Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, swiping through the silver spoon.

Hoping to find we're two of a kind.

Making it go, making it grow. Together, we're going to find our

way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't buy.

Two silver spoons together.

You and I together.

two M &M plain and raise you one M &M peanut.

Straight flush, I bet it all.

and I just shoved each other around a little.

Ricky, I've told you.

There are other ways of settling your differences than duking it out.

You can debate things and discuss it in a civil manner.

I've called you Balloon Head.

I hope you've knocked this block off.

Balloon Head.

settled things with this bully.

Look, it's no big deal, Dad.

It's just typical kid stuff.

Ox insulted you, we pushed each other around a little bit, his pants fell

and I threw his pants down on Mantle.

His name is Hobart.

Son, is this the punk that deep -sixed your pants?

Yeah, Pop.

Wait a minute. What's going on here? Stratton, Willard Doyle. Yeah, well,

is my attorney, Leonard Rollins. Hello. And my secretary, Kate Summers.

Hello.

Goodbye.

Mr. Doyle, we love having visitors. We really do.

But we found over the years that most of our guests arrive wearing pants.

That's the whole point. You see, your son took my son's pants and threw them

down the sewer.

He had to run home like that with everybody laughing at him.

Oh, that must have been humiliating. Yeah. Can I put my pants on now, Pop?

I want all of these people to see just how humiliated you are.

should be subjugated to that kind of humiliation.

I see your point. Yeah, well, you can also see that my son has suffered a

deal of mental anguish.

Uh, look, uh... Willard. Willard.

I'll be glad to buy your son a new pair of pants, okay?

You rich guys are all alike.

You think you can look down on me because I have to work for a living.

You think I'm slime because I got dirt under my fingernails. Well, I'm not

slime. I'm just an ordinary hard -working Joe who sees here a golden

to take you for an easy 50 ,000.

Willard, you're not sly.

Sludge, maybe.

Stratton, all I'm talking about here is an out -of -court settlement, pure and

simple. Court? Yeah.

Your son gave my son a terrible case of whiplash. Right, Hobart? Yeah, Pop.

Hobart. Yeah. Oh!

faking, Ricky.

Edward, if I were you, I wouldn't give this guy one red cent. Don't worry,

Leonard. I won't. Alan Wattenmaker has agreed to be my attorney.

Whoa, ho, ho, ho. Alan Wattenmaker.

Big deal.

Leonard here happens to be the best attorney in this country.

He'll cream this Alan Wattenmaker.

Won't you, Leonard?

Won't you, Leonard?

Yo, Leonard.

Would you take a check?

Dad.

You're right, son, you're right.

This is a matter of principle, and if you insist on taking this to court, Mr.

Doyle, well, then, we'll just have to let a judge decide it, won't we? Good

Hobart?

Hobart, why are you trying to steal my father's money?

Dimple. Stealing money makes me feel good inside.

In that case, you've got a big future in politics.

Is

that

Alan Wattenmaker over there?

Yeah. He's autographing his new book, Winning Through Whiplash.

I know he's got a trick up his sleeve.

He'll do anything to slay a jury.

Oh, boy.

Don't you worry, Ricky. He's not going to get a nickel out of us.

Right, Leonard?

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye. All rise for his honor.

the case of Hobart Doyle.

Oh, you poor kid.

Hobart Doyle versus Richard Stratton.

This is a civil suit asking for medical damages in the amount of $218 .67 and

for punitive damages in the amount of $67 million.

Attorneys concerning a pretrial motion... Just a minute, please.

Baylor?

I'm still not sure about this.

I mean, if I grant this motion, it'll make me a laughingstock.

It might improve your image.

Huh?

Judge, this case could generate a ton of publicity.

Oh? You've got to do something if you want to be re -elected.

The people of New York, they need you.

Are you saying this because you mean it or because you're my son -in -law?

Both, Your Honor.

Well,

as I was saying, the defendant, Richard Stratton, has requested a pretrial

motion. And although it's unprecedented, I have decided

to grant it.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you are charged with the task of weighing

evidence fairly and completely.

You were chosen because the defendant, Richard Stratton, has requested that he

be tried by a jury of his peers.

Are there any questions?

Since your son's tragic injury, has he suffered in any way?

Oh, yes, sir. That kid's really hurting.

He hasn't been able to do any of his chores around the house.

He hasn't been able to do any of his schoolwork.

He hasn't been able to play any video games.

and royally screwed up. Thank you, Mr.

Doyle. Thank you for your witness.

Mr. Doyle.

No questions at this time?

Bayliss, the witness is excused.

down, they'll give me the electric chair.

That's enough. I will have order in my court.

Call your next witness.

I call to the stand Hobart.

You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

I do.

Young man, if you feel tired or if you experience any pain, if you'd let me

know, I'll call a recess.

I can't enjoy recess anymore, Your Honor, but thanks anyway.

Hobart, are you familiar with the defendant, Richard Stratton? Oh, yes.

and I go to school together.

Oh, hi. And were you and he good friends?

Well, sir...

I wanted to be his friend, but he got all the kids in school to call me a

Now, I know this is going to be very difficult for you, Hobart, but can you

us the name he called you?

Ox.

See what I mean?

I'm a very sensitive person.

That's why I just could not believe it when... when Richard came at me with

meat cleaver.

Meat cleaver?

I managed to knock it out of his hand. And fortunately, I tackled him before he

could get to the butcher knife.

Butcher knife?

He's an animal.

Anyway, when I turned to leave, he knocked me over the head with a baseball

And when I fell down, He put... He... He's... He jumped on my neck.

He jumped on my neck.

He jumped on my neck until I lost my consciousness.

That's a lie!

Sit down, young man.

Do you hate Richard Stratton now?

Oh, no, sir, no. I don't hate Richard.

I just hope Richard straightens himself out before he kills somebody.

Like a judge, for instance.

Thank you, Hobart. Thank you.

And in the words of Obi -Wan Kenobi, may

the force be with you.

a conference with my client? You may.

Your Honor, if it's going to be a long one, could I take the jury out to C .E

.T.? No,

you may not.

Sorry, gang.

Sorry, I tried.

I think your idea is backfiring.

This rotten maker is as good at fooling kids as he is at fooling grown -ups.

I know.

Leonard, put me on the stand. Right now.

Why?

I want to beat him at the real game.

I'm ready to testify.

Your Honor, I have no questions for the witness at this time.

Thank you, Mr. Lawrence.

Thank you, son. That will be all. Sister.

We have completed our case.

Good luck.

Mr. Rawlings, would you like to start for the defense, please?

Thank you, Your Honor.

I wish to present our first and only witness, Ricky Stratton.

Raise

your

right hand. If you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the

truth. I do.

Ricky, you heard Hobart's testimony.

Why don't you tell this courtroom and the good boys and girls of this jury

happened between you two?

Just tell the story in your own words.

Yes, sir, I...

Well, the truth is, I did shove Hobart Doyle.

I shoved him and he fell down.

But listen, I want you to understand why I did it.

You see, Hobart insulted my father.

Guys, let me tell you about my dad.

You know how sometimes when you ask your parents a question, they'll just ignore

you? Or tell you to stop bothering them?

Okay, well, not my dad.

I can ask him anything, at any time.

And I'll always look him real close and tell me the God's honest truth.

Like when I asked him how a man in the world made a baby.

He told me the truth.

Made me throw up.

with me.

He always does.

He'll play catch with me. He'll chop tadpoles at me.

He'll even read a comic book with me.

Now, I know that my father loves me, but you want to know what's really great?

He likes me, too.

He likes me being around him.

He makes me feel, well, as if I'm his best friend.

So when that kid over there insulted him, I got mad.