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1
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Have you lost weight?
2
00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:09,360
No. Are you wearing contact lenses?
3
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No.
4
00:00:13,060 --> 00:00:14,220
Well, I give in.
5
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Definitely something different.
6
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I'll tell you what's different.
7
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I'm different.
8
00:00:20,540 --> 00:00:23,420
You are looking at the new, improved
Bob.
9
00:00:23,421 --> 00:00:26,619
Is that what I'm looking at? You know
what I thought when they shut down the
10
00:00:26,620 --> 00:00:30,600
school? No, I thought, here's a chance
to make a fresh start.
11
00:00:30,601 --> 00:00:33,579
And do you know what I thought when I
didn't get head of English at the new
12
00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:34,630
school? What?
13
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:39,029
What? No, no. Okay, there's not enough
kids to justify two schools in the same
14
00:00:39,030 --> 00:00:40,029
catchment area.
15
00:00:40,030 --> 00:00:42,690
One school means one head of English.
16
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,430
And if that's not me, well, that's cool.
17
00:00:45,970 --> 00:00:48,750
Cool? Yeah, it's time for someone else
to be the man.
18
00:00:49,010 --> 00:00:50,060
I can chill now.
19
00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:54,150
Since when? Since I became the new Bob.
And I think you'll love the new Bob,
20
00:00:54,230 --> 00:00:57,910
because he's a laugh, he's laid back,
and he likes to hang with the guys.
21
00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,150
Doesn't new Bob ever get a rounding?
22
00:01:00,470 --> 00:01:04,629
And, of course, the best thing about new
Bob...
23
00:01:04,830 --> 00:01:07,530
He's new Bob's new wife.
24
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I'm sorry.
25
00:01:12,110 --> 00:01:13,790
Yeah, got myself a young,
26
00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:16,690
gorgeous... Blind?
27
00:01:17,130 --> 00:01:18,180
No. Who is she?
28
00:01:18,470 --> 00:01:20,270
Here come the questions.
29
00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:21,930
What's she called?
30
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,450
Where did you meet her?
31
00:01:23,870 --> 00:01:25,230
What's she like in bed?
32
00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:32,330
Are you getting the drinks in or not?
33
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,360
Hey, you know what we should do?
34
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,060
What? Go and see Brian and Kurt. Oh, and
Matt.
35
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,450
Matt?
36
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,060
Do we know anyone called Matt?
37
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,780
Wish us luck for tomorrow.
38
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,520
Sorry you're not, you know, alive.
39
00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:01,510
What are you doing?
40
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,080
Oh, I don't look like I'm doing.
41
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:04,570
Scatting. Yeah.
42
00:02:05,220 --> 00:02:08,890
It's the sort of thing you should only
do to a pathetic bastard, isn't it?
43
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,960
And he goes, pull him back on our
horsey. Fucking nice.
44
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,720
He's been fucking wise.
45
00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,660
He's been fucking widow now.
46
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,540
I'm not going to sit on Kurt.
47
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:19,850
Oh, go on.
48
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:21,780
He does love that.
49
00:03:06,130 --> 00:03:08,099
No I
50
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:32,319
don't
51
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,800
like them you haven't even talked to
them yet Take time if I don't.
52
00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:43,510
Oh.
53
00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:47,630
I know.
54
00:03:47,631 --> 00:03:48,719
You're here.
55
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:49,770
Of course.
56
00:03:49,820 --> 00:03:51,640
I was hoping you'd change your mind.
57
00:03:56,260 --> 00:03:57,310
Oi.
58
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,880
You offered a very generous redundancy
package.
59
00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:03,480
I'm too young to retire.
60
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:07,970
want you here.
61
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,560
What are you trying to say?
62
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:14,320
I'm trying to say I don't want you here.
63
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:16,958
What do you mean, in this room?
64
00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:18,009
In this school.
65
00:04:18,940 --> 00:04:20,020
Why? What have I done?
66
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:21,850
Nothing.
67
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,290
Yet.
68
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:30,139
But if I hear you've made one mistake,
if you turn up late, or you fail to make
69
00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:34,050
progress, or you refuse to give your
full support to your head of department,
70
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,290
you're out.
71
00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:37,240
No warning, no second chance.
72
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,090
Out.
73
00:05:07,331 --> 00:05:12,539
Forgetting to know our new colleagues by
ignoring them.
74
00:05:12,540 --> 00:05:14,860
To be honest, it doesn't seem to work.
Hey!
75
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,040
I haven't got a pigeonhole.
76
00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:20,719
That's because Claire told me not to
give you a pigeonhole.
77
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,280
I gather you'll be leaving soon.
78
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:24,740
That's the head of English.
79
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:25,970
Over there.
80
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:27,910
Gorgeous.
81
00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:30,870
Gorgeous?
82
00:05:31,321 --> 00:05:34,879
Don't you want to speak to new people?
83
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:36,260
Who would I want to speak to?
84
00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:38,020
The fat bloke in the wig.
85
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,500
No, I don't want to speak to the fat
bloke in the wig. Why not? Two reasons.
86
00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:43,710
One, he's fat.
87
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,200
Two, he's in a wig.
88
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:46,880
And what about the fat girl?
89
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:49,640
I never waste my time with the obese.
90
00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:51,340
The blonde one's not fat.
91
00:05:51,341 --> 00:05:52,519
Oh, this is stupid.
92
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,380
I'm going to mingle. It's not a party.
93
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,260
You can't mingle in a darkroom.
94
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:58,360
The fat girl's coming.
95
00:05:58,361 --> 00:06:00,859
Look at me. We're talking about
something important.
96
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,040
Hello, I'm Lindsay.
97
00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,000
Hi, I'm Ewan, the head of English.
98
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,700
This is Ben and Damien.
99
00:06:07,070 --> 00:06:09,650
Did we go there last Friday? Or was it
Thursday?
100
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:12,110
Um, Friday, I think.
101
00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:22,749
Shut the fuck
102
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:23,800
up!
103
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:29,330
In future, when Carol claps, you stop
talking.
104
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,790
I hate that woman.
105
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,180
Which one?
106
00:06:33,230 --> 00:06:34,280
All of them.
107
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,330
I'm aware there can be problems when two
schools merge.
108
00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:42,379
Those of us from Summerdown may feel
like intruders, but I'm sure our new
109
00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:44,240
colleagues will make us feel welcome.
110
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,860
To help with the amalgamation, I'd like
you all to wear name tags.
111
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:54,790
I'd also like you to have a conversation
with any teacher you don't know.
112
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:58,880
Take a staff list from Liz and tick the
names off.
113
00:06:59,540 --> 00:07:00,590
Thank you.
114
00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:22,550
I would like the summer dance students
to integrate with the rest of the class.
115
00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:27,269
So everyone over there, pick up their
books and move across and sit next to
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00:07:27,270 --> 00:07:28,320
somebody over there.
117
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:47,110
It's much better.
118
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,620
Why don't you stir it where you can see
it? In your lap?
119
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:52,950
It's hot.
120
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:54,450
Fucking hell!
121
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:56,550
Shit!
122
00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:58,890
Sorry.
123
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:00,350
Oi, Baldi.
124
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:02,080
Wipe him down with a tea towel.
125
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,130
Good.
126
00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:21,700
Hiya, Wayne.
127
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,160
Hello. How are you getting on with the
new kid?
128
00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:33,190
I think he's going to like it.
129
00:08:36,429 --> 00:08:41,929
Now, I understand how this might be
difficult for you.
130
00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:44,110
What? Working for me.
131
00:08:44,111 --> 00:08:46,769
Why should that be difficult?
132
00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:49,810
Well, I'm quite young and you're...
133
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,290
No problem.
134
00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:55,790
It's just for me being head of English.
It's fine.
135
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,400
No, really, it's cool.
136
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:00,730
I'm cool.
137
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:03,800
So, if that's all... Actually, I wanted
to ask about Year 7.
138
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:05,930
What about them?
139
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,740
How will you start them off this time?
140
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:10,980
I guess I'll just do my usual thing.
141
00:09:11,611 --> 00:09:13,399
Which is?
142
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:14,520
The thing I usually do.
143
00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:17,080
I'm kind of asking for a bit more
detail.
144
00:09:17,081 --> 00:09:19,979
You're asking me how I'm going to teach
English to Year 7?
145
00:09:19,980 --> 00:09:24,100
Yes. You think I don't know how to teach
English to Year 7? I'm sure you do.
146
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:28,270
I'd just like to get an idea of how
you're going to structure the first
147
00:09:28,271 --> 00:09:29,859
Well, Claire and I thought that...
Claire?
148
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,339
You've been talking to Claire about me?
149
00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:34,479
Not just about you. But mainly about me.
Mainly about the fact that, according
150
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:37,260
to you, I can't teach to save my fucking
life.
151
00:09:37,261 --> 00:09:40,159
Honestly, she only wants... I can guess
what she wanted.
152
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:40,739
Can you?
153
00:09:40,740 --> 00:09:42,360
I don't know why she's doing this.
154
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:45,460
Doing what? She wants me out because
she's jealous.
155
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,320
Has she told you about our affair?
156
00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:51,770
You and Claire?
157
00:09:52,150 --> 00:09:53,230
Best shag of her life.
158
00:09:53,231 --> 00:09:56,789
Probably thought she was going to get my
cock on a plate this term as well, but
159
00:09:56,790 --> 00:10:01,209
then she hears that I'm getting married
to a beautiful young girl, so she
160
00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:02,610
decides to get rid of me.
161
00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:06,749
So you're getting married?
162
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:07,800
That's what I said.
163
00:10:08,050 --> 00:10:09,370
Who's the lucky lady? Why?
164
00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:14,449
Just, you know, someone says they're
getting married. You ask who they're
165
00:10:14,450 --> 00:10:15,500
getting married to.
166
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,070
She's called Fernanda.
167
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:18,800
Oh, Fernanda.
168
00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:20,280
Want me to spell it?
169
00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:24,330
No. And yes, she's foreign, if that's
your next question.
170
00:10:24,970 --> 00:10:26,090
Oh, where's she from?
171
00:10:26,330 --> 00:10:27,890
Do you mean where did I find her?
172
00:10:27,891 --> 00:10:31,389
Do you want to know the name of the
city, the name of the fucking street,
173
00:10:31,390 --> 00:10:32,830
number of the fucking house?
174
00:10:37,430 --> 00:10:38,570
How about yes, sir?
175
00:10:43,830 --> 00:10:45,150
Oh, the next one's here.
176
00:10:45,650 --> 00:10:47,190
Sorry? Your next victim.
177
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,860
Oh, I don't need to be paying. Thanks.
178
00:10:51,571 --> 00:10:53,619
I get it.
179
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,279
Get what?
180
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,459
I thought he was asking everyone for
their lesson plans, but no, no, it's
181
00:10:57,460 --> 00:11:01,010
me, the most experienced English teacher
in the whole fucking school.
182
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,910
If he wants a fucking fight, he'll get a
fucking fight.
183
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,450
Bastard!
184
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,300
Don't give yourself a heart attack.
185
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,840
Why not? Who gives a shit if I die?
186
00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:13,960
Are you guessing your fiancé might?
187
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,140
Fucking you, what a fucking creep!
188
00:11:17,570 --> 00:11:22,029
Fucking Claire thinks that he's going to
help her to get rid of me. Well, I'll
189
00:11:22,030 --> 00:11:25,329
get rid of him. Then she won't have a
head of English. And then they'll both
190
00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:29,150
sorry. If you get rid of Ewan, every
woman in the school will want to kill
191
00:11:29,430 --> 00:11:30,850
Like they don't already.
192
00:11:31,890 --> 00:11:35,629
I'm going to get that fucker fired. I'll
have him out of here before he knows
193
00:11:35,630 --> 00:11:36,680
what's hidden.
194
00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:41,450
So you put your name on your badge?
195
00:11:42,850 --> 00:11:43,900
Yeah.
196
00:11:44,510 --> 00:11:45,560
Put Ewan on mine.
197
00:11:45,561 --> 00:11:50,019
But you don't have Ewan on our badges
just to confuse the new teachers.
198
00:11:50,020 --> 00:11:51,070
Yeah, that's funny.
199
00:11:51,671 --> 00:11:56,319
Please tell me you haven't been talking
to people.
200
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:57,119
I'm sorry.
201
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,170
Three this morning.
202
00:11:58,171 --> 00:11:59,259
How about you?
203
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,960
What? How many have I spoken to?
204
00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:02,630
That would be none.
205
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:03,910
Ah, never mind.
206
00:12:03,911 --> 00:12:07,019
You'll get a chance this evening,
Lindsay and the family are coming to the
207
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:10,639
You know their names? You know their
names and they're coming to the pub?
208
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,720
Yeah. Did you invite them?
209
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:14,640
Would it matter if I did?
210
00:12:14,641 --> 00:12:15,899
So you did.
211
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,570
Oh! I was just telling them what our
pub's called.
212
00:12:19,650 --> 00:12:20,700
And where it is.
213
00:12:20,930 --> 00:12:22,310
But they asked me questions.
214
00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:24,110
You didn't have to answer.
215
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,730
At least they don't know where we smoke.
216
00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:28,460
No.
217
00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:29,750
This is where we smoke.
218
00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:41,030
They can't ignore us forever.
219
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:42,340
No, they can't.
220
00:12:42,510 --> 00:12:44,710
Well, they could.
221
00:12:53,579 --> 00:12:54,629
Mr. Burkett.
222
00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:58,640
Since when was your first name Ewan?
223
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:01,920
We thought it might be funny.
224
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:07,020
We? Damien said we should all put...
It's not funny.
225
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,530
It's pathetic.
226
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:11,330
What?
227
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:14,390
Pathetic.
228
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,690
See? There's no point even trying to
talk to these people.
229
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,100
Once again, your idea and I look like a
twat.
230
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:02,820
Is it over there?
231
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:08,910
Or we could go over here.
232
00:14:10,270 --> 00:14:15,649
If I did talk to the blonde one,
Penning, whatever, she'd think I was
233
00:14:15,650 --> 00:14:18,649
talking to her because I fancy her.
There'd be nothing I could say to make
234
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:21,690
think I didn't fancy her, apart from, I
don't fancy you.
235
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:24,940
Which wouldn't be a great way to start
the conversation.
236
00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:31,220
So, two white wines, large brandy, pint
of lager.
237
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,480
Oh, did I mention Claire's problem?
238
00:14:35,481 --> 00:14:37,939
Her being jealous of you getting
married.
239
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:39,340
Not that. No, she's also deaf.
240
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,540
Deaf. So you should speak up whenever
you're with her.
241
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,360
Better still, shout. Shout as loud as
you can.
242
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,180
No one else shouts at Claire.
243
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,440
Well, she'd like them to.
244
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,990
Yeah, she used to love it when I
shouted.
245
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:53,660
When you were having sex.
246
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,860
Look, forget about me having sex with
Claire.
247
00:14:56,861 --> 00:15:01,559
I'm trying to help you. If you want to
stay in Claire's good books, just shout.
248
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,280
As loud as you can. All the time.
249
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,240
I think I'll wait till she asks me to.
250
00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:07,419
All right.
251
00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:08,470
You know this?
252
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:10,220
Apparently. Baby.
253
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,130
My baby.
254
00:15:15,220 --> 00:15:16,270
Baby, son.
255
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:19,070
Can we talk about something else apart
from babies?
256
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:20,380
Photos. Oh, God.
257
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:23,379
I'm going to make them talk to me.
258
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,079
Of course you are.
259
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,980
I am. Of course you are. I am. Of course
you are. Oh, shut up.
260
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:31,710
Hello?
261
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,460
She's there.
262
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,600
Isn't that a good idea, in your
condition?
263
00:15:45,980 --> 00:15:47,600
What condition would that be?
264
00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:50,000
You're pregnant, aren't you?
265
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:51,810
No.
266
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:53,590
I'm not pregnant.
267
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,210
So, Bob, when are we going to meet your
fiancée?
268
00:16:00,550 --> 00:16:03,090
Oh, soon, I expect.
269
00:16:03,091 --> 00:16:04,869
I don't even know what she's called.
270
00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:06,230
He doesn't like you asking.
271
00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:07,590
I don't mind her asking.
272
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:13,090
She's called, um, Sunitra. I thought you
said it was Fernanda.
273
00:16:14,430 --> 00:16:17,110
Ah, yeah, that's her first name.
274
00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:20,530
So her full name is Fernanda Sunitra.
275
00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:23,190
That was a bit of a mouthful.
276
00:16:25,630 --> 00:16:29,570
Your friends want you to go back to
their table. Ah, so they're talking to
277
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,370
No, they gave me a note to send you and
Bert to their table.
278
00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:37,270
Right, um... See you later.
279
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:43,710
What a wanker. You're not a wanker. His
friend's a wanker.
280
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:47,089
Wanker or no wanker, I wouldn't get too
attached to Ewan.
281
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,530
Won't be here for much longer.
282
00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:01,130
I can't stop now.
283
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:11,690
Oh, I can't slow down.
284
00:17:12,670 --> 00:17:15,650
There's no one in town.
285
00:17:16,650 --> 00:17:19,450
And I can't stop now.
286
00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:25,270
Did Sinanda Sunitra make your packed
lunch?
287
00:17:25,589 --> 00:17:31,040
Why? Are you so obsessed with my fiancé?
I'm just trying to build up a picture.
288
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:38,400
Thank you.
289
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:42,660
A reminder that you should all be
talking to each other.
290
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,020
Not now.
291
00:17:48,380 --> 00:17:52,279
I thought I made it clear yesterday.
When you hear Carol clapping, that means
292
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,659
you stop what you're doing and listen.
293
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:54,710
Mr.
294
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,400
Porter. Shut up or get out.
295
00:17:58,320 --> 00:17:59,370
Preferably, though.
296
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,520
Oh, um, have you bought any biscuits
yet?
297
00:18:05,521 --> 00:18:09,119
Biscuits? Yeah, Clare likes, uh, heads
of department to buy biscuits for the
298
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:09,839
staff room.
299
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,699
Liz keeps a float in the top row of the
desk. You just help yourself.
300
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:13,800
Really? Oh, yes.
301
00:18:22,931 --> 00:18:27,659
You don't understand the phrase go fuck
yourself?
302
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:31,099
No. I don't understand why you're saying
go fuck yourself when what I want is
303
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:32,799
for you to photocopy these worksheets.
304
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:33,880
Have you said please?
305
00:18:33,881 --> 00:18:36,839
She won't help you unless you ask her
really, really nicely.
306
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,220
I won't help. Full stop.
307
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:42,330
She may seem a little unfriendly at
first, but I get much worse as time goes
308
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,540
How the fuck could you get worse?
309
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:49,839
Have you tried asking Carol to be your
photocopier? She's usually... Are you
310
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:50,890
going to do it?
311
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:52,110
Yes or no?
312
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:53,550
I'll give you a clue.
313
00:18:54,139 --> 00:18:55,220
It's not yet.
314
00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:01,620
Still not talking to you?
315
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:06,019
He might have done, if you hadn't have
interrupted all the time. Well then, I
316
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,360
should feel just awful.
317
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:10,080
Yes, I don't.
318
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,420
You haven't said a word to me since I
got here.
319
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:22,220
I'm not leaving till you say something.
320
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:26,110
Is it a good idea to smoke?
321
00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:29,450
Oh, fuck's sake, I'm not pregnant!
322
00:19:29,890 --> 00:19:30,940
I didn't say you were.
323
00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:33,820
I was just asking, is it a good idea to
smoke?
324
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:35,540
I can never decide.
325
00:19:36,270 --> 00:19:40,029
I like the taste of tobacco, and it
helps cope with the stress of the job,
326
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:43,669
then your anxiety level shoots up when
you think about cancer. And I read
327
00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:46,229
there's some connection between smoking
and sperm count.
328
00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:49,250
The more you smoke, the less your chance
of having a baby.
329
00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:52,700
Not that I want one, but it might
suddenly get broody when I'm 30.
330
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:56,100
Can men get broody, or is that a woman
-only type of thing?
331
00:19:56,890 --> 00:20:01,149
The reason you didn't speak to me before
is that you knew you wouldn't be able
332
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:03,620
to stop yourself from blabbering on and
on and on.
333
00:20:03,621 --> 00:20:07,509
Well, I suppose that's part of the
reason, but I was also thinking that...
334
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,050
That's enough now.
335
00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:19,689
What the fuck do you think you're doing?
336
00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:22,700
I want the Jeff Gates. So you thought
you'd steal some money?
337
00:20:22,899 --> 00:20:23,949
Steal? No.
338
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:26,040
Of course Mr. Jones isn't stealing.
339
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,680
Then why is he holding my cash box?
340
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,460
Well, isn't that obvious?
341
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:33,230
No.
342
00:20:33,231 --> 00:20:35,839
I went to buy some biscuits for the
storefront.
343
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,959
Of course you did, and that's what
you're floated for.
344
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,580
Could we have a word in my office?
345
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:51,320
Yes, he's on the way out.
346
00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:54,680
I doubt that very much. Why else would
she call him in there?
347
00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:59,279
She's reading in the riot act. I have to
attend a governor's meeting tonight and
348
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,200
I'm not sure if these shoes go with my
skirt.
349
00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:04,990
What do you think?
350
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,090
Shoes look fine to me.
351
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,940
Really? You like what you see?
352
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:13,930
Mm -hmm.
353
00:21:20,590 --> 00:21:22,110
Do you want to hear my theory?
354
00:21:22,710 --> 00:21:23,760
No.
355
00:21:26,230 --> 00:21:27,280
She fancies him.
356
00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:28,930
Fancies you and... Bollocks.
357
00:21:35,970 --> 00:21:37,020
Fuck!
358
00:21:37,021 --> 00:21:39,549
How dare you come in here when my red
light is on?
359
00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:41,029
You haven't got a red light anymore.
360
00:21:41,030 --> 00:21:42,080
Get out!
361
00:21:42,450 --> 00:21:43,500
Not you.
362
00:21:50,071 --> 00:21:57,099
Well, Claire, fancy Ewan. Why wouldn't
she fancy Ewan? We all fancy Ewan.
363
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:57,899
Yeah, but why?
364
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,160
Get him to be talking to me.
365
00:21:59,161 --> 00:22:00,519
Not Damien.
366
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,720
Ben. I can't work with Ewan. Can't you?
Oh, well.
367
00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:05,920
Why is he talking to Ewan, not me?
368
00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:07,760
He's a very good judge of character.
369
00:22:07,761 --> 00:22:10,459
There's no way she's going to sack him
if she wants to shag him.
370
00:22:10,460 --> 00:22:12,799
Who wants to shag you? Claire wants to
shag Ewan.
371
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,440
Who doesn't? I fucking don't.
372
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,050
If Ben can talk to you, he can talk to
me.
373
00:22:17,051 --> 00:22:20,379
Make him want to. Well, I don't care if
he doesn't want to. I'll make him talk
374
00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:21,430
to me and Damien.
375
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:23,890
Ben talked to Damien.
376
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,290
I'll make Damien talk to me as well as
Ben.
377
00:22:26,940 --> 00:22:31,099
What? Fuck it. If I can't get him
sacked, I'll make him quit. I'll make
378
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,579
think that everyone hates him.
379
00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:36,339
Or even better, I could actually make
everybody hate him and then he'll be so
380
00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:40,140
fucking miserable that he'll fucking beg
Claire to let him go.
381
00:22:41,931 --> 00:22:43,999
Night, Bob.
382
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,050
Night.
383
00:23:02,980 --> 00:23:04,030
Shit,
384
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:19,920
the blonde one's coming.
385
00:23:20,220 --> 00:23:21,270
I'll say hello. No.
386
00:23:21,660 --> 00:23:23,220
Every time I listen to the radio.
387
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,130
Hello.
388
00:23:53,930 --> 00:23:56,160
I still haven't ticked your name off my
list.
389
00:23:56,830 --> 00:23:59,590
We could just talk about something for
ten minutes.
390
00:24:00,930 --> 00:24:02,490
I don't even know what you teach.
391
00:24:02,710 --> 00:24:05,750
I'm waiting, Miss Neville. I think she
wants you to shush.
392
00:24:06,050 --> 00:24:08,460
I made you talk to me. When you're quite
finished.
393
00:24:08,890 --> 00:24:12,930
Sorry, I was just chatting to... Ewan.
394
00:24:13,890 --> 00:24:14,940
That's not your name.
395
00:24:14,970 --> 00:24:17,110
I was going to change it. I forgot.
396
00:24:17,470 --> 00:24:21,200
You wanted us to talk to everyone. I've
decided to try something different.
397
00:24:21,550 --> 00:24:22,750
Something a little more...
398
00:24:24,139 --> 00:24:27,340
Intimate. A bonding night, which I'd
like to have this evening.
399
00:24:27,820 --> 00:24:32,420
We can let our hair down, get rid of any
inhibitions.
400
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,790
What if you already have plans for this
evening?
401
00:24:35,791 --> 00:24:37,679
Do you have plans for this evening?
402
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,160
Yes. What?
403
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,180
I'm seeing people.
404
00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:43,550
Who?
405
00:24:43,860 --> 00:24:46,920
OK, I'm not seeing people, but I might
have been.
406
00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:50,050
Does anyone have any genuine plans for
this evening?
407
00:24:51,820 --> 00:24:52,870
Anyone?
408
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,050
No one?
409
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,640
Good. I expect to see all of you in the
pub at 7 .30.
410
00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:00,750
Thank you.
411
00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:08,980
So, what were your plans?
412
00:25:09,380 --> 00:25:11,320
A night out with Sunanda Sunitra?
413
00:25:11,580 --> 00:25:14,420
Look, you don't have to use her full
name all the time.
414
00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:16,280
OK, what do you call her?
415
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:18,290
Schnoodle.
416
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,240
Do you see any tapas there?
417
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:21,620
A couple of words.
418
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,799
Seven words. More than we got out of
Damien. More than you got out of Damien.
419
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,850
haven't tried yet. More than seven
words.
420
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,400
Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.
421
00:25:29,401 --> 00:25:32,159
Do you want to get the English
department meeting?
422
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:33,900
No, of course not. I'll see you there.
423
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,080
Oh, yeah. I'll be there.
424
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:39,970
He's late.
425
00:25:41,180 --> 00:25:42,320
He's five minutes late.
426
00:25:43,620 --> 00:25:45,340
I think you're taking a pic.
427
00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:50,019
I mean, he makes us turn up for a
meeting we don't really need and then he
428
00:25:50,020 --> 00:25:51,500
us hanging around for hours.
429
00:25:51,501 --> 00:25:52,739
Five minutes.
430
00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:53,820
Getting on for an hour.
431
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,000
I mean, is it just me that feels
insulted?
432
00:25:59,660 --> 00:26:02,080
Ah, come on, let's go. He's obviously
forgotten.
433
00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:03,600
Sorry. Sorry.
434
00:26:03,601 --> 00:26:07,439
Thought it might be nice to have some
coffee and croissants.
435
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,490
I'd prefer tea.
436
00:26:08,820 --> 00:26:11,050
Did he ask anyone if they'd rather have
tea?
437
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:12,570
Oh, it's a bit hot.
438
00:26:13,580 --> 00:26:14,960
But you don't burn yourself.
439
00:26:23,150 --> 00:26:24,230
I'm not pregnant.
440
00:26:25,070 --> 00:26:27,150
I can get the told you I was, but I'm
not.
441
00:26:30,650 --> 00:26:32,470
I was just wearing a baggy T -shirt.
442
00:26:34,770 --> 00:26:37,120
I need three or four volunteers to come
with it.
443
00:26:38,250 --> 00:26:44,189
What? Sorry, maybe I'm being a bit thick
here, but are you actually asking us to
444
00:26:44,190 --> 00:26:46,410
give up our spare time on a Saturday?
445
00:26:46,411 --> 00:26:50,789
I think it's important for the kids to
see Shakespeare performed live. They're
446
00:26:50,790 --> 00:26:51,840
in a proper theatre.
447
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,090
On a Saturday.
448
00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:54,430
It's a map, innit?
449
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:58,439
Well, I doubt you'll find anyone who's
willing to travel to Stratford on a
450
00:26:58,440 --> 00:26:59,490
fucking Saturday.
451
00:27:01,260 --> 00:27:02,460
Anyone fancy the trip?
452
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:10,650
Great.
453
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,210
Is it better to smoke in here or
outside?
454
00:27:22,220 --> 00:27:23,270
What do you mean?
455
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,810
I was just thinking about your health.
Well, my health, really.
456
00:27:27,340 --> 00:27:29,630
I thought maybe it's better to smoke
outside.
457
00:27:29,900 --> 00:27:30,950
Unless it's raining.
458
00:27:31,220 --> 00:27:33,510
Why? The fresh air would dilute the
nicotine.
459
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:38,180
But then if it's wet, we'd run the risk
of catching a cold. Or pneumonia.
460
00:27:38,660 --> 00:27:41,550
You have to balance that against a lower
nicotine intake.
461
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,500
I wouldn't be a lower nicotine intake.
462
00:27:43,980 --> 00:27:45,140
How can you be so sure?
463
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,600
Because, A, I'm not stupid, and B, I
teach biology.
464
00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,970
But if we were standing on grass, Or
near a bush.
465
00:27:53,290 --> 00:27:55,820
Wouldn't there be extra oxygen floating
around?
466
00:27:56,230 --> 00:27:58,700
I'm guessing you don't teach science of
any kind.
467
00:27:59,270 --> 00:28:00,320
May you know.
468
00:28:01,570 --> 00:28:02,620
What do you teach?
469
00:28:04,710 --> 00:28:05,760
Nothing important.
470
00:28:06,470 --> 00:28:07,710
Tell me. No.
471
00:28:08,490 --> 00:28:09,540
Okay.
472
00:28:10,150 --> 00:28:12,070
Tell me something else about yourself.
473
00:28:12,870 --> 00:28:13,920
Like what?
474
00:28:14,450 --> 00:28:15,500
Surprise me.
475
00:28:16,650 --> 00:28:17,970
I was bullied as a child.
476
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,330
and also as an adult.
477
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,000
That surprised me.
478
00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:32,620
So, who's doing A -level English?
479
00:28:32,621 --> 00:28:34,119
All of us.
480
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,170
One.
481
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,880
I was hoping you might like to help me.
482
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,210
Help you?
483
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:40,570
I don't think so.
484
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:41,890
I'm willing to pay.
485
00:28:41,891 --> 00:28:43,559
What for?
486
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:47,000
I want you to ignore Mr. Doherty in your
next English lesson.
487
00:28:47,820 --> 00:28:49,500
I want you to just stare at him.
488
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,090
Just like that.
489
00:28:53,140 --> 00:28:54,980
But, uh, don't say a word.
490
00:28:55,540 --> 00:28:59,319
Well... Doesn't matter why not. The
important thing is that I am willing to
491
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:00,440
for your silence.
492
00:29:02,100 --> 00:29:03,150
One pound.
493
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:05,980
Each five pounds.
494
00:29:06,580 --> 00:29:07,630
Each.
495
00:29:09,380 --> 00:29:10,430
There's ten of you.
496
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:14,800
So, I need fifty pounds.
497
00:29:14,801 --> 00:29:16,439
Can you let me lend you the money?
498
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:17,359
I'll pay you back tomorrow.
499
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:18,299
You won't have to.
500
00:29:18,300 --> 00:29:21,730
Because you can wait a bit longer?
Because I won't lend you the money.
501
00:29:21,830 --> 00:29:22,880
Please?
502
00:29:23,210 --> 00:29:26,889
I've got to pay from year 13 to ignore
Ewan. Why are you telling me what you
503
00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:29,389
need the money for when I've just said
to you that I won't give you any?
504
00:29:29,390 --> 00:29:31,560
I thought you might change your mind.
Wrong.
505
00:29:35,110 --> 00:29:36,590
You lend me 50 quid? No.
506
00:29:37,370 --> 00:29:38,420
I can.
507
00:29:39,290 --> 00:29:41,310
Right, to pay for some repairs.
508
00:29:41,311 --> 00:29:42,849
You're my wife?
509
00:29:42,850 --> 00:29:45,690
Yeah. Your bike's fine. I saw you riding
it this morning.
510
00:29:46,690 --> 00:29:50,610
I don't mean my motorbike. I mean my
shoes.
511
00:29:53,060 --> 00:29:54,110
Yeah.
512
00:29:54,340 --> 00:29:55,390
No.
513
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,270
I've got some other shoes that need
repairing.
514
00:29:58,440 --> 00:29:59,960
It's going to cost you 50 quid.
515
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:02,580
Handmade. Leather.
516
00:30:02,860 --> 00:30:09,679
With very expensive shiny bits that have
to be stuck back on two other
517
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:10,730
bits.
518
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,620
There you go. Thank you very much.
519
00:30:16,460 --> 00:30:17,540
Damien's waving at me.
520
00:30:18,420 --> 00:30:20,160
I'd say he's waving at me, actually.
521
00:30:20,500 --> 00:30:21,940
Oi, Ewan.
522
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:25,060
Actually, I think it's me.
523
00:30:26,340 --> 00:30:27,390
See you later.
524
00:30:29,220 --> 00:30:30,270
Gullible tosser.
525
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,610
Is it right that anyone that stupid
should be head of English?
526
00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:34,750
Well, you were.
527
00:30:35,531 --> 00:30:40,839
You must have been called a lot of names
when you were a kid.
528
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:46,140
No. No one called you Patty, Fatso,
Piggy, Big Fat Pig? No.
529
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:49,820
No one ever dared call me one like that.
530
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,050
And why would they?
531
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:57,090
Was Jesus a man?
532
00:30:57,580 --> 00:30:59,260
Good question. What's the answer?
533
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:01,770
How should I know?
534
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:07,340
I am not a fucking Christian. I keep
this bollocks. I don't believe it.
535
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:11,150
I'm not saying there's anything to be
ashamed of if you are a Christian.
536
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,050
Actually, I am saying there's something
to be ashamed of.
537
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,130
And I agree.
538
00:31:16,220 --> 00:31:18,020
So you don't mind me taking the piss?
539
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:19,920
No. You forgive me?
540
00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:21,470
Yes.
541
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:23,720
It's very Christian of you.
542
00:31:25,220 --> 00:31:26,660
I am not a fucking Christian.
543
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,250
If the ogre was black, you wouldn't call
him a racist.
544
00:31:31,251 --> 00:31:34,879
Have you ever done this the other way
around, with Othello as a white man and
545
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:35,960
the others all black?
546
00:31:36,620 --> 00:31:40,539
Well, I've never seen a production like
that myself, but, yeah, it's an
547
00:31:40,540 --> 00:31:41,590
interesting idea.
548
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,040
What the fuck were you doing in there?
549
00:31:50,380 --> 00:31:51,430
Discussing Othello.
550
00:31:51,431 --> 00:31:54,809
You were discussing. Well, you weren't
meant to discuss. I paid you for no
551
00:31:54,810 --> 00:31:55,950
discussing. So?
552
00:31:56,330 --> 00:31:58,890
So I want my money back. I can't see
that happening.
553
00:31:59,130 --> 00:32:00,180
Can you?
554
00:32:19,251 --> 00:32:22,089
Is that why you've been hiding?
555
00:32:22,090 --> 00:32:26,330
We've been looking all over the...
What's your favourite colour?
556
00:32:26,790 --> 00:32:27,930
What's your star sign?
557
00:32:27,931 --> 00:32:29,469
He's not going to tell us that.
558
00:32:29,470 --> 00:32:31,150
He's not going to tell us anything.
559
00:32:31,210 --> 00:32:32,260
Come on.
560
00:32:41,030 --> 00:32:42,080
Hello?
561
00:32:44,350 --> 00:32:49,030
Come on, this isn't difficult. Does Mrs
Burling feel any guilt?
562
00:32:51,500 --> 00:32:53,200
What does she tell the inspector?
563
00:32:55,340 --> 00:33:00,180
Is he a real police inspector or someone
who is just pissing around?
564
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:08,000
He is paying you to do this, isn't he?
Mr Doherty is paying you not to talk.
565
00:33:08,060 --> 00:33:14,900
Well, if he is paying you less than five
pounds, you are being shortchanged.
566
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:17,800
Look, I know what you're doing.
567
00:33:18,220 --> 00:33:20,270
I just need one of you to tell me I'm
right.
568
00:33:20,780 --> 00:33:21,830
Well.
569
00:34:59,170 --> 00:35:00,730
I don't think you need stitches.
570
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:02,900
Big plaster should do it.
571
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,070
Well, are you going to give me a big
plaster?
572
00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:12,750
No, why should I?
573
00:35:12,751 --> 00:35:14,659
Because you're in charge of first aid.
574
00:35:14,660 --> 00:35:18,479
Yeah. But if the new teachers think they
can come to me every time they hurt
575
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,650
themselves, I won't get a moment to
myself.
576
00:35:21,860 --> 00:35:22,940
What happened to you?
577
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:24,530
I fell over.
578
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,330
I heard you were pissing in Ewan's waste
paper bin.
579
00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:30,310
Well, if you know what happened, why
bother to ask?
580
00:35:30,311 --> 00:35:33,609
Because I want to know why you were
pissing in Ewan's waist nipper bin. It
581
00:35:33,610 --> 00:35:34,660
on fire.
582
00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:39,150
I've no idea what caused the fire. So it
wasn't you, then?
583
00:35:39,311 --> 00:35:41,829
Could have been anything.
584
00:35:41,830 --> 00:35:43,690
Anyone. Yeah, it was you.
585
00:35:44,570 --> 00:35:46,630
Oh, she's going to sack me.
586
00:35:47,510 --> 00:35:48,890
Oh, I'm up to the pub.
587
00:35:48,891 --> 00:35:50,449
Shall I tell Claire you're thick?
588
00:35:50,450 --> 00:35:53,640
Tell the bitch I'm in the pub. She can
sack me in there if she likes.
589
00:35:56,150 --> 00:35:57,350
Shall we go with him?
590
00:35:58,390 --> 00:36:00,090
Just in case he falls over or...
591
00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:01,460
Tops himself.
592
00:36:08,310 --> 00:36:09,360
Bastards.
593
00:36:10,410 --> 00:36:11,460
Fucking bastards.
594
00:36:14,990 --> 00:36:18,330
Are you talking about people you know?
Or is this a general rant?
595
00:36:18,590 --> 00:36:19,640
I don't rant.
596
00:36:20,350 --> 00:36:22,890
Really? You look like a ranter. Fuck
off.
597
00:36:23,750 --> 00:36:24,800
I wish I could.
598
00:36:25,190 --> 00:36:27,360
But I've still got most of me pint to
finish.
599
00:36:28,490 --> 00:36:29,690
What are you doing here?
600
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:33,260
Thinking, reading, and hiding.
601
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:35,290
Hiding from who?
602
00:36:35,720 --> 00:36:37,960
From the fat girl and the blonde one.
603
00:36:38,300 --> 00:36:39,360
They're stalking me.
604
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:42,930
Bastards.
605
00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:44,710
Fucking bastards.
606
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:50,380
Dare ones to sack me.
607
00:36:50,381 --> 00:36:56,219
So you thought coming here and getting
pissed would stop Cleb from having a
608
00:36:56,220 --> 00:36:57,270
reason to sack you?
609
00:36:57,390 --> 00:37:00,520
Oh, she's got her fucking reason
already, that fucking bitch.
610
00:37:01,130 --> 00:37:03,510
She does seem like a fucking bitch.
611
00:37:03,770 --> 00:37:04,820
She's waiting for me.
612
00:37:05,490 --> 00:37:08,800
Rubbing her hands with glee, jumping up
and down with excitement.
613
00:37:09,150 --> 00:37:11,390
Laughing at the fact that she can fire
me.
614
00:37:12,070 --> 00:37:13,310
I'm sure that's not true.
615
00:37:26,451 --> 00:37:31,679
They're too fucking clean, aren't they,
gentlemen?
616
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,160
They're too fucking clean and they're
too fucking blonde.
617
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:39,600
Too fucking neat and tidy and arrogant.
618
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,120
Very pleased with themselves.
619
00:37:42,900 --> 00:37:49,739
I am a strong, successful woman and you
are a pathetic little
620
00:37:49,740 --> 00:37:53,140
man. Who the fuck do they think they
are?
621
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:54,570
Fuck them.
622
00:37:54,740 --> 00:37:55,790
Yeah.
623
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:57,440
Fuck them all.
624
00:38:16,371 --> 00:38:20,399
I'm going to put you in a difficult
position.
625
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,700
What sort of position?
626
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:23,440
I'm getting rid of Bob.
627
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:26,460
Oh. Why?
628
00:38:26,461 --> 00:38:30,579
I caught him urinating in your waste
paper bin, having just set fire to your
629
00:38:30,580 --> 00:38:31,630
office. No.
630
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:32,970
Very fair.
631
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:37,160
Now, I realise your department will be
under strength for a while.
632
00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:41,560
But arson is a flakable offence.
633
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:43,300
Yeah. Right.
634
00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:47,240
Are you sure it was Bob who started the
fires?
635
00:38:48,060 --> 00:38:49,320
Cool, Pam. Why do you ask?
636
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,960
Well, I think it could have been me.
637
00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:53,660
I'm sure it wasn't.
638
00:38:53,661 --> 00:38:55,239
Actually, it might have been.
639
00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:58,939
Sometimes I have a quick fag in my
office and put the stuff in the bin when
640
00:38:58,940 --> 00:38:59,990
finished.
641
00:39:00,460 --> 00:39:03,170
I only keep forgetting to make sure it's
out properly.
642
00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:05,920
I had a few accidents last term.
643
00:39:07,660 --> 00:39:08,860
What sort of accidents?
644
00:39:09,740 --> 00:39:10,790
Fires.
645
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:14,400
A couple of small ones and quite a big
one.
646
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:16,440
And a couple of others.
647
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:20,200
Five. You know, we only had to call the
fire brigade twice.
648
00:39:22,580 --> 00:39:24,740
You set fire to your bin five times?
649
00:39:25,260 --> 00:39:26,440
Yeah, I'm afraid so.
650
00:39:26,660 --> 00:39:28,830
So I guess that means you'll have to
sack me.
651
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:30,640
Don't be so silly.
652
00:39:32,880 --> 00:39:36,740
But you just said it's a sackable
offence. I said sacking was an option.
653
00:39:36,741 --> 00:39:40,939
But not if there's absence of malice.
You didn't intend to start the fire, did
654
00:39:40,940 --> 00:39:41,990
you? No.
655
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,800
Well, there you are then. You can stay.
656
00:39:44,900 --> 00:39:45,950
Right.
657
00:39:46,990 --> 00:39:49,040
Good. Will you have a look in your
office?
658
00:39:49,650 --> 00:39:54,290
If Bob urinated all over the carpet, I
could suspend him or something.
659
00:39:54,750 --> 00:39:57,710
OK, I'll let you know. Bye.
660
00:40:40,401 --> 00:40:47,389
I know you want to sack me, but I'm not
going to give you the satisfaction.
661
00:40:47,390 --> 00:40:48,810
I'm not going to sack you.
662
00:40:49,230 --> 00:40:50,280
What?
663
00:40:51,061 --> 00:40:52,949
Why not?
664
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:55,420
Your head of department says he started
the fire.
665
00:40:55,430 --> 00:40:59,489
Does he? I'd like to discipline you for
waving your penis around and urinating
666
00:40:59,490 --> 00:41:02,740
on school property, but I'm afraid you
get off on a technicality.
667
00:41:02,750 --> 00:41:03,800
What technicality?
668
00:41:04,570 --> 00:41:05,930
You were putting out a fire.
669
00:41:06,990 --> 00:41:09,690
A fire that Ewan says he started?
670
00:41:10,130 --> 00:41:11,180
Yes.
671
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,980
Well, don't bother to buzz me out.
672
00:41:19,700 --> 00:41:20,750
I'm off to the pub.
673
00:41:22,140 --> 00:41:25,330
Everyone's going to want to buy me a
drink for saving the school.
674
00:41:28,620 --> 00:41:30,120
I'm a fucking hero!
675
00:41:32,540 --> 00:41:34,530
I bet you want to know what these are
for.
676
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,130
No.
677
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:40,919
Claire's first game involves parking
these from person to person without
678
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:41,970
your hand.
679
00:41:41,971 --> 00:41:45,369
You see, that's why I didn't want to
know what these are for.
680
00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:47,110
I was afraid you'd say what you said.
681
00:41:47,430 --> 00:41:49,970
And now, I want to go home. Well, go
home then.
682
00:41:49,971 --> 00:41:52,309
Wouldn't I get into trouble?
683
00:41:52,310 --> 00:41:54,510
Yes. That's why I'd like you to go.
684
00:41:54,830 --> 00:41:57,120
You're not very nice. You're very
perceptive.
685
00:41:59,170 --> 00:42:00,770
Jesus Christ, it's hot in here.
686
00:42:01,610 --> 00:42:02,750
I mean, Jesus.
687
00:42:03,130 --> 00:42:05,300
Is that blasphemy supposed to impress
me?
688
00:42:05,510 --> 00:42:06,560
I'm not a Christian.
689
00:42:06,561 --> 00:42:07,869
That's what you keep saying.
690
00:42:07,870 --> 00:42:09,610
What can I do to make you believe me?
691
00:42:09,611 --> 00:42:12,769
You can get me two large whiskeys, three
pints of lager and a glass of white
692
00:42:12,770 --> 00:42:13,709
wine.
693
00:42:13,710 --> 00:42:14,760
OK.
694
00:42:15,830 --> 00:42:19,350
By the way, did Ewan start some players
in his office last term?
695
00:42:19,570 --> 00:42:20,620
Yeah, quite a few.
696
00:42:20,621 --> 00:42:23,229
Kept forgetting to stub out his
cigarettes.
697
00:42:23,230 --> 00:42:26,929
I kept saying, Jesus Christ, you... Oh,
you can stop with the J word now, I
698
00:42:26,930 --> 00:42:27,980
believe you.
699
00:42:28,530 --> 00:42:29,580
Don't go for that.
700
00:42:31,390 --> 00:42:32,590
How's it going, big man?
701
00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:35,960
Apart from being called big man, it's
going just fine.
702
00:42:35,961 --> 00:42:39,289
Is that what's -an -handed -thing -of
-me calls you? Yeah.
703
00:42:39,290 --> 00:42:40,610
She calls me lots of things.
704
00:42:41,110 --> 00:42:42,160
Such as?
705
00:42:42,161 --> 00:42:47,129
Well, to be honest, I don't even know
what half of it means. She just talks
706
00:42:47,130 --> 00:42:48,009
own language a lot.
707
00:42:48,010 --> 00:42:48,669
What's that?
708
00:42:48,670 --> 00:42:49,720
What?
709
00:42:50,010 --> 00:42:51,810
Her own language? Where's she from?
710
00:42:52,210 --> 00:42:53,260
Thailand.
711
00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:54,580
How did you meet her?
712
00:42:54,810 --> 00:42:59,310
Well, you know... Come on.
713
00:43:00,070 --> 00:43:01,120
You can tell me.
714
00:43:03,630 --> 00:43:05,130
Yeah, we're mates, aren't we?
715
00:43:05,290 --> 00:43:06,430
What am I to do, then?
716
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,620
Tell each other secrets and they keep
their secrets.
717
00:43:09,621 --> 00:43:11,759
They don't tell all the other fuckers.
718
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:13,260
Yeah, yeah, let's hear it then.
719
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:14,900
Well, technically,
720
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:17,220
I'm not actually engaged.
721
00:43:18,180 --> 00:43:23,900
Not yet, but, yeah, I've got a short
list of 12 possible fiancées.
722
00:43:24,180 --> 00:43:27,430
Fernanda is my favourite, but I need one
more look at the website.
723
00:43:27,431 --> 00:43:31,299
You're talking about Thai brides on the
internet? They're not all Thai. There's
724
00:43:31,300 --> 00:43:35,480
Russians, Poles, Croatians. Who's fit
there at your computer?
725
00:43:36,259 --> 00:43:39,569
looking at their photos and deciding
which one you'd like to show.
726
00:43:39,660 --> 00:43:41,340
No, no, which one I'd like to marry.
727
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:42,530
Same thing.
728
00:43:42,740 --> 00:43:43,790
Are you naked?
729
00:43:44,340 --> 00:43:45,740
What? Are you computer?
730
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,640
I'm just trying to picture the scene.
731
00:43:51,740 --> 00:43:54,420
Actually, I don't want to picture the
scene.
732
00:43:56,380 --> 00:43:59,450
If you'll excuse me, I think I'll find
someone else to talk to.
733
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:03,100
Someone a little less... you.
734
00:44:03,101 --> 00:44:06,129
What's your problem? I thought you liked
me.
735
00:44:06,130 --> 00:44:08,300
I told you all that incompetence. I told
you.
736
00:44:09,330 --> 00:44:10,530
Fucking wanker.
737
00:44:10,930 --> 00:44:12,790
You're all wankers. It doesn't matter.
738
00:44:13,130 --> 00:44:15,840
Don't fuck yourself. You look like you
enjoy yourself.
739
00:44:16,010 --> 00:44:17,390
What are you talking about?
740
00:44:17,391 --> 00:44:18,949
I want to get away from him.
741
00:44:18,950 --> 00:44:20,269
You think you're better than me?
742
00:44:20,270 --> 00:44:21,320
Yeah.
743
00:44:22,550 --> 00:44:26,729
Claire, just try to put this down my
chest. I'm the daddy. I'm the fucking
744
00:44:26,730 --> 00:44:28,290
daddy. You can all fuck off.
745
00:44:28,730 --> 00:44:29,810
I've had enough of Bob.
746
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:33,919
Who, by the way, doesn't actually have a
fiancée? What? I've no sin and a
747
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,759
sinitra. Oh, she exists, but she's not
engaged to Bob because Bob hasn't
748
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,219
actually asked her to marry him.
749
00:44:39,220 --> 00:44:40,580
Or actually spoken to her.
750
00:44:40,900 --> 00:44:46,279
Or actually met her. You see, what he's
been doing, actually, is ordering a wife
751
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:47,330
off a website.
752
00:44:47,700 --> 00:44:49,000
Oh, Herbert.
753
00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:52,390
Now, he told me all that in strict
confidence.
754
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,360
So feel free to tell anyone you like.
755
00:44:54,740 --> 00:44:55,790
Oi, Balder!
756
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,600
Who the fuck did that?
757
00:45:09,270 --> 00:45:10,320
Must be your round.
758
00:45:10,790 --> 00:45:11,840
I don't think so.
759
00:45:12,050 --> 00:45:14,550
Are we talking to everyone now? Except
for Bob.
760
00:45:14,890 --> 00:45:16,630
What if we don't want to talk to you?
761
00:45:16,631 --> 00:45:18,089
Of course you want to talk to us.
762
00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:19,529
Who else are you going to talk to?
763
00:45:19,530 --> 00:45:20,509
Each other.
764
00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:22,510
Don't talk to me. Or me. Why not?
765
00:45:22,810 --> 00:45:24,740
I'm bored of talking to you. Talk to
him.
766
00:45:24,850 --> 00:45:25,900
Why not me?
767
00:45:25,901 --> 00:45:27,629
Because I know quite enough about you.
768
00:45:27,630 --> 00:45:29,079
Is anyone going to get a fucking round?
769
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:33,630
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