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1
00:00:02,435 --> 00:00:05,104
Hey, cody, want
to head down to the park and shoot some hoops?
2
00:00:05,176 --> 00:00:06,910
I can't.
I'm taking a test.
3
00:00:06,981 --> 00:00:09,449
On a Saturday?
4
00:00:09,521 --> 00:00:11,856
Yeah! It's fun.
5
00:00:11,927 --> 00:00:15,330
And the winner of
boston's biggest nerd
6
00:00:15,404 --> 00:00:18,406
For an unprecedented
5 years in a row is
7
00:00:18,478 --> 00:00:19,879
Cody martin!
8
00:00:19,949 --> 00:00:22,818
[imitates
crowd cheering]
9
00:00:22,891 --> 00:00:24,758
Very funny.
10
00:00:24,829 --> 00:00:28,965
Well, this happens to be
an aptitude test that I found on the internet,
11
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,408
You know,
that thing people use to look up stuff
12
00:00:31,481 --> 00:00:35,417
Besides a man wearing
a beard of bees.
13
00:00:35,491 --> 00:00:38,893
Dude, it's
a beard of bees!
14
00:00:40,271 --> 00:00:42,306
Yeah, well, this
test is awesome.
15
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,711
It tells you what
you're going to be when you grow up.
16
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:47,885
Hmm. I'll take
the test, too.
17
00:00:51,502 --> 00:00:53,569
Ha ha!
18
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,442
You're looking at
the beard of bees again, aren't you?
19
00:00:56,515 --> 00:00:59,083
Maybe.
20
00:01:03,065 --> 00:01:05,233
♪ here I am in your life ♪
21
00:01:05,305 --> 00:01:07,239
♪ here you are
in mine ♪
22
00:01:07,311 --> 00:01:10,346
♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪
23
00:01:10,419 --> 00:01:12,320
♪ most of the time ♪
24
00:01:12,391 --> 00:01:14,559
♪ you and me,
we got the world to see ♪
25
00:01:14,630 --> 00:01:16,798
♪ so come on down ♪
26
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,871
♪ just me and you
know what to do ♪
27
00:01:18,943 --> 00:01:21,511
♪ so come on down ♪
28
00:01:21,583 --> 00:01:23,684
♪ it's you and me
and me and you ♪
29
00:01:23,755 --> 00:01:26,490
♪ we got the whole place
to ourselves ♪
30
00:01:26,563 --> 00:01:28,664
♪ you and me,
we got it all for free ♪
31
00:01:28,735 --> 00:01:31,203
♪ so come on down ♪
32
00:01:31,276 --> 00:01:34,011
♪ this is the suite life ♪
33
00:01:35,922 --> 00:01:39,324
♪ we've got a suite life ♪
34
00:01:44,846 --> 00:01:46,713
Captioning made possible by
abc cable networks group
35
00:01:46,784 --> 00:01:48,285
Here you are.
I've been looking all over for you.
36
00:01:48,355 --> 00:01:50,456
And you found
me in the lobby.
37
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,528
What a strange
twist of fate! Oh!
38
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:56,569
Mr. Moseby, my podium
is falling apart, and I want a new one.
39
00:01:56,644 --> 00:01:58,979
I picked out a lovely one
40
00:01:59,051 --> 00:02:02,219
From podium emporium.
41
00:02:02,292 --> 00:02:04,560
It's mahogany...
42
00:02:04,632 --> 00:02:07,801
With a little holder
for my spectacles.
43
00:02:07,874 --> 00:02:12,078
Oh! It is beautiful!
44
00:02:12,152 --> 00:02:14,354
However we can't
afford it.
45
00:02:15,662 --> 00:02:17,196
I'm prepared to quit.
46
00:02:17,266 --> 00:02:18,633
I'm prepared
to replace you.
47
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:19,970
I hate
when you do that.
48
00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:23,944
♪ I'm back ♪
49
00:02:24,820 --> 00:02:27,322
Don't I look great?
I know.
50
00:02:27,394 --> 00:02:28,961
Guess where I've been.
51
00:02:29,031 --> 00:02:30,465
Inside a lamp?
52
00:02:31,939 --> 00:02:33,907
No. I've been
to morocco.
53
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:36,147
It's so
wonderful there.
54
00:02:36,217 --> 00:02:38,318
During the day,
it's so bright.
55
00:02:38,390 --> 00:02:41,526
And at night,
it gets dark?
56
00:02:41,599 --> 00:02:43,867
You've been there?
57
00:02:43,939 --> 00:02:45,673
Just guessing.
58
00:02:45,744 --> 00:02:48,379
Well, they love me
in morocco. See?
59
00:02:48,451 --> 00:02:50,952
They put me
on the cover.
60
00:02:51,025 --> 00:02:52,826
Must have been
a slow news day.
61
00:02:52,896 --> 00:02:55,698
Daddy's gonna build
a hotel on a beach
62
00:02:55,771 --> 00:02:57,138
And name it after me.
63
00:02:57,208 --> 00:03:00,376
Oh, great!
I can't wait to stay at hotel airhead!
64
00:03:00,450 --> 00:03:01,383
Yeah!
65
00:03:01,452 --> 00:03:03,253
Moseby: Ah.
66
00:03:03,325 --> 00:03:04,859
London, how was morocco?
67
00:03:04,928 --> 00:03:08,130
Great. I kissed
a camel.
68
00:03:09,608 --> 00:03:11,709
Not on the first
date, I hope.
69
00:03:11,780 --> 00:03:15,817
Anyway, I've invited
the ambassador to dinner this Friday night.
70
00:03:15,892 --> 00:03:18,493
And I want him
to be treated to a moroccan feast.
71
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:21,902
Ooh. I'll
call my kabob guy--bob,
72
00:03:21,974 --> 00:03:23,408
My pita guy--peter,
73
00:03:23,479 --> 00:03:25,680
And my couscous
guy--steve.
74
00:03:25,752 --> 00:03:28,120
London: Daddy also
wants the restaurant redecorated
75
00:03:28,191 --> 00:03:31,794
To look all moroccany
and stuff.
76
00:03:31,868 --> 00:03:35,270
Wonderful idea.
We'll spare no expense.
77
00:03:35,344 --> 00:03:37,312
We'll get the finest
hand-sewn carpets
78
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,850
And beautiful silk tapestries.
79
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,088
Ooh, and jewel-encrusted
brass lamps.
80
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,860
Ooh, thanks!
81
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:43,864
Oh.
82
00:03:43,934 --> 00:03:45,068
And yet
83
00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:47,439
You can't afford
a stinking podium.
84
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:49,345
Now, patrick, it's--
85
00:03:49,415 --> 00:03:51,450
Oh, patrick.
86
00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:01,641
[whispering]
what did you get for question 19?
87
00:04:01,715 --> 00:04:04,684
1-9?
88
00:04:04,757 --> 00:04:06,057
Stop whispering.
89
00:04:06,128 --> 00:04:08,829
And this isn't the kind
of test you can cheat on.
90
00:04:08,902 --> 00:04:11,971
Sorry. Force of habit.
91
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:15,913
It's really
quite interesting. Did you read question 20?
92
00:04:15,988 --> 00:04:20,224
Would you rather design
a device to retrieve broken satellites from space
93
00:04:20,299 --> 00:04:21,833
Or trash a hotel room?
94
00:04:21,904 --> 00:04:23,304
Oh, that's easy.
Oh, that's easy.
95
00:04:23,374 --> 00:04:24,974
Satellite!
Hotel room!
96
00:04:25,045 --> 00:04:26,813
Criminal.
Goody two-shoes.
97
00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:30,321
Well, I'm hoping this test
will help me decide
98
00:04:30,393 --> 00:04:33,862
Between becoming
a scientist or writing the great american novel.
99
00:04:33,936 --> 00:04:35,770
I'm just hoping after
we hit send,
100
00:04:35,841 --> 00:04:38,342
It'll make
a whooshing sound.
101
00:04:38,415 --> 00:04:39,648
[whoosh]
102
00:04:39,718 --> 00:04:42,820
Oh, man,
that's the best!
103
00:04:42,894 --> 00:04:45,129
Even better
than grandpa burps the alphabet?
104
00:04:45,199 --> 00:04:46,733
Oh, that's
cool, too,
105
00:04:46,804 --> 00:04:48,671
Especially when he
chokes on "w."
106
00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:51,681
♪ ♪
107
00:04:51,751 --> 00:04:53,318
Cool.
The results are in.
108
00:04:53,388 --> 00:04:58,826
What? This test
says I'm going to be a sanitation engineer.
109
00:04:58,904 --> 00:05:00,704
Engineer. Pretty good.
110
00:05:00,775 --> 00:05:02,209
No. You don't
understand.
111
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:06,383
Sanitation engineer
is just a fancy name for garbageman.
112
00:05:06,457 --> 00:05:09,326
Oh, well, at least
yours makes sense.
113
00:05:09,399 --> 00:05:12,668
You're a clean
freak. Mine says that I'm gonna become a...
114
00:05:12,740 --> 00:05:14,074
[key-o]
ceo.
115
00:05:14,145 --> 00:05:16,513
What the heck
is a ceo?
116
00:05:16,585 --> 00:05:19,253
That says "c.E.O."
117
00:05:19,326 --> 00:05:20,492
Excellent!
118
00:05:20,562 --> 00:05:24,332
What's a c.E.O.?
119
00:05:24,405 --> 00:05:25,706
Chief executive
officer.
120
00:05:25,776 --> 00:05:28,044
You're going to be
the head of a large corporation.
121
00:05:28,116 --> 00:05:30,417
And I'm going to be
a garbageman?
122
00:05:30,489 --> 00:05:32,924
There must be
some mistake.
123
00:05:32,996 --> 00:05:35,497
Cody, can you throw that
away for me?
124
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:36,869
Yeah.
125
00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:40,278
Nope. No mistake.
126
00:05:42,655 --> 00:05:45,857
Patrick, where are you?
127
00:05:45,931 --> 00:05:47,965
Hiding.
128
00:05:48,037 --> 00:05:50,405
Oh, come out from
under there.
129
00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:55,586
What do you want?
130
00:05:55,657 --> 00:05:58,426
Well, for my first
wish, I would--
131
00:05:58,498 --> 00:06:01,500
That's it. I-I'm changing
back into my tuxedo.
132
00:06:01,573 --> 00:06:05,409
No, no, no, no, no.
Patrick, there is no time for that.
133
00:06:05,483 --> 00:06:07,117
The moroccan ambassador
is on his way in.
134
00:06:07,188 --> 00:06:11,992
Ah. Here they are.
Ms. London, mr. Ambassador.
135
00:06:12,068 --> 00:06:13,335
Welcome
to the tipton.
136
00:06:13,405 --> 00:06:15,606
I hope you enjoy
our moroccan decor.
137
00:06:15,678 --> 00:06:16,611
Ah.
138
00:06:16,681 --> 00:06:18,749
Right this way.
139
00:06:20,892 --> 00:06:22,960
Please have a seat.
Careful.
140
00:06:23,031 --> 00:06:24,765
It's a long
way down.
141
00:06:26,273 --> 00:06:27,607
Sit where you like, sir.
142
00:06:27,676 --> 00:06:30,045
I don't have a bad side.
143
00:06:31,554 --> 00:06:34,122
I hope you enjoy
your goat kabob appetizer.
144
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:37,963
Don't worry. We've
removed its tiny beard.
145
00:06:40,545 --> 00:06:43,113
And we've arranged
some very special entertainment for you.
146
00:06:43,186 --> 00:06:45,854
Ahem. Maybe not
so special.
147
00:06:45,926 --> 00:06:47,726
[clap clap]
148
00:06:47,798 --> 00:06:49,532
[music playing]
149
00:06:57,992 --> 00:07:00,994
What happened
to the professional belly dancer?
150
00:07:01,067 --> 00:07:02,501
Belly ache.
151
00:07:02,571 --> 00:07:04,639
Stay away from
the tabbouleh.
152
00:07:05,914 --> 00:07:08,382
London: But she's awful.
153
00:07:17,779 --> 00:07:19,280
London: Oh!
154
00:07:19,349 --> 00:07:23,286
Patrick, I need an iced tea
with a slice of lime and a sprig of mint.
155
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,261
And by the way,
the ambassador's either choking
156
00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:26,700
Or playing charades.
157
00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:28,904
Patrick: Oh, dear!
158
00:07:28,976 --> 00:07:31,277
Aah! Oh, my!
159
00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:33,483
Oh, I missed
the heimlich maneuver class.
160
00:07:33,555 --> 00:07:36,123
I was at a hockey
game with my dad.
161
00:07:36,195 --> 00:07:38,997
Apparently, he regretted
not spending more time with me as a child--
162
00:07:39,070 --> 00:07:40,270
Oh! Move it!
163
00:07:43,014 --> 00:07:44,548
[ptooey]
164
00:07:48,395 --> 00:07:51,764
Ok. Ew!
165
00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:58,585
You saved my life.
166
00:07:58,657 --> 00:08:00,524
Maddie: Nah.
167
00:08:00,595 --> 00:08:04,364
But then again, who am I to
argue with an ambassador?
168
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:10,786
Honey...
169
00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:13,290
Can you help me
put these away?
170
00:08:13,363 --> 00:08:14,863
Right after I finish
171
00:08:14,933 --> 00:08:17,134
This article about
global economics and emerging markets.
172
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,174
Ok. Never mind, cody.
I'll ask zack.
173
00:08:19,245 --> 00:08:21,113
I am zack.
174
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:24,355
But you're reading
a magazine
175
00:08:24,425 --> 00:08:26,493
With words.
176
00:08:26,565 --> 00:08:28,999
Well, if I'm
destined to become a titan of industry,
177
00:08:29,071 --> 00:08:31,005
I have to stay
on top of things.
178
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,912
Yeah, but your feet
don't, mr. Titan.
179
00:08:33,985 --> 00:08:35,686
Sorry.
180
00:08:35,757 --> 00:08:37,090
You know, this magazine
has everything
181
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,561
We c.E.O. Millionaire
types could want.
182
00:08:39,633 --> 00:08:41,868
Should I get a flying
car, a flying boat,
183
00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:43,707
Of a flying monkey?
184
00:08:43,779 --> 00:08:46,781
There's no such thing
as flying monkeys.
185
00:08:47,923 --> 00:08:50,491
Well, I'll be darned.
186
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,230
I'd go with the boat.
187
00:08:52,301 --> 00:08:54,002
It doesn't fling...
188
00:08:54,072 --> 00:08:56,040
Bananas at you
when it gets mad.
189
00:08:56,112 --> 00:09:00,982
Good idea. Remind
me to put you on my board of directors.
190
00:09:03,498 --> 00:09:05,466
Well, hey, would you
look at this?
191
00:09:05,537 --> 00:09:08,039
Blue chip stocks
are up 2.6%.
192
00:09:08,110 --> 00:09:12,814
At that rate,
that's an annualized gain of 31.2%.
193
00:09:14,863 --> 00:09:16,964
Zack...
194
00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:19,302
Did you
just do math?
195
00:09:19,374 --> 00:09:21,408
I guess I did!
196
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,749
You know, if they had
just put dollar signs in math books,
197
00:09:24,823 --> 00:09:27,391
I would have started
studying a long time ago.
198
00:09:27,463 --> 00:09:28,997
That aptitude
test was
199
00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:32,470
The best thing
that ever happened to this family.
200
00:09:32,544 --> 00:09:34,244
Hey, mom.
201
00:09:35,885 --> 00:09:39,054
Hey, einstein, got
any good theories for me?
202
00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:42,530
Mom: Cody, that is
a new look for you.
203
00:09:42,604 --> 00:09:48,275
Yeah. I call it
my "I have no future, so what's the point" look.
204
00:09:48,353 --> 00:09:50,154
Honey, just because some
aptitude test says
205
00:09:50,224 --> 00:09:51,725
You're gonna wind up
in a certain career,
206
00:09:51,796 --> 00:09:53,463
It doesn't mean it's true.
207
00:09:53,534 --> 00:09:54,968
So are you
saying
208
00:09:55,037 --> 00:09:57,005
That I'm not going
to be a successful businessman?
209
00:09:57,077 --> 00:09:58,844
Of course you are.
210
00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:00,782
But you just said
the test was bogus.
211
00:10:00,853 --> 00:10:01,886
Well, it is.
212
00:10:01,956 --> 00:10:03,390
So I'm not going
to be a tycoon?
213
00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:04,593
Well...
214
00:10:04,664 --> 00:10:06,465
No, what I mean is...
215
00:10:06,535 --> 00:10:09,537
What I'm trying
to say is...
216
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:12,679
Who wants
pizza bagels?
217
00:10:12,752 --> 00:10:15,353
It's pizza
on a bagel.
218
00:10:16,462 --> 00:10:19,031
Later. Now, if
you'll excuse me,
219
00:10:19,102 --> 00:10:21,671
I have
to talk to a man about a monkey.
220
00:10:23,213 --> 00:10:24,080
Well...
221
00:10:24,150 --> 00:10:25,817
Why don't I take out
the trash,
222
00:10:25,888 --> 00:10:28,723
Because I'm going to be
a garbageman anyway.
223
00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:37,981
And a bad one at that.
224
00:10:42,031 --> 00:10:45,166
Excuse me. Aren't you
maddie fitzpatrick?
225
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,441
Every day,
oh, except on weekends.
226
00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:50,048
When I'm hillary hen
at the cluck-bucket.
227
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:54,490
Three pieces for a buck.
Bawk, bawk, bawk!
228
00:10:54,565 --> 00:10:55,899
Can I have your
autograph?
229
00:10:55,969 --> 00:10:59,538
Oh, you saw
my wing ding dance.
230
00:11:01,551 --> 00:11:04,019
No, no, no.
You saved that ambassador.
231
00:11:04,091 --> 00:11:05,591
Your picture is
on the cover
232
00:11:05,662 --> 00:11:07,296
Of "what's what"
magazine.
233
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:09,300
Shut up!
234
00:11:09,372 --> 00:11:13,308
Boy, we are so carrying
this magazine from now on.
235
00:11:13,383 --> 00:11:14,783
London!
236
00:11:14,853 --> 00:11:16,020
London!
237
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:19,659
Guess who's on the cover
of "what's what."
238
00:11:19,733 --> 00:11:20,900
Who? Who?
239
00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:21,970
Me! Me!
240
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,207
Why? Why?
241
00:11:23,276 --> 00:11:26,011
Because I saved a life.
242
00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:27,750
But I should be
in that magazine.
243
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:30,556
Why?
Because I'm wearing a new hat.
244
00:11:32,602 --> 00:11:36,338
Welcome back
to "get out of bed, boston!"
245
00:11:36,411 --> 00:11:38,546
We're here
at the beautiful tipton hotel
246
00:11:38,618 --> 00:11:41,319
With local hero--
maddie fitzpatrick.
247
00:11:41,392 --> 00:11:43,693
[breathing heavily]
248
00:11:43,765 --> 00:11:45,165
Hiya.
249
00:11:45,235 --> 00:11:48,104
So, maddie, you saved
a life
250
00:11:48,176 --> 00:11:49,877
And not just
anyone's life,
251
00:11:49,948 --> 00:11:52,049
The life of
a world famous diplomat.
252
00:11:52,121 --> 00:11:55,723
So tell us,
who does your hair?
253
00:11:57,201 --> 00:11:58,969
I do.
254
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,609
That's it! I'm sick
of her stealing the lemon-light.
255
00:12:02,683 --> 00:12:05,351
I believe
that's limelight.
256
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,525
Oh, I have
an idea.
257
00:12:07,595 --> 00:12:09,330
Put this
in your mouth,
258
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,368
Then spit it out
when I pretend to save you.
259
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:15,176
No. I'm not feelin
very kabobbie.
260
00:12:15,249 --> 00:12:18,618
Come on. It's
delicious. See?
261
00:12:18,692 --> 00:12:21,461
Thanks, but I really can't
afford the extra calories.
262
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,301
As it is, I barely fit
in my puffy pants.
263
00:12:23,372 --> 00:12:26,474
Oh, dear! Aah!
264
00:12:26,547 --> 00:12:30,050
Oh, there is a rich
woman choking over here!
265
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,657
Oh, my gosh!
266
00:12:31,727 --> 00:12:33,962
[patrick moaning]
267
00:12:35,538 --> 00:12:37,506
Ok.
268
00:12:37,576 --> 00:12:40,378
Gross, part dos.
269
00:12:40,451 --> 00:12:41,518
You know,
270
00:12:41,587 --> 00:12:43,522
This would not be happening
271
00:12:43,593 --> 00:12:45,861
If I had a proper podium.
272
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,267
[groaning]
273
00:12:51,114 --> 00:12:52,514
London, are you ok?
274
00:12:52,584 --> 00:12:55,453
No. You weren't
supposed to save me.
275
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:58,294
I was supposed
to save patrick.
276
00:12:58,366 --> 00:13:00,167
She's done it
again, boston.
277
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,706
Maddie fitzpatrick
has saved another life.
278
00:13:02,778 --> 00:13:04,712
Coming up after
the break,
279
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,552
"kabobs:
Tasty tidbits or skewers of doom"?
280
00:13:13,073 --> 00:13:15,007
Stop it. Stop it.
281
00:13:15,078 --> 00:13:17,813
Ohh. Stop it.
282
00:13:22,398 --> 00:13:24,933
Stop it. I'm ticklish there.
283
00:13:26,141 --> 00:13:28,309
Don't forget to make
my pockets extra big
284
00:13:28,381 --> 00:13:30,015
To hold all my money.
285
00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:32,820
Doll face,
grab your steno pad.
286
00:13:32,893 --> 00:13:33,893
[chuckles]
287
00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:35,931
Whatever you
say, boss.
288
00:13:36,001 --> 00:13:39,070
Take a letter
to yachts and stuff.
289
00:13:39,143 --> 00:13:42,312
Dear nincompoops,
290
00:13:42,385 --> 00:13:45,221
I am not pleased with
the horn on my newest yacht.
291
00:13:45,293 --> 00:13:50,197
It should make more
of an "aooga" sound.
292
00:13:50,273 --> 00:13:54,176
How do you spell
"aooga"?
293
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,018
Change it to "beep."
294
00:13:57,158 --> 00:13:58,158
Ow!
295
00:13:58,228 --> 00:14:00,229
Mr. Martin,
are you sure
296
00:14:00,301 --> 00:14:02,736
Those girls
are tailors?
297
00:14:02,807 --> 00:14:04,174
No.
298
00:14:05,414 --> 00:14:07,548
But who cares?
299
00:14:08,790 --> 00:14:10,824
Mr. Martin, your
realtor is here.
300
00:14:10,896 --> 00:14:13,064
He wants to know
if you still want to buy that villa.
301
00:14:13,135 --> 00:14:16,337
Nah. I've decided to buy
an island instead.
302
00:14:19,118 --> 00:14:22,554
Ooh, that's
australia.
303
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:26,364
Well, after the deal closes,
it'll be zackstralia.
304
00:14:26,438 --> 00:14:27,938
[girls laughing]
305
00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:31,715
It's good to be the boss.
306
00:14:31,785 --> 00:14:32,885
Ow.
307
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,789
Ooh!
308
00:14:34,861 --> 00:14:38,230
Ooh, sir, the commodity
markets are opening.
309
00:14:38,303 --> 00:14:39,870
Do you want
to buy more gold?
310
00:14:39,941 --> 00:14:41,875
Nah. I already
own it all.
311
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:46,586
Now let me just
check how my other investments are doing.
312
00:14:47,661 --> 00:14:49,763
Computer: You've got money.
313
00:14:50,804 --> 00:14:54,407
Ka-ching! Girls,
the money dance.
314
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,814
[music playing]
315
00:14:55,884 --> 00:14:57,551
♪ money ♪
316
00:14:57,622 --> 00:14:59,122
♪ oh, oh ♪
317
00:14:59,193 --> 00:15:01,361
♪ zack's got the money ♪
318
00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:04,001
♪ lots and lots of money ♪
319
00:15:04,072 --> 00:15:05,807
♪ yes, he does! ♪
320
00:15:05,877 --> 00:15:07,111
♪ money ♪
321
00:15:07,182 --> 00:15:08,282
♪ he's the man ♪
322
00:15:08,351 --> 00:15:11,587
♪ zack's got the money ♪
323
00:15:18,044 --> 00:15:20,145
I'll be right there.
324
00:15:20,217 --> 00:15:22,485
I'll be right there.
325
00:15:22,556 --> 00:15:24,224
I'll be right there.
326
00:15:24,294 --> 00:15:26,028
♪ money ♪
327
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:26,866
♪ ooh ♪
328
00:15:26,934 --> 00:15:29,603
I'm here.
What's going on?
329
00:15:29,675 --> 00:15:31,409
I just made another
trillion dollars.
330
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,449
I'm so rich, they
had to make up a new number.
331
00:15:34,522 --> 00:15:35,688
Should we celebrate?
332
00:15:35,758 --> 00:15:38,126
Oh, we already did.
That's why we called you.
333
00:15:38,199 --> 00:15:41,301
Oh, yeah. Right.
334
00:15:43,513 --> 00:15:44,980
Zack: Clean up
this mess,
335
00:15:45,050 --> 00:15:46,717
But save a little
confetti for next time.
336
00:15:46,788 --> 00:15:48,289
Money doesn't grow
on trees.
337
00:15:48,359 --> 00:15:50,394
Yes, it does, sir.
Remember?
338
00:15:50,465 --> 00:15:52,266
You had zack labs
339
00:15:52,337 --> 00:15:54,972
Create a money tree.
340
00:15:55,044 --> 00:15:56,277
Come on, girls.
341
00:15:56,348 --> 00:15:59,116
Why don't we celebrate how I
cleaned up on wall street
342
00:15:59,188 --> 00:16:01,723
While cody here
just cleans up?
343
00:16:01,796 --> 00:16:03,496
[girls laughing]
344
00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:05,501
See you tomorrow.
345
00:16:05,572 --> 00:16:07,073
London, chuckling: Oh, my gosh.
346
00:16:09,516 --> 00:16:11,484
How could
this have happened?
347
00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:14,023
I was supposed
to be successful.
348
00:16:14,096 --> 00:16:15,997
Computer: You've got misery.
349
00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:18,002
But I'm the smart one.
350
00:16:18,073 --> 00:16:20,274
I'm the smart one!
351
00:16:20,345 --> 00:16:22,079
I'm the smart one.
352
00:16:22,151 --> 00:16:24,119
I'm the smart one!
353
00:16:24,189 --> 00:16:27,492
Oh, yeah? Then what's
the capital of honduras?
354
00:16:27,565 --> 00:16:30,567
Tegucigalpa.
355
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,575
Wow. He really is
the smart one.
356
00:16:35,319 --> 00:16:38,321
It's the middle of the night.
What are you guys doing?
357
00:16:38,394 --> 00:16:41,897
Well, cody woke me up
from the greatest dream I've ever had.
358
00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:44,972
I was a bigwig
surrounded by gorgeous girls.
359
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:48,615
That was your dream?
That was my nightmare.
360
00:16:48,689 --> 00:16:50,824
Wait. Did
your office have
361
00:16:50,895 --> 00:16:53,397
Those stunning ebony
leather chairs?
362
00:16:53,469 --> 00:16:56,437
I don't know!
363
00:16:56,510 --> 00:17:00,847
I was too busy looking
at the stunning dancing girls.
364
00:17:00,922 --> 00:17:03,257
Must have been nice.
365
00:17:03,329 --> 00:17:05,630
I was too busy
sweeping the office.
366
00:17:05,702 --> 00:17:09,238
I can't believe
my life is going to be cleaning up after zack.
367
00:17:09,311 --> 00:17:11,813
No. That's my life.
368
00:17:11,885 --> 00:17:13,819
Your life is going
to be whatever you want to make it.
369
00:17:13,891 --> 00:17:15,424
But the test
said that I'd--
370
00:17:15,495 --> 00:17:16,829
No. Forget the test.
371
00:17:16,899 --> 00:17:18,499
Tests aren't important.
372
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:22,339
Ok. Remember that
the next time I bring home an "f."
373
00:17:22,413 --> 00:17:24,748
Come on, mom.
Do you really expect me to believe you
374
00:17:24,819 --> 00:17:29,323
Over the international
life assessment and testing corporation?
375
00:17:29,399 --> 00:17:30,833
Yes!
376
00:17:30,903 --> 00:17:32,604
Who are those
people, anyway?
377
00:17:32,675 --> 00:17:36,678
I'm gonna track them
down right now and give them a piece of my mind.
378
00:17:37,889 --> 00:17:40,357
Although there's probably
no one to yell at
379
00:17:40,429 --> 00:17:42,063
At 4:00 in the morning.
380
00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:43,767
Good night, guys.
381
00:17:46,044 --> 00:17:48,112
[knock knock]
382
00:17:52,227 --> 00:17:53,995
We must have
the wrong place.
383
00:17:54,065 --> 00:17:55,900
This place is deserted.
384
00:17:55,971 --> 00:17:59,073
And why is there
a shoe under the desk?
385
00:18:00,651 --> 00:18:02,018
Excuse me.
386
00:18:02,087 --> 00:18:03,721
No one's here.
387
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:05,559
We'd like to
ask you a question.
388
00:18:05,630 --> 00:18:07,298
Are you from the I.R.S.?
389
00:18:07,368 --> 00:18:10,103
Because I swear
my returns are in the mail.
390
00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:11,810
We're not from
the government.
391
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:13,415
Collection agency?
Nope?
392
00:18:13,485 --> 00:18:15,586
How may I help you?
393
00:18:15,657 --> 00:18:18,893
You're the international
life assessment and testing corporation?
394
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,801
Yessiree. I'm also
a dating service,
395
00:18:20,871 --> 00:18:22,872
On-line casino.
396
00:18:22,944 --> 00:18:24,211
Plus, I sell fat-free
doughnuts.
397
00:18:24,281 --> 00:18:26,248
Mom: Well, I have
a complaint.
398
00:18:26,319 --> 00:18:28,921
Fine. There's
a little fat in them.
399
00:18:28,994 --> 00:18:31,261
Without it,
they'd just crumble.
400
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:34,469
We're not here about
your dang doughnuts!
401
00:18:35,611 --> 00:18:37,612
We're here about your
dang assessment test.
402
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,551
You can't
pigeonhole my son.
403
00:18:39,622 --> 00:18:41,390
You can't
tell him who he is.
404
00:18:41,460 --> 00:18:43,228
Who is he?
Cody martin.
405
00:18:43,298 --> 00:18:45,233
Don't know him.
406
00:18:45,304 --> 00:18:47,906
My son is going
to grow up to be whatever he wants to be,
407
00:18:47,978 --> 00:18:49,545
Not what you
tell him to be.
408
00:18:49,616 --> 00:18:50,849
'kay.
409
00:18:50,919 --> 00:18:55,322
'kay? You throw my son's
life into turmoil,
410
00:18:55,398 --> 00:18:59,935
And all you can say
is 'kay?
411
00:19:00,913 --> 00:19:02,814
Ok?
412
00:19:04,189 --> 00:19:05,456
You see, cody?
413
00:19:05,525 --> 00:19:08,494
Never let anyone tell you
what you can and cannot be,
414
00:19:08,568 --> 00:19:10,535
Especially this schlub.
415
00:19:10,606 --> 00:19:13,108
Although this
schlub does make good doughnuts.
416
00:19:13,179 --> 00:19:15,481
Right there!
417
00:19:15,552 --> 00:19:17,520
You were right, mom.
418
00:19:17,592 --> 00:19:20,627
This test means nothing.
I can be whatever I want to be.
419
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,735
That's right.
Good for you. Now, let's go.
420
00:19:23,809 --> 00:19:26,144
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute!
421
00:19:26,215 --> 00:19:28,617
Does this mean I'm not
going to be a c.E.O.?
422
00:19:28,688 --> 00:19:30,823
Probably not.
423
00:19:30,895 --> 00:19:32,595
Well, this stinks.
424
00:19:32,666 --> 00:19:35,601
I can't believe I
did all that math and reading for nothing.
425
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,975
It wasn't for nothing.
You proved that if you work hard,
426
00:19:38,047 --> 00:19:39,414
You can be successful.
427
00:19:39,484 --> 00:19:40,751
That's right.
428
00:19:40,821 --> 00:19:43,023
So you're gonna be
expecting this from now on?
429
00:19:43,093 --> 00:19:44,194
Pretty much.
430
00:19:44,263 --> 00:19:45,363
That's right.
431
00:19:45,433 --> 00:19:49,303
[sarcastically]
oh, well, that's a lot.
432
00:19:49,377 --> 00:19:52,279
The next time you
take a test on Saturday, count me out.
433
00:20:03,549 --> 00:20:07,719
Madeline? You
look incredible...
434
00:20:07,794 --> 00:20:09,095
Thank you.
435
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:10,898
And out of uniform.
436
00:20:10,969 --> 00:20:13,104
But I just want to look
good for my fans.
437
00:20:13,175 --> 00:20:14,743
I have autographed
pictures.
438
00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:16,447
Ooh, here comes one now.
439
00:20:22,501 --> 00:20:24,268
Maybe she was shy.
440
00:20:24,339 --> 00:20:28,409
Or maybe some
other news has taken the spotlight.
441
00:20:29,820 --> 00:20:32,789
A dachshund dragged
a kitten out of a burning building?
442
00:20:32,861 --> 00:20:33,928
What?
443
00:20:33,998 --> 00:20:35,465
Yes. His wiener shape
444
00:20:35,536 --> 00:20:37,337
Allowed him to scoot
under the smoke. It's really wonderful.
445
00:20:37,407 --> 00:20:41,010
London, did you
read about this?
446
00:20:41,084 --> 00:20:43,018
Oh, yeah. I saw the kitten
on a talk show.
447
00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:45,658
All she did was
meow about herself.
448
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:48,934
But what about
important things?
449
00:20:49,005 --> 00:20:51,374
What about serious
news, news like--
450
00:20:51,445 --> 00:20:52,879
News like me?
451
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:56,185
Maddie, remember
how you were in all the newspapers yesterday?
452
00:20:56,258 --> 00:20:57,191
Uh-huh.
453
00:20:57,261 --> 00:20:59,295
Well, that makes you
yesterday's news.
454
00:21:00,737 --> 00:21:04,173
So I guess my 15 minutes
of fame are over.
455
00:21:05,483 --> 00:21:07,651
Take it from one
worldlier than you.
456
00:21:07,723 --> 00:21:10,792
Fame is like
a lighthouse.
457
00:21:10,864 --> 00:21:12,632
Sometimes
the spotlight's on you,
458
00:21:12,702 --> 00:21:14,737
And sometimes
it goes around
459
00:21:14,809 --> 00:21:15,909
And hits
someone else. Ugh!
460
00:21:15,978 --> 00:21:19,581
And now some dachshund's
basking in it.
461
00:21:19,655 --> 00:21:21,823
Madeline,
the important thing is
462
00:21:21,894 --> 00:21:23,495
You did a good deed.
463
00:21:23,566 --> 00:21:24,999
That is true.
464
00:21:25,069 --> 00:21:27,137
I did save two lives.
465
00:21:27,209 --> 00:21:30,177
Mm! But the dachshund saved
a cat. That's 9 lives.
466
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:32,017
So he's got you
beat by 7.
467
00:21:32,088 --> 00:21:34,289
Moseby: You know,
468
00:21:34,361 --> 00:21:37,430
One of the lives she
saved was yours.
469
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:39,171
Oh, yeah.
470
00:21:39,242 --> 00:21:41,910
Yay you!
471
00:21:43,319 --> 00:21:47,222
London, you've
never yayed anyone but yourself.
472
00:21:47,296 --> 00:21:50,732
You're right.
Yay me!
473
00:21:54,282 --> 00:21:56,182
Patrick?
Hmm?
474
00:21:56,254 --> 00:21:59,390
The moroccan theme
is over. Why are you still wearing this?
475
00:21:59,462 --> 00:22:02,364
Frankly, I find
these puffy pants to be
476
00:22:02,437 --> 00:22:03,804
Delightfully roomy.
477
00:22:03,875 --> 00:22:05,475
Ahh.
478
00:22:05,545 --> 00:22:07,780
I think I'm
going to wear them to work every day,
479
00:22:07,851 --> 00:22:09,919
Stand in the middle
of the restaurant,
480
00:22:09,991 --> 00:22:12,793
Where everyone
can see them a-blowing in the breeze.
481
00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:15,067
[softly]
oh. No, no, no. Stop.
482
00:22:15,138 --> 00:22:16,272
[chuckles nervously]
483
00:22:16,342 --> 00:22:17,609
Patrick?
Hmm?
484
00:22:17,678 --> 00:22:19,546
Right. What if I get
you a new podium? And a raise.
485
00:22:19,617 --> 00:22:20,984
Not gonna happen.
486
00:22:21,054 --> 00:22:22,788
I'm prepared
to quit.
487
00:22:22,859 --> 00:22:24,526
I'm prepared to
replace you. A podium it is.
488
00:22:24,576 --> 00:22:29,126
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