Original subtitles

What?

Watch your teeth.

Can't even give a decent blowjob.

Is there anyone here who can give me some pleasure and make me smile?

Can't you see that I'm bored and in need of attention?

What is this noise?

Excuse me, Your Majesty, but we have caused this intruder in your treasury.

Who is it, and what has he done?

I think we have caught a thief. Take him away.

Kill him. Take your dirty hands off me. Go.

You're breaking the laws of the Geneva Convention.

Who is this? Who is talking?

Is this a joke or what? Do you think I'm joking?

I demand legal counsel and a fair trial by a jury of my peers.

Bring them back over here.

Defeat him and serve him for dinner with little things.

Take it easy, your majesty.

I'm not sure this is the best way to handle this issue. What issue?

The only issue I have is that I'm terribly bored. You have another issue.

Someone is stealing from you. Half of your treasures are fake.

What are you talking about?

I'm telling you. Half of your treasures are fake.

The precious stones are made of glass.

The ring on your finger with the red stone.

It's not real.

Impossible.

An ambassador of Kuwait gave it to me as a gift.

And it sure has a nice sparkle.

That's exactly it. That's what I'm talking about. Not everything that

is gold.

My master used to be a gynecologist.

One day this pretty lady comes to see him. She is loaded with jewelry. Not to

mention. The expensive fur coat she is wearing.

Did I mention this happened when the doctor's office was getting renovated?

Oh, doctor, doctor.

I'm with so much trouble.

This is so awkward.

So uncomfortable.

I really don't even know how to do this.

Interesting.

I'm not sure.

Please, doctor.

I have the highest confidence in you.

Please help me.

Okay.

Uh, I see what can I do.

Please take everything off and get into the same chair.

Oh, thank you, Doctor.

So, the woman gets on to a spot and gets in the chair.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't know what this has to do with my fake

stones. Just wait until I finish.

As you wish.

Bud!

I don't like your story. You're going to die a torture death.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes. The man in the white lab coat tries everything to

pressure the woman.

He uses his fingers and his tongue.

Not successful.

Do you feel anything?

No?

Okay, let's try something else.

What's that?

Do you feel something?

No?

Amen.

Do you feel nothing?

Nothing.

I think they have to figure something out.

Anything at all?

Nothing. Nothing?

You feel anything?

I found some work.

We have to find... find out something else, so... Let's do this.

Now I... I need your help, so... Can you help me?

Okay.

Just like that.

What do you feel now?

Do you feel better?

Just like that.

Now you have to lift one foot.

One more.

Okay?

Thanks for having me.

Thank you.

You have to make some noise, like, oh, you didn't enjoy it.

Maybe.

Do you feel something?

Maybe it's better?

Are you getting better?

You're getting better.

You feel much better?

I can hear you.

But I felt nothing.

Except you sweaty body on top of me.

Look lady, I have tried everything.

The best I can tell you, just wait for the doctor.

Because... I'm just here to paint the office.

That was great.

I think I know what you mean.

This story tells us that everything is not what it seems to be.

Hello. Like the husband who arrived home unexpected.

Why? What happened to him?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I'm good.

Thank you.

You don't even say hello to me?

That was a good one, too.

But don't you think all is forgiven and you're off the hook, huh?

You gained some time, but your punishment is still coming.

You'll be sorry a thousand times for that you have ever entered my treasury.

What is his story?

Well, after wedding, he arrived with his beautiful wife at the hotel where they

were going to spend the wedding.

He carried his wife over the threshold and can't be...

Uh huh.

But how many men did you have sex before me, huh?

So, she didn't answer?

No, but the man waited patiently for about half an hour before the answer.

Then, is everything alright?

Are you angry with me?

Of course not. I'm still counting.

Negotiating your price.

I would like a very large cucumber.

I'll take a medium size to the crowd's surface.

I take whatever kind you have. It's for a salad.

What the hell?

Why am I fused with my right hand?

Now?

Excuse me, lady, but this is the area where you do not stand.

Are you sure you came to the right place?

Can you

give

me a hug, please?

Wow!

That's a nice watch.

What does it do?

Well, it can actually do a lot.

Right now, it tells me you're not wearing panties.

But I'm wearing panties.

Shit, it's an hour ahead again.

What the hell was that?

Don't worry about it. Your Majesty, I already kept showing off my sense of

humor. That's enough.

Off you go. Take him.

Make sure you don't regret the hasty decision.

Like the average Joe who visited a whorehouse.

Why? What happened to him?

He got fucked.

What? No pun intended.

So one day, our average Joe is walking around in the red light district looking

for action. He spots a sign over one of the doors for just $10 more

Spanish style.

This spots his interest.

He goes in and asks for the Spanish style.

Now.

uh uh

Thank you.

Ah!

Oh God.

clever bird.

You know exactly you won't be killed until you finish that story.

What? Yes.

I thought that might be the case.

Now that you have made me laugh again, I got something for you to do.

Here's your challenge.

Tell me a story where the husband cheats on his wife with two other women

at the same time.

But the wife

While she is away, the husband invites two beautiful women to their house.

They start making out.

um um

Thank you.

Please, don't do that, darling.

Don't worry.

You will be next.

That was great.

Because you set me up, I pronounce you now my court jester.

Thank you, Your Honor.

Your Majesty.

Yeah, because I'm feeling good now.

It's time to have some fun.

Good. Good, please.

Take care of me.

Thank you.

Oh.