All language subtitles for Thats My Boy s02e06 To Catch A Thief

That's my boy.

started yet.

No, it's just going to. I've switched
on. Oh, lovely.

I've got the chocolates. They're all
soft -scented so we don't have to look

down. I don't want to miss a minute.

I wonder if I've ever seen this before.
I don't remember it. Oh, you would if

you'd seen it before.

It's unforgettable.

Betty Davies at the peak of her powers.

And Paul Enreid. Ooh.

It's the one where he lights two
cigarettes at once.

Heavy smoker, was he?

Now, if you're going to be facetious,
you can take that book and go and read

another room.

Sorry, sorry.

Oh, and the end.

Oh, I can't wait for the end.

Neither can I. I'm warning you.

She turns to him and she looks deep into
his eyes and she says... You smoke too

much.

She says, don't let's ask for the moon.

We've been given the stars.

Yuck.

Know what?

What she says. I mean, it's a silent
film.

It didn't.

It didn't a silent film.

Have you been twiddling those knobs?

No, I haven't touched it. Have you?

No. Oh, don't tell me that set's gone
wrong again. The first time for weeks

there's been anything worth watching.
Oh, I'll have a go. Don't you touch it.

You'll only make it worse.

All right, then, clever clogs, you make
it better.

I will in a minute.

That's what I'm hoping.

Two cigarettes at one.

Oh, I'll do it myself.

Don't worry, Angie, I know exactly what
you do. You bonk it twice on this side,

you count to four and then you bonk it
once on top, like this.

The pitch is gone now.

I can see.

Just as well there was nothing worth
watching.

Oh, if it had been the cup final, it
would have had this set a bit.

Do you think...

Oh, not a hope.

But it's only 20 past eight.

What's that got to do with it?

Well, what are we going to do for the
rest of the evening?

You'll go to bed early.

Must we? I'm awfully tired.

Oh, not a peep.

Call yourself a doctor.

I am a doctor.

Then cure that.

I don't want to cure it.

Meaning it can't. Meaning I'm glad it's
back.

You're both getting far too dependent on
it. It's a 20 -part date. What are we

going to do for the rest of the evening?

What do you think people did before
television was invented?

I've no idea.

Well, you must have some idea either.
You're old enough.

How nicely you put things.

Well, let me cut me mind back.

Oh, I can see it all.

Me sitting in the cave, waiting while me
fella brings mecabrontosaurus for me

supper.

There's always been television.

Of course there hasn't.

Well, there's always been wireless.

Charles Dickens didn't have a wireless.

Oh, too mean to pay the licence, was it?

There was no wireless. It hadn't been
invented.

Oh, was that why you wrote all those
rotten old books?

People used to make their own
entertainment.

We're back to the brontosaurus.

They used to write books, paint
pictures, stand around the piano and

have friends around.

We could have friends around.

Oh, yes.

And who's going to be responsible for
the sandwiches?

It all falls on me, you know.

Anyway, what friends?

What difference does it make? Friends,
people, invite them round, make them

welcome.

Oh, who the hell's that?

What difference does it make? Invite
them in, make them feel welcome.

I'm not going.

Oh, all right, I'll go.

Do you keep ringing doorbells at all
hours of the night?

Don't forget to make a few welcomes in.

Hello, hello, hello.

Hello.

What do you want?

Well, do you know I want anything?

I'm psychic.

What do you want? Well, I just want to
watch the match, that's all.

What match? England v Spain.

That's not on tonight, is it? Nine o
'clock.

We've just got half an hour. To pour the
beer?

To mend the set.

Hold on to this little screw, and
whatever you do, don't forget where it

from. I don't know where it came from.

You mean you didn't watch me take it
out?

As the flasher said to the old lady.

Wilfred! Oh, well.

I'm wasting my time here. I'll never get
that fixed.

Then go somewhere else.

Well, there's nowhere else I can get
cooler.

Well, what's wrong with the Duke of
Wellington?

Well, you have to buy a drink to watch
there.

Oh, how dreadful.

Oh, don't force yourself.

I'm skint. Well, then go home and watch
it at your Maureen. I can't do that. Why

not? Well, they've repossessed the
telly.

Oh, that's awful.

Poor Maureen with all those children.
What will she do?

Go to bed early and have a few more.

I said to her, you know, it shouldn't
mess about with rented sets.

I said, I'll get you one of your own, I
said, for next to nothing.

The way you'd get it, why next to
nothing?

What's wrong with nothing?

It'd fall off the back of a lorry.

Well, I've got to see the driver right
first.

And see your Maureen right second.

She's a good girl to you, is your
Maureen.

Oh, go on, be a devil, buy her a set.

Well, I would, but I'm on a fixed
income.

Felix Dinkum, I thought you were on the
dole.

Well, it's no laughing matter being on
the dole, Ida. I can tell you that.

I'd give my right arm for a steady job.

Do you mean that?

Here's the arm. Where's the job?

At the hospital. You can start Monday.

What do you mean? There's a porter's job
going. I'm sure I can swing it your

way. That's great.

Wilfred, you've got a job.

Not yet, he hasn't. Hospital porter?

Oh, well, you see, the thing about that
is that I've got to... Listen, get near

the wheels going round.

I've got to wear overalls, haven't I?

Yes. What's wrong with that? I'm
allergic.

To overalls?

It's original.

All right, let's give it a try. I'll
plug it in.

Oh, look, a little light came on. Where?
There.

I think I've fixed it. Oh, wonderful.
Bring your chair over here, love.

Oh, look, look, he's just coming to the
good bit.

We'll turn over to the match at nine.

It won't, you know.

Look, look, a cigarette for him and a
cigarette for her.

He's getting his lighter out.

Oh, he's flicking it. Look, haven't you?

I'm not sorry I missed that match.

Fame won.

Did they?

Well, Betty Davies lost.

Bye, darling.

Bye. Bye, Ida. Bye -bye, love. Have a
nice day.

You never say that to me.

I don't, do I? And get your elbows off
the table.

What? I thought you'd gone, what?

You won't forget to ring that man, will
you? What man? The telly man.

Tell him if we convict the set -by
tonight, I'll give him a great big...

do.

Bye.

You are going to ring that man about the
television, aren't you? Yes. I can rely

on that, can I? Yes. Because it's seven
brides for seven brothers tonight, and

if you don't think you can get near to a
telephone... I will get near to a

telephone. I may leave a patient with
his tonsils hanging out, but I will get

a phone.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather I did
it?

I'll do it, right?

Oh, if you say so.

I do say so. Goodbye.

Shame!

Now what?

Have a nice day.

I'm a lonesome pole.

Lonesome, sad and blue.

It's me singing that lures them in.

Oh, good morning, madam. Morning.

Excuse me asking.

But was that you singing so beautifully
just now?

Well, there's nobody else at home.

Oh, really?

You've got a lovely voice.

Oh, thank you very much.

But you didn't ring my doorbell just to
tell me that.

Oh, no, you're quite right. I've come to
have a look at your sockets.

Your what?

The sockets, madam.

Electrics.

Oh, you're the man for the television.

What? Well, I wasn't expecting you till
much later in the day, if at all.

He must have... wrong you the minute he
got to work.

Oh, he did. Yes, yes, he did, yes. And
as I was going to be in the area anyway,

I thought I'd pop round and do you
first.

I could come back if it's not
convenient.

Oh, no, don't go away now you're here.

This way.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, they're lovely flats these, aren't
they?

Well, they're all right, but the trouble
with flats, you've got no garden.

Ah, but you've got no grass to cut, you
see, and no edges to trim.

Oh. Something wrong?

I'll blame the office.

They don't pass on the information.

Now, if I'd known that was going to be a
7924, I could have brought the

requisite tools.

I ain't got nothing in the van to fix
that.

Oh, don't tell me you've got to go away
and come back again.

Well, I'll put it this way.

How willing are you?

I'll put it this way.

To do what?

If you can rustle up a few household
implements, we might be in with a

Household implements?

Have you by any chance got a left
-handed tin opener?

No. Have to be a right -handed sin
opener, then.

Will that do just as well?

If I use my left hand, yes.

Aren't you clever?

Because I know nothing about
televisions. Don't you?

No. Oh, there's no reason why you
should, is there? I mean, that's my job,

it? Tell me, madam, when did you first
notice there was something wrong?

Well, I think it was when it went...

Again. I think I've cracked it.

Tell me if I'm wrong, but I wouldn't
mind betting you've got mixer taps.

In the kitchen.

Why they fix them, I don't know. And
never so much as a warning notice.

You mean the sound's gone off the
television because I've got mixer taps

kitchen? I'll bet you a pound or a
penny. Let's have a look at your taps.

on. This way.

Very nice, eh?

You see how I've got them, madam? The
hot hardly on and the cold not on at

Yes. Do you reckon by replacing my hands
with yours, you can maintain that

steady trickle? Well, I can try.

If you can just move over... Do you mean
this will mend the telly?

No, madam, no. That really would be
magic, wouldn't it? No, no, no. Well,

what I thought.

Now, what this does, you see, this
removes the magnetism from the set.

thus preventing me from going home
tonight to find that my wife's a widow.

Oh, I see.

Right, right.

Oh, you've got a tattoo.

Oh, yes, that's my blue bird of
happiness.

Should have worn gloves.

Pardon? Nothing, nothing. Now, you got
them? Right, now, this is very vital.

Whatever you do, don't let go of them
taps.

But supposing the phone rings or
somebody comes to the door?

I'll answer the phone, I'll answer the
door, but don't let go of them taps.

How long will you be?

Well, it depends what I find.

When I get the back off the set. Oh, I
see.

I'm a lonesome old cuck.

Lonesome.

Beautiful,

beautiful, truly beautiful.

So are you, my... little darling.

This man thought I was a fool.

Can you blame him?

Robert.

Well, how long did you stand there
holding those taps?

An hour and a half.

I should never have let him in, should
I?

No, you shouldn't.

Why did you let him in? Well, I thought
he was the man you'd wrong about the

television thing.

the man you rang about the television
set?

I didn't ring him.

You didn't ring him? After all you said,
you didn't ring... Well, of course, you

know what this means, don't you, Angie?

What? We can't watch Seven Brides for
Seven Brothers.

He couldn't watch it anyway.

He's pinched the television.

I've forgotten that.

Oh, can this be at this time of night?
Hey, don't you go.

I won't let anyone in. I'll never let
anyone in again.

Probably the police back.

Oh, shall I go?

Why? That sergeant was dishy.

Dishy? A time like this and Shane think
of dishy.

Shane. What?

Will you promise me something?

Oh, that depends.

Don't tell your other mummy about me and
the mixer taps.

Why not?

I don't want her laughing at me.

I don't want anybody laughing at me.

Arlington. I repeat, how did it get to
the Duke of Arlington?

Bluebird Johnny was in.

Bluebird who?

Bluebird Johnny. And what did you?

I'm lost.

I'll leave the country. I'll go to
Australia.

Hang on.

This Bluebird Jimmy.

Johnny. Oh, OK, Johnny.

You know him, do you? Know him? He's
only a lifelong friend and cellmate.

about anything else, but I need those
dangly earrings.

I've got to wear that black and white
suit tomorrow and nothing else really

with it except for my dangly earrings.
Angie, will you shut up about your

earrings? We want the lot back.

Hey, he's just saying that, isn't he?

He's just saying that. He's not, you
know.

You mean you're not doing an insurance
fiddle?

No, I'm not.

Oh, well, dear me.

I mean, that's heartbreaking, that is.

Well, I mean... If you want the stuff
back, I'll get it back. I'll have a word

with Johnny.

When?

Well, I'll have to find him, of course,
and that could prove to be pricey. It

will. Yeah, and then I've got to sweeten
him.

Sweeten him? Well, he did steal that
stuff in good faith, Shane.

I don't believe it. Look, I'll tell you
what I'll do.

Seeing as it's family, I'll cut back...
My expense is to 25 a day.

And I'll tell you something, shall I?

Scenic family, you'll cut them back to
five a day.

Done. 100 quid on delivery.

50. 25. Done. Done.

Oh, I promise

myself I've never seen that again. It
brings me bad

luck.

Oh, dear.

What now?

Press residence. To whom am I speaking
to, please?

Come on.

Hello?

Is that you, Wilfred?

Yes. Is that you?

Have you found him yet?

Found who?

Bluebird Thingy.

The one we're paying you five pounds a
day to find.

We could have got Philip Marlowe for
ten.

found him.

What do you mean? How nearly's nearly?

Well, another week and I'll be almost
there.

Another week at five pounds a day?

Just to find that you're almost there.
Not a hope, Wilfred.

Oh, well, he's been seen.

I'd checked so yesterday.

Oh, by.

Another lifelong friend and cellmate.

Oh, I got a hot tip last night from
Busty Bertha.

Look, Wilfred, you can't have another
week. Not at five pounds a day, you

How about 250 or not, dinner?

Wilfred, I'm not a Cass.

And I'm not doolally chaps either. I'm
sorry, Wilfred.

But I'm afraid your services are no
longer required.

What does that mean?

You're fired, you old fool.

Look, I'll pour round tonight and then
we can talk...

40 bertha.

Ooh, I can just see you.

And I wish I didn't.

Oh, I'm not destined to dust this room.

All right, all right. I don't believe
it.

I know what you're thinking.

I'll bet you don't. Ooh, you've got a
brass neck coming here.

What shall I hold on to this time?

Not on your life.

What is gratitude for you? I could have
got cop coming here.

I wish you had, but I'll guarantee
you'll get cop going home.

I've brought your stuff back.

Store? The stuff that I borrowed.

You tell her you'll be around later. I'm
having it picked at my own expense.

A sort of peace offering, you know.

It is our store.

Of course it is.

Here, your clock was running five
minutes fast. I've had it adjusted.

And there's new batteries in your
tranny.

And I polished up your dangly earrings,
which my lady wife was very loath to

part with.

Well, I think that's a lot. Well,
cheerio. All the best. And no hard

eh? Oh, and if the fuzz gets nosy, it
was all in a great big sack on your

doorstep, all right? Right. Turn up,
then.

Oh, Mr Bluebird! Look, I can't hang
about. No, no, no, just one thing.

What's brought about this change of
heart?

Come again?

Why have you going straight?

Straight?

I ain't going straight.

It's a mugs game, that is.

But why have you brought our stuff back?

Because you're Wilfred's sister.

I was Wilfred's sister when you took it.

I was Wilfred's sister when I stood for
an hour and a half holding those stuff.

But I didn't know that, did I? I didn't
know that till yesterday. The barmaid

told me down at the Duke of Wellington.

Name a birther.

Busty.

Very, yes.

The silly thing is, you see, Wilfred
could have told me this days ago.

Oh. Well, I was with him on Thursday.

I was with him on Friday.

Didn't see him on Saturday, but I was
with him all day long on Sunday. Now, on

Monday... Don't go on, Mr Bluebird.

Excuse me saying so, but you went off
going a funny colour.

Not a funnier deal go tonight.

Who is?

Wilfred.

Have I inadvertently dropped him in it?

Right up to his rotten neck.

I hope you don't mind being in here.

No. No idea.

It's cosy, isn't it?

You wouldn't have another one of these,
would you? After all you've done for us.

I've got a fridge full.

Oh, well, it's been a long day.

By the time I got to Wimslow...
Chepstow.

And Wimslow.

Oh, another of the hot tips from Busty
Bertha. Oh, you don't know the half.

It was only this morning that she had
word that he'd been seen in Australia.

Oh, no.

Oh, well, you'll be off there then
tomorrow.

Well, only if our Shane ups me expenses.

And I don't think we can rely on that,
Wilfred.

Where is our Shane? I mean, he's not
working, is he?

No, they're watching the telly. Oh, I
thought that... He's

never had a set.

No. Well, they haven't bought one.

With you just about to get their old one
back old. That would be silly.

Well, I mean, if they haven't bought one
and they haven't had one... Hello,

Wilfred. Hello, Arshane.

Have you got the time on you? I want to
set this.

Oh, I've got various times, actually.

That's a very nice clock.

We like it.

Hello, Wilfred.

I've forgotten how much these dangly
earrings pinch.

Well, take them off. There's no point in
wearing them if... Telly.

Clock.

Earrings.

Now, what was I doing with this?

I think it was for me.

Oh, so it was.

Cheers.