Original subtitles

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

That's my boy.

Everything packed.

Everything stacked.

You and your marvellous job.

I'll ask a silly question.

Why is this room still here? Why isn't it on the van with the rest of our

things? That's a poofily question. Then I'll ask a third.

Why isn't it on its way to Yorkshire?

Perhaps the men forgot to pack it.

Well, of course the men forgot to pack it. Oh, I could murder you.

Me? Why me?

sunshine. It was you that wanted Charlie. Oh, dear. Why can I never find

file when I want one?

Oh, have you bought the nail? No.

Then why do you want it? Don't worry. It'll be in all the papers tomorrow.

Doctor 29 filed to death.

Mother 42 held for questioning.

And for perjury.

Don't push it.

You're in trouble enough as it is.

Look, I don't know why you're blaming me.

Don't you? And whom else should I blame?

Charlie and Clint, that's whom else?

And who picked Charlie and Clint? Who found the only two removal men in the

whole of London who could overlook an entire room full of furniture?

All right, I'll admit it's unfortunate.

Unfortunate? It's catastrophic.

What are we going to do?

I'm trying to think.

Well, you'd better be sharp about it because the Robinsons are downstairs

waiting to move in.

Oh, no, I've forgotten about them. Well, we're going to have to get this stuff

out of here, aren't we?

Branson's removal men will take it down for us.

And what will they do with it then? Leave it on the lawn?

Got it!

Now you're doing it. You're what?

We'll get a dealer.

A what -er?

A second -hand furniture man. We'll get him up here and sell him this lot. And

it's up to him to take it away.

That's brilliant, Robert.

Isn't he clever, Ida? No, he isn't. He's thick as planks.

Thank you. Why?

Because in the first place, it could be days before you get a dealer. They never

answer the phone. you know. They're always out totting. What in? Totting.

And in the second place, all my winter woolies are in that chest of drawers.

Take them out. They'll go in the back of the car.

And what about me bed? Will that go in the back of the car as well?

No, it's being thick as planks. No, it'll go with the dealer.

Only with me in it.

I love that bed.

Hours of happiness that bed's given me.

Oh, yes.

Better not tell the dealer. He'll want to examine the springs.

Oh, well, if you're going to be coarse, I'm going.

Where to?

Bed.

Oh, no, that'll be the Robinsons wanting to get in. Then you'd better break it

to them that they've got a sitting tenant.

What are you going to tell Mr. Robinson?

Nothing. I'm going to give him a kiss and ask him for five more minutes.

Don't joke, Robert.

Who's joking? I'm desperate.

Smile.

Hello again.

Oh, Charlie, am I glad to see you.

Aren't you? It's butter and leaf.

Is it?

Well, we didn't know what to do with it. Oh, you found it, then?

Found it? I've been sitting on part of it.

Pardon? Don't just stand there. Come in and get it. OK, OK, Clint.

Clint! Hang on, hang on.

Allow me.

Clint!

Oh, hello.

Clint, just go and get it. The lady's getting a bit upset.

OK, no sweat.

No sweat, he says.

Look, Charlie, I know he lives in a world of his own, but what's your

He hasn't got an excuse.

You're inefficient, you are.

In -e -fic -ient.

Well, don't you stand there. Go and give the lad a hand. Give him a hand? Well,

even he don't need a hand with what... Oh, you've got him.

Good.

Well, we'd have been starving by darby. We would.

Well, it's tar hour again, then.

See you all in Yorkshire.

Bye, Charlie. Bye, Clint.

Surely they could have got a sandwich on the motorway. Do you know how much

sandwiches cost on the motorway?

Anyway, they had to come back to get my... Charlie!

Bye,

Charlie. Bye -bye, Clint.

Let's hope it is bye -bye this time.

Don't! Don't!

Do you know how the neighbours hate it? They're not our neighbours any more.

They aren't, are they?

Hey, I've got time to... Ring their doorbells and rob away.

I'm starting the car. All right, all right. I'm just going to check the hand

luggage.

Funny. What is that?

Don't ask silly questions, Ange.

Sorry.

I think I'll get in the back with Ida.

Why is it doing that?

Perhaps it doesn't want to go a little bit more.

Don't start all that again.

Ah, we're in business. Come on, Ida, get in.

Doesn't do to go back.

Doesn't, doesn't.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

More tea, Robert?

No, thanks. Or it'll be me we have to stop for next time.

How long's she been in there? I don't know.

I do. 20 minutes.

How can anyone take 20 minutes... Robert!

There's probably a queue.

In the loo? Well, it can't happen, you know.

Ah, here she is.

Oh, that's better.

Right, now, where's me tea?

You drank it before you went to the loo. That was 20 minutes ago.

Oh, there was a whole coachload of fat women in front of me.

All clamouring. And they kept shouting to each other over the tops of the

cubicles.

I hate that.

That won't be long, Ange. Where are you going?

Phone little Birch March. Tell Dr. Sharp I'm very sorry, but it looks like we're

going to be a little late. Like three hours.

Don't take no notice. He'll get over it. Shall I get you some more tea?

Have we time?

It's a long queue.

Not as long as the queue for the phone.

Doctor, surgery. What seems to be the trouble?

interview.

Oh. Oh, dear. How late?

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Well, I'll have to, won't I? I can hardly leave a key under the mat.

Oh, no, no, no. It's no trouble. I can always ring a friend to give Mother her

lunch and another to take my doggie out.

So just you concentrate on getting here as soon as you can.

Yes. Bye -bye.

to be late.

How late? Well, he didn't say. Where was he ringing from?

I didn't ask.

Let's hope he's nearer Leeds than London. What will you do? Leave the key

the mat?

Oh, now that wouldn't be very wise, would it, Doctor? No, no, I'll hang on

they get here.

I've got my knitting.

And you never know your luck, Doctor. You might have two arms by tomorrow.

That for me?

Well, it was such a shame about your luck.

However, did you manage to lose it? Ah, well... I remember putting it down at

the golf club, I think it was, and somebody must have picked it up.

But who would do such a thing?

Who, indeed?

It's a good pattern, Miss. It allows for the odd mistake.

I can see.

I tell you what, Miss Bartlett. Now we have a new young doctor joining the

practice. You'd better start knitting for him instead of me.

Oh, yes. And he's such a nice young man, isn't he, Doctor?

Charming. Such a funny disposition.

Damn thing.

with it, you know. Of course there's nothing wrong with it. It just won't go.

Right.

I'll give it one more try.

And then what?

Go for a mechanic.

another 20 minutes gone.

Who could possibly know that?

Another coach just pulled in.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Kitty. Kitty, it's me again.

Kitty, I hate asking you, but no, dear, not a sign of them.

I'm on the second sleeve.

No, it's Mother I'm worried about. Did she manage any lunch?

Oh, that's a lot for her. Well done.

But she'll want her tea, won't she?

Oh, Kitty, you are marvellous.

Will I always give her a Marmite sarnie and finish her off with a fairy cake?

Pardon, dear? A supper?

Oh, over a tea and a biscuit. But surely they'll be here by then.

Well, I don't know, dear, do I?

They could have had an accident.

Or run out of petrol. Or... What?

Well, I hope they haven't simply stopped to admire a glorious view.

laughter

Six if you count the herd.

Next time I'm going to be getting and go. You'll have to be quick. One sight

us and they're off like rockets.

It's you that puts them off. Oh, of course.

Everything's my fault today.

Look, how far away did you say we were?

About five miles.

Well, it'll have to be Shanks' pony then.

But Ada, five miles?

Well, what's five miles? It'll do us good.

We're none of us get enough exercise.

Come on.

You're doing very well, Ida. Just a few more yards. I

didn't tell you where

me well was, didn't I?

Yes, Ida. Two miles ago.

In the drawer with your winter woolies. I never want to have old winter woolies

again.

This is the village where we're going to live. Isn't it lovely?

Beautiful.

Excuse me.

Yes?

Why have we stopped? Why have we stopped?

Is the lady all right? Because there's a surgery just round the corner.

Well, that's where we're going, actually.

Oh, good.

Ask for Dr. Sharp, I should. There's a new lad coming. Well, what the lad?

Cheer up, darling.

Soon be there.

As a matter of fact, I'm the new lad.

You're not, aren't you, young?

I'll get older.

Sooner than you think. Let me round to you.

Ta -da. Ta -da.

Well, that was a long surgery, wasn't it?

It's been a long day altogether, Doctor.

Oh, Miss Carpenter, I'm so sorry.

Look here, you go on home and I'll stay here with the key.

Oh, I shouldn't let you, but, well, it's Mother's breakfast I'm thinking of.

I can't understand it. I mean, where can they have got to? And what about their

furniture? Where's that got to? We've quite forgotten all about the furniture.

Look, we haven't got the wrong day, have we? Well, no, because they ran, didn't

they? To say they'd be a little late. A little late.

Oh, they did?

When was that?

Oh, now, let me think.

I haven't cast on you right sleeve. It was before twelve.

Then they can't be far away.

There's three, as a matter of fact. Well, get me in and point me to the

There's a conservatory.

That's the surgery.

And look, that whole top floor, that's ours.

And look, there's an... Shane, just get me in, lay me down and bury me decent.

Well, if just in case I'm not, let the co -op handle the arrangement.

Don't forget to get the divvy.

Good night, then, Miss... A nighty -night, Doctor. I'll give you a ring

Surgery's over.

Never mind. I'll be first in the queue in the morning.

Well,

how are you feeling now, Mrs Willis? Don't ask me. Ask me feet.

Five miles, he said. It was nearer ten, you know. Was it? No.

I'm terribly sorry, Dr Sharp. I'm afraid we've put you to a lot of

inconvenience. Oh, don't worry about me. It's poor old Miss Parfitt who's been

in the hot feet.

All day?

I couldn't leave, you see, because I had the key.

I'm really sorry, Miss Parfitt.

Well, all's well that ends well, I suppose.

But when it got to five o 'clock and there was no sign of you or your

well, we began to think we'd got the wrong day, didn't we, Doctor?

You're not saying the furniture was late as well?

Well, as a matter of fact... Well, it shouldn't have been. It left before we

did. What time did it get here?

Well, unless I've gone raving mad, it didn't get here, did it?

No, it didn't. It happened.

And I've never left my post, you know, not for a second.

Well, except to go to the... And there's a boot bell in there.

Just a minute.

That means we've got no furniture.

And we're moving into an empty flat.

Oh, Robert.

Well, I thought perhaps you'd scrapped all the old stuff and were planning to

buy new.

Oh, if only we had...

draw so as I wouldn't lose it.

Now I've lost me woolly draw.

Oh, you poor old thing.

Never mind, I can make a new one.

And I won't believe in her much.

I prescribe a stiff dose of medicinal brandy. Oh, do you know, I think I'm in

love with that man.

Can't imagine what's happened to the furniture. Can't you? I can. Charlie and

Clint stopped halfway up the M1 to have a car boot sale.

I wonder if there's a parking to go to.

Whatever for? It's on the house. There we are.

Tribbles all round.

Well, I shouldn't really. I'm cycling.

Oh, well.

Don't risk it, love.

Pour yours into mine.

Don't switch through to your house, Doctor. My wife knows I'm here.

Oh, yes, of course.

Hello, Mrs. Sharp. Edith Parfitt here.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Oh, well, yes, he is.

It's for you, Dr. Price.

Who's speaking, please?

Oh, are you sure?

Well, yes, I suppose you should know who you are, but how can you be?

Who is it, Miss Parfitt?

She says she's your mother.

Already?

Thanks, Miss Parfitt.

Hello, Mother.

I thought you were his mother.

I am.

Well, we both are. You'll get used to it.

Oh, well.

What?

She's got Charlie and Clint down there.

But I gave them the address myself.

No, don't do that. Tell them to make an early start tomorrow.

No, she wasn't. Who wasn't what?

You weren't sick.

Of course I wasn't. She wasn't with us.

They're not always the best of friends, I'm afraid.

I gathered that.

What? Oh, no, don't do that. She wants to come with them. Tomorrow. She can't.

Oh, don't let her.

Don't worry.

Why don't you wait until we're nicely settled in, Mother?

Yes, five years will soon pass.

Look, thanks, Mother.

I must go.

I've got patients waiting.

Goodbye.

How could they possibly lose the address?

Just as long as they haven't lost the furniture.

When's it coming?

Tomorrow, hopefully.

What about tonight?

Oh, don't worry about that.

I'll book you into the wagon and horsey. Super pub.

Splendid. And full poop to bed.

It's still like two.

Oh, well, let's get round there then.

Just a minute. Anyone have a look at your new home?

Oh, Ida, of course. I keep forgetting you haven't been in your room, have you?

haven't seen anything yet.

I'd offer to show you round, Mrs Willis, but it's nearly time for Mother's

ovaltine. Oh, yes, you must get that down, now.

How old is she?

Ninety -three.

Don't dawdle, love.

I tell you what, Miss Parfitt, I'll run you home. And on the way, I'll book you

into the wagon and horses. You ready, Miss Parfitt?

Oh, I'll just be... I've finished my brandy, since I'm not peddling.

Cheers. That was mine.

If I remember right, this should be... Yes, it is.

This is the kitchen, Ida.

Give me a minute to brace myself.

I haven't got over the bathroom yet.

Right, here I come.

And it gloomy.

It's got potential, Ida.

If by that you mean it hasn't got enough PowerPoints, you're right.

Oh, when I think what we've left behind.

Me double drainer.

I'll buy you one.

Me split -level cooker.

I'll buy you one.

Me dishwasher.

I'll buy... We didn't have one.

Just testing.

What do you think then, Ida?

Well, it's... Not what I've been used to, but I suppose I'll learn to live

it.

Whatever's that?

That's a fridge.

Well, thank heaven for that. I thought it was a mosque.

A mosque?

Well, we're not that far from Bradford here, you know.

Well, I think I've seen all I need to see. Just let me leave now and have a

little wee.

Aren't you going to open the fridge?

Open the fridge?

There might be something inside.

Oh, I hope not.

You'd better check it, though.

It's not one of your little jokes, is it? No.

Well, it better not be, because I'm not in the mood for it.

that lovely Dr.

Sharp. The minute I set eyes on that... Oh.

What? What's it say?

To the best mother in the world, welcome to your new home.

All my love, Robert.

Oh, Angie.

All.

However did you manage it? It wasn't easy.

Come here, you!

But I think it was worth it.

Oh, I don't know why you don't like... I like this kitchen, Angie. I think it's

lovely.

It's got a lot of potential.

It was worth it.

Mummy's little day.