Original subtitles

That was amazing.

How did you hit 10 free throws in a row?

New system.

I realized if I picture myself in a happy place,

All the pressure goes away.

So where is your happy place?

Can't say. You might show up.

Yo, arwin. I didn't know you ran.

Yeah. Just ran 5 miles. I feel great.

Who put the floor here?

Are you ok?

Yes, mother.

Maybe you should take it easy.

No, I can't. I'm getting in shape

For the annual hotel engineers games.

And this year,

I'm gonna win the golden plunger

And finally beat irv wheldon.

That's what you think.

Hello, wheldon.

Hello, hawkhouser.

I just came by to wish you luck.

Really?

No. 'cause you're a loser.

Am not.

Are too. Not.

Too. Duhh!

Will both of you st--

See you at the games, hawk-loser.

You can take that guy, arwin.

Maybe not in a doughnut-eating contest, but...

You're right. This year I'm gonna be stronger, smarter,

And have the quickness of a jungle cat. [hisses]

Watch it.

Don't touch. Don't touch. I got it. See?

Jungle cat.

Good thing there's no luggage in the jungle.

♪here I am in your life ♪

♪here you are in mine ♪

♪yes, we have a suite life ♪

♪most of the time ♪

♪you and me, we got the world to see ♪

♪so come on down ♪

♪just me and you know what to do ♪

♪so come on down ♪

♪it's you and me and me and you ♪

♪we got the whole place to ourselves ♪

♪you and me, we got it all for free ♪

♪so come on down ♪

♪this is the suite life ♪

♪we've got a suite life ♪

Captioning made possible by abc cacable networks group

Mr. Moseby, I know you're a busy man, so I'll make this quick.

I'd like a raise.

I'll make it quicker. No.

Can't we talk about it?

We just did.

Oh, moseby, did daddy ok me opening up my boutique

Here at the tipton?

He sent a fax,

And I'm afraid he's less than enthusiastic.

Are you sure? Well, what exactly did he say?

I don't understand.

N-o.

That spells "no."

Oh! But why not?

Every time you start a project, you tend to quit.

Name one.

There was the time you wanted to be an equestrian,

So your father bought you a stable full of horses.

You walked in then walked right out.

It smelled like horseys.

The time you wanted to be a dancer,

So we bought you that russian ballet teacher.

The horseys smelled better.

There was the time that you wanted to be an ice skater.

Let me guess. He bought you an ice rink.

He bought her iceland.

Ok. So I quit a few things.

But this time it's different.

I'm afraid your father is not gonna pay for the latest whim.

But I don't want a whim. I want a store.

London, you're gonna have to pay for it yourself.

Fine. I'll use the $10 grandma gave me for my birthday.

London, $10 is not enough to open up a store.

I know.

But the $10 was wrapped around a diamond

The size of a potato.

And I'm gonna use my potato diamond to open up my business.

Good luck with that.

Done.

A minute and 10 seconds.

Oh! I'll never beat irv.

I'm such a loser.

Loser! Loser! Loser!

You got to be more positive. Try this.

Winner! Winner! Winner!

That doesn't work so well either.

Well, I've got a great technique to keep from getting nervous.

Think of a happy place,

The pressure will just melt away.

Well, thanks. But no matter how happy the place,

It'll never be me up on that winner's podium

Accepting the golden plunger

And a kiss from the plunger girl.

Come on, guys. Time to get home.

Can't we stay a little longer, mom?

I'm sorry. But I've got to get upstairs and work on this stupid song.

The tipton's hosting some kind of geek games.

Moseby's making me sing at the opening ceremonies

And hand out the golden plunger.

You're the plun--plun-- plun--plun--plun--

Plunger girl?

Wheldon's going down.

Can someone maybe give me a hand?

Nobody else is in here.

London, how's it going?

It's going to be fabby.

I'm gonna put purses over here

And matching belts over there.

And do you have a business plan?

Weren't you listening?

I'm gonna put purses over here and matching belts over there.

No, no, no. He's talking about financial planning.

Ordering stock, taking inventory.

I said I'm putting purses over here

And matching belts over there.

I know where you're putting the purses.

I'm sorry.

It's just that it takes a little more

Than just putting things on shelves to run a store.

He's right. Take the candy counter.

It's not just nougats and nuts, you know.

Hey, that was kind of funny to say.

Nougats and nuts. Nougats and nuts. Nougats and nuts.

Nougats and nuts. Nougats and nuts. Ok, that's enough.

Well, hey, why don't you come work here

And do your business-type stuff for me?

I already have a job.

Which you're not doing right now.

I'll pay you double.

And now I have a new job.

Sorry, mr. Moseby.

I'm moving on to bigger and better things.

I bet you regret not giving me that raise now.

Ah. Oh, no.

Where will I find another teenager

Looking for employment at a 5-star hotel?

I know. I'll just yell out the door.

♪when the toilet won't flush ♪

♪we'll be there with the snake ♪

♪right after our mandated union break ♪

♪if the room's too hot or the drain's not clear ♪

♪just shout for a hotel engineer ♪

The name's wheldon.

Irv wheldon.

And I like to be shaken, not stirred.

Ooh, that wheldon is as smooth as porcelain.

You're gonna be fine, arwin.

The first event is in 10 minutes.

Have you found your happy place to think about?

Well, actually, at first,

It was me and mother on a lovely tropical cruise.

But then a storm hit, and the waves were huge.

And then her wheelchair rolled off the side

And I yelled, "mother, throw me the house keys!"

Ok.

How about thinking about a nice cookie?

Ooh, that'll work.

Gentlemen, it's time to start our first event.

The toolbox dash.

So take it away, plunger girl.

Oh, I'm not taking anything anywhere.

All right, first one down to the fire hydrant and back

Th tir toolbox wins.

Ok, arwin, thinking of your cookie?

Oh, yeah. It's got chocolate chips and walnuts.

On your mark, get set, go.

I even added sprinkles.

Just go.

What? Oh!

What time's lunch?

At 12:30.

Think I'll have some soup.

It's lentil.

Uch better than the bisque.

I am the winner!

All right!

Enjoy it now, hawk-loser,

Because when the games are over,

It'll be me getting that golden plunger

And a kiss from yonder fair-haired beauty.

Don't you call our mom a "fair-haired beauty."

Yeah. You should see her in the morning.

There ain't nothing beautiful about it.

Done!

In your face, wheldon.

Is it, hawkhouser?

Turn it on.

Oh!

Isn't it supposed to blow out?

Maybe you should change your name from ar-win

To ar-lose.

What happened?

I don't know. I could've sworn--

Wait a minute.

This is a cunningham 200 on/off switch.

I could have sworn I used a fonzarelli 22.

A bonehead mistake.

[whirring]

I deserve to lose.

Hey, plunger girl.

I can't wait for our lips to meet.

I just...I just threw up a little bit.

Boy, you know, it sure isn't like arwin

To make a mistake like that.

Yeah.

Isn't it weird how irv seemed to know it wouldn't work?

What do you mean?

The fonz this means?

I will as soon as you tell me.

It means irv's cheating.

Look.

"property of arwin."

We can't let irv steal the golden plunger,

And we definitely can't let him kiss mom.

Both: Ugh!

So have we sold anything yet?

Yes. 4 items.

Ooh. That's not bad.

Considering we sold them to you

And you used your employer 100% discount on all of them,

It ain't good.

This store is a total failure.

What are you doing wrong, maddie?

Working for you.

London, customers. Ok, be cool.

Act like we've done this before.

Gotcha.

Hello, ladies. Welcome to london's,

A fabulous fashion boutique.

Can I help you with something?

We're just looking. Thank you.

Oh, that is not for you.

Excuse me?

Those dresses are made for women

With an hourglass figure.

You're shaped like a pumpkin.

And you're more like a butternut squash.

Oh!

Oh!

I have never in my life...

I happen to love butternut squash.

I love all the winter vegetables.

Something stinks.

No comment.

I wonder what irv was doing in there.

Look.

Irv put diagrams on the toilet paper.

That's silly.

Everyone knows how to use toilet paper.

No. It's a cheat sheet

On how to put the auto flush back together.

We got to go tell the judges.

No. It'll just be our word against his.

Then we have to catch irv in the act.

You don't mean...

No. Cheating.

[whistling]

Oh, mr. Moseby,

Are you going to watch the competition?

Oh. That's it. Competition.

Wouldn't miss it for the world.

Thanks for coming. Mm.

It just really means a lot to me.

Ok, can we get this started? Where's carey?

I'm not coming in there, and you can't make me.

On your mark, get set, go.

I wish I could.

[flushing]

I am flush with victory.

[flushing]

Drats. Number 2 again.

Ok, let's clear out the bathroom

And move on to our next venue. Quickly.

Arwin, you only lost because irv cheated.

What are you talking about?

He would never cheat. He took the maintenance engineers oath.

We can prove it.

I don't know what you guys are talking about.

You see? He had the schematics here the whole time.

They were here.

He must have flushed them.

The only thing that got flushed

Was arwin's chance of winning.

♪all right ♪

Look, boys, I know it's hard to face,

But the better man flushed first.

I don't care if no one believes us.

We have to stop irv before he cheats again.

Hello. Anyone out there?

I seem to be out of paper.

Oh! Ah!

London? Why aren't you in your store

Turning the fashion world on its ear?

Because I quit.

I guess daddy was right. I am a giver-upper.

I wanted to do all those things,

But they became so hard.

Well, most things worth getting require hard work.

Which is an experience, shall I say,

You have been deprived of.

How so?

Whenever you want something,

You just call daddy and he gets it for you.

It's not as easy as it looks.

Daddy has a lot of different phone numbers.

Well, your sore dialing finger aside,

There may come a time in life

When you want something that daddy can't get you

And you're gonna have to work hard for it.

I did work.

2 and a half days doesn't count.

Actually, it was a day and a half.

I took yesterday off to get a facial.

Pores were getting huge.

You know, london,

I understood why you gave up in the past.

But I always thought that fashion was something that was close to your heart.

Certainly something you were good at.

I really thought you were gonna give this a go.

Oh, well.

Ing to tell your father you're quitting

Or shall I?

Congratulations. You are our 2 finalists.

Ok, thank you.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Whoever wins this pentathlon

Will walk away with the golden plunger.

There's an accomplishment.

Don't worry, arwin. Victory is in the bag.

What bag? Where?

I want that bag.

Is it too late to bet on irv?

Each of you must change a light bulb in a hallway,

Fix the central vacuuming system, unclog a sink,

Patch a hole, and repair an elevator. Go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened to "on your mark"?

Just go.

What's going on here?

Why are you packing up all the clothes?

Because you quit.

Quit?

I don't know the meaning of the word "quit."

Wouldn't it just be easier

If you tell me the words you do know the meaning of?

Maddie, I took your original ad and put it out there.

It's a little too late for that.

On daddy's blimp.

Soon this place will be flooded with people.

I knew you weren't a giver-upper.

You're the best.

Ooh. Plenty customers. Don't talk to them.

So is arwin still in the lead?

No. He beat irv at changing the light bulb,

Flew by him while fixing the vacuum system,

But arwin hit a snag at the clogged sink.

What happened?

Well, it was another one of irv's dirty tricks.

Arwin's plunger broke,

And he had to suck out the clog with his mouth.

Ok, if arwin wins that kiss from mom,

Don't tell her that.

You'll never catch up to me now, hawkhouser.

My kiss is just 20 floors away.

And it's not getting any closer.

Irv: Hey. Who stopped the elevator?

Who turned out the lights?

I'm scared.

We sure showed irv.

Ahh!

What are you doing?

Both: Nothing.

Are you guys cheating to help me win?

Irv's the one cheating.

He's been cheating all along.

We're just trying to even the playing field.

It doesn't matter. A hawkhouser never cheats.

Except for mother on her diets.

Arwin, hurry.

Boys.

I'd rather come in second fairly

.

Oh. So you're just gonna let irv kiss mom.

Ha-ha!

Next stop, carey's...

Lipssss!

Get ready for the kiss of a lifetime.

Hu!

What a hot dog.

Well, you are what you eat.

Oh.

Hoi!

All: Ooh!

What happened?

It doesn't matter. Just finish the race.

Both: What happened?

He lost because he cheated,

And cheaters never win.

We're sorry we interfered, arwin.

You interfered?

Yeah. We'll never cheat for you again.

You mean you'll never cheat at all again.

I know. Cheaters never win.

Don't be too hard on the boys.

They were just trying to help.

Besides, because of them, I have never felt more confident.

Job well done, arwin.

Congratulations, arwin. You win the golden plunger.

Wow. Arwin, I kissed you and you didn't faint.

Yep, and I feel great.

Uh-oh.

What a fabulous day.

How much did we make?

Take a look.

Wow! That's a lot.

Wait, wait, wait.

I haven't deducted our business expenses.

How much was the gas for the blimp?

Way more than we made.

So after all that work, we lost money.

But I cathat's right. And we're I didn'tgonna be a huge success

Because we make a great team.

By the way, I can't pay you this week.

See ya.

Where are you going?

To get my old job back.

Quitter.

Quitter, quitter,

Pants don't fit her.

[sniffles] I thought so.

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