Original subtitles

So, Addie, what do you think?

Mmm, the strawberry smoothie is delicious.

You, uh, you got a smoothie stash. Oh. Hey, don't worry about it.

I got it.

Mom in the room!

Wow, hey.

Oh, hey, look at the time. You're going to be late for your show.

Oh, thank you for your concern, but my show isn't for another 30 minutes, and I

have a 30 -second commute.

Could be traffic in the elevator. You know how I would always bottleneck at

18th floor.

Nice try, but you know the rule.

Don't blow my nose in the dish towel?

No, no, the other rule.

No, the one that you can't have a girl here unless there's a grown -up in here.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Thanks. I had a great time.

I did, too.

It's just fabulous. Are you trying to ruin my life?

It's my job.

Hey, Cody, I thought you had a date. Oh, I did. But Barbara's Mollet Club is

looking for snail slime tomorrow, and you've got to get up early for that.

My girlfriend's a model.

You're dating a model?

It may look like I don't get it, but trust me, I got it.

Hard to argue with that.

and I'll walk you down.

So how'd it go with Abby?

Lousy. I mean, I never get time alone with her.

Dating at 14 stinks.

I'm not a kid anymore.

I'm a man. A mature adult.

Hey, guys!

Daddy!

I don't remember having you.

I'm Mark. My dad's on a business trip for three months.

In that case, go ahead.

my village. He's the hot dog man.

Oh, that's very nice. Oh!

And a hugger.

Esteban, I have great news.

There has been a peaceful change of government in our country, and your

is back in power.

You mean my grandfather, Geraldo Juan Carlos Diego, Pepe, Bobby Verón, Lupe,

Alberto, Esteban, Julio, Ricardo, Montoya, De Rosa, Ramirez, has taken the

throne again?

No, the other one. Oh, you mean Fred? Sí. Oh! And sitting by his side is his

faithful queen.

Candy!

Bank accounts have been unfrozen. You are rich.

Rich enough to buy my pet chicken dully a new coop? A solid gold coop with a

doorman. Oh, that's rich.

Oh, joy, oh, joy.

Now,

Esteban, I'm

happy for you.

What is the first thing you're going to do? Oh, I'm going to buy a hot dog with

everything on it.

Everything?

Why not?

I am rich now, no?

Si. Is that all you want, a hot dog?

No.

I want you to take these bags. Why?

Because I quit.

So, the producer of this rock musical

calls me and offers me the leading role in Loza, King of the Vikings.

It's a great show. In the second act, we invade the audience.

Are there health benefits?

I think so, yeah.

Kurt, I'm so happy for you.

Thanks. Oh, and I just got an apartment. It's a couple blocks away, and it has

two bedrooms.

Then we can sleep over.

Yeah.

Oh, well, that is if it's okay with your mom. Yeah.

Sure, he's incompetent. You can barely understand a word he says.

His best friend's a chicken.

Where was I?

Look, I didn't fire him. He quit.

My family's back in power. I am wealthy beyond my wildest dreams.

Me too.

Isn't it great?

So far, it's been a good day.

The first thing you should do is go shopping.

What are you going to buy first? A limo, a helicopter, or a yacht?

The best thing for Esteban to do is to keep that money in the bank. Save it for

a rainy day.

That is a good point.

helicopter to someplace dry.

Ooh, that is a good point, too.

I'm going to go to my apartment and think about this.

You can't stay at that ratty little place.

How did you know I have a ratty little place?

Well, compared to me, everyone has a ratty little place.

Idea. You should move into the Tipton. Oh, now, Esteban, that would be very

expensive. Oh, really?

How much would it be if I... Rich people never act how much. All right.

I'll take a nice room.

With a view.

Well done.

I'm going to teach you all my smarticles on how to be rich.

We can be B -S -S -W -H -L -A -G -S -A -L.

Huh?

Best friends forever who have lunch and go shopping a lot.

Oh,

Mousy, be a deer and take these to S. Bond's room.

Mousy, be a moose and take these to mine.

Yeah!

Only 26 more years to retirement.

mom's cooking, you forget that roast chicken shouldn't still have feathers on

it.

Oh, come on, guys. Your mom isn't that bad a cook.

Oh. What's the matter?

Oh, I forgot the key to my apartment.

Oh, that's okay.

Because I stashed an extra key right here, just in case.

Okay, guys. It's a school night, so I guess you should do your homework.

lets us watch Russell's smack -a -thon.

Well, that's odd.

Because on the don't list, don't let them convince you I

let them watch Russell's smack -a -thon before doing their homework.

Well, why can't we hang out with you on Fridays or Saturdays when we don't have

to do homework?

Oh, I'm sorry, guys. Look, on those nights, I'm Lothar, the Viking, singing

dancing and...

Hoping my fur pants don't fall off again.

Look, I leave here at four o 'clock, and I don't get back here until after

midnight. You mean there's no one here for all that time?

No, why do you ask?

Well, you know, because your cat must get lonely.

I don't have a cat.

It's a good thing, then.

Mr.

Murphy looks so busy.

Okay. Rule number one, when you're rich, it's Mosby, not Mr.

Mosby. Rule number two, letting people know you have high standards is a part

being rich.

Sigh. Sigh? See. So, see what he says.

Okay.

Mosby!

I want to tell you something about my lunch.

You mean that it's still stuck in your teeth?

Huh? No.

I just wanted to say that...

It was delicious.

Except... The noodles roaming off.

I mean, the noodles were fine, but the flavor kept roaming off.

I'll tell our chef forthwith.

What? You fired Chef Palo and hired someone named Forthwith?

No.

Forthwith is presently.

Well, I don't care if his name is presently or Forthwith. Tell them both

it.

Well, you got the address, Abby?

I promise it's my condo. How did you get your own condo? Well, you know, I

bought it a couple years ago with the money I got from my hit record, Rappin'

Zack. Never heard of it.

It was really big in Japan.

Japan? Yeah, they call me Zaki -san.

Okay.

Bye, Abby. Bye.

Ooh, you look nice.

Thank you.

Abby and I are...

to see a movie with lots of other people.

Okay, well, I'll just spend a nice night with your brother.

Well, I'm out of here.

Oh, you have a date with Barbara?

Yeah, we're going to the planetarium.

Tonight's debate, Pluto, planet or just space?

got to get me a boyfriend.

Hey, Barbara, meet me at the condo.

Esteban, are you sure you want to do this? Do not question me. I am the

customer, and what I say goes.

That's right, Esteban.

I've taught him well.

So, what did you ask for? Your sweets.

Nicer than mine.

And Dudley loves it.

Except for the hot tub. It makes him feel like chicken soup.

Daddy will never allow it. Oh, Daddy did.

He said Esteban's offer was too high to refuse.

Ah, remember rule number 13.

See it, like it, buy it.

Ooh, that is a good rule.

That'll teach me to share my smarticles.

We. All right, let's see. We got jelly beans, cherry

sodas, and cheese product in a can.

All the ingredients of romance.

I wonder if Dad has any cologne.

Low fat.

Crackers. Low sodium.

And chocolate cake.

Low nothing.

Room freshener. Forest pine.

All the ingredients of romance.

These flowers need a bake.

You look beautiful.

You look nice too, Cody.

Come in, please.

I have to tell you, I'm a little nervous.

I've never been alone with a boy in an apartment before.

Barbara, you have nothing to fear from the man who only seeks to adore you.

Oh, that's so sweet.

And if you try to go too far, I have a black belt in karate and can snap your

arm like a twig.

And I'm making your favorite tea, oolong.

Uh -huh.

Hi, Jackie -san.

What are you talking about?

Oh, the record.

Your place is awesome.

Does it come with a little girl's room? Oh, yeah, right down the hallway and to

the right.

I'll pick out some music for it.

What?

Want some company, baby?

What is he doing here? It's his apartment. That's what he's doing here.

apartment? This is Cody's apartment.

He bought it with the money he made from his solar power vacuum.

So we share the place.

Except for tonight when I'm using it. Well, I'm not going to go.

Sure, this place is big enough for the four of us.

Welcome to Shangri -La, my Amazon guy.

Mark?

What are you doing here? I heard you talking about the key in the plant.

And Cassandra and I wanted a place to talk.

But we're talking here.

Esteban, Esteban, please, please, please give me my sweet back.

I'm sorry, muchacha.

Rich people never give anything back.

Can I tell us I gave you?

Oh, of course.

That's why rich people never give anything back.

You seem tense.

Would you like to go ride in my limo? It has a volleyball court.

I'm afraid you can't do that, Esteban. There's a problem.

What? The net is not up?

No, the bank was here. They took your limousine.

What? Can't they go play volleyball somewhere else?

Esteban, they repossessed it.

They also took your yacht, your jet, your sports car, your solid gold toilet

that plays Moon River when you... use it.

Oh, this is a disaster!

They can't do this to me!

Well, actually, they can. Your country's had another change in government, and

your family has been removed from power.

Oh, Dios mio!

You must have saved some money.

Oh, yes, I did.

I saved about $10 million.

Oh, that's good!

Except for in this country.

It's worth about a buck forty.

Wait, Exelon's poor again?

But how can that be?

Well, he had money. Uh -huh. Now he doesn't.

Oh.

What a shame.

I get my sweet back. Laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh.

That is mean.

Rule number one.

Lock the bar.

Oh, Mr. Mosby, I should have listened to you.

Instead of miss spin now, save never.

It's times like these that show a man's true character. Yes, you're right.

I must show that I am strong, that I am in control.

I want that money!

Okay, all right.

What is that, ten times in a row?

Eleven, by my count.

apartment uh because we ordered german takeout first of all

vikings are from scandinavia and secondly i'm their father

your dad is a viking

dad what are you doing here it's intermission

and i forgot my fur pelt but more importantly what are you all doing in my

apartment

I am due to invade Nova Scotia in five minutes.

Come here.

You, get over here.

Sneaking girls in here without permission is totally inappropriate.

Well, now that you're here, can we have your permission?

Sure. Come on, knock yourselves out.

Are you kidding?

This party is over.

You boys are so beyond grounded.

I'm going to spend the entire second act thinking of punishments that a Viking

would find cruel.

Okay, but please, please, please just don't tell Mom.

Tell Mom what?

About how we're out here playing spin the bottle.

Let me guess, you didn't meet her at a library.

Carrie, what are you doing here?

I came here to pick up the boys' hockey uniforms, and I walk in on a kissing

party hosted by a Viking.

No, I... I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.

It's not Dad's fault.

Yeah, he didn't know we were here.

He just came back for his fur pelt, and he already read us the riot act, so you

don't have to.

Really?

Well, did you mention how inappropriate and how they'd be grounded? Yeah.

And that you were going to call the girls mothers?

Only if they're single.

Little Nordic humor.

You're a good daddy, Lothar.

Well, thank you.

I'm glad that you see that I take my fatherly responsibilities very

Oh, I gotta run. I got a village to pillage.

Come on, girls. I'll take you home. Boys, you are in such trouble.

And that is just my underwear.

Hector, the hot dog man? Not anymore.

Now it is Hector, wealthy man of leisure.

How could this have happened?

Well, back in our country, when they kicked your family out, they kicked my

family in.

I am so happy. I am sorry, but I do not hug poor people.

It is on the list that London gave me. Come on, Hector. Let's go island

shopping. There's a lovely string of them near Jamaica.

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