about buffalo hunting in the deep frozen

north. He had to spend all night out of doors.

Up a tree he was.

Why was he up a tree?

Huh? Oh, he was avoiding the marauding buffalo, driven half crazy by the

cold. Oh, yes, marauding buffalo. Driven half crazy by the extreme cold.

Butters will be in about an hour, you know.

Got any farms or houses around here?

Well, there's a cottage not far.

Well, let's go there then.

Oh, no, no, we can't do that, no. Mr Mackay said we had to wait in the van.

Oh, well, we'll die in the van then, I don't think.

Anyway, to be all locked up, I mean, they only use it in the summer.

So what?

Well, how will we get in? Oh, Mr Barraclough.

I'm only a flaming housebreaker, ain't I?

Oh, I wish we had a drop of milk.

It's the only hot drink that counts, isn't it?

And you'd think they'd have had a bit of sugar about, wouldn't you?

Yeah. Here, hang on. Wait a minute.

Try a drop of this in it. Here, hold that. Oh, no, I don't drink.

What is it?

Scotch. Oh, no, no. Anyway, I'm on duty.

That's all right. It's medicinal, this is. This will revive us.

Take the chill out of our numb bones, this will.

Where did you get it?

It must have accidentally fallen out of Mr Mackay's pocket when he got out of

the van.

You stole it. No, I didn't.

I told you it fell off the back of the van.

Is whisky medicinal?

Oh, yeah.

Well, I always feel better when I've had a few.

Well, if it's medicinal, then it is New Year's Eve, isn't it?

That's it, no.

What do you mean, New Year's Eve? Look here, look. It's caught past. It's New

Year already, isn't it? It is. Well, all the best then.

Happy New Year. Cheers.

Oh, sorry. Go on.

It's like the defiant ones, isn't it?

I beg your pardon? That was a picture, that was. Defiant ones. Did you see

That was about two convicts who were on the run, you know. They were chained

together like this. Yeah, yeah.

Only one of them was black and one was white.

Yeah. If you had a bit of colour blood in you instead of all that Polish

rubbish, you could be Sidney Poitier to my Tony Curtis, couldn't you?

You know, we have a cinema club at the prison.

See, only last Tuesday we showed Irrigation in the Gobi Desert.

Now, that was on the same bill as Birds of the Farne Islands.

Oh, standing room only, was it?

Oh, no, funny, there wasn't much of a turnout that night. Oh, I'm amazed.

You know, my wife likes the pictures, but we don't go much these days. Oh,

no wonder. It's so flaming remote up here, and it's stuck in the middle of

Cumberland. Where are you going to find a cinema?

Oh, well, that's the trouble, you see.

No, my wife feels very, very bad about being deprived of the excitement and the

amenities that a city can offer, you know.

She's always... Terribly unsettled whenever we come back from our monthly

trip to Workington. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sure, I can understand how the lights of Workington would turn a young girl's

head, yeah.

What do you mean? Well, come on, mate. I mean it is in Workington. They haven't

even got Christianity up here yet.

You can't even go to a church social, can you?

No, it's different for you Londoners. You know, my wife's always wanted to be

cosmopolitan. I suppose I should have put in for a transfer to the Scrubs or

Brixton. Yeah. Oh, well, if you go to Brixton, of course, now you've got to be

Sydney -bitey, haven't you?

It's too late now.

Yeah.

So your old lady, she feels a bit deprived, is it?

Oh, well, she... She sees a future of frustrated ambition stretching before

Doesn't like what I do, you know, or where we live.

Oh, so over the years, she's...

grown bitter and unsettled, full of restless urges, which have manifested

themselves in different ways, like, you know, like bad temper and spots and

sleeping with the postman.

Well, there have been liaisons with other men, you know. Oh, we, you know,

got to rowing all the time and, oh, things went from bad to worse. In the

we went to see this marriage guidance counsellor. Oh, yeah. That helped, did

Well, it helped her. She ran off with him.

Well, you're well out of it then, ain't you, eh?

You're well out of an old slag like that, ain't you, eh?

She's come back.

Well,

people change, don't they?

I blame myself, really, you know.

Yeah, what?

I'm a failure, you know.

No, I'm only hanging on to this job with the skin of me teeth, you know.

Oh, well, I got so depressed, I... Well, I thought I'd better go and see the

prison psychiatric department, you know, let them have a look at me inferiority

complex.

Well, not a complex, really. I'm inferior.

Oh, come on, mate. Look, I don't know you very well, but I know you're the

of man with compassion and kindness and that sort of thing. I mean, that's not

the sort of thing you can buy, is it, eh? I mean, would you swap that for a

colour telly or a penthouse in Workington? Of course you wouldn't.

I don't suppose I would. Here, I'll finish this off. Oh, no, no, no.

Look, you see, it's no good going through life wishing you were something

is it? I mean, you are fulfilled.

You're doing the job you've always wanted to do, ain't you?

I mean, you've got to say to yourself,

This is what I am.

I am what I am.

And when it's all over, you can look God straight in the eye and say, I've done

it my way.

I've done it my way.

Confidence in yourself.

Confidence. Trust your own judgment and initiative.

Initiative. Why don't you take these handcuffs off?

You know, I've...

I've never talked to anybody, really, before. Not like I've talked to you

tonight. Yeah.

Why don't you take his handcuffs off?

Handcuffs? Yeah, it's the circulation. See, it's cutting off the blood supply

me head.

Oh, no, we have rules, you see. I know, but what about judgment? What about

initiative, eh?

I mean, are you going to do it your way, or are you going to do it their way?

Confidence in yourself, isn't it?

I'm going to take them off.

I am, you know.

I'm going to take them off because if I don't, I'll be betraying the prison's

principles and me own principles in not approaching prisoners with sympathy and

understanding. See, now, you, you are a criminal.

You know, you're hereditary and you're habitual.

But, you see, if we don't show you trust...

How can you learn trust?

Well, that is... That is irrefutable.

What more can I say?

You know, that... That whiskey's gone to my head, you know. Yeah.

Oh, I feel quite drowsy.

That's another reason for taking the handcuffs off, isn't it? We couldn't

down here like babes in the wood, could we, eh?

You know, I can hardly keep my eyes open.

Here, why don't you put your feet up? Come on. Stick your feet up here. That's

it. Get a proper decent bit of shower. Come on. I'll get this chair over here,

see? All right?

Oh, you know, I hope you decide to join my botany group.

Oh, what?

I should give it serious consideration, Squire.

Ah, you know, Fletcher, I feel a better man for tonight.

You know, I feel confident. I don't feel a failure.

Now I feel that for once I've used me judgment.

And I'm right.

Right? Aye.

Right about you.

That's it.

Mr. Barclough.

Mr. Berkla.

Oh, dear Fletcher.

Oh,

God, you did give me a fright. What are you doing here?

That's what I like to know.

Oh, dear.

What were you doing with that saucepan?

Huh?

Oh, I was getting some milk, trying to get some milk, see, for your coffee. I,

uh... I thought it might be a stray cow about.

You look terrible, you know, so you've been up all night.

Well, I couldn't sleep, could I?

Well, you know, it was a very nice thought of yours, but you shouldn't have

it, you know.

Oh, you could have got lost.

Oh, people are always getting lost on these fells. They wander round in

they do.

one of the governor's blue -eyed boys, eh?

Yeah. I must be the first man ever to have earned remission before I even got

here.

Don't give me any of your facetious lip, Fletcher.

I know you were trying to what one last night.

On what do you base that supposition, Mr. McCoy? On the evidence of our motor

mechanics report on the van.

It appears that the petrol tank had more in it after our journey than before.

in the tank was certainly not five star.

Now, I'm going to be watching you, Fletcher.

I'm going to be watching you like a hawk because nobody, nobody goes over the

wall in my prison.

Oh, no, Mr. Mackay, no.

No one would dare take the petrol out of you.

What did you say to the governor?

What? I said, what did he say to the governor?

Well, I gave you a rollicking, did he? No, far from it.

No, he congratulated me on my handling of the situation.

Praised my ability to keep calm in a crisis.

Oh, well, that's all right, isn't it? Oh, but you must have said something.

Well, all I said was that any naughty thoughts I'd harboured of escaping were

quickly squashed by the coolness and authority of my escort, Mr. Barraclough.

man whom I later owed my life, knowing the fact that he forced me from the

vehicle against my wishes to take shelter against the elements.

supporting and half -carrying my exhausted body across several miles of

terrain.

Only what anyone would have said, really.

Did you really mean that, Fletcher? No.

I just thought it was a good idea if you and I started off the new year on a

good footing with the authorities, that's all.

I've never been praised before.

Go on. How does it feel?

Oh, wonderful.

You know, Fletcher, you've done a lot for me this last 24 hours. You've really

given me strength and...

Confidence and, well, friendship.

Is there nothing I can do for you in return?

Oh, I dare say something will occur to me over the ensuing months, yes.

Matter of fact, there is one little thing now.

If you could see your way clear to getting me some reading matter, nothing

heavy, you know, the odd glossy nude.

Certainly. And when you've turned yourself round, perhaps we could do

about this cell, like shifting me to another one that faces south -west.

Because, I mean, I'm never going to get any sun in here, am I?

Oh, and this botany club of yours, is it Nature Walks? Is it outside the prison?

Put me down for that, would you, as soon as possible?

Thanks. It's awfully nice. Listen, I'll tell you what...

Thank you.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0