All language subtitles for The Suite Life of Zack and Cody s02e11 Twins At The Tipton

Hi, I'm Dylan Sprouts, and you're
watching Disney Channel.

The Tipton welcomes Quinn?

Well, well, well.

Nice to see we're finally being
appreciated around here.

What would really make us feel welcome
is unlimited movies and dessert.

Ooh, and a room with a hot tub wouldn't
be bad either.

You know what would be better?

You two moving to Guatemala.

We happen to be having a twin convention
this weekend, and I expect you to make

yourselves scarce.

But we're twins.

You can't keep us from our peeps.

Wow.

So this is what we look like to other
people.

It's kind of creepy.

You have no idea.

Ooh, look at that cute girl over there.

Ooh, and there she is again.

One for each of us.

I already have a girl.

My beautiful Irma.

Your beautiful Irma happens to have more
hair on her upper lip than you do.

It's an unfortunate series of moles.

No, it's hair. Mold. Hair. Mold. Hair.
Mold. Hairy mold.

I

landed on

my A.

What do you think of this outfit? Does
this shirt go with these pants? Who am I

kidding? This doesn't match. I have to
change. Thanks, Mom.

I'm here to help.

What a loser.

Say what you want, Zach, but one of you
has a date tonight while the other one

is watching World's Funniest Truck
Collision.

Hello?

World's Funniest?

Mom?

World's Funniest until I saw that.

I can't decide what to wear.

Well, here's a thought.

How about some pants?

Come on.

Oh,

gold. Yeah.

Come in.

I love visiting you guys. The doorman
always calls me sir.

I hope you don't mind, but I'll still
call you sir doofus.

Oh, I'm about to make fun of Cody before
his date, and it's always nice to have

backup. Actually, I'm here because Cody
doesn't have a date.

Irma postponed it. So when?

Well, when I say postponed, I mean
dumped.

She dumped him?

Oh, man, this is going to crush him.

Let me handle this. This has got to be
done very gently.

Hey, Cody, welcome to the club.

What club?

The guys who aren't dating Irma Club.

That's your idea of gentle?

Hey, I didn't kick him.

You're lying.

I got it directly from the source. Irma
told Cam, who told Phil, who told

Ashley, who told Brenda, who told Dylan,
who told Cole, who told me.

It's over.

But why?

What happened?

She got back together with her camp
boyfriend.

No.

Not Joaquin.

The one with the 12 -speed bike and the
puka shell necklace.

It's horrible.

Okay. Buddy, this was a tough break, but
there are lots of fish in the sea.

I don't want a fish.

I want Irma.

Come on.

With whiskers like those, she looks like
a catfish.

Mosey, something's wrong.

double. We're having a twin convention.

Everyone here is a twin, like Zack and
Cody.

Zack and Cody are twins?

Since when?

Oh, about six months ago.

We should tell them about the
convention.

Sorry, excuse me.

Sorry, excuse me.

Okay, you go right, I'll go left.

Which way's my right?

I write with my right hand.

This one, this one.

You two are the perfect couple.

I'm London, like the city. I'm Kirk,
like the captain.

Well, captain.

I'd love to sing and talk, but I have to
have a facial for my face.

Faith, feel free to watch me leave.

This hotel is boring. Yeah.

Hey, damn!

What?

Who do those guys remind me of?

Got me.

Excuse me, please. I'm Jessica.

Have you by any chance seen someone who
looks exactly like me?

Yeah.

Last night.

In my dreams.

Last night I dreamt that I was being
devoured by ferocious hamsters.

Turns out it was just my little brother
nibbling on my toes.

Okay, ciao.

I just met him.

Excuse me, can I get a chocolate bar,
please?

You can have anything you want.

I want a chocolate bar, please.

You're a man with a purpose.

I like that.

So, are you a twin?

Yeah, are you?

No, my parents are old -fashioned. They
like to make them one at a time.

How about I show you one of Boston's
most elegant restaurants?

Ever had a seven -meat pizza?

More intriguing.

Or disgusting.

It's both.

So, how about it?

Thanks, but I don't go anywhere without
my sister Janice.

No problem.

I'll take my vitamins.

I meant, could you bring your brother?

That's another way to go.

So, do you think your brother would be
into it?

Oh! Yeah, definitely.

He's a party animal.

Nonstop fun.

So, did you want to take a break?

No.

Cleaning helps me forget about... Irma.

Well, in that case, bathroom's the best.

Dude, good news. I got you a date. With
Irma? No, bitch.

us up with gorgeous English twins.

We're going on a date tomorrow night.

No. But come on, this is the best thing
that's happened. It's too soon to start

dating again.

It's been a whole hour.

How much time do you need?

Tell him he's done with the bathroom.

Come on, do it for me.

No. And because you're going to ask
again?

No. Again.

Zach, I think you're being very
insensitive to your brother's feelings.

You shouldn't use them for your own
selfish agenda.

Don't forget to breathe so, Connie.

What are you looking for?

Not a what. A who.

A hot who.

You meant a hot who? How? Here.

I meant a hot who, too.

Oh, there he is!

That's your Q guy?

That's my Q guy!

Tell her!

Wow. Did you guys rehearse?

No.

Tell Maddie you came over here to ask me
out.

Actually, I just came for another
chocolate bar.

But if you two want to go out, I could
ask my twin brother.

That could work.

Oh, you guys will love Dirk. He's smart.

Oh, I'll take him. I'll get him.

This worked out great.

Yeah, there's a good -looking smart one
for me and a good -looking other one for

you.

There he is.

He is a funny looking guy.

Thanks.

We're fraternal twins.

No, you're not. You don't look anything
alike.

That's what fraternal means.

He is a smart one.

I just polished that table.

Whoa!

Oh, and I waxed the floor.

Dude, look at you.

The suite is clean, but you're a mess.

You need to get back out there.

But you might want to take off the apron
first.

I told you I'm not ready.

I understand.

Only time can mend a broken heart.

Thank you. You got five minutes. Because
that's when Jessica and Janice are

going to be here for our date. What part
of not going don't you understand?

The not part.

Dude, they're twins.

Gorgeous twins.

On vacation.

What they do in Boston stays in Boston.

I can't cheat on Irma.

She's cheating on you.

You gonna stay here scrubbing while
she's twirling Joaquin's puka shells?

I don't know.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe? These girls have British accents.

Even when they dump you, it'll sound
great.

Which they won't because you were once a
terrific guy.

Okay.

Okay, I think I can do this.

Atta boy. You're the bounce back kid.
I'm the bounce back kid. And you're

out tonight. I'm going out. And you're
gonna have fun. I'm gonna have fun!

That's the girls.

Irma used to knock just like that.

Irma!

Wow. This time he didn't even make it to
the couch.

This double date is gonna be so much
fun. Patrick always gives me a great

Table for four, please.

Oh, I see why Patrick drives a foreign
sports car.

Mosby, where's Patrick?

He crashed his foreign sports car.

Why isn't Rich filling in for him? Rich
is the one he crashed into.

What about Gary? Gary got hit by the
ambulance. This way.

This isn't fair.

Why do I get to goof his twin? You
picked him before I saw him. He's not

bad. His shirt was sticking out of his
fly.

Maybe that's the style. Yeah,

yeah.

Aren't you the one who always says you
can't judge a book by its cover?

Yeah, yeah.

Aren't you the one who always says if
you look down deep, you can always find

something nice about someone? Yeah,
yeah.

Aren't you the one who always says...
Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm the one.

Hey, girls. You look great.

Thanks!

Wow, you are really good at that.

So Kirk and I sit here, and you guys sit
way over there.

So, Dirk, do you have any hobbies?

Taxidermy. I like to stuff dead things.

Who doesn't?

I also read medical journals.

Did you know that 80 hairs fall out of
your head every day?

Um, can we not talk about hair?

Unless it's mine.

Sure, we can talk about skin.

Did you know that the dust under your
bed is mostly dead skin?

Okay, he's hungry.

So, Kirk, do you see anything you like?

Oh, definitely.

The steak is really great here.

Did you know that it takes three hours
for meat to move through your intestines

so the bile can churn up the gastric
acid?

I think I'll have a salad.

Didn't you know?

Don't care.

We take each other's places all the
time. All the time. I remember when...

yes, that was brilliant.

Oh, and what about the time... And the
parents? That was the best.

You know, we've had some wild times,
too, haven't we, Coaster?

No.

Your brother seems a tad depressed.

More like a smidge. Even more like a
smidge. But still sad.

Oh, yes, definitely sad.

Oh, he's not sad.

Are you, Cody?

No, no, I'm fine.

Never been better.

Cheese stick.

You know, Cody, it's not good to keep
things bottled up. Not good at all.

Bad, really. Really bad.

Oh, not really.

Okay, Cody, tell us. Yeah, do tell.

No, I don't want to bring anyone down.
Good thinking. It's Irma. Way to hold

out.

Who's Irma?

His gerbil. She went to the big squeaky
wheel in the sky.

How sad.

Really sad.

Well, I'm going to run to the loo. And
when I get back, you better be happy.

I'm not even thinking of Bermal.

You could always get another gerbil.

But this time I'd get two, just in case.

Bermal was my girlfriend.

You were dating a gerbil?

Well, to each his own.

Strange country, America.

No, she was a person.

Zach just said she was a gerbil because
he didn't want me to ruin his date.

She just broke up with me yesterday.

Yesterday? You poor thing.

You poor, poor thing.

After I broke up with Troy, I wept for a
month. I told you not to go out with an

older man.

He was 13 and a half.

You went out with Ronald and he was 14?

Yes, but he was short for his age.

Hi, Miss Irma. Hi, Miss Troy.

Hope you gentlemen are enjoying your
steak.

We're not having steak. No, we're having
seafood.

Seafood? Yeah, seafood.

Oh,

this pasta's fantastic.

Oh, try some of mine.

No thanks, I don't feel like sharing.

How was your offering?

Oh, but you can have my baked potato.

Well, don't you want any?

Nah, I feel like I can still taste the
fertilizer.

Did you know it takes six bags of cow
manure to grow one bag of potatoes?

Can we please talk about something that
doesn't make me, I don't know, gag?

Actually, gagging is good. It heaves up
old mucus that's just caked with

bacteria.

Hunting, I have a word with you, please.

This is the worst... This is the worst
date of my life. I'm leaving.

You can't. He's not that bad.

He scratched his back with a fork.

And then he used it.

You guys are talking about me, aren't
you?

No.

Actually, she was hoping you'd follow
her out.

See, Maddie?

It worked.

Toodles.

Look, Dirk. You don't have to say it.

I know this has been a lousy dinner for
you. I mean, I'm no Kirk.

I'm not handsome.

I'm not charming. I'm not funny.

Feel free to disagree.

Hey, that was kind of funny.

So you think there's hope for me?

Of course.

Look, you're obviously smart.

And you know more about bodily
secretions than any boy I have ever met.

Someday, you're going to make a great
doctor.

Oh, I don't want to be a doctor.

I want to be a male model.

Really? Gotcha.

See? That's a bad one to loosen up.

Thanks, Maddie.

You're awesome.

I know.

Look.

There's this girl I met tonight that I'd
really like a second chance with.

Think she might be interested?

She might be.

Great, because I'm nuts about London.
Can you distract Kirk so I can ask her

out?

I think she's really hot, and I like
them dumb and rich.

Well, I know London likes them rude and
soggy.

You're soaking wet.

Daddy, why'd you do that?

He wanted me to help him land another
girl. What a jerk.

Yeah, it was you.

Well, at least he's got good teeth.

There's a sweetie crying on my shoulder.

He's crying on my shoulder.

He has two eyes, doesn't he?

So... Who's up for some video games?

How can you play video games when your
father's in pain?

Cody needs comforting. We're here for
him.

We think it's wonderful to see a boy who
expresses his emotions.

Only a real man is not afraid to cry.

Well, I'm not afraid to cry. I cry at
puppies and rainbows.

Oh, and I watch the women's channel all
the time.

When Rachel broke up with Guillermo for
the one -legged tennis player.

I blubbered like a baby.

Poor Guillermo.

I need a moment.

Come on, Cody. Why don't we go to the
cinema?

Our treat.

Well, it might help me forget.

I'm sorry your date was ruined, but you
got what you deserved.

Is there no shoulder for me to cry on?

You pushed your brother to go out before
he was ready just so you could have

fun. Honey, it's going to be a long time
before he's comfortable around girls.

I had a wonderful time, ladies.

Don't forget, see you tomorrow for
breakfast, teens.

Can't thank you enough. If you hadn't
told me to get back out there, I'd be

sitting here alone and so depressed.