Original subtitles

Cologne? Right here?

Wow, Maddie should come home from Antarctica more often.

Yeah, well, my woman's back and I'm ready to resume our relationship.

You mean the one where you hit on her and she laughs?

No, the one where she sees me and says, you know, you look a lot like Zack, only

older and a lot better looking.

Clearly the cologne has gone to your head.

Hey, sweet thing.

Although it's been ages since I've seen you, now that you're back from saving

the penguins, it's like you never left. I never did.

Zach was expecting to see Maddie, so he's disappointed that it's you. I get

a lot.

It's nothing personal. I like you, and I hope we can still be friends. I get

that a lot, too.

Actually, I'm still defrosting from Antarctica.

Hey, Maddie, it's good to see you again. Maddie, hi!

Better.

Warmer. Maddie!

I survived.

Hug. Here.

Now. Okay.

I win. Don't be shy. Get over here. Oh, group hug. I love group hugs, especially

with other people.

Kelpie got the pipes.

You know what I'm saying?

No, laddy, I can't say I do.

Ah, howdy -a, real money.

Take a listen.

Oh, I see, I see. Someone has ruined your bagpipes. I am terribly sorry. If

you'll allow me, I'm sure we can... No, wait, no, wait.

boys, let's talk.

Okay, you know, I think the Red Sox have a pretty good chance of... Dime it

about the bagpipes!

Sorry. In my defense, I didn't know it was a bagpipe.

I thought it was the new super squirter octopus, the one with eight nozzles.

In my defense, I'm not Zach.

No!

Hey, Millicent.

I'm Maddie. Nice to meet you.

has told me a lot about you. I don't think your hair is that hideous.

Thanks. And you're not as high string as London says.

I'm Mellison.

Oops.

Spoke too soon.

Hi, you must be Maddie.

Your hair is not that hideous.

So I've been told.

And you must be Nia.

I'm really looking forward to working with you. Likewise.

Oh, if you'll just give me the register key.

I'll take over my shift. Well, actually, it's my shift now, so can I have the

key, please?

You know, I know I've been away for a while, but this has always been my

Key, please?

It's my shift now. Can I have the key, please?

I've worked a long time for this shift. It's mine.

Would you please explain to Nia that this is my shift? No, it's not.

Mr. Mosby, I need my locker moved.

I am sick of Esteban's chicken pecking at my personal property.

It is Dully's way of telling you he likes you.

Obviously, Dully's not a very good judge of character.

Mr. Mosby, I have a complaint.

Last night, a certain maitre d' let his waiters clank their dishes through my

entire set.

They were trying to hide the fact that there was no applause.

Because mister must be dealing with my issue right now. Um, excuse me. There is

no dealing because this is my ship. No, it is not. Yes, this is my ship. No,

please. Excuse me.

Nervous Maddie just passed out again. Cranky Maddie is not the counter.

Titties here, Maddie. You're back.

Suddenly I miss the frozen tangerine. Well, feel free to go back.

And take the turkey with you. Dudley is a chicken. I wasn't talking about him.

People, people, people, please, please.

We are here to learn to treat each other with respect and dignity.

So shut up and listen.

Now, I have brought in a gentleman who will help us improve our group dynamics.

Allow me to introduce Mr. Sandy Buttocks.

It's actually pronounced Butto.

It's French.

French for buttocks.

Carrie, I can't wait to put myself in your hands.

Back off, buttocks boy. She's with me.

Arwen, sit.

See? She didn't ask you to sit.

You are going to love this hotel a lot better than the St. Mark.

Oh, it's lucky I ran into you, young man.

It's unfortunate about the St. Mark.

Built on an ancient burial ground, you said?

Yeah, they have a lot of problems over there.

Trees coming to life.

TVs eating children.

Whereas here, we have a free continental breakfast and the finest staff in all

of Boston.

And him.

How exactly did you get tangled in the phone cord? Well, it started when the

phone rang, and from there it was all downhill.

Hey, Skippy, I've got a big convention for you to check in.

I'm making it up to Mosby for losing all those guys in skirts.

Be sure to tell Maddie.

You really think that's going to make Maddie want to date you?

Well, then, this mustache.

Yeah, it's hard to see in this lighting.

Or any lighting.

So, uh, what kind of convention is this?

Oh, um, my colleagues and I are entomologists.

Here are the tips, and we don't care what kind of religion you are.

And tomorrow you study bugs.

Bugs? Back on the farm, we had all sorts of big, scary -looking things.

Starting with Grandpa.

So he would paint a path!

You could slap a saddle on that thing and ride it all the way to the

counterfire!

Coworkers are like family. You don't get to choose them.

Well, in some cases,

family. Mr. Mosby gave my shift to his niece.

Some might say it's nepotism.

You mean nepotism.

I'm about to give you a smackmatism.

Why don't you stand up and do something about it?

This is good. We're getting out our issues.

Good, yes. Any more issues, get out. We're going to have a steel cage match.

I'll give you a steel cage match.

on with it, Mr. Bottas.

It's pronounced Boutot.

I took French in high school.

Wow. Which I'm sure wasn't very long ago.

All right, all right. Let's move on to an exercise to help us

with trusting each other. It's not that lame old falling thing, is it?

It's not lame.

Hey, everyone, let's pair up.

Zip, don't carry. I got her. Yes, you got to be faster than that.

Okay, good.

All right, so now one person stands with their back to their partner.

I will say go, and then you will trust that your partner will be there to catch

you. Look, I really don't trust any of these people, so I'm just going to do

this by myself.

Here I go.

No, no, no, no, no.

Ow.

I forgot to catch myself.

Hey, squirrely girl.

Looks like I'm stuck with you.

Okay. Everybody ready? Yes. Yeah. Whatever.

Okay. And go.

Trust, trust, trust.

Sorry, Millicent, is there a problem?

No, no problem. Just don't want to fall.

Are you saying you don't trust me?

Yes. No.

Not just you. I have trust issues and abandonment issues and fear issues.

Arwen? Yes?

I'm done calling.

You can let go. No, sorry.

I'd like three bags of chips, two magazines, and a candy bar. All I have

hundred dollar bill and I need my change in quarters.

Yes, close it off.

I can't believe I'm face to antenna with a coolio.

Latin. It's a beetle that eats wood.

Right.

Now remember, Dr.

Mantis said to keep the room warm for the bugs.

Got it.

I also ordered a hot fudge sundae for the bugs.

Okay,

not what I meant.

We are going to carry someone using just two fingers each. You will be amazed at

how easy tasks become when you work together.

So, let's pick the smallest person here.

Millicent! No, I don't want to be lifted up. I'm short. I like being close to

the ground.

Come on, Millicent. There's no I in team.

There is an injury.

Look, let's just get this over with.

We can either lift you up with two fingers, or I can knock you down with

Your choice.

What are you talking about? The bugs are in the room. They just ordered a

sundae.

attracted the light and it would also help if we imitate their mating call

what's it sound like like zach when he's trying to impress a woman you want me

to say hey baby did you just break wind because you're blowing me away

off his head?

Maybe later.

Okay, people.

The best way to understand a co -worker is by stepping into their shoes.

But I'm a dainty size three and Matty has the feet of Sasquatch.

He means we act like someone else to see their point of view.

For example, I'll be you.

Meet me, Candy Girl. Even though you're busy, forget the other customers because

I'm more important.

Yay, me!

Sorry, London. I can't right now. Because I have to tell you a boring

about one of my weird relatives.

Do me a favor and pretend to listen, would you? While I go on and on and on

wearing my really ugly clothes.

Oh, and let's not forget. Now that I'm back from saving the penguins, I want

everyone to drop everything that they're doing.

Ask me about another, Nia. Uh -huh.

Oh, I'll do Patrick.

Well... I suppose I could get you to finish dinner in time to see Kerry

show, but that would mean working hard.

Mr.

Mosby, Mr. Mosby, can I take something that's working perfectly well and do

convoluted thing to it until it breaks?

That's great. Darwin, I don't think you're supposed to imitate yourself.

more like this. Oh, Mr.

Mosby!

Oh, can I have the day off because my chicken is chicken box and I can't feed

him chicken soup because he's a chicken.

Did I mention the fact that I have a chicken?

Oh, very well.

Good luck with that.

Oh, keep carrying those bags, Esteban, like a pack mule while I sit in my

talking to my mummy.

babies

My handy -dandy pocket generator.

Why do you keep a generator in your pocket?

Well, my handy -dandy shoe generator was broken, so... Well done, people. It is

important in a crisis situation to remain calm.

We have swarms like this in my country the second Thursday of every month.

Then how do you get rid of them? Okay, okay. The only way to get rid of them is

to make this sign of their only natural predator, the great mountain hog.

We booked a bug convention?

Yeah, I lured away a group of mental... bug freaks.

Away from the St. Mark to make up for losing the bagpipers.

Really?

Okay, I did a few yoga poses and now I am feeling better.

So let's continue with team building.

I think not.

Those bugs did more to bring us together as a team than you ever did. Yeah.

Really? Well, in the three weeks since I earned my certificate, you are the

worst team that I have ever led.

Yes. I mean, you guys work together about as well as eight monkeys with

bananas. We can't work together. That's what you're saying.

I guess you haven't seen the tipped and tossed.

Everybody.