Original subtitles

I'll break out your chainsaw. I need help carving my Zaka lantern.

At least when you stick a candle in his head, he'll be bright.

Hey, wait a minute.

I wonder where Arwen is.

Hey, he got a brand new picture of Mom.

Whoa!

Yeah, you're right.

Her makeup's all wrong.

She's a winter, and she needs to embrace it.

Zach?

Zach?

Where are you? I'm behind the bookcase.

It won't budge.

Wait. Mom's picture.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. She's a winter.

Get me out of here now.

No. I think the bookcase opened when I picked it up.

So butts never hurt anyone, huh?

Wow. A secret room.

Well,

apparently the spiders know about it.

What's behind that secret door?

Zach, I know reading isn't your strong point, but that sign says, danger, keep

out.

What's the worst that could be in there?

It's probably just a... teeny tiny mouse.

It's a nasty chest cold.

Well, maybe you need some vitamin C.

What a baby.

Well, I think my baby brother put

I cannot think of anything better to do, but I'm going to spend the night

trying.

You know, I'd love to, but I'm taking my fish trick -or -treating.

He's dressing up as a cat.

I just don't want to go.

There's going to be a costume contest, and the winner gets diamonds.

I'm there. I can't believe I'm going to miss London's Halloween party to visit

Mother.

Last year, I had a costume that scared the bejeebies out of the entire staff.

Yeah, what'd you go as? You!

I had a tiny little suit, a tiny little name tag. Oh, and I got down on my tiny

little knees.

I was like, Eskimo, pick up that luggage.

Arwen, pick that radiator.

Boy, stop having fun.

Now, maybe next year you can go as an unemployed hotel engineer.

Arwen!

There's something in the basement in your secret room.

I don't know anything about a secret room. The one behind the bouquet? I

know anything about a bookcase. Arwen. I don't know any Arwen.

Okay, come here.

Listen, whatever you do, do not go beyond the creepy gate. Inside the

room, behind the creepy bookcase that I know nothing about.

It's a matter of life and death.

Have a nice day.

bike helmet?

Because mom says always to wear it when we do something dangerous.

That thing could be an alligator that crawled in from the sewers.

Alligators can't peel oranges.

Maybe it's a monkey.

Or maybe it's both.

Maybe it's a monkey gator.

Or an alagunky.

grade when you swore you saw a vampoodle?

Well, let's open it up and see.

Okay, it's one of these two.

I still think we shouldn't disturb it.

Especially this close to lunch. We're not going to disturb it.

We're going to catch it.

and make a fortune.

Are you sure this trap is going to work?

Positive. This is a Cherokee trigger snare.

Guaranteed to catch any simple -minded creature that comes close to it.

We can only hope the Alec donkey is as simple -minded as you are.

Get me out of this thing. Okay, well, you've got to stop struggling and maybe

trying to.

It's not a struggle, but it doesn't work because you keep getting caught.

No, no, it's not caught.

one in the middle. Have you ever heard of moisturizer?

Miss London, what is the scariest thing you've ever seen?

Portia Tenenbaum without makeup.

London, about the costume contest. Sorry, the only way to win my contest is

have a great costume. Just be creative.

Like Carrie, the hopelessly haggard housewife. Great costume.

I just went out for a jog.

Who said books never hurt anybody?

Arwen, what are you doing here?

Well, there are two theories. One is evolution.

No!

We mean here in the basement.

Oh, well, I came back from Mother's early because I thought you two would

see what's behind the... Holy open gate!

Open the gate!

Why did you two come down here after I told you not to?

Well, we thought you might have an alagunky back there.

That's ridiculous.

I tried that once and it ate itself.

Whatever it was, it kind of looked like you.

It all started on a Tuesday.

No, you know what? It was a Monday. No, it was a... Did you know what it was? I

think it was a long weekend, so it was a Tuesday.

Arwen! It was early in the week.

You mean to tell us that that thing that we saw was actually a robot?

And you built it from scratch?

Well, I don't know if you'd call it scratch.

I got a kit out of a cereal box.

To construct my creation, I used the latest in robotic technology.

Here we go, big guy.

Wrong switch.

Yes.

He's moving.

He's moving.

Are we having an earthquake?

No, no, no. He's moving. He's moving.

He's alive.

He's alive.

He's alive.

He's walking.

He's walking. Oh, you know what? My fault. I forgot. Finishing touch. Come

Come here.

Here you go. Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Ready? Ready? Here we go. Here we go.

we go.

Huh?

Huh? Uh -huh.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. Oh,

you want a little toaster?

For a toaster? That's fine. Lots of iron.

Okay. Good boy.

Okay. Okay.

No light bulbs until you finish your toaster.

Yeah, well, life isn't fair.

Do you want to time out?

I was

so proud of my little Arwen Stein.

But unfortunately, I couldn't work out all of the kinks.

Kinks? What kinks? Oh, nothing major.

He has a lurch when he walks.

One of his ears is a little crooked.

And occasionally, he goes into an unstoppable rampage and destroys

his path.

Occasionally? Only when he sees bright flashes of light. And broccoli.

I feel the same way about cauliflower.

For me, it's Brussels sprouts. Hey, hey, can we return to this episode of My

Least Favorite Vegetable after we capture the monster that's somewhere in

hotel? You're right. You're right. But don't even get me started on kale. We'll

be here all night. Monster!

Right, let's go.

It's you, Arwen.

Oh, good costume.

Ah!

You're welcome.

Arwen, back from your mother's. How was it? Ah!

Oh, you said a mouthful.

That's how I feel after I visit my mother.

Oh, what are you doing? That's my pen.

the pipes need fixing?

Yes, we are.

How are we going to move him?

I got an idea.

He loves oranges.

Oh, you're right.

Come on, boy.

He's right.

That's a tangelo.

An aromatic hybrid of a tangerine and a pomelo.

He's eating.

so we can make some money off of them. You are not going to put Arwen Stein on

display.

You know, you gotta treat him with some dignity.

Hey, guys.

Mom,

we didn't know you were home.

Yeah, I'm here working on my Halloween costume. What do you think? I'm static

cling.

you putting on your costumes?

Uh, we're wearing them?

Mr. Mosby says we're scary enough as it is.

Well, I better keep working on mine. It stinks, especially compared to yours,

Erwin. I need a picture of this. Oh, no, I don't... Somebody

doesn't

like having his picture taken.

grab a snack.

Okay. Okay.

So much for winning the costume contest.

Great costume, Mosby.

What are you?

Well, I'm the bottom half of the horse. My head's home with the head cold.

So now I'm just a horse's never mind.

What a pretty princess costume.

Oh, it's not a costume. It came with the country I bought.

Want to be my prime minister?

Some candy?

All right, but it'll go right through you.

I'll handle the joke.

You mean that didn't tickle your funny bone?

Seriously, you're annoying me.

Hear me, hear me. It is time to start the costume contest.

Dazzle me, people and creatures.

Line up over here.

Real original, Esteban.

Abraham Lincoln.

Next!

I am the mighty lobster.

I'm allergic to you. Next!

I am corn.

Hello, corn. And where do you dress up today?

Know what you mean? I hate broccoli, too.

If I eat one piece of that candy, this dress will pop right open.

I'll be bride.

Well, congratulations, Arwen. Thank you.

Wait, if you're here, then who's that?

Okay, it's time to get a picture with our contest winner.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Would you believe three times a week?

Okay,

I went yesterday.

Are you all right?

Do you want me to get you a glass of water?

And apparently she didn't agree with him.

No, no, leave him alone.

Can't you see he's just afraid?

He may not be human, but he still has feelings.

Wow. Is this from a guy who wanted to turn him into a sideshow freak?

Well, I was wrong, okay?

Underneath all those nuts and bolts, there's a wonderful warm heart.

Actually, it's a coffee maker.

But lovely thought. Keep going.

He may not have hurt Carrie this time, but I can't have him running around my

hotel causing havoc. I have you two for that.

Arwen, dismantle him immediately.

No, you can't. No, boys.

Mr. Mosby may be right.

I think maybe my little Arwen Stein has too many glitches.

First word was argh.

Still, aww.

Oh, son, I can't dismantle you.

I mean, everybody has glitches, right?

So can we keep him, Mr. Mosby? Yeah, can we?

Well... Fri... Fri... Fri... Friend.

Aw, he likes you.

All right, the big lug nut can stay.

Wow, Arwenstein is really good at doing the robot.

That's because he is a robot.

All right.

Hey, great news. Mother wants Arwenstein to come stay with her.

No, no, no, you'll love her. She's got the cutest little refrigerator.

You two are going to get along great.

It's your big guy.

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