Original subtitles

-Give her a polish, Pierre.

-[shouts]

[clapping]

-Welcome, welcome, to Fitzcairn Manor's annual

ground shoot and executive witch hunt.

-Why are we all laughing?

It's not as if it's even funny.

It never was funny.

And it never will be funny.

-Just enjoy it.

With a touch of luck, who knows who might never, ever

hear it again.

HUGH FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: Now ladies and gentlemen, I

would especially like to welcome the three men who made

all our good fortunes possible, my beloved partner,

Percy Tynebridge.

Cloak, Ernest.

And the finest solicitor in the whole of Great Britain,

Norbert Drimble.

Last but not least, this many septid aisle's only honest

accountant, Simon Loxley.

And may I introduce a special guest for tonight, joining us

on vocals, the apple of my orchard, the fire of my heart,

the woman who makes it all worthwhile, my

beautiful wife, Juliette.

[clapping]

-Mmm.

-Lipstick, lipstick!

[laughs]

-Oh, you're so naughty,

-Oh, I do love you.

-Two, three, four.

[music playing]

-[SINGING] Fiddle-de-dee.

Fiddle-de-dee.

The fly has married the bumblebee.

Says the fly says he, will you marry me?

And live with me sweet bumblebee?

Fiddle-de-dee.

Fiddle-de-dee.

The fly has married the bumblebee.

[clarinet solo]

[clarinet solo]

[clarinet squeaks]

-[chokes]

-Fitz!

Fitz!

-Juliette!

-Good god.

He's dead.

-[screams]

NARRATOR: He is Duncan MacLeod, the Highlander.

Born in 1592 in the Highlands of Scotland,

and he is still alive.

He is immortal.

For 400 years, he's been a warrior, a lover, a wanderer,

constantly facing other Immortals in

combat to the death.

The winner takes his enemy's head and with it, his power.

I am a watcher, part of a secret society of men and

women who observe and record but never interfere.

We know the truth about Immortals.

In the end, there can be only one.

May it be Duncan MacLeod, the Highlander.

[MUSIC - QUEEN, "PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE"]

JULIETTE FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: As it is for me,

it was for my dear, dear Fitz.

The heart is everything.

When a heart such as his beats, it powers the world.

When it stops, it makes us all a little smaller.

It gives me some comfort to know that the last thing my

dear departed husband heard was my special

love song for him.

It was a song that brought him great joy.

And it was with those words that I lay him to rest.

Fiddle-de-dee.

Fiddle-de-dee.

The fly has married the bumblebee.

Says the fly, says he, will you marry me and live with me,

sweet bumblebee?

[cries]

It meant so much to him.

-A dozen lilies, too gauche?

-Not for you.

-Have a little respect for the dead, laddie.

-Oh, it was a lovely funeral.

HUGH FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: Half a dozen people, for a man

of my stature, my standing.

-You're a personality, Fitz.

It's the first time in 800 years you haven't been broke.

It's made you a complete jackass.

-I'm a late bloomer.

Still, at least you came.

-Oh, just to see what you're up to this time.

-You think I organized this?

-A chance to drop in on your own eulogy?

I wouldn't put it past you.

-True, yes.

I might have enjoyed it, had I not been murdered.

-Oh, you'll do anything for attention, won't you?

-Excuse me.

May I point out that I died of a heart attack.

And Immortals do not die of heart attacks.

-Unless they're induced heart attacks.

-Exactly.

And the timing could not have been worse!

-Everything I own has been funneled into American stocks.

You know, it was sort of a return from the death fund, if

you will.

-But correct me if I'm wrong, you're a little behind on your

paper work?

-Yes, details, details.

Problem is I was murdered before I had time to

create a new me.

Ipso facto.

-[laughs]

You're broke.

-Well, if you want to be crass about it, yes.

All my assets might as well be buried with that coffin.

What do you want me to do about it?

-Find the person that married me.

[laughs]

Fitz, I am not a cop.

And besides, it's only money.

-Mac, Mac, it's much more.

-Oh is it?

JULIETTE FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: Duncan!

Duncan!

Are you all right?

-Oh, just needed a moment with my thoughts.

-Fitz used to love to spend time in here.

If you close you eyes, it's almost as if he's still here.

-I know what you mean.

-He meant a great deal to you, didn't he?

-He'll never know.

Juliette.

Just a little token of my affection.

Thank you, Duncan.

Thank you.

-God, she's beautiful.

-For the grieving widow.

-Yes, the way she walks in that dress--

toned muscles, passion simmering below the surface

like a volcano about to erupt.

She's a lioness in heat, MacLeod.

-Mmm, she's in mourning.

You're dead.

-You wouldn't.

-Oh, no, no.

-Look, if you won't get involved for my sake, then do

it for the sake of that good woman.

-What?

-I fear for her safety!

-Fitz, you're the one with the enemies, not her.

-She dies, the money goes to my partners.

You want to leave her at the mercy of the

bastard that killed me?

I was going to tell her everything, take her to

America with me.

We really love each other, Mac.

You've got to find the person that murdered me.

And you've got to find him fast.

Otherwise, the next funeral you go to will be hers.

And it will be on your head.

-Oh, no you don't.

-She dies a lot more permanently than I do.

NORBERT DRIMBLE [OFFSCREEN]: As his personal solicitor, I

knew everything, everything concerning his legal matters.

-Apparently not, Norbert.

And I gather this comes as something of a surprise to you

too, Simon.

-What are you suggesting?

DUNCAN MACLEOD [OFFSCREEN]: I believe she's suggesting that

if you'd been attending to business, then you would have

been aware that I had been made sole executor of Mr.

Fitzcairn's estate.

-Exactly.

-Precisely.

I'm afraid I can't read the will until two

days after the funeral.

-Be serious.

-We are busy men.

-Apparently.

NORBERT DRIMBLE [OFFSCREEN]: You cannot expect us to wait

around for two days on a whim of yours.

PERCY TYNEBRIDGE [OFFSCREEN]: Ridicious.

I don't have to put up with this.

-Nor I.

-Sir, can I get a lift back to city with you?

-I'm afraid you haven't understood me, gentlemen.

Maybe I haven't made myself clear.

Nobody has to put up with anything.

It's just that in absence of any Fitzcairns by blood, it

makes you four the primary beneficiaries of the will.

But a coda still states that only those present at the

reading will be beneficiaries of the estate.

-Well, perhaps I've overreacted.

-Quite--

After all, with this dreadful weather, it's hardly a good

time to be on the road.

-Extraordinary.

How life-like.

The eyes seems to follow you everywhere you go.

Amazing paintings.

HUGH FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: [gasps]

Ow!

-The artist's genius actually pains me.

[groans]

I say it again, oh, I must find more of them.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

-Loxley!

-What the devil did you do that for?

-You want me to help?

Then don't interfere.

-With a team, a team, laddie!

-Yes, some team.

Now that they think that I've got the real will, how long do

you think before one of them wants to kill me?

-You're right.

They're risky business this.

-Oh, thanks for your concern.

-Duncan?

Duncan?

-Hmm?

-Did I hear you talking to someone?

-Uh, no, just myself.

Could've sworn I heard Fitz's voice.

-Um, I sometimes think I hear it myself.

-Must be imagining things.

-Comes from my grief.

JULIETTE FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: Yes, I'm so cold

and empty inside.

If only I knew what was in the sure, I'm sure it would take

the sting away a bit.

-I'm sorry.

I wish I could help.

-My heart is broken.

Can you feel it, Duncan?

-Umm, it doesn't feel broken.

-[clears throat]

-That noise!

-What noise?

-I didn't hear a voice?

-Must've been me.

-Oh.

Right.

You were going to tell me about the will.

-No.

No, I wasn't.

-Is there something wrong with it?

-The will?

-Breast.

-Oh, no, no.

It's-- it's fine.

-Fine?

Fitzy said that they were extraordinary.

-Well, they-- they are but, you know.

Um, Juliette, I'm sorry.

I--

I can't help you with the will.

-Duncan?

I wouldn't thought that you of all people would have

understood my needs.

Really.

-[clears throat]

Fine?

-Mm.

-Fine is a well-kept motor car, a good

wine, decent china.

But fine is hardly a way to compliment the perfect breast!

-Would you try to keep your attention to the matter at

hand?

-Yes.

I certainly was.

-What's that--

No, Fitzcairn.

-This time I've got it.

It's definitely Drimble.

He dragged his feet drawing up the papers I needed.

Yes, now there's a suspicious character for you.

-He's no more suspicious than anybody else.

And nothing points to him.

Exactly, which is why we need a trap.

-A trap?

-Yes.

You have got to rearrange the ground shoot.

-Oh, you're saying give them all guns?

-It's brilliant.

Give them all guns and the killer is bound to shoot you.

-Oh, yeah, that is brilliant.

-[chuckles]

Yes, I thought so too.

You'll need this.

-I don't think this weather will hold.

I feel a storm coming at least.

-Tell me, Juliette.

Was this little hunch your idea?

-No, you know I deplore guns!

[ducks quacking]

[gunshots]

[ducks quacking]

[gunshots]

[ducks quacking]

-Damn!

JULIETTE FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: [gasps]

-Man down.

-I say, is he all right?

-Of course he's not, you bloody idiot.

He's been shot.

-He's dead.

-[screams]

SIMON LOXLEY [OFFSCREEN]: Are you suggesting that one of us

is a murderer?

-Yes, Sherlock, that's exactly what he's saying.

JULIETTE FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: [gasps]

Then was my poor Fitzy murdered too?

-Well, two deaths in two days is more coincidence than I

care for.

-Well, I don't mind telling you that I'm getting a little

on edge as well.

-Then why don't you find Pierre?

-Pierre?

You don't think Pierre did it?

[laughs]

I can't possibly believe that!

No, no, no, no, no!

-What I was going to suggest was that Pierre go down to the

village and fetch the local constabulary.

-Oh, yes.

Ah, that's what I thought you meant.

-Oh, the very man!

Maybe not.

-Dinner will be served in half an hour.

PIERRE [OFFSCREEN]: Marie, it's my foot that is broken,

not my mouth.

Dinner will be served in a half an hour.

Roast grouse.

-[cries]

Oh, Fitzy.

Grouse was his favorite, you know.

Oh, how his face would light up when he'd tear their little

drumsticks off.

How I miss him, city sweet little man.

[cries]

-Would you excuse me for a moment?

-Where are you going, Duncan?

-I'm going to see about the port.

Hello.

Oh, nasty weather.

Marie, right?

-Can I can I call you Marie?

-Yes.

-Marie, I couldn't help noticing the look that you

gave Juliette.

-What look?

-You can talk to me.

-Please, mister, it would get me fired.

-Fitzcairn was my closest friend.

Any confidence would be held in the

strictest privacy, naturally.

-No offense, but if you were that close, then you would

already know.

-Oh, it's that kind of confidence?

-Mr. Fitz never loved that woman.

-Yes, well he did get around.

-He loved me, monsieur.

-Of course.

Yes, I'm sure he did.

But how can you be certain?

-Because I'm carrying his child.

-We were more than just lovers.

-Are you sure it's Fitzcairn's child?

-What are you saying?

Do you think I would love somebody else?

-Oh, no, I was just suggesting that--

-You think I would give this body, this temple to another?

-It's just that, uh--

Fitzcairn never talked to me about a family.

-You think what?

The butcher?

The baker?

-The baker?

I didn't know he had a baker!

-The chauffeur?

-No.

-M--

Mr. Tynebridge?

But only once!

-Only once, Tynebridge.

Tynebridge.

-You make me sick, all of you.

Get out!

Stay out of my kitchen!

-Yes, absolutely, yes, fine, yes.

I just have one--

-Get out!

[gasps]

Oh dear.

A ghost.

[gasps]

-Are you all right?

-Did you see that?

-See what?

-Nothing.

I saw--

I saw a thing-- nothing.

HUGH FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: Psst.

Psst.

Psst.

Over here!

Did you see Marie?

-Oh yeah.

-Did she see anything, say anything?

-Well, for starters, she says she's carrying your baby.

-Really?

-Mmhmm.

-Is she sure?

-Oh, quite.

-Oh!

Now that's news worth dying for.

Just imagine it, Mac, a bonny lassie or a wee laddie

bouncing on my knee?

-Yeah, watching them take their first steps.

-Yeah, riding their first bicycle.

-Teaching them how to swim.

[chuckles]

-[chuckles]

You idiot, Fitzcairn.

Immortals can't have kids.

-The slut!

All this time she's been cuckolding me

with that damn butler.

-Yeah, maybe the butcher.

-No, it was the butler, Pierre.

-No, it was probably the baker.

-I haven't got a baker.

-Yeah, and once with Tynebridge.

-Tynebridge?

He's a married man!

Yeah, well, so were you!

-But-- but--

she's my maid!

Looking after these trivialities, we've talked to

come up with some hard facts.

Yeah, well, try this one on for size.

Trimble is dead.

-Dead?

-Yeah.

-So I was wrong about him.

-We can safely cross him off our list of suspects.

-So it must have been Marie.

-I don't think so.

She would've been after your money, but she

didn't murder you.

-Yes, well--

Yes, that was definitely the old Fitzcairn charm working.

[gong]

-Dinner.

-Wait!

I haven't finished yet.

-Oh, yes you have.

-No, Mac!

We have got to come up with a plan to get my money back.

-After I've had my dinner.

-What about me?

-You're dead.

Dead men don't eat.

-Oh, my nose!

-[mumbles]

-[mumbles]

Of course.

Of course.

-We've been waiting for you, Duncan.

What took you so long?

[door slamming]

-I know how Fitz died.

PERCY TYNEBRIDGE [OFFSCREEN]: Well, so do we.

He had a heart attack.

-Actually, he was poisoned.

-Poisoned?

-How do you know?

-A little rat told me.

-[screams]

-You got into Brazil last year with Fitz, didn't you?

PERCY TYNEBRIDGE [OFFSCREEN]: Well, it was a business trip.

I don't see that it matters now.

-Get into back country at all, did you?

-So what?

-Come across any poisons?

Something that would kill a man and make it look like a

heart attack?

Something like curare.

-[gasps]

You remember, Tynebridge.

We came across a small tribe of South American Indians.

They put it on their blow darts to shoot monkeys.

[monkey screams]

-Shoot monkeys?

Why on earth would anybody want to shoot monkeys?

-I didn't shoot anything.

What are you suggesting?

-Well, the Indians eat monkeys.

Draw your own conclusions.

-Be careful, MacLeod, be very careful.

You ate monkeys.

-Not me!

Him!

-Damn you, Loxley.

-Preposterous!

Monkeys!

-Well, actually, they're not too bad.

They taste a little bit like chicken.

[squawk]

MARIE [OFFSCREEN]: [cries]

I found him in the grout, bludgeoned to death.

He was laying by the car.

-Who?

-Pierre!

JULIETTE FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: [screams]

-God, how I loved him.

My life is over!

I loved him like a butler--

like a brother.

A brother.

-I don't believe this.

-Well, I don't think there's anybody here we can send out

in this storm tonight.

Not on a night like this.

SIMON LOXLEY [OFFSCREEN]: Monkeys?

-It's a sign-- we're all going to die!

-This is distinctly unpleasant.

-This place is the only way to keep him till

the storm lets up.

-Unless you want them going off.

-The meat locker?

-It's getting decidedly packed in here.

-Poor Pierre.

Who couldn't done such a thing to him?

-Bludgeoning his skull.

-Breaking his ribs.

-How did you know his ribs were broken?

-Well, he looks like a man with broken ribs, doesn't he?

Stop staring at me like that.

-Suspicion is an ugly thing, Tynebridge, especially in the

face of motive.

-I'm not the only one with a stake in the will.

-Mmm.

It's getting cold in here.

-I'm not hungry anymore.

-Yes.

Well, I think we should hang him up later.

We should all go to bed.

That is, make sure your doors are locked.

-[gasps]

What was that noise?

-It is only my heart, beating.

-Take me now!

Take me--

-Hardly cold in my grave.

-[mumbles]

--Tynebridge both went to Brazil.

Both shot monkeys.

The butler to the baker, the chauffeur.

-[groans]

[crashing]

-[groans]

-What have you done?

I'm furious.

I knew it all along.

It was Loxley.

JULIETTE FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: [screams]

-Stay right here.

-Oh, what was that awful noise?

-I don't know.

-More rats?

-Definitely.

-Where's Loxley?

-Well, he must've slept through it.

-Sounds like an excellent idea.

-Well, I'm--

I'm going to do some reading.

-OK.

-Goodnight, Juliette.

-Goodnight, Duncan.

-Goodnight.

-Ow!

Ah, oh!

Right in front of my eyes.

I never did trust that swine of an accountant, Loxley.

Ouch, that's my arm!

-Will you shut up?

Or I won't get you out of there.

-Me shut up?

I'm the victim here--

the murderee!

MacLeod, you've got to do something.

If I could just let Juliette know I was right.

-Maybe I should tell her that you're an Immortal.

[groans]

-Mac--

-My finger!

-The will is going to be read tomorrow.

And you expect me to sit around here doing nothing

because you can't come up with a suspect?

-Well, I hate to put this to you, Fitz, but I believe that

you were poisoned by your--

-Shh!

---greedy widow!

You've got my-- ow.

-That's ridiculous.

No.

No, she loves me, laddie.

If there's one thing I know, it's--

[groans]

No, Juliette is no murderer.

-She killed you.

-You're wrong.

-Not to mention the butler and Drimble, she had

access to the poison.

She had motive--

your money, lots of it.

Ah, damn!

JULIETTE FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: [screams]

-Juliette!

-Really?

-Stay here.

-You're making a habit of stating the obvious, MacLeod.

[groans]

-What are you do in his room?

-Nothing.

I'm not doing anything!

I just heard a noise.

And I simply noticed that the door to his room was open,

that's all.

-I think you're lying.

-MacLeod.

-I have a witness that saw you kissing Loxley in the hallway.

What do you say to that?

-Bad taste doesn't necessarily lead to murder.

-Thank you.

-Not to mention I think you killed Loxley

and you killed Fitz.

-[screams]

-Would you stop that screeching?

-Me?

Kill my darling Fitzy?

-Oh, I'm just so glad he's not alive to hear you say that.

You must be mad, Duncan.

-Mad or not, I'm locking you in your room for the night.

-[gasps]

Oh, help me!

Can't you see what he's doing?

He's the murderer.

And he's just trying to set us up.

-Ah, she's not accusing me.

-You'll be comfortable in your room until I can get to the

police in the morning.

-Big, hairy beast.

Unhand me!

I'm innocent!

-Funny, she doesn't look like a murderer.

-Yes, well, they never do.

Fitz!

Fitz!

Fitz!

OK, I know you think I'm way off base here.

But you can trust me on this.

Look, if I'm wrong, I'll apologize to you and her.

Fitz, she knows what I think is the only way

to force our hand.

-What are you doing?

-Um.

I'm going to bed.

-Mac!

I have a plan!

-Open up, there.

[knocking]

[doorbell ringing]

[knocking]

HUGH FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: Well, there'll be hell to pay!

[doorbell ringing]

[knocking]

[doorbell ringing]

[knocking]

[doorbell ringing]

[knocking]

[doorbell ringing]

[knocking]

-It's about time, my dear.

About time.

It's disgusting, bloody disgusting!

I'm shocked, absolutely shocked!

The most wonderful of men, suddenly dies, obviously by

foul means, and I am not even notified!

-He was definitely here.

-Excuse me, sir, but just who are you?

-[clears throat]

I am Hugh Fitzcairn, Sr., father of Hugh Fitzcairn, Jr.,

and sole heir to his estate.

-Hmm, funny, I don't see the resemblance.

-[clears throat]

I can assure all of you, both of you, that I will not be

kept at a distance in a matter of such extreme importance to

my son, a man I consider to be one of the finest to grace

this fair land.

It's bloody disgusting!

Hmmf!

Hmmf!

Well!

-[screams]

[cries]

-What the devil's going on here?

Oh, no!

Not this!

Not this!

Two-timing adulterous little slut that he loves so well.

You sure?

My god!

She's dead!

-[screams]

I do not believe it!

I ask you here to help me, and now this happens.

-I'm sorry, Fitz.

I'm really sorry.

-You're sorry?

My beloved Juliette is dead, and all you can say for

yourself is you're sorry?

-I know how much she meant to you.

-Oh, no you don't.

To you, she was just another one of

Fitzcairn's little follies.

But I loved her, Mac.

And you couldn't believe that when it mattered.

-Fitz, I--

-And you--

you even accuse her of killing me!

-Well, Fitz, Fitz--

I swear, I swear.

I'll find the guilty party!

-Oh, yes!

And how bloody difficult is that going to be?

Now there's only one bloody suspect left!

Even you couldn't screw that up!

-Where do you think you're going?

-As far away from this lunatic asylum as possible.

-Not yet, you're not.

-Oh, who died and made you king?

-You're the only suspect left, Tynebridge.

it doesn't take Scotland Yard to figure that one out.

-You're mad.

-The phone lines have been repaired, and

I'm calling the police.

And you're not going anywhere until they get here.

-How dare you accuse me?

-The last one standing's a killer, Tynebridge, and that's

you.

-It seems to me, MacLeod, that you too are standing.

I know I didn't kill anybody.

So if there's a guilty party here, as far as I'm concerned,

you're it.

-Fitzcairn was my friend!

-Yes, mine too, but the dying didn't

start until you arrived.

And this is merely coincidence that you control the estate?

I don't think so.

You're going to kill me too?

-No, but I'm going to stop you from going anywhere.

-Well, we'll see about that.

-[groans]

-He isn't going to need it.

I won't quietly, MacLeod!

Not like the others!

MacLeod!

Let me go!

You murderous bastard!

You won't get away with this.

I'm not afraid of you, you bloodthirsty maniac.

Help, help, help!

[muffled cries]

-I'll be right back.

-[muffled cries]

-Hello?

OPERATOR [ON PHONE]: Hello, operator.

-Yes, could I have the North Tidworth police, please?

OPERATOR [ON PHONE]: One moment.

POLICE OFFICER [ON PHONE]: North Tidoworth police.

-Hello.

POLICE OFFICER [ON PHONE]: Yes, go ahead.

-Yes, I want to report a murder, several actually.

POLICE OFFICER [ON PHONE]: How many, specifically?

-Well, quite a few, if you count the help.

POLICE OFFICER [ON PHONE]: Very well,

we have your address.

We'll send someone right out.

-Fine, thank you.

POLICE OFFICER [ON PHONE]: All right.

-Uh, Tynebridge, the art is on its way.

Tynebridge?

Uh oh.

-Looking for me, Duncan?

-You were dead.

-Why is it the cute ones are always so slow?

-Of course.

Brazil you found another poison like curare, one that

will slow down the body's heart rate--

JULIETTE FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: I'm impressed.

Yes, you're right.

And it wears off after a few hours.

Anyone but a doctor would be fooled.

-I was right.

You killed them all.

-A girl's got to do.

-Yes.

-Only it's not quite all of them just yet.

I'm afraid you know too much.

-What about the maid?

She'll be joining you shortly.

[gunshots]

-Next life, sweetheart.

-You really are a nasty piece of business, aren't you?

-It was a mistake for you to come down here.

Fancy killing Fitz, your husband, for money.

A man who loved you will all his heart, with every fiber of

his--

-Oh, please.

He loved every woman this side of the Thames.

-He married only you.

-And I married only him.

Now say goodbye.

-Aren't you forgetting something?

Don't you need to keep someone alive to take the blame?

-[SEDUCTIVELY] Detective!

Detective!

Every since my dear departed's heart attack, everything just

went crazy.

Drimble shot himself in a hunting accident.

And then Pierre was bludgeoned to death by Tynebridge in a

jealous rage over the made.

Ah, you know how French these maids can be.

How am I doing?

-Surprisingly well.

-And MacLeod, oh, he always has eyes on me, killed poor

old Fitz's father in order to keep the estate in tact.

And then he attacked me!

I shot him in self-defence.

What do you think?

-It's hard to see what Fitz ever saw in you.

[gunshots]

-Bitch!

Whore!

-So much for his side of the family.

[screams]

Oh no!

No!

-Full of surprises, my dear.

Flanks.

-Yes, I expected this, so I exchanged

real bullets for blanks.

-That's impossible!

It's not fair!

No!

Oh, Fitz left me a very rich woman.

I could use someone to share it with.

-Oh, I don't think so.

I've gotten used to getting up in the morning.

-Slut!

-Why would I want to kill you?

Just think about it.

-Because one little prick is all it takes.

-Oh, please!

Duncan!

Oh, have a heart!

I'm a free woman now!

-Hmm.

-I'm terribly rich!

You could have anything--

-Here you go, boys.

-Anything, Duncan--

-Careful, she's a tricky one!

-Duncan!

Duncan!

Oh, oh, stop!

Oh, Duncan!

Duncan!

You scheming ingrate!

-She screams a lot too!

JULIETTE FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: Oh!

Fitz!

My husband!

Fitz!

What are you doing there?

No, oh, stop it!

[screams]

-Well, it was quite a week, Fitz.

-Yes, good riddance.

-Will you be OK?

-Well, nothing that a few hundred thousand pounds--

I mean dollars-- won't sort out.

-Hmm.

-Ah, a few notary signatures, and Hugh Senior can pick the

money up on the other side of the pond.

[sighs]

God bless America.

-Yes, God bless America.

Well, I'll see you around, Fitz.

-Yes, thanks, Mac.

-My pleasure.

-[screams]

Mac!

-Yes, you're bankrupt.

-[screams]

Wait!

Wait!

I have an idea.

-Ohh.

We've had quite enough time.

Forget the drink.

-No, listen, Mac.

This is a great idea.

-I know, I have a much better idea.

There's a position vacant for a man servant in my household.

-Man servant?

Me?

HUGH FITZCAIRN [OFFSCREEN]: Will you listen?

[MUSIC - QUEEN, "PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE"]