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1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:02,803
ADULT ADAM:
Ah, the last week of school.
2
00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:05,406
It's a truly magical feeling
of impending freedom
3
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:09,009
as the entire student body
unites in not giving a crap.
4
00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:11,079
Even the teachers
were checked out.
5
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:12,613
All right,
stop your stretching.
6
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,215
We're gonna watch
the movie Bloodsport.
7
00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:15,516
Not that I'm complaining,
8
00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,185
but isn't that, like,
wildly inappropriate
9
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:18,852
and has nothing to do
with gym class?
10
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:21,021
"Sports" are in the title.
Leave me alone.
11
00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:23,091
I got nothing left
to give you kids!
12
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,492
You did this to me!
13
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:25,793
ADULT ADAM:
But for all us eighth graders,
14
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,661
the last week of school
meant one thing.
15
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,463
All right,
boys and girls,
16
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,899
today begins
Freshman Fear Week.
17
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:33,000
(STUDENTS GASP)
18
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,303
This is when upperclassmen
19
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:38,172
hunt down terrified
incoming ninth graders
20
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,573
and throw them in the showers.
21
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,309
Did he say "hunt"?
Balls!
22
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,111
No! I made it
through middle school
23
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,012
without using
those showers!
24
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:47,515
ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,
school policy on cruel
hazing traditions...
25
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,383
(CHUCKLING) Oh, yeah.
...tended to be
a tad more lax.
26
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:50,884
I swear, one day,
they'll realize
27
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,020
this whole practice
is completely barbaric.
28
00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:55,223
You will never live
to see that day!
29
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,758
But you're my brother.
You're supposed to protect me.
30
00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:58,926
Opposite!
31
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,429
I've been training for this
my whole life.
32
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,298
Every headlock, noogie,
and wet willy
33
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:05,432
has led to this moment.
34
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:07,335
There has to be
a way out of this.
35
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,003
There is,
but it's not pretty.
36
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,039
Mama!
Barry's gonna hurt me!
37
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,141
I'm here, schmoo.
38
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,475
He's gonna hunt me down
39
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,176
and throw me into
the gross gym showers!
No!
40
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:17,378
Yes!
No!
41
00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:18,712
And then he's gonna
rip my shoes off
42
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,648
and make me touch the floor
without flip-flops!
43
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,983
You're not athletic enough
to get athlete's foot!
44
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,352
Help me!
I'm just a boy!
45
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,086
(GASPS)
I got you, baby.
46
00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:27,955
Oh, God!
No, I don't.
(THUD)
47
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,623
* I'm twisted up inside
48
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,993
* But nonetheless
I feel the need to say
49
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,198
* I don't know the future
50
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:41,101
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day *
51
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:43,070
ADULT ADAM:
It was June 2,
1980-something,
52
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,638
the end of the school year,
53
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,007
a moment that would live
in time forever.
54
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,509
Hey, guys.
55
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,644
Still looking for
contributions for the
time capsule.
56
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,846
So far, we've got
one Hall & Oates poster,
57
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,148
put in by me.
58
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:55,649
I'm gonna put in
a naked picture of myself
59
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:59,152
so I can look back and say,
"Yeah, Naked Rob had it."
60
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,788
I'm gonna put myself
in there.
61
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,790
Boom!
Livin' in the future.
62
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,193
Dude, it's a time capsule,
not a time machine.
63
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:06,594
Right?
64
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:07,928
You're funny
65
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:11,031
and have trouble
making eye contact with girls.
66
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,666
I like it.
67
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,935
All except for the haircut
and the posture,
but I can fix that.
68
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:16,770
Thanks, I think?
Hey, Erica!
69
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:17,971
Oh!
70
00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:19,540
You want to sign
my yearbook?
71
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:20,641
I saved you
precious real estate
right next to my face.
72
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:21,841
Fine.
73
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,177
Yeah, you know, if you need
some more time with it,
74
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:24,278
you could just
give it back to me.
75
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:25,946
Okay, you're done.
"Have a summer."
76
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,249
Did you mean, like,
"good summer" or...
77
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,818
Or "bitchin' summer" or...
Or "sexy summer"?
78
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:32,152
Just "summer."
79
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:35,989
Do you think she meant it
like "Have a summer"
80
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,491
or "Have a summer"?
81
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:39,293
Dude,
you got to let this go.
82
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,429
Yeah,
don't be such a Duckie.
Such a what?
83
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,664
Duckie, the twerpy,
lovesick best friend
84
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:45,266
who never gets
Molly Ringwald.
85
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:46,334
That's you, bro.
86
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,435
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Please!
87
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,668
If I'm anyone
from Pretty in Pink,
88
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,504
it's feather-haired bad boy
James Spader.
89
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:52,340
That is delusional.
Get to know yourself, bro.
90
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:56,176
Geoffrey, Andrew, Robert,
I need to speak to my child.
91
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:57,911
She's using
our proper first names.
92
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,413
Move it.
It's scary
'cause she said "Andrew."
93
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,048
What? I didn't even
do anything!
94
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:04,218
Adam says you're gonna haze
and humiliate him at school?
95
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:05,519
Oh, that.
Yeah, that's happening.
96
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:06,854
Like heck it is!
97
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,390
You lay one finger
on my baby...
98
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:12,260
You mean the pubescent monster
standing next to you?
99
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,862
Take a look at him, Ma.
He's all grown up now.
100
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:18,566
That is not
the, uh...
101
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,268
No, that's not...
102
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,338
Is this true?
103
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,540
No! Look at me!
104
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,175
Actually, don't.
105
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,778
Uh, close your eyes
and imagine me from last year.
106
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,446
Oh, my God! He's right.
107
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,348
My baby is going
to high school.
108
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,684
No! Stop reeling
at the passage of time!
109
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:37,751
Protect me!
110
00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:39,152
Your voice!
111
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,622
I'm just now hearing it
for the first time.
112
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:45,025
It's like the last gasp
of an old helium balloon.
113
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:46,527
(SOFTLY) No.
114
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:47,828
Oh, yes.
115
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:51,064
I just broke Mom's spirit,
so now I can shower you.
116
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,300
Get ready, bro.
117
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,834
Shhhhhh!
118
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,036
Why are you shushing me?
119
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,305
That's not a shush.
That's a shower sound.
120
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,641
What are you talking about?
This is a shower sound.
121
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:02,009
Kwwwwwwwhhhhh!
122
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,612
That's the ocean, bro.
A shower sounds like this.
123
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,679
Shhhhhh!
124
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,180
You're making a fool
out of yourself!
125
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,882
Listen to me. Listen.
126
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,451
Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh!
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
127
00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:12,286
Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh!
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
128
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,455
Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh!
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
129
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,291
(SNIFFING DEEPLY)
Oh.
130
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:18,692
Hi.
Hello.
131
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,629
Don't mind me.
I'm just having some Bev time.
132
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,297
(SNIFFS)
133
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,165
Do you mind closing the door,
please?
134
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:28,135
Mur? Your wife is sitting
in the broom closet,
135
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:29,737
sniffing a baby blanket.
136
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,772
That's her thing.
She sits in there
137
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,741
and sniffs them
to remind her of when
our children were babies
138
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:34,975
and not the worst.
139
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:36,209
And that doesn't bother you?
140
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,145
What do I know?
I'm just the husband.
141
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,147
(SIGHS)
Fine.
142
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:41,949
(SNIFFING DEEPLY)
143
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:43,884
(SIGHS)
144
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,553
That's good blankie.
145
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,656
Bevy, I know it's hard with
Adam going into high school,
146
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:52,225
but you can't hide here
in the closet forever.
147
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,094
(SIGHS)
You're right.
148
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:56,263
Just...
Just take this thing
149
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,831
and put it where
I can never find it.
150
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,767
It's time to let go.
151
00:04:59,832 --> 00:05:01,835
It doesn't appear
like you are.
I'm letting go.
152
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,337
I shouldn't have to struggle
like this.
153
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,405
Set me free.
154
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:05,673
Al! Will you help me?
155
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,307
She's got
superhuman strength!
156
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:09,643
Take it!
I'm handing it over.
157
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,079
She's got the forearms
of a tennis pro.
158
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,180
Take the blankie.
159
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:14,515
Put your back into it.
160
00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,249
Cure me of my sickness.
161
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,151
ADULT ADAM:
As my mom was losing
her safety blanket,
162
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:20,120
my friends and I
were living in danger.
163
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,655
Are you okay, Taz?
164
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,891
No, man!
I'm so wet, I'm so cold.
165
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:25,593
They didn't even give me
a towel.
166
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,994
If they can throw Taz Money
in the showers,
167
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,562
there's no hope for us!
168
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,664
We just have to come up with
a plan before the bell rings.
169
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:31,932
It's too late!
170
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,534
Shhh! Shhh!
171
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:34,868
DAVE KIM: Why is he
shushing us?
172
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,938
No matter what happens,
we go down together.
173
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,039
For sure.
174
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,107
(BELL RINGS)
No!
175
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,341
Take him,
not me!
176
00:05:41,409 --> 00:05:42,710
ADULT ADAM: It was
every man for himself.
177
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:44,311
We tried to escape,
178
00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,313
but that day, we faced
the greatest shower ambush
179
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,715
the eighth grade
had ever seen!
180
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,683
DAVE KIM: No!
Wait! No showers!
181
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,520
My turtlenecks shrink
when they get wet!
182
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,624
Those next 10 seconds
lasted an eternity
183
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,325
as my friends were picked off
one by one.
184
00:05:58,392 --> 00:05:59,693
TAZ: No!
185
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,595
They even got
Taz Money, again!
186
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:02,763
No!
187
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,031
Next thing I knew,
188
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,700
I was facing off
against my destiny.
189
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,269
Maybe it was panic.
Maybe it was nerd rage.
190
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:12,640
Maybe it was the fact
that my brother had been
kicking my butt my whole life.
191
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,041
(SCREAMING)
But right then,
192
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,776
I said, "No more."
193
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,549
(THUD)
194
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,216
What the (BLEEP)
195
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:28,689
Nice one, Goldfarb.
Walk it off, Goldberg.
196
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:31,224
Ow. Ah...
197
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,693
(WHIMPERS)
198
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,096
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
199
00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:43,370
What did I just do?
200
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:45,739
You just became hot,
freshman.
201
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,775
That was badass.
202
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,909
ADULT ADAM:
In that one moment,
I had done the impossible!
203
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,745
I became awesome!
204
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:54,515
Meanwhile, the school time
capsule was a complete dud.
205
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:57,451
Seriously? This is why
I had a sign-up sheet!
206
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:58,852
Why do I even bother?
207
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,954
GEOFF:
New Kids on the B., huh?
208
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,691
You know, my nana says
that I look like handsome
renegade Donnie Wahlberg.
209
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,860
Oh, your Nana is
so sweet, but wrong.
210
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,398
If you're any Donnie,
you're Donny Osmond.
211
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:13,667
Clean and non-threatening.
212
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,202
I dig that.
213
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,170
Thanks?
214
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,239
ADULT ADAM:
While our resident Duckie
was still looking for love,
215
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:22,242
my mom was on a desperate hunt
for a blankie.
216
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:24,344
What is this?
217
00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:25,779
You look insane.
218
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,181
You haven't by chance seen
a baby blanket,
219
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,751
uh, blue, soft,
precious beyond measure,
220
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,152
you know,
a standard blankie?
221
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:33,420
You mean
that gross, blue rag
222
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,288
that smells like chickenpox
and nightmare sweat?
223
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:37,658
You shut your face-mouth!
But, yes, that's the one.
224
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:39,960
Okay, don't freak out,
225
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,162
but I took it.
226
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,897
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
227
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,766
I wrapped it around
a New Kids plate
228
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,334
and put it
in a time capsule.
229
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,636
No! No, no, no, no, no!
230
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,638
That blankie is
the only thing I have
231
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,706
to remember
my favorite baby!
232
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,407
First of all, ouch.
233
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,376
But I think
this is a good thing.
234
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:59,446
Your closet time is...
How do I put it?
235
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,649
Sad and creepy.
236
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,450
This will force you
to go cold turkey.
237
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:06,319
Or I just dig it up
first thing in the morning!
No.
238
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,420
Yes.
No way.
239
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,089
All people will remember
all summer
240
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,625
is my crazy mom digging up
the school's front lawn.
241
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,927
Good idea.
You be my lookout.
242
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,963
Don't even put that thought
in your mind.
243
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,365
Too late.
Look in my eyes, Erica.
244
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,300
It's locked in.
245
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,902
Come on, I need you.
246
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:25,372
If you do this,
I promise, next year,
247
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:28,141
I will not go storming
down to the school.
248
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,143
Seriously?
My whole senior year
249
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,280
without my crazy mom
roaming the hallways
like a blond ghost?
250
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,347
That's what I'm promising.
251
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:35,849
We dig during first period,
252
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:37,751
while everyone is
still half asleep in class.
253
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:38,852
Understand?
254
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,419
You have my word, boop.
255
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:42,823
You will not humiliate me
more than normal.
256
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:46,093
* We're gonna dig
to get the blankie
257
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:47,795
Okay, that's...
That's enough.
258
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,131
* And I'm gonna sniff it
'cause it's so snuggly *
259
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,966
You have
a serious problem.
260
00:08:55,268 --> 00:08:57,204
ADULT ADAM: There were only
two days left until summer,
261
00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,207
and that meant one thing,
nobody cared.
262
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,476
Okay, your calculus teacher
called in sick.
263
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,012
Wish I'd have thought of it.
264
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,380
So we're gonna watch
a math-based movie,
265
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,316
Cannonball Run II.
266
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,550
How is that a math movie?
267
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:13,553
"II." It's got a number
in it, math.
268
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,088
BEVERLY:
Psst. Snuggy.
269
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,524
(SIGHING) Oh.
270
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,559
Mr. Coach Mellor,
can I go to the bathroom?
271
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,731
(WHISPERING) Hey,
272
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,766
why are you going to
the bathroom with a shovel?
273
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,400
Oh, is this a lady thing?
274
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,403
No. I got to dig up
the stupid time capsule.
275
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:31,672
Oh, no.
276
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,140
I'm boned.
277
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,442
I stashed a tape
professing my love to Erica
in that time capsule
278
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,010
so that our kids could hear it
30 years from now.
279
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,311
Nice move, Duckie.
280
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,080
I'm not Duckie!
It's romantic.
281
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,615
I even serenade her
with the power ballad
282
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,016
Heat of the Moment
by Asia.
283
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,517
It's classic Duckie, bro.
Yeah.
284
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,353
Aw, you're right!
I got to get that tape back.
285
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,357
(BOTH GRUNTING)
286
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,992
How are you so good
at this?
287
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,061
Jazzercise
builds upper-body strength.
288
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,829
Stop!
You can't dig that up!
289
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,731
You stop! We have one minute
till the bell rings,
290
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:58,999
and then
everyone will see us.
291
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,868
Ooh! There!
I see shiny metal.
292
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,569
We're one scoop away.
Wait, wait, wait!
293
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:03,904
I'll help
so I can open it first!
294
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,339
Uh, aah!
(CLANG)
295
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,008
Oh! Oh!
(SCREAMING)
296
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,242
D... Don't worry!
297
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,811
I'll... I'll plug it
with my body!
298
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,146
(SCREAMING)
299
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,214
Erica, save me!
300
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,348
Geoff!
301
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,984
My tummy's drowning!
302
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,251
Oh, my God!
303
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,720
BALL:
Beverly Goldberg.
304
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,222
My office, now!
305
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,124
May I ask
what this is regarding?
306
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,926
(GEOFF SCREAMING)
307
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,762
ADULT ADAM: As my mom
and sister were flooding
the front of the school,
308
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:32,532
Barry was drowning
in embarrassment
from my epic body slam.
309
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,067
Hey, man,
how's your back?
310
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,602
A little sore,
but I'm on the mend.
311
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:36,970
Thanks for asking.
312
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,906
That wasn't concern.
That was ridicule.
313
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,274
Ha! You got flipped on
your ass like a turtle.
314
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,609
(LAUGHS)
315
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:45,846
JTP, I need your counsel
immediately.
316
00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:48,481
Um, is it cool
if we talk after school,
317
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,217
or later this summer?
318
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,551
Yeah, the thing is,
319
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:53,687
you got body-slammed
by a middle schooler,
320
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,789
which makes you
lower than a freshman now,
321
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,657
so we have to
keep our distance.
322
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:58,826
You get it.
323
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,628
You guys can't blow me off.
I'm your leader. JTP!
324
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:06,633
What the hell?
325
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,869
You're supposed to
automatically repeat "JTP."
326
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,971
Has the entire school
turned on me?
327
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,139
We need to talk.
328
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,473
Oh, God,
you're breaking up with me.
329
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,408
No, of course not.
Yet.
330
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,477
We just need to undo
what happened.
Right. Easy.
331
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:19,212
So, just lure Adam
into a public space
332
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,214
and dispense a swift beatdown
for all to see.
333
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,016
Done.
Quick question.
334
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,752
Is there anything else
I can do
335
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,920
that doesn't require me
going near him?
Why?
336
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,890
I'm, like...
How would you put it?
337
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,125
Very afraid of him.
338
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,527
Adam, your nerdy brother,
339
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,496
who dives for cover
when someone pops a balloon?
340
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,798
Correct.
341
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,067
This is a lot.
342
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,035
ADULT ADAM:
As Barry was facing
his cold, dark future,
343
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,204
my sister was feeling
the heat.
344
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,006
Congrats. Your little stunt
345
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,876
broke the water line
leading to the locker room.
346
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:52,579
You ruined
both Freshman Fear Week
347
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,081
and a timeless tradition
348
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,549
started by the great
William Penn himself,
349
00:11:56,616 --> 00:12:00,487
who, after he founded
this institution in 1689,
350
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,090
immediately threw a freshman
into the showers!
351
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,092
(CLEARS THROAT)
352
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:08,361
Oh, yeah, and, uh,
there are some people
353
00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,431
who are also very upset
about their pet project.
354
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,766
Yes, I am upset.
355
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,435
Everything in the time capsule
was completely ruined.
356
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:16,536
Yes!
357
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,138
Oh, everything except
this one thing.
358
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,439
No!
359
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,174
We should throw that away
just to be fair.
360
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,143
Oh, I think this is for you.
361
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:26,880
"For future wife
Erica Schwartz.
Love, your future hubby"?
362
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,048
Really, dude?
363
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,449
Aww.
Awkward.
364
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,885
Geoff, for the millionth time,
I don't like you that way,
365
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:34,788
not now, not in the future,
not ever.
366
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,124
So I really am the Duckie.
367
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,359
The dork from
Pretty in Pink?
368
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:42,963
Yes, that's a great example.
That's exactly who you are.
369
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,697
I think Duckie's cute.
370
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,033
Thanks.
371
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,768
Okay, this conversation's
gotten away from me.
372
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:50,303
Let's just wrap it up.
373
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,572
Both of you
are suspended for the day.
374
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,874
Called your parents.
375
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,242
They're on their way
to pick you up.
376
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,010
Message received.
Come on, schmoo.
377
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,279
Buh-buh-buh-bip!
I called your husband.
378
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,849
I'm suspending you
from parenting for the day.
379
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,584
Nice try, but
Murray won't care
unless money's involved.
380
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,253
Here's the bill.
381
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:11,959
Are you kidding me?
600 bucks for a broken pipe?
382
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:15,762
Well, the headline here is,
I saved Blankie.
383
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,330
(CHUCKLES)
384
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,532
Sure,
it's lost its Adam smell,
but I'll just recharge it.
385
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:20,968
You can't recharge
a blanket.
386
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,469
Ho-ho! You bet I can!
387
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,604
I'll just sneak it
into his pillowcase
388
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,739
or mix it in his hamper
like a stew.
389
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,608
Don't do that.
Don't make a hamper stew.
390
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:32,179
I just...
I need the blanket.
391
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,181
Once they grow up,
it's all I'll have.
392
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,716
Look, I know how hard
this is for you.
393
00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:37,851
I do.
394
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,786
They're more than my world,
Murray.
395
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,154
They're my life.
396
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,623
If I'm not Mama,
what am I?
397
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,359
Well, that's up to you.
398
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,962
ADULT ADAM:
While my mom had to figure out
her place in the world,
399
00:13:49,029 --> 00:13:51,298
I was loving my new life
as a cool kid.
400
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,433
ADAM:
* Gummi Bears
401
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,369
* Bouncing here and there
and everywhere
402
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:59,639
* High adventure
that's beyond compare
403
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:02,509
* They are the Gummi Bears
404
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,277
Look at him
sitting there, Pops,
405
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,613
acting like
a badass street punk.
406
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,048
Adam?
Correct.
407
00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,250
With the cartoons
and the gelatin candies?
408
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:13,020
He thinks he's bad?
Well, I'll show him who's bad.
409
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,554
I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
410
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:15,923
Why not?
411
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,690
'Cause I'm enjoying
my leisure time.
412
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,427
If I stand up,
you're gonna regret it.
413
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,728
I can't live this way!
414
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:24,097
You ruined my life
by fighting back and winning!
415
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,832
Hey, I needed a win!
416
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:28,936
Do you realize how crappy
this year has been for me?
417
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,470
I lost my girlfriend,
418
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,672
puberty was not kind
to my body,
419
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,574
and I got pantsed
on the pull-up bar,
420
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:36,009
undies and all!
421
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,445
And then you tried to kick me
when I was down!
422
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,780
No!
I was trying to help you!
423
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,149
By throwing me
in the showers?
424
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,450
Yes, idiot!
425
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,953
Only the cool kids get hazed
during Fear Week.
426
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,555
When I was your age,
no one picked on me,
and it sucked!
427
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,390
I didn't want it to suck
for you, too!
428
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,526
I didn't know that.
429
00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:56,563
Well, looks like next year
is gonna be awesome,
430
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,199
for you, anyway.
431
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:06,606
ADULT ADAM:
It had been a day
432
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,108
since I robbed Barry
of his pride and dignity.
433
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:10,177
He was not taking it well.
434
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,912
Goodbye, nunchucks.
I will need you no more.
435
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:15,048
Find a master
who's not a wussbag.
436
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,685
Arigato, samurai sword.
437
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,421
This is not a place of honor.
It's a place of shame.
438
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:23,856
What did you
do to the boy?
439
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,959
He's trying to murder
that garbage can.
440
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,627
ADAM:
This isn't my fault.
441
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:30,430
Did Barry seriously think
I'd be a nerdy little
brother forever?
442
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:31,598
Actually, yes.
443
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,034
Look at me.
I'm getting older and bigger.
444
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,302
Things change.
445
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,769
Well, no matter
how big you get,
446
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:39,106
you're always gonna be
Barry's little brother,
447
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,873
and that means a lot
to him.
448
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,309
He sure
doesn't act like it.
449
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,145
Trust me, he loves being
your big brother.
450
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,447
It's a huge part
of who he is,
451
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:51,218
and without that,
he's just not the same.
452
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,621
Hey, Big Tasty,
we need to talk.
453
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:55,755
Whatever!
Just stay away!
454
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:56,956
Not that I'm scared
of you,
455
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:58,425
but, please,
don't put hands on me.
456
00:15:58,491 --> 00:15:59,993
Come on, dude,
457
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,395
we both know the only reason
I could body-slam you
458
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,530
was the summer solstice.
459
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:04,631
Summer what?
460
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,566
You know,
the one day a year
461
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,335
when the moon
is closest to the earth,
462
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:09,769
which means
there's less gravity?
463
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,504
There is?
Yes.
464
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:14,307
That's how a nerd like me
suddenly had super strength.
465
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:15,575
It's science.
466
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,977
Science, you say?
Like the kind with scientists?
467
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,879
Oh, sure!
468
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:22,015
With white lab coats
and clipboards
and safety goggles.
469
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:23,883
Beakers?
Tons of beakers, yeah.
470
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,385
They hold them up the light
and nod?
471
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,954
How else would they see
the chemicals?
472
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:30,623
I knew there was no way
that happened for real!
473
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:31,824
(CHUCKLES)
474
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,461
So the balance of power
has been restored.
475
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:35,795
You can be you again.
476
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,330
It's not that easy!
477
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:40,033
The whole school
witnessed this
once-in-a-lifetime moment.
478
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,134
It can't be undone.
479
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,170
Actually,
I think it can.
480
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,910
Okay! Not that
complicated, people.
481
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:52,812
I call your name,
482
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,814
and then you go up
and get the piece of paper.
483
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:57,817
But no showboating,
no speeches,
484
00:16:57,884 --> 00:16:59,386
and no doing the worm,
Dave Kim.
485
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,753
I am onto you.
486
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,389
This is America, man.
487
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,124
BARRY: Mic check,
one, two. One, two.
488
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,592
Mic check, one, two.
489
00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:07,026
Checkity-check-check.
490
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,529
Stop checking and just talk
before we get busted!
491
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,731
Attention,
William Penn Academy!
492
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,266
Prepare to bear witness
493
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,336
to the most epic
Fear Week Prank of all time.
494
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:19,606
Eighth graders,
welcome to high school.
495
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:20,906
Go kick some ass.
496
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:22,375
I'm back, baby.
497
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:25,978
ADULT ADAM: That day,
498
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,847
I helped my brother
repair his damaged rep
499
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:28,981
in one fell swoop.
500
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,618
No! This is my
graduation turtleneck!
501
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,653
* One thing I said
that I would never do
(BELL RINGS)
502
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,754
Just like that, all memories
503
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:35,788
of my brother getting
body-slammed
504
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:38,125
were completely washed away.
505
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:41,294
I'm not a freshman!
I'm the principal, damn it!
506
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,164
It's not funny
when it happens to you!
507
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,333
Dude, Goldberg just showered
the whole eighth grade!
508
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,801
(LAUGHING) No way!
Legendary!
509
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,170
Classic Tasty!
510
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:51,504
ADULT ADAM:
Growing up, we all have
511
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,740
those magical moments
etched in stone.
512
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,476
For Barry Norman Goldberg,
his moment was now.
513
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,811
Middle school's over,
losers!
514
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:02,249
Oh, my God, he's right!
Middle school's over!
515
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,452
* And we would scream
together songs unsung
(CHEERING)
516
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,687
I think next year's gonna be
pretty damn awesome.
517
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,822
I'm happy for you.
For both of us.
518
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,624
I'll make sure of it.
519
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,593
But until then...
520
00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:14,761
Wait. What are you...
521
00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,028
* The heat of the moment
522
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,697
(LAUGHING)
Yeah!
523
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:18,931
JTP!
524
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,933
ALL: JTP!
525
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,035
* And now you find
yourself in '82
526
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,372
BALL: I want all of you
to go back to class!
527
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,939
All of you!
528
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:28,675
Let it happen, Earl.
529
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,843
This prank
deserves our respect.
530
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,312
Let it happen.
531
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,214
ADULT ADAM:
Turns out, Freshman Fear Week
532
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,915
was one of the best
weeks of my life.
533
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,218
We not only survived
the rite of passage,
534
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,920
we soared right through it.
535
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:45,192
GEOFF: (SINGING OFF-KEY)
'Cause it's the heat
of the moment
536
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:47,894
* Heat of the moment
537
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,462
Guys, you've got to
hear this tape
538
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:50,830
that Geoff Schwartz
made me.
539
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,433
He, like, rambles on
about how special I am.
540
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,202
Such a dork.
541
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,803
Enough.
What?
542
00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:58,505
All year, you've been saying
you don't like the guy.
543
00:18:58,571 --> 00:18:59,639
That's 'cause I don't.
544
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,208
(SCOFFS)
What?
545
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:06,346
But I don't.
I don't like Geoff Schwartz.
546
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:07,880
ADULT ADAM:
It's crazy how sometimes
547
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,949
your life can
change in a flash
548
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:12,285
and all the things you were
blind to or refuse to admit
549
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:15,087
are suddenly staring you
right in the face.
550
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,157
Damn it, I like
stupid Geoff Schwartz.
551
00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:21,694
And just like that, everything
suddenly falls into place...
552
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,663
Uh, Geoff, can we t...
553
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,698
Come on, sweetie,
we got to get to Blockbuster.
554
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,700
...even if it's not the way
you thought it would.
555
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,269
Hey, do you need something?
556
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,871
It's... Nothing.
557
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:35,442
* The heat of the moment
showed in your eyes
Uh, have a great summer.
558
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,143
Yeah, have a summer.
559
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,178
ADULT ADAM:
Yeah, growing up is tough...
560
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:41,248
but no matter
how hard it gets,
561
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,216
you can always
look forward to the future.
562
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:44,584
* Heat of the moment
How do I look?
563
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,052
Like my big boy.
(CHUCKLES)
564
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:48,755
* Heat of the moment
showed in your eyes *
565
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,723
My big man.
566
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,025
For me, I didn't know
what life would bring.
567
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,661
And, sure, that was scary.
568
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,029
But for the first time,
I wasn't so afraid.
569
00:19:57,096 --> 00:20:02,635
Congratulations, graduating
middle-school class of 198...
570
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,237
(FEEDBACK SQUEALS,
CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
571
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,672
It was the end of an era...
572
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:06,873
You're the cutest!
573
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,775
...and the start
of a brand-new one...
574
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,943
Oh, just look at him.
575
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,212
We are gonna have
so much fun in high school.
576
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,947
"We"?
You know, you were right.
577
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,784
I do need a life
outside the house,
578
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:20,753
and that is why I'm gonna get
my teaching certificate.
579
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,522
What have you done,
Murray?
580
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,257
ADULT ADAM:
...in more ways than one.
581
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,758
Oh, and I want this
to be a surprise,
582
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,394
so don't tell the kids, okay?
583
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,162
Don't worry, we'll let you
deliver that message.
584
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,499
That's the thing about
our greatest memories.
585
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,133
Sure, we don't always remember
586
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,636
exactly who was there
or how it happened.
587
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:39,906
All I remember was the blur
of 1980-something,
588
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:43,009
and it was awesome.
589
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,512
Luck Tin Tin, save me!
Luck Tin Tin, save me!
590
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,780
Luck Tin Tin,
attack!
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
591
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,549
(INDISTINCT YELLING)
592
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:58,425
(CHEERS AND LAUGHTER)
593
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,495
Okay, as you know,
594
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,997
you've been mocking
my changing voice
for this entire year.
595
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,666
But now that I'm going
to high school,
596
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:10,036
it's time for you to get out
all your insults here and now
597
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,472
so we can bring this hurtful
chapter to a close.
598
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:14,206
You sound like
a harmonica in a dryer.
599
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,775
You sound like the child
of Louis Armstrong
600
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,143
and Harvey Fierstein.
601
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,779
You sound like the Tin Man
before he was oiled.
602
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,948
You sound like a witch
gave a frog a voice.
603
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,751
Stop it!
His voice is perfect.
604
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:27,554
He sounds like
a beautiful angel...
605
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,656
...with an undescended
testicle. (CHUCKLES)
606
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:30,990
I regret this.
44409
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