Original subtitles

Monkey talk now!

No. Your mom's getting married and moving out, and now you've got to live

and have no one to talk to except your monkey sock doll?

You know me so well.

How could Mother just move out?

Who am I going to go to the movies with?

Well, we'll go with you, buddy.

I am a 34 -year -old man.

I'm not going to go to the movies with two little kids?

about our dinner date. Look at what I'm going to wear.

This is for the appetizer.

This is for the entree.

And this is for the after -dinner mint.

See? It's mint green.

Look, London, there's no easy way for me to tell you this.

I'm breaking up with you.

Wow, I don't think I have an outfit for that.

No, wait. What you're wearing is fine.

Oh, thanks.

Fine for what?

For me.

Breaking up with you.

You're serious about that?

You're breaking up with me?

But I'm rich and beautiful.

That's true.

But I just don't think we have that much in common.

You just agreed that I was rich and beautiful.

That's true.

Isn't that enough?

I'm sorry, London.

I hope we can still be friends.

Maybe not close friends.

Hey, Arwen, you've been working on that sink all day. Don't you want to take a

break and go home?

No, no, I should really stay here and fix this.

But it wasn't broken when you got here.

Well,

it is now.

Mom, he doesn't want to go home.

He misses his mommy.

Which I don't get at all.

At his age.

We should invite him to dinner. It'll make him feel better.

Well, I do have enough wheat loaf to go around.

Wheat loaf?

We want him to cheer up, not throw up.

Man, none of the health foods are killing us.

You know, you boys should be grateful to eat food made by your mother.

I want to taste it before you say that.

Oh, that is so sweet, really. But you know what? I shouldn't impose. I really

shouldn't. What if you insist?

See? Arwen, we would be delighted if you would stay for dinner. Oh, I almost

forgot. Mother always says, wash your hands before dinner.

She also said never forget to flush, so...

Queen Plate Club, I get dessert in your face.

Naturally, it's on your face.

Man, that wheat loaf just goes right through me.

Terry, can I help you with the dishes?

Thank you, Arwen. How thoughtful of you.

I always used to do them with Mother. She'd wash, I'd dry.

She'd tell me I missed a spot and then smack me with a dish towel.

Oh, I miss her.

Mom, smack him with a dish towel.

I'm not going to do that. Well, maybe Arwen can stay here tonight.

Great idea.

Hey, Arwen, you can stay here tonight, can't you? Yeah, can't you?

Please, Mom, please.

But he doesn't have his pajamas.

Yes, I do.

Well, if I wore them over my clothes, you'd think I was weird.

Okay, I guess one night wouldn't hurt.

But it's lights out for everybody at ten o 'clock.

Ten o 'clock?

Yes, I get to stay up an extra two hours!

Here's your change, sir, and I hope you are satisfied with your excellent

service.

dungeon.

For the last time, we don't have a dungeon.

Well, then what's that room in the bottom of the hotel?

That's the basement.

Well, if that's the basement, then why is there a fire -breathing dragon in it?

That's the furnace.

Uncle Marion, uh, this is girl talk. Why don't you go feed the dragon?

Aha! So there is a dragon.

You know, London, I've been a dump before. Oh, there's a shock.

But I'm not like you. I've never been the dumpy. I've always been the dumper.

One more crack and you're going to be in the dumpster.

This just doesn't make any sense.

I mean, why would anyone want to break up with me?

Well, I don't know. You're selfish, superficial.

Don't really listen to anybody.

Nope, can't think of a thing.

I need someone to snoop, pry, and weasel information out of him.

Well, I just snoop and pry, but...

Weasel is going to cost you.

How about a diamond necklace?

That'll work.

See? Now that's a tip.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, Cody.

Good night, Mom.

Good night, Arwen.

Hey, kiss the sock monkey.

always reads me a story.

Yeah, Mom used to read us stories, too.

Then we turned six.

You're never too old for a classic. The little engineer that could.

Let me guess. It's about a hotel engineer that thought he couldn't fix

something, and then he can.

You saw the movie.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Once upon a time, there was a hotel engineer.

I'm a hotel engineer. He said... No, no, no. Do the voice.

What voice?

The hotel engineer voice.

It sounds like this.

I'm a hotel engineer, he said.

I have lots of... That's it. That's the voice. That's it.

book just lists tools?

because you said i creep you out and you took that to heart so i heard you and

linda broke up uh how come oh you know i really don't like to talk about my

private life because if i do then it's not private you like yummy worms

my favorite worm snack

No, I really don't feel comfortable talking about Wanda.

And where did you meet her?

I don't see how it really matters at the halibut hangout.

She's a hostess slash mermaid.

You're dating a mermaid?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Mer -person.

Yeah, whatever.

You guys want dessert?

I made cauliflower cobbler.

You know what, though?

I am totally wiped out.

Arwen kept waking me up to check under his bed for monsters.

And when Arwen's not awake, he sings in his sleep.

The right flange connected to the left flange. The left flange connected to the

flush valve. Well, that could be annoying. Oh, I'm not finished yet.

The flush valve connected to the three -quarter -inch rubberized tank gasket.

Them valves, them valves, them valves.

Well, Arwen's back at his house, and tonight we'll all catch up on our sleep.

Hey, I'm here to fix that flushing sink.

Okay,

can we until tomorrow?

Oh, that's perfect. I'll just sleep over again and get a fresh start in the

morning.

Oh, I forgot to pee, Jane.

who's never lifted a finger.

This is terrible.

How could I possibly compete with the mermaid?

She could take him to the underwater city of Atlantis.

He's always wanted to go there.

London, I'm guessing she's not an actual mermaid.

I'm not paying you to guess. Is she or isn't she?

I'm going no.

Okay, so if she's not a mermaid, I can still get him back.

I want you to find that fake fish girl and have her in the lobby when Lance

comes to work on Saturday.

You know, that would be a lot easier if I had some earrings to match my new

necklace.

Oh, that makes sense. Here.

When she sees me in Lance's arms, that waterlogged wench will swim away with

tail between her legs.

Well, how are you going to get Lance back in your arms?

Where there's a gill, there's a way.

Sit up.

Sit up. Good dog.

Can you make me a rhinoceros pancake like Mother does?

Did.

He's coming right up. Get rid of him.

You know, Arwen, it has been absolutely awesome having you here for the past

week.

It's only been three days.

Really? Only three days?

Mm -hmm.

But it's been packed with a week's worth of fun.

opportunity at home you have an awesome bachelor pad now that your mother is

gone mother

Lots of cute girls.

Everything there reminds me of Mother.

So just throw it all out.

You mean throw away her knick -knacks?

Or, or, or, we can just pack up her knick -knacks and put them in a box.

You know, Mother took most of them with her when she left, so... Arwen, don't

all these eyes staring at you all the time kind of creep you out?

Eh, not really. You really just can't look them in the eyes.

Look, Arwen, this is going to be great.

You could change this apartment completely.

You mean take out all these owls and replace them with something cool, like

squirrels? You know, what's good is that idea is... If I saw this squirrel

clock, and every hour, a cute little squirrel comes out and bangs walnuts

together.

like a pool table or air hockey, a big -screen TV, things girls like.

Oh, I see where you guys are going with this, but I don't see any girl knocking

on my door anytime soon.

Why should I give her my sugar?

Because you might get some sugar back.

Well, if she just gives me the same sugar back, then what's the point?

This is ridiculous.

Well, it's the only way I can get Lance back.

Now, turn on the little driver's outfit and stand by the treasure chest.

No, I will not do it. Now, get out of there immediately or I will call your

father. Oh, good.

Then I can mention to him you called in sick to attend that pocket -haking

convention.

Swim safely.

But I will need Norman, my bearded doorman, back.

Fine, but I'm keeping the bellhop.

Oh.

Hey, London.

Hey, sailor.

London, you look beautiful.

Did you do something different with your hair?

with london that's what you think london are you okay my

little angel fish get your hands off me you bottom feeder no no no you don't

understand i was just helping her up yeah right

pitches for the global inquiry.

No need for a lawsuit, Wanda.

Put a little tartar sauce on it and your recovery will go swimmingly.

How is she?

Slightly sprained fin.

I didn't mean for it to go that far.

I just wanted to win you back.

But why?

I mean, did you really think that someday we were going to get married and

guppies? Of course not.

I mean, all you like to do is swim.

All you like to do is shop.

swimming i guess the truth is you're a water sign and i'm a dollar

sign lance i think we need to break up

but i already don't make this harder than it needs to be stop begging it's

please let's just end this with a little dignity

Nothing. I was just waiting for Mr. Squirrel. It's almost six o 'clock.

The clock was so not part of my vision.

So, what should we do first to break in my new bachelor pad, huh? I was thinking

a foosball journey. Then we'll fire up the buffalo wing maker.

I have this new ranch dip recipe that I've been dying to try out.

Great. I mean, how could things get any better?

You see?

No, thanks.

I'm Dafflorem Strudel Intolerant.

Arwen?

Um, won't you come in, Enid, and bring your multitude of cheeses?

Yeah, those owls could get a little creepy.

Oh, no, I was talking about your mother.

So no offense.

Oh, none taken. She did have a habit of never blinking.

You look very handsome tonight, Arwen.

Oh, thank you, Enid.

I like the way the tape on your glasses matches your shoes.

you guys be heading home? It's getting a little late, isn't it?

No, it's only six o 'clock and you still haven't tried the dip.

You're the dip.

Don't you see that they want to be alone?

Oh, our little Arwen is grown up.

So, Enid, we're finally alone.

Love the bitch fork.

Thank you, boys.

It's a trident. And I think he's supposed to be Neptune.

I think he's from Neptune.

By the way, Zack, what did you do with all those owls?

Oh, I found a home for them.