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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:06,120 Have you lost weight? 2 00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:09,360 No. Are you wearing contact lenses? 3 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:12,350 No. 4 00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:14,220 Well, I give in. 5 00:00:15,980 --> 00:00:17,660 Definitely something different. 6 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,320 I'll tell you what's different. 7 00:00:19,321 --> 00:00:20,539 I'm different. 8 00:00:20,540 --> 00:00:23,420 You are looking at the new, improved Bob. 9 00:00:23,421 --> 00:00:26,619 Is that what I'm looking at? You know what I thought when they shut down the 10 00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:30,600 school? No, I thought, here's a chance to make a fresh start. 11 00:00:30,601 --> 00:00:33,579 And do you know what I thought when I didn't get head of English at the new 12 00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:34,630 school? What? 13 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:39,029 What? No, no. Okay, there's not enough kids to justify two schools in the same 14 00:00:39,030 --> 00:00:40,029 catchment area. 15 00:00:40,030 --> 00:00:42,690 One school means one head of English. 16 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,430 And if that's not me, well, that's cool. 17 00:00:45,970 --> 00:00:48,750 Cool? Yeah, it's time for someone else to be the man. 18 00:00:49,010 --> 00:00:50,060 I can chill now. 19 00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:54,150 Since when? Since I became the new Bob. And I think you'll love the new Bob, 20 00:00:54,230 --> 00:00:57,910 because he's a laugh, he's laid back, and he likes to hang with the guys. 21 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,150 Doesn't new Bob ever get a rounding? 22 00:01:00,470 --> 00:01:04,629 And, of course, the best thing about new Bob... 23 00:01:04,830 --> 00:01:07,530 He's new Bob's new wife. 24 00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:11,980 I'm sorry. 25 00:01:12,110 --> 00:01:13,790 Yeah, got myself a young, 26 00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:16,690 gorgeous... Blind? 27 00:01:17,130 --> 00:01:18,180 No. Who is she? 28 00:01:18,470 --> 00:01:20,270 Here come the questions. 29 00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:21,930 What's she called? 30 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,450 Where did you meet her? 31 00:01:23,870 --> 00:01:25,230 What's she like in bed? 32 00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:32,330 Are you getting the drinks in or not? 33 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,360 Hey, you know what we should do? 34 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,060 What? Go and see Brian and Kurt. Oh, and Matt. 35 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,450 Matt? 36 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,060 Do we know anyone called Matt? 37 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,780 Wish us luck for tomorrow. 38 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,520 Sorry you're not, you know, alive. 39 00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:01,510 What are you doing? 40 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,080 Oh, I don't look like I'm doing. 41 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:04,570 Scatting. Yeah. 42 00:02:05,220 --> 00:02:08,890 It's the sort of thing you should only do to a pathetic bastard, isn't it? 43 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,960 And he goes, pull him back on our horsey. Fucking nice. 44 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,720 He's been fucking wise. 45 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,660 He's been fucking widow now. 46 00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,540 I'm not going to sit on Kurt. 47 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:19,850 Oh, go on. 48 00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:21,780 He does love that. 49 00:03:06,130 --> 00:03:08,099 No I 50 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:32,319 don't 51 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,800 like them you haven't even talked to them yet Take time if I don't. 52 00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:43,510 Oh. 53 00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:47,630 I know. 54 00:03:47,631 --> 00:03:48,719 You're here. 55 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:49,770 Of course. 56 00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:51,640 I was hoping you'd change your mind. 57 00:03:56,260 --> 00:03:57,310 Oi. 58 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,880 You offered a very generous redundancy package. 59 00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:03,480 I'm too young to retire. 60 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:07,970 want you here. 61 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,560 What are you trying to say? 62 00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:14,320 I'm trying to say I don't want you here. 63 00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:16,958 What do you mean, in this room? 64 00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:18,009 In this school. 65 00:04:18,940 --> 00:04:20,020 Why? What have I done? 66 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:21,850 Nothing. 67 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,290 Yet. 68 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:30,139 But if I hear you've made one mistake, if you turn up late, or you fail to make 69 00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:34,050 progress, or you refuse to give your full support to your head of department, 70 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,290 you're out. 71 00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:37,240 No warning, no second chance. 72 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,090 Out. 73 00:05:07,331 --> 00:05:12,539 Forgetting to know our new colleagues by ignoring them. 74 00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:14,860 To be honest, it doesn't seem to work. Hey! 75 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,040 I haven't got a pigeonhole. 76 00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:20,719 That's because Claire told me not to give you a pigeonhole. 77 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,280 I gather you'll be leaving soon. 78 00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:24,740 That's the head of English. 79 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:25,970 Over there. 80 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:27,910 Gorgeous. 81 00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:30,870 Gorgeous? 82 00:05:31,321 --> 00:05:34,879 Don't you want to speak to new people? 83 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,260 Who would I want to speak to? 84 00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:38,020 The fat bloke in the wig. 85 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,500 No, I don't want to speak to the fat bloke in the wig. Why not? Two reasons. 86 00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:43,710 One, he's fat. 87 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,200 Two, he's in a wig. 88 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:46,880 And what about the fat girl? 89 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:49,640 I never waste my time with the obese. 90 00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:51,340 The blonde one's not fat. 91 00:05:51,341 --> 00:05:52,519 Oh, this is stupid. 92 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,380 I'm going to mingle. It's not a party. 93 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,260 You can't mingle in a darkroom. 94 00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:58,360 The fat girl's coming. 95 00:05:58,361 --> 00:06:00,859 Look at me. We're talking about something important. 96 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,040 Hello, I'm Lindsay. 97 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,000 Hi, I'm Ewan, the head of English. 98 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,700 This is Ben and Damien. 99 00:06:07,070 --> 00:06:09,650 Did we go there last Friday? Or was it Thursday? 100 00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:12,110 Um, Friday, I think. 101 00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:22,749 Shut the fuck 102 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:23,800 up! 103 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:29,330 In future, when Carol claps, you stop talking. 104 00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,790 I hate that woman. 105 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,180 Which one? 106 00:06:33,230 --> 00:06:34,280 All of them. 107 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,330 I'm aware there can be problems when two schools merge. 108 00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:42,379 Those of us from Summerdown may feel like intruders, but I'm sure our new 109 00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:44,240 colleagues will make us feel welcome. 110 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,860 To help with the amalgamation, I'd like you all to wear name tags. 111 00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:54,790 I'd also like you to have a conversation with any teacher you don't know. 112 00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:58,880 Take a staff list from Liz and tick the names off. 113 00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:00,590 Thank you. 114 00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:22,550 I would like the summer dance students to integrate with the rest of the class. 115 00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:27,269 So everyone over there, pick up their books and move across and sit next to 116 00:07:27,270 --> 00:07:28,320 somebody over there. 117 00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:47,110 It's much better. 118 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,620 Why don't you stir it where you can see it? In your lap? 119 00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:52,950 It's hot. 120 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,450 Fucking hell! 121 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,550 Shit! 122 00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:58,890 Sorry. 123 00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,350 Oi, Baldi. 124 00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:02,080 Wipe him down with a tea towel. 125 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,130 Good. 126 00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:21,700 Hiya, Wayne. 127 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,160 Hello. How are you getting on with the new kid? 128 00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,190 I think he's going to like it. 129 00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:41,929 Now, I understand how this might be difficult for you. 130 00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:44,110 What? Working for me. 131 00:08:44,111 --> 00:08:46,769 Why should that be difficult? 132 00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:49,810 Well, I'm quite young and you're... 133 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,290 No problem. 134 00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:55,790 It's just for me being head of English. It's fine. 135 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,400 No, really, it's cool. 136 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:00,730 I'm cool. 137 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,800 So, if that's all... Actually, I wanted to ask about Year 7. 138 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:05,930 What about them? 139 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,740 How will you start them off this time? 140 00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:10,980 I guess I'll just do my usual thing. 141 00:09:11,611 --> 00:09:13,399 Which is? 142 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,520 The thing I usually do. 143 00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:17,080 I'm kind of asking for a bit more detail. 144 00:09:17,081 --> 00:09:19,979 You're asking me how I'm going to teach English to Year 7? 145 00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:24,100 Yes. You think I don't know how to teach English to Year 7? I'm sure you do. 146 00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:28,270 I'd just like to get an idea of how you're going to structure the first 147 00:09:28,271 --> 00:09:29,859 Well, Claire and I thought that... Claire? 148 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,339 You've been talking to Claire about me? 149 00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:34,479 Not just about you. But mainly about me. Mainly about the fact that, according 150 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,260 to you, I can't teach to save my fucking life. 151 00:09:37,261 --> 00:09:40,159 Honestly, she only wants... I can guess what she wanted. 152 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:40,739 Can you? 153 00:09:40,740 --> 00:09:42,360 I don't know why she's doing this. 154 00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:45,460 Doing what? She wants me out because she's jealous. 155 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,320 Has she told you about our affair? 156 00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:51,770 You and Claire? 157 00:09:52,150 --> 00:09:53,230 Best shag of her life. 158 00:09:53,231 --> 00:09:56,789 Probably thought she was going to get my cock on a plate this term as well, but 159 00:09:56,790 --> 00:10:01,209 then she hears that I'm getting married to a beautiful young girl, so she 160 00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:02,610 decides to get rid of me. 161 00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:06,749 So you're getting married? 162 00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:07,800 That's what I said. 163 00:10:08,050 --> 00:10:09,370 Who's the lucky lady? Why? 164 00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:14,449 Just, you know, someone says they're getting married. You ask who they're 165 00:10:14,450 --> 00:10:15,500 getting married to. 166 00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,070 She's called Fernanda. 167 00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:18,800 Oh, Fernanda. 168 00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:20,280 Want me to spell it? 169 00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:24,330 No. And yes, she's foreign, if that's your next question. 170 00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:26,090 Oh, where's she from? 171 00:10:26,330 --> 00:10:27,890 Do you mean where did I find her? 172 00:10:27,891 --> 00:10:31,389 Do you want to know the name of the city, the name of the fucking street, 173 00:10:31,390 --> 00:10:32,830 number of the fucking house? 174 00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:38,570 How about yes, sir? 175 00:10:43,830 --> 00:10:45,150 Oh, the next one's here. 176 00:10:45,650 --> 00:10:47,190 Sorry? Your next victim. 177 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,860 Oh, I don't need to be paying. Thanks. 178 00:10:51,571 --> 00:10:53,619 I get it. 179 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,279 Get what? 180 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,459 I thought he was asking everyone for their lesson plans, but no, no, it's 181 00:10:57,460 --> 00:11:01,010 me, the most experienced English teacher in the whole fucking school. 182 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,910 If he wants a fucking fight, he'll get a fucking fight. 183 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,450 Bastard! 184 00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,300 Don't give yourself a heart attack. 185 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,840 Why not? Who gives a shit if I die? 186 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,960 Are you guessing your fiancé might? 187 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,140 Fucking you, what a fucking creep! 188 00:11:17,570 --> 00:11:22,029 Fucking Claire thinks that he's going to help her to get rid of me. Well, I'll 189 00:11:22,030 --> 00:11:25,329 get rid of him. Then she won't have a head of English. And then they'll both 190 00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:29,150 sorry. If you get rid of Ewan, every woman in the school will want to kill 191 00:11:29,430 --> 00:11:30,850 Like they don't already. 192 00:11:31,890 --> 00:11:35,629 I'm going to get that fucker fired. I'll have him out of here before he knows 193 00:11:35,630 --> 00:11:36,680 what's hidden. 194 00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:41,450 So you put your name on your badge? 195 00:11:42,850 --> 00:11:43,900 Yeah. 196 00:11:44,510 --> 00:11:45,560 Put Ewan on mine. 197 00:11:45,561 --> 00:11:50,019 But you don't have Ewan on our badges just to confuse the new teachers. 198 00:11:50,020 --> 00:11:51,070 Yeah, that's funny. 199 00:11:51,671 --> 00:11:56,319 Please tell me you haven't been talking to people. 200 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:57,119 I'm sorry. 201 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,170 Three this morning. 202 00:11:58,171 --> 00:11:59,259 How about you? 203 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,960 What? How many have I spoken to? 204 00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:02,630 That would be none. 205 00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:03,910 Ah, never mind. 206 00:12:03,911 --> 00:12:07,019 You'll get a chance this evening, Lindsay and the family are coming to the 207 00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:10,639 You know their names? You know their names and they're coming to the pub? 208 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,720 Yeah. Did you invite them? 209 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,640 Would it matter if I did? 210 00:12:14,641 --> 00:12:15,899 So you did. 211 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,570 Oh! I was just telling them what our pub's called. 212 00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:20,700 And where it is. 213 00:12:20,930 --> 00:12:22,310 But they asked me questions. 214 00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:24,110 You didn't have to answer. 215 00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,730 At least they don't know where we smoke. 216 00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:28,460 No. 217 00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:29,750 This is where we smoke. 218 00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:41,030 They can't ignore us forever. 219 00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:42,340 No, they can't. 220 00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:44,710 Well, they could. 221 00:12:53,579 --> 00:12:54,629 Mr. Burkett. 222 00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:58,640 Since when was your first name Ewan? 223 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:01,920 We thought it might be funny. 224 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:07,020 We? Damien said we should all put... It's not funny. 225 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,530 It's pathetic. 226 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,330 What? 227 00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:14,390 Pathetic. 228 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,690 See? There's no point even trying to talk to these people. 229 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,100 Once again, your idea and I look like a twat. 230 00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:02,820 Is it over there? 231 00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:08,910 Or we could go over here. 232 00:14:10,270 --> 00:14:15,649 If I did talk to the blonde one, Penning, whatever, she'd think I was 233 00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:18,649 talking to her because I fancy her. There'd be nothing I could say to make 234 00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,690 think I didn't fancy her, apart from, I don't fancy you. 235 00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:24,940 Which wouldn't be a great way to start the conversation. 236 00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:31,220 So, two white wines, large brandy, pint of lager. 237 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,480 Oh, did I mention Claire's problem? 238 00:14:35,481 --> 00:14:37,939 Her being jealous of you getting married. 239 00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:39,340 Not that. No, she's also deaf. 240 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,540 Deaf. So you should speak up whenever you're with her. 241 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,360 Better still, shout. Shout as loud as you can. 242 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,180 No one else shouts at Claire. 243 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,440 Well, she'd like them to. 244 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,990 Yeah, she used to love it when I shouted. 245 00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:53,660 When you were having sex. 246 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,860 Look, forget about me having sex with Claire. 247 00:14:56,861 --> 00:15:01,559 I'm trying to help you. If you want to stay in Claire's good books, just shout. 248 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,280 As loud as you can. All the time. 249 00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,240 I think I'll wait till she asks me to. 250 00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:07,419 All right. 251 00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:08,470 You know this? 252 00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:10,220 Apparently. Baby. 253 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,130 My baby. 254 00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:16,270 Baby, son. 255 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:19,070 Can we talk about something else apart from babies? 256 00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:20,380 Photos. Oh, God. 257 00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:23,379 I'm going to make them talk to me. 258 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,079 Of course you are. 259 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,980 I am. Of course you are. I am. Of course you are. Oh, shut up. 260 00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:31,710 Hello? 261 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,460 She's there. 262 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,600 Isn't that a good idea, in your condition? 263 00:15:45,980 --> 00:15:47,600 What condition would that be? 264 00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:50,000 You're pregnant, aren't you? 265 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:51,810 No. 266 00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:53,590 I'm not pregnant. 267 00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,210 So, Bob, when are we going to meet your fiancée? 268 00:16:00,550 --> 00:16:03,090 Oh, soon, I expect. 269 00:16:03,091 --> 00:16:04,869 I don't even know what she's called. 270 00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:06,230 He doesn't like you asking. 271 00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:07,590 I don't mind her asking. 272 00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:13,090 She's called, um, Sunitra. I thought you said it was Fernanda. 273 00:16:14,430 --> 00:16:17,110 Ah, yeah, that's her first name. 274 00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:20,530 So her full name is Fernanda Sunitra. 275 00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:23,190 That was a bit of a mouthful. 276 00:16:25,630 --> 00:16:29,570 Your friends want you to go back to their table. Ah, so they're talking to 277 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,370 No, they gave me a note to send you and Bert to their table. 278 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:37,270 Right, um... See you later. 279 00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:43,710 What a wanker. You're not a wanker. His friend's a wanker. 280 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:47,089 Wanker or no wanker, I wouldn't get too attached to Ewan. 281 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,530 Won't be here for much longer. 282 00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:01,130 I can't stop now. 283 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:11,690 Oh, I can't slow down. 284 00:17:12,670 --> 00:17:15,650 There's no one in town. 285 00:17:16,650 --> 00:17:19,450 And I can't stop now. 286 00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:25,270 Did Sinanda Sunitra make your packed lunch? 287 00:17:25,589 --> 00:17:31,040 Why? Are you so obsessed with my fiancé? I'm just trying to build up a picture. 288 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:38,400 Thank you. 289 00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:42,660 A reminder that you should all be talking to each other. 290 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,020 Not now. 291 00:17:48,380 --> 00:17:52,279 I thought I made it clear yesterday. When you hear Carol clapping, that means 292 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,659 you stop what you're doing and listen. 293 00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:54,710 Mr. 294 00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,400 Porter. Shut up or get out. 295 00:17:58,320 --> 00:17:59,370 Preferably, though. 296 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,520 Oh, um, have you bought any biscuits yet? 297 00:18:05,521 --> 00:18:09,119 Biscuits? Yeah, Clare likes, uh, heads of department to buy biscuits for the 298 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:09,839 staff room. 299 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,699 Liz keeps a float in the top row of the desk. You just help yourself. 300 00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:13,800 Really? Oh, yes. 301 00:18:22,931 --> 00:18:27,659 You don't understand the phrase go fuck yourself? 302 00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:31,099 No. I don't understand why you're saying go fuck yourself when what I want is 303 00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:32,799 for you to photocopy these worksheets. 304 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:33,880 Have you said please? 305 00:18:33,881 --> 00:18:36,839 She won't help you unless you ask her really, really nicely. 306 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,220 I won't help. Full stop. 307 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:42,330 She may seem a little unfriendly at first, but I get much worse as time goes 308 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,540 How the fuck could you get worse? 309 00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:49,839 Have you tried asking Carol to be your photocopier? She's usually... Are you 310 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:50,890 going to do it? 311 00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:52,110 Yes or no? 312 00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:53,550 I'll give you a clue. 313 00:18:54,139 --> 00:18:55,220 It's not yet. 314 00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:01,620 Still not talking to you? 315 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:06,019 He might have done, if you hadn't have interrupted all the time. Well then, I 316 00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,360 should feel just awful. 317 00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,080 Yes, I don't. 318 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,420 You haven't said a word to me since I got here. 319 00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:22,220 I'm not leaving till you say something. 320 00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:26,110 Is it a good idea to smoke? 321 00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:29,450 Oh, fuck's sake, I'm not pregnant! 322 00:19:29,890 --> 00:19:30,940 I didn't say you were. 323 00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:33,820 I was just asking, is it a good idea to smoke? 324 00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:35,540 I can never decide. 325 00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:40,029 I like the taste of tobacco, and it helps cope with the stress of the job, 326 00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:43,669 then your anxiety level shoots up when you think about cancer. And I read 327 00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:46,229 there's some connection between smoking and sperm count. 328 00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:49,250 The more you smoke, the less your chance of having a baby. 329 00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:52,700 Not that I want one, but it might suddenly get broody when I'm 30. 330 00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:56,100 Can men get broody, or is that a woman -only type of thing? 331 00:19:56,890 --> 00:20:01,149 The reason you didn't speak to me before is that you knew you wouldn't be able 332 00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:03,620 to stop yourself from blabbering on and on and on. 333 00:20:03,621 --> 00:20:07,509 Well, I suppose that's part of the reason, but I was also thinking that... 334 00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,050 That's enough now. 335 00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:19,689 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 336 00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:22,700 I want the Jeff Gates. So you thought you'd steal some money? 337 00:20:22,899 --> 00:20:23,949 Steal? No. 338 00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:26,040 Of course Mr. Jones isn't stealing. 339 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,680 Then why is he holding my cash box? 340 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,460 Well, isn't that obvious? 341 00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:33,230 No. 342 00:20:33,231 --> 00:20:35,839 I went to buy some biscuits for the storefront. 343 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,959 Of course you did, and that's what you're floated for. 344 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,580 Could we have a word in my office? 345 00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:51,320 Yes, he's on the way out. 346 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:54,680 I doubt that very much. Why else would she call him in there? 347 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:59,279 She's reading in the riot act. I have to attend a governor's meeting tonight and 348 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,200 I'm not sure if these shoes go with my skirt. 349 00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:04,990 What do you think? 350 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,090 Shoes look fine to me. 351 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,940 Really? You like what you see? 352 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:13,930 Mm -hmm. 353 00:21:20,590 --> 00:21:22,110 Do you want to hear my theory? 354 00:21:22,710 --> 00:21:23,760 No. 355 00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:27,280 She fancies him. 356 00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:28,930 Fancies you and... Bollocks. 357 00:21:35,970 --> 00:21:37,020 Fuck! 358 00:21:37,021 --> 00:21:39,549 How dare you come in here when my red light is on? 359 00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:41,029 You haven't got a red light anymore. 360 00:21:41,030 --> 00:21:42,080 Get out! 361 00:21:42,450 --> 00:21:43,500 Not you. 362 00:21:50,071 --> 00:21:57,099 Well, Claire, fancy Ewan. Why wouldn't she fancy Ewan? We all fancy Ewan. 363 00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:57,899 Yeah, but why? 364 00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,160 Get him to be talking to me. 365 00:21:59,161 --> 00:22:00,519 Not Damien. 366 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,720 Ben. I can't work with Ewan. Can't you? Oh, well. 367 00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:05,920 Why is he talking to Ewan, not me? 368 00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:07,760 He's a very good judge of character. 369 00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:10,459 There's no way she's going to sack him if she wants to shag him. 370 00:22:10,460 --> 00:22:12,799 Who wants to shag you? Claire wants to shag Ewan. 371 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,440 Who doesn't? I fucking don't. 372 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,050 If Ben can talk to you, he can talk to me. 373 00:22:17,051 --> 00:22:20,379 Make him want to. Well, I don't care if he doesn't want to. I'll make him talk 374 00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:21,430 to me and Damien. 375 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:23,890 Ben talked to Damien. 376 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,290 I'll make Damien talk to me as well as Ben. 377 00:22:26,940 --> 00:22:31,099 What? Fuck it. If I can't get him sacked, I'll make him quit. I'll make 378 00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,579 think that everyone hates him. 379 00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:36,339 Or even better, I could actually make everybody hate him and then he'll be so 380 00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:40,140 fucking miserable that he'll fucking beg Claire to let him go. 381 00:22:41,931 --> 00:22:43,999 Night, Bob. 382 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,050 Night. 383 00:23:02,980 --> 00:23:04,030 Shit, 384 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:19,920 the blonde one's coming. 385 00:23:20,220 --> 00:23:21,270 I'll say hello. No. 386 00:23:21,660 --> 00:23:23,220 Every time I listen to the radio. 387 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,130 Hello. 388 00:23:53,930 --> 00:23:56,160 I still haven't ticked your name off my list. 389 00:23:56,830 --> 00:23:59,590 We could just talk about something for ten minutes. 390 00:24:00,930 --> 00:24:02,490 I don't even know what you teach. 391 00:24:02,710 --> 00:24:05,750 I'm waiting, Miss Neville. I think she wants you to shush. 392 00:24:06,050 --> 00:24:08,460 I made you talk to me. When you're quite finished. 393 00:24:08,890 --> 00:24:12,930 Sorry, I was just chatting to... Ewan. 394 00:24:13,890 --> 00:24:14,940 That's not your name. 395 00:24:14,970 --> 00:24:17,110 I was going to change it. I forgot. 396 00:24:17,470 --> 00:24:21,200 You wanted us to talk to everyone. I've decided to try something different. 397 00:24:21,550 --> 00:24:22,750 Something a little more... 398 00:24:24,139 --> 00:24:27,340 Intimate. A bonding night, which I'd like to have this evening. 399 00:24:27,820 --> 00:24:32,420 We can let our hair down, get rid of any inhibitions. 400 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,790 What if you already have plans for this evening? 401 00:24:35,791 --> 00:24:37,679 Do you have plans for this evening? 402 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,160 Yes. What? 403 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,180 I'm seeing people. 404 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:43,550 Who? 405 00:24:43,860 --> 00:24:46,920 OK, I'm not seeing people, but I might have been. 406 00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:50,050 Does anyone have any genuine plans for this evening? 407 00:24:51,820 --> 00:24:52,870 Anyone? 408 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,050 No one? 409 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,640 Good. I expect to see all of you in the pub at 7 .30. 410 00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:00,750 Thank you. 411 00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:08,980 So, what were your plans? 412 00:25:09,380 --> 00:25:11,320 A night out with Sunanda Sunitra? 413 00:25:11,580 --> 00:25:14,420 Look, you don't have to use her full name all the time. 414 00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:16,280 OK, what do you call her? 415 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:18,290 Schnoodle. 416 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,240 Do you see any tapas there? 417 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:21,620 A couple of words. 418 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,799 Seven words. More than we got out of Damien. More than you got out of Damien. 419 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,850 haven't tried yet. More than seven words. 420 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,400 Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. 421 00:25:29,401 --> 00:25:32,159 Do you want to get the English department meeting? 422 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:33,900 No, of course not. I'll see you there. 423 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,080 Oh, yeah. I'll be there. 424 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:39,970 He's late. 425 00:25:41,180 --> 00:25:42,320 He's five minutes late. 426 00:25:43,620 --> 00:25:45,340 I think you're taking a pic. 427 00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:50,019 I mean, he makes us turn up for a meeting we don't really need and then he 428 00:25:50,020 --> 00:25:51,500 us hanging around for hours. 429 00:25:51,501 --> 00:25:52,739 Five minutes. 430 00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:53,820 Getting on for an hour. 431 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,000 I mean, is it just me that feels insulted? 432 00:25:59,660 --> 00:26:02,080 Ah, come on, let's go. He's obviously forgotten. 433 00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:03,600 Sorry. Sorry. 434 00:26:03,601 --> 00:26:07,439 Thought it might be nice to have some coffee and croissants. 435 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,490 I'd prefer tea. 436 00:26:08,820 --> 00:26:11,050 Did he ask anyone if they'd rather have tea? 437 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:12,570 Oh, it's a bit hot. 438 00:26:13,580 --> 00:26:14,960 But you don't burn yourself. 439 00:26:23,150 --> 00:26:24,230 I'm not pregnant. 440 00:26:25,070 --> 00:26:27,150 I can get the told you I was, but I'm not. 441 00:26:30,650 --> 00:26:32,470 I was just wearing a baggy T -shirt. 442 00:26:34,770 --> 00:26:37,120 I need three or four volunteers to come with it. 443 00:26:38,250 --> 00:26:44,189 What? Sorry, maybe I'm being a bit thick here, but are you actually asking us to 444 00:26:44,190 --> 00:26:46,410 give up our spare time on a Saturday? 445 00:26:46,411 --> 00:26:50,789 I think it's important for the kids to see Shakespeare performed live. They're 446 00:26:50,790 --> 00:26:51,840 in a proper theatre. 447 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,090 On a Saturday. 448 00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:54,430 It's a map, innit? 449 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:58,439 Well, I doubt you'll find anyone who's willing to travel to Stratford on a 450 00:26:58,440 --> 00:26:59,490 fucking Saturday. 451 00:27:01,260 --> 00:27:02,460 Anyone fancy the trip? 452 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:10,650 Great. 453 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,210 Is it better to smoke in here or outside? 454 00:27:22,220 --> 00:27:23,270 What do you mean? 455 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,810 I was just thinking about your health. Well, my health, really. 456 00:27:27,340 --> 00:27:29,630 I thought maybe it's better to smoke outside. 457 00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:30,950 Unless it's raining. 458 00:27:31,220 --> 00:27:33,510 Why? The fresh air would dilute the nicotine. 459 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:38,180 But then if it's wet, we'd run the risk of catching a cold. Or pneumonia. 460 00:27:38,660 --> 00:27:41,550 You have to balance that against a lower nicotine intake. 461 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,500 I wouldn't be a lower nicotine intake. 462 00:27:43,980 --> 00:27:45,140 How can you be so sure? 463 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,600 Because, A, I'm not stupid, and B, I teach biology. 464 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,970 But if we were standing on grass, Or near a bush. 465 00:27:53,290 --> 00:27:55,820 Wouldn't there be extra oxygen floating around? 466 00:27:56,230 --> 00:27:58,700 I'm guessing you don't teach science of any kind. 467 00:27:59,270 --> 00:28:00,320 May you know. 468 00:28:01,570 --> 00:28:02,620 What do you teach? 469 00:28:04,710 --> 00:28:05,760 Nothing important. 470 00:28:06,470 --> 00:28:07,710 Tell me. No. 471 00:28:08,490 --> 00:28:09,540 Okay. 472 00:28:10,150 --> 00:28:12,070 Tell me something else about yourself. 473 00:28:12,870 --> 00:28:13,920 Like what? 474 00:28:14,450 --> 00:28:15,500 Surprise me. 475 00:28:16,650 --> 00:28:17,970 I was bullied as a child. 476 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,330 and also as an adult. 477 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,000 That surprised me. 478 00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:32,620 So, who's doing A -level English? 479 00:28:32,621 --> 00:28:34,119 All of us. 480 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,170 One. 481 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,880 I was hoping you might like to help me. 482 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,210 Help you? 483 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:40,570 I don't think so. 484 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:41,890 I'm willing to pay. 485 00:28:41,891 --> 00:28:43,559 What for? 486 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:47,000 I want you to ignore Mr. Doherty in your next English lesson. 487 00:28:47,820 --> 00:28:49,500 I want you to just stare at him. 488 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,090 Just like that. 489 00:28:53,140 --> 00:28:54,980 But, uh, don't say a word. 490 00:28:55,540 --> 00:28:59,319 Well... Doesn't matter why not. The important thing is that I am willing to 491 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:00,440 for your silence. 492 00:29:02,100 --> 00:29:03,150 One pound. 493 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:05,980 Each five pounds. 494 00:29:06,580 --> 00:29:07,630 Each. 495 00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:10,430 There's ten of you. 496 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,800 So, I need fifty pounds. 497 00:29:14,801 --> 00:29:16,439 Can you let me lend you the money? 498 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:17,359 I'll pay you back tomorrow. 499 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:18,299 You won't have to. 500 00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:21,730 Because you can wait a bit longer? Because I won't lend you the money. 501 00:29:21,830 --> 00:29:22,880 Please? 502 00:29:23,210 --> 00:29:26,889 I've got to pay from year 13 to ignore Ewan. Why are you telling me what you 503 00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:29,389 need the money for when I've just said to you that I won't give you any? 504 00:29:29,390 --> 00:29:31,560 I thought you might change your mind. Wrong. 505 00:29:35,110 --> 00:29:36,590 You lend me 50 quid? No. 506 00:29:37,370 --> 00:29:38,420 I can. 507 00:29:39,290 --> 00:29:41,310 Right, to pay for some repairs. 508 00:29:41,311 --> 00:29:42,849 You're my wife? 509 00:29:42,850 --> 00:29:45,690 Yeah. Your bike's fine. I saw you riding it this morning. 510 00:29:46,690 --> 00:29:50,610 I don't mean my motorbike. I mean my shoes. 511 00:29:53,060 --> 00:29:54,110 Yeah. 512 00:29:54,340 --> 00:29:55,390 No. 513 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,270 I've got some other shoes that need repairing. 514 00:29:58,440 --> 00:29:59,960 It's going to cost you 50 quid. 515 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:02,580 Handmade. Leather. 516 00:30:02,860 --> 00:30:09,679 With very expensive shiny bits that have to be stuck back on two other 517 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:10,730 bits. 518 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,620 There you go. Thank you very much. 519 00:30:16,460 --> 00:30:17,540 Damien's waving at me. 520 00:30:18,420 --> 00:30:20,160 I'd say he's waving at me, actually. 521 00:30:20,500 --> 00:30:21,940 Oi, Ewan. 522 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,060 Actually, I think it's me. 523 00:30:26,340 --> 00:30:27,390 See you later. 524 00:30:29,220 --> 00:30:30,270 Gullible tosser. 525 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,610 Is it right that anyone that stupid should be head of English? 526 00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:34,750 Well, you were. 527 00:30:35,531 --> 00:30:40,839 You must have been called a lot of names when you were a kid. 528 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:46,140 No. No one called you Patty, Fatso, Piggy, Big Fat Pig? No. 529 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,820 No one ever dared call me one like that. 530 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,050 And why would they? 531 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:57,090 Was Jesus a man? 532 00:30:57,580 --> 00:30:59,260 Good question. What's the answer? 533 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:01,770 How should I know? 534 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:07,340 I am not a fucking Christian. I keep this bollocks. I don't believe it. 535 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:11,150 I'm not saying there's anything to be ashamed of if you are a Christian. 536 00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,050 Actually, I am saying there's something to be ashamed of. 537 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,130 And I agree. 538 00:31:16,220 --> 00:31:18,020 So you don't mind me taking the piss? 539 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:19,920 No. You forgive me? 540 00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:21,470 Yes. 541 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:23,720 It's very Christian of you. 542 00:31:25,220 --> 00:31:26,660 I am not a fucking Christian. 543 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,250 If the ogre was black, you wouldn't call him a racist. 544 00:31:31,251 --> 00:31:34,879 Have you ever done this the other way around, with Othello as a white man and 545 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:35,960 the others all black? 546 00:31:36,620 --> 00:31:40,539 Well, I've never seen a production like that myself, but, yeah, it's an 547 00:31:40,540 --> 00:31:41,590 interesting idea. 548 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,040 What the fuck were you doing in there? 549 00:31:50,380 --> 00:31:51,430 Discussing Othello. 550 00:31:51,431 --> 00:31:54,809 You were discussing. Well, you weren't meant to discuss. I paid you for no 551 00:31:54,810 --> 00:31:55,950 discussing. So? 552 00:31:56,330 --> 00:31:58,890 So I want my money back. I can't see that happening. 553 00:31:59,130 --> 00:32:00,180 Can you? 554 00:32:19,251 --> 00:32:22,089 Is that why you've been hiding? 555 00:32:22,090 --> 00:32:26,330 We've been looking all over the... What's your favourite colour? 556 00:32:26,790 --> 00:32:27,930 What's your star sign? 557 00:32:27,931 --> 00:32:29,469 He's not going to tell us that. 558 00:32:29,470 --> 00:32:31,150 He's not going to tell us anything. 559 00:32:31,210 --> 00:32:32,260 Come on. 560 00:32:41,030 --> 00:32:42,080 Hello? 561 00:32:44,350 --> 00:32:49,030 Come on, this isn't difficult. Does Mrs Burling feel any guilt? 562 00:32:51,500 --> 00:32:53,200 What does she tell the inspector? 563 00:32:55,340 --> 00:33:00,180 Is he a real police inspector or someone who is just pissing around? 564 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:08,000 He is paying you to do this, isn't he? Mr Doherty is paying you not to talk. 565 00:33:08,060 --> 00:33:14,900 Well, if he is paying you less than five pounds, you are being shortchanged. 566 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:17,800 Look, I know what you're doing. 567 00:33:18,220 --> 00:33:20,270 I just need one of you to tell me I'm right. 568 00:33:20,780 --> 00:33:21,830 Well. 569 00:34:59,170 --> 00:35:00,730 I don't think you need stitches. 570 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:02,900 Big plaster should do it. 571 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,070 Well, are you going to give me a big plaster? 572 00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:12,750 No, why should I? 573 00:35:12,751 --> 00:35:14,659 Because you're in charge of first aid. 574 00:35:14,660 --> 00:35:18,479 Yeah. But if the new teachers think they can come to me every time they hurt 575 00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,650 themselves, I won't get a moment to myself. 576 00:35:21,860 --> 00:35:22,940 What happened to you? 577 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:24,530 I fell over. 578 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,330 I heard you were pissing in Ewan's waste paper bin. 579 00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:30,310 Well, if you know what happened, why bother to ask? 580 00:35:30,311 --> 00:35:33,609 Because I want to know why you were pissing in Ewan's waist nipper bin. It 581 00:35:33,610 --> 00:35:34,660 on fire. 582 00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:39,150 I've no idea what caused the fire. So it wasn't you, then? 583 00:35:39,311 --> 00:35:41,829 Could have been anything. 584 00:35:41,830 --> 00:35:43,690 Anyone. Yeah, it was you. 585 00:35:44,570 --> 00:35:46,630 Oh, she's going to sack me. 586 00:35:47,510 --> 00:35:48,890 Oh, I'm up to the pub. 587 00:35:48,891 --> 00:35:50,449 Shall I tell Claire you're thick? 588 00:35:50,450 --> 00:35:53,640 Tell the bitch I'm in the pub. She can sack me in there if she likes. 589 00:35:56,150 --> 00:35:57,350 Shall we go with him? 590 00:35:58,390 --> 00:36:00,090 Just in case he falls over or... 591 00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:01,460 Tops himself. 592 00:36:08,310 --> 00:36:09,360 Bastards. 593 00:36:10,410 --> 00:36:11,460 Fucking bastards. 594 00:36:14,990 --> 00:36:18,330 Are you talking about people you know? Or is this a general rant? 595 00:36:18,590 --> 00:36:19,640 I don't rant. 596 00:36:20,350 --> 00:36:22,890 Really? You look like a ranter. Fuck off. 597 00:36:23,750 --> 00:36:24,800 I wish I could. 598 00:36:25,190 --> 00:36:27,360 But I've still got most of me pint to finish. 599 00:36:28,490 --> 00:36:29,690 What are you doing here? 600 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:33,260 Thinking, reading, and hiding. 601 00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:35,290 Hiding from who? 602 00:36:35,720 --> 00:36:37,960 From the fat girl and the blonde one. 603 00:36:38,300 --> 00:36:39,360 They're stalking me. 604 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:42,930 Bastards. 605 00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:44,710 Fucking bastards. 606 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:50,380 Dare ones to sack me. 607 00:36:50,381 --> 00:36:56,219 So you thought coming here and getting pissed would stop Cleb from having a 608 00:36:56,220 --> 00:36:57,270 reason to sack you? 609 00:36:57,390 --> 00:37:00,520 Oh, she's got her fucking reason already, that fucking bitch. 610 00:37:01,130 --> 00:37:03,510 She does seem like a fucking bitch. 611 00:37:03,770 --> 00:37:04,820 She's waiting for me. 612 00:37:05,490 --> 00:37:08,800 Rubbing her hands with glee, jumping up and down with excitement. 613 00:37:09,150 --> 00:37:11,390 Laughing at the fact that she can fire me. 614 00:37:12,070 --> 00:37:13,310 I'm sure that's not true. 615 00:37:26,451 --> 00:37:31,679 They're too fucking clean, aren't they, gentlemen? 616 00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,160 They're too fucking clean and they're too fucking blonde. 617 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:39,600 Too fucking neat and tidy and arrogant. 618 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,120 Very pleased with themselves. 619 00:37:42,900 --> 00:37:49,739 I am a strong, successful woman and you are a pathetic little 620 00:37:49,740 --> 00:37:53,140 man. Who the fuck do they think they are? 621 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:54,570 Fuck them. 622 00:37:54,740 --> 00:37:55,790 Yeah. 623 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:57,440 Fuck them all. 624 00:38:16,371 --> 00:38:20,399 I'm going to put you in a difficult position. 625 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,700 What sort of position? 626 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:23,440 I'm getting rid of Bob. 627 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:26,460 Oh. Why? 628 00:38:26,461 --> 00:38:30,579 I caught him urinating in your waste paper bin, having just set fire to your 629 00:38:30,580 --> 00:38:31,630 office. No. 630 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:32,970 Very fair. 631 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:37,160 Now, I realise your department will be under strength for a while. 632 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:41,560 But arson is a flakable offence. 633 00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:43,300 Yeah. Right. 634 00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:47,240 Are you sure it was Bob who started the fires? 635 00:38:48,060 --> 00:38:49,320 Cool, Pam. Why do you ask? 636 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,960 Well, I think it could have been me. 637 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:53,660 I'm sure it wasn't. 638 00:38:53,661 --> 00:38:55,239 Actually, it might have been. 639 00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:58,939 Sometimes I have a quick fag in my office and put the stuff in the bin when 640 00:38:58,940 --> 00:38:59,990 finished. 641 00:39:00,460 --> 00:39:03,170 I only keep forgetting to make sure it's out properly. 642 00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:05,920 I had a few accidents last term. 643 00:39:07,660 --> 00:39:08,860 What sort of accidents? 644 00:39:09,740 --> 00:39:10,790 Fires. 645 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,400 A couple of small ones and quite a big one. 646 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,440 And a couple of others. 647 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:20,200 Five. You know, we only had to call the fire brigade twice. 648 00:39:22,580 --> 00:39:24,740 You set fire to your bin five times? 649 00:39:25,260 --> 00:39:26,440 Yeah, I'm afraid so. 650 00:39:26,660 --> 00:39:28,830 So I guess that means you'll have to sack me. 651 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:30,640 Don't be so silly. 652 00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:36,740 But you just said it's a sackable offence. I said sacking was an option. 653 00:39:36,741 --> 00:39:40,939 But not if there's absence of malice. You didn't intend to start the fire, did 654 00:39:40,940 --> 00:39:41,990 you? No. 655 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,800 Well, there you are then. You can stay. 656 00:39:44,900 --> 00:39:45,950 Right. 657 00:39:46,990 --> 00:39:49,040 Good. Will you have a look in your office? 658 00:39:49,650 --> 00:39:54,290 If Bob urinated all over the carpet, I could suspend him or something. 659 00:39:54,750 --> 00:39:57,710 OK, I'll let you know. Bye. 660 00:40:40,401 --> 00:40:47,389 I know you want to sack me, but I'm not going to give you the satisfaction. 661 00:40:47,390 --> 00:40:48,810 I'm not going to sack you. 662 00:40:49,230 --> 00:40:50,280 What? 663 00:40:51,061 --> 00:40:52,949 Why not? 664 00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:55,420 Your head of department says he started the fire. 665 00:40:55,430 --> 00:40:59,489 Does he? I'd like to discipline you for waving your penis around and urinating 666 00:40:59,490 --> 00:41:02,740 on school property, but I'm afraid you get off on a technicality. 667 00:41:02,750 --> 00:41:03,800 What technicality? 668 00:41:04,570 --> 00:41:05,930 You were putting out a fire. 669 00:41:06,990 --> 00:41:09,690 A fire that Ewan says he started? 670 00:41:10,130 --> 00:41:11,180 Yes. 671 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,980 Well, don't bother to buzz me out. 672 00:41:19,700 --> 00:41:20,750 I'm off to the pub. 673 00:41:22,140 --> 00:41:25,330 Everyone's going to want to buy me a drink for saving the school. 674 00:41:28,620 --> 00:41:30,120 I'm a fucking hero! 675 00:41:32,540 --> 00:41:34,530 I bet you want to know what these are for. 676 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,130 No. 677 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:40,919 Claire's first game involves parking these from person to person without 678 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:41,970 your hand. 679 00:41:41,971 --> 00:41:45,369 You see, that's why I didn't want to know what these are for. 680 00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:47,110 I was afraid you'd say what you said. 681 00:41:47,430 --> 00:41:49,970 And now, I want to go home. Well, go home then. 682 00:41:49,971 --> 00:41:52,309 Wouldn't I get into trouble? 683 00:41:52,310 --> 00:41:54,510 Yes. That's why I'd like you to go. 684 00:41:54,830 --> 00:41:57,120 You're not very nice. You're very perceptive. 685 00:41:59,170 --> 00:42:00,770 Jesus Christ, it's hot in here. 686 00:42:01,610 --> 00:42:02,750 I mean, Jesus. 687 00:42:03,130 --> 00:42:05,300 Is that blasphemy supposed to impress me? 688 00:42:05,510 --> 00:42:06,560 I'm not a Christian. 689 00:42:06,561 --> 00:42:07,869 That's what you keep saying. 690 00:42:07,870 --> 00:42:09,610 What can I do to make you believe me? 691 00:42:09,611 --> 00:42:12,769 You can get me two large whiskeys, three pints of lager and a glass of white 692 00:42:12,770 --> 00:42:13,709 wine. 693 00:42:13,710 --> 00:42:14,760 OK. 694 00:42:15,830 --> 00:42:19,350 By the way, did Ewan start some players in his office last term? 695 00:42:19,570 --> 00:42:20,620 Yeah, quite a few. 696 00:42:20,621 --> 00:42:23,229 Kept forgetting to stub out his cigarettes. 697 00:42:23,230 --> 00:42:26,929 I kept saying, Jesus Christ, you... Oh, you can stop with the J word now, I 698 00:42:26,930 --> 00:42:27,980 believe you. 699 00:42:28,530 --> 00:42:29,580 Don't go for that. 700 00:42:31,390 --> 00:42:32,590 How's it going, big man? 701 00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:35,960 Apart from being called big man, it's going just fine. 702 00:42:35,961 --> 00:42:39,289 Is that what's -an -handed -thing -of -me calls you? Yeah. 703 00:42:39,290 --> 00:42:40,610 She calls me lots of things. 704 00:42:41,110 --> 00:42:42,160 Such as? 705 00:42:42,161 --> 00:42:47,129 Well, to be honest, I don't even know what half of it means. She just talks 706 00:42:47,130 --> 00:42:48,009 own language a lot. 707 00:42:48,010 --> 00:42:48,669 What's that? 708 00:42:48,670 --> 00:42:49,720 What? 709 00:42:50,010 --> 00:42:51,810 Her own language? Where's she from? 710 00:42:52,210 --> 00:42:53,260 Thailand. 711 00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:54,580 How did you meet her? 712 00:42:54,810 --> 00:42:59,310 Well, you know... Come on. 713 00:43:00,070 --> 00:43:01,120 You can tell me. 714 00:43:03,630 --> 00:43:05,130 Yeah, we're mates, aren't we? 715 00:43:05,290 --> 00:43:06,430 What am I to do, then? 716 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,620 Tell each other secrets and they keep their secrets. 717 00:43:09,621 --> 00:43:11,759 They don't tell all the other fuckers. 718 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,260 Yeah, yeah, let's hear it then. 719 00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:14,900 Well, technically, 720 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,220 I'm not actually engaged. 721 00:43:18,180 --> 00:43:23,900 Not yet, but, yeah, I've got a short list of 12 possible fiancées. 722 00:43:24,180 --> 00:43:27,430 Fernanda is my favourite, but I need one more look at the website. 723 00:43:27,431 --> 00:43:31,299 You're talking about Thai brides on the internet? They're not all Thai. There's 724 00:43:31,300 --> 00:43:35,480 Russians, Poles, Croatians. Who's fit there at your computer? 725 00:43:36,259 --> 00:43:39,569 looking at their photos and deciding which one you'd like to show. 726 00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:41,340 No, no, which one I'd like to marry. 727 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:42,530 Same thing. 728 00:43:42,740 --> 00:43:43,790 Are you naked? 729 00:43:44,340 --> 00:43:45,740 What? Are you computer? 730 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,640 I'm just trying to picture the scene. 731 00:43:51,740 --> 00:43:54,420 Actually, I don't want to picture the scene. 732 00:43:56,380 --> 00:43:59,450 If you'll excuse me, I think I'll find someone else to talk to. 733 00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:03,100 Someone a little less... you. 734 00:44:03,101 --> 00:44:06,129 What's your problem? I thought you liked me. 735 00:44:06,130 --> 00:44:08,300 I told you all that incompetence. I told you. 736 00:44:09,330 --> 00:44:10,530 Fucking wanker. 737 00:44:10,930 --> 00:44:12,790 You're all wankers. It doesn't matter. 738 00:44:13,130 --> 00:44:15,840 Don't fuck yourself. You look like you enjoy yourself. 739 00:44:16,010 --> 00:44:17,390 What are you talking about? 740 00:44:17,391 --> 00:44:18,949 I want to get away from him. 741 00:44:18,950 --> 00:44:20,269 You think you're better than me? 742 00:44:20,270 --> 00:44:21,320 Yeah. 743 00:44:22,550 --> 00:44:26,729 Claire, just try to put this down my chest. I'm the daddy. I'm the fucking 744 00:44:26,730 --> 00:44:28,290 daddy. You can all fuck off. 745 00:44:28,730 --> 00:44:29,810 I've had enough of Bob. 746 00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:33,919 Who, by the way, doesn't actually have a fiancée? What? I've no sin and a 747 00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,759 sinitra. Oh, she exists, but she's not engaged to Bob because Bob hasn't 748 00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,219 actually asked her to marry him. 749 00:44:39,220 --> 00:44:40,580 Or actually spoken to her. 750 00:44:40,900 --> 00:44:46,279 Or actually met her. You see, what he's been doing, actually, is ordering a wife 751 00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:47,330 off a website. 752 00:44:47,700 --> 00:44:49,000 Oh, Herbert. 753 00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:52,390 Now, he told me all that in strict confidence. 754 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,360 So feel free to tell anyone you like. 755 00:44:54,740 --> 00:44:55,790 Oi, Balder! 756 00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,600 Who the fuck did that? 757 00:45:09,270 --> 00:45:10,320 Must be your round. 758 00:45:10,790 --> 00:45:11,840 I don't think so. 759 00:45:12,050 --> 00:45:14,550 Are we talking to everyone now? Except for Bob. 760 00:45:14,890 --> 00:45:16,630 What if we don't want to talk to you? 761 00:45:16,631 --> 00:45:18,089 Of course you want to talk to us. 762 00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:19,529 Who else are you going to talk to? 763 00:45:19,530 --> 00:45:20,509 Each other. 764 00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:22,510 Don't talk to me. Or me. Why not? 765 00:45:22,810 --> 00:45:24,740 I'm bored of talking to you. Talk to him. 766 00:45:24,850 --> 00:45:25,900 Why not me? 767 00:45:25,901 --> 00:45:27,629 Because I know quite enough about you. 768 00:45:27,630 --> 00:45:29,079 Is anyone going to get a fucking round? 769 00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:33,630 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 57118

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