Original subtitles

Here we are, face to face, looking through the silver spoon.

Hoping to find, we're two of a kind.

Making it grow, making it grow. Together,

we're going to find our way.

Together, taking the time each day.

To learn all about those things you just can't buy.

Two silver spoons together.

You and I, we're gonna find our way.

You and I, we're gonna find our way.

You and I.

officer in the West who single -handedly just saved your scalp from an angry

pack of renegade servants.

Oh, man. Thank you, sir.

Shucks.

Torn up, ma 'am.

Kate, you all packed and ready to go? Mm -hmm. You excited about your vacation?

Oh, not really. I've been on ocean cruises before.

They're nothing but seasickness, sunburn, and bad food.

Then why do you go?

To have fun.

Come on, Kate. Fess up.

This is a singles cruise, right?

Edward, it's an opportunity for diverse, dignified people to meet and travel to

foreign islands. Well, thus learning the custom and the history of the

indigenous natives.

He sounds great. Who's the sponsor?

Club Whoopie.

Colonel, why don't you check the engine there for aero damage?

Listen, I know how expensive these cruises can be.

I mean, the first port you come to, you buy a dozen carved coconut heads you

tapped out.

Anyway... Here.

This is $1 ,000.

Edward, you're too generous.

Only with people I really like.

Thank you.

Kate, I want you to have a real good time.

Hey, who knows? Maybe you'll meet a nice guy.

Yeah. Can I say goodbye now? Is there more stuff I'm not supposed to hear?

Well,

goodbye.

Goodbye.

Well, I'd better hurry.

The guys without gold chains go fast.

Well, son, I thought it was important that I try to spend as much time as

possible with you.

Besides, I wasn't really sure how you'd feel about me dating.

Come on, Dad. I wasn't born in the woods, you know.

this one lady that I'm working on a masquerade ball for the children's

with. Her name's Helen Winslow.

You like her?

Well, yeah. She's intelligent, charming.

Is she... No.

More like... Hey, then go for it, Daddy. Well, maybe

I will. Maybe I will. Hey, how about you? You got a girl you're interested

Nope. Still at that awkward age. You know when girls are yucky?

They're not as yucky as they used to be.

Well, it's only a matter of time until you fall in love.

Really?

Yeah. How am I going to know when I'm in love?

Well, you'll know.

You won't be able to think straight.

You'll be dizzy.

You'll lose your appetite.

I already felt that way.

You did?

Tom ate some bad fish.

Just transferred.

the two most beautiful words in the English language.

Yeah, what are they?

Sally Frumble.

Rick, I don't want to cry, but is this Sally Frumble, somebody special?

I hope so, or I'm acting real dumb for nothing.

Gee, gee, that is pretty.

It's weird, Dad.

Sally is all I can think about.

Well, why don't you ask her to a movie some Saturday afternoon?

That's a great idea.

While she's looking at the film, I can stare at her.

Can you ask her for me?

Well, Rick, now wait a minute. I think that's your job.

I can't, Dad.

Every time I try and talk to her, my tongue goes on strike.

You'll find your mouth will start to work when it's disconnected from your

eyeballs.

I can't do it. What do you mean you can't? I asked Helen Winslow. If I can

it, you can do it.

You're right.

I can do it. Good show, sir.

Methinks I hear some blackouts in the library.

Wouldst excuse me, sir?

Yes, I wouldst.

Good show.

Saturday afternoon.

It's probably another drippy love letter to Sally.

Now, would you please tie your shoes?

Give me that back, Derek.

To my sweet Sally Frumble.

I don't know why the sky is blue.

I don't know why, but the sea is, too.

I don't know why a cow goes moo.

All I know is that I love you.

Gatman, spoon.

Derek, before I met Sally, that might have made me mad.

But now, I'm a mature guy.

Rick, since you show signs of being more than an average run -of -the -mill

hockey puck,

I'm going to tell you the truth about your girlfriend.

What are you talking about?

Can I put this delicately?

Let's just say that Sally is every guy's pally.

You're thick.

That's a lie.

And I know Sally.

I know we've got something really special going together.

And nothing you can say about her is going to change that.

Fine. Let's just drop the subject then.

I have to go anyway.

That cow goes moo.

Hi, men.

You seem to be in high spirits.

Well, I just had a date with a wonderful woman.

She would have to be exceptional to be worthy of you, sir.

Well, thank you, Derek.

Truth must be told.

Well, I should be going now. I want to read my favorite book before I turn in.

I hope to get through the Gospel of St. Luke.

and I discussed what costumes we'd wear to the masquerade balls.

I wanted us to go as Cyrano and Roxanne, but she wanted to go as George and

Martha Washington.

So we compromised.

We're going as Heckle and Jekyll.

Are you in love with Helen?

No, I wouldn't say I'm in love.

I'm madly in like.

Well, I'm madly in love. Tomorrow, I'm making a big move.

I'm talking commitment.

I'm talking full partnership.

Talking lifetime together.

You mean... Yes.

I'm giving Sally Frumble my I .D. bracelet.

Me too, Ricky. Like Anthony and Cleopatra.

Romeo and Juliet.

Joanie and Chachi.

You're a perfect pair.

I want the whole world to know just how I feel about you.

So what I'm really trying to say is, Sally, will you wear my ID bracelet?

No. That's great, but... Did you say no?

You're already wearing an ID bracelet.

Judson W.

Motzenbacher?

You're going with hose nose?

His name is Judson.

I'm sorry, Ricky.

On the way to school this morning, a car ran a stop sign.

It would have run me over if Judson hadn't pushed me out of the way.

He saved my life.

You fell for that line?

oldest one in the book.

Are you okay? Hey.

How can I handle it?

Um, I want it to be friends.

Yeah, sure. You and I can be friends.

Hope you don't mind if I hate hose nose.

You're so cute.

That's me.

Mr. Cute.

Okay. Hey.

You mind?

Sorry.

You know something?

I think my last slurping talk was watered down.

I want to speak to hilarious Hal.

I'm hilarious.

the next one a little stronger, please. My son here is trying to drown his

sorrows.

I can't believe it.

I finally met the woman of my dreams.

She dumps me.

I'm only 12.

Do you realize how many years I have left to be miserable?

than never to have loved at all.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

You better start fixing another round for me and Ben Franklin.

Tell me why.

You're really hurting, aren't you?

I've never felt so awful in my whole life.

One minute I'm sad, next minute I'm empty.

Next minute, I'm angry.

I feel so bad.

Ricky.

You know, sometimes in Bugs Bunny cartoons, there'll be a thing where Bugs

drives over Elmer Fudd with a steamroller.

And Elmer Fudd comes out flat as a board.

That's how I feel.

Like a flat Fudd.

I wish I could just...

Snap my fingers and make all the pain go away.

Hey, why don't you take your cue from Elmer?

Whenever he got flattened, he'd just blow on his thumb and we entwade

Nice try, Dad.

I'm sure he'll love stuff forever.

Listen to me. Remember...

Listen to me. Remember how good you felt these last two weeks when you were with

Sally?

I could see it in your eyes. You were walking on air.

Wasn't that a terrific feeling?

Yeah, it was, but I got shot down.

Well, but that's because you took the risk.

You made yourself vulnerable.

And when you're vulnerable, you can get hurt.

But maybe the next time you fall in love, you won't get hurt.

But you'll never know unless you're willing to take that risk.

I understand what you're saying, Dad.

Now, um, I'm just, I'm just real with girls, okay? Forever, I'm real with

To learn all about those things you just can't buy.

Two silver spoons together.