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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,980 previously and according to jim no you guys want to be in a commercial oh come 2 00:00:04,980 --> 00:00:09,460 on show this is an opportunity of a lifetime there's nothing i'd love more 3 00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:14,120 going on a cruise well then let's do it i'm not an actor don't worry I have 4 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,940 enough talent for the both of us. No. No, no, no, no, no. We need to get 5 00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:18,940 a better husband. 6 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:19,979 She's got to go. 7 00:00:19,980 --> 00:00:22,300 Ted, this is my husband, Jim. And Jim, this is Ted. 8 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:23,660 He plays my husband. 9 00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:27,760 Oh. Some guys get pretty uptight standing around watching their wife kiss 10 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,180 look. Wait a minute. They're going to kiss? 11 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:37,800 Hey, handsome. 12 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,120 Hey. Hey. 13 00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:42,220 Well, Cheryl, I've done it. What? 14 00:00:42,780 --> 00:00:46,460 I've officially spit in all five of the Great Lakes and two oceans. 15 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:47,760 Oh, yeah. 16 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,340 It's a great story at the dinner table. 17 00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:53,700 You know, really, don't tell that story at dinner. Oh, dear. 18 00:00:54,260 --> 00:00:56,440 You drop the kids off at the Ocean News Club? 19 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,640 Yeah, they didn't even say goodbye. 20 00:00:57,940 --> 00:01:00,920 Hang up a sign that says, no parents allowed, and suddenly they can't become 21 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:01,920 Vegas for kids. 22 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,000 You know, I missed you. 23 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:05,958 Oh, yeah? 24 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:06,619 I did. 25 00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:07,620 Look at that. 26 00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:09,160 Two kisses in one day. 27 00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:12,550 Boy. Sure, giving them out freely, aren't you? 28 00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:14,270 Ted, me. 29 00:01:14,570 --> 00:01:17,010 You know, I can get goofy down here if you really feel generous. 30 00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:22,010 I knew it. You're upset about me kissing Ted. I told you, I'm fine with it. 31 00:01:22,230 --> 00:01:24,610 I'm fine. I'm as fine as a fine wine. 32 00:01:24,970 --> 00:01:29,250 Which, by the way, tonight, easy on the wine? Oh, come on. I'm telling you. 33 00:01:29,510 --> 00:01:30,770 Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt. 34 00:01:31,170 --> 00:01:33,950 Yeah, but we saw you shooting the commercial today, and you and your 35 00:01:33,950 --> 00:01:35,090 make a great couple. 36 00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:39,670 Oh, thank you. But actually, that wasn't my husband. This is my husband. 37 00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:40,679 Right here. 38 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,560 And she's funny, too. 39 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,460 Good night. 40 00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:48,980 Still fine? 41 00:01:49,260 --> 00:01:50,260 Okay. 42 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,040 Oh, baby. 43 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,340 Oh, hey. 44 00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:10,490 What is Ted doing here? I don't know, but be nice. 45 00:02:10,770 --> 00:02:11,770 I am nice. 46 00:02:12,050 --> 00:02:13,330 Okay, maybe I didn't make myself clear. 47 00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:14,590 Don't be an ass. 48 00:02:14,930 --> 00:02:15,930 Hello, 49 00:02:16,910 --> 00:02:17,910 everybody. 50 00:02:18,150 --> 00:02:19,150 Hello. Lovely. 51 00:02:21,590 --> 00:02:23,190 Well, hi. 52 00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:24,750 Hi. 53 00:02:25,010 --> 00:02:26,010 Ted's here. 54 00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:33,770 Isn't that great? Yeah. That's great, isn't it? Yeah, it's great. 55 00:02:34,790 --> 00:02:38,010 So, Jim, did you get a chance to take in the science while I was working? 56 00:02:38,830 --> 00:02:39,830 With our wife? 57 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,130 Yes, I did, actually. 58 00:02:43,490 --> 00:02:47,710 I went to the southernmost point of the United States, and I mooned Castro. 59 00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:51,530 Well, I guess the ball's in his court now. 60 00:02:54,470 --> 00:02:56,530 Wow. No chair for the Andy man, huh? 61 00:02:57,150 --> 00:02:59,110 No, no, no, no. We can work this out. 62 00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:19,700 Cozy. So, Ted, how did you get into the acting game? Well, I was a camp 63 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,640 counselor for special needs kids, and we did a midsummer night's dream. 64 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,080 I caught the bug. 65 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,440 Oh, that must have been so rewarding. 66 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:29,860 I went to camp. 67 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,180 Yeah, and it was this big swimming hole, right? 68 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,580 And I would do cannonballs that would bring birds out of the sky. 69 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:42,740 Well, we didn't have a swimming hole. Most of the kids were confined to 70 00:03:42,740 --> 00:03:46,340 wheelchairs. Oh, boy, you missed out. 71 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,380 Hi, what will we be drinking this evening? 72 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,460 Oh, Jim, how about a nice bottle of Chardonnay, huh? I'll take a look at the 73 00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:55,460 wine list. 74 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,020 I once played a snotty wine to do it in an Alton Twins movie. 75 00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:01,300 I saw that. You were snotty. 76 00:04:01,580 --> 00:04:02,620 Thank you very much. 77 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,280 Andy could work out there today. 78 00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:14,300 You'll find that I'm good at a lot of things. 79 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:21,700 What do you say later we go test the stabilizers out on this ship? 80 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,740 Andy, I'm gay. 81 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:28,620 Oh, I didn't know. 82 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,020 It just happened. 83 00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:37,460 What's with this technique? 84 00:04:39,370 --> 00:04:42,590 You've been working all day. I haven't seen Cheryl. Now I've got to share her 85 00:04:42,590 --> 00:04:43,710 with Ted. I'm sorry. 86 00:04:44,330 --> 00:04:46,790 My boss insisted. I couldn't do anything about it. 87 00:04:47,450 --> 00:04:49,350 Look, why don't you come by the set tomorrow? Hang on. 88 00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:51,010 You got a part for me? 89 00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:54,150 No. It's this bartender thing. 90 00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:56,050 I can play bartender. 91 00:04:56,410 --> 00:04:58,350 I can play bartender. No. Come on, Gina. 92 00:04:59,230 --> 00:05:02,130 If it wasn't for me, Cheryl wouldn't be here right now. You owe me. 93 00:05:02,630 --> 00:05:05,090 Let me play the bartender. Let me play the bartender. Let me play the 94 00:05:05,210 --> 00:05:06,210 What? 95 00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:08,950 I'll see what I can do. But you better not embarrass me. 96 00:05:10,190 --> 00:05:11,350 That really hurts my feelings. 97 00:05:12,430 --> 00:05:13,850 Since when do I embarrass people? 98 00:05:14,110 --> 00:05:15,110 I haven't embarrassed anybody. 99 00:05:16,990 --> 00:05:19,950 Hey, bread guy. Bread guy. Yeah, just throw me a roll, would you? 100 00:05:21,210 --> 00:05:22,210 Ow! 101 00:05:28,050 --> 00:05:29,070 Hey, Carol. 102 00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,069 How's it going? 103 00:05:30,070 --> 00:05:31,070 Oh, fine. 104 00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:32,290 I'm just having a little trouble waking up. 105 00:05:32,510 --> 00:05:34,070 It's taken care of. Boy! 106 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:39,960 Thank you, Dana. 107 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,320 As I was getting the director new underwear, I thought, how could this job 108 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,400 possibly get more demeaning? 109 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:50,120 Get Cheryl a coffee with skim milk. No, no, he doesn't have to do it. Actually, 110 00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:51,140 I'll have one, too. 111 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,740 Dana. Oh, and some croissants. 112 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,180 Oh, chocolate for me. 113 00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:57,780 Yeah, 114 00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:00,260 would you warm him up? 115 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:05,860 I like this. It's like having our own little helper monkey. Yeah, he's my 116 00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:16,160 Libyans? I said that without giggling. 117 00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:18,260 You're the bartender? 118 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:20,500 No, I'm Esteban. 119 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:22,860 From Albania. 120 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,680 Is that a mustache? 121 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:28,600 You like it? 122 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,000 I did it myself. I don't know why, I just thought Esteban would have one. 123 00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:33,220 Okay, 124 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:37,880 bartender pours two drinks. 125 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,980 Happy couple, smiles and toasts. 126 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:42,340 Is that a mustache? 127 00:06:43,679 --> 00:06:46,480 Yes, I made it myself. I thought Esteban would have one. 128 00:06:48,180 --> 00:06:49,180 Good. 129 00:06:52,340 --> 00:06:53,680 I play harmonica. 130 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,860 Is there any way we work that in? 131 00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:57,220 Harmonica? 132 00:06:57,820 --> 00:06:59,120 And action. 133 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:56,600 I thought Esteban would do something like that. 134 00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:00,200 I like what you're doing. Thank you. 135 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,960 But can you bring it down a little? 136 00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:05,780 Sure, sure. How much? 137 00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,180 To just handing them the drinks. 138 00:08:11,460 --> 00:08:12,460 Sorry. 139 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,060 Thought you wanted it to be good. 140 00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:56,470 and I'm freshly squeezed. 141 00:08:57,490 --> 00:08:58,690 What does that even mean? 142 00:08:59,270 --> 00:09:00,570 It's showbiz talk, Cheryl. 143 00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:01,990 Ted, tell her. 144 00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:04,290 That's a new one to me, Esteban. 145 00:09:07,550 --> 00:09:11,110 Jim, Jim, can I talk to you for a second? I'm working here. No, no, 146 00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:12,110 problem with your wardrobe. 147 00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:14,150 Really? What's the matter? 148 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:16,150 You're in it and they want it back. 149 00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:20,570 You firing me? Good guess. 150 00:09:20,870 --> 00:09:21,849 I'm Dina. 151 00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:23,130 Dina. No, no, no, no. 152 00:09:23,770 --> 00:09:26,760 Dina wanted me to handle it. Besides, she already got to fire you, and I 153 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,180 my shot, so let's go. 154 00:09:28,540 --> 00:09:30,400 Go away. I'm not going anywhere with you. No. 155 00:09:30,780 --> 00:09:31,780 Make me. 156 00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:09,940 I missed you very much. 157 00:10:12,140 --> 00:10:13,140 Hey. 158 00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:14,860 Well, hello, movie star. 159 00:10:15,220 --> 00:10:17,340 Hello. Would you like to have a drink with your husband? 160 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,740 You know, I would. Have you seen him, Esteban? 161 00:10:20,940 --> 00:10:22,600 Hey, hey, look what we have here. 162 00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:25,140 It's my wife and her husband. 163 00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:28,200 That's a good one, Ted. 164 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,220 You're everything. You're like an actor, comedian, magician. 165 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,840 You're a jackass of all trades, huh? 166 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:25,719 I say two. 167 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:29,760 Take the hat to your left and put it on. And when the music stops, if you don't 168 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,100 have a hat, you're out. 169 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,440 Vamonos. 170 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:36,660 Okay, here we go. 171 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:37,920 Two to the left. 172 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,220 It says here they're making flubber in the Oceaneers Club. 173 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,040 Nah, we like the latter. 174 00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:13,440 Hey, Goofy's doing calisthenics poolside. 175 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,590 You're going to seduce me. The girls are right there. 176 00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:42,350 I will keep it really quiet. 177 00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,090 What is with you? 178 00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:45,690 What? What? 179 00:12:45,950 --> 00:12:48,630 You said you're okay with this Ted thing and next thing I know you're punching 180 00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:49,349 him out. 181 00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:52,010 I didn't punch him out. He ran into my elbow. 182 00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:54,290 For God's sake. 183 00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,110 What? Are you guys fighting? 184 00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:57,510 No, honey. 185 00:12:57,930 --> 00:13:00,110 Now you're confusing me because I thought we were fighting. 186 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,840 broken, and I think we can cover up the bruise with makeup, but my boss is not 187 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,940 happy. Yeah, well, to be fair, I don't think she was a happy person to begin 188 00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:43,620 with. Come on, girls. 189 00:13:45,260 --> 00:13:47,520 We need you on camera in a half an hour. 190 00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:52,100 And Jim, I may not make it to Haiti, but I have the rest of my life to make you 191 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:54,840 pay for this week, and I'm going to start by giving you this dirty look. 192 00:13:58,100 --> 00:13:58,859 That's right. 193 00:13:58,860 --> 00:13:59,860 Get used to it. 194 00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:14,190 didn't actually do this you're gonna actually kiss this creep yes jim 195 00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,900 Ready for some make -out? I mean make -up. Sorry, Jim. 196 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,680 Me? Andy, one of the extra kids threw up. Can you get up here with the mom? 197 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,660 Well, it sure as hell isn't about me! 198 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:56,400 Okay, now, we're looking at each other. This is the big moment. 199 00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:58,980 We've had the best vacation ever. We're holding hands. 200 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,200 We're in love. 201 00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:02,880 Remember, we're on Disney's magical island. 202 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,880 Cheryl, where do you think you're going? I've got to talk to Cheryl for a 203 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,600 minute, Annie. Let me go. No, sorry, Jim. No can do. Fine. 204 00:16:10,460 --> 00:16:12,420 Well, if you're going to make me sit out here in the sun, at least give me some 205 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:13,480 sunscreen. Here. 206 00:16:13,780 --> 00:16:15,340 Let me go. All right, all right. Fine. 207 00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:19,380 Cheryl. 208 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:22,160 Cheryl. 209 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,000 Cheryl, I do know who I married. I want you to kiss him if you have to. 210 00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:28,260 Cut. 211 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,100 I believe this. 212 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:31,700 Jim. 213 00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:35,030 ruining things. What's going on here? 214 00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:36,569 Where's Cheryl? 215 00:16:36,570 --> 00:16:37,930 She didn't want to do the kiss scene. 216 00:16:39,090 --> 00:16:41,970 Really? She played the sister card. What could I do? 217 00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:45,430 I was a good guy and I got my own way. Yes! 218 00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:49,290 Where's my lovely wife? Probably looking for you. 219 00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:52,610 Oh, so she didn't want to do the kiss, huh? I take that, pretty boy. 220 00:16:53,090 --> 00:16:54,650 Jim, could you just leave? 221 00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:59,410 Yeah, um, do I still have to... No, the cruise is still free. 222 00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:01,990 Yes! This really is a magical island. 223 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,060 Okay, and action. 224 00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:12,660 And we're leaning in for the kiss. And romance, romance, romance. 225 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,560 And cut. 226 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,480 That's a wrap. 227 00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:28,680 Okay, was it me or was that kiss special? 228 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:33,280 Dana, I'm a professional. When I'm on the job... My main focus is... Drinks 229 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,280 later? Oh, God, yes. 230 00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:38,020 Nice job. 231 00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:39,399 Drinks later? 232 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,400 Oh, God, yes. 233 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:43,480 Hey, great work today. 234 00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:44,820 Thank you. 235 00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:46,260 So, uh, drinks later? 236 00:17:46,540 --> 00:17:47,580 Oh, God, yes. 237 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:52,520 Hey, sis. 238 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:56,860 Thanks for the free trip. Hey, thanks for taking my crap all week. No problem. 239 00:17:57,540 --> 00:18:00,280 By the way, I've been spitting in your coffee the entire cruise. 240 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,020 Please, I knew you'd do that, so I've been switching it with your coffee. 241 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:07,880 Damn it! 242 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,520 I drank my own spit! 243 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,960 I drank my own spit! 244 00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:22,380 Hey. 245 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,520 Ready? 246 00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:43,210 I went to the shoot trying to find you and tell you that it's okay that you 247 00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:44,210 kissed him. 248 00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:46,110 And I really meant it this time. 249 00:18:46,850 --> 00:18:48,250 I wasn't going to lie or anything. 250 00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:51,990 But you weren't there. 251 00:18:52,230 --> 00:18:53,230 You didn't do it. 252 00:18:54,270 --> 00:18:55,370 What? No. 253 00:18:57,510 --> 00:19:00,570 Call me old -fashioned. I only want to kiss my unreasonable husband. 254 00:19:02,530 --> 00:19:03,530 Okay. 255 00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:04,750 New rule. 256 00:19:04,830 --> 00:19:05,830 Only one husband. 257 00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:08,950 Yeah, fine, but you know, Jim, you didn't have to hit Tim. Oh, it was an 258 00:19:08,950 --> 00:19:12,050 accident, honey. I'm very competitive. I wanted that hat. I didn't want to get 259 00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:13,090 kicked out in front of the kids. 260 00:19:13,670 --> 00:19:16,310 Until last night on the ship, we really want to get into this one. 261 00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:18,330 Right, you're right. 262 00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,490 Let's save it for the plane that didn't bring a book. 263 00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:27,890 You know, I do know who I'm marrying. 264 00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:29,330 Yeah? 265 00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:30,390 I love you. 266 00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:34,950 Me too. 267 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:53,880 It's the first star. Make a wish. 268 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,120 Well, I don't see it. Would you just go with me on this and make a wish? 269 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:07,500 What do you wish for? 270 00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,940 I wish that we'd be together forever and we'd always be this happy. 271 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:14,240 How about you? 272 00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:16,200 What do I wish for? You know what I always wish for. 19024