Original subtitles

Come and knock on our door. Come and knock on our door.

We've been waiting for you.

We've been waiting for you.

Where the kisses are hers and hers and his sweet company too.

Come and dance on our floor.

Come and dance on our floor. Take a step that is new. Take a step that is new.

We've a love of old space that needs your face. Sweet company too.

You'll see that life is a ball again. Life is calling for you.

Yeah, so you really like the dress? Oh, it looks fabulous. It's so pretty.

Nice long hem, really pretty. You sure you girls don't want any of my cheese

omelet? No, Jack, none for me. On the stick with my juice and toast.

Well, maybe I will have just a little bite.

Yeah, I think I might just try a little midge in there.

How does it taste, girls?

Delicious.

Oh,

well, I'm glad the eggs weren't so rotten after all.

I'll get the paper.

Jack! Oh, and you know, the cheese looked kind of moldy, too.

Let's not get any ideas. We can't keep her. Why not? You know the rule. No pets

are out. Furley would throw us out. Oh, he's all talk.

Oh, yeah? Remember how he threw Mrs. Kalinsky out when he caught her with a

That was a boa constrictor.

This is just a tiny little kitten. Who could get mad at that?

Mr. Furley.

Yeah, Jack?

Hi,

Mr. Furley.

Hi.

Here, you better take your paper. before somebody grabs you. Here, we'll take

that, Mr.

Burleigh. Thanks a lot.

Was there a thumbnail?

No. Can't I just come up to shoot the breeze?

I just like to visit my tenants once in a while.

away from me. Well, it's so early in the morning, I really don't look my best.

I don't care how you look. Turn around.

Yeah, you're right. You don't look too good.

Well, it's just... Sorry,

I'm just a little jittery without that first cup of coffee in the morning. I

better go get it right now.

Not so fast.

Nothing gets past old Eagle Eye first. See, don't try to fool me.

You're putting on a little weight, aren't you?

Oh, darn, I was hoping you wouldn't notice. I guess I had too many regal

beers.

What was that?

Uh, that was, uh, Jack. He said that he's got to go now.

They want something.

They won't give you the time of day. All right, I'm going.

Meow.

Yes, meow.

Oh.

You got... What?

You're full of him, huh?

Yeah, but for how long? Old Eagle Eye is in and out of here all the time. You

know, we just can't keep her. Well, we can't just throw her out. Of course not.

We have to find her a home.

Where?

Where? Where?

I got it. Let's give her to Mr. Furley. Hold it.

Earth to Janet.

That's who we're hiding her from.

Jack, I know that. But you guys know Mr. Furley. I mean, down deep, he's nothing

but a big dusky when he gets a look at this eddy -beddy face. Yeah, Janet, the

rules. Oh, Jack, he's in charge. He can break the rules. Well, we can't give him

the kitten, or else he'll know that we know that he's breaking the rules.

Okay, okay, we won't just give her to him.

We'll leave her on his doorstep.

How are we going to get her to stay there?

Got any crazy glue?

What about a staple gun?

her best, don't you?

Okay, Kitty, when he opens the door, smile, but remember, whatever

he's wearing, try not to laugh, okay?

Yeah?

Darn kids.

It's a court!

How did you reach the doorbell?

What are you doing around here anyway?

Don't you know this is no pet territory?

I'm the head honcho around here, and that's one of my strictest rules.

Of course, if you want to hang around a while...

I guess I could make an exception.

But you better keep it quiet, okay?

What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

That's a joke.

You'll find I'm quite a kidder.

Oh, you're going to like it here.

Nice and quiet.

Not like those other apartments.

All the friends dropping in, laughing.

talking, carrying on.

They never get a minute's peace.

But hey, don't get me wrong.

There's plenty of excitement right here.

Do you like to watch television?

Let's see.

What kind of shows would be good for you?

I know.

Kitty shows.

Hey, you know something?

We're going to have to find a name for you.

I got it.

Panthers.

Patches.

When I was a kid, I had a cat named Patches.

You remind me of him.

Cutest little thing. He was my best friend.

And one day, while I was at school, he got out.

And this big truck came along.

I'm going to call you patches.

But you better never cross the street without my permission, okay?

Okay, I got to answer the phone. You wait right here.

Don't take anything now.

I wouldn't want to find out you're one of those cat burglars.

You're going to get quite a sense of humor hanging around me.

I thought I'd better take you with me.

Hello?

Bart!

My brother Bart. He owns the building.

Don't say anything.

Hello, Bart?

Yeah, everything's just fine.

Well, yeah, expenses have been running a little high, but... A troubleshooter?

Well, what do you mean he's on his way over here?

Well, Bart, I've been doing a good job, haven't I?

Hello?

Hello?

Damn!

Excuse me.

Now, what am I going to do with you?

Oh, if he finds you here...

Uh,

girl, keep your feet, okay? Don't move. I'll get the door, no problem.

I'm getting it right now, see?

Well, hi. Are you the Avon lady?

Oh, hi, I'm Jack.

Have you seen my kitty?

Uh, come in. Um, your kitty?

Are you looking for a kitty?

Uh -huh. I've been looking all over for her. Her name is Cuddle.

Her name is Cuddle.

That was your kitten?

Yes. Do you have her? Yes, we did. We did, but we don't. We will, though. All

right. Uh, look, why don't you go into the kitchen with Auntie Terry here and

have some yummy milk and cookies, okay?

And what will you and Auntie Janet be doing? We'll be thinking about paying a

visit to Uncle Furley.

See? Everything in that bathroom works.

Now that goes for the rest of the building.

They don't call me Mr. Fix -It for nothing.

If a faucet drips around here, I replace it. Pronto.

Why don't you just put in a new washer?

A washer?

Yes. You can keep replacing every little thing.

There go the profits.

But doesn't Bart want... He wants managers who keep expenses down, collect

rents, and make sure the tenants follow the rules.

Why do that?

Why keep my tenants in line?

One little infraction and they're out.

Good.

Just last week, we had a tenant in the marina. He broke a rule.

We threw him out.

Way to go.

Along with the manager.

Way to go.

Can I get a glass of water?

Well, I don't know.

I don't want that water bill to go through the roof.

It'll watch expenses.

Right through there.

Hey, Mr. Furley. Jack, is it important? I've got company. Well, it's about the

cat. Cat!

Cat!

There are no cats around here.

Mr. Furley, I saw you pick up a cat and take it in.

Oh, that cat.

Well, I took it straight to the pound.

What?

Well, you know the rules. No pets.

If there's one thing I do, it's enforce the rule.

Tenants, you just have to know how to handle them.

I thought you were too easy on them.

Janet, Terry.

Furley took it to the pound. He what?

Did you find my kitty?

Well, well... Janet, Janet, let me explain.

Oh, thanks, Jack.

Hey, Muffet.

Hi. Why don't you sit on my tuppet right here?

You know something?

There are certain things in life that don't go exactly... I want cuddles!

Second thought, maybe Aunt Terry knows what to say. Terry?

I do.

of milk and cookie.

Again?

Jack? Jack, what are you doing? We have to get her kitten back. That's what I'm

trying to do, Jen. I'm trying to figure out which pound Furley took the cat to.

I mean, how many pounds can there be in this area?

Three?

Well, that's one pound apiece for us, okay?

All right.

Jack, what are we going to do about Muffet?

I'm taking care of that right now. I'm going to have Larry babysit her. Oh,

on. Larry wouldn't be caught dead babysitting.

Hey, Lair, listen, pal, I need you to do me a favor this afternoon.

Oh, you're too busy to spend the afternoon with a real cute girl who

want to be alone?

He's bringing a bottle of champagne.

Cute girl.

Thanks.

Hey, you want some more milk and cookies?

No, thanks. I think I had enough.

So what do you want to do now?

Grow up.

You sound like my last date.

You date?

Yeah.

What's it like?

Dating? Well, I really don't think that I should... Oh, come on. I'm not

gonna...

what you do on a date.

Well, okay.

Let's see.

Well, first I go out to a place where I can meet girls. You know, like a church

social.

Then, if I see a young lady I like, I might take her out for a soda

And then... What kind of soda?

An ice cream soda.

And then... What kind of ice cream?

Chocolate. And then... Do you both have chocolate?

What difference does it make?

You gonna let me tell the story?

All right. Don't be such a grouch.

All right. And after the soda, I walk her home, we shake hands, and then we

goodnight.

That's it?

Yeah.

Do you always strike out like that?

Let's talk about something else, kid, okay?

Okay.

Where do babies come from?

Hi, I'm back.

Thank God.

Janet, watch out for her.

She's a lot older than she looks.

Lookie, lookie, lookie who I found. It's Cuddles, Cuddles, Cuddles.

Jack, that isn't Cuddles. This is Cuddles. No, it isn't. What do you mean,

it isn't?

Here's Cuddles.

What are you doing bringing him? Terry, what is that, a mongoose?

He's looking for an orange.

None of these cats is Cuddles. No, I'll never find him. How could you get a

Pinto? We're looking for a Cuddles.

Oh, look, girl, the strange man.

Hi, strange man.

Yes, this is Mr.

Williams, Bart's new troubleshooter.

How do you do?

He came over here to see what a good job I'm doing.

Oh, well, Mr. Furley just does a wonderful job. You know, he even got us

-new garbage disposal, and we didn't even really need one.

Is that so?

Oh, yes, he got us so many new things. Let me see, a new couch, a new curtain.

is I'm always fixing up the old stuff so it looks like new.

Like this oven here.

Boy, it used to take forever to get hot.

Watch it heat up. No!

We're very energy conscious here.

I'd like to see if you've even fixed the oven. Before you see the oven, though,

how about coming and seeing the new curtains? Okay, but I do want to see

oven. Sure, anytime. Let's see the curtains.

Oh, that was close. Yeah.

Come on out now, Kitty.

You've still got eight lives left.

Hide them in your bedroom, Terry. Okay. Come here. Come on, darlings. Come on.

Now, isn't that really great curtains? I mean, that's great fabric.

They are not. That's junk.

Look how easy it rips.

Mr. Furley.

I was just trying to make a point. Well, my goodness.

Jack, come here.

Uh, yes, Mr. Furley.

Tell Mr. Williams what cheap curtains are. as these are. No, no, no, no, no,

Furley said those are the best curtains money can buy.

And I suppose this is the new couch you mentioned.

Yes, it is, it is. It looks very expensive to me.

Don't!

It's gone!

It's gone.

The, uh, uh, uh, spare change.

Well, I didn't take it.

See what I have to put up with?

Sure I do.

But that's no excuse for these unauthorized expenses.

You're not going to look very good in my report to Bart. You know that.

Wait a minute.

Do you mean that you're going to get someone in trouble just because he's

the job too well?

As a matter of fact, yes.

Well, gee, that isn't fair. I mean, has generosity become a fault?

Something that we just, you know, throw out the window for monetary gain?

Well, it depends upon... Jack!

harsh with Mr. Furley here?

Well, you know, you just may have a point there, miss.

Sometimes I do get a little carried away.

All right, Furley.

You're a little too generous, but I'm sure you'll work on that, huh? I will. I

will.

Terry, I can't find the cat. Don't worry. I took care of it.

Let's go, Furley. You can walk me to my car. All right.

That's a cat.

It's his.

Come on, Jack. Don't play dumb.

You know the rules. No pets or else.

No exceptions.

Oh, there you are, Mr. Furley. Look, I can't watch your cat anymore. I got to

get to work.

Let's see.

Is your cat... No, it isn't his cat. It's Muffet.

Who?

Muffet. Well, now, who is Muffet? Well...

That's a child with more cats.

Yes, well, we got her these kittens to cheer her up when she lost Cuddles

But she doesn't need these anymore. Yeah, we'll take these right back to the

pound. We promise.

You're all in very big trouble.

I warned you kids.

You're even in bigger trouble.

Me? Yes.

You're all going to be out on the street if any of you lays a hand on these

cats. And just to make sure, they're coming with me.

Aren't you a sweet, cute little bundle of fur?

Nobody's taking you to the pound. No siree, don't you worry about it.

Daddy, you're going to have ding -ding at home, aren't you?

Remember,

if Bart hears a word of this, we'll all be out on the street.

But he won't, will he, my babies?

No, no. It's our secret, and we're going to keep it.

This belongs to you.

You take good care of her, you hear?

No, thanks. I thought about it. I'd rather have a goldfish.

They can't run away. Bye.

Bye, Muffet.

Well, gosh, guys.

What are we going to do with that kitten now?

I guess I could take it.

Oh, would you, Mr. Furley?

Well, somebody has to make the sacrifice.

But don't get the wrong idea now. I'm the only one in the building who's

to have pets.

Because I don't have to answer to nobody.

What?

Patsy, you say you want your dinner?

Okay.

No.

No, Mr. Furley.

You don't have to warm up her milk.

Yes, you're welcome, Mr. Furley. Goodbye.

Honestly, that is the third time the man has called in the last half hour. I

mean, he's like a new parent with a baby.

I think it's so sweet. Oh, not again. I'll get it this time, Janet. Thanks,

Jack. Look, girls, I'm off my rocker.

Hello?

What?

She won't let you get near her?

I don't know what to tell you.

Tell him just to sit her on his lap.

Janet says to sit her on your lap.

And then scratch her behind the ears.

Terry says to scratch her behind the ears. And then turn her over and rub her

stomach. She'll love that.

Terry says to turn her over and rub her stomach. She'll love that.

Right. I'll talk to you later. Bye.

He said thanks. He never tried that before.

Oh, Furley has got a lot to learn about cats.

Who said that was Furley? That was Larry. He's got a new girlfriend.

Three's company was videotaped in front of a studio audience.