Original subtitles

That's my boy.

Ah, morning, Mrs W. Lovely morning.

Isn't it?

Oh, you know, that is really beautiful.

I know.

I wish I had your touch with plants.

Well, it's not a matter of touch, Mrs W.

Isn't it? No, it's more a matter of communication.

Communication? Talking to them, saying hello to them. Oh, yes.

Every morning I say hello to my little darlings, don't I?

I don't miss one of you out, do I? You've told me this before.

Remember now, I went straight upstairs and had a few words with me African

violet. That's the way, that's the way.

What happened?

It died.

But I don't think it suffered.

Sounds as though it didn't have much time.

Oh, yes, Commander Buckley. Good morning, Commander.

Oh, good morning.

Yes, yes.

A moustache?

Well, that was short and sweet.

Like a donkey's gallop.

Oh, it's your turn.

I'll try again.

Good morning, Lady White.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, quite.

I must dash.

Well, if the flats were on fire, they'd be going the other way.

And they surely would have mentioned something. Or am I being touchy?

Jim? Jim?

Just getting you your cutting.

Oh, thank heaven for that. I was beginning to feel like the Marie

Oh, thanks ever so much. Now, I'll treasure that.

Now, talk to it. Remember, talk to it.

Count's honour.

Dib, dib, dib. Dob, dob, dob.

One more thing.

Positioning. It's positioned. Or mine.

Mrs W.

Oh, I'm only teasing.

Oh, good morning, Miss Walken. Ah.

Look what Jim's just given me. I'm terribly sorry, but I've absolutely got

um... Got to dash?

Hole in one.

Right.

Well, it looks as though I'm going to be glad to talk to you. I'm running out of

people.

No good upsetting yourself, Ida. Who's upset?

They can cut me as dead as they like. It's no skin on my nose.

They'll want me before I want them.

Did they say anything?

When? When they didn't speak.

How many of those have you had?

I didn't mean that.

Oh, good, because I've had more than you've had.

I must have upset them, mustn't I, hadn't you?

Look, how, love, how?

Oh, it's only three of them.

Well, as if that's...

enough anyway.

There was four because Major Miller was there.

Major Miller? But he fancies you.

Oh, he doesn't.

He does.

Well, he doesn't fancy me anymore.

He cut me like scissors.

Must death.

You're imagining things.

Oh, don't take my word for it. That's Jim Barnes. He was there witnessing my

embarrassment. I've lost it, you know.

ball this afternoon.

So what?

You've been knocking it back a bit, haven't you? It is Ida's bottle. It's

liver, too.

What are you celebrating?

Oh, celebrating.

Ida's upset.

Oh, are you? No, I'm a bit, yes.

Have another drink, then.

Oh, now he knows it's my bottle.

Anyway, I think I will see that you say I should.

What are you upset about, anyway?

I'll tell him, shall I?

Three of the names. No, no, I don't want him told.

I don't want him to know.

It was four of the neighbours.

What about them? They cut me dead.

Nonsense. Oh, don't take my word for it. That's Jim Barnes. He was there.

All right, I believe you. Four of the neighbours cut you dead.

Well? Well, what?

Well, are you furious?

No, I'm curious.

What have you done to upset them? Nothing. I have done nothing.

For once in my life, I can say with my hand on my gin...

I do nothing.

Even Major Miller cut her dead and he fancies her.

Does he? What do you mean, does he?

Yes, he does.

He's mud for me.

Well,

I'll be seeing him in a minute. There's a residence meeting in number seven. To

talk about me. They want me evicted. I do nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

Heidi, you're paranoid.

I'm what, annoyed?

Paranoid. I'm not.

Look, do you want me to ask Miller what all this is about?

I think you can do it nicely, only I don't want you losing your temper.

What if he's rude about you?

If he's rude about me?

Eat him!

Oh,

hello, Mr. Bart.

Oh, Mrs. Price, you're in your... Oh, I'm... I'm far too late, aren't I? Far

late. Too late for what?

To have a word with Mrs. Willis.

Only just a quick word, but I'm far too late.

Well, she's not in bed.

Oh, hello, Jim. You're a late bird.

What did I say?

I'm off to bed either. Night.

Night, Mr Barnes. Night, night. Well, come in, Jim. Oh, dear.

Oh, this is nice. It isn't often I have a visitor. Come and sit yourself down.

Oh, I'm not stopping. I shouldn't be here at all, by rights. Only my wife is

afraid I wouldn't sleep.

Go and do it, she said.

You won't sleep if you don't.

Go and do it.

Do what, Jim?

Where did you put it?

Put what?

What I gave you this morning.

The baby begonia rex.

Oh, the baby begonia... Well, I was going to put it by the window.

Oh, but I didn't, I didn't.

Oh, thank God. The one thing a baby begonia can't stand is a draft.

I'm just the same myself.

My mother always said, a window half open is a cold half course.

And a plant half dead.

Where is it? Well, I put it over there, but if you don't... Oh, perfect!

That's the perfect place.

You're in good hands, aren't you?

You've really tumbled into the butter.

Well, I needn't to worry, do you need I? Oh, well, it is its first night away

from home.

You're very...

Very understanding.

I shan't trouble you any more. Oh, don't go. Stay and have a cup of tea with me.

What, in me overalls? Oh, that wouldn't be right.

Oh, there's my son home. Well, he'll be having a cup, so I'll have to put the

kettle on anyway.

Oh, well, all right, then.

I've always got time for young Dr Price.

Always ready with a cheery word.

He is, isn't he? Bless him.

I hope he didn't drink all that gin, because I... Oh, is Mr Barns, love,

checking up on his begonia?

Oh, yeah. Well, I'll leave you to it, then.

Well, hang on. Don't you want a cup of... So much for the cheery word.

Are you awake?

Never mind.

Are you awake?

Yes. I'll give you ten seconds.

To do what? To get out of this bed.

And into your pyjamas. And into the lounge.

Oh, but I've got... I'll be waiting.

me they were cutting dead.

They weren't cutting anyone dead. It's just that they couldn't look poor old

in the eye.

He's not a young man, you know. What if he can't get another job?

He should have thought of that before he asked for a rise.

That's your other mummy talking.

How much did he ask for?

Six quid a week.

Six quid? Why, that isn't even the price of a bottle of gin.

Have a good night and give it to him myself.

What finishes me off is, who do you think you're going to get to work for

No, we're not. I mean, in this day and age, what do you mean you're not?

We're not replacing him.

Why did a cold shiver run up and down my spine?

All his jobs are being divided.

How can you divide sweeping a hall or tidying the gravel on a drive?

Don't you make one flat responsible for the sweeping, one for the gravel, one

for the paintwork?

And one for the little boy that lives down the lane.

What are we responsible for?

Huh? Yes, all...

What's a downfall?

Lift. Lift?

What does us know about lifts?

What's there to know? It's just a matter of keeping them clean.

And keeping them running, Shane.

But if it wasn't for Jim Barnes and his little bag of tools, that lady in number

20 would have had her baby in the lift.

Oh, what a thing to be landed with.

What's everybody else doing?

Well, Commander Buckley's doing the windows.

He's not.

We've misspoken to holding the ladder, I think.

What about Lady White?

Just say, stoking the boilers and I'll die happy.

She's doing the flowers.

Doing the... What flowers?

The ones in the foyer, I think. Oh, now, Shane, as a doctor...

Tell me, do you think she's strong enough?

Doing the flowers.

Anyway, she'll never do them as well as Jim Barnes.

I mean, she won't talk to them.

How do you know? Because she never talks to anybody that hasn't been to boarding

school.

She talks to you?

No. She answers when I talk to her, which isn't the same.

She doesn't talk to Jim Barnes. She never has done.

That reminds me, who is going to talk to him? Who's going to tell him he's got

the push?

Commander Buckley's going to slip a note under his door.

Oh, how brave.

How macho.

You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Look, Ida, I didn't want him to go. Oh, no? Then why's he going?

I was outvoted. Oh, yes, they'll all say that, all the rotten lot of you. But

you'll regret it, you know.

You're not going to make waves, are you?

Just a little ripple.

Who are you ringing?

ACAS. Who do you think?

Do you realise it's after midnight?

Oh, dear, is that all? I hoped it was later.

Commander Buckley, this is Ida Willis of number 58.

I understand you've taken up window cleaning.

Well, then how would you put it?

Oh, well, we won't split hairs, but I want you and your bucket outside my

windows at eight o 'clock in the morning and bring your own leather.

And that's sunshine.

Just the beginning.

him to clean your windows?

Well, why not?

Well, I'm still cleaning windows, aren't I? Till I go at the end of the month.

If you go at the end of the month, but I'm fighting it. I'm fighting every inch

of the way. There'll be fighting in the foyer. There'll be fighting in the

forecourt. There'll be... Oh, no, please.

No fighting. Not over me.

Yeah, but, Jim, we can't just take it lying down, can we?

Well, I can.

Don't you want to stay?

Oh, I want to. Of course I want to. It's been my life, this block of flats.

But I can't stand trouble.

Never have been able to stand trouble.

It's my stomach.

Your stomach?

It churns.

Oh, I see.

Well, it's a good thing mine doesn't then, isn't it?

Can't we let things lie, Mrs W? I'd rather go quietly.

Yeah, but you can't now. I've got me petition ready.

Petition? Oh, I'm churning.

Here, look at me.

Here we are. To whom it may concern... Oh.

..we, the undersigned, do not agree with and cannot condone... I don't think

I've spelt condone quite right.

Anyway, never mind.

..cannot condone the cruel... Oh!

..unjust... Oh! ..and probably illegal dismissal of our beloved caretaker,

Barnes.

Baden. Pardon?

James Badenbarnes.

How unusual.

But I can't put it in now, because, you see, I haven't left a space, but it's

nice.

And there's the space for all the signatures.

Oh, how many have you got?

Well, only mine and the milkman's so far.

But out of small beginnings, little acorns grow.

Or something like that.

You... Wouldn't let me handle things my way, would you, Mrs W?

I might. What way's your way?

Passive resistance.

We'll stick to my way.

Oh. What?

There's the commander.

Oh, yes.

Well, you're not afraid of him, are you?

Jim?

Jim! Down here.

What are you doing down there?

Oh, don't tell me.

Churning. Now, Mrs Willis, sir, about your window. Still sorry. Can't stop.

I want to get back before the match starts. You will, you will.

Now then, I've got me purse and I've got me shopping list.

Do you think I ought to go to the... No.

Anyway, we won't be gone that long, will we?

Ida, if you want to go, go, because there's nothing worse... If you're going

say bladder, please go.

Have you got your checkbook? Yes.

Don't use that tone with me.

We're not going shopping for my sake, you know.

It's you that'll be wanting your Sunday lunch. If I had my way, I'd be out there

petitioning. Oh, you're not still on that, are you? Oh, yes, I am, you know.

I've already got 23 signatures, and only six of them are forged.

Three more, and you'll be ready to hand it in to 10 Downing Street.

Take that. Oh, I don't... Oh, say... I wish I could remember what

I'd forgotten to put on my list.

Well, it couldn't have been anything important, otherwise you wouldn't have

forgotten it. Oh, I hate people who say that.

Gin!

How could anyone forget gin?

And how could anyone forget that their flies are undone?

What? I've caught you.

You know, it shouldn't take you too long to clean this.

Me? Yeah, well, you're the one that drew it out of the hat. Push the button.

I thought you and Angie could take it in turns.

Take what in turns?

Cleaning the lift.

Oh, you don't give up easily, do you? How long's it going to be before it's

done?

What was that?

I don't know.

We've stopped moving.

Push the button again.

All right, all right, don't panic.

Who's panicking? Have you pushed it?

I've pushed it. Well, push it again. Push harder.

Ida, I can't push it any harder. Why not?

Because my finger will come through the other side.

Well, push something else. Like what?

Emergency. Push emergency.

I've pushed it. Well, why is nothing happening?

But on this, you know, like your friend Jim, I don't know anything about... All

right, you've made your point.

Where is Jim? Standing by the master switch.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, come on, Ida, stop fooling about. How long before Jim comes to the rescue?

Look, this has nothing to do with Jim Barnes.

It's got nothing to do with me.

It's... What do they call it? It's an act of God.

Do you mean we're really stuck?

supposed to be meeting a friend.

Oh, Commander, thank goodness.

It's Dr. Price and Mrs. Willis. They're stuck in the lift.

Oxygen.

Oxygen?

We've only got three tins left.

Ooh, he's something else.

Has anyone gone for help?

Not yet, not yet. No need for panic action. Panic action?

Haven't you tried pressing the emergency button?

You must think we're stupid.

How long have they been bunkered?

About two hours at least.

Good grief.

Oh, those stairs will be the death of me.

Oh, it's no good waiting for the lift, I'm afraid. It's out of order.

Ah, yes.

Now, about that.

I hope there's no one stuck in it. Well, I want you to know that we're doing

everything we can. Oh, come on, Bucky, tell her.

Tell me what?

What is going on there? We could be dying down here.

That's Ida. Where is she?

Stuck in the lift with your old man.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, madam. Very sorry indeed.

By just being sorry, what are you going to do about it? Do about it? Oh, get it

going, man. Get it going.

Oh, I only wish I could.

Help! Help!

Oh, pitiful, that is.

Really pitiful.

Why can't you help them?

Well, firstly, it's my afternoon off.

Afternoon off?

I'm entitled to it. And secondly, look.

Ever since I received my notice.

It's the shock I expect.

Help! Help!

Dreadful shock he was.

Help! Help!

I want help if I could.

Give him his job back.

Ah, don't let's be hasty about this. Give him his job back. Ah, yes, but

you see... Give him his job back or I'll... You've got your job back.

Miraculous, isn't it?

Shane. Hmm?

I've been thinking.

Now what?

Promise you won't laugh.

I promise.

Well, it's just that... Well, I just wanted to know that I'm ever so proud

of you.

Me?

No mother could wish for a finer son.

You've only had me at the time for a couple of years.

Oh, yeah, but...

They've been the happiest years of my life.

And, well, now it looks as though they're coming to an end.

I wonder they'll get us out.

Oh, yes, of course they will.

Only, well, I just wanted you to know that I'm ever so sorry I gave you away.

And I'm ever so glad I've got you back.

And, oh, I do love you ever so much. I knew you'd laugh.

I'm not laughing.

Aren't you?

No.

Ida. Hmm?

Look at me.

I love you very much, too.

Oh, Shane.

tea, Ida? Why not? I don't have to go in that list again.

Oh, we're ever so grateful to you, Jim, aren't we, Shane?

Oh, don't be. I feel bad enough as it is.

But you're the hero of the hour.

No, I've got no idea it was you two that were going to be stuck in the lift. I

thought Dr.

Price would be here watching the football and Mrs. Willis would be on the

streets.

Petitioning. I was going to say.

I shouldn't have done it, should I? I shouldn't have done it. Done what?

Rigged the lift.

You?

You? Well, look, it was a rotten match, Dr Price. Rotten, really. And I had to

get me job back somehow.

Hardly worth it. You've just lost it again.

Oh, Robert, don't be mean.

Yes, and don't be hasty. It might not be me you're stuck in the lift with next

time. How does two hours with Miss Falkender grab you?

She'd need to shave before you did.

Oh, God.

I shan't rig the lift again. If I don't get my job back, and I hope I will, I

shall have to resort to plan B.

Plan B?

Poisoning the water supply.

But I'm loathe to do it.

Well, I'm glad to hear it. This is what you meant by passive resistance, is it?

What, it to get into a fight with you?

Tell me something.

If I can.

Supposing plan B didn't work?

Oh, I'd be even... loather to try this.

Gather round, love. We're all going to learn quite a lot.

Now, you remember the towering inferno?

Well, we can block that staircase.