Original subtitles

Ve got a suite life ♪

So, make sure you check the bulletin board

For your new assignments.

Now, item number 11.

Pool towels are for the guests only.

They're not to be worn as capes.

It makes me look like I'm moving faster!

Look out! I'm super-janitor!

Whoosh!

Ah!

[chuckles]

Yeah, and I have to refold them.

You know, it's not as easy as it looks.

Moving on.

Item number 12. Employee of the month.

[all groaning] not again.

Oh, I realize this is not a coveted honor,

Although as an 87-time winner, I fail to see why.

Hey! What's everybody doing?

Eew. Talking about work.

Anyway, this month's employee of the month

Will receive an all-expense-paid trip

To the tipton of their choice.

Yes. Anywhere in the world.

So, get to work.

[excited chatter]

[clears throat]

I'd have moved that fast, too,

If I still had my cape.

Hey, mom, how you feeling?

Well, I...

Was watching that.

Mom, you're burning up.

I know. I called the hotel doctor,

But I don't think he'll be here until--

[knock on door] hotel doctor!

Mom, door!

Oh, I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me.

Cody, door!

Wow. You got here fast.

This is my very first call ever, so I ran!

I'm dr. Chip walters.

Ah-choo!

So, who's the patient?

That would be me.

The woman lying in bed sneezing her guts out.

Actually, you can't really sneeze your guts out.

I wrote a paper on it.

What grade did you get?

That's not important.

So, dr. Walters-- call me chip!

I'd rather not.

Have you ever used that stethoscope before?

No. My mom gave it to me for graduation.

It's engraved.

"congratulations, chippy. Go get 'em."

Ah-choo!

Eew! You're getting it all boogery.

Ok. Sit forward.

Deep breaths.

The symptoms seem to be low-grade fever,

Mucus buildup, and lethargy.

I'm thinking it's your basic flu.

Wow. What school did you go to?

Bauchner middle school.

I recommend... Bed rest and fluids?

So, um, do you have anyone to take care of you

Till you're feeling better?

Yes. Two loving children.

Cody, you go get mom some tea.

And I'll take a pudding.

What are you doing?

I'm converting this maid's cart into a mobile candy counter.

That way, I can take candy to the guests.

Oh, impressive!

Where'd you get the maid's cart?

[groaning]

Online.

Oh, mr. Moseby. I have increased my luggage carrying ability

To 8 bags. Oh, excellent.

Oh, no. Ok, I got it. Yeah, I got it.

No, I--oh, adios.

Maddie. I really need your help,

And I won't take no for an answer.

Ok, I tried. No.

Esteban, can you help me?

Of course...

...Not.

[groans]

Hey, norman!

Um, I just booked a huge banquet,

Which will bring the tipton a huge amount of money.

And why? Well, because I enjoy that wonderful feeling you get

When you know you're doing your job

Better than anyone else in the hotel.

Sometimes I-- oh, mr. Moseby!

I didn't see you standing there.

Ha ha ha! Oh, what a huge embarrassment.

Aaaahhhh!

I fixed it.

What did you fix?

Everything!

[glass crashing and breaking]

Except that.

Oh, lance, why are you carrying bags of goldfish?

I read about this hotel where guests can swim with dolphins.

So I went to the pet store,

But they had just sold their last dolphin.

So I got these,

So our guests can swim with the goldfish.

I'm gonna train little flipper

To jump through a hoop.

Good luck with that.

I want all of you to get back to work.

I just wish I could get back to my feet.

Ah! Oh, buenas noches.

Here, mom. I made you some chicken soup.

Mm, thanks, you are so--

Uh, uh, uh. Keep the thermometer under your tongue,

Or we'll have to do it the other way.

Now, you'll notice I marked your cup

With a little skull and crossbones.

It's so that one of us doesn't drink it

After your diseased lips touch it.

So, how you feeling?

A little better.

Well, that's weird, 'cause you look awful.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh what?

Your temperature is higher than zack's I.Q.!

Hey. I want to wear those board shorts

For the new skate park tomorrow.

So be a good little housewife

And finish up the laundry.

Look, just because a man cooks and cleans

Doesn't mean he can't be macho and tough.

Hey, you're drinking out of mom's sickie cup.

[high-pitched scream]

[whimpering and sputtering]

Yeah, that's macho and tough.

Whatcha doin'?

Oh, I'm equipping this exterior portal

With an infrared trigger device,

Thus enabling it to open automatically

Without the need for human interface.

Whatcha doin'?

Stuff!

Well, stop, 'cause I need you to help me.

Oh, I can't, I'm working.

That's all the employees do around here is work, work, work.

Call us wacky.

Hard candy?

I've got deals on wheels.

Oh, lance, I need your help!

I'll save you!

Get off of me! I am not drowning!

Well, not now.

'cause I saved you.

Mr. Moseby? Mr. Moseby,

I have our new dessert selections for your approval.

May I recommend the creme de moseby?

Uh...Not till I show him the door.

Oh, I'd like to show all of you the door.

No, no, no. It's a new automatic door.

See, you walk up to it and it opens...

"automatically."

I don't have time for this.

Oh, my word.

Oh, I am exhausted from that red-eye flight--

What a wonderful hotel!

Arwin! This invention has really bowled me over.

[chuckling]

Oh! Waah!

No, no, no! No, no, no, no!

Yes.

Whoo! Ha ha! Wow.

That was close.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Mr. Mose--

Mr...

[whimpering]

Whoo-hoo.

You did this on purpose!

Saboteur!

Do not blame me. The devil-door opened by itself!

Doors don't hurt people.

People hurt people.

Doors without doormen hurt people.

I would never do anything to sabotage another employee.

Never, never, never, never!

Hey!

Augh! I'm a mess! People, I need help!

I'll save you!

Yep.

He's sick!

Wow, you're good.

[cell phone rings]

Dr. Chip walters.

Hi, mommy!

I'm with a patient!

No, really.

Mom wants a picture.

Say measles!

Ok, guys. Feel better.

No, I'm not gonna ask if she's single.

Her kids are, like...

My age.

Hey, how y'all doin'? Good to hear it.

If you need me, I'll be at the skate park.

Today's the grand opening and tony hawk'll be there

Signing bandages!

We need you!

Aww. I need you, too. See ya!

Zack!

You know what I meant.

Oh, let him go.

He's completely useless.

We'd be better off having a monkey with a handkerchief.

Good point. See ya!

Mom: Honey, I'm sorry.

You're gonna have to skip the skate park

And stay here to take care of us.

That's what families do.

Yeah, close families.

Which we are?

Ok. What do you want me to do first?

Could you hand me the television remote?

I think it's underneath the bed.

Hey, what's this button do?

I hope dr. Chip knows a good chiropractor.

Hi, honey.

Hi.

All right, here we go.

200 single-ply tissues.

I wanted 2-ply.

Well, glue 'em together.

Ow!

Sorry. Oh, hey! Here, take 2 of these.

[thud] ow!

Sorry.

Oh, hey, I think I've got an ice pack in here somewhere.

That's ok!

Honey, just walk the stuff in to him.

Well, it's not my fault all he can catch is a cold.

You have the cough syrup?

[coughing]

Here you go.

This is maple syrup.

Oh, yeah. See, I was hoping if you were feeling better,

You'd whip us up some pancakes.

Did you remember my frozen fruit bars?

Yes.

So can I have one?

No.

I ate them all on the bus.

But on the bright side,

We won't run out of tongue depressors.

See? Ahh!

Maddie? I really need your help.

I can't. I'm trying to win employee of the month.

But I just need one little thing. Why can't--

I am trying to win a trip here!

Do you know when my last vacation was?

Never! Now back away, woman!

But I just need one--

Back away.

There's nothing I won't do to win this vacation.

[whimpers]

Maddie. I know it was you

Who let 30 cats loose in my restaurant

On sushi Sunday!

Oh, face it, candy crusher!

You can't beat me and my roving cart!

Ha ha!

Oh, yeah!

How could you!

I didn't! Oh, but I wish I had. Ha ha ha ha!

Well, if you didn't, then who did?

[snorting laughter]

Irene?!

Oh, it's always the quiet ones.

Arwin?

What are you up to?

I'm gonna automate the revolving doors.

Oh, yeah, because last time it went so well.

Ok.

Who made my blowtorch blow bubbles?

[laughing]

Good one, norman.

Unh!

[braying laugh]

Oh, so you think that is funny, mr. "automatically"?

Not as funny as that.

All right... Who filled the pool with grape juice?

That wasn't very nice.

If that's not nice, what about this?

[all arguing]

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

I'd like to check in.

[all continue arguing]

I will take care of you right away, madam.

And I will take care of all of you later!

Oh!

I don't even want to know.

[bell ringing] zack!

Zaaackkk!

Yes?

May I please have some more tea?

[kazoo] just a minute, cody!

I'll get your tea in a sec.

Oh, and zack?

Yes...Mother?

Don't forget the honey, honey.

Oh, yeah, that one never gets old.

[kazoo tooting]

Yes, cody?

Do you think you could get me some juice?

Well, probably, considering I've done it 12 times today!

[bell rings] zack, where's my tea

With honey, honey?!

Coming, mother!

[kazoo tooting]

What? Don't forget the bendy straw.

Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.

[bell rings]

I'll get your tea as soon as I get cody some juice.

[kazoo] what?

No pulp!

No problem!

You want pulp?

I'm fine.

Oh, thank you, honey. This toast looks just right.

Well, third time's the charm.

Sorry we kept you up all night with our coughing.

Oh, it's ok. I had to get up to refill the vaporizer anyway.

Every...20...Minutes.

Here you go, cody.

I think I'm getting my appetite back.

It's gone again.

Now what's wrong? I am not remaking these eggs.

I have laundry to do and coupons to clip.

I wanted my eggs scrambled.

You want them scrambled? No problem.

I'll scramble them for you.

There!

What about your toast? Would you like that scrambled, too?

Now you're gonna have to clean this up.

I don't think so.

I'm through with cooking.

And cleaning. And gluing tissues together

Because some people don't like single-ply.

Well, you're lucky you got any ply.

You know what? I want my life back.

I want to skate-board.

I want to feel the wind in my face and the sun on my cheeks.

I want to hear old people yelling at me to get off the sidewalk.

Honey-- get your own dang honey.

No, I mean, sweetie.

We really appreciate everything you've done for us.

Well, you didn't have to eat those terrible eggs.

Don't help.

I know exactly how you feel.

Oh, yeah? How?

Well, because I'm usually the one

Who's doing all the shopping

And the cooking and the cleaning

And the laundry and the nose-wiping--

Yeah, but that's your job.

Kinda?

Yes, it is my job.

And I love it, no matter how difficult it can be,

As you now know.

Yeah, it's a pretty tough job.

You know, I never really realized it before.

I'm sorry. And from now on,

When you're doing all this stuff

And I'm doing nothing,

I'm gonna really appreciate it.

That's...A start.

Honey, since you've done such a great job,

Why don't you take a break and go down to the skate park?

Are you sure?

Absolutely.

Because I'd be more than happy to, you know,

Get you some tea and maybe run and get you some lozenges--

Toss me my helmet?

Make you some chicken soup--

No thanks, honey, we're fine.

Have fun.

I'll try.

Want me to make us some eggs florentine?

And some pancakes.

We've got loads of syrup.

I have gathered you here

So that we can get this whole employee of the month thing

Out of the way.

Dude, it's only been a week.

Yes, I know, dude.

But in another 3, we'll be out of business.

And that is why I've decided to cancel it.

What? What?

You can't do that!

O great one.

But we've all worked so hard.

Especially me.

It's not fair.

I fixed everything.

[glass falling and breaking]

Except that.

Come on, you have to pick a winner.

Oh, preferably a blond one.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, mr. Moseby!

Fine, fine, fine!

If I pick a winner, will you all shut up?

All: Yes! Sir!

All right. The winner of the employee of the month is...

Carey martin!

All: What?!

[all talking at once]

But she hasn't done anything!

But she's been in bed sick all week.

Exactly. She is the only one of you

Who hasn't annoyed any of the guests.

And more importantly, me.

Carey!

Huh?

You are employee of the month!

Can my prize be this box of tissues?

Yes!

Ok.

[all chattering]

Great. Now I'm not gonna get a vacation.

Hi, guys! It's little me, back from paree.

Oh, don't rub it in. Paris is where I wanted to go.

Well, you could have.

That's what I wanted help with.

I needed somebody to keep me company on my shopping spree in paris.

But you were all too busy "working."

Oh, that's wrong! Where are you going?

And you're probably all too busy to go to rio with me, too.

[all screaming] oh, no!

[excited chattering]

Wait a minute.

I'm not sure

What the maximum load on this thing is.

[bell rings]

Aah! Aah! Aah!

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