Original subtitles

Here we are, in the state of the first Liverpool.

Open to crime, two of a kind.

Making it go, making it grow.

Together, we're going to find our way.

Together, taking the climate change.

To learn all about those things you just can't find.

Two silver spoons together.

happened to our shipping.

Uh -huh.

Well, Macy's toy department was expecting Kissy Missy. They got Bazooka

Abby and the office in 20 minutes. Bye.

Oh, hi, guys. Breakfast is on the table.

Rick, your lunch is on the counter.

Edward, the contract for Dexter are in this folder.

I put a tuna casserole in the fridge. You can have it for dinner later on

tonight. Kate, what time did you get up this morning?

Get up?

Dad, I don't think she went to bed.

Okay, so I got up a little early.

I had to make a couple of calls to London, and I thought as long as I was

I... You wax the floors and mow the lawn.

Honey, sit down.

Honey, if I sit down, I may never get up.

Kate, I appreciate the fact you've been able to be president of Eddie Toys and

still run the house, and you're doing a great job, but don't you think it's

about time we hired a housekeeper?

Edward, we've had housekeepers before. They never, ever stay.

That's because they have nothing to do. You clean everything by the time they

get up.

Edward, we don't have to hire a housekeeper because we don't need a

In other words, no housekeeper.

I get the feeling she doesn't want a housekeeper.

Boy, Dad, you amaze me.

Rick, let me tell you something about women.

Dad, it's going to take long. Look, I have to leave for school.

You want to go to school or you want to learn something?

I want to go to school.

Okay, learn the hard way.

Don't forget your lunch. Yeah.

Boy, isn't Kate the best? The best.

Best breakfast maker?

The best sandwich maker?

The best stand -up sleeper?

So your last employer had children?

Yeah.

And those little kiddies, all day long, they're laughing and they're giggling.

Well, I put a stop to that, yeah.

Well, Mrs. Vernick, as soon as we make up our minds... Perhaps before I decide

whether to accept your position, I should tell you a few things.

First, I don't do shopping.

And second, I don't... Vacuum the staircase.

You don't do stairs?

I mean... No stairs.

And no steps.

And finally, is it just you and Mr.

Stratton? Well, there's Rick. He's my stepson.

Stepson? I told you no steps.

Ah! That was the truth!

Life is not all scrubbing and cleaning, ja?

Ja.

Edward, you're just in time to meet Mrs. Bernick. Hi, Edward Stratton. Marlena

Bernick.

Marlena. What a lovely name.

Well, thank you for coming.

Goodbye. Und remember.

No steps.

Gut. Schmart.

That was close. For a minute there, I thought you were going to hire her.

I am.

What? What's wrong with her? She's organized. She's disciplined.

So are the Marines. You don't want them handling your crystal.

She's a little hard to understand.

Oh, so she has a little accent.

Kate, we can't have... Ow, Vernick. She'll scare Rick.

She won't scare Rick.

She scares me.

She's back.

What was that?

The woman Kate wants to hire as our maid.

That was a woman?

Kate, did we hire someone?

Not yet.

Well, when we do, please make sure she knows my room is off -limits. Yeah, and

try to find someone who won't frighten the houseplants.

Now, I have a better idea.

Why don't you try and find someone? Dexter and I have to get to an important

meeting. Now, wait a minute, honey. Kate, it was your idea to hire a

housekeeper. Now, that's the list of applicants that the agency is sending

Bye. Dex? Yep?

You want to stay and help me with this? At my usual consulting fee of $150 an

hour? Rick, you want to make $2?

I'm sorry, Dad. I've got no time. I've got to go work with Brad and Larry on my

history project.

Good luck.

We'll give you a lift later.

Hon, I'm sure I'll love whomever you pick.

Oh, you'll want to see the man of the house.

Uh, Mrs. Green?

Hello.

Oh, what a beautiful, big house you have.

How many rooms are there?

21.

I just cleaned it.

Mr. Stratton told me to clean all the rooms.

Oh, jeez.

It won't take long.

What won't?

Your room.

Earthshaker? No, you mean earthquake.

No, no, here, look, let me help you. No, no, if you help, then they won't need

me here.

Good point.

We definitely don't want that to happen.

What's your name? Rick.

Oh, Rick.

Oh, like in the movie Casablanca.

Did you ever see it? Are you kidding? That's my favorite movie of all time.

And what's your name?

Ingrid. Also from Casablanca.

That's right, Ingrid Bergman.

Boy, that's a neat name. So Norwegian.

Swedish.

Better yet.

Well, I'd better get started.

Oh, thank you, Dad. Thank you.

She had the best qualifications of anybody I interviewed.

Oh, I can hardly wait to meet her.

Oh, my, this certainly looks shiny.

Shiny? I could shave in this little honey.

Hi, Dad. Hi, Pete. Hey, son. Hi, Rick.

Rick, your father tells me he's hired a terrific new housekeeper. Yeah, well,

she's okay.

Well, where is she?

She's upstairs cleaning my room.

You're letting her clean your room? She must be terrific.

See? She's working out.

Edward, I gotta hand it to you. Looks like you've made a wonderful decision.

Ingrid seems to be hard -working, thorough, entirely perfect.

It's too bad she can't work here.

Let me introduce you to Ingrid. Ingrid, this is Mrs. Stratton.

Nice to meet you, ma 'am.

Ma 'am.

Uh, Edward, Rick, excuse me. Could we have a family talk in the kitchen?

Sure. Excuse me.

Yo!

Okay, so she can polish the table.

But that doesn't make up for all the other things.

What other things?

Uh, well, uh, it's a little hard to understand her.

So she has a little accent.

She has an accent?

She doesn't even look like a housekeeper.

Honey, I can't believe you're saying this.

This is the most incredibly sexist thing I ever heard you say. You want me to

fire her because of her looks?

What look?

You know what I mean.

Yeah, I think I do.

You remember what happened when I hired you?

Yes, we started dating and then we got married.

I mean before that.

Everybody said I hired you because you were beautiful.

I told them they were crazy.

I said not only is she beautiful, but she has brains to match.

Really? Honey, I hired you for your qualifications, and that's the same

hired... What's her name?

Ingrid Bridget Johanson.

Honey, the only thing I had in mind was getting us the best help possible.

Ingrid really is qualified, Kate. You've got to look at my room. You can even

see the floor now.

Can't get a better recommendation than that.

Think of all the extra time you're going to have. The extra sleep you're going

to get. Okay, okay.

You both feel so strongly about it. All right.

Excuse me.

I have to dust the chandelier.

Could someone come out and hold the ladder for me?

Move and you die.

He's alive.

He's alive.

What are you guys talking about?

We never come down to the hangout anymore.

Yeah, you never even play basketball anymore.

Look, I'd love to play, but I've had things to do here at home.

Yeah, that's what we thought. So we decided to come over here.

And use the hoop in your backyard.

No, fellas, wait.

I don't believe it. What? What are you looking at?

Am I dreaming?

Wow. All we have in our backyard is a bird bath.

weren't kidding when you said you had things to do.

Come on, guys. She's only our new housekeeper.

You mean she lives here?

Will you relax? She's just a girl. Nothing to get excited about.

She's turning over. She's turning over.

Okay. All right, guys. Look, enough is enough.

Please, let's give Ingrid some privacy.

Ingrid. Hot name.

No wonder you haven't been playing basketball after school.

Yeah, I'm surprised she even showed up for school.

Wait, look. She's getting up. She's coming this way. Okay, be cool. Be cool.

Oh,

hello,

Ingrid. I didn't know you were sunbathing in our backyard.

Oh, it's getting hot out there.

Yeah, and here, too.

Rickard, he's your friend?

Yeah, we're very close.

We share everything.

Oh. Well, Ingrid, these are my much younger, more immature friends who are

leaving. Right, guys?

Ingrid, that's a Swedish name, isn't it? I just want to say that ABBA is one of

my favorite groups.

I eat nothing but Swedish meatballs. I know you have.

Be on board!

Oh, kids.

Well, I better go change.

I'll get some more sun tomorrow.

What time?

I said that's fine. Fine.

Moron.

Oh, hello, Ingrid.

I didn't know you were up.

Hi, Rick.

You want some cocoa?

Cocoa? Sure.

I haven't had any of that stuff since I was a kid.

Really? What are you doing up tonight?

I don't know.

I've been having trouble sleeping last few nights.

Something bothering you?

No.

What could bother me?

You see, Ingrid, I was up late reading this book on my legs class and... My

English class.

English.

You see, I have to write this book report, but the love story seems a

unreal.

Unreal? Yeah.

I mean, do you think that a person could fall in love with another after just a

couple of days?

Yeah, it happens all the time.

Yeah, but even if they have different backgrounds, different ages?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah? Would you like me to warm up your cocoa?

I think you just did.

Oh, I thought I heard voices.

What are you two doing up at this hour?

Nothing, nothing.

We both got hungry at the same time, that's all. No big deal. But not

No.

Well, I think I'm ready to, uh... How do you say it?

Hit the bag.

Oh, thank you.

Good night, Mrs. Stratton. Good night.

Good night, Rick.

Good night, Ing.

Uh, Rick, I've noticed you've grown quite fond of Ing.

Kate, she's very likable.

Oh, that's true.

She's also very attractive.

Attractive?

She's beautiful.

Edward, pay attention.

This is important.

Honey, you told me about all this last night.

Edward, we're talking about little Ricky.

Little Ricky is 16 years old, Kate. He's bound to have some crushes. Well, I

think this is a little more than a crush.

Okay, so he has a thing for Ing.

I think this thing could get out of hand and become a real problem. I mean,

after all, we are living under the same roof.

Honey, what do you want me to do about it? Well, talk to her.

Well, all you have to do is tell Ingrid how Rick feels about her, and then maybe

she'll be careful not to encourage him.

I have a better idea. Why don't you talk to her?

Because I promised to take Ricky shopping.

Besides, I didn't hire her. You did.

Ingrid? Ja, Mrs. Stratton. What can I do for you?

Mrs. Stratton, did she leave yet?

Ja, just now.

With Rick.

Oh.

Anything else?

No.

Nothing.

No, there is something.

Ingrid, I think it's important to tell you that... you're doing one

heck of a job.

Heck of a?

Yeah, good, great, fantastic.

Oh, thank you, thank you, Mr. Stanton.

Yeah, but there's a little something going on here between you and...

And I think we should discuss it.

Yeah?

Well, it has to do with feelings.

Personal feelings.

Let's face it, Ingrid. Sometimes people have feelings that come from being

thrown together in a situation, and those feelings aren't really real.

But my feelings are really real.

What?

You feel the same way?

Yeah, yeah.

What about the age difference?

That is not important to me.

Only the love that I feel.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh, too.

Hey, bud.

Hi,

Dad. Ingrid.

Ingrid.

Edward, did you have your little talk with Ingrid?

Yes, I had my little talk with Ingrid.

So we don't have to worry about Rick anymore.

Dad, where's Ingrid? I want to show her my new jacket.

She's upstairs, Rick. Rick, before you go up there, can I talk to you for a

minute? Can't wait, Dad. No, it can't, son. I have to tell you something.

Ingrid?

Hello, Rick.

What's the suitcase for?

What's going on? Kate, what did you say to her?

Kate had nothing to do with this.

It is true, Rick.

I'm leaving because I want to.

Why?

Remember what I said about age making no difference?

Well, I was wrong.

It does make a difference.

Kate, why don't we step into the other room for just a moment?

Good idea.

Ingrid, you can't go.

I have to.

It's better for everyone.

It's not better for me.

Rick, remember our favorite movie?

Casablanca?

Remember how it ended with Ingrid Bergman saying goodbye?

Well, I hated that ending.

Well, when a woman has strong feelings for a man, and she knows that

nothing could ever come of it,

it's better that she leaves and take all her strong feelings with her.

What about my strong feelings?

You are so very young, and you will have many, many girlfriends to love you.

And then you will forget about me.

Where is my taxi?

Ingrid, I'm never going to forget you.

And I will never forget you.

You are...

One heck of a guy.

They're just looking at you, kid.