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1
00:00:06,260 --> 00:00:10,380
Okay, I've got one. What if you could
swap your head onto someone else's body?
2
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,380
How about my head onto Jenny's body?
3
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,580
Genius. Would you let me have a go?
4
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:17,480
From behind, obviously.
5
00:00:17,481 --> 00:00:18,919
Fuck off.
6
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:20,719
Well, at least let me have a look at
your ass.
7
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:24,030
If anybody gets a look at your ass, it
should be me. It's my birthday.
8
00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:26,550
I thought we weren't mentioning your
birthday.
9
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:27,850
Give that here.
10
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,660
You can't do that. That's symbolic. Look
what it says.
11
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,000
Young person's rail car. It's no use to
you anymore.
12
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,020
You could still pass for 26.
13
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:40,680
In a low light.
14
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,360
All downhill from now on.
15
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,300
You want to find yourself someone.
16
00:00:44,301 --> 00:00:46,429
Why are you both still in working order?
17
00:00:46,430 --> 00:00:49,870
I got up with a girl last night. Name?
Maggie. What did she do?
18
00:00:50,190 --> 00:00:51,240
Why not?
19
00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:53,849
Because it doesn't matter. You can't
judge someone on what they do.
20
00:00:53,850 --> 00:00:54,889
Can't some people?
21
00:00:54,890 --> 00:00:57,909
She's funny and sexy and I really like
her. Have you tagged her yet?
22
00:00:57,910 --> 00:01:00,270
Might have. Seen her again? Might do.
Nice one.
23
00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:02,240
Okay.
24
00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:07,010
Maggie's head on Jenny's body. Or
Jenny's head on Maggie's body. Oh, God.
25
00:01:07,011 --> 00:01:09,229
Maggie's head on Jenny's body.
Definitely.
26
00:01:09,230 --> 00:01:12,279
Not that there's anything wrong with
Maggie's body. It's just...
27
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,639
I couldn't cope with Jenny bossing me
about all the time.
28
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:15,690
All right, children.
29
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,560
Where are we going next?
30
00:01:17,980 --> 00:01:20,690
It's my birthday, so you all have to do
whatever I want.
31
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,880
Fucking someone so small, that's such a
big arse.
32
00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:55,040
Quite nice actually.
33
00:01:55,350 --> 00:01:56,430
Never noticed before.
34
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,800
Fuck off!
35
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,070
Hold on a second, I wanna see the
banana.
36
00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:54,480
Hey, like you weren't in bed were you?
37
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:56,570
I got you a present.
38
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:04,260
Who made that?
39
00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:42,530
Are you a stripper, Bram?
40
00:03:43,370 --> 00:03:44,420
I'm a police officer.
41
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,810
I'm late. I've got to go.
42
00:04:20,519 --> 00:04:21,899
I want to be like you.
43
00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:25,200
Doing all the things you do.
44
00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:31,479
You're tearing me apart with the clothes
you wear and you like the bed. Oh no, I
45
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,180
can't take you anywhere.
46
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,460
I want to be like you.
47
00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:39,100
I'll treat you like you want me to.
48
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:44,840
Then maybe we could do the things that
we would like to do.
49
00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:42,610
Missed the weekly meeting.
50
00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:45,300
What's going on?
51
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:48,489
One of the little shits broke in. They
don't seem to have taken anything.
52
00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:51,080
Except another lump out of Jenny's sense
of humour.
53
00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:56,300
Fuck.
54
00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,870
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck.
55
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:00,360
Morning, Bob.
56
00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:04,750
You got rabies from the cheap bike?
57
00:06:04,751 --> 00:06:06,769
Ah, you want to watch that, mate?
58
00:06:06,770 --> 00:06:08,750
They could use it for forensic evidence.
59
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,050
Will you two shut up?
60
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,920
You really do look like shit.
61
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,060
I'll be fine after you make me a coffee.
62
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:16,600
I'll have one while you rush it.
63
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,730
See you, please.
64
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,480
Of course. I have tips. I'm better
qualified.
65
00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:22,460
You haven't got time anyway.
66
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:23,910
I drink it in class.
67
00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:25,990
Two sugars.
68
00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:31,200
Isn't it a coincidence that Angie's off
sick every time she has 8F?
69
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,420
Never had the pleasure.
70
00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:36,290
This is shit, but they're quite
entertaining.
71
00:06:44,359 --> 00:06:45,409
Jenny!
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00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:59,240
Have a good weekend.
73
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,350
Only because the promise of this
stimulating exchange got me through it.
74
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,490
No need to ask what you were up to last
night.
75
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:14,420
Oh, fuck, she knows.
76
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,090
Well, if she doesn't, you just stink of
booze.
77
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,040
Look at the buttocks on that one.
78
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,480
Ah, no, no, no.
79
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,240
No. I'm sorry.
80
00:07:26,241 --> 00:07:27,939
Are you going to tell her, or shall I?
81
00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:28,859
Tell me what?
82
00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:30,480
School's a no -smoking building.
83
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,410
Claire's new rule.
84
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,050
Great fun, a long one.
85
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:48,620
No one ever told me smoking is not big
and it's not urban. Yes, it is.
86
00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:50,640
And what about a smoking room?
87
00:07:50,641 --> 00:07:52,359
Should we name it, I suppose?
88
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,410
Just call it Room.
89
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,350
Susan?
90
00:07:58,220 --> 00:07:59,270
Susan,
91
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,480
would you mind taking 8F? Andy's sick
again.
92
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,440
They're quite entertaining.
93
00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:11,990
A bunch of retards.
94
00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:14,080
Good luck, Susan.
95
00:08:14,430 --> 00:08:15,480
Good luck, Susan.
96
00:08:39,131 --> 00:08:44,199
about it at all. Thanks, darling. Leave
that till break.
97
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:48,740
Party on Friday, film on Saturday,
birthday yesterday.
98
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:53,260
Happy birthday, sir. Thank you very
much. Anybody not here?
99
00:08:53,261 --> 00:08:58,239
So have you managed to mark our English
this weekend, sir? I just told you, it's
100
00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:58,959
my birthday.
101
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,010
How old?
102
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:01,500
None of your business.
103
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:06,540
Come on, somebody cheer me up. Well, my
mum said she'd give you one. Look,
104
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:10,549
that's very generous, but I've never
even laid eyes on it. Yeah, you have.
105
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,810
whistled at you on Friday.
106
00:09:12,350 --> 00:09:13,400
Your mother?
107
00:09:13,401 --> 00:09:15,329
And she's single if you're interested.
108
00:09:15,330 --> 00:09:16,209
That was your mother?
109
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:18,129
Yeah, how come you're not married,
Simon?
110
00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:19,250
I'm way too young.
111
00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:23,490
Come on, Jeremy.
112
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:54,720
always got Valium, if you're desperate.
113
00:09:54,721 --> 00:09:58,579
And my year 12's going to get you some
smack, if you threaten them with
114
00:09:58,580 --> 00:10:00,750
suspension. Cigarettes are due, thank
you.
115
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,630
But you'd have to inject it, because
smoking, banned.
116
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:06,040
I fancy Pauline Young's mother.
117
00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:09,719
That's the world, Anne. I started
fancying the kids' mothers.
118
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,319
Don't worry about it. Another ten years
of teaching, you'll go back to looking
119
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,370
at the girls.
120
00:10:13,371 --> 00:10:16,219
Why do I always fancy the most
inappropriate people?
121
00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:18,930
I thought you'd just met some girl you
liked. No, no, no.
122
00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:20,020
Decided not to bother.
123
00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:24,779
She's got two arms and two legs, hasn't
she? Yeah, but I just don't think I'm
124
00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:28,540
ready for a girlfriend. I want to keep
my options open for a bit.
125
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:29,910
What options?
126
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,700
Oh, yeah, I forgot. They're queuing
around the block. I meet women.
127
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,360
Women who fancy me.
128
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,620
Sometimes. Of course you do.
129
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,280
Simon, a friend here wants you.
130
00:10:41,820 --> 00:10:43,080
Does no one else want him?
131
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,590
If it's another suicide attempt, tell
him they must try harder.
132
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,090
Outside, now.
133
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:52,970
I don't even smoke.
134
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,290
Fucking hell!
135
00:10:56,380 --> 00:10:57,430
I didn't do anything.
136
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,720
Debbie. What the fuck did you do to him?
What was his idea?
137
00:11:02,721 --> 00:11:03,699
What was?
138
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:04,750
The tattoo.
139
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,440
Daniel? He wanted us to do Daniela.
140
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:10,610
Daniela Parkhurst?
141
00:11:10,611 --> 00:11:13,459
Couldn't you have just done her initials
like anyone else? We were doing all
142
00:11:13,460 --> 00:11:14,720
right until we got to the L.
143
00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:19,380
I mean, we had to dig around a bit, but
then the blood just... And Teddy just...
144
00:11:20,271 --> 00:11:23,169
I'm going to have to tell Paige.
145
00:11:23,170 --> 00:11:24,550
Don't, Simon. Please.
146
00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:09,970
The point is you can't help who you
fancy.
147
00:12:09,971 --> 00:12:14,119
The most unlikely person can pop up, and
before you know it, you're thinking
148
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,280
about them all the time.
149
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:19,799
Same with Romeo and Juliet. They were
compelled to love each other, even
150
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,180
everybody said it was wrong.
151
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,860
But you can't choose who you fall in
love with.
152
00:12:23,861 --> 00:12:25,979
They didn't need to kill themselves over
it.
153
00:12:25,980 --> 00:12:28,510
The only thing they ever wanted was to
be together.
154
00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:33,560
They passionately believed in what they
had. This was their ultimate dream.
155
00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:35,340
They would have got over it.
156
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:37,520
They wanted to do things their own way.
157
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,560
But the more they were forbidden...
158
00:12:39,770 --> 00:12:41,510
The more they wanted to fight for it.
159
00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:44,290
Have you never felt the urge to rebel?
160
00:12:45,430 --> 00:12:47,690
This page's class are just reading the
text.
161
00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:51,990
There's plenty of time for that. I'm
only saying that... All right, all
162
00:12:51,991 --> 00:12:55,749
There must be something you've always
wanted. Something you've dreamed of with
163
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:59,429
passion that nobody could ever take away
from you. Something you'd sacrifice
164
00:12:59,430 --> 00:13:00,530
everything for.
165
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:05,910
I would quite like to play for Bristol
City. You are one very sad individual.
166
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,540
How about owning Man United?
167
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,110
Yeah, all right.
168
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:14,180
I'd quite like to have sex with Ryan
Giggs, please. That's more like it.
169
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,610
And I'll try and hold on to first -team
things you ask so nicely.
170
00:13:21,940 --> 00:13:25,670
Can I interest anyone in the Australian
women's beach volleyball squad?
171
00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:38,430
I need to be headmaster.
172
00:13:39,790 --> 00:13:42,710
In fact, I want to be you, Simon.
173
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:49,069
You are the best teacher ever, much more
than that frigid teaching machine next
174
00:13:49,070 --> 00:13:51,890
door. I do, she has got a nice arm.
175
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:09,510
easy to concentrate.
176
00:14:18,420 --> 00:14:20,830
Don't worry Simon, she talks to us like
that too.
177
00:14:30,231 --> 00:14:36,579
You could undermine me a little bit more
in front of the class, only I don't
178
00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:37,780
feel enough of a twat yet.
179
00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:38,910
Grow up, Simon.
180
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:42,279
Oh, and if by any chance you happen to
know where Shakespeare's head is, I'd
181
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,319
like it back, please.
182
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,760
There's not too much trouble.
183
00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:47,620
She definitely knows.
184
00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:48,910
Who knows what?
185
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,010
Jenny.
186
00:14:50,011 --> 00:14:53,479
She knows it was us. Well, me, and she's
power -mad and she hates me, and now
187
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,860
she's going to get me sacked.
188
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:58,210
What we did with Childish, it was hardly
a thackable offence.
189
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:04,079
Look, if you like, I'm going to
apologise to her for all of this. Oh,
190
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,979
then she really will know it was me and
she'll hold it over me for the rest of
191
00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:07,599
my life.
192
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:08,800
You know what she's like.
193
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,820
What is your obsession with Ginny?
194
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,650
I'm not obsessed. She's obsessed with
me.
195
00:15:14,460 --> 00:15:15,510
There's a tub.
196
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,560
Can somebody call for me?
197
00:15:17,561 --> 00:15:20,859
I've got a client coming round who wants
to impress. They'll get a cooked dinner
198
00:15:20,860 --> 00:15:21,679
for him.
199
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,180
And that's going to win a crown.
200
00:15:23,860 --> 00:15:24,910
I'll give you one.
201
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,600
I'm just wondering why Teddy Randall
left school early.
202
00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:32,840
I think he said he had an urgent
orthodontal appointment.
203
00:15:34,310 --> 00:15:36,130
Make sure Liz gets his slip.
204
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:41,070
Why do you have to lie all the time?
205
00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:48,729
I'm sorry to interrupt, but... Don't
either. I wish you had to be known she's
206
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:52,370
moving your directive time to end of
every Friday from now on.
207
00:15:53,810 --> 00:15:55,110
I'm only the messenger.
208
00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:57,360
I've got kids.
209
00:15:57,361 --> 00:15:59,059
I mean, you fancy her.
210
00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:00,110
You're so quick.
211
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,210
Oh, no way, not now.
212
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,370
You have to, come on.
213
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,610
Jenny!
214
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:07,730
Simon wants you.
215
00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:12,760
We're all going to the pub. Do you fancy
one?
216
00:16:12,761 --> 00:16:16,599
That would be lovely, but right now I'd
rather nail my own head to the table.
217
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,650
Fair enough.
218
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,060
Two metres, unobstructed view.
219
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:24,650
Tremendous.
220
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:25,870
Well played.
221
00:16:28,839 --> 00:16:31,699
Jenny? I guess
222
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:49,859
I'm
223
00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:52,200
alright. Guess I'm alright.
224
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,360
I guess I'm doing fine.
225
00:16:58,010 --> 00:16:59,570
Yes, I'm doing fine.
226
00:17:02,390 --> 00:17:04,470
Do you think I miss you?
227
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:07,530
Do you think I care?
228
00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:12,609
Do you think I'm laid down to die?
229
00:17:14,609 --> 00:17:16,310
You've never even tried.
230
00:17:16,311 --> 00:17:20,108
Where the fuck have you been? You were
supposed to be here hours ago.
231
00:17:20,109 --> 00:17:21,849
Union meeting. Yeah, in the pub.
232
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:23,550
Come here now, all right?
233
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,770
Just as well by the looks of it.
234
00:17:25,771 --> 00:17:29,919
You are the most unreliable,
untrustworthy little shit. Fine!
235
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,840
You obviously don't need my help there.
236
00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,110
Bye, fella.
237
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:39,930
Bye. Bye.
238
00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:55,180
It's really nice to get to meet you at
last.
239
00:18:57,990 --> 00:18:59,510
Yeah, yeah, you too.
240
00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:01,750
I'm sure it won't be the last time.
241
00:19:02,090 --> 00:19:03,140
Great.
242
00:19:06,810 --> 00:19:10,130
Great. How about next weekend, maybe?
243
00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:17,469
If you're busy, or maybe not. The
weekend after would be... Can you
244
00:19:17,470 --> 00:19:20,840
find it? I think this might be a good
time to mention the other thing.
245
00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:25,019
Right. The thing. I told you, the
brandy's under the stairs with the rest
246
00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:26,300
booze. What?
247
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,070
Yes, I know. It's just that we're
getting married.
248
00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:31,110
What? Who?
249
00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:32,830
Marcella and me.
250
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,440
I and Marcella.
251
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,810
Marcella and I.
252
00:20:29,550 --> 00:20:30,600
Surprise.
253
00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:33,410
Not really.
254
00:20:33,890 --> 00:20:37,030
Um, are you entirely not Colonel?
255
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:39,250
I just felt some nipples.
256
00:21:01,230 --> 00:21:02,280
Go for it.
257
00:21:37,770 --> 00:21:38,970
So, how's your sofa?
258
00:21:39,490 --> 00:21:40,540
Short and hard.
259
00:21:41,030 --> 00:21:42,080
What, especially?
260
00:21:48,130 --> 00:21:51,070
Right, well, I'm going to work.
261
00:21:51,430 --> 00:21:52,480
See you again, maybe.
262
00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:04,830
Doesn't surprise me at all.
263
00:22:05,090 --> 00:22:06,610
He's an attractive man.
264
00:22:06,611 --> 00:22:08,049
You're ridiculous.
265
00:22:08,050 --> 00:22:09,089
He's my dad.
266
00:22:09,090 --> 00:22:10,870
So he's not allowed a libido?
267
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:13,760
No one I have to listen to now. And it's
not the point.
268
00:22:13,890 --> 00:22:15,510
I made a pact with my new mother.
269
00:22:16,390 --> 00:22:17,950
You're in need of us now, are we?
270
00:22:19,070 --> 00:22:23,250
So you're jealous of him? No, I'm not.
I'm only being friendly.
271
00:22:23,730 --> 00:22:25,750
Sounds like a classic case of denial.
272
00:22:26,530 --> 00:22:27,580
Bollocks, is it?
273
00:22:27,581 --> 00:22:30,449
Tell me now, you're a little one. He
doesn't have to marry her.
274
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:34,229
So it's your commitment phobia we're
dealing with. You're projecting your own
275
00:22:34,230 --> 00:22:35,310
fears onto your dad.
276
00:22:36,270 --> 00:22:37,350
It's not our conflict.
277
00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:41,680
She's making a big mistake. She's too
young for it. They're not too old for
278
00:22:41,910 --> 00:22:46,249
Where your older woman fetish has come
from? I do not have a thing about older
279
00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,330
women. Well, it's one of three things.
280
00:22:48,770 --> 00:22:50,890
One, you're jealous of your dad.
281
00:22:51,410 --> 00:22:55,589
Two, you're having trouble coming to
terms with the fact that you fancy older
282
00:22:55,590 --> 00:23:01,229
women. Or three, and probably most
likely, you're disturbed by the fact
283
00:23:01,230 --> 00:23:03,110
no longer see these women as older.
284
00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:08,500
which means you see yourself at a
similar age to them, and that frightens
285
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,400
It makes you act like a teenager.
286
00:23:12,060 --> 00:23:15,240
You're a teacher, not a therapist. They
teach psychology.
287
00:23:15,980 --> 00:23:17,320
16 -year -olds?
288
00:23:18,340 --> 00:23:19,390
Oh, God.
289
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:23,899
That's today's time. I can't wait any
longer. Yes, I've done them. I'll bring
290
00:23:23,900 --> 00:23:24,699
them to you later.
291
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:28,659
Oh, God. I need your department
averages, Paul. Yes, I've done them.
292
00:23:28,660 --> 00:23:29,920
them to you later. Good man.
293
00:23:35,649 --> 00:23:38,119
Teddy Randall's mother's just been on
the phone.
294
00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:42,909
It seems he tried tattooing himself at
break time yesterday and ended up in
295
00:23:42,910 --> 00:23:46,809
casualty with a septic arm. I'm sure all
this could have been avoided had he
296
00:23:46,810 --> 00:23:49,230
been given proper medical attention in
school.
297
00:23:49,231 --> 00:23:55,329
It's not in anyone's interest for
parents to think we can't control our
298
00:23:55,330 --> 00:24:00,129
students, so in future any accidents
should be reported immediately to the
299
00:24:00,130 --> 00:24:01,159
ahead.
300
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:05,860
The upshot of all this is I want to ban
tattooing and to insist that all nose,
301
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,340
eyebrow, lip and tongue rings are
removed in school.
302
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:12,100
Soon as possible, please.
303
00:24:16,420 --> 00:24:19,760
You covered for a kid who carved up his
own arm.
304
00:24:19,761 --> 00:24:22,119
There's nothing about it. We all did it
once.
305
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:25,600
I didn't. I did. Well, I pierced my
hair, but I did it myself.
306
00:24:26,591 --> 00:24:29,729
Why didn't you tell me about Teddy?
307
00:24:29,730 --> 00:24:30,629
Why do you think?
308
00:24:30,630 --> 00:24:33,849
He's in my tutor group, he's my
responsibility, and I should have dealt
309
00:24:33,850 --> 00:24:37,009
Me, me, me, me, me. Look, you didn't
want me to tell you, all right?
310
00:24:37,010 --> 00:24:39,909
Oh, well, that's all right, then, as
long as we're doing what the students
311
00:24:39,910 --> 00:24:42,989
I'm not going to stop them expressing
themselves. Next time you feel the need
312
00:24:42,990 --> 00:24:46,290
encourage a child to risk their health,
discuss it with me first.
313
00:24:46,291 --> 00:24:50,429
I may only be acting yearhead, but at
least I could point you in the right
314
00:24:50,430 --> 00:24:51,810
direction for the hospital.
315
00:24:52,810 --> 00:24:55,280
How do you know you're making a dick of
yourself?
316
00:25:16,650 --> 00:25:18,700
Don't look at me like that. It's your
rule.
317
00:25:18,701 --> 00:25:23,109
If I'm being a dickhead, it's because
she makes me behave like a dickhead. She
318
00:25:23,110 --> 00:25:24,370
brings out the worst in me.
319
00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:25,570
You fancy her.
320
00:25:25,890 --> 00:25:28,130
I do not. I couldn't. No way.
321
00:25:28,790 --> 00:25:32,460
It's not just the age thing. It's women
in authority you have a thing about.
322
00:25:32,470 --> 00:25:34,870
Does Claire do it for you as well?
323
00:25:35,190 --> 00:25:36,350
I'm going to be sick.
324
00:25:36,351 --> 00:25:37,689
Well, it makes sense.
325
00:25:37,690 --> 00:25:40,970
Your new mum, Pauline Young's mother,
Jenny.
326
00:25:41,570 --> 00:25:43,890
And I bet Maggie fits in there somehow.
327
00:25:44,350 --> 00:25:45,400
Oh, it works.
328
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,630
You'd be a lot happier if you just admit
that you identify with these people.
329
00:25:49,631 --> 00:25:51,859
Because you've a lot in common with
them.
330
00:25:51,860 --> 00:25:53,040
But I don't want to.
331
00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:54,860
You sound like one of the kids.
332
00:25:54,861 --> 00:25:56,179
That's why they like me.
333
00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:58,710
You're supposed to be a reliable adult
role model.
334
00:25:58,711 --> 00:26:01,719
You're supposed to be nice to me. That's
what you're for.
335
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:06,839
I am being nice to you. In this case,
being nice to you means pointing out
336
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,950
you're behaving like a complete toss
-up.
337
00:26:25,740 --> 00:26:27,910
all policies, so come on, take them all
off.
338
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,580
Take them off.
339
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:37,380
Mean it, Pauline.
340
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,770
Is there any chance of those essays yet,
sir?
341
00:26:43,771 --> 00:26:45,819
What is your big hurry with those
essays?
342
00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:49,959
I'm worried that you're getting left
behind. We should be moving on to the
343
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,999
assignment. Look, I'm not giving them to
you now, all right, because I have a
344
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,260
different plan for today.
345
00:27:01,830 --> 00:27:05,550
Turn to act three, scene six. Tanya,
read the soliloquy.
346
00:27:05,551 --> 00:27:06,509
The what?
347
00:27:06,510 --> 00:27:07,560
Big C.
348
00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:09,720
Oi!
349
00:27:10,190 --> 00:27:11,390
Time of the month, Simon.
350
00:27:11,391 --> 00:27:15,409
This is important. There's always exam
questions on this bit.
351
00:27:15,410 --> 00:27:16,850
Is this all we're going to do?
352
00:27:16,890 --> 00:27:18,890
This is what we're supposed to be doing.
353
00:27:19,590 --> 00:27:20,640
Tanya.
354
00:27:21,410 --> 00:27:22,460
Pauline!
355
00:27:22,690 --> 00:27:23,890
What was all that about?
356
00:27:23,990 --> 00:27:28,449
Where? Here. When? Don't ask me about.
What's going on with you lot? Oh, it's
357
00:27:28,450 --> 00:27:29,500
about that new ball.
358
00:27:29,610 --> 00:27:31,840
Show off that I should tell you. Tell me
what?
359
00:27:31,910 --> 00:27:33,610
Just that I have a pierced nipple.
360
00:27:37,530 --> 00:27:39,030
That's against school policy.
361
00:27:40,170 --> 00:27:42,310
What, are you going to make me take it
out?
362
00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:46,050
No, but just don't go getting any other
things done. Wow.
363
00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:48,030
I'm getting a tattoo done next week.
364
00:27:48,530 --> 00:27:49,610
You want to see where?
365
00:27:53,990 --> 00:27:58,690
What is it?
366
00:27:58,691 --> 00:28:00,919
Should I put the paramedics on standby?
367
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:04,360
No, no, no, no. I just realised it was
lunchtime and I'm very hungry.
368
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:05,610
Are you?
369
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:07,320
And don't let that happen again.
370
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:08,450
What's that?
371
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:10,770
Chewing gum in class. Can you believe
that?
372
00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:15,519
Barely. I, er, hope you'll be keeping me
behind for a private session again
373
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,160
tomorrow, Simon.
374
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,919
She doesn't mean... Wouldn't dream of,
well, not in school or anywhere. Don't
375
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,859
worry. I don't believe for a... Second,
there's the slightest possibility of
376
00:28:26,860 --> 00:28:29,690
anyone, let alone a student, succumbing
to your charms.
377
00:28:38,111 --> 00:28:40,139
Oh, God.
378
00:28:40,140 --> 00:28:41,320
You said today, Simon.
379
00:28:41,321 --> 00:28:44,139
I'm sorry, Bob. I've done them, but I
left them at home. In the morning, I
380
00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:47,440
promise. Totally life was a little less
predictable, eh?
381
00:28:51,940 --> 00:28:52,990
You left them?
382
00:28:53,220 --> 00:28:54,270
No, they are at home.
383
00:28:54,271 --> 00:28:55,849
Oh, God, that would be great.
384
00:28:55,850 --> 00:29:00,149
That bit, yeah. They only want to list
the numbers. Why don't you just make
385
00:29:00,150 --> 00:29:01,710
up? No, I want to do it right.
386
00:29:03,030 --> 00:29:04,080
Weird.
387
00:29:04,150 --> 00:29:05,230
This is all your fault.
388
00:29:05,231 --> 00:29:06,489
What now?
389
00:29:06,490 --> 00:29:09,629
You practice your cod psychology on me
and the next thing I know I'm teaching
390
00:29:09,630 --> 00:29:12,849
the book. The kids all hate me and
they're not taking a blind bit of notice
391
00:29:12,850 --> 00:29:13,709
anything I say.
392
00:29:13,710 --> 00:29:14,970
Welcome to my world.
393
00:29:14,971 --> 00:29:16,629
It's stick and carrot, mate.
394
00:29:16,630 --> 00:29:20,389
Shut up for half a lesson. Look at
Celebrity Arthur's website. The other
395
00:29:20,390 --> 00:29:21,810
lesson. That kind of thing.
396
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:23,960
That's really useful, thanks.
397
00:29:24,220 --> 00:29:27,470
It's all about showing them who's in
charge. You're the grown -up.
398
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,320
All right, you're the one with the
degree.
399
00:29:30,321 --> 00:29:34,459
Once they realise you're not going to
take any shit from them, they'll respect
400
00:29:34,460 --> 00:29:35,510
you for it.
401
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,770
Kids need to know where the boundaries
are.
402
00:29:38,871 --> 00:29:40,859
You're right.
403
00:29:40,860 --> 00:29:42,880
You're taking advice from a PE teacher.
404
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,400
Well, Liz has a certain maturity.
405
00:29:59,660 --> 00:30:03,940
But Carol, I have to say, does have an
appealing wildness about the eye.
406
00:30:05,100 --> 00:30:08,760
More glad tidings to impart from the
offices of Mrs. Hunter.
407
00:30:09,420 --> 00:30:14,059
As from today, teachers are no longer
allowed to smoke anywhere on school
408
00:30:14,060 --> 00:30:15,110
premises.
409
00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:19,860
Don't want to give our students
confusing signals, do we, Susan?
410
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,580
Pauline. Pauline! I need a word.
411
00:30:33,581 --> 00:30:34,739
Yeah, what?
412
00:30:34,740 --> 00:30:35,790
In private.
413
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:40,650
Come on.
414
00:30:42,420 --> 00:30:45,500
Stand there.
415
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,120
You were well out of order earlier.
416
00:30:50,460 --> 00:30:51,510
What did I do?
417
00:30:51,540 --> 00:30:54,970
Talking to me like that in front of Miss
Page and that skirt business.
418
00:30:54,971 --> 00:30:58,959
So why did you cover for me? Because
you've got us both in the shit and
419
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,299
far too young to get a tattoo. That is
none of your business. It is now because
420
00:31:02,300 --> 00:31:04,799
you told me about it. I'm trying to stop
you making a mistake.
421
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,450
Yeah, well, I'm really going to take
advice from you.
422
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:10,120
I could send you to see Mrs Hunter.
423
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:14,059
Go on, then. Look, I am the adult here.
I'm the one with the degree and I'm
424
00:31:14,060 --> 00:31:15,260
telling you, don't do it.
425
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:17,850
Fuck off.
426
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:26,640
Well, I don't trust anybody who...
smiles as much as Claire does.
427
00:31:26,641 --> 00:31:30,619
I mean, she's very good at giving the
illusion of democracy, but she don't go
428
00:31:30,620 --> 00:31:31,259
all the way.
429
00:31:31,260 --> 00:31:32,310
God, no.
430
00:31:33,140 --> 00:31:35,100
We're not teachers any more.
431
00:31:35,101 --> 00:31:39,399
I prefer it the way it used to be, when
teachers just knew stuff and it had to
432
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:40,450
educate kids.
433
00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:42,740
Now the stuff keeps getting changed.
434
00:31:43,100 --> 00:31:45,000
Nobody knows who knows what any more.
435
00:31:48,380 --> 00:31:51,260
Can we please talk about sex or
football?
436
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,060
Maybe I never had control.
437
00:31:53,061 --> 00:31:56,569
They definitely don't respect me
anymore. Maybe they never did.
438
00:31:56,570 --> 00:31:58,470
Who doesn't respect you now?
439
00:31:59,510 --> 00:32:01,190
Pauline O 'Fuckoff -Young.
440
00:32:01,450 --> 00:32:03,930
Okay, Pauline O 'Fuckoff -Young.
441
00:32:04,790 --> 00:32:06,090
Or Nicola Coleman.
442
00:32:06,870 --> 00:32:10,310
Who's Nicola Coleman? Nicola Iclandula
Coleman.
443
00:32:10,770 --> 00:32:12,030
Fat girl, year 12.
444
00:32:13,290 --> 00:32:15,810
I can't do this now. I've got books to
mark.
445
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,040
What was that?
446
00:32:49,180 --> 00:32:51,760
What? What was that?
447
00:32:52,910 --> 00:32:55,260
Well, I suppose this one must seem a bit
sudden.
448
00:32:55,261 --> 00:32:58,229
Well, you haven't been with a woman for
years, and then the first one comes
449
00:32:58,230 --> 00:32:59,490
along. She's not the first.
450
00:32:59,491 --> 00:33:01,749
I don't have to tell you everything.
451
00:33:01,750 --> 00:33:03,250
But you don't tell me anything.
452
00:33:04,390 --> 00:33:08,510
I would... We were concerned that people
might disapprove.
453
00:33:09,390 --> 00:33:11,130
We haven't been together very long.
454
00:33:11,131 --> 00:33:13,169
There are other factors involved.
455
00:33:13,170 --> 00:33:14,250
What are the factors?
456
00:33:16,110 --> 00:33:17,190
Marcella's daughter.
457
00:33:17,930 --> 00:33:18,980
Your new sister.
458
00:33:19,430 --> 00:33:21,130
Perfect. She's four.
459
00:33:21,131 --> 00:33:24,639
So now you're going to have a wife and a
baby? It's called commitment, but I
460
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,299
wouldn't expect you to... Oh, here we
go. If you don't know what to do with
461
00:33:27,300 --> 00:33:29,770
life or who to do it with, that's your
problem. I do.
462
00:33:29,940 --> 00:33:31,920
Sorry. Should I come back later?
463
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:33,530
I'm going now.
464
00:33:45,231 --> 00:33:47,279
Don't shout.
465
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,630
Are you getting anything done for
yesterday?
466
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,090
Do you mind?
467
00:33:53,460 --> 00:33:56,859
This is our place for fun and
recreation. I thought it would be a good
468
00:33:56,860 --> 00:33:58,060
supportive atmosphere.
469
00:33:58,180 --> 00:34:00,830
You've got nowhere else to go, have you?
Do you have?
470
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:02,280
Oh, let me see.
471
00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:05,320
I have a lovely house I share with my
lovely husband.
472
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:07,130
Me too.
473
00:34:08,739 --> 00:34:12,349
Look, can you just talk amongst
yourselves for a bit? I'm trying my best
474
00:34:12,380 --> 00:34:13,430
Did I tell you?
475
00:34:13,780 --> 00:34:14,830
Jenny came to see me.
476
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,820
She was really upset about seeing me.
477
00:34:18,380 --> 00:34:23,050
Yeah. Liz said that, Jenny said that,
Claire said she's positive it's Simon.
478
00:34:23,570 --> 00:34:27,928
But until the forensics come back,
there's still no proof. And Jenny said
479
00:34:27,929 --> 00:34:33,388
part of the reason she was so upset was
that she'd messed up. All right, I give
480
00:34:33,389 --> 00:34:35,439
in. But you've got to help me finish
these.
481
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:36,448
How much?
482
00:34:36,449 --> 00:34:37,499
Half a pint of book.
483
00:34:39,810 --> 00:34:44,969
How can you give that an A?
484
00:34:45,230 --> 00:34:47,700
It's great. It gets right in there in
every debate.
485
00:34:47,701 --> 00:34:50,569
Good as that, if you can't write a
coherent sentence.
486
00:34:50,570 --> 00:34:51,890
I'm teaching them to think.
487
00:34:51,891 --> 00:34:52,769
Not healthy.
488
00:34:52,770 --> 00:34:55,550
Finally, Paulie knows what I've got.
Young, C -.
489
00:34:55,989 --> 00:34:57,039
Beach, make it a D.
490
00:34:57,790 --> 00:35:00,140
Glad to see you haven't lost your
objectivity.
491
00:35:00,970 --> 00:35:04,810
So, this will be the new you, then, will
it? How do you mean?
492
00:35:05,110 --> 00:35:08,030
You know I'm going to grow up, be a good
role model, yeah.
493
00:35:08,290 --> 00:35:10,870
It wasn't working. I'm better the way I
was.
494
00:35:12,110 --> 00:35:13,160
Goodnight.
495
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:23,530
you're going.
496
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:28,250
I don't want to listen to my dad's
shagging. Can I stay with you and pizza?
497
00:35:30,660 --> 00:35:32,380
No. Good night.
498
00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:34,550
Lads?
499
00:36:00,230 --> 00:36:01,280
It's you.
500
00:36:05,741 --> 00:36:11,949
Can't you just keep turning up in the
middle of the night when you haven't got
501
00:36:11,950 --> 00:36:13,000
anywhere else to go?
502
00:36:13,130 --> 00:36:14,180
I don't.
503
00:36:14,490 --> 00:36:17,450
I'm here because I want to be. I wanted
to see you again.
504
00:36:17,690 --> 00:36:18,740
Why?
505
00:36:19,050 --> 00:36:21,890
It's just... Well, I haven't seen you
for a bit.
506
00:36:22,170 --> 00:36:23,220
Cheers.
507
00:36:23,570 --> 00:36:27,410
And I haven't got your phone number, and
I... I like you.
508
00:36:28,390 --> 00:36:29,550
You came out for a shag.
509
00:36:29,790 --> 00:36:31,990
No. Oh, so you came round for a chat?
510
00:36:32,250 --> 00:36:33,300
Yes.
511
00:36:34,650 --> 00:36:35,700
Go on, then.
512
00:36:42,830 --> 00:36:47,430
So, uh... How are the latest crimes to
this day?
513
00:36:47,431 --> 00:36:50,649
Well, obviously, being a police officer,
I wouldn't be interested in anything
514
00:36:50,650 --> 00:36:51,700
else.
515
00:36:51,770 --> 00:36:52,820
At midnight.
516
00:36:52,821 --> 00:36:57,149
Look, Simon, is there a reason why you
only turn up in the middle of the night
517
00:36:57,150 --> 00:36:58,770
when I haven't got my uniform on?
518
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:03,640
I mean, are you on the most wanted list,
or do you have a problem with my job?
519
00:37:03,641 --> 00:37:05,839
No, I haven't got a problem with it.
That's just out of interest.
520
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:06,759
What do you do?
521
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,320
I'm a... I work in a school.
522
00:37:14,460 --> 00:37:15,510
I'm a teacher.
523
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,090
Oh.
524
00:37:17,260 --> 00:37:19,900
You... Well, you... You...
525
00:37:19,901 --> 00:37:23,389
And a kid. All right. What's the
difference between what you do and what
526
00:37:23,390 --> 00:37:26,289
We both walk around telling people what
to do all day, except your people are
527
00:37:26,290 --> 00:37:28,889
smaller. I don't tell people what to do
all day. Well, you do if you're doing it
528
00:37:28,890 --> 00:37:32,129
properly. Well, teaching's not just
about bossing people about.
529
00:37:32,130 --> 00:37:33,009
Oh, bless.
530
00:37:33,010 --> 00:37:34,750
Do you want to sleep on your sofa? No.
531
00:37:34,810 --> 00:37:39,689
Look, Simon, you're really nice, but I'm
not even sure I want a relationship at
532
00:37:39,690 --> 00:37:42,649
the moment, particularly not with
someone whose behaviour gets more
533
00:37:42,650 --> 00:37:44,550
erratic every day. Neither do I. Good.
534
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,380
Yeah, I'd like it or not.
535
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,520
Stop! I'd like it on a chain.
536
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:27,200
Oh, I didn't get it. Surely you didn't
see this. It's just embarrassing.
537
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,200
I dig it, dog.
538
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,800
I love God all the same.
539
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,110
Are you doing Treasure Island this week
or just having a midlife crisis?
540
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:44,240
I fucking hate her. She's such a...
541
00:38:44,540 --> 00:38:48,880
Narrow -minded, conformist little
careerist, and she's so mature.
542
00:38:49,420 --> 00:38:50,470
What an insult.
543
00:38:50,471 --> 00:38:52,979
You know why you get so worked up about
it, don't you?
544
00:38:52,980 --> 00:38:54,030
Not if again.
545
00:38:54,100 --> 00:38:59,380
A well -known psychological principle is
a very thin line between love and hate.
546
00:39:00,620 --> 00:39:01,670
You're sick.
547
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:07,940
It's Shane Ritchie!
548
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,140
My God, is it 1992 already?
549
00:39:14,860 --> 00:39:15,910
You're the only one.
550
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:17,800
I don't give a shit.
551
00:39:18,340 --> 00:39:19,600
Who are these, Simon?
552
00:39:19,820 --> 00:39:20,870
Who do you think?
553
00:39:20,871 --> 00:39:22,839
Well, this isn't your handwriting.
554
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:23,739
Is it a good mark?
555
00:39:23,740 --> 00:39:24,519
A star.
556
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:25,339
B minus.
557
00:39:25,340 --> 00:39:27,600
Well, it'll be a lot less if you don't
shut up.
558
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,930
You get what I said about the tattoo? Do
whatever makes you happy.
559
00:39:31,931 --> 00:39:35,379
Right, there is space. That's tough
against the wall. We're going to need
560
00:39:35,380 --> 00:39:36,430
room to do this.
561
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,520
Who wants to be Romeo?
562
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,670
Anybody who wants to be bored shitless
can go next door and see Miss Payne.
563
00:39:49,781 --> 00:39:51,869
Nice chance.
564
00:39:51,870 --> 00:39:53,730
You're not going to believe this, Bob.
565
00:39:54,050 --> 00:39:55,250
All present and correct.
566
00:39:56,470 --> 00:39:59,000
Yeah, but very late. Look at them now,
aren't they?
567
00:39:59,001 --> 00:40:02,449
Why is everything a battle with you? I
don't know if you've known this, but
568
00:40:02,450 --> 00:40:03,500
hell. Well,
569
00:40:03,501 --> 00:40:07,009
Heather, you think my classes are
boring.
570
00:40:07,010 --> 00:40:08,090
I never said anything.
571
00:40:08,091 --> 00:40:09,669
Did I?
572
00:40:09,670 --> 00:40:12,689
No, you wouldn't have dreamt of shouting
that out in front of your whole class,
573
00:40:12,690 --> 00:40:15,940
would you? Right, well, that's not
exactly what I said. I was just...
574
00:40:15,941 --> 00:40:19,609
comparing how I do things. Don't you
ever discuss me or any other teacher
575
00:40:19,610 --> 00:40:20,509
your class again.
576
00:40:20,510 --> 00:40:23,309
Well, don't talk to me like I'm one of
your students. I'll talk to you,
577
00:40:23,310 --> 00:40:26,849
I'll please if you're going to call my
professionalism into question.
578
00:40:26,850 --> 00:40:30,169
Not that you're in any position to
comment on anything in that arena.
579
00:40:30,170 --> 00:40:33,389
What's that supposed to mean? It means
that while you're playing at being a
580
00:40:33,390 --> 00:40:36,249
teacher, some of us are trying to do the
job properly. Well, maybe I don't get
581
00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:39,429
turned on ticking boxes and filling out
forms like you do. But let's just try to
582
00:40:39,430 --> 00:40:40,729
teach them in a way they like.
583
00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:42,650
It's not supposed to be entertainment.
584
00:40:42,651 --> 00:40:43,829
I'm not in your class anyway.
585
00:40:43,830 --> 00:40:46,649
Who the fuck do you think you are? I'm
someone who at least has a go at being
586
00:40:46,650 --> 00:40:47,349
their wavelength.
587
00:40:47,350 --> 00:40:49,880
So that's why the pathetic little act of
defiance.
588
00:40:50,210 --> 00:40:54,449
At least I don't seem like a cold,
miserable, uptight bitch. Go on then,
589
00:40:54,450 --> 00:40:58,129
all out. Get it off your puffed up macho
chest. What's really on your mind? I
590
00:40:58,130 --> 00:40:59,570
really want to sleep with you.
591
00:41:01,110 --> 00:41:04,590
I really want to sleep with you.
592
00:41:06,161 --> 00:41:08,249
Oh, what the hell.
593
00:41:08,250 --> 00:41:09,750
I really want to sleep with you.
594
00:41:13,870 --> 00:41:14,950
That's useful to know.
595
00:41:23,110 --> 00:41:27,130
What are you doing?
596
00:41:28,510 --> 00:41:32,309
This isn't a cry for help. Forget it.
I'm way beyond help. I just had a big
597
00:41:32,310 --> 00:41:35,729
fight with Jenny and I said something I
shouldn't have. And it's your fault
598
00:41:35,730 --> 00:41:38,109
because you put the idea in my head in
the first place.
599
00:41:38,110 --> 00:41:39,250
What did you say to him?
600
00:41:39,870 --> 00:41:40,920
What do you think?
601
00:41:41,330 --> 00:41:42,380
You didn't.
602
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:47,059
Simon, you never usually take any notice
of anything I say. What's the matter
603
00:41:47,060 --> 00:41:48,800
with you? I don't know. I'm confused.
604
00:41:48,801 --> 00:41:50,459
About Jenny?
605
00:41:50,460 --> 00:41:51,620
No, about everything.
606
00:41:51,940 --> 00:41:54,530
Do you think I'm having a midlife
crisis? You're 27.
607
00:41:54,700 --> 00:41:56,560
Yeah, but I might only live till I'm 54.
608
00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:00,050
Look, the truth is, you've had a
birthday and you're a bit wobbly.
609
00:42:02,860 --> 00:42:04,600
You're looking at your life. You're...
610
00:42:04,601 --> 00:42:07,029
Living with your dad, you're doing a job
you don't know whether you want to do,
611
00:42:07,030 --> 00:42:08,549
and your emotional life's a disaster.
612
00:42:08,550 --> 00:42:10,549
When you put it like that, I don't know
what I'm worried about.
613
00:42:10,550 --> 00:42:14,369
You're running about from crisis to
crisis without ever thinking, how can I
614
00:42:14,370 --> 00:42:16,230
something about the bigger picture?
615
00:42:17,150 --> 00:42:18,290
So what do you suggest?
616
00:42:18,291 --> 00:42:22,229
Well, if you're really fed up living
with your dad, you could start looking
617
00:42:22,230 --> 00:42:24,340
a flat. Well, I suspect it rather suits
you.
618
00:42:24,370 --> 00:42:25,420
Your job?
619
00:42:25,421 --> 00:42:28,929
Well, you're probably better off when
you don't listen to me and just get on
620
00:42:28,930 --> 00:42:31,100
with it. But your love life, that's
obvious.
621
00:42:33,319 --> 00:42:37,560
You're flitting about from woman to
woman, acting like a complete dickhead.
622
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,360
But where do you end up every night?
623
00:42:41,260 --> 00:42:42,310
Think about it.
624
00:42:51,781 --> 00:42:54,959
Don't worry, we weren't smoking.
625
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:56,640
We just nipped him for a quick shag.
626
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,130
Oh, my God.
627
00:43:15,140 --> 00:43:17,060
I've never seen you in daylight before.
628
00:43:17,180 --> 00:43:18,800
I've never seen you sober before.
629
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,700
I mean, I've never been sober when I've
seen you before.
630
00:43:24,580 --> 00:43:25,630
So what do you want?
631
00:43:27,240 --> 00:43:32,199
Well, I wanted to come round once more
just to show you that I can be normal
632
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,499
that I'm not only interested in coming
round when I've got nowhere else to stay
633
00:43:35,500 --> 00:43:37,659
and that I'm not worried about you being
a policewoman.
634
00:43:37,660 --> 00:43:39,520
Officer. Officer. And I know you're not.
635
00:43:39,521 --> 00:43:43,759
interested in having a relationship, but
neither am I, so I was just thinking
636
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:47,960
maybe we could both not have a
relationship with each other.
637
00:43:49,940 --> 00:43:50,990
Together.
638
00:43:52,580 --> 00:43:54,180
I think I prefer you pissed.
639
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:55,930
It can be arranged.
640
00:43:56,111 --> 00:44:01,059
So do you want to come in? Only if you
really want me to.
641
00:44:01,060 --> 00:44:04,419
I just said, didn't I? Man, I won't be
making a nuisance. Oh, shut up now
642
00:44:04,420 --> 00:44:05,470
I change my mind.
643
00:44:29,049 --> 00:44:31,830
Yes. I'm on night flow, so I'll see you
in the morning.
644
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:07,460
Simon, it's me.
645
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,630
I'm running late, and if you're still
there, you're running late.
646
00:45:12,740 --> 00:45:15,340
Oh, and stop packing around my stuff.
647
00:45:21,060 --> 00:45:22,620
So, tell her about the sheet.
648
00:45:22,621 --> 00:45:24,539
Sorry, I'm not with you, mate.
649
00:45:24,540 --> 00:45:28,219
Your fight with Jenny, everyone's
talking about it. I heard you told her
650
00:45:28,220 --> 00:45:29,059
fuck herself.
651
00:45:29,060 --> 00:45:32,550
No, I just told her what I really think
of her. Buttocks and everything.
652
00:45:32,810 --> 00:45:36,409
I simply said she had to sort herself
out. She can't go on like a teaching
653
00:45:36,410 --> 00:45:37,460
machine.
654
00:45:37,810 --> 00:45:38,860
How'd she take it?
655
00:45:38,930 --> 00:45:42,990
In the spirit it was intended. So that's
it. Over and done with. Air clear.
656
00:45:47,230 --> 00:45:49,210
You, you and you.
657
00:45:49,630 --> 00:45:50,680
Turn them over.
658
00:45:51,970 --> 00:45:53,020
Stupid.
659
00:45:56,670 --> 00:45:59,170
Plus. David Maggs will see me after
lunch.
660
00:46:02,790 --> 00:46:04,850
Lost on penalties in the semi -final.
661
00:46:04,851 --> 00:46:08,949
I'm sure if you look hard enough, you'll
find someone around here who gives a
662
00:46:08,950 --> 00:46:10,000
shit.
663
00:46:11,450 --> 00:46:12,710
Janie Collins missed one.
664
00:46:13,690 --> 00:46:14,950
Janie? Who had anorexia?
665
00:46:15,390 --> 00:46:16,670
Stupid fat fuck.
666
00:46:17,450 --> 00:46:19,920
You came all the way out here just to
tell us that?
667
00:46:20,390 --> 00:46:21,440
No.
668
00:46:21,870 --> 00:46:22,920
Boss wants to see you.
669
00:46:23,850 --> 00:46:24,900
Urgent.
670
00:46:31,681 --> 00:46:34,019
You might as well tell me.
671
00:46:34,020 --> 00:46:35,500
I'll find out later anyway.
672
00:46:47,180 --> 00:46:50,160
Whatever it is, she's fucking furious.
673
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,520
I'm not worried. There's nothing wrong.
674
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,120
I can relate to the students directly.
675
00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:02,770
I have a talent for it.
676
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:08,519
I can understand how they think and how
they feel and how their imaginations
677
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:09,570
work.
678
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:10,730
I like it.
679
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:12,600
And they like it.
680
00:47:12,601 --> 00:47:17,319
Maybe it's because I'm closer to them
than I ever could be to either of you
681
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,270
your conservative little lives, but I'm
doing this my way.
682
00:47:21,460 --> 00:47:25,920
And if you don't like it, you know what
you can do about it.
683
00:47:29,770 --> 00:47:32,600
Have neither of you got anything to say
for yourselves?
684
00:47:32,601 --> 00:47:37,709
I don't know what's going on between you
two, but I do know that whatever it is,
685
00:47:37,710 --> 00:47:40,610
outbursts like that should never happen
in public.
686
00:47:40,611 --> 00:47:47,849
There's obviously a personal dimension
to this, which is now spilling into your
687
00:47:47,850 --> 00:47:49,530
work, and that makes it my concern.
688
00:47:52,230 --> 00:47:55,850
Has anything happened that could affect
your working relationship?
689
00:48:00,390 --> 00:48:02,970
Well, I... Nothing of any significance.
690
00:48:04,470 --> 00:48:09,930
This doesn't have anything to do with
that sheep incident, does it?
691
00:48:11,270 --> 00:48:13,170
We disagree on teaching methods.
692
00:48:14,250 --> 00:48:17,050
Well, your record is consistently good,
Jenny.
693
00:48:18,750 --> 00:48:22,890
And yours, Simon, is, well, consistent.
694
00:48:24,610 --> 00:48:27,010
So, what's the problem?
695
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,650
His methods are obstructive to my
classes.
696
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,470
I think we should do more stuff that's
interesting.
697
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:37,960
You're paid to teach the syllabus to the
best of your ability, Simon.
698
00:48:37,961 --> 00:48:43,239
I want to use your energy, I really do,
but I don't think you're in a position
699
00:48:43,240 --> 00:48:46,400
to do anything except get on with it.
700
00:48:46,401 --> 00:48:53,019
And next time you feel the need to brawl
in public, perhaps you could do it in
701
00:48:53,020 --> 00:48:54,070
your own time.
702
00:48:55,220 --> 00:48:56,270
Both of you.
703
00:48:59,820 --> 00:49:00,870
Thank you.
704
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:05,400
Thank you.
705
00:49:28,650 --> 00:49:29,910
But I don't really mean it.
706
00:49:29,911 --> 00:49:31,279
You to the moment.
707
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:35,830
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