Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons.

Hoping to find we're two of a kind.

Making it go, making it grow.

Together, we're going to find our way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't.

Together, you and I, we're going to find our way.

You and I together, we're going to find our way.

You and I together.

Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Come on, Dad. Don't you want to see what I got you?

Yes, I do. First read the card. All right. I made it myself.

Okay, here's hoping this gift is a dandy.

A hint, it's not flowers or candy.

If you have your white shorts and some time on the court, this present will

come in handy.

Love, Rick. Oh, thank you, son.

Uh -oh, let me guess.

A giant flyswatter.

Dad, come on. A canoe paddle for a midget.

Edward. Okay, okay, okay. All right, all right.

See here.

Hey!

Just what I always wanted, a spaghetti strainer.

Aw, son, this is the greatest.

You want to break it in?

Right now? Sure. I'll go and change.

Okay.

I thought my gift was degraded.

Well, there's greatest, and then there's greatest.

And, baby, you're the greatest.

I'll get it.

Happy birthday, Edward.

Thanks, bud.

What have we here? Let's see.

Brandy. 50 years old.

42. I meant the brandy. Ah.

And it's incredibly expensive, so don't share it with anyone but me.

Ah, thanks, Dex. You didn't have to do this. Now he tells me.

Hi, Dex. Nice gift.

A mere trifle, but I'm dying to see what the president of a major international

toy company buys a husband.

Sneakers. Good Lord.

That's what he asked for. Oh, I didn't want anybody to make a big deal out of

birthday. I suppose I'll feel the same way when I reach your age.

What's the matter with 42?

Nothing. A lot of people your age manage to live youthful and happy lives.

Very funny. I'll have you know my life is just beginning.

Not according to the insurance tables.

They say it's already more than half over.

What a cheery thought.

Oh, that must be Tamara.

Tamara. Oh, the Japanese lessons. How are they coming?

Terrific. Two or three more lessons, and I'll be able to pronounce my teacher's

name.

Hi, I got a package for Edward Stratton. Hey, another chance to break in my

sneakers.

The last time I was in a big house like this, I got a $10 tip.

Oh.

Here's a dollar. We're just house -sitting.

Thanks, Pop.

Pop.

Well, Dad, what'd you get?

It's from Grandfather.

See here.

Hey, hey, hey!

An old newspaper.

What a day for sneakers and now this.

No, no, this is great. This is a newspaper from the day I was born.

Wow, Roosevelt wins by a landslide.

Teddy Roosevelt.

Franklin Roosevelt.

I don't remember Franklin Roosevelt. My grandparents told me all about him.

I'm sorry.

So, Dad, you ready to break in your new racket and your new sneakers?

Ready. Don't run them too hard. You know, the sneaks may be new, but the

are 42.

Yeah, I'll go easy on him. Oh, go easy. Let me remind you of the fact that you

have never, ever, repeat, never, ever beaten me at anything. Tennis,

racquetball, not anything.

Well, there's always a first time.

Pop.

I'll give you pop.

Besides that, you're never going to beat me the way you twist your backhand.

What twist?

Well, when your wrist kind of turns under as you extend your racket there.

Really?

Hey, Dan, look, I know exactly what you're doing. You're trying to slice me

He's quite a kid.

Yeah, so is Rick.

Okay, let's try it again.

Konnichiwa.

Konnichiwu.

Gee

golly, what

a shame.

That's all the time we have for today.

I'll see you next week.

You're doing very well.

Really. Just great.

Fabulous.

You don't have to lie to me, Tamora. I can take the truth.

All right, Mrs. Stratton.

We're in deep thought.

My trip to Japan is less than four weeks away, and Eddie Toys is counting on me

to make a good impression.

Oh, you will, Mrs. Stratton.

Now, just remember,

a young salmon, in a fight to swim upstream, may not go under or over, but

only against the current.

What does that mean?

Oh. I'll let myself out.

Sayonara. Ciao.

Kate, I did it. I did it. I finally did it. What? I just beat Dad at tennis.

Hey, come on, Dad. Tell her how I whooped you.

Edward.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

But your leg.

Oh, it's nothing.

I just take a few pain pills and forget all about it.

Pain pills? What happened?

Honey, it was no big deal, really. I just pulled it a little, going for a

Early on.

But it didn't affect the outcome of the game. Hey, Rick won that practice round

fair and square.

Could you get me something to drink, honey?

Oh, sure. Hey,

Dad, what do you mean, practice round? That was a real match.

Come on, Rick. You were helping me break in my new sneakers and my new racket.

You want to play a real match, you should tell me before we play, not

Well, okay, then. Let's have a real match.

Well, fine.

Well, fine. Tomorrow morning. Rick, tomorrow's a little soon. I mean, give

poor father a chance to catch his breath.

I don't need to catch my breath.

Okay, Dad, when do you want to play? The sooner, the better.

Two weeks.

Hi,

Kate. How's it going?

Oh, okay, I guess.

But I'm having a hard time with this.

How am I supposed to order dinner when I can't even read the menu?

Well, Kate, just remember, Toro's tuna, A .B.'s shrimp, Tori's chicken, and Niku

is meat.

Rick, that's incredible.

When did you learn all that Japanese?

It's written in English in the back of your menu. What?

Hey, Kate, where's Dad?

Oh, he's getting ready to go back to work.

Again?

Dad, you're spending a lot of extra time at work these days. Well, Rick, it's

our busy season. You know, lots of toys and development.

Yeah, but, Dad, I want to practice before our big game tomorrow. Oh, I'm

son. Duty calls.

Dad, this isn't right. You spend every night at the lab drinking coffee and

eating donuts for dinner.

You're not going to be in shape for our game tomorrow. Look, let's put the phone

in a week.

I don't want you to have any excuses.

Hey, buddy, I don't need any excuses. Now, I agreed to the date, and if I'm

ready, it's my fault, okay? We meet tomorrow, and it's for the record books.

Okay, okay, Dad. Just remember, I gave you a chance. How sporting of you.

I'll see you on the court.

See you there.

Honey, I gotta run. See ya.

By the way, you needn't hurry back to work. Your tennis pro just called to say

he'd be late.

Okay, thanks.

Tennis pro?

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Sneaking around, practicing every chance you can get.

Shh, honey, honey, it's not what you think. Sit down.

Let me explain.

See, Rick is going through a very important stage of his life right now.

becoming independent.

Like all teenagers, he has this intrinsic need to bring down the

order, see? And beating me at tennis is all part of that process.

Process? Yeah, fathers and sons have been going through this ritualistic

since the Ice Age.

Oh, I see. You don't want to win for yourself.

You're doing it to help Rick's psychological development.

Exactly.

I'm going to squash him like a bug.

Yuki.

Good. Good.

Excellent.

Really? Yes.

Your boy's got a terrific backhand.

Don't bother me.

Are

you

ready?

I'm ready.

You ready?

I'm ready.

I wasn't ready.

at the business meeting, and now you want to thank your prospective associate

for being so cooperative.

Not quite.

You just asked me to butter your jockey shorts.

Seems like we've been at this forever.

Or longer.

Oh, I have a new idea.

Total immersion therapy.

Here.

Rezoko refrigerator.

Rezoko. Good.

You know, we'll stick this all over the house. That way, whenever you see

something, you also see the Japanese word for it.

Oh. Well, what do I do when I see it?

Oh, nothing. That's the whole point.

You're just going to look.

And absorb it.

Do you think it'll really work?

Hopefully.

Did you

squash

him like a bug?

Oh, did I lose the game, Kate?

I lost my youth.

It's out there somewhere on the tennis court.

I'm an old man.

Oh, gee.

Oh, stop it, Edward. You're just tired, that's all.

You practice. It's too much. Wore yourself out.

I wasn't tired, Kate.

Well, you were tired last night.

I wasn't tired.

I had a headache.

Well, do you have a headache now?

No. Oh, good.

Now I'm tired.

I really am worried about Edward.

Why? Is he stuck to something?

Yes, he's stuck to the idea that he's over the hill.

Last night he asked me if I could love an old man.

Who did he have in mind?

I don't know. He fell asleep before I could find out.

It's all my fault.

I shouldn't have teased him about getting old.

That was very insensitive of me. I feel very guilty.

Oh, it wasn't you.

It was that tennis match. He lost to Rick.

Tennis match?

Then it's Rick's fault, not mine.

I feel better.

Well, I don't.

Ah, it's only a little midlife crisis, that's all.

That's all?

His reaction is mild.

Some men his age try to recapture their youth. They trade their wives in for

bimbos. Some quit their jobs, roam the streets.

Some lose all their money gambling. Some turn to drink and drugs.

Trade in their wives for bimbos?

Relax. It's all right. Edward's not the type to do anything so extreme.

What's happening?

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Edward?

Haftel?

I'm gonna need him where we're going.

Candyland?

No, I'm taking my lady on a Caribbean vacation.

Dancing all night, catching the rays by day.

I think maybe you had enough, son.

Dad?

Hey, buddy.

You know what you and me have never done is go to a concert together. Hey, I

wonder if the Who is playing someplace.

Dad, the Who broke up years ago.

Hey, I knew that.

How about the Go -Go's?

Gone, gone.

Them too.

I got it. I'll go and see if I can't order us some tickets for Elton John.

They're still together.

I think

we've created a monster.

Yeah, the creature from Bloomingdale's.

I never thought he'd act this way over losing a stupid little tennis match.

I think I've got a plan. Please, Richard, this is a very complicated

Ow!

What's your plan?

Trust me, I got us into this one, and I'll get us out.

Dad, you want to play a little tennis game?

Oh, gee, I'd like to, son, but I'm kind of busy.

Oh, it's just as well, I guess, huh?

Ah -choo!

It was all right. Thanks.

You all right?

I'm fine.

You don't sound very fine.

Oh, I'm just getting cold, that's all.

Gosh, I feel achy all over.

Especially when I move around.

Oh.

I'll go get my racket.

Try it once more.

Oh, I'm sorry, tomorrow?

I just can't concentrate. My mind is out on the tennis court.

Ah, that's where it is.

Maybe I'll come back tomorrow when you can concentrate.

Good, I'll see you tomorrow, tomorrow.

I take

it

you won. The thrill of victory.

The agony of defeat.

Kate, I was whomped.

Well, congratulations.

I squashed him like a bug.

You said you would.

I guess that other game you won was a fluke, huh, son?

A fluke? Sure. How do you expect that weak backhand to stand up against my

powerful serve?

I can't believe this.

Believe it.

I wouldn't rush the net so much, son. It shows over -aggressiveness.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Rick.

Next time, I wouldn't use all the dinky little drop shots.

Is there anything else, Dad?

Yeah, there's one more thing. Next time you lose on purpose, you gotta make it

look more real.

You knew.

I'm no dummy.

Guess I've just been acting like one.

I made it a little rough on you guys last week or so, huh?

No, not really.

It was hell.

Well, throwing a match is a pretty desperate measure.

Well, we just wanted the old you back.

Sorry.

No excuses necessary.

Uh, does this mean I can get rid of your pastels?

Except peach pants.

I kind of like those.

I'll get it.

Tell you what, let's play another game, and this time you don't throw the match.

You're on, Dad. When do you want to play?

Two weeks.

All right, thanks, Dexter.

Honey, what happened?

Learning all that Japanese was a complete waste of time.

You're not going to believe this, but the toy convention was moved to Israel.

Oy vey.