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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,580 --> 00:00:03,140 What about top three breasts? 2 00:00:03,141 --> 00:00:04,779 Don't they normally come in two? 3 00:00:04,780 --> 00:00:06,120 Top three pairs of breasts. 4 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:07,980 Done it. Have we? Several times. 5 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:12,250 Top three cartoon characters. No way have we done cartoon characters. 6 00:00:12,251 --> 00:00:16,238 Yours a Hong Kong phooey because he's a dog martial arts expert. Fat dog Mendoza 7 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:17,319 because he's a fat dog. 8 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,340 Muttley because he's a dog. A wheezing dog. 9 00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:25,640 Lindsay's a foghorn, leghorn, Shrek. Shrek's a film star. Still a cartoon. 10 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,120 We even had a tiger. Did we? 11 00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:28,940 Followed by this conversation. 12 00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:31,850 We don't know top three anything. 13 00:00:31,851 --> 00:00:33,489 That's because we don't give a fuck. 14 00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:34,909 What do you want to know, top three films? 15 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:38,410 No. Goodbye, Mr. Chip. I've got a donut version. 16 00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:45,670 Urban classic, Danger Spice, and Prime of Miss Jean Brody. 17 00:00:45,970 --> 00:00:47,230 They're all about future. 18 00:00:47,510 --> 00:00:50,490 So, about unconventional inspirational features. 19 00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:53,000 Yep. You don't see any disparity in that. 20 00:00:54,850 --> 00:00:55,900 It's shut. 21 00:00:56,310 --> 00:00:58,870 Oh, God, I'm fucking stuck. 22 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,700 What are we going to do? 23 00:01:00,940 --> 00:01:01,990 Go somewhere else? 24 00:01:01,991 --> 00:01:03,499 Oh, yeah. 25 00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:05,960 To Sir We Love Now. That was a film. 26 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,420 Yeah, a shit film. 27 00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:09,420 What do you know about it, fat sir? 28 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,260 I know that it's a load of sentimental bollocks. 29 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:16,260 I totally ignore the fact that kids hate teachers and teachers hate kids. 30 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,080 I don't hate the kids. 31 00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:20,470 They hate you, so you might as well start. 32 00:02:11,171 --> 00:02:14,749 Cheapest night out I've had in years. 33 00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:16,250 Same time, same bench tonight. 34 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,860 Can you all sign this card for Carol, please? 35 00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:20,100 Is it her birthday? 36 00:02:20,830 --> 00:02:21,880 Carol's had her baby. 37 00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:25,670 No. Her mother died and I thought this card might cheer her up. 38 00:02:25,930 --> 00:02:29,240 What does the baby look like? Don't you mean who does it look like? 39 00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:33,589 It's not going to look like me. 40 00:02:33,590 --> 00:02:34,670 Let's fucking open up. 41 00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:36,730 Can you give us any clues, Liz? 42 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:37,940 How should I know? 43 00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:39,310 Haven't you seen it yet? 44 00:02:39,311 --> 00:02:42,809 What do you have to do when you see someone's baby for the first time? 45 00:02:42,810 --> 00:02:43,860 Say a nice thing. 46 00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,810 Exactly. She's got a point. 47 00:02:45,811 --> 00:02:49,209 With the gene pools you've got to choose from, chances are it's not going to win 48 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:50,029 any prizes. 49 00:02:50,030 --> 00:02:51,790 Oh, it'll be fucking hideous. 50 00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:53,080 Oi, do you mind? 51 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,590 I thought it couldn't be yours. 52 00:02:54,730 --> 00:02:56,530 I've still no way to talk about a baby. 53 00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:58,660 See you in Carol. 54 00:02:58,710 --> 00:03:01,890 Then you can go and see it. No fucking way. It might be the bomb. 55 00:03:05,030 --> 00:03:06,890 Citizenship. I thought it'd be good. 56 00:03:06,891 --> 00:03:10,479 to give this new initiative a little extra emphasis this term. 57 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:15,060 We're the students' teachers, but we're also their mentors, their role models. 58 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:22,110 And we have to remember that some students do look to us for support. 59 00:03:22,111 --> 00:03:26,959 There's also a legal requirement to cover citizenship, and if I feel it's 60 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,450 being done, I'll have no option but to introduce compulsory lessons. 61 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,220 Liz also has a card for you all to sign. 62 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:36,520 What does Carol have? 63 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,380 A baby, I believe. 64 00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:41,060 Lindsay, word in my office, please. 65 00:03:41,331 --> 00:03:48,339 I've had a number of complaints from students saying that you've been rude 66 00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:49,390 aggressive. 67 00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:52,140 Who said that? It doesn't matter. It matters to me. 68 00:03:55,140 --> 00:03:58,510 Teaching isn't only about ticking boxes and getting exam results. 69 00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:00,070 Isn't it? 70 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,330 No, it isn't. 71 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,580 As I said this morning, it's about... being... 72 00:04:06,110 --> 00:04:07,160 A good role model. 73 00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:11,810 And... Something else. 74 00:04:14,061 --> 00:04:15,589 So... 75 00:04:15,590 --> 00:04:22,529 Is that 76 00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:23,580 it? Sorry? 77 00:04:24,150 --> 00:04:25,200 Is that it? 78 00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:27,530 Did I mention role models? 79 00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:29,850 Yep. Then that's it. 80 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:39,260 I'm a bit confused about exactly what you're asking me to do. Just... be 81 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:49,880 OK. Which one of you lot ran whining to Mrs Hunter about me? 82 00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:51,350 Hmm? 83 00:04:51,351 --> 00:04:54,699 Let's just get one thing straight, shall we? 84 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:57,060 I am not rude and aggressive. 85 00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:59,400 I'm firm and committed. 86 00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:01,070 Understand? 87 00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:07,400 Right. Hands up anyone here who's not feeling valued. 88 00:05:08,670 --> 00:05:09,870 Thought of another one? 89 00:05:09,871 --> 00:05:11,309 Another what? 90 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:14,020 Phil, I can't believe I missed this one. It's a classic. 91 00:05:14,450 --> 00:05:18,470 I'll have to drop Gene Brodie off the top three and add dead poet society. 92 00:05:19,190 --> 00:05:23,449 Robin Williams takes a bunch of emotionally oppressed public school boys 93 00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:27,669 helps them to realise potential they never knew they had. And how does he do 94 00:05:27,670 --> 00:05:29,890 that? Oh, he inspires them. 95 00:05:29,891 --> 00:05:32,249 Well, that's obviously where you're going wrong, isn't it? 96 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:33,300 lack of inspiration. 97 00:05:33,650 --> 00:05:34,910 Oh, shit, that must be it. 98 00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:39,130 What a shame I have no intention of taking any notice of either you or 99 00:05:39,350 --> 00:05:43,080 Well, I'm only trying to help. I mean, were you never inspired by a teacher? 100 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:47,709 Oh, my old English teacher, Dr Dobson, he was the first person to really 101 00:05:47,710 --> 00:05:50,650 me to get me to use my imagination. 102 00:05:51,390 --> 00:05:52,790 Bob wants to see you again. 103 00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:54,870 Now? No. 104 00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:59,469 I'm sure when she came storming up to my desk saying, I want to see Lindsay in 105 00:05:59,470 --> 00:06:02,750 my office immediately, she really meant... In her own time. 106 00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:10,290 We all loved Jackie Docter. I mean, we'd have done anything for him. 107 00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:14,890 Anything. I mean, we'd probably have laid down our lives for him. 108 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,990 I'm filling up. 109 00:06:18,510 --> 00:06:19,560 So? 110 00:06:22,410 --> 00:06:23,460 What? 111 00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,370 You asked to see me. 112 00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:27,100 Did I? 113 00:06:27,101 --> 00:06:33,879 Your class have reported that you were rude and aggressive when you were 114 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,079 grilling them about whether they found you rude and aggressive. 115 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,000 This is a verbal warning, understand? 116 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,020 I don't want any more complaints. 117 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,800 In fact, I want glowing reports from happy, fulfilled children. 118 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,880 If not, you receive a written warning, followed by dismissal. OK? 119 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:53,800 That's it. Thank you. 120 00:07:05,570 --> 00:07:06,620 Is it? 121 00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:09,750 I'm late for something. 122 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,270 What's going on? 123 00:07:15,450 --> 00:07:16,500 Back. 124 00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:19,310 Work. What? 125 00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:21,090 Mad woman. 126 00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:25,990 Work. Don't worry, Claire. I'll sort this out. Excellent. 127 00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:28,950 First sign of any disruption. 128 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:37,250 What am I going to do? 129 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,020 Jump before you bust. 130 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:42,550 None of Robin Williams' pupils would have complained about him. 131 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:46,380 And at my school, none of us kids would have grasped up Jackie Thompson. 132 00:07:47,460 --> 00:07:53,059 We'd rather have taken a beating or had our tongues cut out, our arms hacked 133 00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:54,110 off. 134 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,050 I'm sorry. 135 00:07:56,860 --> 00:08:00,499 Why don't you call in sick for a few days, put her down to illness, let the 136 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,519 whole thing blow over. 137 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,260 And then get sacked for negligence. 138 00:08:03,261 --> 00:08:07,339 You could always apologise to your class, cry a bit and tell them you've 139 00:08:07,340 --> 00:08:08,480 few domestic problems. 140 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:09,780 I fucking couldn't. 141 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:13,230 Pretend it didn't happen, it'll probably go away. 142 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:14,410 And if it doesn't? 143 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,000 You're fucked anyway. 144 00:08:16,001 --> 00:08:19,439 Or you could always use the time you've got left to rob the stationery cupboard 145 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,490 and check the job ads. 146 00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:23,470 Cheers. 147 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,760 You've been a great help. 148 00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:27,840 It's trying to make you feel better. 149 00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:32,630 Oh, Kurt. 150 00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,169 Carol's in the office with the baby. 151 00:08:35,370 --> 00:08:36,510 Did you get a look at it? 152 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,380 And how would that have made me feel better? 153 00:08:41,510 --> 00:08:43,860 It might have taken your mind off being sacked. 154 00:08:46,390 --> 00:08:47,440 Bob. 155 00:08:47,630 --> 00:08:48,850 Bob, I want to talk to you. 156 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,540 Where are they? 157 00:08:53,970 --> 00:08:56,270 Who? The rest of the piss -taking fuckers. 158 00:08:56,650 --> 00:08:57,700 There's no one else. 159 00:08:58,090 --> 00:09:02,150 Was it some kind of bet? Get Bob to make a complete twat of himself? 160 00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:04,250 No, because that would be too easy. 161 00:09:05,510 --> 00:09:06,690 I'm not taking the piss. 162 00:09:07,350 --> 00:09:08,400 It isn't a bet. 163 00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:14,470 I never, ever thought I would say this, but I need your help. 164 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:19,490 Why is it they only ever come to me when they're really fucking desperate? 165 00:09:20,170 --> 00:09:21,220 Do you need to ask? 166 00:09:26,271 --> 00:09:31,979 Now, you have to have a desire to bring out the best in your students. 167 00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:33,060 No, that's not so hard. 168 00:09:33,061 --> 00:09:36,319 No, not if you genuinely believe in it, but if you don't, then it's impossible 169 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,319 to fake it. 170 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,319 Is it? 171 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,120 Absolutely. You had that last curtain in one go, Brian. 172 00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:45,090 I'm so impressed that I'm going to give you one of mine. 173 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,490 Cheers. 174 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:47,950 See? 175 00:09:50,011 --> 00:09:51,999 You're dead. 176 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,639 Now, if you're serious about this, I've got some things at home that I have. 177 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:56,690 What sort of things? 178 00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:58,180 Aids, oral and visual. 179 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:03,160 It'll take discipline and commitment and, uh, a bottle of whiskey. 180 00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:07,840 Whiskey. No, I give you what you want. You give me what I want. 181 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:09,200 It's a two -way street. 182 00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:10,670 Stop! 183 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:11,770 Run! 184 00:10:12,580 --> 00:10:13,630 Run! 185 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:13,770 What are they? 186 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,360 My three favourite films. 187 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,310 I give you whiskey and you give me three old videos? 188 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,579 It's to get you in the mindset. 189 00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:22,799 There's also a list of do's and don'ts, some practical tips and my mobile 190 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,400 number's on the sheet. I'm available 24 hours a day. 191 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:27,950 And do the work? 192 00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,500 What? The practical tips. 193 00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:32,190 How should I know? 194 00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:34,600 You've never tried them? 195 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:35,930 No. 196 00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,150 Why not? 197 00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:38,860 I've never had the nerve. 198 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:47,070 I just wanted to say, have a lovely day. 199 00:11:53,530 --> 00:11:56,430 Rule one, be nice. Rule two, break convention. 200 00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:58,980 Rule three, get them thinking to themselves. 201 00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:00,450 Practical tips on the back. 202 00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:02,840 Uniform, squat. 203 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,110 Take lessons outside. 204 00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:05,840 Death standing. 205 00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:08,860 Powerful stuff. Can't wait to see you in action. 206 00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:10,000 What do you mean? 207 00:12:10,001 --> 00:12:12,989 I intend to put the chair outside the classroom and watch every lesson until 208 00:12:12,990 --> 00:12:14,810 end of term. And me. And me. Me too. 209 00:12:58,210 --> 00:12:59,790 Why are we doing this, Meg? 210 00:13:03,170 --> 00:13:04,450 I have no idea. 211 00:13:30,670 --> 00:13:35,810 The dark, moist place where passions dwell. 212 00:13:36,430 --> 00:13:43,409 A lair for the worm that pumps and swells. You won't find 213 00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:44,460 this in your books. 214 00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:49,590 A gate to heaven and to hell. 215 00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:54,850 The slap of thighs and the tolling. 216 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,660 Honestly? Absolutely. 217 00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:04,790 Not a lot. 218 00:14:07,100 --> 00:14:09,660 Right, well, OK, let's get on. 219 00:14:09,661 --> 00:14:11,939 Another look at your S .I .s from last week. 220 00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:12,759 Who made it? 221 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:16,310 Doesn't matter. We'll start with Eddie's, shall we? It's good that you 222 00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:20,230 Me and a rat. 223 00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:22,380 Well? Well, we want to hear it. 224 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:24,690 Really? 225 00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:29,240 It's not polished, obviously. 226 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:39,759 The questing tongue that seeks to lick the dribbling juices 227 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,460 flowing thick. 228 00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:44,480 This is great, isn't it? 229 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,410 Makes you look at me in a whole new light, right? 230 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,720 What can you tell me about this? 231 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,050 It's a tree. 232 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,540 What kind of a tree? 233 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,570 A green one. 234 00:14:57,571 --> 00:15:00,759 Look, if I'm going to make the effort to bring you outside, you could at least 235 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:01,810 enjoy it. 236 00:15:14,860 --> 00:15:17,700 staining the sheets of tangled dreams. 237 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,770 I think it's time we did some proper work. 238 00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:26,060 Haven't you got another one, sir? 239 00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:30,000 Well, there is a short piece called Contaminated Years. 240 00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:34,479 I'd like to think that hearing these has inspired something in you, too. So, 241 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:40,199 tonight's homework, instead of an essay on the metaphysical poet, how about you 242 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,360 all have a go at writing a poem? 243 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:43,930 Bring it in tomorrow. 244 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:45,590 And read it out. 245 00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:48,450 Contaminated years. 246 00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:53,410 Oh, putrefying flesh. 247 00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:58,889 I've also instigated a review of office working hours to keep us in line with 248 00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:00,690 European directives. Yeah. 249 00:16:01,070 --> 00:16:02,770 The baby's very quiet, Carol. 250 00:16:08,911 --> 00:16:16,379 I also think we need to review the hours that certain members of the secretarial 251 00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:17,720 team are forced to work. 252 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,110 Fine. 253 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:27,900 Lindsay, I noticed you had your class outside staring at trees today. 254 00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:30,679 Just trying to break the confines of the classroom. 255 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:34,580 Open up the potential, enabling and supporting the students, like you said. 256 00:16:34,581 --> 00:16:38,079 Sounds more like a desperate attempt at getting the students to like you. 257 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,900 Have you had any complaints about me today? Not so far. 258 00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:44,540 But after what I said to you this morning, I hope you won't get 259 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:47,620 You didn't say anything to me this morning, did you? 260 00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,610 Not about the concerned parents? 261 00:16:51,690 --> 00:16:52,950 What concerned parents? 262 00:16:52,951 --> 00:16:54,369 The drinking in the kebab shop. 263 00:16:54,370 --> 00:16:56,110 No, my disgust and disappointment. 264 00:16:56,111 --> 00:16:57,709 You didn't say anything? 265 00:16:57,710 --> 00:16:58,990 I'm sure I spoke to you. 266 00:17:00,281 --> 00:17:02,309 Oh, well. 267 00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:05,789 This morning, I had a call from a parent who saw you out drinking on a park 268 00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:09,460 bench last night, then later causing a disturbance outside a kebab shop. 269 00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:10,730 It wasn't just me. 270 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,760 Why does it pick me out? 271 00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,070 Because you're fat. 272 00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:15,619 And as such, noticeable. 273 00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:19,858 Now, this isn't the first such report I've had about you, just the first I've 274 00:17:19,859 --> 00:17:23,049 had directly from a parent, which makes it very serious indeed. 275 00:17:23,050 --> 00:17:27,299 I look upon this sort of thing with disgust and disappointment, and it will 276 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,380 happen again, right? 277 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:30,740 Now, get out of my sight. 278 00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,280 I'm sure I said a word to her earlier. 279 00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:38,540 I don't think it can be overstated. 280 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,260 Clare's had another accident. 281 00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:58,570 Carol's getting the bus back to pick it up. 282 00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:00,620 Fifteen quid to have a look. 283 00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,460 Has anyone else called and bought? 284 00:18:03,740 --> 00:18:06,100 No. Why don't you have a look at it yourself? 285 00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:09,070 I'd make it cry and then you'd have to sort it out. 286 00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:12,530 He's just scared that it'll be like looking into a mirror. Anyway, 287 00:18:12,531 --> 00:18:15,179 I wouldn't even know if it did look like me. 288 00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:16,980 And you worked that out how exactly? 289 00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:19,820 Well, you never really know what you look like, do you? 290 00:18:19,821 --> 00:18:23,189 People are always telling me that I look like Matthew Perry. 291 00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:24,830 I can't see it. Matthew Kelly? 292 00:18:25,090 --> 00:18:28,350 No one said you look like Matthew fucking Perry. Yes, they have. 293 00:18:28,351 --> 00:18:29,609 Who said that? 294 00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:31,900 Several people that you don't actually know. 295 00:18:31,901 --> 00:18:35,529 And that's why you want someone to look at it, so they can tell you if it looks 296 00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:39,210 like you? Or Matthew Kelly. Except it's not my fucking baby. 297 00:18:40,930 --> 00:18:41,980 Thanks. 298 00:18:43,450 --> 00:18:44,670 Stop him for a can, Carol. 299 00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:46,090 Carol watched the baby. 300 00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,450 You know, I meant both of us. 301 00:18:53,850 --> 00:18:55,350 You know, it's really strange. 302 00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:59,140 But the more desperate he gets, the longer I want the agony prolonged. 303 00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:02,130 I can't recall someone that's warm and interesting. 304 00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:05,800 What is wrong with you tonight? She's sober. 305 00:19:06,090 --> 00:19:07,410 Then it's self -inflicted. 306 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,070 The parents performed a committee to persecute me. 307 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:15,200 So to keep them in clear of me, back I'm off drinking for a couple of days. 308 00:19:15,390 --> 00:19:16,440 Okay. Okay. 309 00:19:16,650 --> 00:19:17,700 Your funeral. 310 00:19:21,430 --> 00:19:22,490 Pass me another can. 311 00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:24,410 You've had five already. 312 00:19:24,950 --> 00:19:26,000 So have you. 313 00:19:26,810 --> 00:19:28,650 I bought ten, you bought five. 314 00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:31,640 I needed to save money to get someone to look at a baby. 315 00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:33,230 Oh, I'm going home. 316 00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:36,090 Why? I've got a video to watch. 317 00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,369 Well, why didn't you say? 318 00:19:37,370 --> 00:19:39,480 I'm amazed you managed to stay out so long. 319 00:19:43,131 --> 00:19:48,579 Fifteen quid and two cans of lager till I get it tomorrow. 320 00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:49,720 I haven't got any lager. 321 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,610 Well, I'll borrow two cans off you and pay you back tomorrow. 322 00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:56,830 Nope. 323 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,180 I'll borrow two cans anyway. 324 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,330 Nothing. 325 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:23,690 You're working. 326 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,530 You're not even faking working. You're actually working. 327 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,510 For the first time in ages, I woke up feeling good. 328 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:34,580 No hangover, no headache, no nausea, nothing. 329 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:39,639 So I got up early, came in here, saw these books and thought, I'll just do 330 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:40,690 work at the market. 331 00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:45,420 Better finish now I've started. 332 00:21:13,331 --> 00:21:15,259 Good morning. 333 00:21:15,260 --> 00:21:16,310 Morning, Steve. 334 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:18,730 It's all right. 335 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,050 Morning, 336 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,800 Bob. Morning. I was told, Bill. 337 00:21:24,340 --> 00:21:25,960 Can we talk about them sometime? 338 00:21:25,961 --> 00:21:26,879 Always available. 339 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,140 One night of abstinence and she wakes up with Doris fucking Day. 340 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:37,040 Can you stop that, please? 341 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,090 Thank you. 342 00:22:00,590 --> 00:22:04,089 And Robin Williams being chaired shoulder high by his pupils, being 343 00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:06,730 round the sports pitch, cheering. I love that. 344 00:22:08,070 --> 00:22:14,929 Maybe it's some sort of chemical imbalance brought on by not drinking. 345 00:22:14,930 --> 00:22:16,010 is a delicate machine. 346 00:22:16,190 --> 00:22:19,200 Take away a vital fuel like alcohol, anything could happen. 347 00:22:19,201 --> 00:22:22,509 When I was on antibiotics for a month, I made the Queen Mary out of lollipop 348 00:22:22,510 --> 00:22:24,690 sticks. The ship, not the person. 349 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,980 Clare's busy, so I've been asked to deal with messages today. 350 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,370 Is she here? 351 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:36,330 Most of her. 352 00:22:38,180 --> 00:22:42,759 In the light of recent amended timetables, changes will be posted on 353 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:49,120 Changes will be posted. 354 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:50,710 Thank you. 355 00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:53,030 Brian? 356 00:22:53,380 --> 00:22:56,740 With Clare being ill, who do we go to if we've got a problem? 357 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,960 Well, I suppose that would be me. 358 00:22:59,550 --> 00:23:04,129 As long as the problem's school -related, doesn't require any extra work 359 00:23:04,130 --> 00:23:05,770 sympathy on my part. 360 00:23:06,530 --> 00:23:08,970 I just wanted to know what citizenship is. 361 00:23:09,590 --> 00:23:11,690 I mean, I'm doing it, but what is it? 362 00:23:12,270 --> 00:23:13,320 Isn't it obvious? 363 00:23:13,630 --> 00:23:16,170 No, otherwise I wouldn't be asking what it is. 364 00:23:17,050 --> 00:23:18,890 It's about encouraging them. 365 00:23:19,790 --> 00:23:26,410 Talking about... Maybe... 366 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,310 Maybe we should just leave it until Claire can tell us. 367 00:24:10,451 --> 00:24:12,019 the result. 368 00:24:12,020 --> 00:24:12,899 Fucking hell. 369 00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:14,580 Carol's baby's possessed Claire. 370 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,370 So what happens now? Who runs the school? Who cares? 371 00:24:17,371 --> 00:24:20,839 Well, it looks like it's going to be down to me to fill the pallet that in. 372 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,630 Good job it's happening now when I'm at the top of my game. The time is perfect. 373 00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:26,479 Perfect. Do you think they'll ask you to take over? 374 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:31,319 Well, I've had my moments of doubt, but now with this happening to Claire, it's 375 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:33,960 a confirmation that I'm on the right road. 376 00:24:34,500 --> 00:24:35,550 You know what? 377 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,050 I think I might have found a bit of direction too. 378 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,100 When I watched those films last night... 379 00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:41,350 I felt elated. 380 00:24:41,860 --> 00:24:43,360 Allowing yourself to believe. 381 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,160 That's what it's all about. 382 00:24:45,161 --> 00:24:50,119 Oi, how's your drink, Liza? Thought we might even try a pub tonight. 383 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:52,890 Yeah. We're willing to do all the drinking if you prefer. 384 00:24:52,891 --> 00:24:56,679 Not really expected at sport, is it? But you're off the hook now, Claire's gone 385 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,220 mental, so let's get pissed. 386 00:24:58,860 --> 00:25:00,320 I just don't really fancy it. 387 00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:02,620 It's not about Claire anymore. 388 00:25:02,820 --> 00:25:03,960 Well, what is it about? 389 00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:09,119 It's about waking up in the morning and thinking, can I wait to get in the 390 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,170 classroom? 391 00:25:10,350 --> 00:25:13,550 It's about finding potential and just letting it fly. 392 00:25:15,770 --> 00:25:21,730 I didn't get any of that. 393 00:25:24,670 --> 00:25:26,350 I'd rather hear more of your poems. 394 00:25:26,390 --> 00:25:28,050 Well, maybe it's a treat. Later. 395 00:25:28,510 --> 00:25:30,290 First, I want to hear your efforts. 396 00:25:30,550 --> 00:25:31,600 Who's first? 397 00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:35,060 Martin. 398 00:25:35,970 --> 00:25:37,450 I forgot to do it, sir. 399 00:25:38,190 --> 00:25:39,240 Get up anyway. 400 00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:41,050 What? On your feet. 401 00:25:44,590 --> 00:25:46,010 Make a poem up. 402 00:25:47,750 --> 00:25:50,610 Now? Right now. Open your mouth and speak. 403 00:25:51,410 --> 00:25:52,990 Come on, it'll be good for you. 404 00:25:54,230 --> 00:25:56,690 Whatever comes into your head. 405 00:25:57,870 --> 00:25:58,920 Now! 406 00:26:02,050 --> 00:26:04,490 This is how a tree feels in the high wind. 407 00:26:05,470 --> 00:26:07,330 Oh, isn't it great? 408 00:26:07,791 --> 00:26:09,799 Come on, Adam. 409 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:10,900 Feel the wind. 410 00:26:10,901 --> 00:26:13,859 You'd think a tree would be happy to be blown about. 411 00:26:13,860 --> 00:26:14,839 Don't you? 412 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:19,159 The wind rips off its leaves, pulls off its branches and loosens its roots. So 413 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:20,840 no, I don't think it would be happy. 414 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,140 Excellent. Sad swing, everyone. Come on. 415 00:26:29,580 --> 00:26:31,780 Love doesn't have to hurt to feel good. 416 00:26:32,940 --> 00:26:34,100 It's such a revelation. 417 00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:37,200 With you I can be myself and always should. 418 00:26:39,950 --> 00:26:45,270 Ah, that was... I think we've made a major breakthrough. 419 00:26:50,470 --> 00:26:51,520 Remember this. 420 00:26:53,990 --> 00:26:55,650 All right. 421 00:26:57,050 --> 00:26:58,830 Okay, who's next? 422 00:26:58,831 --> 00:27:03,069 You want me to be your domestic slave for the rest of the term? 423 00:27:03,070 --> 00:27:04,730 I want you to be my domestic slave. 424 00:27:05,150 --> 00:27:08,370 My alcohol supplier, my homework marker and my foot massager. 425 00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:12,370 Then, and only then, will I even think of looking in the front. 426 00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:13,640 What's going on? 427 00:27:13,641 --> 00:27:14,669 What are you talking? 428 00:27:14,670 --> 00:27:16,230 I mean, what's going on with Ed? 429 00:27:17,090 --> 00:27:18,230 He called me thick. 430 00:27:18,231 --> 00:27:20,149 What about the other two? 431 00:27:20,150 --> 00:27:21,200 They laughed. 432 00:27:21,201 --> 00:27:25,369 You don't think that getting them to do something a bit more constructive would 433 00:27:25,370 --> 00:27:27,050 be a more beneficial punishment? 434 00:27:28,630 --> 00:27:29,680 No. 435 00:27:29,681 --> 00:27:31,189 How many piss -ups are they going to do? 436 00:27:31,190 --> 00:27:33,430 Twenty. Go on, lads, you can do it. 437 00:27:34,060 --> 00:27:35,800 Positive thinking, that's the key. 438 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,740 How many have they done? 439 00:27:38,060 --> 00:27:39,110 That's three. 440 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,839 The purpose of the Lunchtime Biology Club is to do all the things you always 441 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,279 wanted to do in class, but were too afraid to ask. Like putting animals in a 442 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,739 microwave and seeing how long they take to explode. 443 00:27:50,740 --> 00:27:51,820 I've got a suggestion. 444 00:27:52,260 --> 00:27:54,860 How about we do something I've always wanted to do? 445 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,180 How about we liberate the frogs? 446 00:27:57,181 --> 00:28:03,439 You're very calm, considering it's your pitch you set them free on. 447 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,939 She was talking about turning it into a school nature reserve, with a pond and 448 00:28:06,940 --> 00:28:07,979 everything. 449 00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:09,300 So we reached a compromise. 450 00:28:09,740 --> 00:28:10,790 Which was? 451 00:28:10,791 --> 00:28:14,619 She could set the frogs free on the pitch, and instead of putting a nature 452 00:28:14,620 --> 00:28:17,720 reserve there, I'd help her build a Japanese peace garden. 453 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,260 That's very nice of you. 454 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,590 So, where's she intending on having this peace garden? 455 00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:30,840 Here. Here, here. 456 00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:32,540 Right here. 457 00:28:32,541 --> 00:28:35,459 Will it have an ashtray incorporated? 458 00:28:35,460 --> 00:28:38,830 You lot won't be using it. It's going to be a smoke -free environment. 459 00:28:38,831 --> 00:28:42,519 Um, you'd better start to draw up plans for a nature reserve, because you're not 460 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,039 building a rock garden here. The heritage site, an area of outstanding 461 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,159 interest. I think you'll find that eventually I'll have both the Japanese 462 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,020 and the nature reserve up and running. 463 00:28:51,140 --> 00:28:52,280 It's not what we agreed. 464 00:28:52,281 --> 00:28:55,959 Unlike you, Brian, I put the best interests of the school before me own. 465 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,739 And once I show my plans to Claire, she'll see it's a chance to turn these 466 00:28:58,740 --> 00:29:00,980 areas of ground into major assets. 467 00:29:01,911 --> 00:29:09,099 I can't believe she lied to me. What are we supposed to do with a fucking pun? 468 00:29:09,100 --> 00:29:10,240 Take her for swimming? 469 00:29:10,241 --> 00:29:14,479 What if she turns all of our lovely dead areas into beautiful fucking gardens? 470 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,959 Then we'll just have to review the way we look at things. Or get her back 471 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,040 drinking. How? She hates the park. 472 00:29:19,460 --> 00:29:20,780 We could make it more comfy. 473 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:22,420 Bring some cushions and stuff. 474 00:29:22,500 --> 00:29:26,499 She's not drinking, so I'm not drinking. We could invite her out, make her 475 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:30,079 comfortable, lull her into a false sense of security, then pin her down and pour 476 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,160 lager down her throat. 477 00:29:31,161 --> 00:29:35,059 Excellent. Why mess with things when we can turn it to our own benefit? 478 00:29:35,060 --> 00:29:36,110 How? 479 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:41,459 Just as there are major disadvantages to having committed, enthusiastic, totally 480 00:29:41,460 --> 00:29:44,890 focused colleagues, there have to be an equal number of advantages. 481 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:46,650 Like what? 482 00:29:46,660 --> 00:29:51,059 Like the times Claire asked for volunteers for extra work, or allocates 483 00:29:51,060 --> 00:29:54,730 people to cover classes or take on extracurricular clubs and societies. 484 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:56,970 What? 485 00:29:57,900 --> 00:29:59,840 What in the fucking world? 486 00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:04,159 Then there are the advantages you just can't predict. 487 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,140 Sleep? Endless possibilities. 488 00:30:12,860 --> 00:30:16,000 Are you asleep again? 489 00:30:16,340 --> 00:30:19,830 I found this book. I started reading, but I couldn't put the thing down. 490 00:30:51,001 --> 00:30:53,739 You're looking good today, Bob. 491 00:30:53,740 --> 00:30:56,240 Another day, another chance to excel. 492 00:30:56,740 --> 00:30:58,000 I'm going to give you more. 493 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:00,090 Fucking get off. 494 00:31:00,340 --> 00:31:01,860 It comes from a broken home. 495 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,780 They're the ones who need it most. 496 00:31:06,820 --> 00:31:09,290 I don't know what Matt was fucking talking about. 497 00:31:09,291 --> 00:31:13,419 Now, where's the advantage in having two fucks deluded whilst wandering around a 498 00:31:13,420 --> 00:31:17,539 school? Well, they're keeping each other on, dividing out of our way. That's 499 00:31:17,540 --> 00:31:18,640 great. 500 00:31:19,850 --> 00:31:23,549 I can watch what I like on telly, and there's always plenty of wine left in 501 00:31:23,550 --> 00:31:24,870 rack and beer in the fridge. 502 00:31:25,190 --> 00:31:26,570 Don't need a flatmate, dear. 503 00:31:26,890 --> 00:31:27,970 What the hell is that? 504 00:31:28,350 --> 00:31:29,490 What does it look like? 505 00:31:30,050 --> 00:31:31,100 Like a baby. 506 00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:33,190 Nothing gets past you, Sue, does it? 507 00:31:33,370 --> 00:31:34,710 I spotted it in the bathtub. 508 00:31:35,930 --> 00:31:39,000 Just pick up people's babies and take them into work with you. 509 00:31:39,310 --> 00:31:40,930 If everyone did it, it'd be Carol. 510 00:31:41,310 --> 00:31:42,650 Carol's. How do you know? 511 00:31:43,070 --> 00:31:44,370 Best to double check. 512 00:31:45,610 --> 00:31:47,170 Hurry up before Carol gets here. 513 00:31:47,171 --> 00:31:48,149 Have a look. 514 00:31:48,150 --> 00:31:49,200 For God's sake. 515 00:31:53,070 --> 00:31:54,510 Fucking hell. What? 516 00:31:54,810 --> 00:31:55,860 Horrible. 517 00:31:56,390 --> 00:31:57,440 Chinese. 518 00:32:05,330 --> 00:32:09,670 It was at the bus stop. 519 00:32:09,910 --> 00:32:13,150 Apparently. I forgot. 520 00:32:16,430 --> 00:32:17,480 Lovely? 521 00:32:19,090 --> 00:32:20,950 Yeah. Yeah, lovely. 522 00:32:29,561 --> 00:32:32,619 Don't you reckon it's farther in? 523 00:32:32,620 --> 00:32:33,670 Four. 524 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:34,850 Tricky, Mum. 525 00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:38,430 We could draw up a list of probables and boil them down to a top five. 526 00:32:38,780 --> 00:32:40,260 We'll conduct DNA tests. 527 00:32:40,261 --> 00:32:43,579 I'm putting a proposal in to Claire about providing a support system for 528 00:32:43,580 --> 00:32:44,579 troubled students. 529 00:32:44,580 --> 00:32:46,679 I just need people to commit to pushing it through. 530 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:47,719 What do you say? 531 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,260 No. No. No. 532 00:32:49,740 --> 00:32:50,790 No. 533 00:32:54,420 --> 00:32:55,740 Thank you, everyone. 534 00:32:57,450 --> 00:33:01,489 Some of you may be aware of the presence of amphibian interlopers on school 535 00:33:01,490 --> 00:33:04,730 grounds. We've called in an expert to remove them. 536 00:33:05,670 --> 00:33:06,720 Humanely, I hope. 537 00:33:07,030 --> 00:33:10,270 If I had my way, it would be with a flamethrower and a fist light. 538 00:33:10,630 --> 00:33:13,040 But I'm assured they will remain unharmed, yes. 539 00:33:13,410 --> 00:33:16,770 Until then, I suggest you avoid open -toed sandals. 540 00:33:17,170 --> 00:33:19,460 Sorry, I'm late. I've been printing these off. 541 00:33:19,910 --> 00:33:21,650 I've already started the briefing. 542 00:33:21,790 --> 00:33:23,470 Shall I take over from here, then? 543 00:33:23,750 --> 00:33:25,110 Why? Well... 544 00:33:25,111 --> 00:33:28,339 If Claire's not up to it, I think it should fall upon a member of the 545 00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,020 staff to start the day, don't you? 546 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,630 You think Claire wants you running things? 547 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,290 Why not? 548 00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:36,720 Well, let me see now. 549 00:33:37,260 --> 00:33:38,780 Because you're washed up? 550 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:43,859 I think you'll find I'm far from washed up. I have a new appetite for the job, a 551 00:33:43,860 --> 00:33:47,840 new desire to do it to the best of my ability. But you really are a pathetic, 552 00:33:48,140 --> 00:33:50,360 ignorant little man, aren't you? Little? 553 00:33:50,361 --> 00:33:54,199 That's not how you referred to me when we were going out together. 554 00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:55,940 Anyway. Going out? 555 00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,060 OK. When we made love. 556 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,920 You mean when we had sex in the toilet? 557 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,680 And in the gym. And on Claire's desk. 558 00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:08,218 And in the photocopying room. You were a charity kiss and I pitied you. Oh, 559 00:34:08,219 --> 00:34:12,300 yeah, you pitied me so much that you had to do it again and again and again. 560 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:18,060 I want to see Claire. 561 00:34:19,219 --> 00:34:21,199 Fine. And I want to see her today. 562 00:34:21,580 --> 00:34:24,900 I'll... I'll see what I can do. No, I'll see what you can do. 563 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:31,130 Out of my way! 564 00:34:34,411 --> 00:34:35,939 I'll 565 00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:46,439 let 566 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,020 you know when she is available. 567 00:34:53,230 --> 00:34:54,670 Why can't we stay and listen? 568 00:34:54,671 --> 00:34:55,509 Shag it. 569 00:34:55,510 --> 00:34:56,890 I'm vomiting, do you think? 570 00:34:57,590 --> 00:34:59,760 Why would anyone shag that sad, fat loser? 571 00:34:59,761 --> 00:35:00,729 Who, Liz? 572 00:35:00,730 --> 00:35:02,270 No, Bob. Bob's not a loser. 573 00:35:02,550 --> 00:35:04,170 Totally an unqualified success. 574 00:35:04,171 --> 00:35:07,129 All that's changing, though, and when he becomes headteacher, yeah. 575 00:35:07,130 --> 00:35:09,670 Bob? Yeah, I think he'd make a great headteacher. 576 00:35:09,671 --> 00:35:12,849 What, if all the other candidates were taken out in a freak terrorist attack? 577 00:35:12,850 --> 00:35:14,350 What have you got against him? 578 00:35:14,490 --> 00:35:16,930 He's fat, he's bald, he sweats, he smells. 579 00:35:17,170 --> 00:35:18,630 You could learn a lot from him. 580 00:35:19,130 --> 00:35:21,780 Well, I have to be a fat, bald, sweaty, stinking twat. 581 00:35:21,781 --> 00:35:24,239 You should give him the respect he deserves. 582 00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:25,290 What, just that? 583 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:27,640 Phil's gone. He'll leave for class. 584 00:35:27,940 --> 00:35:29,320 But so are you, then. 585 00:35:39,980 --> 00:35:41,700 You can't keep this up all day. 586 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,130 Neither can you. 587 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:45,370 Watch me. 588 00:35:48,340 --> 00:35:49,980 Don't you have classes to teach? 589 00:36:06,380 --> 00:36:07,430 And you? 590 00:36:07,460 --> 00:36:08,510 Same. 591 00:36:08,511 --> 00:36:12,599 Well, that's pretty stupid, isn't it? How come they get to piss about and do 592 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:13,650 what they want? 593 00:36:14,260 --> 00:36:15,310 Well, 594 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:22,430 I'm sure they're working in their own way. 595 00:36:22,620 --> 00:36:24,120 Well, can't we do that, then? 596 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,700 You're here so that I can teach you Shakespeare. 597 00:36:27,701 --> 00:36:31,119 And I can't teach you Shakespeare if you're standing on your head. 598 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,710 I can't teach you Shakespeare because you're shit. 599 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:37,730 Just read the book. 600 00:36:38,111 --> 00:36:45,479 You know what you were saying about using Lindsay and Bog to our advantage? 601 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:49,139 Yeah. You remember what Lindsay was saying this morning about establishing 602 00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:51,420 support systems for troubled children? 603 00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:56,360 What? Well, which students do we all really hate dealing with? 604 00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:58,080 Could run into hundreds. 605 00:36:58,081 --> 00:37:01,259 It'd be easier to list the ones we really like dealing with. What if there 606 00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:03,300 an easy way to offload the worst ones? 607 00:37:05,130 --> 00:37:09,189 Will it involve guns and bloodshed? It will just involve using the new 608 00:37:09,190 --> 00:37:10,710 recently opened up to us. 609 00:37:15,470 --> 00:37:16,710 Just drop it. 610 00:37:22,190 --> 00:37:23,240 Carol? 611 00:37:24,190 --> 00:37:25,240 Carol? 612 00:37:27,950 --> 00:37:29,430 Is Liz in there with you? 613 00:37:30,690 --> 00:37:31,740 No. 614 00:37:32,170 --> 00:37:33,650 Are you missing anything? 615 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,260 Just unlock the door, no harm will come to it. 616 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,330 Play in our office. 617 00:37:49,780 --> 00:37:50,830 Bomb! 618 00:37:56,540 --> 00:37:57,680 You're going to stop me. 619 00:37:57,681 --> 00:37:58,969 Aren't I? 620 00:37:58,970 --> 00:38:02,970 Look, you tell her I'm here and I'm not going away until I see her. Or what? 621 00:38:03,250 --> 00:38:04,910 Liz, can I run something by you? 622 00:38:05,150 --> 00:38:09,270 Oh, she's not in charge. Isn't she? You see, it's me that they come to. 623 00:38:09,570 --> 00:38:10,620 What do you want? 624 00:38:10,670 --> 00:38:12,290 So are you in charge, then? No. 625 00:38:12,630 --> 00:38:17,050 Provisionally. I wondered if you'd mind if we gave our annoying kids to Lindsay. 626 00:38:17,051 --> 00:38:20,529 I've worked very closely with Claire for the past five years now. And I've been 627 00:38:20,530 --> 00:38:24,029 at the school for eight. Is that all right, then? Look, I couldn't give a 628 00:38:24,030 --> 00:38:24,629 Me neither. 629 00:38:24,630 --> 00:38:27,080 OK. It's not about how long you've been here. 630 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,760 It's about how suitable you are for the job. 631 00:38:30,380 --> 00:38:33,870 You're saying I'm unsuitable? What do you think I'm fucking saying? 632 00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:36,600 Can anyone tell me what mutualism means? 633 00:38:36,601 --> 00:38:40,259 Even if you don't know the answer, you can still have a go. 634 00:38:40,260 --> 00:38:42,060 Whatever you say is going to be valid. 635 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,760 Wayne? My friend Toby's got the Labrador. 636 00:38:48,700 --> 00:38:49,750 Right. 637 00:38:50,620 --> 00:38:51,670 Excellent. 638 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:05,179 With your newfound skills and commitment, you could support and 639 00:39:05,180 --> 00:39:06,980 in a far better way than we ever could. 640 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:08,700 But this is a biology class. 641 00:39:08,701 --> 00:39:11,959 I think if these kids learn anything about anything, it'll be a massive step 642 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:15,279 forward for them. I don't want to take this kind of challenge away from you 643 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,860 though. Think nothing of it. 644 00:39:17,820 --> 00:39:18,870 Only if you're sure. 645 00:39:18,871 --> 00:39:19,959 We're sure. 646 00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,520 We really appreciate this. 647 00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:28,210 Just find somewhere to sit and we'll carry on. 648 00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,380 Why do you think they're here? 649 00:39:33,980 --> 00:39:35,030 Anyone? 650 00:39:35,140 --> 00:39:36,580 Because Miss Nell was a bitch. 651 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,030 I know that you think of yourselves as different. 652 00:39:41,980 --> 00:39:44,560 That you've been made to feel excluded in some way. 653 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,360 But to me, you're not troublemakers. 654 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:49,250 You're individuals. 655 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:53,310 Let's start with a straight question, shall we? 656 00:39:53,580 --> 00:39:54,780 Who were you angry with? 657 00:39:56,360 --> 00:40:00,340 I was born for this moment. So was I. Well, if you want a fight, you've got 658 00:40:00,380 --> 00:40:05,700 And this time, it'll be to the bitter end. And I will not be... Silenced. 659 00:40:06,020 --> 00:40:07,580 You're looking very smart, Bob. 660 00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:09,820 Have you got an appointment? 661 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,130 Uh, no. 662 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:13,370 Not really. 663 00:40:14,660 --> 00:40:16,950 Someone bring me up to date with where we are? 664 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,260 The baby's still here, I see. 665 00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:20,970 Yes. 666 00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,280 Sort it for me, please. 667 00:40:22,990 --> 00:40:25,950 This is a working environment, and I want to see it working. 668 00:40:27,190 --> 00:40:32,130 I also want a copy of all memos issued in the last 48 hours, ASAP. 669 00:40:34,270 --> 00:40:36,070 So, what happened? 670 00:40:36,490 --> 00:40:38,530 The menopause. I'm fine now. 671 00:40:41,030 --> 00:40:45,690 All you needed was a bit of love and support. 672 00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:51,130 It's not me, or the school, or authority you're angry with. 673 00:40:52,170 --> 00:40:53,220 It's yourselves. 674 00:40:54,390 --> 00:40:56,930 Now, we've torn down the walls between us. 675 00:40:57,250 --> 00:40:59,390 Let's start building something of value. 676 00:41:01,490 --> 00:41:03,310 Let's go outside and dance. 677 00:41:05,401 --> 00:41:12,669 Can I ask why you're wandering aimlessly around the school with a bunch of 678 00:41:12,670 --> 00:41:15,349 students who don't even belong in your class, Miss Pierce? 679 00:41:15,350 --> 00:41:17,270 I've taken them on as a special project. 680 00:41:17,370 --> 00:41:21,550 Actually, I wanted to ask you about starting a unique group devoted to... 681 00:41:23,620 --> 00:41:24,720 What? I said no. 682 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:26,960 No to groups and no to special projects. 683 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:32,239 But I really believe I'm messing up. I'm talking to myself here. I said no. Now 684 00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:35,559 stop fucking around and get these students back into their proper classes. 685 00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:36,610 But they need to. 686 00:42:15,380 --> 00:42:19,460 What the fuck are you lot doing here? 687 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:21,600 Get back to your classes now! 688 00:42:27,799 --> 00:42:30,280 Do you think Mr Chong will marry Carol now? 689 00:42:30,580 --> 00:42:33,650 He's married already, isn't he? Are you a bit disappointed? 690 00:42:33,651 --> 00:42:36,679 What, that Carol and Mr Chong can't get married? But you're not the father. 691 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,600 How would I explain a Chinese baby to my mum and dad? 692 00:42:39,601 --> 00:42:40,879 I'm disappointed. 693 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,170 I was quite looking forward to being an uncle. 694 00:42:43,171 --> 00:42:46,599 Probably for the best, though. You'd have been a shit -dog. 695 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,280 Fuck off, I'd have been brilliant. 696 00:42:48,380 --> 00:42:50,280 I'd have taken it to the zoo and... 697 00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:54,750 Taught it how to... Drink eight counts of lager. 698 00:42:54,820 --> 00:42:55,960 One can do a sock. 699 00:42:55,961 --> 00:42:59,899 I can't believe you think I'd be a shit dad. Well, you're a shit teacher, so 700 00:42:59,900 --> 00:43:01,040 it's not that big a leap. 701 00:43:01,140 --> 00:43:02,520 What's the matter with you? 702 00:43:02,740 --> 00:43:06,540 Were you upset that Claire got better and ruined your petty little dreams? 703 00:43:06,780 --> 00:43:11,380 Just when I was beginning to enjoy my job, she turns round and recovers. I 704 00:43:11,381 --> 00:43:12,259 two days. 705 00:43:12,260 --> 00:43:14,370 What can I put into operation in two days? 706 00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:15,960 Nothing. What was it then? 707 00:43:15,961 --> 00:43:17,839 Temporary personality disorder? 708 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:18,900 The menopause. 709 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:24,000 Most women flop about for two years, but oh no, she gets over it in two days. 710 00:43:24,001 --> 00:43:27,179 Maybe that's what happened to you. An early menopause brought on by an absence 711 00:43:27,180 --> 00:43:28,230 of alcohol. 712 00:43:28,260 --> 00:43:29,460 Alcohol's like your HRT. 713 00:43:29,461 --> 00:43:32,359 Don't give a fuck what it was, as long as it doesn't happen again. 714 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:35,310 That means you've got to keep drinking on medical grounds. 715 00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,160 Excellent. You're round. 716 00:43:37,540 --> 00:43:38,590 Fuck off. 717 00:43:38,591 --> 00:43:42,039 Well, I'm going to stop drinking right now. I'm never going to have another 718 00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,059 drink again, and I'm going to get Claire to let me turn your bitch into a... 719 00:43:45,060 --> 00:43:48,240 What was I going to turn your bitch into again? 720 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:49,650 A nature reserve. 721 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,580 Fuck me, I was mental. 722 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:54,650 Yeah, that. 723 00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:56,080 I'd like a pint, please. 724 00:43:57,220 --> 00:43:58,270 Have you noticed? 725 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,340 This place hasn't changed at all. 726 00:44:03,460 --> 00:44:07,490 They've actually stripped it out and replaced everything with exact replicas. 727 00:44:10,460 --> 00:44:11,960 What the fuck happened to you? 728 00:44:12,340 --> 00:44:14,920 Martin's dad was waiting for me after school. 729 00:44:15,260 --> 00:44:16,820 Gee. Yeah. 730 00:44:17,070 --> 00:44:18,570 Accused me of bullying his son. 731 00:44:18,830 --> 00:44:19,880 And where is he? 732 00:44:19,910 --> 00:44:21,150 I was inspiring him. 733 00:44:21,390 --> 00:44:26,890 Tapping into reservoirs of hidden potential, encouraging him to find his 734 00:44:26,930 --> 00:44:27,980 express himself. 735 00:44:28,430 --> 00:44:29,480 You listen to this. 736 00:44:30,670 --> 00:44:33,950 Love doesn't have to hurt to feel good. 737 00:44:34,450 --> 00:44:36,050 It's such a revelation. 738 00:44:36,570 --> 00:44:40,870 With you, I can be myself and always should. What the fuck? 739 00:44:47,370 --> 00:44:49,430 Fucking little shit. 740 00:44:51,650 --> 00:44:53,910 Oi, that's mine, you fat swat. 741 00:44:57,510 --> 00:45:02,389 If you're waiting to be carried shoulder high by grateful students, you'll wait 742 00:45:02,390 --> 00:45:03,630 a fucking lifetime. 743 00:45:04,150 --> 00:45:06,530 It doesn't happen. Never has. 744 00:45:06,531 --> 00:45:07,899 Fuck them. 745 00:45:07,900 --> 00:45:12,450 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 57558

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