Original subtitles

Wallens! What are you waiting on? A trail of rose petals, princess?

Let's go! We got a game to win!

Get your hands off me!

Quickly, come and go!

You'll take me with you?

To college?

To the NFL?

To a giant mansion with a giant pool that has a bad hot tub that's connected

this giant pool so I can swim from one to one whenever I want?

Yes.

Crazy.

It holds ten dogs.

I put all my favorites on it.

Let us change your life, kid.

Our little secret.

I moved across the whole country.

I only have Peacebrook twice, please.

Once for a game in Wigglesburg, and then once in Wigglesburg by accident.

I should probably have marked Wigglesburg better.

Son, let me tell you a little story about the Beatles.

They played about 250 shows, and all this little shit was in and around the

of Hamburg.

And you know how they became?

The biggest band in the world.

In fact, they left him.

Hey,

why don't you go dance with Ted Kim?

Are you serious?

Yeah. He looks lonely.

America needs its traditions.

Behold, the ancient one.

Jane, where is it that I've had more wholesale than her grandpa's bowling

Take me home. Yeah.

I always do that because, um, you know, I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm a

little, I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm a little, I'm a

little,

will need this W against Middlesburg.

And break.

Oh, off the map.

Wallace is crambling.

We're not fighting.

Could it be that we have been this way before?

And, um... I'm an alcoholic.

Amita has a unique structure that sets them apart from other single -celled

organisms.

Hello, my old friend.

Living in the past, Hank?

You were a bright kid.

Even if you didn't apply yourself.

I bet there's a lot more you could offer Eastbrook High.

Uh,

forget.

Forget your preconceptions about bacterial reproduction.

Because most of it's asexual.

Which, you know, you kids should all be.

You know, until true love or whatever.

Um, it is protection.

Okay, let's see what kind of nasty bugs live in our mouths.

We just need everybody to spit in this. That's what your mom said.

Hey, come on, guys. Phone's away.

We have an important thing.

Mr. Wallace?

Yeah, Grace?

What's on our phones is important.

Why aren't we talking about the ick?

Okay, great.

Let's talk about the ick.

There's no origin story for ick.

We didn't watch it arrive on a meteor or sleep from a government lab.

It's just here.

First, we hardly noticed.

But each day, year by year, it kept growing.

It doesn't move, at least we don't think.

It's stationary as a plant, growing, spreading slowly.

It's omnipresent, but not bothersome enough that cars can't drive down the

street. People can't go about their youthful routines.

Most both. You can ignore the ink altogether.

Hoping it just goes away.

Especially with room of swirling that's starting to attack.

All right.

Bring up computer editions on the desk, please.

Have a good day.

Agreed.

How's your mom?

Fine, Mr. Wallace.

Oh, that's good.

That's good.

How's your mom?

Dead.

Did you see Charlie's TikTok about how the egg is spirit gluten? What's gluten?

That's the scene from the movie Armageddon. We have to take this problem

seriously, not turn it into a movie.

Bro!

Cultural appropriate much?

I'm a 64th Cherokee with receipts, and I'm telling you, Jay Guava wouldn't

approve of your capitalistic colonial mindset, son. Come on.

Almost lost my appetite.

This will make him remind us all to avoid new growth of the ick in the

men's room, and the jokes of it resembling his wife's slimy lady part

be tolerated.

Will ick affect the primary? We're joined now by our political panel.

Clearly, the ick disproportionately affects black and brown voters. Well, I

heard the ick started in China.

Bad eating weirdos. Maybe the government will send a team to help clean it up.

Well, we're definitely not getting any help.

Hola.

Hola, Senora Diaz. Mi abuela.

She's, um, how do you say bruja? Your grandma likes to make beer?

What a surprise coming from the ick -worshipping leftist couple. You kidding

Bruja is a witch. Mi abuela Bruja says that it is the gift from the gods.

over in front of the other one.

Come on.

The egg won't save us. It's over here.

Are you kidding, Amadou? No, I wasn't kidding. That is so inappropriate.

You're a teacher.

You're kidding me again.

I know what I saw.

Forcing egg removal on the American voters is government overreach. You're

right, especially when the data is...

Oh my God, I'm pregnant.

Have some class, you piece of shit.

Well, Griffin, if he takes you to prom, you'll let him play with your boots.

Okay. Wait, what? No.

You want to spend another summer doing steampunk cosplay at the Ren Faire? How

are we friends?

Hi.

Hey.

Hey, John.

Wow, that's really good.

What kind of monkey is that?

Uh, it's a regular monkey.

Huh.

I'll let you play with my...

That's racist.

Attaboy.

I'm bored.

Is the egg going to do anything?

It's been here, like, two months.

Jocelyn, the egg's been here for a year.

Huh. I guess I just never really noticed what it's doing here. What's anything

doing here?

Don't suck.

Hey!

You girls smoking? No.

I wrote a new poem, Industrial Love Stink, number three.

Going for that Ginsburg vibe.

I mean, it's what I was.

We're on, like, 13 seconds, so I don't, like, care or anything.

But I'll probably minor a poetry when I get to Ogle next year.

I'm not going.

Hey, what, you're going to get off the wait list? A wait list is a slow motion

swipe left of college admissions.

I'm not leaving Eastbrook. I'm staying here.

Just want to... Girl fat and old eating bill -beated sandwiches like the rest of

the proletariat.

She'll pay off with my parents.

Hank, heaven knows I hate to jinx a sale, but doesn't it seem kind of stupid

a man you want to marry to buy a car?

Honey. He's smarter than you look. Thanks.

Thanks. Do you guys think the egg is in the plumbing and we're all drinking it?

Probably. Congratulations.

Thanks. Cool.

Thank you. Are we done? Can we go home now? Don't be rude.

Grace has been down in the dumps ever since she got weightless to that

Thanks, Dad.

Tell the world what a loser I am. There is no shame here.

As an Asian American, Grace had to score 150 points higher on the SAT than her

Caucasian counterpart.

Just to be considered for the same Ivy League. Now she wants to skip college

entirely. Yes, Ferris. Tell me more about me.

Delaying life never really works out.

That's why we see the dentist every six months.

Fade wisdom from your totes fave teach.

Mrs. Brown is my totes fave teach. Mrs. Brown has swinging gums. Grace is a

Capricorn. January 10th, she hates unmet goals.

January? No, Grace is born in February. Grace?

Grace, are you not a python?

November. October.

Fish. Mercury.

Rice. Carved. Chinese.

MSG. All Asian food will kill you, hon. We're Asian. Done.

I don't think so.

I don't think that Asian food is so bad.

You know?

Is that it?

Shoot, well, you never know.

So I said to the salesman, this doesn't look like Mojave Ivory Metallic to me.

And he said, Ted, you've got a real nose for detail.

This is Iridium Ivory Metallic. And since we found out and sold the Mojave

Metallic to a folk dealer in Wickelsburg, you can have the Iridium

Metallic intended for him with full bulletproof UV protected windows.

At no extra charge.

Louis Vuitton pepper spray.

For you to fend off handsy college boys.

Please, don't get too used to it. Think about what you're saying for just like

one goddamn second, Mom.

Great. Wouldn't you agree you need to invest in your future? Sweetheart, Dr.

Kirk asked you to stop lecturing in the form of a question. Darling, do you

recall Dr.

Kirk asking you to recognize my need to process information?

My way?

That's wonderful, dear.

It's delightful having an expert's opinion on your compulsive need for

toys. Angel, Dr. Kirk says my desire for beautiful things is

natural and healthy.

Oh, well, I hope your car doesn't turn into a pumpkin.

Jesus!

Stop nice fighting.

Who cares about tans and luxury cars? There's a monster on the lawn.

Monster swing?

Thank you.

Fascinating, Captain.

All right, Hank.

Go time.

Live from

NYC, the E -Challenge.

Despite the viral TikTok trend in America, co -health officials ask you to

lick the ick. And for the love of God, do not dick the ick.

This is what we in the industry call a kick -ass letter of recommendation from

your toad sex -babe teach.

I'm supposed to enjoy this.

Grace, no, it's to help you get off the wait list.

My parents must be super desperate to talk you into this.

Grace, you know the Beatles, right? The Beatles?

The Beatles spent three years in Hamburg, okay?

But do you know how they became the best band in the world?

They had a unique dual songwriting team in Lennon and McCartney that accepted

constructive criticism resulting in albums with few fillers alongside

marketing with concept albums and music videos.

That's good.

Grace, you have so much potential.

That's a polite way of saying I'm not good enough the way I am.

Y 'all do.

You're old.

The participants for the non -binary rally for Haiti and the Kill Oak Rumors

bake sale must stay 50 yards away from each other. Ranger in my place tonight.

Big roast behind booze. Pass it on.

Hey! You know, Sophia, I've been practicing Spanish.

And I thought maybe you might tutor me. Paquito.

Paquito.

Quiero montar esta noche.

And the coochie.

Lucio! Did you use those filthy words to seduce Red King?

Oh, yeah.

And the coochie. The coochie.

The coochie.

I know you're still alive.

Okay. Long time, friend.

But, uh, bar's not even open yet.

I'm going to call you doctor, right?

Drink deep this nectar of the dark.

Fear not the plague. Use rubber.

Bro, you've got to tell me which of these bitches are legal.

Sarah Q, Ashley P, Pia, Tara, Mackenzie G, Mackenzie F, Tori, Zoe, Amber,

Kelsey.

Why does Mr. Wallace even give a shit anyway?

Who does he think he is?

Maybe she's had enough. I'm fine.

Why don't you go find Heather? She's madly in love with you.

Don't be a cop.

Hey, guys.

Guys.

Hey, Wallace.

Ah, man. Guys, you won't believe it. I can't even explain it. There was a guy

a mask. Hey, hey.

Hey, hey.

Hey, it's harmless.

Hey, why don't you take a ride with us? We're about to bust up a high school

kicker at the Hobart boys' house.

Steal their beer.

Party like we're 18 again.

We even brought an old friend.

B .O.

The ancient one.

Oh, well,

we did have fun back in the day, boys, but I'm going to have to say that I'm a

little too old for that these days.

And you know, just saying this as a friend, sometimes you got to admit when

have a problem.

I'm afraid we cannot allow you to paint such a wet blanket. The old Hank Wallace

was a dope bro.

What's with all this? Wait, wait, wait, wait.

He never turned down the opportunity to get turned up.

Not a lot of the old Hank Black these days.

Well, we've got a big surprise for you, Hanky.

You can ask for your hat.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Pretty sure you dicks are possessed. Possessed is an ugly word for such a

beautiful experience.

The X's are valued. We were chosen for those it does not value.

It consumes.

Whelming and numbing at the same time.

Yeah.

That's why we gotta leave Eastbrook.

Eastbrook? No.

I'm talking about the ick.

I think the ick is watching us.

Did you see Celeste's rocking cornrows on Insta?

Someone has to stop her.

Isn't a joke, villain.

No, it isn't, Grace.

Cultural colonialism is literal violence.

They've never stole the hair of my people.

Look, I'm gonna go make the rounds.

Listen to me. The cops are coming to break up the party so far. If you're

you need to leave now.

Hey, you're in danger. In case they never see you again, I need you to know

I... I might be your dad.

Hey, oh, we had sex that one time, and trust me, you ain't nobody's daddy,

Didn't you say you were moving to Kansas? This is not... This is gross.

Yeah, this is not a good time. I gotta go. I'm in Kansas.

Thanks for saying you liked my monkey.

Your regular monkey?

All right, Dorothy, 10 rubies from you.

They get killing people and eating them alive.

Everyone has to get to safety.

Mr. Wallace, I know a man who could use a beer when I see one. Just grab

yourself a cup.

God damn it.

Do you kids all want to be zombies?

And not the cool, sexy kind like in Harry Potter?

Take it rolling, thug.

I'm talking the demonic, soulless type.

Great, great.

Get out of here. We gotta go. What the hell?

Herbie meant to offer.

Look, Dylan, I don't expect you to understand.

I just have to get her out of here. It's so crazy. Oh, I get it.

Screwed the mom, now you gotta screw the daughter.

That's some real Freudian noise.

Weird old damn.

Hey, don't be ableist.

Okay. Look, just because you threw a ball a billion years ago doesn't make

special.

I can throw a ball, and when I'm gone, someone else will throw a ball.

Nothing means nothing.

Great, please.

Oh,

boo. Right when it was just getting good.

That's gotta hurt.

Right?

I think the way Jason talks to you is totally misogynistic.

I mean, calling you a hoe?

Personally, I don't see gender, but if I did, I would worship women.

That doesn't make any sense.

Gender binary doesn't make sense, baby.

I'm not going to

use the tool of the patriarchy to keep women oppressed and survive.

Now let's get into that dance.

I'm gonna bang a teenager, stud.

gonna miss all these knuckleheads after you graduate well my favorite french

modernist my fellow shard said we give each other memories when we leave each

other yeah i have no idea what you just said

and that is why you are the coolest girl in

eastbrook

I'm not falling for that again. I think I'm going to Picklesburg next weekend.

I've never been.

It's a Capuchin.

What? My regular monkey.

It's called a Capuchin.

I like that.

Ew, are you eating dairy again?

That wasn't me.

W, is someone watching you tinkle?

Listen up, scum -suck.

Exposing pedos is extremely un -

Don't let it cut you. Obviously.

Whoa, Mr. Wallace?

Oh, man.

Jasmine, I'm sorry I called you a ho.

you

Ease Brooke and secure the mayor. Get those kids someplace safe. Instead of

command center.

Hey, what's the most important location in this town?

Thank you all for being here.

My name is Dr. Althea Prentice, and I am in charge of the federal response in

this state. Now, the governor has spoken to your mayor, and we have been ordered

out of Eastbrook to our main mission.

We are not abandoning Eastbrook. I'm leaving behind a contingent to fortify

building. I suggest that you stay inside there.

You cannot help me if you go outside.

State, state.

What could be more important than the taxpayers of Eastbrook?

We're headed to Wittelsburg to protect your hydroelectric dam.

Wittelsburg. Here's what we know so far.

After decades in stasis, the intracellular cytoplasm known as ICK has

reached its kinetic stage.

How long will that last? We don't know for certain, but we are estimating

four to eight years.

So please, people, listen to me, listen to me. The government cannot save you

right now, okay? We simply do not have the resources, not without raising

Big government socialism.

Now, come on, coach.

You kind of scored $5 ,000 to give me a jacuzzi in the boys' locker room.

Oh, so football is socialism now, Hank?

You make me sick. People of East, listen to me, okay?

Barricade your doors and your windows, okay?

Stop with your things and your drain.

Because I say, please, again, do not go outside.

Our kids can still go to prom tomorrow.

Right? Yeah, you should definitely cancel prom.

My daughter is going to be prom queen.

How dare you try to take that away from us? Ma 'am, I am not trying to take

anything away from anybody.

I am just... You created the... This information. You didn't die last night.

False flags.

Classist actors.

Ted Kim. Kim Real Estate. If I may.

What? I think we're all on the same page here, Doctor.

Age -old kids need our lives to proceed as normal.

Otherwise, see it wins.

Wouldn't you agree, Doctor Francis?

No.

Well, I'm sure we agree that it's just your opinion.

And wouldn't you also agree that we are entitled to our opinions?

that an average John like me can step up and have his ideas are respected as

equal to an expert.

That's what makes the country really super.

It wanted

to

build a mock, they'd take it seriously.

Oh, uh, John, Brendan, please wait.

You're absolutely right about the dangers of the egg. I've experienced

firsthand. I'm Hank Wallace, a science teacher here in Eastbrook. I have a

theory about the ick.

Please. You're right about the ick going through a new stage of growth.

But it's also going through a stage of active cellular respiration. However, it

still maintains a stage of photosynthesis.

Meaning, it still has to hibernate.

That is how we kill the ick.

See, because it's eukaryote. And it collects UV light, converts it into

energy.

But it can't convert and collect at the same time.

That's why it only grows in the dark.

Outside and inside.

For UV light, UV light, man, stops dead in its tracks.

Wow. Yeah.

Hold that thought.

Okay. Phone.

How you doing?

Hello. Mr. President.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Eastbrook's high school science teacher has presented the precise breakthrough

we need to win this whole damn war.

UV light, sir.

No, no one has considered it before.

You think he deserves a Nobel Prize?

Well, please, sir, transfer me to the King of Sweden.

Hello?

Is this Carl Gustav, King of Sweden and presenter of Nobel Prizes?

Sir, what do you mean there's no Nobel Prize for super obvious shit we figured

out from day one?

We know about the UV light dipshit.

It's a goddamn plant.

Unfortunately, due to our supply chain, we have a limited quantity of both.

And all of our surplus has been shipped over here.

Nichols, sir.

What the globalists don't want you to know is that eating it gives men extreme

sexual... You will gain technical power!

Prove it to your right mouth. You've got to take a look at it.

We're skipping the vaccine. The egg boosts all of our immune systems by

releasing positive gut probiotics or whatever into the air.

I think I got it on my shoe.

Okay.

I know what y 'all gonna say.

Hank, you're an alcoholic.

What the hell are you doing opening a bar?

On the contrary, Hank.

We want you to do whatever makes you happy.

Live a little. Let go.

Surrender to a higher power.

Come.

Never crave alcohol again.

No peace.

No bliss.

Suck it up on me.

Sucker.

Nothing. You go ahead.

This one was way too bright today.

I've been thinking, babe. I support your decision to stay in Eastbrook.

This is a...

Wonderful town.

What's gotten into you?

One way up in the backseat.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you totally look like shit.

My appearance is all that matters.

I'm so sexually normative, babe.

We shouldn't be out here at night.

It's just who goes panopticon.

Fear. This is for joy!

Sit down, kid.

You, Mr. Wallace?

Hey, you okay?

Want a ride?

Great!

I'm sorry!

Dang it! Hey, go throw a bomb, kid.

You know, Grace, some boys in the animal kingdom... Bro, I don't need to hear

about the birds and the bees, Mr. Wallace.

I'm 18. Not the birds and the bees.

The wasp and the tarantula.

The female hawk wasp, when she is ready to lay her egg, she paralyzes the

tarantula with her stinger that then lays her eggs in its abdomen.

When the larvae are ready to hatch, they eat the tarantula from the inside out.

You know what I mean?

That being pregnant is like getting eaten alive by a parasite?

What I mean is, I think Dylan is trying to put something inside you.

He's already put it inside me.

I did not need to hear that.

I think Dylan is infected.

With what?

Did you see his athletic physical?

Where? He gave me the crop after he vomited.

What's happening?

It's in the air.

Are you okay?

I think so.

Shit.

Fuck.

Arthur.

Please don't post this.

I'm texting my cousin. He drove the tow truck.

Oh, nice.

Well, in the meantime, we can get to know each other a little. You know, have

a... A bonding sesh. Oh, my gosh.

So awkward.

Well, you know, we might have a lot in common. You know, like, um, what's your

fave animal?

Mine is a narwhal. Penguins are also dead. Keep coming on to me, Mr. Wallace,

and you'll be sorry. No warning shots.

I could never, ever. I'm incapable of thinking of you that way.

Hmm.

It all makes sense now.

It does.

Right? Okay.

Hard to believe you'd take an hour over dial -up to get a video. Was that before

or after your family died of cholera? Ha ha, laugh it up.

One day you'll be explaining Instagram to your cyborg children. Got any food?

Starving.

Weird.

Oh, yeah.

Well, never been to a steakhouse? You know, aged beef that enhances the

tenderness and the flavor?

I can't believe you're a science teacher. I wanted to be an English

all the positions were filled.

It was a weight lift.

Done enough science degrees.

Really lame.

Maybe daddy.

Are you maybe somebody's baby daddy, Mr. Wallace?

Knock up a cheerleader back in your swinging dick days.

No. No, this can't be happening.

My asshole dad is my asshole dad, not this upside down asshole. There's no

way to explain this, Grace.

But you don't exactly look, you know, and your dad is, you know, and you are,

you know, and you better hold on to something.

So 18 years later.

It finally occurs to me that I might be your daughter.

I just thought it was impossible.

I thought that you were conceived too late, and I figured that half the town

could be your father.

I just mean that your mom probably had sex with a lot of people. Yeah, yeah, I

got that. Thanks.

Hey, you could just think about me as like your cool uncle, right? Who takes

to Disney World and Parenthood. Stop it! I'm not some dude bro's fugitive

chromosome! Dude bro?

But, but... But nothing.

You're not my dad.

And even if you are, you never will be.

Total deja vu.

No, it's not worse.

Luke, Darth, Father.

Please, God, say I'm not related to this moron.

I didn't want this. I didn't mean for this to happen.

Cool. It never happened.

My cousin's on his way. Oh, cool, cool.

You know, but... Shut up. You don't have to talk, you know. It's the golden.

Silence is golden.

But, um... Nope. Great.

Nick.

Oh, shit.

You should leave Eastbrook and you should change your mind about going to

college. Why? I'm not leaving. You leave.

Are you dadding me right now?

I know it's scary to think about leaving.

I get that. Really, I do.

But big cities are filled with amazing things.

You know, like museums and fancy restaurants and Dave and Lester.

You are dadding me right now.

What do you want with a teenage daughter anyway? We're complicated and mean.

I don't think I really have much of a choice. Will you stop saying that?

Look, do you really want to be the only florist with a 1500 on her SATs?

Look, moron.

You can't come into my life after 18 years and suddenly claim me like a value

-backed coupon.

Where were you when I skinned my knee?

Or when my guinea pig died?

Boy, I like another girl to homecoming.

You can't be Disney dad, Mr. Wallace.

You don't know shit about me.

And you sure as hell don't know shit about family.

Family is why I stayed in Eastbrook.

Don't make the same mistake that I did, Grace.

You know, it took me a long time to realize that family and Eastbrook are

the same thing.

In fact, Eastbrook...

Kind of suck.

So does family.

Yeah, sometimes.

But you know, family is kind of like a band. And Eastbrook is like the best

of all time. The Beatles.

Creepy.

It's hard to imagine a more perfect album than Human Clay.

But then the band broke up soon after.

It always breaks up.

But you agree?

You are Scott's dad.

Who the fuck is Ed?

Are you kidding me, young lady?

Shut up, Jasper.

Mr. Wally.

Uh,

the mold. What? The penicillin. What are you saying?

Penicillin was created when mold got into a petri dish and released a toxin

that bacteria that the scientists were going.

Aha, I ate your poison.

Uh, we're not working.

Quit thinking, Dr. Science.

I'll let it go this time, Grace, but the cigarette?

The ink, you idiot! Let it go!

Are you okay?

Let's get the hell out of here.

And stay away from my mom's shoes.

Dad? How's this possible?

The ick.

It absorbed me into the earth all those years ago.

This town.

This country.

This whole rotten planet is falling apart at the seams.

The ick is the thread that will pull it back together.

Well, good luck.

It's going to take a lot more than some lab -grown goo to fix all that.

Or maybe your bacteria.

I don't know.

Alien.

It's a program, son.

And I'll tell you what that program is.

A program of chaos that rewrites itself, breaks its rules, creates the

fear of the random. You will never know how it works.

Its goal is contradiction and confusion.

No rhyme or reason. Because it overwhelms.

Some it devours.

Some it resurrects.

You will ignore it.

It can fix anything, son.

Anything.

It can even fix that lady, to be honest.

Not your first swing and miss.

What I want to know is why no one cares that we're in danger.

Danger from what?

The ape attacked me.

Okay. The ape attacked everyone.

The very best

wellness of our life around this field.

And the very worst.

Dreams of going to college, NFL, owning a mansion in Beverly Hills, a vacation

in France, and a series of Viagra commercials.

Wearing a flannel, chopping wood for Crystal Blue Lake.

And you.

I lost it all right here.

Don't be so dramatic.

Is Grace my daughter?

What?

No. Is that why you dragged me out here?

Stacey, just wait, please.

Hank?

Tell me you're impossible.

It's absolutely impossible.

Wait.

You know, actually...

Don't repeat my mistakes.

Find happiness wherever you can.

Grab it.

Never let go.

Dead frickin' kin.

Hello, Eastbrook High!

We're gonna start this night off right.

This next song takes you back to 2002!

You think maybe we should barricade the doors, you know, into the ick? The

government will take care of it. The ick is an agent of natural selection.

Next generation is going to be faster, smarter.

Probably get some good cornerbacks out of it.

She's joyous to all the lovers out there.

This is the song your parents conceived you to.

Baby, the rubber broke.

Baby, there was no rubber.

Heather,

ask him to dance now.

Would you like to... I'm not going home

until next year.

What? I'm staying here.

I want to be with you forever.

God damn, this song rips.

Ted, you gotta get out of here. No can do, buddy.

Gotta make sure the kids do Dairy Queen and get home safe. That's an EDM outfit,

isn't it?

Ted, the ick is coming.

The ick?

It's already here.

Besides, where will we go?

It's everywhere else, too.

Ted, just get my daughter to see me.

You're the daughter?

Maybe.

The windows are newly protected.

Screw you, Mercedes!

I'll break his lock.

What? You threw it in free.

Oh, Chris Haney. Look, Hank.

About grace.

No!

No! No!

No! No for grace!

Yes! Yes for grace!

America needs its traditions.

Don't you love me? I'm doing a thing in Eastbrook for you.

Dylan.

It's all right, babe.

We need to fix this town.

Don't run from it. No.

Are you serious?

Grace, don't have sex with him. Are you serious? You can have sex with a million

men if that's what you want. Not? Not with him, okay? He is it.

The old white guy saving the virginity of a helpless female?

Really? I'm okay with it.

Now smash mouth football, kid.

Sorry about your bra.

I really do want you to have a meaningful and safe relationship with

you know?

So not the time for this talk.

They say we're infected, but I'll tell you, we're the ones who are going to be

affected. We're the ones who are going to be affected.

Good night.

Hey kid, that's nice to see you.

Mr. Wallace, I'm going to reach down your throat.

You know what your problem is, Dylan?

You're a phony.

You haven't read half the shit you quote.

You summarize from Wikipedia and we'll look at it like a weapon.

You're a sad, pathetic asshole without an original thought.

You're just like everyone else.

Greg, I need to tell you something. Yeah, I know. You might be my dad. You

me already. No.

It's about your real parents. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're gonna

die.

Not here. Where?

No, I mean, we're leaving Eastbrook.

What?

You and me.

And the regular monkey.

Thank you.

Feels like the heartbreak will never end.

But, um, I'm here for you, Grace.

Mother! Griffin! You're a couple!

Come on.

All right.

Better get out of here. Find someplace safe.

Paladin. Stadium lights emit UV radiation.

Not as much as the sun or a black light, but hopefully enough to keep us.

Arm yourselves.

Whatever you can carry.

Get ready for a fight!

Come on.

You could have just opened it.

I mean, that was super dramatic and all, but... Now we have to crawl over broken

glass.

Pack the wire.

Grab all the switches.

Where are you going? I have to go back out. Turn on the circuit breakers.

Without them, there's no power flowing to the halogens.

Good luck.

That was super weird.

Are you Mr.

Wallace? It's complicated.

None of my business.

You can do better.

Hi, sweetie.

It's time to join.

We're mommy and daddy.

You all right? I can't, you know, relatively.

Come to the line!

I want it to be over. He's dead. He should be at peace.

It's not him, Grace.

Everything's going to be okay.

What's going on? The egg pulled out the ground under the light thing.

We have to go.

Higher ground.

Keep going!

We can make it!

Ah! Ah!

I've been tipping them forever.

Come on.

Go

quick.

Grace, I need to tell you something.

Whether or not you're my actual daughter, I'm so proud of you.

I'm so proud of you.

That you're in my life.

Are we done now, or?

Hey!

High school okay?

Definitely not.

Y 'all hear what happened to Gigglesburg?

Damn close.

Old town was washed away.

Dang.

Gigglesburg.

What now?

How's the new job?

Lucrative. Yeah.

Turns out all the economy needed was math suffering.

I'm leaving.

Yeah.

I figured.

After all this time, I still don't know what to call you.

Mr. Wallace.

Dad.

Don't say teach.

Well, technically, we still don't know.

Maybe it's better not to know.

Yeah.

Maybe it's not.

Like father, like maybe daughter.

Hey, hey.

I knew you'd be here.

Got something for you. All right. Oh, come on. I'll be playing football.

I was a quarterback.

The government's in turmoil.

Nobody's seen the president in two months.

And yet, the mailman delivers.

Neither rain, nor sleep, nor ick.

I mailed it in.

Great.

You ready?

No.

But what the hell.

Let's open it anyway.