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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,260 --> 00:00:10,380 Okay, I've got one. What if you could swap your head onto someone else's body? 2 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,380 How about my head onto Jenny's body? 3 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,580 Genius. Would you let me have a go? 4 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:17,480 From behind, obviously. 5 00:00:17,481 --> 00:00:18,919 Fuck off. 6 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:20,719 Well, at least let me have a look at your ass. 7 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,030 If anybody gets a look at your ass, it should be me. It's my birthday. 8 00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:26,550 I thought we weren't mentioning your birthday. 9 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:27,850 Give that here. 10 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,660 You can't do that. That's symbolic. Look what it says. 11 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,000 Young person's rail car. It's no use to you anymore. 12 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,020 You could still pass for 26. 13 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:40,680 In a low light. 14 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,360 All downhill from now on. 15 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,300 You want to find yourself someone. 16 00:00:44,301 --> 00:00:46,429 Why are you both still in working order? 17 00:00:46,430 --> 00:00:49,870 I got up with a girl last night. Name? Maggie. What did she do? 18 00:00:50,190 --> 00:00:51,240 Why not? 19 00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:53,849 Because it doesn't matter. You can't judge someone on what they do. 20 00:00:53,850 --> 00:00:54,889 Can't some people? 21 00:00:54,890 --> 00:00:57,909 She's funny and sexy and I really like her. Have you tagged her yet? 22 00:00:57,910 --> 00:01:00,270 Might have. Seen her again? Might do. Nice one. 23 00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:02,240 Okay. 24 00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:07,010 Maggie's head on Jenny's body. Or Jenny's head on Maggie's body. Oh, God. 25 00:01:07,011 --> 00:01:09,229 Maggie's head on Jenny's body. Definitely. 26 00:01:09,230 --> 00:01:12,279 Not that there's anything wrong with Maggie's body. It's just... 27 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,639 I couldn't cope with Jenny bossing me about all the time. 28 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:15,690 All right, children. 29 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,560 Where are we going next? 30 00:01:17,980 --> 00:01:20,690 It's my birthday, so you all have to do whatever I want. 31 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,880 Fucking someone so small, that's such a big arse. 32 00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:55,040 Quite nice actually. 33 00:01:55,350 --> 00:01:56,430 Never noticed before. 34 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,800 Fuck off! 35 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,070 Hold on a second, I wanna see the banana. 36 00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:54,480 Hey, like you weren't in bed were you? 37 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:56,570 I got you a present. 38 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:04,260 Who made that? 39 00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:42,530 Are you a stripper, Bram? 40 00:03:43,370 --> 00:03:44,420 I'm a police officer. 41 00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,810 I'm late. I've got to go. 42 00:04:20,519 --> 00:04:21,899 I want to be like you. 43 00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:25,200 Doing all the things you do. 44 00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:31,479 You're tearing me apart with the clothes you wear and you like the bed. Oh no, I 45 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,180 can't take you anywhere. 46 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,460 I want to be like you. 47 00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:39,100 I'll treat you like you want me to. 48 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:44,840 Then maybe we could do the things that we would like to do. 49 00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:42,610 Missed the weekly meeting. 50 00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:45,300 What's going on? 51 00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:48,489 One of the little shits broke in. They don't seem to have taken anything. 52 00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:51,080 Except another lump out of Jenny's sense of humour. 53 00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:56,300 Fuck. 54 00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,870 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 55 00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:00,360 Morning, Bob. 56 00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:04,750 You got rabies from the cheap bike? 57 00:06:04,751 --> 00:06:06,769 Ah, you want to watch that, mate? 58 00:06:06,770 --> 00:06:08,750 They could use it for forensic evidence. 59 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,050 Will you two shut up? 60 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,920 You really do look like shit. 61 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,060 I'll be fine after you make me a coffee. 62 00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:16,600 I'll have one while you rush it. 63 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,730 See you, please. 64 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,480 Of course. I have tips. I'm better qualified. 65 00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:22,460 You haven't got time anyway. 66 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:23,910 I drink it in class. 67 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:25,990 Two sugars. 68 00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:31,200 Isn't it a coincidence that Angie's off sick every time she has 8F? 69 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,420 Never had the pleasure. 70 00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:36,290 This is shit, but they're quite entertaining. 71 00:06:44,359 --> 00:06:45,409 Jenny! 72 00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:59,240 Have a good weekend. 73 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,350 Only because the promise of this stimulating exchange got me through it. 74 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,490 No need to ask what you were up to last night. 75 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:14,420 Oh, fuck, she knows. 76 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,090 Well, if she doesn't, you just stink of booze. 77 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,040 Look at the buttocks on that one. 78 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,480 Ah, no, no, no. 79 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,240 No. I'm sorry. 80 00:07:26,241 --> 00:07:27,939 Are you going to tell her, or shall I? 81 00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:28,859 Tell me what? 82 00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:30,480 School's a no -smoking building. 83 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,410 Claire's new rule. 84 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,050 Great fun, a long one. 85 00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:48,620 No one ever told me smoking is not big and it's not urban. Yes, it is. 86 00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:50,640 And what about a smoking room? 87 00:07:50,641 --> 00:07:52,359 Should we name it, I suppose? 88 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,410 Just call it Room. 89 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,350 Susan? 90 00:07:58,220 --> 00:07:59,270 Susan, 91 00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,480 would you mind taking 8F? Andy's sick again. 92 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,440 They're quite entertaining. 93 00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:11,990 A bunch of retards. 94 00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:14,080 Good luck, Susan. 95 00:08:14,430 --> 00:08:15,480 Good luck, Susan. 96 00:08:39,131 --> 00:08:44,199 about it at all. Thanks, darling. Leave that till break. 97 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:48,740 Party on Friday, film on Saturday, birthday yesterday. 98 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:53,260 Happy birthday, sir. Thank you very much. Anybody not here? 99 00:08:53,261 --> 00:08:58,239 So have you managed to mark our English this weekend, sir? I just told you, it's 100 00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:58,959 my birthday. 101 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,010 How old? 102 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,500 None of your business. 103 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:06,540 Come on, somebody cheer me up. Well, my mum said she'd give you one. Look, 104 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:10,549 that's very generous, but I've never even laid eyes on it. Yeah, you have. 105 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,810 whistled at you on Friday. 106 00:09:12,350 --> 00:09:13,400 Your mother? 107 00:09:13,401 --> 00:09:15,329 And she's single if you're interested. 108 00:09:15,330 --> 00:09:16,209 That was your mother? 109 00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:18,129 Yeah, how come you're not married, Simon? 110 00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:19,250 I'm way too young. 111 00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:23,490 Come on, Jeremy. 112 00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:54,720 always got Valium, if you're desperate. 113 00:09:54,721 --> 00:09:58,579 And my year 12's going to get you some smack, if you threaten them with 114 00:09:58,580 --> 00:10:00,750 suspension. Cigarettes are due, thank you. 115 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,630 But you'd have to inject it, because smoking, banned. 116 00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:06,040 I fancy Pauline Young's mother. 117 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:09,719 That's the world, Anne. I started fancying the kids' mothers. 118 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,319 Don't worry about it. Another ten years of teaching, you'll go back to looking 119 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,370 at the girls. 120 00:10:13,371 --> 00:10:16,219 Why do I always fancy the most inappropriate people? 121 00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:18,930 I thought you'd just met some girl you liked. No, no, no. 122 00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:20,020 Decided not to bother. 123 00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:24,779 She's got two arms and two legs, hasn't she? Yeah, but I just don't think I'm 124 00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:28,540 ready for a girlfriend. I want to keep my options open for a bit. 125 00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:29,910 What options? 126 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,700 Oh, yeah, I forgot. They're queuing around the block. I meet women. 127 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,360 Women who fancy me. 128 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,620 Sometimes. Of course you do. 129 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,280 Simon, a friend here wants you. 130 00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:43,080 Does no one else want him? 131 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,590 If it's another suicide attempt, tell him they must try harder. 132 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,090 Outside, now. 133 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:52,970 I don't even smoke. 134 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,290 Fucking hell! 135 00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:57,430 I didn't do anything. 136 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,720 Debbie. What the fuck did you do to him? What was his idea? 137 00:11:02,721 --> 00:11:03,699 What was? 138 00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:04,750 The tattoo. 139 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,440 Daniel? He wanted us to do Daniela. 140 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:10,610 Daniela Parkhurst? 141 00:11:10,611 --> 00:11:13,459 Couldn't you have just done her initials like anyone else? We were doing all 142 00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:14,720 right until we got to the L. 143 00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:19,380 I mean, we had to dig around a bit, but then the blood just... And Teddy just... 144 00:11:20,271 --> 00:11:23,169 I'm going to have to tell Paige. 145 00:11:23,170 --> 00:11:24,550 Don't, Simon. Please. 146 00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:09,970 The point is you can't help who you fancy. 147 00:12:09,971 --> 00:12:14,119 The most unlikely person can pop up, and before you know it, you're thinking 148 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,280 about them all the time. 149 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:19,799 Same with Romeo and Juliet. They were compelled to love each other, even 150 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,180 everybody said it was wrong. 151 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,860 But you can't choose who you fall in love with. 152 00:12:23,861 --> 00:12:25,979 They didn't need to kill themselves over it. 153 00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:28,510 The only thing they ever wanted was to be together. 154 00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:33,560 They passionately believed in what they had. This was their ultimate dream. 155 00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:35,340 They would have got over it. 156 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:37,520 They wanted to do things their own way. 157 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,560 But the more they were forbidden... 158 00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:41,510 The more they wanted to fight for it. 159 00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:44,290 Have you never felt the urge to rebel? 160 00:12:45,430 --> 00:12:47,690 This page's class are just reading the text. 161 00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:51,990 There's plenty of time for that. I'm only saying that... All right, all 162 00:12:51,991 --> 00:12:55,749 There must be something you've always wanted. Something you've dreamed of with 163 00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:59,429 passion that nobody could ever take away from you. Something you'd sacrifice 164 00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:00,530 everything for. 165 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:05,910 I would quite like to play for Bristol City. You are one very sad individual. 166 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,540 How about owning Man United? 167 00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,110 Yeah, all right. 168 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:14,180 I'd quite like to have sex with Ryan Giggs, please. That's more like it. 169 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,610 And I'll try and hold on to first -team things you ask so nicely. 170 00:13:21,940 --> 00:13:25,670 Can I interest anyone in the Australian women's beach volleyball squad? 171 00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:38,430 I need to be headmaster. 172 00:13:39,790 --> 00:13:42,710 In fact, I want to be you, Simon. 173 00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:49,069 You are the best teacher ever, much more than that frigid teaching machine next 174 00:13:49,070 --> 00:13:51,890 door. I do, she has got a nice arm. 175 00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:09,510 easy to concentrate. 176 00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:20,830 Don't worry Simon, she talks to us like that too. 177 00:14:30,231 --> 00:14:36,579 You could undermine me a little bit more in front of the class, only I don't 178 00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:37,780 feel enough of a twat yet. 179 00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:38,910 Grow up, Simon. 180 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:42,279 Oh, and if by any chance you happen to know where Shakespeare's head is, I'd 181 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,319 like it back, please. 182 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,760 There's not too much trouble. 183 00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:47,620 She definitely knows. 184 00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:48,910 Who knows what? 185 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,010 Jenny. 186 00:14:50,011 --> 00:14:53,479 She knows it was us. Well, me, and she's power -mad and she hates me, and now 187 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,860 she's going to get me sacked. 188 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:58,210 What we did with Childish, it was hardly a thackable offence. 189 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:04,079 Look, if you like, I'm going to apologise to her for all of this. Oh, 190 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,979 then she really will know it was me and she'll hold it over me for the rest of 191 00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:07,599 my life. 192 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:08,800 You know what she's like. 193 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,820 What is your obsession with Ginny? 194 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,650 I'm not obsessed. She's obsessed with me. 195 00:15:14,460 --> 00:15:15,510 There's a tub. 196 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,560 Can somebody call for me? 197 00:15:17,561 --> 00:15:20,859 I've got a client coming round who wants to impress. They'll get a cooked dinner 198 00:15:20,860 --> 00:15:21,679 for him. 199 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,180 And that's going to win a crown. 200 00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:24,910 I'll give you one. 201 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,600 I'm just wondering why Teddy Randall left school early. 202 00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:32,840 I think he said he had an urgent orthodontal appointment. 203 00:15:34,310 --> 00:15:36,130 Make sure Liz gets his slip. 204 00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:41,070 Why do you have to lie all the time? 205 00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:48,729 I'm sorry to interrupt, but... Don't either. I wish you had to be known she's 206 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:52,370 moving your directive time to end of every Friday from now on. 207 00:15:53,810 --> 00:15:55,110 I'm only the messenger. 208 00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:57,360 I've got kids. 209 00:15:57,361 --> 00:15:59,059 I mean, you fancy her. 210 00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:00,110 You're so quick. 211 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,210 Oh, no way, not now. 212 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,370 You have to, come on. 213 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,610 Jenny! 214 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:07,730 Simon wants you. 215 00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:12,760 We're all going to the pub. Do you fancy one? 216 00:16:12,761 --> 00:16:16,599 That would be lovely, but right now I'd rather nail my own head to the table. 217 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,650 Fair enough. 218 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,060 Two metres, unobstructed view. 219 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:24,650 Tremendous. 220 00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:25,870 Well played. 221 00:16:28,839 --> 00:16:31,699 Jenny? I guess 222 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:49,859 I'm 223 00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:52,200 alright. Guess I'm alright. 224 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,360 I guess I'm doing fine. 225 00:16:58,010 --> 00:16:59,570 Yes, I'm doing fine. 226 00:17:02,390 --> 00:17:04,470 Do you think I miss you? 227 00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:07,530 Do you think I care? 228 00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:12,609 Do you think I'm laid down to die? 229 00:17:14,609 --> 00:17:16,310 You've never even tried. 230 00:17:16,311 --> 00:17:20,108 Where the fuck have you been? You were supposed to be here hours ago. 231 00:17:20,109 --> 00:17:21,849 Union meeting. Yeah, in the pub. 232 00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:23,550 Come here now, all right? 233 00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,770 Just as well by the looks of it. 234 00:17:25,771 --> 00:17:29,919 You are the most unreliable, untrustworthy little shit. Fine! 235 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,840 You obviously don't need my help there. 236 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,110 Bye, fella. 237 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:39,930 Bye. Bye. 238 00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:55,180 It's really nice to get to meet you at last. 239 00:18:57,990 --> 00:18:59,510 Yeah, yeah, you too. 240 00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:01,750 I'm sure it won't be the last time. 241 00:19:02,090 --> 00:19:03,140 Great. 242 00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:10,130 Great. How about next weekend, maybe? 243 00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:17,469 If you're busy, or maybe not. The weekend after would be... Can you 244 00:19:17,470 --> 00:19:20,840 find it? I think this might be a good time to mention the other thing. 245 00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:25,019 Right. The thing. I told you, the brandy's under the stairs with the rest 246 00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:26,300 booze. What? 247 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,070 Yes, I know. It's just that we're getting married. 248 00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:31,110 What? Who? 249 00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:32,830 Marcella and me. 250 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,440 I and Marcella. 251 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,810 Marcella and I. 252 00:20:29,550 --> 00:20:30,600 Surprise. 253 00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:33,410 Not really. 254 00:20:33,890 --> 00:20:37,030 Um, are you entirely not Colonel? 255 00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:39,250 I just felt some nipples. 256 00:21:01,230 --> 00:21:02,280 Go for it. 257 00:21:37,770 --> 00:21:38,970 So, how's your sofa? 258 00:21:39,490 --> 00:21:40,540 Short and hard. 259 00:21:41,030 --> 00:21:42,080 What, especially? 260 00:21:48,130 --> 00:21:51,070 Right, well, I'm going to work. 261 00:21:51,430 --> 00:21:52,480 See you again, maybe. 262 00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:04,830 Doesn't surprise me at all. 263 00:22:05,090 --> 00:22:06,610 He's an attractive man. 264 00:22:06,611 --> 00:22:08,049 You're ridiculous. 265 00:22:08,050 --> 00:22:09,089 He's my dad. 266 00:22:09,090 --> 00:22:10,870 So he's not allowed a libido? 267 00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:13,760 No one I have to listen to now. And it's not the point. 268 00:22:13,890 --> 00:22:15,510 I made a pact with my new mother. 269 00:22:16,390 --> 00:22:17,950 You're in need of us now, are we? 270 00:22:19,070 --> 00:22:23,250 So you're jealous of him? No, I'm not. I'm only being friendly. 271 00:22:23,730 --> 00:22:25,750 Sounds like a classic case of denial. 272 00:22:26,530 --> 00:22:27,580 Bollocks, is it? 273 00:22:27,581 --> 00:22:30,449 Tell me now, you're a little one. He doesn't have to marry her. 274 00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:34,229 So it's your commitment phobia we're dealing with. You're projecting your own 275 00:22:34,230 --> 00:22:35,310 fears onto your dad. 276 00:22:36,270 --> 00:22:37,350 It's not our conflict. 277 00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:41,680 She's making a big mistake. She's too young for it. They're not too old for 278 00:22:41,910 --> 00:22:46,249 Where your older woman fetish has come from? I do not have a thing about older 279 00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,330 women. Well, it's one of three things. 280 00:22:48,770 --> 00:22:50,890 One, you're jealous of your dad. 281 00:22:51,410 --> 00:22:55,589 Two, you're having trouble coming to terms with the fact that you fancy older 282 00:22:55,590 --> 00:23:01,229 women. Or three, and probably most likely, you're disturbed by the fact 283 00:23:01,230 --> 00:23:03,110 no longer see these women as older. 284 00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:08,500 which means you see yourself at a similar age to them, and that frightens 285 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,400 It makes you act like a teenager. 286 00:23:12,060 --> 00:23:15,240 You're a teacher, not a therapist. They teach psychology. 287 00:23:15,980 --> 00:23:17,320 16 -year -olds? 288 00:23:18,340 --> 00:23:19,390 Oh, God. 289 00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:23,899 That's today's time. I can't wait any longer. Yes, I've done them. I'll bring 290 00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:24,699 them to you later. 291 00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:28,659 Oh, God. I need your department averages, Paul. Yes, I've done them. 292 00:23:28,660 --> 00:23:29,920 them to you later. Good man. 293 00:23:35,649 --> 00:23:38,119 Teddy Randall's mother's just been on the phone. 294 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:42,909 It seems he tried tattooing himself at break time yesterday and ended up in 295 00:23:42,910 --> 00:23:46,809 casualty with a septic arm. I'm sure all this could have been avoided had he 296 00:23:46,810 --> 00:23:49,230 been given proper medical attention in school. 297 00:23:49,231 --> 00:23:55,329 It's not in anyone's interest for parents to think we can't control our 298 00:23:55,330 --> 00:24:00,129 students, so in future any accidents should be reported immediately to the 299 00:24:00,130 --> 00:24:01,159 ahead. 300 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:05,860 The upshot of all this is I want to ban tattooing and to insist that all nose, 301 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,340 eyebrow, lip and tongue rings are removed in school. 302 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:12,100 Soon as possible, please. 303 00:24:16,420 --> 00:24:19,760 You covered for a kid who carved up his own arm. 304 00:24:19,761 --> 00:24:22,119 There's nothing about it. We all did it once. 305 00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:25,600 I didn't. I did. Well, I pierced my hair, but I did it myself. 306 00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:29,729 Why didn't you tell me about Teddy? 307 00:24:29,730 --> 00:24:30,629 Why do you think? 308 00:24:30,630 --> 00:24:33,849 He's in my tutor group, he's my responsibility, and I should have dealt 309 00:24:33,850 --> 00:24:37,009 Me, me, me, me, me. Look, you didn't want me to tell you, all right? 310 00:24:37,010 --> 00:24:39,909 Oh, well, that's all right, then, as long as we're doing what the students 311 00:24:39,910 --> 00:24:42,989 I'm not going to stop them expressing themselves. Next time you feel the need 312 00:24:42,990 --> 00:24:46,290 encourage a child to risk their health, discuss it with me first. 313 00:24:46,291 --> 00:24:50,429 I may only be acting yearhead, but at least I could point you in the right 314 00:24:50,430 --> 00:24:51,810 direction for the hospital. 315 00:24:52,810 --> 00:24:55,280 How do you know you're making a dick of yourself? 316 00:25:16,650 --> 00:25:18,700 Don't look at me like that. It's your rule. 317 00:25:18,701 --> 00:25:23,109 If I'm being a dickhead, it's because she makes me behave like a dickhead. She 318 00:25:23,110 --> 00:25:24,370 brings out the worst in me. 319 00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:25,570 You fancy her. 320 00:25:25,890 --> 00:25:28,130 I do not. I couldn't. No way. 321 00:25:28,790 --> 00:25:32,460 It's not just the age thing. It's women in authority you have a thing about. 322 00:25:32,470 --> 00:25:34,870 Does Claire do it for you as well? 323 00:25:35,190 --> 00:25:36,350 I'm going to be sick. 324 00:25:36,351 --> 00:25:37,689 Well, it makes sense. 325 00:25:37,690 --> 00:25:40,970 Your new mum, Pauline Young's mother, Jenny. 326 00:25:41,570 --> 00:25:43,890 And I bet Maggie fits in there somehow. 327 00:25:44,350 --> 00:25:45,400 Oh, it works. 328 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,630 You'd be a lot happier if you just admit that you identify with these people. 329 00:25:49,631 --> 00:25:51,859 Because you've a lot in common with them. 330 00:25:51,860 --> 00:25:53,040 But I don't want to. 331 00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:54,860 You sound like one of the kids. 332 00:25:54,861 --> 00:25:56,179 That's why they like me. 333 00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:58,710 You're supposed to be a reliable adult role model. 334 00:25:58,711 --> 00:26:01,719 You're supposed to be nice to me. That's what you're for. 335 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:06,839 I am being nice to you. In this case, being nice to you means pointing out 336 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,950 you're behaving like a complete toss -up. 337 00:26:25,740 --> 00:26:27,910 all policies, so come on, take them all off. 338 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,580 Take them off. 339 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:37,380 Mean it, Pauline. 340 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,770 Is there any chance of those essays yet, sir? 341 00:26:43,771 --> 00:26:45,819 What is your big hurry with those essays? 342 00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:49,959 I'm worried that you're getting left behind. We should be moving on to the 343 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,999 assignment. Look, I'm not giving them to you now, all right, because I have a 344 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,260 different plan for today. 345 00:27:01,830 --> 00:27:05,550 Turn to act three, scene six. Tanya, read the soliloquy. 346 00:27:05,551 --> 00:27:06,509 The what? 347 00:27:06,510 --> 00:27:07,560 Big C. 348 00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:09,720 Oi! 349 00:27:10,190 --> 00:27:11,390 Time of the month, Simon. 350 00:27:11,391 --> 00:27:15,409 This is important. There's always exam questions on this bit. 351 00:27:15,410 --> 00:27:16,850 Is this all we're going to do? 352 00:27:16,890 --> 00:27:18,890 This is what we're supposed to be doing. 353 00:27:19,590 --> 00:27:20,640 Tanya. 354 00:27:21,410 --> 00:27:22,460 Pauline! 355 00:27:22,690 --> 00:27:23,890 What was all that about? 356 00:27:23,990 --> 00:27:28,449 Where? Here. When? Don't ask me about. What's going on with you lot? Oh, it's 357 00:27:28,450 --> 00:27:29,500 about that new ball. 358 00:27:29,610 --> 00:27:31,840 Show off that I should tell you. Tell me what? 359 00:27:31,910 --> 00:27:33,610 Just that I have a pierced nipple. 360 00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:39,030 That's against school policy. 361 00:27:40,170 --> 00:27:42,310 What, are you going to make me take it out? 362 00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:46,050 No, but just don't go getting any other things done. Wow. 363 00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:48,030 I'm getting a tattoo done next week. 364 00:27:48,530 --> 00:27:49,610 You want to see where? 365 00:27:53,990 --> 00:27:58,690 What is it? 366 00:27:58,691 --> 00:28:00,919 Should I put the paramedics on standby? 367 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:04,360 No, no, no, no. I just realised it was lunchtime and I'm very hungry. 368 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:05,610 Are you? 369 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,320 And don't let that happen again. 370 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:08,450 What's that? 371 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,770 Chewing gum in class. Can you believe that? 372 00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:15,519 Barely. I, er, hope you'll be keeping me behind for a private session again 373 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,160 tomorrow, Simon. 374 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,919 She doesn't mean... Wouldn't dream of, well, not in school or anywhere. Don't 375 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,859 worry. I don't believe for a... Second, there's the slightest possibility of 376 00:28:26,860 --> 00:28:29,690 anyone, let alone a student, succumbing to your charms. 377 00:28:38,111 --> 00:28:40,139 Oh, God. 378 00:28:40,140 --> 00:28:41,320 You said today, Simon. 379 00:28:41,321 --> 00:28:44,139 I'm sorry, Bob. I've done them, but I left them at home. In the morning, I 380 00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:47,440 promise. Totally life was a little less predictable, eh? 381 00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:52,990 You left them? 382 00:28:53,220 --> 00:28:54,270 No, they are at home. 383 00:28:54,271 --> 00:28:55,849 Oh, God, that would be great. 384 00:28:55,850 --> 00:29:00,149 That bit, yeah. They only want to list the numbers. Why don't you just make 385 00:29:00,150 --> 00:29:01,710 up? No, I want to do it right. 386 00:29:03,030 --> 00:29:04,080 Weird. 387 00:29:04,150 --> 00:29:05,230 This is all your fault. 388 00:29:05,231 --> 00:29:06,489 What now? 389 00:29:06,490 --> 00:29:09,629 You practice your cod psychology on me and the next thing I know I'm teaching 390 00:29:09,630 --> 00:29:12,849 the book. The kids all hate me and they're not taking a blind bit of notice 391 00:29:12,850 --> 00:29:13,709 anything I say. 392 00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:14,970 Welcome to my world. 393 00:29:14,971 --> 00:29:16,629 It's stick and carrot, mate. 394 00:29:16,630 --> 00:29:20,389 Shut up for half a lesson. Look at Celebrity Arthur's website. The other 395 00:29:20,390 --> 00:29:21,810 lesson. That kind of thing. 396 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:23,960 That's really useful, thanks. 397 00:29:24,220 --> 00:29:27,470 It's all about showing them who's in charge. You're the grown -up. 398 00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,320 All right, you're the one with the degree. 399 00:29:30,321 --> 00:29:34,459 Once they realise you're not going to take any shit from them, they'll respect 400 00:29:34,460 --> 00:29:35,510 you for it. 401 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,770 Kids need to know where the boundaries are. 402 00:29:38,871 --> 00:29:40,859 You're right. 403 00:29:40,860 --> 00:29:42,880 You're taking advice from a PE teacher. 404 00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,400 Well, Liz has a certain maturity. 405 00:29:59,660 --> 00:30:03,940 But Carol, I have to say, does have an appealing wildness about the eye. 406 00:30:05,100 --> 00:30:08,760 More glad tidings to impart from the offices of Mrs. Hunter. 407 00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:14,059 As from today, teachers are no longer allowed to smoke anywhere on school 408 00:30:14,060 --> 00:30:15,110 premises. 409 00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:19,860 Don't want to give our students confusing signals, do we, Susan? 410 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,580 Pauline. Pauline! I need a word. 411 00:30:33,581 --> 00:30:34,739 Yeah, what? 412 00:30:34,740 --> 00:30:35,790 In private. 413 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:40,650 Come on. 414 00:30:42,420 --> 00:30:45,500 Stand there. 415 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,120 You were well out of order earlier. 416 00:30:50,460 --> 00:30:51,510 What did I do? 417 00:30:51,540 --> 00:30:54,970 Talking to me like that in front of Miss Page and that skirt business. 418 00:30:54,971 --> 00:30:58,959 So why did you cover for me? Because you've got us both in the shit and 419 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,299 far too young to get a tattoo. That is none of your business. It is now because 420 00:31:02,300 --> 00:31:04,799 you told me about it. I'm trying to stop you making a mistake. 421 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,450 Yeah, well, I'm really going to take advice from you. 422 00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:10,120 I could send you to see Mrs Hunter. 423 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:14,059 Go on, then. Look, I am the adult here. I'm the one with the degree and I'm 424 00:31:14,060 --> 00:31:15,260 telling you, don't do it. 425 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:17,850 Fuck off. 426 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,640 Well, I don't trust anybody who... smiles as much as Claire does. 427 00:31:26,641 --> 00:31:30,619 I mean, she's very good at giving the illusion of democracy, but she don't go 428 00:31:30,620 --> 00:31:31,259 all the way. 429 00:31:31,260 --> 00:31:32,310 God, no. 430 00:31:33,140 --> 00:31:35,100 We're not teachers any more. 431 00:31:35,101 --> 00:31:39,399 I prefer it the way it used to be, when teachers just knew stuff and it had to 432 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:40,450 educate kids. 433 00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:42,740 Now the stuff keeps getting changed. 434 00:31:43,100 --> 00:31:45,000 Nobody knows who knows what any more. 435 00:31:48,380 --> 00:31:51,260 Can we please talk about sex or football? 436 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,060 Maybe I never had control. 437 00:31:53,061 --> 00:31:56,569 They definitely don't respect me anymore. Maybe they never did. 438 00:31:56,570 --> 00:31:58,470 Who doesn't respect you now? 439 00:31:59,510 --> 00:32:01,190 Pauline O 'Fuckoff -Young. 440 00:32:01,450 --> 00:32:03,930 Okay, Pauline O 'Fuckoff -Young. 441 00:32:04,790 --> 00:32:06,090 Or Nicola Coleman. 442 00:32:06,870 --> 00:32:10,310 Who's Nicola Coleman? Nicola Iclandula Coleman. 443 00:32:10,770 --> 00:32:12,030 Fat girl, year 12. 444 00:32:13,290 --> 00:32:15,810 I can't do this now. I've got books to mark. 445 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,040 What was that? 446 00:32:49,180 --> 00:32:51,760 What? What was that? 447 00:32:52,910 --> 00:32:55,260 Well, I suppose this one must seem a bit sudden. 448 00:32:55,261 --> 00:32:58,229 Well, you haven't been with a woman for years, and then the first one comes 449 00:32:58,230 --> 00:32:59,490 along. She's not the first. 450 00:32:59,491 --> 00:33:01,749 I don't have to tell you everything. 451 00:33:01,750 --> 00:33:03,250 But you don't tell me anything. 452 00:33:04,390 --> 00:33:08,510 I would... We were concerned that people might disapprove. 453 00:33:09,390 --> 00:33:11,130 We haven't been together very long. 454 00:33:11,131 --> 00:33:13,169 There are other factors involved. 455 00:33:13,170 --> 00:33:14,250 What are the factors? 456 00:33:16,110 --> 00:33:17,190 Marcella's daughter. 457 00:33:17,930 --> 00:33:18,980 Your new sister. 458 00:33:19,430 --> 00:33:21,130 Perfect. She's four. 459 00:33:21,131 --> 00:33:24,639 So now you're going to have a wife and a baby? It's called commitment, but I 460 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,299 wouldn't expect you to... Oh, here we go. If you don't know what to do with 461 00:33:27,300 --> 00:33:29,770 life or who to do it with, that's your problem. I do. 462 00:33:29,940 --> 00:33:31,920 Sorry. Should I come back later? 463 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:33,530 I'm going now. 464 00:33:45,231 --> 00:33:47,279 Don't shout. 465 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,630 Are you getting anything done for yesterday? 466 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,090 Do you mind? 467 00:33:53,460 --> 00:33:56,859 This is our place for fun and recreation. I thought it would be a good 468 00:33:56,860 --> 00:33:58,060 supportive atmosphere. 469 00:33:58,180 --> 00:34:00,830 You've got nowhere else to go, have you? Do you have? 470 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:02,280 Oh, let me see. 471 00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:05,320 I have a lovely house I share with my lovely husband. 472 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:07,130 Me too. 473 00:34:08,739 --> 00:34:12,349 Look, can you just talk amongst yourselves for a bit? I'm trying my best 474 00:34:12,380 --> 00:34:13,430 Did I tell you? 475 00:34:13,780 --> 00:34:14,830 Jenny came to see me. 476 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,820 She was really upset about seeing me. 477 00:34:18,380 --> 00:34:23,050 Yeah. Liz said that, Jenny said that, Claire said she's positive it's Simon. 478 00:34:23,570 --> 00:34:27,928 But until the forensics come back, there's still no proof. And Jenny said 479 00:34:27,929 --> 00:34:33,388 part of the reason she was so upset was that she'd messed up. All right, I give 480 00:34:33,389 --> 00:34:35,439 in. But you've got to help me finish these. 481 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:36,448 How much? 482 00:34:36,449 --> 00:34:37,499 Half a pint of book. 483 00:34:39,810 --> 00:34:44,969 How can you give that an A? 484 00:34:45,230 --> 00:34:47,700 It's great. It gets right in there in every debate. 485 00:34:47,701 --> 00:34:50,569 Good as that, if you can't write a coherent sentence. 486 00:34:50,570 --> 00:34:51,890 I'm teaching them to think. 487 00:34:51,891 --> 00:34:52,769 Not healthy. 488 00:34:52,770 --> 00:34:55,550 Finally, Paulie knows what I've got. Young, C -. 489 00:34:55,989 --> 00:34:57,039 Beach, make it a D. 490 00:34:57,790 --> 00:35:00,140 Glad to see you haven't lost your objectivity. 491 00:35:00,970 --> 00:35:04,810 So, this will be the new you, then, will it? How do you mean? 492 00:35:05,110 --> 00:35:08,030 You know I'm going to grow up, be a good role model, yeah. 493 00:35:08,290 --> 00:35:10,870 It wasn't working. I'm better the way I was. 494 00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:13,160 Goodnight. 495 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:23,530 you're going. 496 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:28,250 I don't want to listen to my dad's shagging. Can I stay with you and pizza? 497 00:35:30,660 --> 00:35:32,380 No. Good night. 498 00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:34,550 Lads? 499 00:36:00,230 --> 00:36:01,280 It's you. 500 00:36:05,741 --> 00:36:11,949 Can't you just keep turning up in the middle of the night when you haven't got 501 00:36:11,950 --> 00:36:13,000 anywhere else to go? 502 00:36:13,130 --> 00:36:14,180 I don't. 503 00:36:14,490 --> 00:36:17,450 I'm here because I want to be. I wanted to see you again. 504 00:36:17,690 --> 00:36:18,740 Why? 505 00:36:19,050 --> 00:36:21,890 It's just... Well, I haven't seen you for a bit. 506 00:36:22,170 --> 00:36:23,220 Cheers. 507 00:36:23,570 --> 00:36:27,410 And I haven't got your phone number, and I... I like you. 508 00:36:28,390 --> 00:36:29,550 You came out for a shag. 509 00:36:29,790 --> 00:36:31,990 No. Oh, so you came round for a chat? 510 00:36:32,250 --> 00:36:33,300 Yes. 511 00:36:34,650 --> 00:36:35,700 Go on, then. 512 00:36:42,830 --> 00:36:47,430 So, uh... How are the latest crimes to this day? 513 00:36:47,431 --> 00:36:50,649 Well, obviously, being a police officer, I wouldn't be interested in anything 514 00:36:50,650 --> 00:36:51,700 else. 515 00:36:51,770 --> 00:36:52,820 At midnight. 516 00:36:52,821 --> 00:36:57,149 Look, Simon, is there a reason why you only turn up in the middle of the night 517 00:36:57,150 --> 00:36:58,770 when I haven't got my uniform on? 518 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:03,640 I mean, are you on the most wanted list, or do you have a problem with my job? 519 00:37:03,641 --> 00:37:05,839 No, I haven't got a problem with it. That's just out of interest. 520 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:06,759 What do you do? 521 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,320 I'm a... I work in a school. 522 00:37:14,460 --> 00:37:15,510 I'm a teacher. 523 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,090 Oh. 524 00:37:17,260 --> 00:37:19,900 You... Well, you... You... 525 00:37:19,901 --> 00:37:23,389 And a kid. All right. What's the difference between what you do and what 526 00:37:23,390 --> 00:37:26,289 We both walk around telling people what to do all day, except your people are 527 00:37:26,290 --> 00:37:28,889 smaller. I don't tell people what to do all day. Well, you do if you're doing it 528 00:37:28,890 --> 00:37:32,129 properly. Well, teaching's not just about bossing people about. 529 00:37:32,130 --> 00:37:33,009 Oh, bless. 530 00:37:33,010 --> 00:37:34,750 Do you want to sleep on your sofa? No. 531 00:37:34,810 --> 00:37:39,689 Look, Simon, you're really nice, but I'm not even sure I want a relationship at 532 00:37:39,690 --> 00:37:42,649 the moment, particularly not with someone whose behaviour gets more 533 00:37:42,650 --> 00:37:44,550 erratic every day. Neither do I. Good. 534 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,380 Yeah, I'd like it or not. 535 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,520 Stop! I'd like it on a chain. 536 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:27,200 Oh, I didn't get it. Surely you didn't see this. It's just embarrassing. 537 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,200 I dig it, dog. 538 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,800 I love God all the same. 539 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,110 Are you doing Treasure Island this week or just having a midlife crisis? 540 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:44,240 I fucking hate her. She's such a... 541 00:38:44,540 --> 00:38:48,880 Narrow -minded, conformist little careerist, and she's so mature. 542 00:38:49,420 --> 00:38:50,470 What an insult. 543 00:38:50,471 --> 00:38:52,979 You know why you get so worked up about it, don't you? 544 00:38:52,980 --> 00:38:54,030 Not if again. 545 00:38:54,100 --> 00:38:59,380 A well -known psychological principle is a very thin line between love and hate. 546 00:39:00,620 --> 00:39:01,670 You're sick. 547 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:07,940 It's Shane Ritchie! 548 00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,140 My God, is it 1992 already? 549 00:39:14,860 --> 00:39:15,910 You're the only one. 550 00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:17,800 I don't give a shit. 551 00:39:18,340 --> 00:39:19,600 Who are these, Simon? 552 00:39:19,820 --> 00:39:20,870 Who do you think? 553 00:39:20,871 --> 00:39:22,839 Well, this isn't your handwriting. 554 00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:23,739 Is it a good mark? 555 00:39:23,740 --> 00:39:24,519 A star. 556 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:25,339 B minus. 557 00:39:25,340 --> 00:39:27,600 Well, it'll be a lot less if you don't shut up. 558 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,930 You get what I said about the tattoo? Do whatever makes you happy. 559 00:39:31,931 --> 00:39:35,379 Right, there is space. That's tough against the wall. We're going to need 560 00:39:35,380 --> 00:39:36,430 room to do this. 561 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,520 Who wants to be Romeo? 562 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,670 Anybody who wants to be bored shitless can go next door and see Miss Payne. 563 00:39:49,781 --> 00:39:51,869 Nice chance. 564 00:39:51,870 --> 00:39:53,730 You're not going to believe this, Bob. 565 00:39:54,050 --> 00:39:55,250 All present and correct. 566 00:39:56,470 --> 00:39:59,000 Yeah, but very late. Look at them now, aren't they? 567 00:39:59,001 --> 00:40:02,449 Why is everything a battle with you? I don't know if you've known this, but 568 00:40:02,450 --> 00:40:03,500 hell. Well, 569 00:40:03,501 --> 00:40:07,009 Heather, you think my classes are boring. 570 00:40:07,010 --> 00:40:08,090 I never said anything. 571 00:40:08,091 --> 00:40:09,669 Did I? 572 00:40:09,670 --> 00:40:12,689 No, you wouldn't have dreamt of shouting that out in front of your whole class, 573 00:40:12,690 --> 00:40:15,940 would you? Right, well, that's not exactly what I said. I was just... 574 00:40:15,941 --> 00:40:19,609 comparing how I do things. Don't you ever discuss me or any other teacher 575 00:40:19,610 --> 00:40:20,509 your class again. 576 00:40:20,510 --> 00:40:23,309 Well, don't talk to me like I'm one of your students. I'll talk to you, 577 00:40:23,310 --> 00:40:26,849 I'll please if you're going to call my professionalism into question. 578 00:40:26,850 --> 00:40:30,169 Not that you're in any position to comment on anything in that arena. 579 00:40:30,170 --> 00:40:33,389 What's that supposed to mean? It means that while you're playing at being a 580 00:40:33,390 --> 00:40:36,249 teacher, some of us are trying to do the job properly. Well, maybe I don't get 581 00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:39,429 turned on ticking boxes and filling out forms like you do. But let's just try to 582 00:40:39,430 --> 00:40:40,729 teach them in a way they like. 583 00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:42,650 It's not supposed to be entertainment. 584 00:40:42,651 --> 00:40:43,829 I'm not in your class anyway. 585 00:40:43,830 --> 00:40:46,649 Who the fuck do you think you are? I'm someone who at least has a go at being 586 00:40:46,650 --> 00:40:47,349 their wavelength. 587 00:40:47,350 --> 00:40:49,880 So that's why the pathetic little act of defiance. 588 00:40:50,210 --> 00:40:54,449 At least I don't seem like a cold, miserable, uptight bitch. Go on then, 589 00:40:54,450 --> 00:40:58,129 all out. Get it off your puffed up macho chest. What's really on your mind? I 590 00:40:58,130 --> 00:40:59,570 really want to sleep with you. 591 00:41:01,110 --> 00:41:04,590 I really want to sleep with you. 592 00:41:06,161 --> 00:41:08,249 Oh, what the hell. 593 00:41:08,250 --> 00:41:09,750 I really want to sleep with you. 594 00:41:13,870 --> 00:41:14,950 That's useful to know. 595 00:41:23,110 --> 00:41:27,130 What are you doing? 596 00:41:28,510 --> 00:41:32,309 This isn't a cry for help. Forget it. I'm way beyond help. I just had a big 597 00:41:32,310 --> 00:41:35,729 fight with Jenny and I said something I shouldn't have. And it's your fault 598 00:41:35,730 --> 00:41:38,109 because you put the idea in my head in the first place. 599 00:41:38,110 --> 00:41:39,250 What did you say to him? 600 00:41:39,870 --> 00:41:40,920 What do you think? 601 00:41:41,330 --> 00:41:42,380 You didn't. 602 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:47,059 Simon, you never usually take any notice of anything I say. What's the matter 603 00:41:47,060 --> 00:41:48,800 with you? I don't know. I'm confused. 604 00:41:48,801 --> 00:41:50,459 About Jenny? 605 00:41:50,460 --> 00:41:51,620 No, about everything. 606 00:41:51,940 --> 00:41:54,530 Do you think I'm having a midlife crisis? You're 27. 607 00:41:54,700 --> 00:41:56,560 Yeah, but I might only live till I'm 54. 608 00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:00,050 Look, the truth is, you've had a birthday and you're a bit wobbly. 609 00:42:02,860 --> 00:42:04,600 You're looking at your life. You're... 610 00:42:04,601 --> 00:42:07,029 Living with your dad, you're doing a job you don't know whether you want to do, 611 00:42:07,030 --> 00:42:08,549 and your emotional life's a disaster. 612 00:42:08,550 --> 00:42:10,549 When you put it like that, I don't know what I'm worried about. 613 00:42:10,550 --> 00:42:14,369 You're running about from crisis to crisis without ever thinking, how can I 614 00:42:14,370 --> 00:42:16,230 something about the bigger picture? 615 00:42:17,150 --> 00:42:18,290 So what do you suggest? 616 00:42:18,291 --> 00:42:22,229 Well, if you're really fed up living with your dad, you could start looking 617 00:42:22,230 --> 00:42:24,340 a flat. Well, I suspect it rather suits you. 618 00:42:24,370 --> 00:42:25,420 Your job? 619 00:42:25,421 --> 00:42:28,929 Well, you're probably better off when you don't listen to me and just get on 620 00:42:28,930 --> 00:42:31,100 with it. But your love life, that's obvious. 621 00:42:33,319 --> 00:42:37,560 You're flitting about from woman to woman, acting like a complete dickhead. 622 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,360 But where do you end up every night? 623 00:42:41,260 --> 00:42:42,310 Think about it. 624 00:42:51,781 --> 00:42:54,959 Don't worry, we weren't smoking. 625 00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:56,640 We just nipped him for a quick shag. 626 00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,130 Oh, my God. 627 00:43:15,140 --> 00:43:17,060 I've never seen you in daylight before. 628 00:43:17,180 --> 00:43:18,800 I've never seen you sober before. 629 00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,700 I mean, I've never been sober when I've seen you before. 630 00:43:24,580 --> 00:43:25,630 So what do you want? 631 00:43:27,240 --> 00:43:32,199 Well, I wanted to come round once more just to show you that I can be normal 632 00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,499 that I'm not only interested in coming round when I've got nowhere else to stay 633 00:43:35,500 --> 00:43:37,659 and that I'm not worried about you being a policewoman. 634 00:43:37,660 --> 00:43:39,520 Officer. Officer. And I know you're not. 635 00:43:39,521 --> 00:43:43,759 interested in having a relationship, but neither am I, so I was just thinking 636 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:47,960 maybe we could both not have a relationship with each other. 637 00:43:49,940 --> 00:43:50,990 Together. 638 00:43:52,580 --> 00:43:54,180 I think I prefer you pissed. 639 00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:55,930 It can be arranged. 640 00:43:56,111 --> 00:44:01,059 So do you want to come in? Only if you really want me to. 641 00:44:01,060 --> 00:44:04,419 I just said, didn't I? Man, I won't be making a nuisance. Oh, shut up now 642 00:44:04,420 --> 00:44:05,470 I change my mind. 643 00:44:29,049 --> 00:44:31,830 Yes. I'm on night flow, so I'll see you in the morning. 644 00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:07,460 Simon, it's me. 645 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,630 I'm running late, and if you're still there, you're running late. 646 00:45:12,740 --> 00:45:15,340 Oh, and stop packing around my stuff. 647 00:45:21,060 --> 00:45:22,620 So, tell her about the sheet. 648 00:45:22,621 --> 00:45:24,539 Sorry, I'm not with you, mate. 649 00:45:24,540 --> 00:45:28,219 Your fight with Jenny, everyone's talking about it. I heard you told her 650 00:45:28,220 --> 00:45:29,059 fuck herself. 651 00:45:29,060 --> 00:45:32,550 No, I just told her what I really think of her. Buttocks and everything. 652 00:45:32,810 --> 00:45:36,409 I simply said she had to sort herself out. She can't go on like a teaching 653 00:45:36,410 --> 00:45:37,460 machine. 654 00:45:37,810 --> 00:45:38,860 How'd she take it? 655 00:45:38,930 --> 00:45:42,990 In the spirit it was intended. So that's it. Over and done with. Air clear. 656 00:45:47,230 --> 00:45:49,210 You, you and you. 657 00:45:49,630 --> 00:45:50,680 Turn them over. 658 00:45:51,970 --> 00:45:53,020 Stupid. 659 00:45:56,670 --> 00:45:59,170 Plus. David Maggs will see me after lunch. 660 00:46:02,790 --> 00:46:04,850 Lost on penalties in the semi -final. 661 00:46:04,851 --> 00:46:08,949 I'm sure if you look hard enough, you'll find someone around here who gives a 662 00:46:08,950 --> 00:46:10,000 shit. 663 00:46:11,450 --> 00:46:12,710 Janie Collins missed one. 664 00:46:13,690 --> 00:46:14,950 Janie? Who had anorexia? 665 00:46:15,390 --> 00:46:16,670 Stupid fat fuck. 666 00:46:17,450 --> 00:46:19,920 You came all the way out here just to tell us that? 667 00:46:20,390 --> 00:46:21,440 No. 668 00:46:21,870 --> 00:46:22,920 Boss wants to see you. 669 00:46:23,850 --> 00:46:24,900 Urgent. 670 00:46:31,681 --> 00:46:34,019 You might as well tell me. 671 00:46:34,020 --> 00:46:35,500 I'll find out later anyway. 672 00:46:47,180 --> 00:46:50,160 Whatever it is, she's fucking furious. 673 00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,520 I'm not worried. There's nothing wrong. 674 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,120 I can relate to the students directly. 675 00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:02,770 I have a talent for it. 676 00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:08,519 I can understand how they think and how they feel and how their imaginations 677 00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:09,570 work. 678 00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:10,730 I like it. 679 00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:12,600 And they like it. 680 00:47:12,601 --> 00:47:17,319 Maybe it's because I'm closer to them than I ever could be to either of you 681 00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,270 your conservative little lives, but I'm doing this my way. 682 00:47:21,460 --> 00:47:25,920 And if you don't like it, you know what you can do about it. 683 00:47:29,770 --> 00:47:32,600 Have neither of you got anything to say for yourselves? 684 00:47:32,601 --> 00:47:37,709 I don't know what's going on between you two, but I do know that whatever it is, 685 00:47:37,710 --> 00:47:40,610 outbursts like that should never happen in public. 686 00:47:40,611 --> 00:47:47,849 There's obviously a personal dimension to this, which is now spilling into your 687 00:47:47,850 --> 00:47:49,530 work, and that makes it my concern. 688 00:47:52,230 --> 00:47:55,850 Has anything happened that could affect your working relationship? 689 00:48:00,390 --> 00:48:02,970 Well, I... Nothing of any significance. 690 00:48:04,470 --> 00:48:09,930 This doesn't have anything to do with that sheep incident, does it? 691 00:48:11,270 --> 00:48:13,170 We disagree on teaching methods. 692 00:48:14,250 --> 00:48:17,050 Well, your record is consistently good, Jenny. 693 00:48:18,750 --> 00:48:22,890 And yours, Simon, is, well, consistent. 694 00:48:24,610 --> 00:48:27,010 So, what's the problem? 695 00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,650 His methods are obstructive to my classes. 696 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,470 I think we should do more stuff that's interesting. 697 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:37,960 You're paid to teach the syllabus to the best of your ability, Simon. 698 00:48:37,961 --> 00:48:43,239 I want to use your energy, I really do, but I don't think you're in a position 699 00:48:43,240 --> 00:48:46,400 to do anything except get on with it. 700 00:48:46,401 --> 00:48:53,019 And next time you feel the need to brawl in public, perhaps you could do it in 701 00:48:53,020 --> 00:48:54,070 your own time. 702 00:48:55,220 --> 00:48:56,270 Both of you. 703 00:48:59,820 --> 00:49:00,870 Thank you. 704 00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:05,400 Thank you. 705 00:49:28,650 --> 00:49:29,910 But I don't really mean it. 706 00:49:29,911 --> 00:49:31,279 You to the moment. 707 00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:35,830 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 55737

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