Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, looking for the silver spoon.

Hoping to find, we're two of a kind.

Make it a go, make it grow. Together, we're gonna find our

way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't fight.

Two silver spoons together.

You and I, we're gonna find our way.

Boy, they sure ask a lot of questions in these employment applications.

Yeah. Who'd you put down as a reference?

You. Who'd you put down?

You.

Uh... Hi.

Hi, guys.

Hi. How's Grandpa's party coming along? Oh, great.

We just came from the caterers.

Kate wanted to serve Mexican. I wanted to serve French.

So we settled on Norwegian.

We're going to have 18 different kinds of herring.

Who's the caterer? Ming Chow.

What are you guys doing?

Now that we're real mature, we feel that we're ready for an important job with

major responsibilities.

Yeah. We're going to be Mel Steckler ushers. How wonderful.

What's a Mel Steckler usher?

You've seen them. They work ball games, rock concerts, and they wear those

really noble uniforms.

Noble? They're bad.

Here, Dad. Here's a brochure.

The few, the proud, the Mel Steckler ushers.

You know, being an usher isn't as glamorous as it sounds. I was an usher

home in Columbus, Ohio at the Rivoli Theater.

You didn't like it?

Well, you're on your feet all day long and the bottom of your shoes are always

sticky and you end up seeing the same movie over and over again.

I must have seen a thousand clowns a hundred times.

Gee, that's a hundred thousand clowns.

Well, as father, as usual, right to the second. Wait, Dad.

Ready, Alfonso?

Hello,

everybody. Good morning, Mr. Brown. Your coat, sir. Your hat.

Right this way, sir.

Watch your step, sir.

Your seat, sir.

At long last, I'm receiving the deference and the respect I so richly

That's not it, Grandfather.

We're practicing to be Mel Steckler Usher.

Yeah, Mel's real demanding, you know. You might say Steckler's a stickler.

We're ready to get out into the world and make some of that lean green.

Well, we've just about completed all the arrangements for your library

fundraiser party next week, Father, but are you sure you don't want me to hire

the Renaissance merrymakers?

Come on, they'll wander through the crowd wearing their old English

juggling, miming, spreading mirth.

No mirth spreading.

It might tarnish the unveiling of my monument, my dream.

Is that your dream money armpit?

Would you do the honors, please? Oh, of course.

Let's see.

Oh.

The Edward Stratton, the Second Library of Business and Finance.

We're talking big bucks, Edward.

This fundraising party, I'm inviting into your house the cream of society.

Well, that's good, Father, because we're having cream of herring soup.

On that occasion, I want that choo -choo train out of here in the roundhouse. I

want those crayons in their box and 86 the dummy.

Don't worry. Everything will be properly refined and for date.

Do I have to be there?

What did you say?

Do I get to be there?

Yes, my boy. You get to be there and so do you.

Thank you.

Hi, Dexter. Hi, Dex. Hi, Uncle Dex.

Something the matter, Dexter?

I just heard some disturbing news on the radio about Franklin Fathersham.

What's the old coot done now?

Well, the old coot died.

That's not possible.

But only yesterday, he called me up.

I counted by calling him Chicken Lips.

Who is Favre Sham?

He's my father's lifelong business rival.

Started in 1926 when Mr. Stratton bought out Favre Sham filters.

We called it the Stratton Strainer.

Boy, did we put one over on him.

Hey, Father, it's hard to imagine you without Favre Sham would be like General

Motors without Ford or Harvard without Yale or Roadrunner without Wile E.

Coyote.

It's not fair.

It's not fair.

You're really upset about this, aren't you, Grandfather? Yes, I am.

I always hoped that I would see my library started before he started his

library.

Now, it looks as though his groundbreaking will come before me

How are you?

Kate?

Yes, Edward?

I think my face fell asleep.

Where is your father? He's over an hour late.

Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, Kate. I'm sure Dexter knows where he is.

Where is he?

The coast is clear.

There's a beeline to the buffet table. Grab some chow and get back here before

somebody can pinch our cheeks.

That's impossible, Rick.

We're too cute.

one to this party because we're practically adults.

We'll have to act our age and mingle.

Fine. Oh, there you are, you darling boys. Where have you been?

We've been buffing and mingling all over the place. Oh! Oh, oh, oh!

Ambassador Mertz, you -hoo!

That woman is a menace.

What's the matter, Rick?

That woman pinching our cheeks like we're little kids.

Oh, it probably has nothing to do with AIDS.

So, that's father, huh?

Hello?

Hello?

Yeah?

Yeah, who's this?

Oh, yeah, just a second.

Rick, it's for you. It's Mel Steckler -Rushers. Great, all right!

They only call you when you got the job.

Stratton speaking.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Oh, bummers!

Thank you.

What about Mr. Spears?

Oh, bummers!

Goodbye.

Rick? Yeah?

Well, either you didn't get the job or you've been eating those herring egg

rolls.

I did both.

They said they really liked it, and we should come back when we're older.

Come back when we're older? That's the story of our lives.

If you want to see a movie like Purple Rain, you have to come back when you're

older. If you want to drive a car, you have to come back when you're older.

I'm surprised when I was born, somebody didn't tell me, come back when you're

older.

Rick, believe me, you're going to be a grown -up soon enough.

I remember when I was your age.

Forget it, son. I don't think I can father my way out of this one.

Edward, people keep asking me where your father is. I keep saying he'd be here

any minute. I'm in danger of losing my credibility.

Yeah, I know. He cares so much about that library. I hope nothing's happened.

Maybe he's just being fashionably late so he can make an entrance.

He's picking up.

What's happened to him?

Hello, Father.

I see you brought a guest.

Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention?

I think you've got it, Grandfather.

This is D .D. Driscoll.

My own personal selection.

The spokesperson.

The Stratton Boot Company.

Stratton owner, Stratton Boot Company. I

didn't

know you owned a boot company.

It's named for the Oots Bay.

It was beautiful.

I'm still hearing it.

I loved it.

Thank you, Eddie, too.

Eddie, too?

Yes, may I introduce... This is my son, Edward Stratton III.

So you're Eddie III.

I reckon.

And this is my son.

No, Ricky won.

And Don Alfonso, that was a great yell.

You must have big lungs.

Do you want me to do it again?

Oh, no, no, no.

You don't want to strain yourself.

Richard, why don't you and Alfonso go to the herring bar with Doo -Doo?

Bring what in?

Is he on some sort of medication?

I don't think so.

Should he be?

What is it?

This, Ricky, is a statue.

I call it Didi au naturel.

the verge of a major scandal.

Did that burn it?

It's absolutely unique.

She sure looks different when she's natural.

Yeah, you've really captured her... hat.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have an announcement.

Bernie, hit it.

As of this moment, I am resigning as chairman of

Stratton Industries.

What? Now, people, let us party. Party!

did not die for the clam.

It's hard to squarely ask just three people. We need another person.

Madam, do you care to Alamand left?

I think not.

Have a little dozy do.

Too young.

Father, I think it's time you and I had a talk about what's going on with you.

Try to loosen up?

When I get loose, I'm loose as a goose.

I see. Then that explains Annie gets your heart pills, huh?

All my life, I wanted a hot...

Hot babies, one thing, but don't you think relinquishing your entire empire

nuts? With all due respect.

Well, you can write that down to midlife crisis.

At your age?

Well, when I was in midlife, they hadn't invented the crisis.

You've got to do it now.

Don't you think that you've gone a little too far too fast?

Well... I don't want to end like Favisham.

Favisham died with his suit on.

For him, it's too late.

It's not too late for me.

Richard? Yeah?

Would you care to ride in my new Porsche?

Sure.

Dee Dee, I shall return.

Okay, Eddie Two.

You're very good.

She is so musical.

Hurry, Edward.

He'll snap out of it.

Yeah, maybe a drive around the block will quiet him down.

dressed up.

I left my sleazy clothes in the shop.

What are you in for?

Driving with an expired license.

Oh yeah?

I'm in for grand theft auto, extortion, and fraud.

Did I mention my license expired in 1936?

and bail you out.

You know, you guys are making me feel very underdressed.

Richard, see where I've ended.

See what a mess I've made of my life.

Oh, what wouldn't I give to be your age again?

Fourteen, it's no picnic.

You're barely old enough to do anything. They won't even let me in the cell with

you.

Richard,

Don't be in such a hurry to grow up.

Let me tell you something about myself.

When I graduated from college, I went to spend the summer in Paris.

I was never so young as I was that summer.

Richard, enjoy your youth.

Savor it.

Take time to smell every rose.

For me, it may be too late.

Why?

You've still got a nose.

Father, you've got a lot more in your heart than I thought you had.

I get it.

Your three generations are made of these.

You tried to recapture too much. You're throwing away everything you've spent a

lifetime building up.

Why can't you have it both ways?

Ever since Favisham died, there's no more challenge.

Well, I guess you're right. I suppose in that case, you wouldn't be interested

in hearing how they've turned the company over to Favisham Jr., huh?

Not Skippy.

I guess you'd even be less interested in hearing how Dexter overheard this self

-same Skippy at the Princeton Club talking about how he was going to bring

Stratton Industries to its, and I quote, needs, unquote.

I don't believe it.

I'll ruin him.

Let me out of here.

Let me out of here.

Screw you.

Father, you have to promise me you're going to try to balance your life.

You can go back to your business, but still do some fun things.

I can still do my sculpting. I'm good at that.

Yeah, you are good. You're very good.

Isn't he, Dad?

Yeah.

Very good. Very good.

Picasso himself said he couldn't teach me a thing.

So, um, Saturdays and Sundays you can sculpt. And Mondays through Fridays you

can ruin people.

Hey, I feel better already.

So do I.

I'm going to appreciate and enjoy being 14.

Of course, 14 would be better if I could see a movie like Purple Rain and drive

a car.

Richard.

Edward.

You know, you guys gave me an idea.

When I get out of here, I'm going to get a regular job Monday through Friday.

On Saturday and Sunday, I'm going to ruin people.

We're going to find our way together,

taking the time each day to learn all about

those things you just can't.