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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,550 --> 00:00:07,690 It was boredom at first sight. 2 00:00:07,930 --> 00:00:11,170 You could hardly call him right. 3 00:00:11,590 --> 00:00:14,090 He is no one's Mr. 4 00:00:14,470 --> 00:00:17,770 Right. But what do I see in him? 5 00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:22,470 But then I'm not so ideal. 6 00:00:22,930 --> 00:00:29,650 I'm not gentle or genteel. So the question should be what does he... 7 00:00:48,371 --> 00:00:50,339 What's up with you? 8 00:00:50,340 --> 00:00:51,390 Morning, Terry. 9 00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:52,510 Oh. 10 00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,740 I'll do that. You sit down. 11 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,230 Thanks. 12 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,280 Must have been a good night. 13 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:01,410 Good night. 14 00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:04,660 Oi. On your toes. It's Ambrose. 15 00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:06,030 Morning, Mr. Ambrose. 16 00:01:06,820 --> 00:01:08,960 Where? It's all right. He's not in today. 17 00:01:09,091 --> 00:01:11,159 Late night. 18 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,460 Hmm. Brenda. 19 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,400 I thought we had to run it home. 20 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:16,890 Not from your place. 21 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,580 I was in my place, she was in Crewe. 22 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:22,860 Crewe? I was going to London. 23 00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:24,230 Changed her mind. 24 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:25,410 You are a mug. 25 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:26,850 I am a mug. 26 00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:30,510 Still. I suppose you should be glad she hasn't reached Watford. 27 00:01:33,220 --> 00:01:35,260 So you're not making any progress, then? 28 00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:37,200 What? You know. 29 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,340 Oh, impossible. 30 00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:41,860 We start off OK. 31 00:01:42,540 --> 00:01:44,040 Well, you know what she's like. 32 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,150 Compulsive messer. 33 00:01:45,420 --> 00:01:47,000 Never shuts up, never listens. 34 00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:50,420 Always taking the mick. Yeah, we have met. 35 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,820 Then by the end of the evening, that's just... I just want to go to bed. 36 00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:57,900 Well, that's progress, isn't it? 37 00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:00,510 Then what happens? 38 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:03,410 Malcolm? 39 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:06,130 Malcolm? 40 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,300 Five more minutes, Mum. 41 00:02:16,330 --> 00:02:17,380 What do you think? 42 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:19,210 Ludicrous. Yeah, it is better. 43 00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:22,340 You're late. 44 00:02:22,341 --> 00:02:25,989 Wolfie's been cracking the whistle. Oh, I could crack his head. He's just a big 45 00:02:25,990 --> 00:02:29,549 kid who wants to have his cake and eat it. Oh, I never thought of you as a 46 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,600 of cake. 47 00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:34,189 He's gone all prissy ever since I told him what he could do with his turnip 48 00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:36,410 wine. I don't want you to see me, though. 49 00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:41,289 But you will remember to put those personal letters I sent you in the paper 50 00:02:41,290 --> 00:02:45,180 shredder. Not the only thing of his I'd like to put in the shredder. 51 00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:46,720 Come on, that's Sydney. 52 00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:48,390 Smarmy slob. 53 00:02:48,780 --> 00:02:51,430 And have you not sent out those claim summaries yet? 54 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,970 You forget that after a bank holiday, everyone gets a bit behind. 55 00:02:55,060 --> 00:02:57,230 I suppose you've got more behind than most. 56 00:02:57,580 --> 00:03:00,020 I thought you were going to London. It was closed. 57 00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:03,550 Noah got dragged off the train by an admirer of a crew. 58 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:05,460 Pleaded with me to stay, he did. 59 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,820 Oh, aye. You got Muggins Malcolm to bring you back, did you? Yeah. 60 00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:10,110 And his sidecar. 61 00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:12,980 No, he rode the bike. You can't get two in a sidecar. 62 00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:18,910 The pluffy's still giving it hard time, you say? 63 00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:20,450 Oh, he's so petty. 64 00:03:20,810 --> 00:03:22,250 You're too good for him, true. 65 00:03:22,450 --> 00:03:25,280 He doesn't appreciate a good thing while he's having it. 66 00:03:26,870 --> 00:03:28,870 Just a bloody big kid, he is. 67 00:03:28,871 --> 00:03:30,349 Well, there's the answer. 68 00:03:30,350 --> 00:03:33,429 Tell him if he doesn't grow up, you'll put a teddy bear in the shredder. I 69 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:34,480 just do that. 70 00:03:35,230 --> 00:03:36,280 How's yours? 71 00:03:36,590 --> 00:03:38,330 That's the sleeper under me pillow. 72 00:03:39,270 --> 00:03:40,320 Malcolm. 73 00:03:40,549 --> 00:03:41,599 He's a drip as well. 74 00:03:41,870 --> 00:03:44,940 If he was any wetter, you'd have to follow him round with a mop. 75 00:03:45,470 --> 00:03:47,030 We should give them both the eve. 76 00:03:47,031 --> 00:03:48,129 You're right. 77 00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:51,649 There again, the next along might be way. Could be violence or rub your face 78 00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:52,849 when you weren't looking. 79 00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:53,900 But is he right? 80 00:03:54,450 --> 00:03:58,689 At least my honeythologist is well -meaning, kind to his mum, and always 81 00:03:58,690 --> 00:03:59,740 his armpits. 82 00:03:59,741 --> 00:04:01,009 That's nice. 83 00:04:01,010 --> 00:04:03,130 Yeah. I hate fellas who smell, don't you? 84 00:04:03,131 --> 00:04:06,409 Especially when you're going to be wrapped around them on the back of a 85 00:04:06,410 --> 00:04:07,770 Just like Nathan a bin bag. 86 00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:10,870 Which brings us back to Sydney. 87 00:04:10,871 --> 00:04:13,449 I think you're the saints that put up with them, nothing less. 88 00:04:13,450 --> 00:04:16,269 I just have this wonderfully kind and generous nature. 89 00:04:16,570 --> 00:04:17,710 And he takes advantage. 90 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:20,230 No, Pamela, you're the fool to yourself. 91 00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:22,410 She's a one -off, isn't she, Malcolm? 92 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:27,150 Once they made Pamela, they broke the mould. 93 00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:29,760 You're right there, Malcolm. Broke the mould. 94 00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:32,100 And with the pieces, they made three new ones. 95 00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:33,360 What did you say? 96 00:04:33,630 --> 00:04:34,680 What did she say? 97 00:04:34,681 --> 00:04:37,669 I didn't quite catch it. People watching, we could take one each if 98 00:04:37,670 --> 00:04:38,720 three new ones. 99 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,330 Same again, Mal? Oh, yes, please. I know. 100 00:04:41,331 --> 00:04:44,639 Oh, no, Tara, not for me. I'm going after this. Don't worry, I'll have this. 101 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:45,690 It's your shout. 102 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,400 You never have any new ones these days. 103 00:04:50,401 --> 00:04:51,959 Well, it's Mary. 104 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,010 Oh, we've done her. 105 00:04:53,011 --> 00:04:56,599 You've done her. And I'm afraid it's none out of ten for that one, Pamela. 106 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,079 better have another go. Have you been talking to her? That's against the 107 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,039 No choice. 108 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,819 I was in the laundress on Wednesday, and when it came to my turn for the dryer, 109 00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:08,130 she catches a ride for seven large stockings and a birdcage cover. 110 00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:10,020 Bevan Stockman. 111 00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:11,320 That's what it says. 112 00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,940 One for straining the chip fat. Oh, of course. 113 00:05:15,810 --> 00:05:18,250 And she's not from Southport. She's from Hale. 114 00:05:18,630 --> 00:05:20,110 Hale? Hale in Cheshire. 115 00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:22,150 Well, then we can call her Hale Mary. 116 00:05:23,630 --> 00:05:26,280 Well, that's another thing. She calls herself Frida. 117 00:05:26,330 --> 00:05:28,790 Oh, no, that's too much. She's wrong there. 118 00:05:29,150 --> 00:05:30,450 She's definitely a Mary. 119 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,330 Mind you, write about it, Pete. 120 00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:33,549 Not around. 121 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,720 She got him in a car boot sale in Mosley Hill. 122 00:05:36,810 --> 00:05:37,860 See you later. 123 00:05:39,660 --> 00:05:40,710 Oh, 124 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,410 put the change on the tower, Harold. Thank you. 125 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,260 Strange smell over there. 126 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,880 Yeah, we call it Cedric. 127 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,200 It's like stale cabbage water. 128 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,990 He works down the veg market and distills his own aftershave out the 129 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,170 Does he? 130 00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:03,410 I'll get you some if you like. It'll freshen up your sidecar. 131 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,620 No, I mean, does he work at the... Oh, you're making it up. 132 00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,370 Gosh, Mal, you've rumbled me. 133 00:06:09,971 --> 00:06:12,829 You've been people -watching. 134 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:13,789 Just a bit. 135 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:14,840 Do you want a turn? 136 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:18,189 Not the moment. I can't compete. I still feel a bit dozy. Well, if you will, 137 00:06:18,190 --> 00:06:22,169 spend your nights kidnapping innocent young girls from cosy railway stations. 138 00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:24,489 I don't know why I bother for all the thanks I get. 139 00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:26,090 Thanks. It's all right. 140 00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:29,250 So how did you survive the day? 141 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:33,090 Terry covered for me. He's all right, you know. What about you? 142 00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:35,790 I've got this trick. It's very clever, really. 143 00:06:36,170 --> 00:06:39,240 If I'm tired after a late night, I'll spend the next day in bed. 144 00:06:40,850 --> 00:06:42,110 It's all right, Mrs Storm. 145 00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:45,069 It's one of the little luxuries this government makes available for the likes 146 00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:45,929 me. 147 00:06:45,930 --> 00:06:48,760 I take it you and Pamela are OK again? Yeah, we're mended. 148 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:52,270 Actually, she's got other problems with hissing Sid. 149 00:06:52,670 --> 00:06:54,010 He doesn't appreciate her. 150 00:06:54,970 --> 00:06:56,020 Yeah, so you said. 151 00:06:56,190 --> 00:07:00,149 It does seem an unlikely relationship, though. They're so different, aren't 152 00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:01,590 they? You're not wrong, Malc. 153 00:07:01,591 --> 00:07:05,119 be something in the genes. This interests our family as in semi 154 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,170 wallies. 155 00:07:06,171 --> 00:07:11,459 Much, he can't be as rude as you or he'd have called it off years ago. 156 00:07:11,460 --> 00:07:12,840 Well, toot him, doesn't he? 157 00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:14,030 He's got it made. 158 00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:19,139 He's got a plastic wife and Labrador back home in Frodsham and his own 159 00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:20,600 snog -ography here in town. 160 00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:25,160 Brenda? Yes? 161 00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:31,480 Pamela and Sidney. 162 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,520 Do they, er... No, of course not. 163 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,020 What a thing to say. 164 00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:38,720 They're just very, very close friends. 165 00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:42,050 In its own way, it's quite a stable relationship. 166 00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:44,520 But they do, er, horse around. 167 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,760 Eh? Horse around. 168 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,080 Stable relationship. 169 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,380 Malcolm, what a dreadful joke. 170 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:54,850 Promise you'll never do that again. Sorry. 171 00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:57,250 No, it's just that he takes advantage of her. 172 00:07:57,460 --> 00:08:01,449 You know, she's good. Aunt Pamela, unlike lots of secretaries, she 173 00:08:01,450 --> 00:08:04,509 most of her time covering up his cock -ups for a tenth of his money. 174 00:08:04,510 --> 00:08:05,630 She deserves better. 175 00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:09,490 How long's she worked there? Since school. Have you got 10p? 176 00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:15,269 She started in the mail room back in the olden days before they decided you 177 00:08:15,270 --> 00:08:17,110 needed 2A levels to carry a postbag. 178 00:08:18,570 --> 00:08:20,860 And then she went to night school for a tycoon. 179 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,300 Hold on. 180 00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,390 It must be ten years nearly. 181 00:08:24,391 --> 00:08:27,829 So don't you think there should be a little party? 182 00:08:27,830 --> 00:08:28,880 Why not? 183 00:08:45,130 --> 00:08:48,050 They all smoke, too. I hate people who smoke, don't you? 184 00:08:48,051 --> 00:08:51,669 No, actually, I don't. Not as much as I hate people who rabbit on relentlessly 185 00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:56,529 and assume that their prattle is understandable to the people they're 186 00:08:56,530 --> 00:09:00,550 actually it's so confusing that the people just switch off or walk out. 187 00:09:00,551 --> 00:09:04,409 Well, I hope you don't mind me saying this. Well, you're a bit like that 188 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:05,460 yourself. 189 00:09:06,590 --> 00:09:07,640 Oh, my gosh. 190 00:09:08,190 --> 00:09:09,240 Now, where were we? 191 00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:11,290 Oh, yeah, you suggested a party. 192 00:09:11,490 --> 00:09:12,870 Oh, had I? That's a surprise. 193 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:19,370 Hold on a minute. 194 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:20,820 You're right again, Malc. 195 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:22,340 Did you organise the food? 196 00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:25,570 And we'll fix up the food between us. How are your fairy cakes? 197 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,700 God, Malc, I don't know how we do it. 198 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,390 When the time calls for a really crazy idea, we can always rely on you. 199 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,980 Hey, Malc, might as well come in line. 200 00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:56,949 Unfortunately, we are unable to proceed with your claim for damage to personal 201 00:09:56,950 --> 00:10:03,689 effects until all, underline all, boxes of the appropriate form CL stroke 202 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,770 214 have been completed. 203 00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:11,690 I would also point out that the case is not helped and may even be prejudiced. 204 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:16,539 by unflattering remarks relating to the response time of the local constabulary 205 00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:19,700 and the parenthood of particular officers. 206 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,500 Yours sincerely, Sidney J. 207 00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:24,870 Clough. 208 00:10:24,871 --> 00:10:28,879 Right, Miss Wilson, if you have that lot ready by four, I'll sign them then. 209 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,680 Oh, and, um, you have disposed of the you -know -what in the you -know -where. 210 00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:36,940 Now, listen here, Sidney. Ah, ah, ah, Mr Clough, when we're in the office. 211 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,779 Then regarding the matter of damage to personal effects... Any day now, Miss 212 00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:44,560 Wilson will place Mr Clough's you -know -what -he. 213 00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:50,500 Hello, claims, deputy assistant under manager's office. 214 00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:53,340 For you, a Mrs McDonald. 215 00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:55,550 Hello? 216 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:57,760 Yes, speaking. 217 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:00,910 No, 218 00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:05,560 no, not really. You see, strictly, the home contents policy doesn't cover pets. 219 00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:13,590 I see, and how precisely did he come to singe his trunk? 220 00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:20,330 Until the brigade arrived. 221 00:11:20,790 --> 00:11:23,290 Well, yes, you're right, it is a bit complicated. 222 00:11:24,110 --> 00:11:25,290 Yes, by all means. 223 00:11:26,170 --> 00:11:31,209 It's just that 1 .30 is a touch awkward as I usually go to... Oh, well, if 224 00:11:31,210 --> 00:11:32,610 that's the only time. 225 00:11:33,470 --> 00:11:34,520 No, no, no. 226 00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,730 No need to bring Henry with you. 227 00:12:03,699 --> 00:12:04,860 Hello? Who is it? 228 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:06,680 It's Mrs Macdonald. 229 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,640 Ah yes, come in Mrs Macdonald. 230 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,660 You. Hi, is this? 231 00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:12,879 What do you want? 232 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,260 I brought you some gas sheds. 233 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,600 Was that you on the phone? 234 00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:22,580 Yes, I had to leave Henry downstairs. 235 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,510 His lift doors closed a bit fast and I thought he might catch his ears. 236 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,130 Now listen. 237 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:32,019 You have no business in this building. I shall have strong words with your 238 00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:33,070 sister about this. 239 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,170 Sit down. 240 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,120 Don't speak to me like that. 241 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,320 Shut up. No, listen. 242 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:39,780 No, Sidney, you listen and keep it this. 243 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:43,540 One, I do have business in this office with you, in fact. 244 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,560 Two, you won't mention my little visitor, Pamela. 245 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:51,179 And three, if you don't keep quiet, I shall be forced to conduct this 246 00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:54,020 at 17 Ante Rhinum Close, Frodsham. 247 00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:55,630 Phone book. 248 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:57,650 What do you want? 249 00:12:57,690 --> 00:12:58,740 You to be nice. 250 00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:00,530 What are you talking about? 251 00:13:01,150 --> 00:13:05,429 Sidney, you are a mean, inconsiderate, conceited, thoughtless, two -timing 252 00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:09,409 fleabag. Now, look... Which, as you were about to point out, is none of my 253 00:13:09,410 --> 00:13:13,450 business. Only it is my sister you're taking advantage of, and I don't like 254 00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:14,690 So I want you to change. 255 00:13:14,990 --> 00:13:17,040 Not too much, or she won't recognise you. 256 00:13:17,310 --> 00:13:20,910 But what is needed is a spontaneous showing of your appreciation. 257 00:13:21,910 --> 00:13:24,080 I gave her those wine glasses at Christmas. 258 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:30,060 You gave her 24 coupons and told her which petrol station to pick her up at. 259 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:35,460 However, your next idea involves putting those glasses to good use. 260 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:36,930 Oh, does it? 261 00:13:36,931 --> 00:13:40,719 You've decided to throw a surprise party for your favourite stenographer next 262 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,780 Friday. Will you fix up the food, Brenda? Yes, of course I will, Sidney. 263 00:13:44,781 --> 00:13:48,399 I'll look after the liquid refreshment. Well, that's very good of you, Sidney. 264 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:53,359 And if you don't agree, the lovely Mrs MacDonald will feel compelled to make 265 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,410 a... 266 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,740 telephone call to Auntie Rhynam Close. 267 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,700 And if that's not enough, she'll get every upper here to sit on you. 268 00:14:36,069 --> 00:14:37,119 Terry? Yep? 269 00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:38,930 Can you make butterfly cakes? 270 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,180 Butterfly cakes? 271 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:45,889 I used to, when I was a kid. You sort of cut an upside -down cone out the 272 00:14:45,890 --> 00:14:48,829 centre, halve it, fill the middle with cream. Malcolm? Then you put the two 273 00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:52,449 wings in the cream, like wings, sort of. Malcolm, this is a joke, isn't it? 274 00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:54,490 One of your traditionally unfunny jokes. 275 00:14:54,990 --> 00:14:57,510 No. I just can't remember how you make the cream. 276 00:14:58,490 --> 00:14:59,540 Brenda. 277 00:14:59,570 --> 00:15:01,090 What? I smell Brenda. 278 00:15:01,091 --> 00:15:03,709 She's setting you up for something. Yeah. 279 00:15:03,710 --> 00:15:04,669 Well, I mean, no. 280 00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:08,509 See, there's a party for Pamela that we're not going to, Brenda and me. At 281 00:15:08,510 --> 00:15:11,129 we are going, but only till it gets going, cos then we're going, because her 282 00:15:11,130 --> 00:15:12,689 gang smoke, at least a lot of them do. 283 00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:15,809 And Brenda and me are in charge of food, see. Just stop there. I'll go back to 284 00:15:15,810 --> 00:15:17,980 the door, turn round and we'll start again. 285 00:15:18,610 --> 00:15:20,130 Next Friday, there's a party. 286 00:15:20,530 --> 00:15:22,880 And you've been told to make butterfly cakes? 287 00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:24,000 No, they're my idea. 288 00:15:24,830 --> 00:15:26,450 OK, confuse me some more. 289 00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:28,130 Pamela's birthday, is it? 290 00:15:28,131 --> 00:15:31,289 Anniversary. On Friday of this week, she'll have been in a present job nine 291 00:15:31,290 --> 00:15:32,939 years, seven months and two weeks. 292 00:15:32,940 --> 00:15:34,740 Obviously a course for celebration. 293 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,210 It's a surprise. 294 00:15:36,340 --> 00:15:37,540 Yeah, I'm sure it will be. 295 00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:42,359 See, if we'd waited until the ten years were up... Malcolm, please don't bother 296 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,199 to explain. 297 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,839 Anything involving those two is bound to mean somebody being taken for a ride. 298 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,120 My guess is that it's you. 299 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:53,710 Sidney. 300 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,680 Sidney. Oh, yeah. 301 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,620 Big Sid, the wrestling promoter. From where was it? 302 00:15:59,719 --> 00:16:03,449 Frodsham? Oh, that was just Brenda's little joke. Yeah, at my expense that 303 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,530 She made out it was some sort of Las Vegas. 304 00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:06,599 It's not, is it? 305 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,199 It's the sort of place they all turn out Saturday nights to watch the traffic 306 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,250 lights change. 307 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:12,620 That's quite nice, really. 308 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,520 I had an uncle who lived there once. 309 00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:15,950 He's dead now. 310 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,140 You mentioned Sydney. 311 00:16:18,141 --> 00:16:21,539 Oh, yeah, well, see, he's been giving Pamela a hard time. 312 00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:24,730 You know, taking advantage of her easy -going nature and... What? 313 00:16:24,731 --> 00:16:27,049 Well, he doesn't appreciate her. 314 00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:29,509 And Brenda's planning another little joke, is she? 315 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,170 No, well, not a joke as such. 316 00:16:31,171 --> 00:16:34,609 See, she's sort of persuaded him that he ought to be more considerate. The party 317 00:16:34,610 --> 00:16:35,609 will be his idea. 318 00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:36,609 What does she do? 319 00:16:36,610 --> 00:16:38,410 Leave an horse's head on his pillow? 320 00:16:39,270 --> 00:16:40,320 Pardon? 321 00:16:40,490 --> 00:16:42,490 Marlon Brando, the godfather. 322 00:16:43,150 --> 00:16:44,200 Oh, never mind. 323 00:16:45,110 --> 00:16:48,710 Look, I think you've got Brenda all wrong. She's not like that. 324 00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:50,930 Underneath, she's a very caring person. 325 00:16:51,150 --> 00:16:54,430 Just at times, she can't resist having a little fun. 326 00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:55,529 Oh, yeah? 327 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:59,349 Well, I believe that when someone works one on her and she joins in the giggles. 328 00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:00,400 Sure she would. 329 00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:02,070 She appreciates a good joke. 330 00:17:04,470 --> 00:17:08,270 Maybe I should put sour cream in the butterfly cake. 331 00:17:10,470 --> 00:17:11,520 No. 332 00:17:11,521 --> 00:17:13,769 There's got to be something better than that. 333 00:17:13,770 --> 00:17:14,820 Shaving cream. 334 00:17:15,329 --> 00:17:16,379 Oh, what a whiz. 335 00:17:17,921 --> 00:17:19,989 That's the lot. 336 00:17:19,990 --> 00:17:21,310 They'll be here any minute. 337 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:26,279 These other friends, there's nobody from the office, is there? No, Sidney, don't 338 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:27,039 you worry. 339 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:30,399 They're a carefully selected bunch of dipsomaniacs who wouldn't know you if 340 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,950 fell over you, which they probably will do in the course of the evening. 341 00:17:33,951 --> 00:17:38,879 At the moment, they're in training round at the grapes with instructions to be 342 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,080 here at seven precisely. 343 00:17:40,081 --> 00:17:42,319 Otherwise, we'll set Malcolm on to them. 344 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,120 These curtains look a bit odd. 345 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,530 Shut up. 346 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,180 Oh, hell, they're here. 347 00:17:47,380 --> 00:17:48,430 Kitchen. 348 00:18:02,301 --> 00:18:09,549 Of course I'm late. I had the misfortune of meeting this pillock as I came out 349 00:18:09,550 --> 00:18:10,710 the office. Hi. Hiya. 350 00:18:11,030 --> 00:18:12,470 Can I give you a lift, he says? 351 00:18:12,471 --> 00:18:14,949 Oh, that would be kind of you, Malk. I was just passing. 352 00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:16,000 Oh, yeah, great. 353 00:18:16,050 --> 00:18:19,870 What he didn't mention was that it was a 15 -minute walk to the multi -storey. 354 00:18:19,871 --> 00:18:23,629 And do you know which level he'd parked that Victorian boat shaker of his on? 355 00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:25,490 No. No, nor did he. 356 00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:31,270 We had to get out the lift on every stupid floor to look for it. 357 00:18:31,790 --> 00:18:32,840 Then he remembers. 358 00:18:33,450 --> 00:18:35,130 We were in the wrong multi -storey. 359 00:18:36,370 --> 00:18:38,730 We were in the wrong multi -storey. 360 00:18:38,731 --> 00:18:42,209 So then it's another half -mile walk, and then which level is it on? 361 00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:46,250 Top. It usually goes to the top. You like whizzing down the ramps, don't you, 362 00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:49,370 Mum? It's the only time he gets up a decent speed. Not this time. 363 00:18:50,070 --> 00:18:51,530 It was rush hour, wasn't it? 364 00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:55,120 20 minutes it took us to get out, and the fumes, God, it was awful. 365 00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:59,850 And that sidecar gets all deemed up. Oh, poor you, I can just imagine it. 366 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,840 Muffin -ready turkey in a microwave. 367 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,250 Thank you. 368 00:19:04,251 --> 00:19:07,139 And I'm sure we went round some of them floors twice. 369 00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,190 Could be. 370 00:19:08,191 --> 00:19:10,919 Navigation isn't exactly a strong point, is it, Mark? 371 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,799 I'm all right once I've got the map the right way up. 372 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,159 Oh, God, that was another thing embarrassing it was. 373 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,460 The line of traffic beeping away while he looks at his stupid map. 374 00:19:18,820 --> 00:19:20,810 I was always keen to find a new shortcut. 375 00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,150 In a car park. 376 00:19:22,151 --> 00:19:27,159 Then it's off on a magical mystery tour out through the festival site and 377 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,660 halfway to the bloody airport. 378 00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:30,920 The lovely one alongside the river. 379 00:19:31,180 --> 00:19:32,320 You don't mind, do you? 380 00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:35,430 I could have been home an hour ago if it wasn't for you. 381 00:19:35,431 --> 00:19:36,199 Oh, that's OK. 382 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,200 Oh, I must have smelt that sidecar. 383 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,340 Dead gerbils, isn't it? 384 00:19:40,341 --> 00:19:42,619 I'm taking a note. She's always saying that. 385 00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:45,639 Look, Pamela, why don't you go and freshen up? I'll have your tea out in 386 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,499 minutes and then we can go off to the grapes. 387 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:50,270 And he'll buy you a compensating pint of gin and orange. 388 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,850 Oh, who? 389 00:19:53,841 --> 00:19:55,749 Well done. 390 00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:56,950 Guess I'm just a natural. 391 00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:01,450 She seemed a bit hostile. 392 00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:04,620 Well, not another bit of debauchery won't cure. 393 00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:12,140 Great. 394 00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:16,300 OK, now, quiet. 395 00:20:17,130 --> 00:20:18,610 Is everybody right? Yeah. 396 00:21:02,350 --> 00:21:03,550 Did you try the parsnip? 397 00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:06,020 No, a whole pint of the turnip was enough for me. 398 00:21:06,021 --> 00:21:08,949 The rest of them are putting it away happily enough. 399 00:21:08,950 --> 00:21:09,649 That lot? 400 00:21:09,650 --> 00:21:12,529 They drink liquid age, actually, provided someone else was buying. 401 00:21:12,530 --> 00:21:13,349 What are you having? 402 00:21:13,350 --> 00:21:14,400 Vodka and lime. 403 00:21:14,401 --> 00:21:17,289 Vodka and lime and half a lager, please, Art. All right, sir. 404 00:21:17,290 --> 00:21:18,670 So, how was Pamela, really? 405 00:21:18,830 --> 00:21:22,490 Well, you saw her. She put a brave face on things, instead of the white one. 406 00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:26,989 I should think by now, Cluffy will be consoling her in the broom cupboard. 407 00:21:26,990 --> 00:21:28,210 What about 35, please? 408 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,000 Food didn't last long. 409 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:36,930 Well, as soon as someone mentions parties, that'll have to stop eating. 410 00:21:36,931 --> 00:21:40,659 You know the tall girl, Glenda? She nearly starved to death once when she 411 00:21:40,660 --> 00:21:41,980 three weeks' notice of a do. 412 00:21:41,981 --> 00:21:47,519 Cluffy bought plenty of booze, didn't he? Yeah, all homemade. 413 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,719 Actually, he stashed them away in the understairs cupboard to mature. 414 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,770 For future visits? 415 00:21:51,771 --> 00:21:55,639 Yeah. The locusts will probably find it about half nine, so hope it's matured by 416 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:56,690 then. 417 00:21:57,340 --> 00:21:58,700 Oh, I'm glad to be out of it. 418 00:22:02,570 --> 00:22:03,650 Have you ever smoked? 419 00:22:03,850 --> 00:22:05,170 Yeah, every two. 420 00:22:05,790 --> 00:22:07,110 But I gave it up when I was 12. 421 00:22:28,610 --> 00:22:31,750 I don't suppose you've ever smoked, have you, Mel? 422 00:22:32,010 --> 00:22:33,290 No, never. I've no vices. 423 00:22:33,490 --> 00:22:34,750 Well, there's still time. 424 00:22:36,370 --> 00:22:37,630 So what are we going to do? 425 00:22:38,110 --> 00:22:40,890 What about a bit of people watching? 426 00:22:41,210 --> 00:22:43,200 That's not a vice. It's not even naughty. 427 00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:44,870 I'm not so tired this time. 428 00:22:44,871 --> 00:22:46,169 I see. 429 00:22:46,170 --> 00:22:48,689 And you think you can compete in the big league, do you? 430 00:22:48,690 --> 00:22:49,729 Yeah, I reckon. 431 00:22:49,730 --> 00:22:51,410 What about that fella over there? 432 00:22:51,690 --> 00:22:52,740 Oh, nearly. 433 00:22:53,610 --> 00:22:54,970 OK, then. Who's first? 434 00:22:55,850 --> 00:22:57,550 I will, if you like. Let's see. 435 00:22:57,950 --> 00:22:59,000 Bit out of practice. 436 00:22:59,510 --> 00:23:01,110 I'd say Hungarian. 437 00:23:01,111 --> 00:23:05,069 Yeah. No, better still, Canadian, yeah. French -Canadian lumberjack with a 438 00:23:05,070 --> 00:23:05,649 wooden leg. 439 00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:06,689 Very good. 440 00:23:06,690 --> 00:23:10,049 Arby's are balancing everyday objects on his nose whilst playing the organ. 441 00:23:10,050 --> 00:23:13,660 I like it. He's certainly getting the hang of things now, Mo. Easy, really. 442 00:23:17,950 --> 00:23:20,130 Saw him come in, did you? No, honest. 443 00:23:21,090 --> 00:23:23,070 Sorry, Mace, don't change dollars here. 444 00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:24,620 What is this? 445 00:23:32,810 --> 00:23:34,310 We haven't got a music license. 446 00:23:35,410 --> 00:23:36,460 Who's the L .A., sir? 447 00:23:36,690 --> 00:23:40,269 Like I said, a French -Canadian lumberjack with a wooden leg who 448 00:23:40,270 --> 00:23:42,649 everyday objects on his nose whilst playing the organ. 449 00:23:42,650 --> 00:23:45,670 Hello. Any pair of funny I wish to buy from Firewood? 450 00:23:47,570 --> 00:23:48,620 Well, 451 00:23:48,621 --> 00:23:51,109 you've got to come second sometimes, Brenda. 452 00:23:51,110 --> 00:23:52,159 You're around, I think. 453 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:56,710 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35517

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